Besites, Business, Mommy Smut, and a Depression Cycle. Unhinged with Amie Pendle, The Brandographer EP1

Get ready for an unhinged conversation as my bestie and I talk about friendship-making, book series love, mommy smut, and, of course, a little bit of friendly chatter. 

Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? We are spilling the tea of making real, genuine friendships that don't revolve around business. Amie and I  both share our experiences, from connecting with moms at a birthday party to bonding over shared interests with the local restaurant owner. It's a real bathroom conversation with your bestie about the challenges of forging meaningful friendships at our age, but we're all in this together, right?

No girl bestie bathroom conversation would be complete without a little smut, smut conversation. And don’t tell us that you haven’t gotten attached and all revved up from a spicy book series. And you know your partner is loving the side effects. 

And of course, we are laughing and spilling the tea on our partners' fashion choices, planning a sneaky double date for our friends, and even dreaming up a plant society, move over, fuchsia enthusiasts we’re coming.

It's not all fun and games. We're opening up about handling negative thoughts and emotions, and the power of a good friend's support during tough times.

Grab your favorite drink, kick back, and join us for an episode that's equal parts real hard conversation and those funny moments that you are scared to share. Join us as we share our real conversation about life, friendship, and business.

Connect with Amie on Instagram @the_brandographer

Connect with Sam on Instagram or TikTok

Transcript

 January was at least a year long for everyone I know, for everyone I know too. Good to know. Not a lot. No. I think a lot of us were jumping into directions we shouldn't have gone and I was like, Oh, thank you for showing me that.

And now I feel like I have a good awareness where I'm like, Oh, that doesn't feel good. Yeah. You know, it's the first time that I actually realized. The feelings in my body and the depression I was going through it wasn't me just going into another cycle It was like a massive like warning sign. Yeah of you don't want where you're going.

I think it's normal and healthy to veer off path. And I think that it's great when you can find people who can see that you're okay. Okay, Sam, that's a little too far. Let's bring it back in, 

I really have stepped out of listening to self help books, period.

I'll listen to one here and there, but I'm just like, I just want to read and listen to cool things like people are kidnapping people in the jungles and harvesting their fat for cosmetics. No freaking way. But it's also a theory, right?



  



All right, Amy, welcome to the very first episode of the Samantha Parker show.

Hey, no, no, no, no. Welcome to my studio. Yeah. Look at this.  You didn't know you had a podcast studio.  I had dreamt one day, but it would only be with you. Okay. But do you realize how we made the pieces come together though?  Totally manifested that manifested it.  It has been such a journey to get everything set up. It's hard work. And there's nothing online that like step by step, this is how you do a podcast. No, because we also needed to film the podcast. Exactly. So there has been a lot to get here  and I planned on filming them in person.

And so, well, you'll see them in different locations, but. We're in Amy's garage right now. Yeah, because the last few times we've recorded has actually been in a coffee shop. Mm hmm. Which you would think like, that would be really hard. But it wasn't. It wasn't at all. It had the two little cameras and just our little tiny mics.

Hello, tiny mic. Yeah, I got my tiny mic on. So cute. With the big mic. Big mic and tiny mic. I know.   It's a different animal when you're talking about like moving around location and you want like that quality.  Well, I've only ever recorded on Zoom, so this is like a whole new level.  Can you believe I've only ever recorded on Zoom? 

Yes and no, because I know when you try to learn something like this, there's, there's a lot of moving pieces. So, so many moving pieces. Like I tried and then I gave up. I'm all, this is too hard. There's also a lot of cash sitting here. There really is. Yeah, it's not too bad, but well, with your cameras in here to your big cameras, because we're using two small vlog cameras that are mine, but then you also have your, but yeah, we've got like thousands of dollars sitting here. 

More than that. Should we count the building? I don't know. And if you're like including the studio and the priceless artwork, like, can we, can we talk about the artwork? Yeah. So Amy painted this really cool painting that's sitting behind us on the wall, on top of a painting.

Yeah, because I went to Michael's and I knew that I, I have like a giant space, right? So I need a giant canvas and they just don't, the biggest I have is like 30 by 40, which sounds huge, but it's not huge.  That's what she said.  So then I went to TJ  Maxx and because I know that they always have like  And I literally said to myself, I was like, man, I wish there was just like this giant canvas  clearance because I didn't want to pay 150 just to paint over something.

And lo and behold, two steps later on an end cap, this beast.  Did you ever think about like just  buying a canvas? I thought about it. But so the thing is, see how it has this like, it's framed. It's got a floating frame around it.  You can't do that. You can't buy canvases like that. This is true. Um, you have to build it yourself.

And I just didn't want to do that. I wanted, like, a really easy DIY. So I bought this one. It was super  We'll just say it was clearanced for a reason. I didn't think it was that beautiful. Made in China. And, uh, yeah, I just slobbed, globbed paint all over it, and here we go. But it's my colors, which, and I wanted, like, I wanted the checker.

I wanted pink. I wanted orange. I wanted yellow. And now it's got a mic, a pod mic, it's got a camera, and it's got a coffee, and that's A coffee with an A? A for Amy? Mm hmm. A for awesome. A for awesome? I thought it was for Amy for sure. It was Amy. But Amy's awesome.  Thank you. I see what you did there. I had to put the hat. 

