89 - Gina Short - Long Covid Recovery

Episode 89 of the Long Covid Podcast is a chat with Gina Short about her recovery from Long Covid. We chat through the things that helped as well as what she has learned from her experience.

Suzy Bolt Rest Repair program

The Fern Programme

Stasis Breathing

Books mentioned: The Way Out, Cured, Breaking Free

For more information about Long Covid Breathing, their courses, workshops & other shorter sessions, please check out this link

(music - Brock Hewitt, Rule of Life)

Transcript

Jackie Baxter
Hello, and welcome to this episode of the long COVID Podcast. I am delighted to welcome my guest tonight, Gina Short, who has come along this evening to share her recovery story. So I am super excited to dive into this - a very warm welcome to the podcast.

Gina Short
Sure. Thanks, Jackie. Thanks for having me on the program here. Definitely heard a lot of other stories and that you've interviewed other folks. And it's definitely inspiring, so glad I can be at this point to share my story.

Jackie Baxter  
So to begin with, would you mind just saying a little about yourself and maybe your life before COVID?

Gina Short  
So is a definitely an active outdoor enthusiast. Mom, a wife, had a career through the years and something that I've always loved as far as like my personality, is just being outdoors, definitely inspired, you know, to do creative things. And so I was always on the go. 

So I'd say my life pre-COVID really was something that I was, you know, worked full time, had a full time job and then came home, was a full time mom, squeezing a little bit for myself in that day, but definitely, it's something that as I look back, I sometimes wonder how I lived that pace that I did, when I look back at my life just because it was so busy. But I love I mean, loved every part of it. But I definitely was one that was also always multitasking, and really living every moment to its fullest.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, totally. I can totally resonate with that. Looking back to my pre COVID life. It's like I feel exhausted just thinking about all of the things I was doing.

Gina Short  
Yeah, yeah, definitely relate to that.

Jackie Baxter  
So yeah, would you mind just talking a little bit about how your kind of initial illness kind of played out?

Gina Short  
Yeah, It was in summer in July of 2021. And so it was an outdoor party where we were celebrating my mother's 80th birthday and out of our 24 guests, and we were vaccinated at the time, but over half of us became ill with COVID. And so at that time, it was my husband and my youngest son, who was eight at the time, that we all came down with COVID. And somehow my 16 year old survived a household of us, especially, you know, being around so we didn't expect it at the time. 

We didn't feel great, felt pretty, pretty sick at the time, most of us kind of bed bound, house bound in those days. But my husband and son recovered. And I would say I generally recovered. I mean, we were you know, I felt pretty, pretty bad - didn't go to the ER though and did have shortness of breath, but nothing so severe that we couldn't handle. And then out of that, as they rebounded, I felt okay, but never great. 

And so it was in that period of time, where just it just lingered, especially my shortness of breath was really problematic, where it was hard for me to talk or breathe at times, especially reading out loud a story to my son. But I felt okay, and just continued to push on. Because of course, like every week, I would say, of course, I'm gonna get better next week, like why wouldn't I? Right? So I just kept continued to kind of do what I knew best is just kind of push through this and just thinking I would recover week after week.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it. And the kind of narrative, certainly from the beginning, was that unless you were in certain cohorts of people, you know, sort of underlying health conditions or older, you were going to be fine. So you know, you would be sick for like a week, and then you would be good. And that was what I was told. So when I didn't recover, I was really surprised.

Gina Short  
What was kind of the interesting thing, because if I look at in my worst, my symptoms were completely different than what I had at the onset. And I've heard that from several other people. I was continuing to work full time in those first few months. And it was really about month three, month four, I was just like, I was so exhausted that I was working. And then I would get back into calls. And then by the end of the day, I was so exhausted, I had nothing left, I was laying down, I had headaches, I was dizzy, couldn't join my family for dinner. 

And so at that point, I'm like, I need to stop, I need to rest. And so it's in that time period where I said I really, I'm really ill, like I need to do something and you know, about a month three or four. So I'd have the time off and that's where I would just continue to go downhill. So my symptoms became more neurological. A lot of them still remained, I still kind of had the shortness of breath and other things. But to the point where I had just tremors, I could just feel just kind of a shakiness in my body, just adrenaline surges. My heart rate with doing nothing at all would surge to 160 and like what the heck, I'm just just preparing putting my shoes to go on a walk. I shouldn't be like this anymore. You know, I used to run I used to hike and do active things. 

And so it was really in that kind of three month three or four where I would say I was at my worst, symptom wise, and those played out for a while, you know? Those is I would say it was really where it became more debilitating for me. And in that period as wel, you know, life just looked much different. I was at a point where I was just bed bound. And, you know, I knew that I'm an active person. And being in bed and you know, I would never rest before and I took like, two, three naps a year cos I didn't need to rest, and I didn't nap in the day. But it was in that period where it's like, okay, I took time off. So I was trying to think, Okay, if I just sleep it off, I'll be back in a couple weeks, I'll be back at work, I can just resume my old life in a couple of weeks if I just had some time to rest. 

