{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":28.28,"endTime":33.08,"body":"Awesome Hello"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":28.28,"endTime":33.08,"body":"everyone and welcome to the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":33.08,"endTime":37.82,"body":"therapist unplugged. I am Laurie"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":33.08,"endTime":37.82,"body":"pool and today's special guest"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":37.82,"endTime":42.08,"body":"is my colleague Courtney stroll,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":37.82,"endTime":42.08,"body":"licensed professional counselor."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":42.59,"endTime":47.99,"body":"Courtney is a graduate of UT"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":42.59,"endTime":47.99,"body":"Austin go Longhorns and SMU"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":47.99,"endTime":51.89,"body":"where she obtained a Master's of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":47.99,"endTime":51.89,"body":"Science in Counseling. She then"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":51.89,"endTime":56.480000000000004,"body":"went on to intern at SMU Center"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":51.89,"endTime":56.480000000000004,"body":"for Family Counseling, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":56.480000000000004,"endTime":60.17,"body":"provide a group counseling for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":56.480000000000004,"endTime":60.17,"body":"high school teens, adolescents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":60.17,"endTime":64.19,"body":"on the on the autism spectrum."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":60.17,"endTime":64.19,"body":"And teens with eating disorders"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":64.19,"endTime":67.13,"body":"at the Center for eating"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":64.19,"endTime":67.13,"body":"disorders at Baylor hospital."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":67.52000000000001,"endTime":72.35,"body":"Courtney joined the mop for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":67.52000000000001,"endTime":72.35,"body":"group team in 2018. Welcome cord"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":72.35,"endTime":73.16,"body":"to your friend"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":73.16,"endTime":76.7,"body":"podcast."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":73.16,"endTime":76.7,"body":"Thanks, Laura. Happy to be here."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":76.7,"endTime":79.73,"body":"slightly terrified. As I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":76.7,"endTime":79.73,"body":"mentioned you,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":80.239,"endTime":84.469,"body":"that's okay. If"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":80.239,"endTime":84.469,"body":"you stumbled pause, and we'll"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":84.469,"endTime":85.90899999999999,"body":"just edit it out."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":86.24000000000001,"endTime":88.61,"body":"We're doing it"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":86.24000000000001,"endTime":88.61,"body":"we're doing the thing, not a"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":88.61,"endTime":89.30000000000001,"body":"problem."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":90.53,"endTime":93.02,"body":"So Courtney, today"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":90.53,"endTime":93.02,"body":"we are getting unplugged for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":93.02,"endTime":98.78,"body":"some straight talk on teams. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":93.02,"endTime":98.78,"body":"know that this has become a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":98.78,"endTime":103.19,"body":"niche for you. And based on your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":98.78,"endTime":103.19,"body":"biography, it seems like right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":103.19,"endTime":106.85,"body":"out right out of the barn door."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":103.19,"endTime":106.85,"body":"You are working a lot with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":108.11,"endTime":112.79,"body":"tweens, teens, maybe older"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":108.11,"endTime":112.79,"body":"teens, and this has continued to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":112.79,"endTime":118.43,"body":"be a niche. These clients love"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":112.79,"endTime":118.43,"body":"you. And so to their parents, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":118.43,"endTime":125.0,"body":"gotta say. And so I'm wondering,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":118.43,"endTime":125.0,"body":"if today maybe we can start with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":125.0,"endTime":128.48000000000002,"body":"talking about what is a team"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":125.0,"endTime":128.48000000000002,"body":"because I know you were saying,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":128.48000000000002,"endTime":130.85,"body":"you know, parents will come in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":128.48000000000002,"endTime":130.85,"body":"and say hello, my kids being an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":130.85,"endTime":135.23000000000002,"body":"asshole. And I don't know what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":130.85,"endTime":135.23000000000002,"body":"to do. The stuff that used to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":135.23000000000002,"endTime":138.89,"body":"work when they were younger"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":135.23000000000002,"endTime":138.89,"body":"children just isn't working"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":138.89,"endTime":142.85,"body":"anymore. They don't listen, they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":138.89,"endTime":142.85,"body":"take their own time doing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":142.85,"endTime":147.2,"body":"things, they can be a little"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":142.85,"endTime":147.2,"body":"obnoxious and disrespectful. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":147.23000000000002,"endTime":152.69,"body":"the outside world takes on a lot"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":147.23000000000002,"endTime":152.69,"body":"more importance for them than it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":152.69,"endTime":156.83,"body":"used to. And that can be very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":152.69,"endTime":156.83,"body":"confusing. So I thought maybe a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":156.83,"endTime":160.43,"body":"good place to start for our to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":156.83,"endTime":160.43,"body":"our straight talk on teens would"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":160.43,"endTime":164.48,"body":"be you know, what is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":160.43,"endTime":164.48,"body":"adolescence? And what is this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":164.48,"endTime":169.52,"body":"period all about? And are there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":164.48,"endTime":169.52,"body":"not developmental tasks for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":169.52,"endTime":173.6,"body":"teenagers? The way there are for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":169.52,"endTime":173.6,"body":"little kids, you know, children"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":173.6,"endTime":176.99,"body":"will develop, they're crawling,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":173.6,"endTime":176.99,"body":"they're walking their speech,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":177.23,"endTime":180.68,"body":"that kind of thing. But teens"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":177.23,"endTime":180.68,"body":"have tasks too. And I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":180.68,"endTime":182.75,"body":"sometimes that gets lost."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":183.41,"endTime":187.13,"body":"Absolutely. And"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":183.41,"endTime":187.13,"body":"I'm this is one of my favorite"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":187.13,"endTime":191.33,"body":"topics, topics to talk about."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":187.13,"endTime":191.33,"body":"Specifically because I think"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":191.33,"endTime":194.36,"body":"kids from such a young age, and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":191.33,"endTime":194.36,"body":"I think identify kids is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":194.54,"endTime":197.72,"body":"anything from age zero to 10. I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":194.54,"endTime":197.72,"body":"think once we hit double digits,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":197.72,"endTime":200.45,"body":"then we're talking adolescence."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":197.72,"endTime":200.45,"body":"And that's when I have the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":200.45,"endTime":202.94,"body":"parents that come in and say, I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":200.45,"endTime":202.94,"body":"can't decide if my kids"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":202.94,"endTime":207.17,"body":"depressed or being an asshole."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":202.94,"endTime":207.17,"body":"And that's that's just the plain"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":207.17,"endTime":212.51,"body":"truth is, it's super difficult"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":207.17,"endTime":212.51,"body":"for parents, when kids start to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":212.51,"endTime":216.11,"body":"develop their identity, they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":212.51,"endTime":216.11,"body":"start to explore and have their"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":216.11,"endTime":222.29,"body":"own values, is it oftentimes I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":216.11,"endTime":222.29,"body":"get the parent who comes in and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":222.29,"endTime":225.35,"body":"says I do this, this and this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":222.29,"endTime":225.35,"body":"for my child, which is valid, by"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":225.35,"endTime":229.1,"body":"the way. But does that mean your"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":225.35,"endTime":229.1,"body":"kid can never have a complaint"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":229.22,"endTime":230.9,"body":"or disagree with you?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":231.38,"endTime":233.12,"body":"Right? Because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":231.38,"endTime":233.12,"body":"they will?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":234.17,"endTime":236.33,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":234.17,"endTime":236.33,"body":"They're developing an identity,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":236.33,"endTime":239.87,"body":"they can explore the internet"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":236.33,"endTime":239.87,"body":"now, their friends talk. It's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":239.87,"endTime":242.54,"body":"not everything that our parents"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":239.87,"endTime":242.54,"body":"taught us at this point, we're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":242.54,"endTime":244.94,"body":"able to take in information from"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":242.54,"endTime":244.94,"body":"the world in a way that we"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":244.94,"endTime":245.75,"body":"weren't before."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":246.079,"endTime":248.359,"body":"That's right,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":246.079,"endTime":248.359,"body":"exactly. You know, I think the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":248.359,"endTime":252.019,"body":"other thing, and I do remember"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":248.359,"endTime":252.019,"body":"very well, the first time I had"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":252.019,"endTime":257.80899999999997,"body":"a teen when Nick turned 13 I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":252.019,"endTime":257.80899999999997,"body":"thought testosterone is an evil"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":257.80899999999997,"endTime":261.469,"body":"drug, and it should lock because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":257.80899999999997,"endTime":261.469,"body":"I don't know who this kid is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":261.469,"endTime":263.47900000000004,"body":"sitting at the dining room table"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":261.469,"endTime":263.47900000000004,"body":"anymore."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":264.11,"endTime":265.46000000000004,"body":"And I'm"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":264.11,"endTime":265.46000000000004,"body":"surprised you could get him"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":265.46000000000004,"endTime":267.23,"body":"there. Again, well, listen,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":267.26,"endTime":270.11,"body":"I guess the food"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":267.26,"endTime":270.11,"body":"was pretty good. But, you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":270.11,"endTime":274.55,"body":"we had a really, really rough"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":270.11,"endTime":274.55,"body":"ride a very rough ride. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":274.85,"endTime":278.75,"body":"there were things I learned,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":274.85,"endTime":278.75,"body":"actually, in my studies at SMU"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":278.75,"endTime":282.8,"body":"that I thought God, I wish I had"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":278.75,"endTime":282.8,"body":"known then what I'm hearing now,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":283.28,"endTime":288.02,"body":"because I wouldn't have taken"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":283.28,"endTime":288.02,"body":"things quite so personally. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":288.04999999999995,"endTime":292.85,"body":"there are when you talk about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":288.04999999999995,"endTime":292.85,"body":"that identity, I often explain"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":292.85,"endTime":297.79999999999995,"body":"to parents that many"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":292.85,"endTime":297.79999999999995,"body":"adolescents, they they kind of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":297.79999999999995,"endTime":302.12,"body":"star in their own movie, they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":297.79999999999995,"endTime":302.12,"body":"think that they are the main"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":302.21000000000004,"endTime":306.47,"body":"character and whatever is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":302.21000000000004,"endTime":306.47,"body":"happening to them is only"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":306.47,"endTime":310.97,"body":"happening to them and that the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":306.47,"endTime":310.97,"body":"whole world is watching. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":311.0,"endTime":316.28,"body":"part of that you know is trying"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":311.0,"endTime":316.28,"body":"different identities which you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":316.28,"endTime":320.87,"body":"can see reflected in perhaps the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":316.28,"endTime":320.87,"body":"way they dress. The other"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":320.87,"endTime":324.14,"body":"students or friends they hang"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":320.87,"endTime":324.14,"body":"out with the kind of music they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":324.14,"endTime":329.75,"body":"listen to. I remember when my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":324.14,"endTime":329.75,"body":"son was in Got about 15 You"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":329.75,"endTime":333.35,"body":"know, the pants for all was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":329.75,"endTime":333.35,"body":"below the underwear."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":334.22,"endTime":335.69000000000005,"body":"How'd you feel"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":334.22,"endTime":335.69000000000005,"body":"about that? Lt."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":335.87,"endTime":338.09000000000003,"body":"Well Oh, it's like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":335.87,"endTime":338.09000000000003,"body":"watching a kid try to walk with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":338.09000000000003,"endTime":340.01,"body":"a webbed crotch I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":342.70899999999995,"endTime":344.629,"body":"doesn't make"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":342.70899999999995,"endTime":344.629,"body":"the most logical sense, but I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":344.629,"endTime":345.769,"body":"just think for him,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":345.79999999999995,"endTime":348.23,"body":"but that's what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":345.79999999999995,"endTime":348.23,"body":"that's what he needed to do. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":348.23,"endTime":353.87,"body":"we just kind of rode that wave."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":348.23,"endTime":353.87,"body":"But the the developmental tasks"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":353.9,"endTime":359.12,"body":"of learning how to regulate"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":353.9,"endTime":359.12,"body":"emotions, figure out who they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":359.12,"endTime":364.15999999999997,"body":"are, distance themselves from"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":359.12,"endTime":364.15999999999997,"body":"family before they come back to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":364.15999999999997,"endTime":366.23,"body":"family. Can you?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":367.82000000000005,"endTime":369.62,"body":"Yeah, so I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":367.82000000000005,"endTime":369.62,"body":"actually love that you brought"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":369.62,"endTime":373.64,"body":"up. I think my favorite moment"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":369.62,"endTime":373.64,"body":"when you just said that whole"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":373.64,"endTime":377.15,"body":"piece was, it's like they're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":373.64,"endTime":377.15,"body":"starring in their own movie when"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":377.17999999999995,"endTime":380.75,"body":"they're in middle school, high"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":377.17999999999995,"endTime":380.75,"body":"school. And it because it can be"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":380.75,"endTime":384.55999999999995,"body":"difficult for adults to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":380.75,"endTime":384.55999999999995,"body":"understand, because we've been"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":384.55999999999995,"endTime":387.77,"body":"through some of these"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":384.55999999999995,"endTime":387.77,"body":"experiences. But something I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":387.77,"endTime":390.35,"body":"always asked with parents is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":387.77,"endTime":390.35,"body":"let's think about the concept of"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":390.35,"endTime":396.83000000000004,"body":"time when we were 10 1316."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":390.35,"endTime":396.83000000000004,"body":"Compared to how it is now I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":396.83000000000004,"endTime":401.75,"body":"blink and we're almost in 2022."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":396.83000000000004,"endTime":401.75,"body":"Yeah, when I'm beyond i 35,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":402.26,"endTime":406.13,"body":"South headed to Austin, three"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":402.26,"endTime":406.13,"body":"hours felt like 10 When I was in"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":406.13,"endTime":411.95000000000005,"body":"middle school, the classic Are"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":406.13,"endTime":411.95000000000005,"body":"we there yet? So truly, if we're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":411.95000000000005,"endTime":414.74,"body":"talking about an adolescent"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":411.95000000000005,"endTime":414.74,"body":"brain, it makes sense why they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":414.74,"endTime":417.53,"body":"feel that they are in this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":414.74,"endTime":417.53,"body":"movie, because every they have"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":417.53,"endTime":420.67999999999995,"body":"not had the chance to experience"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":417.53,"endTime":420.67999999999995,"body":"these things yet. And"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":420.98,"endTime":424.78999999999996,"body":"additionally, their frontal lobe"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":420.98,"endTime":424.78999999999996,"body":"is not developed yet. Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":424.78999999999996,"endTime":425.65999999999997,"body":"should probably point"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":425.65999999999997,"endTime":428.24,"body":"out that an adult"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":425.65999999999997,"endTime":428.24,"body":"brain doesn't fully develop till"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":428.24,"endTime":433.07000000000005,"body":"about the age of 25. Mm hmm."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":428.24,"endTime":433.07000000000005,"body":"Absolutely. And so when you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":433.07000000000005,"endTime":437.51,"body":"dealing with a teenager or an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":433.07000000000005,"endTime":437.51,"body":"adolescent, there are certain"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":438.20000000000005,"endTime":441.98,"body":"developmental tasks or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":438.20000000000005,"endTime":441.98,"body":"developmental phases that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":441.98,"endTime":446.78,"body":"haven't fully developed yet. Can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":441.98,"endTime":446.78,"body":"we talk a little Courtney about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":446.78,"endTime":452.65999999999997,"body":"emotional regulation, the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":446.78,"endTime":452.65999999999997,"body":"outbursts, my life is over. The"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":452.65999999999997,"endTime":456.67999999999995,"body":"drama, the drama of what's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":452.65999999999997,"endTime":456.67999999999995,"body":"happening with peer"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":456.67999999999995,"endTime":460.54999999999995,"body":"relationships, or the protests"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":456.67999999999995,"endTime":460.54999999999995,"body":"at home when parents try to set"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":460.54999999999995,"endTime":461.48,"body":"boundaries?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":461.84000000000003,"endTime":465.26,"body":"Yeah, I have"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":461.84000000000003,"endTime":465.26,"body":"another one of my favorite"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":465.5,"endTime":468.53,"body":"topics pedestals I like to stand"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":465.5,"endTime":468.53,"body":"on, especially when working with"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":468.53,"endTime":472.58000000000004,"body":"parents is that sometimes and I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":468.53,"endTime":472.58000000000004,"body":"think back to my relationship"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":472.58000000000004,"endTime":475.28,"body":"with my parents in the arguments"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":472.58000000000004,"endTime":475.28,"body":"we would get in sometimes they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":475.28,"endTime":478.22,"body":"think parents can be wasting"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":475.28,"endTime":478.22,"body":"their breath to get in these"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":478.42999999999995,"endTime":481.97,"body":"back and forth, teeter totters"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":478.42999999999995,"endTime":481.97,"body":"with their teenagers, because"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":481.97,"endTime":485.03,"body":"they don't have the capability"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":481.97,"endTime":485.03,"body":"to emotionally regulate. That"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":485.03,"endTime":487.30999999999995,"body":"does not mean they can't suffer"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":485.03,"endTime":487.30999999999995,"body":"consequences for being"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":487.30999999999995,"endTime":493.82000000000005,"body":"disrespectful, right? However,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":487.30999999999995,"endTime":493.82000000000005,"body":"having the last word sometimes"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":493.82000000000005,"endTime":497.80999999999995,"body":"being a parent, and knowing,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":493.82000000000005,"endTime":497.80999999999995,"body":"okay, I'm gonna walk away,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":498.11,"endTime":500.36,"body":"because I understand that this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":498.11,"endTime":500.36,"body":"is not going to be productive"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":500.36,"endTime":505.03999999999996,"body":"right now. Right? Whereas the 15"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":500.36,"endTime":505.03999999999996,"body":"year old, can't do that yet."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":505.85,"endTime":509.33000000000004,"body":"One of this one of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":505.85,"endTime":509.33000000000004,"body":"the tricks was really a trick."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":509.78,"endTime":515.12,"body":"But the sense of urgency,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":509.78,"endTime":515.12,"body":"teenagers, adolescents have a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":515.12,"endTime":519.8,"body":"sense of urgency, almost about,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":515.12,"endTime":519.8,"body":"I was gonna say almost about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":519.8,"endTime":522.35,"body":"everything, but when they want"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":519.8,"endTime":522.35,"body":"something when they need"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":522.35,"endTime":527.96,"body":"something it's got to be right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":522.35,"endTime":527.96,"body":"now. And one of the things I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":527.96,"endTime":532.22,"body":"learned to say is, I need some"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":527.96,"endTime":532.22,"body":"time to think about that. Give"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":532.22,"endTime":535.52,"body":"me a moment, because I could"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":532.22,"endTime":535.52,"body":"find myself getting caught up in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":535.52,"endTime":538.58,"body":"their sense of urgency, like I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":535.52,"endTime":538.58,"body":"had to come up with a solution,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":538.85,"endTime":543.38,"body":"or make a decision, right, right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":538.85,"endTime":543.38,"body":"this minute. And their urgency"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":543.38,"endTime":548.87,"body":"didn't have to be mine. That was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":543.38,"endTime":548.87,"body":"something that really, I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":548.87,"endTime":552.41,"body":"served me well over time, you'd"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":548.87,"endTime":552.41,"body":"have to ask my children now who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":552.41,"endTime":559.28,"body":"are in their 30s. But it gave me"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":552.41,"endTime":559.28,"body":"space and grace, to regulate"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":559.28,"endTime":564.1999999999999,"body":"myself, because I think what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":559.28,"endTime":564.1999999999999,"body":"happens is that when teens sort"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":564.1999999999999,"endTime":568.01,"body":"of spin out, parents start"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":564.1999999999999,"endTime":568.01,"body":"spinning out, and then before"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":568.01,"endTime":571.1,"body":"you know it, the whole family is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":568.01,"endTime":571.1,"body":"spinning out because of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":571.1,"endTime":576.26,"body":"something happening with one of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":571.1,"endTime":576.26,"body":"the teenagers and it can be very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":576.26,"endTime":580.04,"body":"hard at times to stay grounded"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":576.26,"endTime":580.04,"body":"as a parent."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":580.55,"endTime":583.28,"body":"Oh, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":580.55,"endTime":583.28,"body":"And I think too, that this is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":583.28,"endTime":586.55,"body":"not just a struggle with teens,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":583.28,"endTime":586.55,"body":"but adults too. I think about"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":586.55,"endTime":591.02,"body":"the emails I get from adults,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":586.55,"endTime":591.02,"body":"requesting things I need this by"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":591.02,"endTime":595.04,"body":"tomorrow, when it's a Saturday,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":591.02,"endTime":595.04,"body":"and I'm not seeing them until"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":595.04,"endTime":600.74,"body":"Wednesday. And as you know, I've"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":595.04,"endTime":600.74,"body":"had to check myself understand"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":600.74,"endTime":604.4,"body":"that I have time not to play"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":600.74,"endTime":604.4,"body":"into the anxiety. So some of it"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":604.4,"endTime":607.13,"body":"I think is learned, though I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":604.4,"endTime":607.13,"body":"think it does. It is more"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":607.13,"endTime":610.37,"body":"prevalent for a team to feel"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":607.13,"endTime":610.37,"body":"like I need to fix this here"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":610.37,"endTime":616.9399999999999,"body":"now. can't recognize that like a"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":610.37,"endTime":616.9399999999999,"body":"wave in the ocean. It does and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":616.9399999999999,"endTime":625.79,"body":"will fall. Not everything is as"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":616.9399999999999,"endTime":625.79,"body":"in your face. It is right now"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":625.8199999999999,"endTime":628.22,"body":"and it won't be in two days."