Okay, so,  the Samantha Parker show, I was like, we have to have cocktails. And I'm not leaving here without a cocktail. Cheers. So what'd you make us? Um, this is a Elderflower Paloma. It's a dirty pelican. It's basically a mock That's what it says. Yeah, it's, that's the brand. Oh, okay. I believe. Organic. USDA organic.

And, um, you just add some champagne to it. Well, I mean, I think you would drink it on its own as a mock sell, right? Mm hmm. But we But it says on the back. It says on the back.  Oh, okay. Bubbles. 1. 5 ounces of bubbles. And I'm just gonna assume that it's bubbly and AKA champagne. Oh, absolutely. So. It's bubbly.

Here we go. Cheers. Thank you. Okay. I want to talk about something. Okay. You are really active book reader.  Listener. Listener. I do read. Listen a lot. Oh, listen a lot. Yes. Okay. So you've kind of gotten me into the audio book reading, which I love because I feel like this is something that I. I normally don't listen to on that.

So we get into like a little bit of a smut smut, you know, which I think is okay. 

 A little smut smut, AKA mommy porn. Yes. I think it's much needed. Like I think women need to be able to listen to this stuff, but I have to tell you, I had no idea that books would affect.  My personality so bad. My moods. 

 We'll say my moods.

Okay, you get reading right and you're like, okay So that there's are you talking about your sexual pros and cons. You just don't want to say it. No, I'm talking about all the moods Okay, okay.  Yes, the sexy stuff is nice. This is so fun, by the way. Yeah, it is Okay, the sexy stuff is like nice Obviously my husband definitely benefits from those but let's talk about like when the love of her life in the book dies  I'm devastated for like a week.

I, I get so emotionally attached to these characters that, okay, let's take, um, the Raven head for instance. I just finished the whole series. Oh, that series is so good. Dominic dies, right? Oh yeah. And every rainy day, I'm constantly thinking my rainy days are yours. Oh, you got way into, you got in deep. Yeah.

Like emotionally invested. And so it has been raining here in Southern Utah for about a week. Do you know what that is doing to me psychologically? Like my boyfriend is dead. Her book boyfriend? Yes. He is not coming back. What do I do? Like, how do you detach from these characters?  I don't, so I did read a book series recently that was really like disturbing and I couldn't stop reading it and it was so disturbing and I was like, I just couldn't.

Stop listening and I wish that I had never like listened to it. Okay, that makes me really see to me It's like something doesn't feel right. I'm instantly out of it. Like no, it was like true crime though You know where you just like you have to know what happens. Yeah, but I'm not super into true crime But I do listen to theories of the third kind.

It's my favorite podcast and on the way over here today I was listening to their newest episode and it was about the human fat trade  And I was just like, but I couldn't stop listening.  No, 

 like people are kidnapping people in the jungles and harvesting their fat for cosmetics. No freaking way. But it's also a theory, right?

 Yeah. Yeah. That's, that would be wild. Okay. But back to Dominic and the Ravenhood series, that one is so good. But so I get invested into it, but I get really annoyed sometimes where I'm like, why isn't she was so and so? Cause she ends up with. Well, yeah, there's someone else. There's three main boyfriends in this whole series.

Yeah, and I didn't like the third one at all.  Um, he's a no for me. Can I think of his name? He's Tobias, Tobias, the French, the Frenchman. He's just like a total no for me. There wasn't anything. Did you read all four books?  Yes. Okay. Really? So even on the third one, you didn't like, no, when he, when he comes back to her. 

I was like, this is such a bitch. He's such a bitch. And then, you know, what bothers me too in these books, I'm like, where these men just have so much money. And I'm like, 

 where are these men in real life? Yeah, I kind of loved that they were like into the conspiracy against the government stuff, you know like that I was like, yeah, no, I loved those books I absolutely loved it But I had a hard time because I wasn't into like I couldn't picture the two of them getting it on 

 Hmm,  I don't know.

They just talk about it like muscles and I'm like, okay See to me he was like Tobias in my head was like a skinny whiny Frenchman Okay to me in my head Tobias was like an old man Because of the French accent was just so strong and I was just like I couldn't get into it where Dominic with his like Deep growly voice.

I was like, okay and then Sean with this. Hey pup and you're like, oh Call me daddy  But I'm like, how did this bitch get so lucky three two of them are brothers Well, yeah, and then the two friends were like no, we'll just share you. I'm like who who shares I'm sorry, but like, what world are we living in?

Okay, so with all the four books, you get Tobias view, you get Cecilia's view, and you get Dominic's view, and I was like, how come Sean never got a view? Because the fourth book, in Dominic's view, he gives more of an insight to how Sean actually felt about Cecilia, when he was just like, when we get back from Paris, like, we're gonna marry her.

Yeah. Let's marry her, and I'm like, well, first of all, I was like, how are you both gonna marry her? It's called polygamy, we're from Utah.  Well, we live here.  Again. Yeah. I don't know. I give up. Okay. So we're going to stop one of our mutual friends who recommended the book to me. And then I told you to read the books. 

She was like, she's like a serial book reader. Yes. And she was like, have you gotten to chapter? And she knew the exact chapter, she has it bookmarked. And she said, she goes back and listens to it because she's never been 34 paragraph two, because she's never been so turned on in her life.  She was like, it does it for me.