But that didn't happen for me, I just the more a rested I was just exhausted. And so I ended up, you know, from my capabilities, I wasn't leaving the house, I was in bed, I went from bed to couch and kind of got up, but kind of that just really didn't get out. I didn't, you know, stop going outside. And you know, I love love the outdoors. So it was just really a life a lot different. Where not having enough energy to cook, you know, even feed myself, showered only every few days. 

But I think in that the kind of the deepest stages of kind of that month, four or five, for me was also just the emotional toll. I started to believe, Oh, my goodness, I'm gonna have this forever. And so I think after a while, you just start believing it, because I just remember like, okay, if I'm gonna have it and just trying to be realistic, this is then my new life, I have to adjust, if this is how it's going to be, I have to learn how to live with this. And so it was hard. You know, I remember just cry, you know, put moments of like shower and just crying and crying it out a lot. Because you just like, oh my gosh, why am I feeling this way, and you don't understand it. So I think a lot in that kind of the hardest periods for me was kind of in that month, kind of at my lowest when I really just didn't have enough energy to take care of myself.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, I mean, it's it's brutal. I mean, obviously, physically, it's absolutely horrendous. But I think a lot of people maybe don't quite understand the mental toll of it. I think certainly for me, it was always to start with, well, this is absolutely awful. But you know, maybe it'll be better in two weeks, maybe it'll be better in another month, you know, and someone was saying six months, and I thought, Oh, my goodness, that's forever, but at least that's a time, you know, in six months, I'll be better. And then you know, as these milestones would pass, then you would start to get more and more down about it. 

And you know, as you maybe started getting, I had a lot of the sort of fluctuations of symptoms. So I'd have a slightly better week, and I'd think, Oh, great, well, everything's gonna be fine. And then you'd hit another down. And it was the utter devastation of that, you know, hitting a bad patch after a good patch kind of thing. And it's, it's absolutely, it is devastating. I think it's about the right word, isn't it, you know, time and time and time again. 

And I think, you know, we call long COVID a kind of invisible illness, don't we? And I think it is very hard for someone to understand if they haven't actually experienced it. But I think you know, maybe the physical symptoms side of it, it's a bit easier to explain that maybe than the kind of utter devastation of the mental side of having to wonder if you're going to have to come to terms with this being your life forever. And that's just unthinkable isn't it? Almost.

Gina Short  
Yeah, absolutely. I think people you know, if you see somebody on crutches, like if I were, if I would have just walked with crutches, I would have probably had more success. But you know, I'm sitting here trying to walk to the mailbox, but I look just fine. And everything turns out on the medical side, that everything's okay, your blood works fine, you know, all your vitals are fine. And so understanding why you're feeling literally so crummy, like, I felt like - I explained it this way to family like, and I probably just didn't look my best I knew I had lost weight and just didn't have the energy level. But in those stages, you know, I just felt like crummiest I ever had, and I would just explain it feel like, completely hung over. And somebody put me on a flight and I just flew halfway around the world, like you just feel like that all the time on the inside. And it's hard to explain that. Because I've never experienced something like that, where you just feel so crummy day in and day out. 

And for me, it was just kind of just long drawn, I had some moments, but it was more just this kind of day after day, feeling like this where I was ending up so sore from being in bed, and I knew, that was for me, kind of the trigger point is, I am starting to get sore and achy from laying around too much. And I knew I had to change but I think it's hard because in those timeframes too, you're looking at everything in the news, you're trying to understand what the heck is happening, what is out there, and it was definitely putting my brain in high alert, looking at everything out there, trying to find answers, but I would have done anything. I would have paid anything gone anywhere in the world, you know, to figure out treatment, but there just wasn't a lot out there. And that's even still in you know, 2021 a year after COVID and just trying to understand what was happening.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, and it's really interesting what you just said about the kind of putting your brain on high alert thing because, you know, there was horrendous stuff. And I mean, there's always horrendous stuff in the news. But you know, at the time, it was all COVID. And obviously, you must have known that, you know, this COVID was what had happened to you. So you were had that on top, but at the same time, how could we not? Because like you say, we just wanted to find answers, we wanted to find something that would help. And in order to do that, you have to dive into that cesspit, don't you? So it's like, how can I look for answers and try to find things that will help, without getting badly affected by what you're reading? And I suppose you can't, can you? You've got to dive in there and try to find something to hold on to

Gina Short  
You can, but it's mixed, like, Yeah, you really you have mixed things, and then a lot of negative comments also to feed upon, you know, certain treatments or options or what's happening. So it's hard, because I do think part of it is education, understanding from others. I think when you see the part for me, when I started to see some positive stories of people that have recovered, and just knowing that it was possible, that that for me, gave me hope in those time periods. 

I was so sore. And what kind of led me to thinking about treatments or even recovery in a different way, is when I started to see Suzy Bolt and her community, because it was positive. I saw a lot of other communities that were just negative. And you did feel like you're gonna have this forever. I you know, it's almost like a resetting of your brain. And I think that's what I was going through is like, I felt like I was trying to reset saying, accept it. I was thinking, accept it. And then I have to live with this forever. And I'm just going to have to do my best and try to figure out how to kind of push through or, you know, have these symptoms, but just kind of ignore them. And so I think that for me, I was just ignoring them, thinking if I just push through and I'll be okay. 