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":628.28,"endTime":631.04,"body":"That's right."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":628.28,"endTime":631.04,"body":"That's right. It's big now. But"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":631.04,"endTime":634.8199999999999,"body":"will it be 10 days from now? 10"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":631.04,"endTime":634.8199999999999,"body":"weeks from now 10 months from"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":634.8199999999999,"endTime":640.5799999999999,"body":"now. But I think with teenagers,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":634.8199999999999,"endTime":640.5799999999999,"body":"the sense of urgency, and I have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":640.5799999999999,"endTime":643.37,"body":"no doubt that most parents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":640.5799999999999,"endTime":643.37,"body":"listening to this podcast today"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":643.37,"endTime":646.61,"body":"Courtney have had that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":643.37,"endTime":646.61,"body":"experience where Oh my God, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":646.61,"endTime":650.24,"body":"need this for homecoming. Wait a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":646.61,"endTime":650.24,"body":"second, can we can we go to can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":650.24,"endTime":655.0699999999999,"body":"we go to two? Oh my god at"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":650.24,"endTime":655.0699999999999,"body":"Kroger and you know, I have I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":655.0699999999999,"endTime":658.16,"body":"have a bake sale, I have this, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":655.0699999999999,"endTime":658.16,"body":"have that. And you can see"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":658.16,"endTime":659.93,"body":"parents with their hair on fire"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":660.5899999999999,"endTime":662.4499999999999,"body":"with their"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":660.5899999999999,"endTime":662.4499999999999,"body":"three other children that they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":662.4499999999999,"endTime":668.6899999999999,"body":"are commitments to. And my kid"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":662.4499999999999,"endTime":668.6899999999999,"body":"forgot this Yes. And their jobs."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":669.0799999999999,"endTime":670.97,"body":"We know what's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":669.0799999999999,"endTime":670.97,"body":"interesting is that from a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":670.97,"endTime":675.17,"body":"family therapy perspective,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":670.97,"endTime":675.17,"body":"families will come in often for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":675.17,"endTime":678.02,"body":"the first time in family therapy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":675.17,"endTime":678.02,"body":"when they have a teenager."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":679.3399999999999,"endTime":683.48,"body":"Because adolescence can be so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":679.3399999999999,"endTime":683.48,"body":"disruptive, depending on the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":683.48,"endTime":687.14,"body":"person, not all teens are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":683.48,"endTime":687.14,"body":"equally disruptive. But there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":687.14,"endTime":690.14,"body":"are usually periods we can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":687.14,"endTime":690.14,"body":"almost predict. And that's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":690.14,"endTime":695.27,"body":"actually healthy. Because part"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":690.14,"endTime":695.27,"body":"of their developmental task is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":695.27,"endTime":698.54,"body":"to figure out how they are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":695.27,"endTime":698.54,"body":"different than or different from"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":698.9,"endTime":704.63,"body":"the family that they grew up in."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":698.9,"endTime":704.63,"body":"That is part of why peers and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":704.66,"endTime":707.9599999999999,"body":"outside social groups become so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":704.66,"endTime":707.9599999999999,"body":"important to them, because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":707.9599999999999,"endTime":715.76,"body":"they're learning how to figure"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":707.9599999999999,"endTime":715.76,"body":"that stuff out. So I think, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":715.76,"endTime":720.98,"body":"know, it's a very busy fraught"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":715.76,"endTime":720.98,"body":"time, but there are ways to get"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":720.98,"endTime":726.38,"body":"through it in, you know, with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":720.98,"endTime":726.38,"body":"your sanity intact. One of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":726.38,"endTime":729.98,"body":"things that I found and I'd be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":726.38,"endTime":729.98,"body":"interested in, in your thoughts"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":729.98,"endTime":732.9499999999999,"body":"on this, Courtney, because you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":729.98,"endTime":732.9499999999999,"body":"deal with both parents and with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":732.9499999999999,"endTime":737.66,"body":"teenagers, is to not take"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":732.9499999999999,"endTime":737.66,"body":"everything so personally, that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":737.66,"endTime":741.11,"body":"would have boundary is sad. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":737.66,"endTime":741.11,"body":"there's lots of protests to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":741.11,"endTime":744.86,"body":"understand that that boundaries"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":741.11,"endTime":744.86,"body":"are disruptive, that structure"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":744.86,"endTime":750.38,"body":"can be disruptive, but that what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":744.86,"endTime":750.38,"body":"works for the whole family is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":750.38,"endTime":753.38,"body":"usually when there's healthy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":750.38,"endTime":753.38,"body":"boundaries set and maintained. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":753.38,"endTime":754.91,"body":"don't know, what are your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":753.38,"endTime":754.91,"body":"thoughts about that?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":755.3299999999999,"endTime":757.1,"body":"I think privacy"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":755.3299999999999,"endTime":757.1,"body":"is so important. It's so"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":757.1,"endTime":760.04,"body":"difficult for parents to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":757.1,"endTime":760.04,"body":"understand, I think a big age is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":760.04,"endTime":762.9499999999999,"body":"16, when your kid starts"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":760.04,"endTime":762.9499999999999,"body":"driving, and suddenly they're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":762.9499999999999,"endTime":765.65,"body":"home less, they're wanting to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":762.9499999999999,"endTime":765.65,"body":"spend more time with their"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":765.65,"endTime":770.36,"body":"friends, they get home, they go"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":765.65,"endTime":770.36,"body":"straight to their room, and you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":770.36,"endTime":772.67,"body":"feel like you've done everything"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":770.36,"endTime":772.67,"body":"for them. And they want nothing"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":772.67,"endTime":776.66,"body":"to do with you. And I hate to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":772.67,"endTime":776.66,"body":"say this, but it's kind of"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":776.66,"endTime":781.1,"body":"normal. Creating that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":776.66,"endTime":781.1,"body":"independence, I say dissonance"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":781.4,"endTime":785.66,"body":"in the home junior and senior"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":781.4,"endTime":785.66,"body":"year, I almost think is what"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":785.66,"endTime":791.12,"body":"helps make the bird leaving the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":785.66,"endTime":791.12,"body":"nest easier. You kind of can't"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":791.12,"endTime":794.8399999999999,"body":"wait for them to leave, they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":791.12,"endTime":794.8399999999999,"body":"can't wait to go. It's not that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":794.8399999999999,"endTime":801.14,"body":"there's not grief there too. But"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":794.8399999999999,"endTime":801.14,"body":"I do believe that dissonance"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":801.53,"endTime":805.13,"body":"exists for a reason. And it is a"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":801.53,"endTime":805.13,"body":"part of them learning who and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":805.13,"endTime":808.52,"body":"what they want to be. And the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":805.13,"endTime":808.52,"body":"hope is that they turn out to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":808.52,"endTime":811.88,"body":"babies independent thriving"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":808.52,"endTime":811.88,"body":"adults in the world who are kind"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":812.3,"endTime":817.1899999999999,"body":"and successful emotionally,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":812.3,"endTime":817.1899999999999,"body":"mentally, financially, if that's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":817.1899999999999,"endTime":819.5899999999999,"body":"important to that person. Sure."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":819.62,"endTime":823.79,"body":"Sure. I you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":819.62,"endTime":823.79,"body":"I was just looking over some"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":823.8199999999999,"endTime":828.14,"body":"some notes that we talked about."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":823.8199999999999,"endTime":828.14,"body":"Can you speak to what you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":828.14,"endTime":830.78,"body":"described as fear induced"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":828.14,"endTime":830.78,"body":"respect?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":831.3199999999999,"endTime":833.99,"body":"Absolutely. And"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":831.3199999999999,"endTime":833.99,"body":"I think when I think"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":833.99,"endTime":837.74,"body":"generationally, this is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":833.99,"endTime":837.74,"body":"something that was absolutely"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":837.8299999999999,"endTime":841.4599999999999,"body":"more prevalent in former"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":837.8299999999999,"endTime":841.4599999999999,"body":"generations of, you know, I'm"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":841.4599999999999,"endTime":844.1899999999999,"body":"the adult. And this is what"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":841.4599999999999,"endTime":844.1899999999999,"body":"we're doing, because I say so"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":844.25,"endTime":847.04,"body":"not giving an explanation. But"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":844.25,"endTime":847.04,"body":"what I learned in my"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":847.04,"endTime":850.13,"body":"developmental courses is that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":847.04,"endTime":850.13,"body":"predictability is important."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":851.27,"endTime":856.37,"body":"From as early as 123, there's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":851.27,"endTime":856.37,"body":"something called structured doll"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":856.37,"endTime":860.24,"body":"play, where you literally have"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":856.37,"endTime":860.24,"body":"kids like toys to help. And you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":860.24,"endTime":862.9399999999999,"body":"replay the story for seven days"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":860.24,"endTime":862.9399999999999,"body":"straight before they go to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":862.9399999999999,"endTime":866.48,"body":"preschool for the first time, so"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":862.9399999999999,"endTime":866.48,"body":"that when they leave mom or dad"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":866.48,"endTime":870.98,"body":"for the first time, it's not"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":866.48,"endTime":870.98,"body":"this full blown tantrum, they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":870.98,"endTime":873.8299999999999,"body":"can kind of understand if we"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":870.98,"endTime":873.8299999999999,"body":"remind them of the dolls we've"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":873.8299999999999,"endTime":877.16,"body":"been playing with for the last"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":873.8299999999999,"endTime":877.16,"body":"seven days. So I say why don't"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":877.16,"endTime":880.22,"body":"we talk to teens about this?