Every time it's so hard is when Bobby's like, so what's this book about? And I'm like,  Oh God. So I love fantasy and you don't. So I haven't, you haven't, well, I haven't gotten into fantasy. I just started fourth wing. Fourth wing is so good and it's really mild like as far as smut goes. It's a very good storyline.

Yeah. Yeah Yeah, i'm still just getting into like the first few chapters, but  i'm not against fantasy But I just this way i'm ravenhood. I don't how do you I can't move forward right now? I can't i'm still emotionally attached to these characters and that's so that's where i'm like How do people just jump from like series to series?

I get bored. I'm just like i'm done Yeah, I don't know. I thought I would be with the last book, but it was just a total different perspective And so I was like Oh, yeah. I remember when that happened. Okay. That makes sense. And so now I feel like I have this map of like their whole world, the whole story. I know all the details from everybody's perspective and I'm like, I just can't get into this dragon rider girl.

Oh yeah. And you know, you might want to wait on that series because there's only two books.  Oh, that's bad. I, when movies do that to me,  these mics are so good and I'm drinking this bubbly. And so anytime I have like a little bubble in my throat, I'm like, it sounds like I'm all bit.  You can hear this.  Okay, but I do have a book series that I need you to read and I think you'll enjoy it because there's no fantasy either Dude, you are you're like my guru.

I'm over here. I'm like, okay, what's on my next? What's on my next series is after and there's so many after books They were they were so big and there's actually now movies on all of them So you can watch all the movies and read all the books The movies are out.  It's old. I didn't Really? Yeah, I didn't know about it until Well, here, do you want to hear this?

This is how I got into really listening. You know, I would listen to books here and there, especially self help, but , when Jake was deployed, it was You, you go through a weird transition where you're like, I don't know how to be alone. Yeah. And so at night I was just sitting there for hours listening to audio books because it would help my mind.

Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. So I was listening to audio books and I was scrolling Pinterest, like just looking at pictures and fun things and that's what I would do at night because I didn't know what else to else to talk to. Yeah. So I was trying to fill a gap.  I really have stepped out of listening to self help books, period.

I'll listen to one here and there, but I'm just like, I just want to read and listen to cool things. 

 I can't tell you how many self help books I actually have, like the Jordan Doodly, like all these ones that I have never even opened the covers. I'm like, I don't know why I listened to a lot of them, yeah. 

 So even in January I listened to a self help book. And then I got into this mindset of I have to do all these things and I have to do this and I have to do this and I have to do this and it was part of my mental breakdown that I had in January that you actually helped me out of. 

Yeah, I was, I was going down. I was like, this is where I check myself in. But I also think let's go, let's go down this road. I think it's normal and healthy to veer off path. And I think that it's great when you can find people who can see that you're okay. Okay, Sam, that's a little too far. Let's bring it back in, you know, cause like how many times.

Have you ever like gone down that path of like by yourself and you're like, I don't know how to reel myself I think that was me like not even two weeks ago I was like telling you I'm like I just can't like I was in this vortex of negative and I felt like I was just like Swooping it in even though I had all these creative ideas and things that I wanted to do I was like I cannot physically make myself do them and I was like it just seems like This vortex things were just they just kept coming.

I'm like, how do I stop this? How do I stop this negative thinking? How do I like get back into like the I am awesome Energy again. Everything is awesome. I know and you just kept sending me like you'll be fine. You just gotta feel it You'll be fine. I'm like, I'm done feeling it. I don't know how to like pull myself out of this hole there's a lot of things that I want to say about this and some of it is that 

 we have this expectation that like happy is the only reality we should be living in, so then we're not feeling happy, we're mad at ourselves and so you're creating like a bigger hole, right?

I think joy is always like a great baseline to shoot for. I just watched But you don't have to have joy and happy all the time, you know? It's inside out. 

 Yeah. I literally have watched it three times in the last few days because Brooklyn's obsessed with it and we had this conversation of like, you need, like, sad's okay, depression is okay, but we don't want to sit in it too long.

No, because my depression is like, let's leave the planet Earth, you know, I don't know where we're going, but let's go. Yeah, right. And that's not where I want to be either. So I think joy is always like a great baseline. Like, I'm always looking for things that bring me joy. But what I really learned even this last, like, couple months.

Well, just month, right? That's wild. I'm all this last week. I'm all, it feels like a year. Yeah. January was at least a year long for everyone I know, for everyone I know too. Good to know. Not a lot. No. I think a lot of us were jumping into directions we shouldn't have gone and I was like, Oh, thank you for showing me that.

And now I feel like I have a good awareness where I'm like, Oh, that doesn't feel good. Yeah. You know, it's the first time that I actually realized. The feelings in my body and the depression I was going through it wasn't me just going into another cycle It was like a massive like warning sign. Yeah of you don't want where you're going.

I like that I'm glad you like recognized it. Yeah, but I don't know like why am I just 38 and figuring this out, you know? Well,  like it's almost 39. Well, we're listening to this. I'm gonna be 39 I'm so excited for 39. I'm excited for 40. Honestly, me too. I don't know why I'm like, it's a sad I'm kind of jelly you're turning 40 this year before me But I was saying like for a whole two weeks, Sam, we're going to be the same age. 