But I couldn't figure out pacing, couldn't figure out, do I push through it? Do I ignore it? Or do I just lay in bed all day, like where's my happy medium here. So for me when I finally found gentle yoga. And that's I mean, that's all I could do. I remember, my whole body was just shaking from like this internal tremor. And I found Suzy's, it was 10 minutes of easy yoga stretching before bed. So I would do it at nighttime and eventually I'd sort of do it multiple times a day. And it was like the easiest laying down on your back type, gentle stretching, but that's what just gave me some hope and just movement in my body, again, just some stretching that it hadn't had. 

And when she said in the video, she would just say "this is temporary." And I was like Ha like, wow, okay. And I started to believe that like, okay, maybe it is right, because I think I'd lost hope that it would be temporary. And so that to me, just kind of gave me some hope and light and looking at some alternative options of like it Okay, believe that. But then, do I really believe it - sometimes I have a feeling and then what can I do about it?

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, I mean, it's amazing. You know, I remember just having this experience where I was like, right, well, I exercise my way through this, I push myself through this, I do all of the what we now know were completely the wrong things. But at the time, I didn't know anything else. And there was no alternative options. You know, it was kind of like, nobody's telling me anything. So I'm going to keep trying this. And being a stubborn person, I'm going to keep doing it more, because it didn't work the first time. So we'll do it more. 

And then when I found that one first thing, and for me, it was breathing. And for you, it was Suzy's yoga. And once you find that first thing - I just found it was like, it was like a light bulb. It was like once I tackled that, I was able to then start to see some of the other stuff that was going on underneath. But to start with there was just, there was so much like, how do you know where to start? Like you say, it's so difficult to find anything. There's so much doom and gloom out there. And you know, rightly so because everybody is so sick, and people need a place to vent. But the problem is, it's obviously really, really difficult to find any hope when all you're hearing is people talking about how bad everything is. And it's really difficult to find that balance, I think, isn't it?

Gina Short  
Absolutely. Yeah. And hearing just from the UK, I live in the United States. And so there wasn't that many people I knew that had it. And even to get into the doctor, it was like a four month wait to the long COVID clinic. So it was a really long wait to even find anybody else in my local area or any type of community. 

So for me when I finally found a community that was really something that made the difference of like, oh my gosh, other people are going through what I'm going through, didn't know to that degree what was out there. I'd seen or heard other things or you know, it's just on some of the other places and sources out there. They just weren't feeding me a positive message. And that's what I realized is like, at some point, once you educate yourself enough you also need to find and nurture where there's positivity and where there's people that can support you. And so that was a key piece for me in that stage of my journey.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, I think a big thing for me was going from this kind of, I have no idea what's going on, I don't know what to  do, everything is awful kind of thing, to a point where everything was still awful. But I was focusing on maybe what I can do, rather than what I can't. And that was a really big shift for me. Breathing, I can do that. And I have literal evidence that it works, that it helps, because I feel slightly better. And so it was like, right, okay, I've found a thing, I found something that I can grab on to, let's do this, kind of thing. And once you find something, it then makes you want to look for more, doesn't it? I think finding that first thing, maybe is really important.

Gina Short  
Absolutely. Yeah. And then I think that's the thing is just try - for me actually breath was also something in kind of in the parallel path, when I was starting to do the gentle yoga, I'd also look at breath. And I saw something around the stasis program. And so that was something that I had started, where I could finally feel, I mean, now even stronger than I was before. So that was something where when I was having such a hard time, just breathing or reading out loud to my son, that made a difference. And so that was something that I could just hold on to, and like, oh, it actually helped my breathing my breath. And it was very calming. And so that was something else. So that I started in connection with some of the gentle yoga because like you said, it's the one thing to start. And it did crave me learning and wanting more in the right direction. 

So I think that's also the other thing is I found is that once I found a community and a positive place for healing, I ended up joining the fern program, which is one of Suzy's programs, you know, for 12 people. So it's a smaller group program. And in there, I learned a lot more about mind body connection, you know, how to change my language, how to change my lens. And so from there, I started to trust myself to start to do, you know, small things of play again. And that's really for me where it grew. 

Because it was in that sense of like, every time I would exert myself, you know, I'd just be exhausted. I started to plan my crashes. And I hadn't realized that, but I was like, okay, in three days, I've got this event, let me see. And you know, in those some periods a couple of months, I wasn't even driving. So I couldn't even imagine going to the grocery store. And you know, right now I don't even give it a second thought. I'm like, Okay, let me do that. And, and, and like now, and I know some days are like, Okay, I'm gonna go to some event in a couple of days. Okay, and it's like, you almost start to pre plan your body to that, and then wonder, okay, if I do that, how am I going to be after, so I realized I was pre planning those crashes. 

