Episode Player
Breaking the patterns of "high conflict": A conversation with author Amanda Ripley.
Difficult Conversations, with Kern Beare
Chapters
0:00
Introduction
9:48
What is "High Conflict"?
13:08
Why High Conflict is a lot like the La Brea Tar Pits.
18:02
Why everything now is High Conflict.
27:24
The four "trip wires" of High Conflict.
33:28
Breaking the power of the binary.
43:59
The case of the barking dog.
50:12
Understanding the "understory."
57:32
Whatever your gut tells you to do, do the opposite.
1:00:01
The power of humor.
1:03:12
Do the unexpected: Advice for the Biden Administration (and the rest of us).
Difficult Conversations, with Kern Beare
Breaking the patterns of "high conflict": A conversation with author Amanda Ripley.
Feb 18, 2022
Season 2
Episode 2
Kern Beare
Amanda Ripley is an investigative journalist and a New York Times best-selling author. Her most recent book, and the subject of our conversation, is High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. In this interview, we take a deep dive into some of her book's main ideas, including:
- Why high conflicts are a lot like the La Brea Tar Pits.
- The four "trip wires" that lead to high conflict, including "the power of the binary."
- Why often the best thing you can do in a conflict is first "get straight in your own head."
- How finding the "understory" of a conflict can be a source of liberation.
- How to creatively break the patterns of high conflict by "stepping out of the dance."
- What it means and why it's important to appeal to a "transcendent identity."
- And much more (my favorite: Amanda's "food in the fridge" conflict).
_________________________
Kern Beare is the founder of the Difficult Conversations Project and the author of Difficult Conversations: The Art and Science of Working Together. He also facilitates a workshop based on his book, which is free for non-profit organizations and community groups.