That's awesome. I will never be the same age with my husband, any of my sisters. So I'm like, you're the only for like for one week, two weeks, we're going to be the same age. I think it's like three weeks actually. Something like that. Yeah. My cousin is five days older than me. So we're the exact same age.

And then his wife is just like a couple of weeks older than him. That would be so wild. So your cousin or is his mom like your mom's sister? Yeah. Mm hmm.  Your mom was pregnant with her sister like at the same time. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's adorable. Except for my mom was 18.  Well,  but I think they had a lot of fun having babies together.

My cousin was actually a preemie So there's pictures of us and he's like a little tiny and I'm like, rawr, I'll eat you next to him. Yeah, my heart preemies on me  I'm all like,  oh my gosh, Brooklyn and I,  brooklyn and I went through this whole thing the other day where we were like, so we're taking the kids to San Diego  for my birthday.

This is the thing, I couldn't, I couldn't get what I really were going to San Diego. Okay, so I couldn't get what I really wanted for my birthday, but I was able to talk my husband into like, going to the San Diego Zoo. So I found the cutest freaking Airbnb. Okay. Okay, it's like, so cute inside, nice and bright, and I was like, oh fuck yeah, we're taking pictures in here, like, I'm doing this.

I don't know how, but I'm doing this. At the very end, we like, we book it, and then I go back through the pictures of the house again, I'm like, trying to hype myself up, I'm like, let's look at it again. It has a pink front door. Oh, cute. Just like that. So for those of you guys listening, Amy has a pink door that comes into her studio here.

It's like flamingo pink. It's dope. That's fun. It's dope. Anyway, so I'm like super excited about this. So I'm trying to get the littles hyped up about going to the San Diego Zoo because this is where I grew up. I don't know if I ever told you, my grandma and my aunt both worked at the zoo. So every summer I got to spend She does not tell me this.

Okay, so they didn't work with animals. They were part of the fuchsia society, which is like a old lady It's like the red hat. Yeah, kind of. But they like take care of fuchsias, like they're obsessed with the plants, like fuchsias. Oh, I thought you were talking about the color fuchsia. No, so do you know what a fuchsia is?

The plant? Yes. And then like little lantern flowers that There's Hold on. There's a fucking society for Yeah, the fuchsia like an air plant society or Something like, that you cannot kill? Wait, yeah. Or like, what's just a good plant? I don't I can't even think of plants right now. A succulent society.

Succulent society. Suck it! Succulent society. Or like Anyway, so I spent a lot of time, like, at the zoo as a kid. But hold on, did you spend a lot of time with fuchsias? I did, and I got in so much trouble because a fuchsia is like, it's like a little paper lantern before it blooms. And I would pop them. Oh, I'd get in so much trouble.

I can't even tell you how mad my grandma and my aunt would get at me, but it's so fun. When you just said that, I was like, Oh, no, you did not. Yeah, no, they just like pop. You can like rip them open anyways. So I spent a lot of time at the zoo. You suck out their insides too? No, they're not like that.  They're flowers.

Samantha, silly little, they're flowers.  Anyways, spent a lot of time at the zoo, so I'm trying to get my kids hyped up because the zoo has changed a lot. Are you taking all your kids?  Maybe we'll see. Okay. Sorry. I have two dedicated to go because they have no choice. They have no choice. Yeah Okay, if one's working at Lulu, like she'll she'll stay but well, so we'll see  anyways I'm getting my kids hyped up and so Brooklyn and I are sitting there and I'm trying to tell her like I turn on this YouTube video showing her the zoo and I'm like Elephants the meerkats like all the things and she goes  They have  a baby polar bear with a military and  it's a girl and I'm like, oh dude, she's getting hyped up So then we start just like going back and forth like baby animals.

I'm like, what if there's a pink porcupine?  It's a little girl and it has a bow. Like it was the most I wish you were there. It was hilarious So I'm just praying to the zoo gods that there's some kind of  baby hippo or something by the time we go Baby hippos are so cute. They're the fucking best. Scary though A grown up in the wild  But like, little baby hippos.

Hippos are weird. Do you ever think about some animals? And I'm like, what's your purpose?  Yeah. But it's cool. But they're really fucking cute. Yeah. They're really cute.  I've been to the San Diego Zoo once.  We're gonna go and we're going to go over to Coronado. We're gonna hang out on the beach. Yeah, that's always fun Yeah, I'm gonna I'm hoping that between now and then I can train my husband to be like an Instagram husband because you think he Would be okay.

So can we talk about this for a second? Yeah, I love my husband because you know, he'll do just about anything For me,  I'm like, Hey, I got to do this. And he's like, okay, he's a good little actor. I gotta tell you, you're, you're crusty, dusty, my crusty, dusty  for my client buffed. I'm on my crusty dusties at it again.

And I, it was so funny. Cause I'm like, Jake, stand here and just look mad. Doesn't even ask why or what for he's like, does that work? Was that good? Is that going to be another take guys? Like, yeah, he's just like goes along with all of it. Horrible Instagram husband though. Horrible. Okay. So I had this event out at Canta.

It's for people who don't live here. It's like a desert community or whatever. They invited artists, like retired artists, basically. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. When people come to visit, I'm like, let's go out and see it. It's really pretty out there. The food's great. So yeah, the restaurant out there is amazing.