And for me in about month six, I started to understand that - I understand how to pace and I understood that. At the time, it seemed really counterintuitive to me. But in order to get better, or in order to like, do more, have more energy, I actually needed to play more, and stop thinking about the task in the list. And the other thing that helped me and kind of like, what I would say it was really a spiral effect is that understanding that when you're in those moments of like, you know, just play and fun, especially connecting with others, you know, you're not thinking about all your symptoms, and you're in a place with healing. And I always thought that, you know, rest, okay, I need to sleep and at one point I was, I was like a baby, I was doing a morning nap, afternoon nap, maybe, you know, evening nap and then going, Okay, can I have dinner with my family? No, they're really loud. But you know, it was just like, I have two boys and so sometimes even just volume of the house, I was wearing earplugs like it was just a crazy experience. 

But when I finally started to trust know, okay, let me have some fun play time with them and do things that I remember as a kid. That to me is where I just started having fun again and play and you know, in doses - it's not like you go from zero to 100, but just in these small increments of like just starting to add things. For me that's really where I started to see healing happen, in connection with turning off the outside world. 

I turned off the other sources, I didn't look at news, I have a watch. It was tracking everything, looking at my heart rate every time I was walking, like oh my heart rate, my heart I'm like, Okay, I just I took it off. I just stripped myself from outside media. And I really felt like I was just able to be with the people that knew me best, supported me best and really stripped down my community to really a caring, caring set of friends and family around me, plus my long COVID community. 

So that was really something that I would say, as I started to add more, I was adding the right thing, but really fueling my soul, and kind of shutting off some of the outside world that didn't understand me and just realize that, you know, it's okay. They don't need to know that all that's happening right now. And it's okay. But those that do know me, understand me and will support me. 

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, I mean, it's almost like, you're finally allowing yourself to put yourself first, where you never really truthfully have before?

Gina Short  
Absolutely, yeah, just really prioritizing my care. I think before I thought, Okay, I'm prioritizing myself, I'll get a run in or I'll go for a workout. But that's, you know, an hour, 30 minutes to an hour a day. And that was not really prioritizing self care. For me, I was able to and thankful, you know, for the support of my family, was able to, you know, have care for the kids. So I could do the things in my own health and treatment to be able to do, you know, my outings, I think just change of scenery, you know, sort of the drive to the beach, I started to go on just a partial hikes - like I love to hike, and you know, but that time, I just would go to the trailhead, and sit in a different environment. It might not be, you know, I would just say a stroll, you know, probably walked some days, 200 yards, but it was a start of something. 

And over time that grew. And so I was able to just start things, even if you can't do it, 100%. And, you know, my advice would be like, just start something. But definitely the outdoors are just, I think, a place of healing, it was for me. So that was something that I look back, and I still do, I just started walking. I mean, that was something for me is like, no matter what, I started with sitting, you know, but I just slowly started certain things that I could do, that I felt like I could do them and I felt confident about and I think that's the biggest thing for the brain, is just like, yes, you know, I just felt confident that I could do these things.

Jackie Baxter  
I think something that it took me a while to realize as well, I mean, I'm like you, I'm a outdoor person, I need to be outdoors, like, all the time, like, I'll never be indoors without looking out the window going, I could be out there, the sun is shining. But I think, you know, a lot of the time to start with, you know, I was so unwell that, you know, I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do. And I couldn't climb mountains, I couldn't go for a run, I couldn't cycle where I wanted to go. And it was almost like because I couldn't do those things that I used to be able to do. I didn't want to do anything, you know, I could have maybe gone and sat outside the front door. But it was like, I don't want to do that. Because it will remind me of all the things that I could do before and can't anymore. 

But it took me quite a long time to kind of realize that it's the being outdoors that's important. I mean, yes, being able to exercise, yes, all these other things are important to me as well. But actually, what is it about that, and actually, in some ways, it's the being outdoors, it's the being somewhere nice. So you know, if I could get to the garden, if I could get to a beach, if I could get to a forest, actually just being there was better than nothing, it was better than being stuck in the house all day. So being able to do that some of the time, that was a bit of a revelation. I don't know, maybe I'm just a bit of an all or nothing kind of person.

Gina Short  
Go all in! I think what was important to me is like I didn't understand, you know, mindfulness at the time, and you can't force it. So what I realized is that I learned to appreciate how to be mindful without trying to be mindful. So that was something and I feel like I was leading a parallel path of also a lot of reading and education at that time, which was just fascinating to me about mind body connection. I've always been into sports and so that to me really resonated, as I understood the power of the mind and you know, belief and just really I've always pushed myself to the limits with my sports, yet I was a little bit like you like an all or nothing person. 

But when I went out you know, I started these especially in my walking, I drove what's probably a two minute walk, I drove there, I drove in the car, and I knew where that first bench was. That first bench was about probably a one minute walk and you know, probably about 100 meters down. I knew I had my sights on that, I knew I could get to that bench and sit. And I just really remembering that the going like okay everyone's thinking I'm really strange, like I was walking like so slow and but I made it there and I just sat for probably half hour and cried. I'm just like I made it here right, like I think it's in those moments where you think you have to do it all, but it's like just start with something. 