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":877.16,"endTime":880.22,"body":"Anytime I'm talking to parents"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":880.22,"endTime":883.88,"body":"about consequences or curfews"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":880.22,"endTime":883.88,"body":"and what happens if you're late,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":884.3299999999999,"endTime":888.26,"body":"I say, I don't want this rule to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":884.3299999999999,"endTime":888.26,"body":"go into effect. And this just be"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":888.26,"endTime":891.41,"body":"something different than it was"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":888.26,"endTime":891.41,"body":"before. I want this to be"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":891.41,"endTime":895.9399999999999,"body":"communicated, even negotiated."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":891.41,"endTime":895.9399999999999,"body":"Giving your child a voice to try"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":895.9399999999999,"endTime":900.38,"body":"and say, you know if you come up"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":895.9399999999999,"endTime":900.38,"body":"if your parents are reporting,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":900.56,"endTime":904.31,"body":"okay, 11pm is when the phone has"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":900.56,"endTime":904.31,"body":"to be away as a junior in high"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":904.31,"endTime":908.6899999999999,"body":"school. If your kid can share"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":904.31,"endTime":908.6899999999999,"body":"their feelings and say what do"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":908.6899999999999,"endTime":912.1999999999999,"body":"you think of 1130 Maybe there's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":908.6899999999999,"endTime":912.1999999999999,"body":"room for negotiation. Simply"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":912.1999999999999,"endTime":916.52,"body":"giving them a voice can change"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":912.1999999999999,"endTime":916.52,"body":"everything in your household. It"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":916.52,"endTime":917.63,"body":"makes me feel heard."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":918.35,"endTime":922.64,"body":"I think that is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":918.35,"endTime":922.64,"body":"huge. Regardless of whether it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":922.64,"endTime":927.02,"body":"an adolescent and a parent, or a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":922.64,"endTime":927.02,"body":"husband and a wife, or co"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":927.02,"endTime":930.77,"body":"workers in the workplace, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":927.02,"endTime":930.77,"body":"think most people really want to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":930.77,"endTime":934.88,"body":"feel as though they're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":930.77,"endTime":934.88,"body":"understood. And when you allow"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":934.88,"endTime":937.9399999999999,"body":"teens to contribute to the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":934.88,"endTime":937.9399999999999,"body":"solution, when there's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":937.9399999999999,"endTime":943.13,"body":"problem, it seems to me there's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":937.9399999999999,"endTime":943.13,"body":"greater potential for buy in."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":943.4,"endTime":946.97,"body":"And they feel like they've"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":943.4,"endTime":946.97,"body":"played a role and as you say,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":947.2099999999999,"endTime":951.77,"body":"had a voice. And if we can't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":947.2099999999999,"endTime":951.77,"body":"give them a voice at home, where"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":951.77,"endTime":955.8199999999999,"body":"else are they going to find it?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":951.77,"endTime":955.8199999999999,"body":"This is a great place for them"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":955.8199999999999,"endTime":960.74,"body":"to start practicing the speaking"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":955.8199999999999,"endTime":960.74,"body":"up, and contributing, not to be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":960.74,"endTime":965.42,"body":"rude, but to be part of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":960.74,"endTime":965.42,"body":"solution. As opposed to all I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":965.42,"endTime":968.99,"body":"the problem. I'm the disrupter."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":965.42,"endTime":968.99,"body":"I'm the one that everybody in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":968.99,"endTime":972.41,"body":"the family is talking about. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":968.99,"endTime":972.41,"body":"can't do anything, right, I get"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":972.41,"endTime":977.0,"body":"blamed. We hear that from teens."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":972.41,"endTime":977.0,"body":"And so when they have an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":977.0,"endTime":979.8199999999999,"body":"opportunity to speak up and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":977.0,"endTime":979.8199999999999,"body":"contribute to the solution,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":979.8199999999999,"endTime":983.3,"body":"whether it's a family meeting"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":979.8199999999999,"endTime":983.3,"body":"around the table, and people"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":983.3,"endTime":986.81,"body":"have a voice to say, this is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":983.3,"endTime":986.81,"body":"what I think it should be mom"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":986.81,"endTime":990.8,"body":"and dad have the last say, but"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":986.81,"endTime":990.8,"body":"when when you can negotiate and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":990.8,"endTime":993.8,"body":"talk, you're also providing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":990.8,"endTime":993.8,"body":"skills that are going to serve"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":993.8,"endTime":994.8199999999999,"body":"them outside the home."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":995.3299999999999,"endTime":996.77,"body":"Absolutely. In"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":995.3299999999999,"endTime":996.77,"body":"their interpersonal"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":996.77,"endTime":999.86,"body":"relationships, I think the hope"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":996.77,"endTime":999.86,"body":"is that our kids do better than"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":999.86,"endTime":1008.0799999999999,"body":"we do. interpersonally and just"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":999.86,"endTime":1008.0799999999999,"body":"in the world in general, you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1008.0799999999999,"endTime":1011.5,"body":"know, we're talking about this."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1008.0799999999999,"endTime":1011.5,"body":"And I'm thinking of early"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1011.5,"endTime":1014.0799999999999,"body":"development and choice giving"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1011.5,"endTime":1014.0799999999999,"body":"kind of what we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1014.0799999999999,"endTime":1016.81,"body":"is negotiating, communicating"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1014.0799999999999,"endTime":1016.81,"body":"with your teens, a lot of times"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1016.81,"endTime":1019.63,"body":"teens come in, and they say,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1016.81,"endTime":1019.63,"body":"Yeah, I asked my parents to do"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1019.63,"endTime":1022.3,"body":"this. And they just said no. And"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1019.63,"endTime":1022.3,"body":"when I asked why they just said,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1022.3299999999999,"endTime":1025.24,"body":"because I said no. And that's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1022.3299999999999,"endTime":1025.24,"body":"kind of what I'm talking about"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1025.24,"endTime":1030.25,"body":"is communicating how come? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1025.24,"endTime":1030.25,"body":"and not just because I'm the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1030.25,"endTime":1033.49,"body":"adult, because even as an adult,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1030.25,"endTime":1033.49,"body":"that doesn't make a whole lot of"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1033.49,"endTime":1036.4,"body":"sense to me. And that goes into"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1033.49,"endTime":1036.4,"body":"that idea of fear induced"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1036.4,"endTime":1040.15,"body":"respect. I personally don't want"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1036.4,"endTime":1040.15,"body":"someone to respect me because"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1040.15,"endTime":1044.92,"body":"they're scared. I want someone"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1040.15,"endTime":1044.92,"body":"to respect me because I respect"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1044.92,"endTime":1048.43,"body":"them. There's equal to me. So"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1044.92,"endTime":1048.43,"body":"often, I'll have an adolescent"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1048.43,"endTime":1051.8500000000001,"body":"sitting on the couch across from"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1048.43,"endTime":1051.8500000000001,"body":"me and my therapist chair, and I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1051.8500000000001,"endTime":1055.87,"body":"will get out of the chair and I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1051.8500000000001,"endTime":1055.87,"body":"will sit on the ground at the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1055.87,"endTime":1058.1499999999999,"body":"coffee table where we're doing"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1055.87,"endTime":1058.1499999999999,"body":"an activity and they're sitting"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1058.1499999999999,"endTime":1062.17,"body":"on the couch because I have no"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1058.1499999999999,"endTime":1062.17,"body":"issue being beneath them."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1063.28,"endTime":1066.22,"body":"Yeah, it's not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1063.28,"endTime":1066.22,"body":"you're not looking to create a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1066.22,"endTime":1071.8,"body":"power play between the client"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1066.22,"endTime":1071.8,"body":"who's maybe 16 and yourself."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1073.27,"endTime":1077.83,"body":"Something else you talked about,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1073.27,"endTime":1077.83,"body":"Courtney was setting kids up for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1077.83,"endTime":1085.27,"body":"failure. What are your thoughts"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1077.83,"endTime":1085.27,"body":"about that for parents? Wow."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1085.54,"endTime":1090.37,"body":"Like, which is a big one. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1085.54,"endTime":1090.37,"body":"know. It's a it's a huge topic."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1090.37,"endTime":1095.1399999999999,"body":"But it was something you brought"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1090.37,"endTime":1095.1399999999999,"body":"up when we were preparing for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1095.32,"endTime":1099.16,"body":"things we would talk about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1095.32,"endTime":1099.16,"body":"during the podcast. And I wonder"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1099.16,"endTime":1103.99,"body":"if this setting kids up for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1099.16,"endTime":1103.99,"body":"failure is also related to the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1103.99,"endTime":1109.03,"body":"way boundaries are set. Or where"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1103.99,"endTime":1109.03,"body":"there's consequences for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1109.03,"endTime":1109.6,"body":"something?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1110.11,"endTime":1112.69,"body":"Yeah. So this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1110.11,"endTime":1112.69,"body":"actually goes into the choice"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1112.69,"endTime":1116.95,"body":"giving that I briefly mentioned"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1112.69,"endTime":1116.95,"body":"before, and that's, you know, if"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1116.95,"endTime":1120.04,"body":"we can offer children toy"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1116.95,"endTime":1120.04,"body":"choices as early as three years"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1120.04,"endTime":1123.46,"body":"old, you can choose to Gary"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1120.04,"endTime":1123.46,"body":"Landreth that this and his Oreo"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1123.46,"endTime":1126.94,"body":"cookie theory, this is where"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1123.46,"endTime":1126.94,"body":"choice giving was created. He"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1126.94,"endTime":1129.61,"body":"said to his daughter, you can"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1126.94,"endTime":1129.61,"body":"have you can choose to have one"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1129.61,"endTime":1132.34,"body":"Oreo cookie, or you can choose"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1129.61,"endTime":1132.34,"body":"to have no Oreo cookies at all."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1132.73,"endTime":1136.87,"body":"And the kid can cry, they can"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1132.73,"endTime":1136.87,"body":"scream. And that's their choice."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1136.8999999999999,"endTime":1139.1499999999999,"body":"They have to suffer the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1136.8999999999999,"endTime":1139.1499999999999,"body":"consequences of the choice they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1139.1499999999999,"endTime":1143.1399999999999,"body":"made not just because my parents"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1139.1499999999999,"endTime":1143.1399999999999,"body":"said, you can't have any Oreo"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1143.1399999999999,"endTime":1148.09,"body":"cookies, you're giving them"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1143.1399999999999,"endTime":1148.09,"body":"power, which they've actually"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1148.57,"endTime":1152.74,"body":"found. When we offer kids"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1148.57,"endTime":1152.74,"body":"choices, they can make better"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1152.74,"endTime":1155.77,"body":"decisions as they grow up. So"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1152.74,"endTime":1155.77,"body":"when they get into the vehicle,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1156.1,"endTime":1159.46,"body":"Gary Landreth talks about this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1156.1,"endTime":1159.46,"body":"too, at 16 years old. They"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1159.46,"endTime":1162.25,"body":"choose not to text and drive"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1159.46,"endTime":1162.25,"body":"because they've learned to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1162.25,"endTime":1165.55,"body":"suffer consequences of their"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1162.25,"endTime":1165.55,"body":"choices, not because my parents"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1165.55,"endTime":1167.3799999999999,"body":"said you better not text and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1165.55,"endTime":1167.3799999999999,"body":"drive."