Yeah. But so they gave me free tickets to a show, which by the way, was the weirdest thing.  And it said you had to be 18 to go because there was like, it said sex reenactments. And I thought it would just like, Intinuate that they were having sex. Yeah. I don't know if they were actually having sex and like loud.

Oh, oh and We're sitting there like, you're an audience in a play, in a little theater, you know? Okay, okay, okay, yeah. And I'm all  Like, we're trying not to laugh because it's supposed to be like Oh, I would totally be laughing, especially if you had like a drink beforehand or something. There's no way I'd be There's no I'd be escorted out of the theater.

I'm with Jake and my sister, Mandy. Yeah. And Mandy's like, what the fuck? Oh, that would be really awkward. . But anyways, so they gave me the tickets. Yeah. And of course I was supposed to like share it. Yeah. And so we went early and walked around out there and he like, I'm like, just get me walking through hair.

Filmed, all of it. I do remember filmed all of it in Slowmo 

I about died and of course I didn't notice till the next day when I went to share all of it. Of course, of course. Okay. But then this past weekend I, did content for the Sand Hollow Balloon Festival. Oh, I remember. Yeah, it was so cool, but so last night I finished editing all the videos and I had Jake come as a second, like my second shooter, but I put the camera on a tripod like it is now and I was like, just do this, you know, move around a little bit, get us with the balloon going up.

Oh yeah, so it'd be nice and steady. No, everything is like, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, so I was trying like, I was getting these pans of the balloons going up and then it was like,  it would move to the left, it would move to the right.  Like he was just doing like really fast, sharp pans. But he could have just stayed pretty stationary.

That's true. And I did say, will you move around and like, you know, go over to the other side of the field and then go over to that side of the field. Cause for a while he was just standing there like, I'm next to the camera. Yeah. You know? Okay, but, okay, the creative in my head is like, okay, how can we make these like into dope transitions?

You know, maybe we can just like,  I cut them and I made it work, but good. Also, I was kind of sad because I could have done like some really cool, long, like,  you know, that is true. Okay. I really feel like we get along so well. How do we get, rarely, rarely we don't talk for a while.  I know. And you know, I have to like take a lot of responsibility for it because I can be like a total come  see you next Tuesday.

No, not like to you, but in the way of, I'll be like, that hurt my feelings. You're dead to me. Right. And I was like, goodbye. You have walls that just go really fast. And I'm all, okay. I didn't like it. Goodbye. Don't talk to me. Those reels that are like, when I first met you, I thought you were a total bitch.  I thought you were, but not like, not that I thought you were a bitch.

I just thought you were really intimidating.  I don't know why. I was just like, we have to be friends. Do you remember? Like, like the very first time we met at a coffee shop at feel love. And I was just like, whatever you're doing. No, because we first met at the creperie and I was trying to get you to, I was trying to hire you and basically you were like, I don't want to work with you.

You just say you don't remember it. I don't remember that. Because the first time you didn't show up. And then the second time you showed up. I do remember not showing up because I've done that to quite a few people where I've just,  I'm an artist, Sam. What do you expect? No, but I don't, I really don't remember meeting at the creperie.

And then you helped. Flowers for a shoe. And I don't remember that. I don't remember like when it clicked for me. No, I do realize you wouldn't remember me from when we used to interact when I worked in floral. Yeah. Because that was like a different lifetime. Do you know what I mean? True. Yeah. True. True. I was like, I always feel like it just like all of a sudden it like clicked for me and I saw you.

Does that make sense? Not that I was like, I don't see people, but like I don't see people. No, there's tons of people that are like, Oh, we met at blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Like, I don't remember that, but. Now that I like have that interaction and a conversation and I know you I know you so funny though Because I vividly remember the first time I met you for coffee and you were telling me like how you wanted to host these events I had like interactive stations and I was just like, oh, yeah, all I saw was you at that point, you know I was just like how do I become and I could tell that you  were a very guarded person and so then I was just like how do I like break through like how do I become friends with this person because she's like on a track and you had a mission and I was like Fuck yeah, I love people who have missions because the last thing you want to be is like the engine pulling the train and be like Come on, you know and you were just like I want to do this and I was like, whatever I can do to help I'm here.

Let's do it. Anyways, the point of the story is we get along so well How do we get Jake and Bobby like they have a lot of common interests  Oh, Jake would hang out. I'm like, he just doesn't make plans for himself, but that's Bobby too. So I'm like, dude, can we do like, not a parent trap, but can we like a friend trap, like a blind date usually for them?

Usually it's like Jake going somewhere with you. Yeah. I'm like, how do we, how do we like coordinate Jeep locations where all of a sudden we're like both jeeping in the same place. You don't have to, you just have to, you don't have to be weird about it, but I feel like let's go hang out. If it was just like natural like that, like all of a sudden they just.

We know that we're going to like bump into each other, but they don't know we're going to bump into each other. Oh, oh, and we both happen to have like, our shooting stuff. that because I would just be like Hey, Jake, we're going to go hang out with Bobby  and he'd be cool with it. Yeah,  here I am like trying to like scheme like, yeah, no, I was like, we just hang out.

I don't know. Oh, we're just going to make them like each other. I feel like Jake has a couple of friends and one is his friend Ryan. And he's a, he's actually a police officer here. Oh, Bobby's friends with the chief of police. But it's funny to me because he's like, yeah, Ryan's like my best friend. And I'm like.