And for me over time I realized I just, and still even today I love just and I would call on my joy strolls. Like I would stroll and you know, and it was fine. I didn't care what pace, I didn't think about in advance what pace I was going to be, but I just started walking and I have some trails and woods behind my house and so I would just Start, and eventually then I created my joy mix, I would even dance a little bit when I walk, I know I'm a little crazy, but just some fun. I mean, I just needed some fun and play. And so I think in those moments, you realize that healing, you know, happens and for me I took it slow, but I just kept going and listen to my body. So some days were faster, some days were slower, but it really didn't matter, I just kept doing that. 

And then finding more fun things to do. I think, for me, that was a lot of the healing is that, you know, like, a lot of people with long COVID - I have two kids, and it can be really hard. And I think I was telling myself, Oh, it's hard, they're loud, it's, you know, it just certain, you know, I would say kind of the take that I had was that it was gonna be hard for me to care for them. Because I was still ill. Over time when I was able to change that language, you know, say, you know, I want to be a mom, again, I'm gonna go have fun, we're gonna go, you know, and, you know, play a board game, or watch funny videos, jump on the trampoline, or even just watching them do something, right. 

But in those moments, we just start laughing. And those were the real connection moments where I'm like, Okay, I'm starting to feel better and better. And I was able to add more and more of those moments over time. So I think that's the thing is like, I started, you know, just slow, but just started and kept going.

Jackie Baxter  
I think it's almost like it gives you an appreciation for the smaller things that maybe we wouldn't have noticed before. I find myself like looking at trees that are pretty, whereas before, I'd have been like, I want to get through the forest to get to the mountain. And now it's just like, hey, look at this really pretty forest that I would never have noticed before. But because I can't walk further than the forest, I get to look at it in more detail. And even now, as I'm doing better, I can walk through the forest. And I can go beyond that. But I'm still noticing some of those things that I would have noticed before. So you know, it's quite nice. 

But I think what's remarkable is, and this is something that I've kind of realized over time myself, is the body's capacity to heal. But you have to put it in the right environment in order for it to heal. And when I was - what I was doing to start with was pushing and pushing and pushing. So all my body was feeling was stress and stress and stress. And that is not the environment in which it's going to heal. 

And then when I realized actually what I needed to do was to cut out all that stress and give it some good stuff and you know, feed it the good things, whether it's breath or rest or good food or whatever it is for you. It actually is quite capable of doing a lot of things that you didn't realize that you could, but when all it's feeling is stress and awfulness and symptoms, because that's what we're feeling because we're so sick. It's really hard to kind of remember to do the good things.

Gina Short  
Oh it is, I think, being intentional about that. I think it's hard to remove yourself from certain you know, stress signals or you know, we all have stress in our life for various different reasons. And I think for me, really prioritizing my own self care allowed me the time I needed in that, you know time is one. But also just the power of a smile, right? the power of a hug, a power of connecting with somebody. I think at one point I was like well it still was hard in those early days, like I didn't want to be around big crowds. But when I was with smaller groups of people, right and that's just really you know, great connections that you could have with others. 

But it's the simple things you know, is a simple thing of like when I was at my worst my 16 year old would come home from school and I said Well just just no matter what even if I'm sleeping laying down, come in and give me a hug. So he'dcome in and give me a hug. And every day I said, just tell me I'm getting better. And that's what he did, he just everyday Mom You're getting better and then he almost started believing more than I did, like you're getting better, you're getting better. And now it's like he just continues to, you know, he was helping kind of reinforce that message for me in every day, no matter what, like coming in and just saying you're getting better mom. And so you start to believe. 

And I really think the power of the mind and is so strong and I think for me understanding - what am I filling it with, and what am I thinking - you know the power the thoughts. But what am I also filling my cup with each and every day? You know, for me I felt it was really healing from the inside out. I felt like I took the time I needed to kind of you know guard - I would say shield and kind of guard myself - and kind of play again and think about what is it like to be a kid again. Lay outside you know like gonna not just sit outside, but I mean I fall on lay on the grass now. I take a little run like - What do kids do? Like they kind of jump you know, go on a playground, like if I see a playground I'm gonna swing. Like I'm like, why not? Like why not do these fun things. Why limit? So I think just allowing yourself to be a little bit more free and playful, or me was was key in that. 

And I still like, I still really have removed myself in some ways from the outside world. And I would say that's a bit of where I say it was just I've come out of this different, you know, it is a different person. Because I think at one point in the journey, I was thinking, Okay, I want to go back to my old self. And there's a point in the healing journey where you say, and you start to imagine your new self and a better version of yourself. And I think for me, when I could see that future, real healing began, and I really had deep inner peace, and a strong faith in that as far as my healing. And so for me, that was a big change that happened - looking forward versus looking back in the journey and just knowing I'd be okay. 

And you know, there's a point in the journey where I'm like, Oh, I feel a symptom. But I knew how to handle what was happening in my body, I you know, understood the kind of the fear pain cycle of happening, and the high alert signals in my body, I understood what was happening enough. And I knew that I had a toolkit to help get me through, you know, between yoga nidra, which was really one of my go to vagus nerve exercises that I would do, the gentle yoga with Suzy and her rest repair group. So all of those things helped me combined with play just to get to kind of a new, I would say, just a state of living again, you know, and energy again. 