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1168.73,"endTime":1173.1399999999999,"body":"Makes sense. Makes"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1168.73,"endTime":1173.1399999999999,"body":"sense. That ties into also not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1173.1399999999999,"endTime":1177.1299999999999,"body":"only the choices, but also then"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1173.1399999999999,"endTime":1177.1299999999999,"body":"as they get older to be able to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1177.22,"endTime":1180.16,"body":"have a discussion about what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1177.22,"endTime":1180.16,"body":"those consequences are and what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1180.16,"endTime":1184.09,"body":"the choices will be. Right?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1180.16,"endTime":1184.09,"body":"Right as as part of a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1184.09,"endTime":1187.3899999999999,"body":"disciplinary action, for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1184.09,"endTime":1187.3899999999999,"body":"example, or behavior that needs"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1187.3899999999999,"endTime":1193.84,"body":"to be corralled. Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1187.3899999999999,"endTime":1193.84,"body":"Another piece that came up was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1193.87,"endTime":1198.28,"body":"about parental discomfort with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1193.87,"endTime":1198.28,"body":"children's emotions with their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1198.28,"endTime":1201.73,"body":"teens emotions, which can be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1198.28,"endTime":1201.73,"body":"really big,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1202.75,"endTime":1207.7,"body":"huge,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1202.75,"endTime":1207.7,"body":"uncomfortable. slamming doors."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1207.73,"endTime":1212.11,"body":"Oh, yeah. I hate you. I want"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1207.73,"endTime":1212.11,"body":"nothing to do with you. I can't"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1212.11,"endTime":1218.23,"body":"wait to leave. Ah, yeah. Fonzie"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1218.26,"endTime":1221.98,"body":"pausing, yes, no,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1218.26,"endTime":1221.98,"body":"it's a big one. It's a big one"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1221.98,"endTime":1228.28,"body":"because even in family therapy."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1221.98,"endTime":1228.28,"body":"I see it when a family comes in."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1228.76,"endTime":1236.29,"body":"with teens or young adults, like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1228.76,"endTime":1236.29,"body":"in their early 20s It can be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1236.29,"endTime":1241.57,"body":"very hard for parents to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1236.29,"endTime":1241.57,"body":"tolerate internally watching"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1242.05,"endTime":1246.82,"body":"their son or daughter experience"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1242.05,"endTime":1246.82,"body":"emotional pain, or feel"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1246.82,"endTime":1250.45,"body":"depressed or go through a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1246.82,"endTime":1250.45,"body":"breakup. I mean, let's talk"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1250.45,"endTime":1253.87,"body":"about romantic breakups during"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1250.45,"endTime":1253.87,"body":"adolescence."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1254.2,"endTime":1257.05,"body":"So funny you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1254.2,"endTime":1257.05,"body":"bring this up, any of my clients"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1257.05,"endTime":1262.3899999999999,"body":"listening will be like she is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1257.05,"endTime":1262.3899999999999,"body":"told me this before. Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1262.3899999999999,"endTime":1265.21,"body":"the classic example I give to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1262.3899999999999,"endTime":1265.21,"body":"parents is I ask, have you ever"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1265.21,"endTime":1268.06,"body":"had a breakup? Lori? Did you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1265.21,"endTime":1268.06,"body":"ever have a breakup or go"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1268.06,"endTime":1269.35,"body":"through heartbreak in high"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1268.06,"endTime":1269.35,"body":"school?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1270.1299999999999,"endTime":1272.77,"body":"Oh, my gosh, I was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1270.1299999999999,"endTime":1272.77,"body":"madly in love with someone who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1272.77,"endTime":1276.97,"body":"hardly saw me. So it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1272.77,"endTime":1276.97,"body":"really a breakup. It was it was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1276.97,"endTime":1281.17,"body":"feeling unseen. But I remember"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1276.97,"endTime":1281.17,"body":"every day, my heart just aching"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1281.2,"endTime":1283.69,"body":"waiting for this guy to notice"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1281.2,"endTime":1283.69,"body":"me. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1284.08,"endTime":1286.0,"body":"And did you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1284.08,"endTime":1286.0,"body":"ever talk to your mom about it?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1286.3899999999999,"endTime":1290.68,"body":"No, never? Well, the common"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1286.3899999999999,"endTime":1290.68,"body":"theme that I hear back from"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1290.68,"endTime":1292.99,"body":"parents is if they've gone"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1290.68,"endTime":1292.99,"body":"through a breakup, what did"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1292.99,"endTime":1295.72,"body":"their parents say to them, and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1292.99,"endTime":1295.72,"body":"it's always something to the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1295.72,"endTime":1299.77,"body":"effect of, it gets better over"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1295.72,"endTime":1299.77,"body":"time, you'll meet the right"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1299.77,"endTime":1304.78,"body":"person, he or she is just not"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1299.77,"endTime":1304.78,"body":"the one for you. And I turned to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1304.78,"endTime":1307.24,"body":"them. And I say did that make"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1304.78,"endTime":1307.24,"body":"you feel any better during that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1307.24,"endTime":1311.74,"body":"time? And the response is always"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1307.24,"endTime":1311.74,"body":"no. And I said, I say Hmm, it's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1311.74,"endTime":1314.68,"body":"interesting. Because what didn't"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1311.74,"endTime":1314.68,"body":"work for us, we did our"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1314.68,"endTime":1318.73,"body":"children. And it's because we're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1314.68,"endTime":1318.73,"body":"so uncomfortable seeing them in"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1318.73,"endTime":1321.94,"body":"pain. And the other example I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1318.73,"endTime":1321.94,"body":"give is Laurie, if you fell in"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1321.94,"endTime":1325.72,"body":"front of me right now, I would"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1321.94,"endTime":1325.72,"body":"run to you and I'd say, oh, my"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1325.72,"endTime":1328.84,"body":"gosh, Laurie, are you okay? Do"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1325.72,"endTime":1328.84,"body":"we need to call a doctor in five"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1328.84,"endTime":1330.76,"body":"minutes? I'd probably check in"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1328.84,"endTime":1330.76,"body":"and be like, Are you sure your"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1330.76,"endTime":1333.76,"body":"knee is okay? Whereas if a three"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1330.76,"endTime":1333.76,"body":"year old fell in front of me"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1333.76,"endTime":1336.82,"body":"right now, I would literally"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1333.76,"endTime":1336.82,"body":"pick them up. I would tell them"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1336.82,"endTime":1340.06,"body":"they're okay. Probably four"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1336.82,"endTime":1340.06,"body":"times you're okay. You're okay."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1340.42,"endTime":1343.06,"body":"Because I would feel them"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1340.42,"endTime":1343.06,"body":"crying. And I would grab them"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1343.06,"endTime":1344.98,"body":"and ice pack? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1346.1499999999999,"endTime":1348.97,"body":"you raise a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1346.1499999999999,"endTime":1348.97,"body":"really, really interesting"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1348.97,"endTime":1354.94,"body":"point, Courtney, because, yes,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1348.97,"endTime":1354.94,"body":"we do. We reach for what we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1354.94,"endTime":1358.45,"body":"experienced as children's and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1354.94,"endTime":1358.45,"body":"what we were children. And what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1358.45,"endTime":1362.98,"body":"we were told by our parents when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1358.45,"endTime":1362.98,"body":"we scraped a knee had a breakup."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1364.09,"endTime":1370.03,"body":"But we don't often hear about a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1364.09,"endTime":1370.03,"body":"parent sitting down. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1370.03,"endTime":1373.81,"body":"not, I'm not I'm trying not to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1370.03,"endTime":1373.81,"body":"paint with a really wide brush"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1373.81,"endTime":1377.41,"body":"here. But I'm talking about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1373.81,"endTime":1377.41,"body":"skills and what we understand."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1377.83,"endTime":1380.95,"body":"When we try to offer comfort,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1377.83,"endTime":1380.95,"body":"it's like you're going to be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1380.95,"endTime":1384.46,"body":"fine. I know this is rough right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1380.95,"endTime":1384.46,"body":"now. But somebody better is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1384.46,"endTime":1386.92,"body":"going to come along and you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1384.46,"endTime":1386.92,"body":"going to meet the right guy,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1387.3999999999999,"endTime":1391.96,"body":"which at that time, as you say"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1387.3999999999999,"endTime":1391.96,"body":"isn't as helpful as a man, this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1391.96,"endTime":1398.59,"body":"is really hard right now. It"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1391.96,"endTime":1398.59,"body":"just sucks. And you wonder how"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1398.59,"endTime":1401.05,"body":"you're ever going to get"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1398.59,"endTime":1401.05,"body":"yourself out of this bed."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1401.5,"endTime":1406.24,"body":"Because it's so heartbreaking."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1401.5,"endTime":1406.24,"body":"Tell me how you feel. Tell me"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1406.24,"endTime":1409.0,"body":"all the things that you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1406.24,"endTime":1409.0,"body":"feeling right now. I know I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1409.0,"endTime":1413.47,"body":"sound like a counselor, as I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1409.0,"endTime":1413.47,"body":"saying this. But I think that it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1413.47,"endTime":1416.68,"body":"is really important that we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1413.47,"endTime":1416.68,"body":"learn how to like acknowledge"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1416.68,"endTime":1421.6299999999999,"body":"and respond and engage with our"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1416.68,"endTime":1421.6299999999999,"body":"children and teenagers,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1421.6299999999999,"endTime":1426.55,"body":"particularly, that we can sit"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1421.6299999999999,"endTime":1426.55,"body":"and be fully present with them"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1426.55,"endTime":1431.29,"body":"without trying to rescue. But"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1426.55,"endTime":1431.29,"body":"just to sit and reassure through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1431.29,"endTime":1436.3899999999999,"body":"our presence, and acknowledging"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1431.29,"endTime":1436.3899999999999,"body":"the pain that they feel. Because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1436.93,"endTime":1439.81,"body":"they don't you talked about time"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1436.93,"endTime":1439.81,"body":"earlier, Courtney, they don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1439.81,"endTime":1442.1499999999999,"body":"know what the future is, like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1439.81,"endTime":1442.1499999999999,"body":"we're sitting here, you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1442.1499999999999,"endTime":1445.99,"body":"and we have the reassurance of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1442.1499999999999,"endTime":1445.99,"body":"experience in time. But an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1445.99,"endTime":1448.45,"body":"adolescent doesn't. That's all"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1445.99,"endTime":1448.45,"body":"they know."