I wouldn't, when have we guys hung out?  They were in the army together too. Does you know your favorite color? Don't,  but I think guy friends are different than girlfriends. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No. Bobby's got a few friends that like invite him to go mountain biking and I'm like, Bobby's not a mountain. He's got a mountain bike, you know?

But Jake's not gonna, I wouldn't say that he's a mountain bike, you know? Yeah. Jake's not gonna go mountain biking. I mean, he might. And then he's got a friend that just invited him to Moab. For like the weekend. And I'm like, Bobby doesn't really like to go places without his family. Like he doesn't believe in like big trips like that.

Like he'd rather take us. I actually think it'd be nice if Jake did go do like a guy's trip or something, but yeah, I doubt that he would. Same. Not that he's opposed to him, you know? Right, right. Okay, we're gonna plan a double date. And I say we just secretly film the whole thing too. Should we get the matching shirts? 

Like they don't even know. Yeah. Cause I do dress Jake. I know.  And I hate even saying it. And it's so funny because my cousin all the time is like, God, like look at that fit. Yeah. And he's like, where'd you get it? And you know, and as we've been camping and stuff and he's like, Oh, Sam just buys them and is like, you're wearing this.

I, so Bobby and I went through his closet last weekend and we were like doing the whole spring cleaning. We're going to pull out all the clothes that he doesn't wear anymore. Get him some new stuff.  Move a little closer. A little closer. Yeah. Got it. So we're like clearing out all the stuff.  Do you know how many pieces of clothing still had tags on them Samantha?

Oh, yeah, you know how many shoes Jake owns  three wait four if you count the Crocs in the garage Bobby buys these Nikes and I'm like, mmm, they're cute but like you're also 40 something and if you don't style Nike Nike's  correctly  I feel like it's a stretch, like your turn. Too hard, grandpa. So I was in Vegas and I wanted to get Jake collared shirts because I wasn't sure where we were going to be going out.

Nice like short sleeve button ups are so cute. I'm trying to think where I got them. It was a nice store. But anyways, I'm in there and I'm like picking out all these shirts and I The sales guy comes up and I, I think he thought I was getting them for me, you know? Stop.  I was like, no, I, I dress like a woman, but like, and then I was like, wait, no, that's not what I meant.

Like, cause women can wear whatever, you know what I mean? Women can wear men's shirts. Yeah. Like, do you understand? Yeah. And I just felt so dumb. I was like, no, they're for my husband. And then he was like, Oh. And then I was just like, I'm good. Could you just go back to what you were doing? Just leave me alone.

We don't need help. Thank you. And you're in Vegas too. So I'm like, Oh my God. But yeah, I got Jake two of these like nice polos and that's now like his go to two solid pieces. And I'm like, Hey, you could wear like, I actually pulled up a YouTube video the other night. I think Bobby turned it on. It was like this lady, this girl, she's like a stylist for older men.

Not like, like seniors, but like, you know, in your forties, late forties, things like that. And she was like, he's not in his late forties. Are you trying to dress them like a gram? Forties, late forties. Okay. And so she, she, she, She was going through like all these tips and she's like, if you have this in your closet, throw it away.

And so what she was saying was like with t shirts, just go with solid shirts. Don't wear patterns, don't wear logos because you're not, we're not trying to be 20 anymore. Okay. And I was like, that is so smart. Just like solid black shirts, solid blue shirts. I buy Jake that like RVCA shirts all the time. But if they're simple,  some of them are, you know what I mean?

But this, this, Was her tip. Yeah, wear solid shirts. I would like to disagree with her. Hmm. Well, I liked it I was like that makes sense I like it cuz it could go with anything then like it literally went with all of his joggers his shorts his jeans even I was Like I think we're a solid family now. So Jake has like his going out shoes and they are  Some Nikes like the ones kind of like I have on blue.

Yeah.  And like, I've trashed, like, I've gone through like five or six pairs of Nikes since I bought his, but he will only, like, only wears them for a few hours. Yeah. And I'm like, so then he wears his dudes. Yeah. His, and they're American dudes, so they're American flag dudes. Or he has on like, his army work boots, you know?

Um, Bobby has fallen in love with the Nike store at the mall, where they have all those, like, Custom Nikes. Oh, no, he's not wearing those. Is he? Oh, he's. Yeah. Is he? Is that a sentence? Like things like, yeah, they're like 300 a pair. Like, and he bought some that I swear to God look like Nickelodeon 1990 and I hate them.

Dude, I want to see them. I'm excited for this. They're like purple, teal and brown. How can we ditch? Hold on. How can we diss on his Nickelodeon shoes when I'm sitting here in a Justin Bieber?  Puff shirt. I mean, it's just in Bieber. And glitter pants.  I won't, but it's just in Bieber.  But, but for reals though.

Bieber believer!  It's true. But he won't wear those shoes anywhere. I won't let him. Because there is not a single thing in his wardrobe that coordinates with those shoes. I'm gonna just scream. Let's get him in here.  I can't talk. Let's get him in here. Let's take this on the road. Let's go. And we're like, let's go to the closet from Bobby's closet.

Well, it's actually clean right now besides my side. So besides your side, side my side. But yeah, no, that's just where I'm at with like getting them dressed. You know, when we moved,  I had that really big closet at our other house. I didn't realize how big my closet was. And then we moved in here and it is.