So it was, in one ways, I would never want to go through it again. But yet, what I've learned from this, and what I still incorporate in my life today, is still something that I really treasure. You know, I really treasure all I've learned from this, you know, like you I go on a hike and I do pause. And I call my feeling photos, you know, we're often like, let's flip on a phone, take a picture and move on. I'm like, No, I'm just, I'm just standing there for a while. And like, just soak this in, right? How do you feel like the, you know, the wind on your face, the sun, like all of that, I just pause. And I reflect on how I feel. 

And it's especially hard coming out of a long journey like this not to be emotional, like, being so thankful, and having so much gratitude in what you just did, like, what a blessing to be alive every day. And we don't pause and think about that, right? It's just a blessing, like, our bodies are miracles, and just being alive and realizing the power, you know, the gift of life is just a blessing, and we get to share it with other people. So I have a much deeper appreciation for what others are going through and struggling with any health illnesses or issues, but super grateful that I, in a way, have been able to learn these lessons getting through Long COVID.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, that's interesting. And I love what you said about knowing how to handle things when they happen. Because that was a big moment for me, you know, before it had been symptoms were happening. And you know, it was just like everything happening at once. I had no idea what to do, and everything was just awful. And then once you find - we were talking earlier about the thing, the one thing or the first thing, and then you know, you start to learn how to kind of deploy this kind of missile. So like, for me, it was breathing. So it was like, right, well, when things start getting really bad. Okay, well, rather than focusing on all the bad, because it's really quite easy to focus on all the bad, how about, we think about how I can use my breathing to, you know, try to calm things down and try to stop them from at least getting any worse. 

And that was quite a big moment for me, where I realized that actually, I did have things that I could do that would at the very least help. And then that made some things be a little bit less scary, because I knew that, you know, when they happened, because they were going to happen again, at some point. But at least, you know, there were things that I could do that would help. And that really helped I think, you know, and then as overtime, you develop more and more of these things you find OH actually, yeah, yoga nidra that was a big thing for me, that's really great. And, you know, other things that you find anything Oh, okay, that's really great as well, I can use that. And I can use that, I can use that. And you have this big kind of, like you say, a toolkit of things that, you know, they might not solve the whole problem all the time, but at the very least they will help. And that's powerful, I think.

Gina Short  
Oh absolutely. There's a point I think I just knew I was on the path to recovery. And I wasn't there yet, but I wasn't trying to force timelines. I think that was the biggest thing for me is just understanding, allowing my body to be and it was okay like if I had these moments it's okay, and just allow, sit with it. Just you know, change my scenery, change my environment, but ensure that my thoughts were the best they could be for me. And I think that's, for me, the element when I was up and down a little bit, you know, especially I remember one hike, you know, I used to hike 10 miles with a backpack, no problem, but I was on pretty flat, you know, one mile hike and I had to just flop my butt down right where I was at, I'm like, my heart rate was just going crazy. I'm like, I just got to sit. 

And, you know, in those moments I didn't understand. And I was still frustrated in those moments. And I think understanding that frustration is also something that being super frustrated is not kind of myself, and I had to get through that to say, you know what, it's okay, if that's all I can do today. That's okay. And really, that was the peace of the accepting that I didn't realize, versus the push through piece. And so I think in that acceptance, I really allowed myself to heal, you know, from the inside. 

And I would say in the recovery, I also had some setbacks that I thought these would be hard things. And you know, about a year, just shy of a year into my long COVID, my mother passed away. And it was really hard period of time, I thought, for sure this is going to, you know, initially my language was This is really going to set my own health journey back. In a way, though, that also helped a lot in my healing, it was really hard period. But we were just surrounded, you know, my sisters, three sisters, and my dad, we're just surrounded by love and support. And I think all of that, in those hardest moments just allowed me even more, I would say, just grace and space was something that I just really lived by, in that period of time, just allowing myself to be. 

And I think, had I not learned everything or had been on my recovery journey, that period of my life would have also looked a lot differently coming in, you know, hot on the heels of a fast active paced life. I was coming into it with really understanding how to self care for my own body through that period. So it was something that was hard. Yet it was also just filled with, you know, a lot of love and connection. 

Jackie Baxter  
And did coming through that kind of give you a bit more confidence, almost, that Oh, okay, my body handled that? However, you know, it must have been awful at the time. But afterwards, looking back, I didn't fall to pieces there. I actually, I handled it.

Gina Short  
Yeah, I think it gives you just a sense of, for me, you know, also looking at just a broader higher purpose in life. I'm a Christian, and I just know that my mom was an inspiration to so many other people. So while I had long COVID, and it was very temporary, and I was healing from it, my mom had Parkinson's disease at the age of 30. So she lived with her body not being well and able. And the lessons I learned from my mom really started in you know, just as I reflected, just realizing the strength, the inner strength that she had, because she was so giving, loving and supporting all of everybody around her that she was really an inspiration. So I think taking that understanding, she always made everyone else feel special. 