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1449.2,"endTime":1452.56,"body":"They don't get"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1449.2,"endTime":1452.56,"body":"it. And it's not their fault. I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1452.56,"endTime":1455.23,"body":"remember High School felt like"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1452.56,"endTime":1455.23,"body":"forever, each year got a little"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1455.23,"endTime":1458.44,"body":"faster. College kind of felt the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1455.23,"endTime":1458.44,"body":"same. And then I got into"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1458.44,"endTime":1462.7,"body":"adulthood. And I'm on autopilot,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1458.44,"endTime":1462.7,"body":"wondering where the last? I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1462.7,"endTime":1464.5,"body":"don't know, seven years went."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1466.0,"endTime":1469.51,"body":"Exactly, exactly."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1466.0,"endTime":1469.51,"body":"So I think if we can practice"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1469.51,"endTime":1474.07,"body":"that acknowledging, responding,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1469.51,"endTime":1474.07,"body":"engaging, being fully present,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1475.06,"endTime":1478.93,"body":"helping our kids to I say kids"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1475.06,"endTime":1478.93,"body":"as offspring, because I don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1478.93,"endTime":1483.16,"body":"care if they're 10 or 15, or 19."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1478.93,"endTime":1483.16,"body":"I think it's the same deal, what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1483.16,"endTime":1487.1499999999999,"body":"you're talking about, which is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1483.16,"endTime":1487.1499999999999,"body":"allow them to express them and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1487.1499999999999,"endTime":1490.48,"body":"encourage them to express how"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1487.1499999999999,"endTime":1490.48,"body":"they feel. Which brings me"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1490.51,"endTime":1491.32,"body":"sorry, go ahead."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1491.74,"endTime":1493.81,"body":"I was gonna say"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1491.74,"endTime":1493.81,"body":"that tug of war, you know,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1493.81,"endTime":1496.57,"body":"earlier, we were chatting about"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1493.81,"endTime":1496.57,"body":"how it's extremely difficult for"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1496.57,"endTime":1500.59,"body":"parents, when adolescents start"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1496.57,"endTime":1500.59,"body":"to become independent begin to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1500.59,"endTime":1504.37,"body":"express themselves in ways that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1500.59,"endTime":1504.37,"body":"we don't recognize, and we"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1504.37,"endTime":1507.49,"body":"wonder why they stopped telling"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1504.37,"endTime":1507.49,"body":"us things and it's because they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1507.49,"endTime":1509.8899999999999,"body":"probably don't want to hear that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1507.49,"endTime":1509.8899999999999,"body":"it's okay, or it gets better"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1509.8899999999999,"endTime":1515.1399999999999,"body":"with time. That's right. So"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1509.8899999999999,"endTime":1515.1399999999999,"body":"let's practice I'm so sorry."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1516.1,"endTime":1520.57,"body":"Yeah, and sitting. If all else"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1516.1,"endTime":1520.57,"body":"fails, just sit with them."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1520.93,"endTime":1524.35,"body":"That's right. You can't fix it."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1520.93,"endTime":1524.35,"body":"Only person who can fix it as"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1524.35,"endTime":1525.61,"body":"Johnny who broke her heart."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1527.08,"endTime":1529.78,"body":"You know the other"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1527.08,"endTime":1529.78,"body":"part To Courtney's that kids"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1529.78,"endTime":1534.1299999999999,"body":"have the right to struggle. If"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1529.78,"endTime":1534.1299999999999,"body":"if they can't find their way"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1534.1299999999999,"endTime":1537.58,"body":"through struggle, it's going to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1534.1299999999999,"endTime":1537.58,"body":"be really tough later on. And by"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1537.61,"endTime":1542.92,"body":"by finding their way, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1537.61,"endTime":1542.92,"body":"sitting with the discomfort, we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1542.92,"endTime":1547.18,"body":"have a low tolerance for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1542.92,"endTime":1547.18,"body":"discomfort. Absolutely. As"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1547.18,"endTime":1551.59,"body":"parents, it's heartbreaking to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1547.18,"endTime":1551.59,"body":"watch. And I know I, gosh, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1551.59,"endTime":1555.07,"body":"remember going through similar"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1551.59,"endTime":1555.07,"body":"things with my children, and it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1555.07,"endTime":1561.34,"body":"killed me. But you have to give"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1555.07,"endTime":1561.34,"body":"them the right to struggle. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1561.34,"endTime":1564.91,"body":"that's how they're going to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1561.34,"endTime":1564.91,"body":"learn. And when you instill the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1564.91,"endTime":1568.0,"body":"confidence that they're going to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1564.91,"endTime":1568.0,"body":"find their way out of this, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1568.0,"endTime":1570.85,"body":"you're going to be right there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1568.0,"endTime":1570.85,"body":"with them. That's a huge gift."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1571.03,"endTime":1572.08,"body":"Shy slightly."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1572.47,"endTime":1574.3,"body":"And I don't"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1572.47,"endTime":1574.3,"body":"think people realize how deep"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1574.3,"endTime":1576.55,"body":"this actually runs, you know,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1574.3,"endTime":1576.55,"body":"we're talking about pretty"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1576.55,"endTime":1580.3899999999999,"body":"outward examples that exist for"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1576.55,"endTime":1580.3899999999999,"body":"everyone. But society really"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1580.3899999999999,"endTime":1583.66,"body":"plays into this idea of"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1580.3899999999999,"endTime":1583.66,"body":"protecting children. And an"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1583.66,"endTime":1586.21,"body":"example I can think of, we've"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1583.66,"endTime":1586.21,"body":"probably chatted about this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1586.21,"endTime":1590.53,"body":"before, but one of my SMU"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1586.21,"endTime":1590.53,"body":"professors mentioned a story"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1590.53,"endTime":1594.49,"body":"about a third grader, she was"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1590.53,"endTime":1594.49,"body":"having counseling and his dad"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1594.49,"endTime":1597.73,"body":"had died. And when his dad died,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1594.49,"endTime":1597.73,"body":"everyone had said, I'm so sorry,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1597.73,"endTime":1602.02,"body":"your dad passed away. So sorry"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1597.73,"endTime":1602.02,"body":"for your loss. So sorry, he's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1602.02,"endTime":1605.26,"body":"passed on. And that year, he"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1602.02,"endTime":1605.26,"body":"actually passed the tax test or"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1605.26,"endTime":1608.59,"body":"the STAR test, whatever it was,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1605.26,"endTime":1608.59,"body":"during that time, he flips back"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1608.59,"endTime":1615.01,"body":"and forth. And when he passed"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1608.59,"endTime":1615.01,"body":"the room, so excited,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1615.01,"endTime":1617.59,"body":"congratulations, you passed the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1615.01,"endTime":1617.59,"body":"tax test, you get to go into the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1617.59,"endTime":1620.17,"body":"fourth grade. He said, I don't"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1617.59,"endTime":1620.17,"body":"want to go like I don't want to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1620.17,"endTime":1623.44,"body":"go. Teachers, parents, or what"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1620.17,"endTime":1623.44,"body":"do you mean, you don't want to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1623.44,"endTime":1627.76,"body":"go? He said, I don't want to not"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1623.44,"endTime":1627.76,"body":"see anyone I love ever again. It"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1627.76,"endTime":1630.94,"body":"goes as deep as we can't even"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1627.76,"endTime":1630.94,"body":"say I'm so sorry, your dad died."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1632.47,"endTime":1635.83,"body":"We have to shelter it as passed"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1632.47,"endTime":1635.83,"body":"away. And it's not because it"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1635.83,"endTime":1638.17,"body":"makes the kid uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1635.83,"endTime":1638.17,"body":"It's because it makes us"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1638.17,"endTime":1638.98,"body":"uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1639.01,"endTime":1641.98,"body":"That's right."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1639.01,"endTime":1641.98,"body":"That's right, exactly. This"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1641.98,"endTime":1648.04,"body":"brings me to another important"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1641.98,"endTime":1648.04,"body":"question. How do you know? Or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1648.04,"endTime":1653.11,"body":"what are the signs that parents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1648.04,"endTime":1653.11,"body":"should look for? When teens"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1653.11,"endTime":1659.95,"body":"suffered depression, anxiety?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1653.11,"endTime":1659.95,"body":"Some some reason why they should"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1659.95,"endTime":1663.82,"body":"probably seek out counseling. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1659.95,"endTime":1663.82,"body":"think it can be hard because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1663.82,"endTime":1667.18,"body":"teens don't necessarily present"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1663.82,"endTime":1667.18,"body":"with depression, for example,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1667.18,"endTime":1670.24,"body":"the way adults will. I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1667.18,"endTime":1670.24,"body":"wondering if we can give our"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1670.24,"endTime":1673.99,"body":"listeners some information about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1670.24,"endTime":1673.99,"body":"what to watch for."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1674.59,"endTime":1676.09,"body":"Yeah, and this"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1674.59,"endTime":1676.09,"body":"is where it becomes scary,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1676.09,"endTime":1678.7,"body":"because regardless of it being"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1676.09,"endTime":1678.7,"body":"an adolescent, you're right. It"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1678.7,"endTime":1682.18,"body":"does present differently. But"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1678.7,"endTime":1682.18,"body":"what's so important to remember"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1682.18,"endTime":1684.52,"body":"is depression, anxiety, it"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1682.18,"endTime":1684.52,"body":"presents differently for"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1684.52,"endTime":1687.85,"body":"everyone. And sometimes the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1684.52,"endTime":1687.85,"body":"scariest ones. This the scariest"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1688.12,"endTime":1691.81,"body":"people I've met with depression,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1688.12,"endTime":1691.81,"body":"or suicidality? Suicidal"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1691.81,"endTime":1696.49,"body":"thoughts are the ones who seem"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1691.81,"endTime":1696.49,"body":"to have at all. So you really"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1696.49,"endTime":1700.3,"body":"have to be paying attention. But"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1696.49,"endTime":1700.3,"body":"I think the big things to know,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1700.3,"endTime":1703.45,"body":"you know, often reports of teen"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1700.3,"endTime":1703.45,"body":"is in the room all the time."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1703.51,"endTime":1707.56,"body":"Okay, that's an isolated thing."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1703.51,"endTime":1707.56,"body":"What else is going on? What are"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1707.56,"endTime":1710.35,"body":"the grades look like? Are they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1707.56,"endTime":1710.35,"body":"persistent with what it's looked"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1710.35,"endTime":1715.3,"body":"like throughout time? Or do we"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1710.35,"endTime":1715.3,"body":"have sudden drops in grades?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1715.36,"endTime":1718.84,"body":"What's hygiene? I can't tell you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1715.36,"endTime":1718.84,"body":"how many parents I've had come"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1718.84,"endTime":1721.27,"body":"in, and I find out they're in"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1718.84,"endTime":1721.27,"body":"the room all the time. That's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1721.3,"endTime":1723.67,"body":"pretty much all I know. And then"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1721.3,"endTime":1723.67,"body":"I get to meet the kid. And after"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1723.67,"endTime":1727.69,"body":"a few sessions, I start to ask,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1723.67,"endTime":1727.69,"body":"how often are you showering?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1727.75,"endTime":1732.6399999999999,"body":"Maybe twice a week? That's a"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1727.75,"endTime":1732.6399999999999,"body":"huge indication to me. Yes. How"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1732.76,"endTime":1738.3999999999999,"body":"are we brushing our teeth? You"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1732.76,"endTime":1738.3999999999999,"body":"know, not having the motivation"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1738.3999999999999,"endTime":1741.16,"body":"to go to school? Again,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1738.3999999999999,"endTime":1741.16,"body":"differences in their social"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1741.16,"endTime":1745.78,"body":"behavior? Are they isolating"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1741.16,"endTime":1745.78,"body":"from friends, and I, you know,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1745.78,"endTime":1749.41,"body":"some people are more into the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1745.78,"endTime":1749.41,"body":"internet and online friends. And"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1749.44,"endTime":1751.21,"body":"that might have been something"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1749.44,"endTime":1751.21,"body":"that was normal for them"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1751.21,"endTime":1753.46,"body":"throughout time. But it's also"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1751.21,"endTime":1753.46,"body":"super important to get that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1753.46,"endTime":1756.1299999999999,"body":"social interaction in person."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1756.3999999999999,"endTime":1758.83,"body":"Right? So I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1756.3999999999999,"endTime":1758.83,"body":"what you're saying is, when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1758.83,"endTime":1762.37,"body":"there's a change in baseline"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1758.83,"endTime":1762.37,"body":"behavior, when there's a change"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1762.37,"endTime":1766.51,"body":"in baseline habits or routines,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1762.37,"endTime":1766.51,"body":"if there's changes in eating"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1766.51,"endTime":1771.94,"body":"patterns, sleep patterns, really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1766.51,"endTime":1771.94,"body":"tough to get out of bed more"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1771.94,"endTime":1775.84,"body":"than normal, because we know"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1771.94,"endTime":1775.84,"body":"that teens have a different, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1775.84,"endTime":1779.68,"body":"know, circadian rhythm or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1775.84,"endTime":1779.68,"body":"whatever it is, right? They'll"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1779.68,"endTime":1783.73,"body":"stay up late and they sleep in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1779.68,"endTime":1783.73,"body":"that's normal team behavior. But"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1783.73,"endTime":1789.28,"body":"when you notice, changes, a teen"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1783.73,"endTime":1789.28,"body":"who likes to spend a lot of time"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1789.28,"endTime":1792.79,"body":"in their room, but is spending"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1789.28,"endTime":1792.79,"body":"exponentially more time in their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1792.79,"endTime":1799.42,"body":"room. Those kinds of things,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1792.79,"endTime":1799.42,"body":"then it's worth being curious."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1799.48,"endTime":1803.41,"body":"You have to be curious and and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1799.48,"endTime":1803.41,"body":"see, is this something to worry"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1803.41,"endTime":1806.68,"body":"about? Is there something else"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1803.41,"endTime":1806.68,"body":"going on? But you're quite right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1806.68,"endTime":1810.94,"body":"when you see changes in grades"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1806.68,"endTime":1810.94,"body":"and what is what you understand"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1810.94,"endTime":1815.56,"body":"to be their normal behavior, or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1810.94,"endTime":1815.56,"body":"routine, then it's worth"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1815.56,"endTime":1818.23,"body":"checking out and asking what's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1815.56,"endTime":1818.23,"body":"going on?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1818.56,"endTime":1820.45,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1818.56,"endTime":1820.45,"body":"absolutely. Eating habits. Also"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1820.45,"endTime":1822.58,"body":"something really important to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1820.45,"endTime":1822.58,"body":"mention and I know it's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1822.58,"endTime":1826.3899999999999,"body":"difficult because your kids are"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1822.58,"endTime":1826.3899999999999,"body":"gone a lot of the time. So you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1826.3899999999999,"endTime":1828.25,"body":"don't know if they're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1826.3899999999999,"endTime":1828.25,"body":"necessarily eating at school."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1828.28,"endTime":1833.32,"body":"Rule. Yeah, absolutely all"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1828.28,"endTime":1833.32,"body":"things that need to be looked"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1833.32,"endTime":1836.6499999999999,"body":"into. And I think so often"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1833.32,"endTime":1836.6499999999999,"body":"parents become scared of their"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1836.6499999999999,"endTime":1838.93,"body":"children, you know, especially"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1836.6499999999999,"endTime":1838.93,"body":"if they've had depressive like"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1838.93,"endTime":1842.92,"body":"symptoms, I hear that a lot of"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1838.93,"endTime":1842.92,"body":"kids who have suffered with"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1842.92,"endTime":1845.35,"body":"depression or are currently"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1842.92,"endTime":1845.35,"body":"suffering with depression,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1845.53,"endTime":1849.37,"body":"parents are afraid to give"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1845.53,"endTime":1849.37,"body":"consequences, they're afraid to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1849.37,"endTime":1852.82,"body":"say you need to come out of your"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1849.37,"endTime":1852.82,"body":"room. But the truth is, is that,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1852.85,"endTime":1856.84,"body":"again, kids don't have the brain"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1852.85,"endTime":1856.84,"body":"development to make these"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1856.84,"endTime":1859.99,"body":"conscious choices. So if you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1856.84,"endTime":1859.99,"body":"have someone who's suffering"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1859.99,"endTime":1863.11,"body":"from major depressive disorder,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1859.99,"endTime":1863.11,"body":"it is extremely difficult for"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1863.11,"endTime":1866.83,"body":"them to get out of bed. But it"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1863.11,"endTime":1866.83,"body":"is imperative that they get out,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1866.86,"endTime":1870.7,"body":"they walk for 10 minutes, walk"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1866.86,"endTime":1870.7,"body":"down a block, doing an opposite"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1870.7,"endTime":1873.6399999999999,"body":"action to what they're usually"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1870.7,"endTime":1873.6399999999999,"body":"doing, right? Even if it creates"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1873.6399999999999,"endTime":1877.66,"body":"a fight in the household, it is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1873.6399999999999,"endTime":1877.66,"body":"not your job to be their friend,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1877.66,"endTime":1879.3999999999999,"body":"it is your job to be their"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1877.66,"endTime":1879.3999999999999,"body":"parent, and sometimes they're"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1879.3999999999999,"endTime":1881.59,"body":"not gonna like you. And that's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1879.3999999999999,"endTime":1881.59,"body":"okay. What I can tell you is"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1881.59,"endTime":1882.97,"body":"they'll appreciate you in the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1881.59,"endTime":1882.97,"body":"end."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1883.51,"endTime":1885.91,"body":"Well, they may,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1883.51,"endTime":1885.91,"body":"they may not like you, but they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1885.91,"endTime":1892.03,"body":"will love you, for 100%. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1885.91,"endTime":1892.03,"body":"they can't, you know, you can't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1892.03,"endTime":1895.96,"body":"find the comb when it's in your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1892.03,"endTime":1895.96,"body":"hair. So when you're in the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1895.96,"endTime":1900.73,"body":"middle of a situation like that,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1895.96,"endTime":1900.73,"body":"I think, and correct me if I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1900.73,"endTime":1903.7,"body":"wrong, Courtney, in your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1900.73,"endTime":1903.7,"body":"experience, but when you have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1903.7,"endTime":1907.6,"body":"teens who are suffering from"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1903.7,"endTime":1907.6,"body":"high levels of anxiety, or major"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1907.6,"endTime":1912.19,"body":"depressive disorder, or even the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1907.6,"endTime":1912.19,"body":"grief of a breakup that's really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1912.19,"endTime":1918.1299999999999,"body":"knocked them down, knowing that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1912.19,"endTime":1918.1299999999999,"body":"someone else can provide some"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1918.1299999999999,"endTime":1922.09,"body":"structure and calmly say, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1918.1299999999999,"endTime":1922.09,"body":"this is what we're doing today."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1922.27,"endTime":1924.73,"body":"I know you don't feel like it."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1922.27,"endTime":1924.73,"body":"But this is what we're going to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1924.73,"endTime":1927.79,"body":"do today. And then you can do"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1924.73,"endTime":1927.79,"body":"what you want someone else who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1927.79,"endTime":1931.21,"body":"will take charge can actually be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1927.79,"endTime":1931.21,"body":"quite comforting. And I when I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1931.21,"endTime":1935.11,"body":"say take take charge, I don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1931.21,"endTime":1935.11,"body":"mean in a drill sergeant"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1935.11,"endTime":1938.29,"body":"fashion, but just what you've"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1935.11,"endTime":1938.29,"body":"described, we're going to go for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1938.29,"endTime":1942.22,"body":"a walk today. 10 minutes, that's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1938.29,"endTime":1942.22,"body":"all I need 10 minutes, and we're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1942.22,"endTime":1947.02,"body":"going to do it. And yes, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1942.22,"endTime":1947.02,"body":"know, that's part of, of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1948.46,"endTime":1951.67,"body":"learning life skills, and how to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1948.46,"endTime":1951.67,"body":"help themselves and so on. But"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1951.67,"endTime":1954.1,"body":"they need to know that somebody"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1951.67,"endTime":1954.1,"body":"is in charge when they feel like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1954.1,"endTime":1955.3,"body":"they might be able to control."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1955.78,"endTime":1958.24,"body":"Right, because"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1955.78,"endTime":1958.24,"body":"development mentally they they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1958.24,"endTime":1962.02,"body":"can't, you know, I think about"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1958.24,"endTime":1962.02,"body":"me as a teenager, and I was on"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1962.02,"endTime":1964.66,"body":"my phone all the time, it was"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1962.02,"endTime":1964.66,"body":"hard to get off Snapchat, like"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1964.66,"endTime":1967.3899999999999,"body":"the classic, my parents saying"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1964.66,"endTime":1967.3899999999999,"body":"you're addicted to your phone."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1967.75,"endTime":1971.08,"body":"So I do think there needs to be"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1967.75,"endTime":1971.08,"body":"boundaries around these things."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1971.23,"endTime":1976.24,"body":"I think it's okay for most kids,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1971.23,"endTime":1976.24,"body":"let's say, in 10th grade, your"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1976.24,"endTime":1980.3799999999999,"body":"phone goes up at 1030 and 11th"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1976.24,"endTime":1980.3799999999999,"body":"grade, your phone goes at 11/12"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1980.3799999999999,"endTime":1982.69,"body":"grade, maybe that's when they"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1980.3799999999999,"endTime":1982.69,"body":"get to start making the choice"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1982.69,"endTime":1987.76,"body":"for themselves. I do think it's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1982.69,"endTime":1987.76,"body":"appropriate to have these"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1987.76,"endTime":1990.43,"body":"conversations with your kids to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1987.76,"endTime":1990.43,"body":"cut off the internet at those"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1990.43,"endTime":1994.24,"body":"times, because having adequate"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1990.43,"endTime":1994.24,"body":"sleep is a huge factor. That's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1994.24,"endTime":1996.61,"body":"one of the first things I asked"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1994.24,"endTime":1996.61,"body":"about when I get someone who's"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1996.61,"endTime":2000.1499999999999,"body":"depressed sitting on the couch"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":1996.61,"endTime":2000.1499999999999,"body":"in my office. And one of the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2000.1499999999999,"endTime":2003.12,"body":"first things to go. And teens"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2000.1499999999999,"endTime":2003.12,"body":"are like, Oh, I can't believe"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2003.12,"endTime":2006.06,"body":"you're having my parents do"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2003.12,"endTime":2006.06,"body":"this. And three weeks later,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2006.06,"endTime":2010.86,"body":"they're like I can sky is blue"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2006.06,"endTime":2010.86,"body":"again. Because I couldn't make"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2010.86,"endTime":2014.52,"body":"the choice to put my phone away"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2010.86,"endTime":2014.52,"body":"at night. And I remember laying"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2014.52,"endTime":2017.07,"body":"in bed on my phone all the time."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2014.52,"endTime":2017.07,"body":"And now if I wake up in the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2017.07,"endTime":2019.62,"body":"middle of the night, I have an"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2017.07,"endTime":2019.62,"body":"alarm clock that I sit up and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2019.62,"endTime":2023.1,"body":"look at instead of activating"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2019.62,"endTime":2023.1,"body":"the light on my phone, because I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2023.1,"endTime":2028.26,"body":"understand that not getting the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2023.1,"endTime":2028.26,"body":"appropriate sleep for me. It"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2028.26,"endTime":2030.36,"body":"doesn't just mess up tomorrow,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2028.26,"endTime":2030.36,"body":"it makes the rest of the week"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2030.36,"endTime":2031.17,"body":"more difficult."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2031.26,"endTime":2035.07,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2031.26,"endTime":2035.07,"body":"Absolutely. Can you share with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2035.07,"endTime":2037.92,"body":"our listeners how you work with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2035.07,"endTime":2037.92,"body":"teens and parents? Because I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2037.92,"endTime":2043.62,"body":"know you don't work with teens"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2037.92,"endTime":2043.62,"body":"in isolation. Parents are part"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2043.62,"endTime":2046.44,"body":"of the process as well. Can you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2043.62,"endTime":2046.44,"body":"just take us quickly through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2046.44,"endTime":2049.05,"body":"sort of how you work with both"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2046.44,"endTime":2049.05,"body":"groups?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2049.59,"endTime":2051.1800000000003,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2049.59,"endTime":2051.1800000000003,"body":"absolutely. So if it's a younger"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2051.1800000000003,"endTime":2053.79,"body":"adolescent, obviously, I'm"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2051.1800000000003,"endTime":2053.79,"body":"probably gonna see the parent a"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2053.79,"endTime":2060.6600000000003,"body":"little bit more often than maybe"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2053.79,"endTime":2060.6600000000003,"body":"a 16 or 17 year olds, I kind of"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2060.9,"endTime":2064.9500000000003,"body":"get parents idea about what"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2060.9,"endTime":2064.9500000000003,"body":"their involvement is and what"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2064.9500000000003,"endTime":2068.73,"body":"they would like it to be for 16"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2064.9500000000003,"endTime":2068.73,"body":"and 17 year olds, a lot of times"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2068.73,"endTime":2071.52,"body":"the 16 and 17 year olds are the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2068.73,"endTime":2071.52,"body":"ones wanting to go to therapy,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2071.52,"endTime":2076.59,"body":"not just being placed on couch"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2071.52,"endTime":2076.59,"body":"saying, fix this, right? Though"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2076.59,"endTime":2080.61,"body":"they're the a few of them that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2076.59,"endTime":2080.61,"body":"really 15 and younger is when I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2080.61,"endTime":2084.69,"body":"say, you know, I'll have the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2080.61,"endTime":2084.69,"body":"initial assessment with parents,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2084.69,"endTime":2087.36,"body":"I'll see the kid for three or"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2084.69,"endTime":2087.36,"body":"four sessions, depending on"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2087.36,"endTime":2090.6000000000004,"body":"whatever it is they have going"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2087.36,"endTime":2090.6000000000004,"body":"on. I can see the parent in"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2090.6000000000004,"endTime":2095.1000000000004,"body":"three sessions or four sessions."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2090.6000000000004,"endTime":2095.1000000000004,"body":"And sometimes it's just a kid"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2095.1000000000004,"endTime":2098.0400000000004,"body":"who wants to get counseling and"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2095.1000000000004,"endTime":2098.0400000000004,"body":"I think that's really cool. We"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2098.0400000000004,"endTime":2101.01,"body":"so often talk about physical"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2098.0400000000004,"endTime":2101.01,"body":"health going to the gym four or"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2101.01,"endTime":2106.05,"body":"five days a week, we think that"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2101.01,"endTime":2106.05,"body":"exercise the mind. You have to"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2106.05,"endTime":2107.0400000000004,"body":"be in crisis."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2107.94,"endTime":2110.07,"body":"That's right."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2107.94,"endTime":2110.07,"body":"People think their their hair"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2110.07,"endTime":2114.03,"body":"has to be on fire or the more"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2110.07,"endTime":2114.03,"body":"that there is, well, we don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2114.03,"endTime":2118.05,"body":"really have a problem. You don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2114.03,"endTime":2118.05,"body":"have to have a problem to come"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2118.05,"endTime":2121.17,"body":"into therapy. It can be a place"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2118.05,"endTime":2121.17,"body":"where you had a few tools to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2121.17,"endTime":2124.4100000000003,"body":"your belt and Bob's your uncle"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2121.17,"endTime":2124.4100000000003,"body":"and away you go. It doesn't have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2124.4100000000003,"endTime":2130.5600000000004,"body":"to be a huge crisis. but often"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2124.4100000000003,"endTime":2130.5600000000004,"body":"that's what happens when folks"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2130.5600000000004,"endTime":2133.77,"body":"come in. It's because there is a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2130.5600000000004,"endTime":2133.77,"body":"crisis. And I think particularly"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2133.77,"endTime":2138.21,"body":"with teens and parents, parents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2133.77,"endTime":2138.21,"body":"is particularly with that first"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2138.21,"endTime":2141.78,"body":"child. That's a whole. It's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2138.21,"endTime":2141.78,"body":"whole new world when you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2141.78,"endTime":2145.9500000000003,"body":"parenting a teen. And I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2141.78,"endTime":2145.9500000000003,"body":"it's wonderful that parents have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2145.9500000000003,"endTime":2151.6800000000003,"body":"someone like you, Courtney to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2145.9500000000003,"endTime":2151.6800000000003,"body":"consult with and to also get"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2151.6800000000003,"endTime":2157.0800000000004,"body":"grounded about how they can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2151.6800000000003,"endTime":2157.0800000000004,"body":"communicate with their team to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2157.0800000000004,"endTime":2163.23,"body":"reassure to normalize. And to to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2157.0800000000004,"endTime":2163.23,"body":"coach."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2163.71,"endTime":2166.6200000000003,"body":"Absolutely. I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2163.71,"endTime":2166.6200000000003,"body":"think, yeah, that's like, you"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2166.6200000000003,"endTime":2169.4700000000003,"body":"know, when you asked me earlier,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2166.6200000000003,"endTime":2169.4700000000003,"body":"I think that's a huge part of me"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2169.4700000000003,"endTime":2172.86,"body":"involving parents is, I"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2169.4700000000003,"endTime":2172.86,"body":"recognize it's not just the kid"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2172.86,"endTime":2175.92,"body":"who's sitting on the couch, but"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2172.86,"endTime":2175.92,"body":"I see them for an hour a week,"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2175.92,"endTime":2181.7400000000002,"body":"and I can give them coping"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2175.92,"endTime":2181.7400000000002,"body":"skills, I can help rewire things"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2181.7400000000002,"endTime":2185.76,"body":"in their brain by the"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2181.7400000000002,"endTime":2185.76,"body":"discussions that we have. But so"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2185.76,"endTime":2187.3500000000004,"body":"much has to change at home."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2188.19,"endTime":2190.8300000000004,"body":"That's right."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2188.19,"endTime":2190.8300000000004,"body":"Because they're the most that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2190.8300000000004,"endTime":2195.0600000000004,"body":"teen is part of the family"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2190.8300000000004,"endTime":2195.0600000000004,"body":"system. They not they're not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2195.0600000000004,"endTime":2200.61,"body":"growing up in isolation. It's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2195.0600000000004,"endTime":2200.61,"body":"whole family system. And parents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2200.61,"endTime":2204.6000000000004,"body":"are at the top of that system."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2200.61,"endTime":2204.6000000000004,"body":"Yes, sir. No, it's really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2204.6000000000004,"endTime":2207.3,"body":"important to get them involved."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2204.6000000000004,"endTime":2207.3,"body":"Courtney, this has been"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2207.3,"endTime":2211.65,"body":"wonderful. I hope our listeners"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2207.3,"endTime":2211.65,"body":"have come away from this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2211.65,"endTime":2216.48,"body":"podcast, having some helpful"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2211.65,"endTime":2216.48,"body":"tips. And also to know that what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2216.48,"endTime":2220.6800000000003,"body":"they're experiencing at home,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2216.48,"endTime":2220.6800000000003,"body":"you know, is normal and and when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2220.6800000000003,"endTime":2225.03,"body":"it's not, we're there we are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2220.6800000000003,"endTime":2225.03,"body":"here we are here and and folks"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2225.03,"endTime":2231.27,"body":"can reach out to us at the mop"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2225.03,"endTime":2231.27,"body":"for group.com. And we'd be happy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2231.27,"endTime":2235.8900000000003,"body":"to to answer any questions,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2231.27,"endTime":2235.8900000000003,"body":"suggestions, and they can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2235.8900000000003,"endTime":2238.5,"body":"schedule right online. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2235.8900000000003,"endTime":2238.5,"body":"Courtney, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2238.5,"endTime":2242.0400000000004,"body":"your time today. This was really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2238.5,"endTime":2242.0400000000004,"body":"fun. Are you seeing so P Are you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2242.0400000000004,"endTime":2243.0,"body":"still feeling nervous?"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2243.0,"endTime":2245.25,"body":"Are you not at"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2243.0,"endTime":2245.25,"body":"all? I can't wait to do the next"},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2245.25,"endTime":2245.55,"body":"one."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2247.2000000000003,"endTime":2249.75,"body":"All right. Well,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2247.2000000000003,"endTime":2249.75,"body":"thanks so much for joining me"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2249.75,"endTime":2251.13,"body":"today. It's really been fun."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2251.46,"endTime":2253.38,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Courtney Strull","startTime":2251.46,"endTime":2253.38,"body":"We'll see you Monday."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2253.4700000000003,"endTime":2254.3100000000004,"body":"Okay."}]}