The closet's a good size, but it's not like a big walk in like I had. I mean, you still walk in it, but it's sad because originally I had like done a whole clutter clear out and like I had all the space for Jake and it is getting so bad and it's  just smaller. Next thing you know, you're like, sorry, Jake, you've been moved to the dresser.

No, most of his. Stuff is in the guest room closet and I'm like, is that what the other day? I was like, I feel so bad. Like, do you want me to move some of my stuff in there? And he literally was like, why do I care? Maybe you should move yourself in there. That like, maybe you should have the whole guest room as. 

Well, it's like my office. Exactly. In a guest room. But the closet in there is really small. I'd have to get, like, racks and that's not something I want. I don't want to have I did know a girl once, though. She had a cloffice, she called it. And it was a closet office. Yes, yes. I've seen those. And they had turned the whole room into, like, this glam I can go down the rabbit hole on Instagram.

don't want one, though. It's not my thing. Not mine, too. Because I'm not an organized person. And I It would probably be pretty for, like, a day. And then after that, I'd be like, Oh, a lot of work, kind of set all these shoes up and  make the watches just right. And no, thanks. No, thanks. I'm not doing it. Cheers to that.

Cheers to that. Fuck organization. Okay. But do you have any tips for like women? You keep saying forties, but we're in our thirties  old 39s  on making female friendships because for me, I have a story. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like for me, it has been a lot. And like, looking back, like retrospectively, a lot of it has been me being like, I didn't like the way you treated me that time.

You're dead to me, which I mean, you don't do that to your kids or your spouse. Right. I'm like, Hey, that hurt my feelings. And they're like, Oh, sorry. Or whatever, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Or like, you don't even need an apology. But I have, I'm realizing like how many people I know that I'm like,  used to be best friends in the whole world.

And now I'm like, please don't talk to me. Yeah. Well, . I think it comes down to giving energy on both sides, right?

If you, so if, if we're supposedly best friends and then I do something that makes you mad and you're like, you're dead to me. And I'm like, cool, I'll be dead. Then that's it, right? But if I come back and I'm like,  I refuse to be dead! You know, and you're like, fine, I don't I didn't mean it, you know, You're the only person who's ever even cared enough to reach out and be like, hey, I think you're upset with me.

Which, again, this is me being Right. No, but I You know, I'm not communicating well. It is totally a two sided  Friendship is two sided. Yeah, I think that people just go on, oh my sh I am stuck to myself. If you say you're dead to me and they're like, fine, they're not They're not the people.  That's actually a really good point because there have been people where I was like, Hey, I didn't really, you know, that wasn't awesome.

And then they were kind of like, fuck you. I do what I want. So just keep that in mind. It's a two way street. Well, if you ever say you're, I'm dead to you. I'm just like, uh, no, I'm like, never said, but like dirt on me in the grave. And I'm like,  I refuse. And I pull you down in there. You know, like that's, that's what friendship is.

Yeah. Like I think, I don't, I don't know anybody that has ever had perfect.  Best friendship. Like, think about like But we don't have perfect marriages, so why do we expect to have like these perfect relationships? Um, well, Sam, it's healthy. Like, we go through waves. Like, I don't ever want to fight to the point where we're not talking, but  When that has happened in the past, I'm like, that just doesn't settle well with me because you are a very important person to me that I'm going to reach out and how many times did I did reach out?

I'm like, are we okay? Are we? And you'd be like, we're fine. We're fine. I'm like, I don't think we are. Yeah, that's me being like, I'm not gonna talk to you about this. What is going on? You know, it's just, it has to be two way. And so if people aren't gonna be like that, just let them, let them be dead. I'm not gonna resurrect you, bitch.

It's like the Mel Robbins. It's the let them theory. It's such a good, Oh, I haven't heard that. Well, my dad always would say, let stupid people be stupid. Yeah. And that's Mel Robbins is like, let them, let them do that. Like why do you care so much what other people are doing? Yeah. Oh no, I'm totally in a place now too.

If like, if you want to cut me off, it just got really bright in here and I can't see. I love it. I'm taking in all the lights.  It's so yummy.  I am the light. Can we go swimming? Um, it's probably, is it open? Oh, pool grandpa's probably here. It's open, I'm like, what's going on out there? Yeah, pool grandpa's probably out there cleaning.

You got like a grandpa who cleans your pool? My mom, I think, has a crush on him. Yeah. Oooh. I know, he's married, and I say, Mom! She's just looking. He's married, and she's just like, It doesn't hurt to have fun. I'm like, Mom!  She's just looking. We are not those women! Hell no. Anyways, back to the friendship thing.

Also, making friends  at our age  is really hard too.  Like how many, how often do you like make new friends, Sam?   I don't know. Well, actually I just made friends with St. George eats.  How did you make? Make friends with her. Well,  I was friends with the original owner of St. George eats and then new St. George eats as Ryan and I reached out to her because I need to collaborate with her for the clients that I have, you know, St.

George eats has been like, right. They're a big deal. A huge part of like a lot of my clients here locally, right? Restaurants. Yeah. Well, and even just the shops at Zion's. Yeah, but  so I had reached out to her and then like we really just clicked. And I was like, well, I actually like want to hang out and like, you know, she's come over and we've  had too many drinks.