And I think knowing that you don't have to be well, to love and to give. And so that to me realize, okay, my own body, I don't have to be well, and knowing that my mom could get through anything really inspired me to say, You know what I can, I will heal from this, this is just seems like a drop compared to what my mom lived with for most of her life. And so I think, really having perspective just gave me that grounding. And understanding that, you know, it will be okay. And it doesn't matter, like sometimes, yeah, our bodies don't do what we hope or expect. Or maybe, you know, we'll have something that happens that we have to live with in another way. And perhaps this has prepared me for anything else in what's next. And so I think I just had a much bigger, broader perspective on life, going through that at the same time.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, and I think - I love what you said about just because you're sick doesn't mean that you can't give. Again, this is probably a problem with the culture that we live in, where our worth is tied to our productivity. So if you are not a productive member of society, if you're not working, if you're not, you know, giving to society, then you're sort of perceived as lazy or worthless. And I certainly have felt lazy and worthless, despite the fact that I knew that I was unwell. 

And our self worth shouldn't be tied to our productivity, you know, we are worthy of being awesome people, whether we can give or not. And I think, you know, this is something that I see it in people, I see it and myself, and it just it makes me so angry, almost that we should be made to feel like this. But actually, you know, whatever your situation, you are always more than you think you are, I think,

Gina Short  
yeah, I think just to be, you know, just a loving kind person. So I think giving more of yourself and especially in times, you know, I do believe that you know, be a blessing and you will be blessed, and the more that you give I think you often get more in return. So understanding this, if even if your body's not well, how do you love big? You know, that was something - I created flashcards for myself to remind my future self and I created, you know, I have a journal that I look back on often because it wasn't a journal about, and I did morning pages where it was just like getting thoughts out and journaling. 

But to me, it was also just a very precious way of a journal for my future self. And so it's just like super inspirational quotes or Bible verses or just things that inspired me. So those are things that I just really treasure, and just would take from this period of things that I could have close to my heart, then I can read and go back to them. And, you know, the more I give to others, the more you know, I know that I can be a blessing to other people.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, I think that's lovely. Something that I'm really interested in, because it's something that I've recently been kind of going through myself, is this kind of idea of recovery. And we've talked about all these things that have helped you. And at what point did you call yourself recovered? Like, how did you know that you were finally there? You knew you were improving. You knew that things were getting better. At what point did you say Hurrah. I'm there. What was that moment like for you?

Gina Short  
Yeah, it was. And I declared it was December 17 of 2022. And so hooray, yay. And why pick that date? I mean, I wrote it, I wish I had my journal right here, I could look at it because it's like, I just wrote this big page like "I am recover from long COVID." I signed it and date it, stamped it. And that was it. And it took me a while to get there. And  I think a lot of us struggle, I kept seeing, you know, with our long COVID community, a lot of people are in this, I always put percents on it. Like I don't know, just like, Okay, I'm about 80%. But I had some, I had good days, I knew how to manage it. But it wasn't 100%. 

But it was just but you know, I could always hear Suzy saying, Well, don't we all have bad days sometimes? Or don't we all not, we're not always 100%. Like I've 100 percent's our threshold. And the reason I was in that stage is that I had done a recovery interview with Suzy bolt. And she asked me Well, are you recovered? And I kind of paused on that question. And then like, afterwards, you know, in  that little a few days after I'm like, Well, why wouldn't I be? Why would I tell myself I'm not. And so I started to have kind of that conversation in my head, which I think I often have done in long COVID, of like this conversation that goes on internally. 

Why wouldn't I tell myself that? Why wouldn't that serve me well, because I am feeling well. I was at that point back to work part time. And so I just declared it and it was amazing that difference a declaration and what it did, by writing it down, by now telling other people and I still I just get chills, like when I remember telling, especially my eight year old just like started cheering I'm like, Oh my gosh, I didn't realize how much he had been holding back too, right? Mom, are you okay, now? Oh, good. Right, and even telling other people. That's all I had to say, all I just say and you know, I just use the language that, you know, I've recovered from long COVID. I'm still building my stamina; athletically, I still had some ways to go. But I was, you know, hiking up mountains, I was back on my bike. I was you know, doing active things again, like life wasn't limiting. 

And so it's at that stage, where I think, for me making that declaration and just saying it, putting post-its around the house, like remind, like, telling myself like you are healed. And if, you know if you have a symptom, okay, but that was to me something that a declaration was important for me. And I'm, I guess, I think about two ways as well. Like, you guys could look at all the proof points, right? I can go days now without thinking about long COVID symptoms or guessing like, oh, you know, I can wake up and you know, have an active day, you know, go out to dinner, have drink, you know, and when I without thought, I think that's a thing like a proof point. 