She is really sweet. She is really sweet. I liked her at your vision party. I was like, I could be friends with this person. But yeah, so I guess that's how I made friends with her. But you know, I was just going to say also, I really kind of miss just having friends who are friends and it's not like, yeah.

Yeah. But also my, what we're doing right now doesn't really feel like business, but I am going to go post it on my Instagram. Right. Does that make sense? We're just creative outside of friendship too, which I get. But also just finding like, so I went to a birthday party last weekend.  It was one of Brooklyn's friends.

Her mom's like really cool. I was thinking adult birthday. I was like, well, she was nice. How dare other people have birthdays. The moms that were there were like, I know  the moms that were there or the same age as me. So it's like, that's another thing too. It's rare to like find women that are the same age.

Like sometimes I like see someone cool and I'm like, Oh cool. You're 28.  What are we going to have in common? You know, but the moms that were like really nice. And I just was open, like not in a like TMI open, but like in a. Like friendly, I'm gonna talk to you, I'm gonna hold conversation and be friends. And then at the end of the birthday party, like the parents all like kind of hugged, 'cause it was at the gymnastic place and they were, they were really cool with my kids, like they played with them.

And so at the end, like they came in to hugged me and I was like, Hey, this was really nice. It was like so great to meet you. And they were like, you're awesome. It was really good to meet you too. And I was like, are you on Instagram? You know? And I was just like, we need to do this again. And then we exchanged Instagram handles and now we're like talking dms and commenting on each stuff.

Did you start like a group chat?  No, that's what you should do. That should be your next level. Do they're super into fitness and I just, I don't know that I could keep up. Like I love their personalities, but I, I feel like hanging out is going to include burpees and  I don't think I can do that.  I work out every day, but I don't make you do burpees with, well, I don't come work out with you.

No, I do. I'm all happy. I don't do workout friends. No, because I feel like we're all on our own unique journey and then I struggle to with like listening to my body as well Yeah, like hey, I'm going to or just like I'm going a little bit later I flow a lot with like based on what I have to do You have to you have to be like that and I think like if you had like a running partner or something you you push Yourself trying to keep up and it's like I'd rather I'm a in my own lane type person when it comes to working out For me for sure right now.

Yeah, so yeah, we don't do that. But They could be friends. And then I have like, this is what I'm doing for my workout today. Cause I've had quite a few people are like, Hey, when I come to the gym with you and I was like,  I'd rather you didn't. Like, I'll meet you there. Oh, wave at you. And you can do your thing over there.

And I'll have my headphones over here. That's fine. Yeah. That is fine. Good. You know, I showered at the gym yesterday. Gross. Well,  I don't know why I felt like I needed to tell you that because it was weird. First of all, did you wear sandals? I did not. Oh! But listen, it's because I didn't really think about it.

And I soon You got naked in a locker room? Yeah, but no, because I mean, technically I was naked in the building, but the new summit, the gym I go to is super nice. Yeah. And the locker rooms are super nice. And you have your own like shower, like little room. Okay. So it's like a closed door. It's not an open shower.

No, it's a closed locked door. And it has a bench. So you get dressed and everything right there. Yeah. But the reason why I did is because I had a wax at nine. Yeah. Oh, and you need to be fresh. And I was not going with stinky ass. And I'm on my period. So I was like, I'm not giving her stinky period. Right. I get that.

And I want to didn't want to miss my workout. And I was like, I know I'm at the gym till late 30. So I just did a quick shower off. Yeah. It runs off. That's fine. And then I put on like new yoga pants, new workout pants. Right. See, I just get traumatized from like high school with the big open, everybody shares the shower.

I never showered in P. E. I was like, uh, double up on deodorant. And I remember she would turn the showers on and be like, can you guys pretended like you showered, pretended.  But dude, even the lockers, this is why this. I'm bringing this up because I was like, shit, I don't have a lock. I guess I'm going to carry my backpack around with me.

Yeah. And then I went in there and I was like, Oh, they're just these cool little, like you just set them for the day or for the moment that you're using them. Yeah. And I was like, God, this is nice. That is nice. This is nice. Yeah. And they have a big bar with a big giant mirror. So there's lots of space to get ready to do your makeup.

Wow. Like why, why is this just now becoming a thing? Like why weren't gyms doing this forever ago? Well, they had. At the other gym, the older one, I mean, they have a big locker room and stuff, but I mean, it's just not nice like this and you just have a little shower curtain. Which you're just like, whatever.

I guess if someone sees me as they peer by. You do not want that shower curtain touching you like, ugh, no thanks. No, this was so nice and so freaking clean. They have a girl in there like, almost every time I go in to use the bathroom, because I'm always like, I'm going to pee myself partway through my workout.

There's always a lady in there cleaning. Well, you drink more water than anybody I know. I'm like, my goal is to drink as much as you. I love water. I love it. Champagne? Yes. Yeah, I'm still waiting for my refill. Okay. Well, shall we wrap this? Let's do it.  Okay. Amy, thanks for being on my very first episode of the Samantha Parker show.

Absolutely. With Amy. Cheers. Cheers.  And don't forget, you guys, you can follow Amy, the brandographer. The underscore brandographer. There's some weirdos out there. Cause you're the shiz. Oh, thank you. So if you go to search Amy and you're like, who's this Amy? Search the brandographer. Quite entertaining. And you'll find her.

I'll be there.  Thank you.  Till next time.