But for me where it comes down into the core is that I just believe, and I know that I recovered. And if I have a symptom, okay, don't we all get tired or you know, just take a little rest, I know how to do it, you know, breath work for five minutes, 10 minutes or and I just call them resets. But I think we all need mind pauses and resets through our life in general. But I just knew that I guess in my deep in my heart that I've really healed. So that's how I guess I know I've recovered.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, it's wonderful to hear the way you talk about it. And I think it's almost like, because I'm a new person now, I'm a different person. I'm a more aware person. So I'm going to be aware now of things that I would have just pushed through without thinking of, you know, four years ago. So it's really hard to kind of say, well, I wasn't symptom free then. I would have called myself symptom free because I had no idea what any of these things were. But actually, you know, I might have got a bit breathless then. But I would have just ignored it. Whereas now I feel myself being like, Oh, I'm very slightly breathless. What's going on? Oh, actually, it's okay. You know, it's nothing to worry about, let's just take a slow breath. And we're good to go. This is normal, normal stuff, isn't it? Everyone gets this.

Gina Short  
And I think that's in the comparison, like, Okay, I can't compare it to the past, because it's just different. I've changed from this, my pace in which I operate, and how I operate is differently. And I actually really crave having time to be more mindful, time to just do breath work, just time, appreciate time and relationships in a much deeper sense. And I'm definitely have an awareness that I didn't have before. And so I think those are the things that I can take with me from this journey, for sure.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, every experience has an impact on every single person. And you know, a big experience or a traumatic experience, or, you know, whatever you want to call it, is obviously going to have more of an effect on you than something much smaller. So I think it's almost inevitable, that whatever the  you that comes out the other end is, it's not going to be the same as the one that went in at the start, isn't it? And, you know, I think that's inevitable. Nobody has an experience and is unchanged by it. It's just less noticeable when it's something smaller, I suppose.

Gina Short  
Yeah, no, I think going through big, you know, big things. And that's what I would tell myself in the middle of it, you know, at some point, am I dreaming big enough, right? Like when you go through something big, like, just dream big, right? And see where this journey has helped shape me for what's next in my future. So I just think it kind of opened my eyes to even think bigger and dream bigger. Because why not? Why wouldn't I? I feel like I can do anything, like, after going through this, like, just such a confidence that like, I can do anything, I'm strong, I'm resilient, and I know that I'll be able to tackle anything that comes my way.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, I love that. So what advice might you give to yourself, kind of at the start of your journey, having now gone through it and given yourself a little bit of kind of space? What would you say to former you?

Gina Short  
oh, gosh, there's like, to boil it down, I would say just prioritize your care. I wish that at the beginning, I would have really truly rested. And rest, not just sleeping in bed, but just truly unplugging and resting. And I would say in a way, just kind of removing yourself and remove myself from the outside world, I wish I would have just done that in the beginning stages. So I'd say anyone that can, look at the patterns that you have, don't keep pushing through, but just really being able to unplug in a way that allows yourself and your body and your brain to rest. I think that's not scrolling on your phone, but it is truly unplugging. 

So I would say be knowledgeable. I would say that for me the education, that parallel path is I read a lot of various different books. And understanding, you know, from The Way Out, from Cured. Breaking Free is a great book on long COVID. So there's great resources to understand what's happening in your body, and how you can recover for it. 

You know, go play, I would say, you know, you think it's counterintuitive, but go play, go smile, go have fun. Just be a kid again, that was probably some of the best advice, kind of in the middle of it for me, is just play and have fun. You know, love big. 

And then lastly, just find your people, find your community. To be alone and doing this is really, really hard. But finding those that can support you in it, you know, is what we all need. People need people. So like finding your community is so important. And so did all that through this journey, but maybe in a different order if I were to do it all over again.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, well, I'm sure I saw - it was one of those little, you know, things that you see on Facebook. And I can't remember exactly what it said. But it was something along the lines of - Your experiences, your recovery story is someone else's manual. So you know, what you have done, has enabled other people to look at what you've done and go, Oh, well, that's what I will do. That's what I won't do. And to kind of you know, I think that's why recovery stories can be so important, aren't they. You know, you can see what other people have done that has worked. You can see what they've done that maybe hasn't been so successful and hopefully learn from them.

Gina Short  
No, I think I know appreciate because in the early stages, Rachel was one that you had interviewed, and I had seen her recovery story, which then helped inspire me and help connected me to Suzy bolt's group. So it's just the people that I think have gone before you, there's wisdom to be shared. So definitely, you know, thanks for all the work you do, because I heard her story and that helped inspired me to learn, you know, what worked for her and how you know, each story, each individual is different, but I definitely could take bits and pieces that would work for me, and helped me recover as well. 

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Gina Short  
Just I would say to people believe you will recover, right, a core belief, believe in yourself, and you can heal from the inside out. You don't need all the treatments and all the other things. But for me, it was just a real piece that you can recover, recover on your own. You don't need other things and outside things to help get you there.

Jackie Baxter  
Yeah, yeah, that belief is so important, I think. Well, thank you so much for joining me this evening. And for sharing your story. You mentioned a few links, which I'll drop into the show notes. So if anyone wants to follow up any of those they can do. And I hope it's given everyone a bit of inspiration if they're struggling, or a bit of hope. And yeah, so thank you so much.

Gina Short  
Thanks, Jackie. Thanks for having me.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai