The Samantha Parker Show

Sobriety Brought Her Freedom, Health, and Wealth with Danielle Digrandi

• Samantha Parker, Danielle Digrandi • Season 1 • Episode 28

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We’re diving into sobriety and entrepreneurship with my guest, the awesome “sober rebel” Danielle Digrandi. She brings some serious insights on building healthy relationships through sobriety with money and why financial independence is so important. Danielle’s all about finding ways to turn her passions and her core theme is: FREEDOM!

We got real about sobriety, and Danielle shared her story about quitting drinking on April Fools’ Day in 2019. For her, sobriety is a path to freedom, breaking out of what she called a “self-imposed prison” and rethinking her career and relationships.

Watching her shift from a 9-to-5 to creating her own schedule is super inspiring. Danielle’s all about designing a life she loves and staying independent. She is focusing on gut health and simple habits like walking, mindfulness, and keeping an 80/20 balance with food.

We also spilled tea about how social media only shows the highlight reel.

Since moving, she even started a networking group to unite people post-pandemic. Danielle’s journey isn’t just about sobriety, it’s about taking control, sharing real stories, and inspiring others along the way.

If you’re looking for some real talk on sobriety, entrepreneurship, or just living life on your terms, this conversation has so many good nuggets for you!

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 sobriety is like one of the most rebellious things you can do in today's day and age, because everything we were taught is that alcohol makes us cooler, more likable with better connection.

It's just like all of these lies that we thought if we drank would become, and you know, for us, obviously the opposite happened, but I was just like, I think that sobriety is. An active rebellion in itself. 

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 Hey guys, welcome back to the Samantha Parker show today. I'm sitting down with the one and only Danielle DeGrande. And I would say you are more, we could call you the sober rebel, but I think you're a baddie. You're a total badass.  Thank you. The feeling is so mutual. Happy to be here and honored to be on your podcast. 

And you know, I haven't been doing podcasts on zoom at all. I was like, I don't want to do them. And so this is my first podcast back on like virtually.  Oh, really? I was not sure if we were going to be virtual, if it was just going to be recorded. So I love it. I love being able to see you. Oh, I have to see people.

I'm like, can I please see you?  Okay. To get the vibe of the person. Yeah. My goal is to do most of my podcasts in person, but I think until, you know, I hit that like caller daddy or Theo Vaughn level, I can't like demand that people fly out to see me.  I'm just hoping for an invitation out to St. George because it looks so fun.

Oh, well, let this be your formal invitation. Would you like to come? I want to go play in the desert with you. Do you want to come to Southern Utah? I can do a whole tour. We can do all sorts of badass stuff. But mostly we would just like film ourselves, you know? Yeah, film ourselves and have fun in summer.

It almost OnlyFans, but maybe we are. We don't know.  Who knows? Who knows? Lucas, no, I'm just kidding.   So Danielle, I really wanted to have you on my podcast today because you have been a big part and with my sobriety. We had a conversation, I think I was like still hung over. And I was like, yeah, I was, I was like, I'm having a mental breakdown.

I like, this has to be like totally separate from what we were even talking about. And I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do next. And you were like, you should go to rehab. Like we talked about all the things, but I think that having that conversation with you helped me so much because,   I think it's really hard because we don't realize that they're like.

You know, surface level, successful looking people or, you know, we kind of, when we think of alcoholics or addicts, whatever you want to classify, I am always like, there's that stereotype that comes into my head and I'm like, but I'm not that person. And so to have a conversation with someone where I felt like we were equals and I was like, I really need help.

It was like, it was fucking phenomenal.  You didn't want to have the conversation. I think we went through our entire conversation and like you almost opened the door and I was like, no, we're going to talk about this.  And then it lasted like 30 minutes. I was just going back and forth talking about the reality of what you were going through and how. 

Yeah, and I even wrote down like in my notebook, don't mention this to Danielle, like, because I have so many notes to go through, because I was like, I don't want to bring my personal life into this conversation.  But okay, you're sober. You've been sober for five years. Yes.  Yeah, a little over five years. I got sober on April Fool's of all days.

Oh, you did?  In 2019, yeah.  You know what I've loved is I've been sharing my sobriety journey on TikTok. So it's been kind of interesting and I get a lot of like, why? Like, or what was the deciding thing? Like people want one pinpoint moment of why I got sober, but I don't have those moments. Like, do you have like one big moment or was it like a catastrophe?

 I feel like it was,  it was something that I really grappled with. Like I was the person when I was first, I think like around age 22 was when like, I knew I just didn't drink like a normal person. I remember I was using like Google to actually like type in, am I an alcoholic? Like, I don't know if anyone else can relate to that, but I was like identifying with all the signs, but I didn't want to.

I was young. I didn't want to think that like, that could be my life. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol. And for me, it was like a series of events that led to  just this place of getting so sick of my own shit. And so sick of fighting against this, that like, it just came to a point of complete surrender.

But it was, uh,  It was like a domino effect, right? It just got worse and worse and worse and worse, and me trying to fight it, like, I just had to throw my hands up. And so I think it was multiple rock bottom moments that led to, like, a moment where I put my white flag up and I was like, I surrender to this. 

I know, and I think even the moment when I was like, hey, I'm done, like, I can't do this anymore, I was sick of my own shit, it wasn't even, like, anything big, like, I could have just, like, So I put under the rug and gone on like normal, you know, yeah, yeah I think you just get to a point people always ask that right because we have like all of the things that people think like Nobody else can get you sober.

Not your family. Not your job. Not anything like nothing outside of you It has to come from you. And so I think it's just this this like point when people ask like, how did you do it? I'm like, well, there's multiple things that like Pushed me in this direction, multiple people that helped like conversations similar to what you were talking about with the conversation with me.

But it just got to a point where I had to look in the mirror and it's like, I just can't keep living this way. And I'm going to choose, I'm going to choose to get off this merry go round, this ride per se, and, and try this, this way of life.  So do you have any, like, connections to why you did drink? This is, I'm going off of all the things that people have been asking me lately.

They're like, well, why did you drink? Or why do you drink? Like, have you seen any connections to events?  You know, I, now that I am 30, almost 39 years old, I am, like, being in the space of, sobriety and just learning more about, you know, mental health and behaviors and just, you know, more about more awareness than I had, you know, when I was younger, I think that there's a few things that now that I realize, like, that makes a lot of sense.

So when I was younger, um, a big thing, I think that I was trying to soothe was, um, some like mental health stuff, right? Anxiety, ADHD, like some things that were going on within my body that I was trying to like, you know, get out of just these really anxious feelings. Um,  that's probably like, I would say self soothing was a big thing.

Um, I would say another one would be like, Just as a kid, I had a lot of bullying, a lot of like trying to fit in per se. That was a big one for me. I think that's one of the big things that really fueled like high school and just my experimenting and starting to do that. Um, and then linked to trauma, childhood trauma for sure.

And my father getting really sick at a young age. So I think just like all of these little things that happened when I was, little, right? And seeing that like, oh, there is a way that when I do this thing,  I drink or I smoke, I don't feel as uncomfortable in my body and my brain. And this feels better. And it's almost like, uh, it was almost like a fantasy, a detachment from reality per se that felt safe in my nervous system and in my body. 

Like, well, that's accurate as it's like, I want that numbing feeling. And you know, what's so odd about alcohol is like, it makes you feel safe. And I don't really understand it because when you drink, you're completely unsafe.  It's so crazy. I've actually never heard anyone say it like that, but I always used to say like alcohol was my best friend.

Like it was my warm and fuzzy place. So now that you say that, like, that's a perfect way to describe it, but it's the complete opposite of what it actually does. Cause you're very right. I've been very unsafe when I drink alcohol.  I mean, you can't even like operate a vehicle. So it's like, you shouldn't do anything.

You shouldn't have a phone. You shouldn't operate a vehicle. You should not like have conversations with people.  You also shouldn't be alone. It's like when you step back from alcohol, you're like, that shit is fucked up.  You're like, Oh, this is the one thing that's legal. And it's just, it's really wild to think that this is still so, you know, such a part of our society and just what we think is like, Oh, a safe way to. 

Relax and unwind.  Yeah, I've never heard it put that way. It's an unsafe thing.  But what's funny is I, I don't smoke weed. I've never liked weed. I can't, I can't handle it. Like, there's obviously some issues I have around it, but I'm like, Oh, sure. Go ahead and be drunk.  I wanted to be the person that smoked weed because I think it's like, I wanted just to shut the thoughts off and the feelings off.

But when I smoke weed, I get paranoid. So it's funny. It's like I can't and I don't have any outlet. I just have to apply it. I'm just supposed to be sober completely from everything Oh, you give me like weed and whatever issue is like just kind of sitting in my mind like One time I had a mental breakdown over like spending like 80 dollars and I thought about it and processed it for like four hours  People are like, oh, it helps me sleep.

I'm like, it does the opposite. It makes me stay up and think in my head. I know, and people are like, I love getting high. I'm like, you don't though. This has to be a lie. It just doesn't do it  for us, but it does for them, I guess.  I know, and I'm learning, like, so I go to AA. Did you ever go to AA?  I did. I went to AA multiple times.

Um, actually,  The first round of sobriety that I got, I remember I was living in New York city. So New York city was like the place that I moved to after the worst kind of a time in my life, I was like, I'm going to move to New York city and live out this dream. And it's going to go really well. And I actually went the complete opposite.

That's when like my addiction. Reared its head. People started to talk to me, like things started happening where I was calling it a work. It was just, it's just noticeably starting to affect my life. Whereas before I've always been a working professional was in a very hot, you know, fast paced, lucrative career.

I was always able to handle my shit. And so New York City was the first time I remember I went to an AA meeting. I went to, um, someone suggested it and I walked into a basement of a church. That was the first time that I went to AA, but it always was this place that I went to when I was like, needing somewhere to go because I knew like, I had two options.

I can either go Go drink alcohol right now or I can go be somewhere in support. And so AA played a very, um, important role in my sobriety at the beginning this last time too. Um, I went for about a year and then when the pandemic hit, then I kind of stepped back from it. But I always tell people, people ask me like, should I go?

I am a big fan of AA. For the beginning stages of recovery, at least in my  story.  Yeah. And I think everyone is so different. So it's like, you need to do what's best for you, you know, and. I think that a lot of people want to put like a box on it, especially if you do go to AA, they're like, this is exactly what you do.

Don't do anything else. And for me, I'm just kind of like, okay, I know I'm not going to go drink today. I'm like, but I like to go to AA because there's always something comes up or someone always says something where I'm like, oh my God, I feel that way too. And so you start to feel like, like, you're not crazy.

You're like, there's other people who think and feel the same way I do.  100 percent when I started, like, trying to get sober, there was no, I had no idea of anything in the, so the community of sobriety online, like, I wasn't connected to that. So when I stepped foot in those rooms, not only was it to like, not drink in the beginning, and it was a safe place, but just like you said, I was like, okay, I'm not completely a lost cause.

I am not, because it's one of my worst days. Someone's had one too. And it just, it was such a relief because you're right. It was like, I felt like I was so alone in like my behaviors and everyone else that was speaking. Was iterating the same thing and I was like, this is so  good to hear, like it helped me like release the shame, like the weight, the weight of the shame that I felt, um,  a hundred percent. 

So the question that people keep asking me too, like I'm getting like even all these DMs on TikTok and I love the DMs, like I just respond like very nicely, you know, because I think people are just reaching out and being like, hey, but it's always like, how did you quit? And I'm like, I don't have an answer for that. 

Like, do you have an answer? Like, how did you quit? Because you know, people ask you, I know they do.  It's the same thing, right? And once again, you know, sobriety is not one size fits all. So what worked for me doesn't necessarily might not work for somebody else. Um, because I quit many times. If you're looking at like black and white, there's many times that I quit.

Now, did it necessarily stick? For, I mean, I was somebody that I couldn't get past. Like, I think my longest time in a decade, I have so many 30 day trips. It's like, I could decorate a Christmas tree, but it was like, I couldn't get past those initial times and I just, I knew I wasn't ready. I had to like, keep going.

Uh, as crazy as that sounds like I had to keep going in order to hit my, my point. So I think it was. A combination of things, and a series of events that led to  that moment. But there's so much that goes into that, that it's hard for me to say like, it's this exact thing. It was a combination of a lot of things compounded into just like, this one time where I'm like, all right, I'm going to go a line of this now before.

I don't feel like I was ever all into my sobriety. Like I always had a loophole where I was like, well, there's this thing coming up and there's this guy and I'm like, what if I want to date? And like, you know, can I, I was always giving myself an excuse of like, not fully making a decision. And so I think this last time it was like, Once again, I surrendered, I started putting myself like in places where I was prioritizing my recovery and I started like actually diving into doing the work, whereas before I was just like, Oh, this would be cool.

So it was a lot of things that  came into one.  I  know. I'm like, there's no, I don't know. Like, how did humans get on earth? Like, that's an easier question.  It's like never the right time, you know, like there was never the right time. There's never the right time to get sober.  The one thing I used to say, because I, I didn't realize this until now, but I did have like a full blown, I didn't realize this, it's like I was a different person, but I had a full blown like, sobriety attempt in 2020, um, but at the time, you know what I said, and I told people this, it's so funny looking back now, I was like, I was just re evaluating my relationship with alcohol, and people were like, that's amazing, but like, I was a fucking, I'm a fucking alcoholic, like,  like what? 

Should that we say that like I tried everything in my power to change everything else so that I wouldn't have to give up drinking like I tried every other thing so that it wouldn't have to be that just so that I could fix all the other stuff, but then I could still have the alcohol when really the only thing that was going to fix anything was removing the alcohol because with that I was.

I was in denial. And so I did, like, I did this last time. I did go to treatment.  I did do ayahuasca. I did go to outpatient. I did live in sober living for a year. I did, like, my step work. I did all of the things  that I had been not wanting to do in the past. And I think that just, like, once again, just making that decision and then  Centering like a big part of my life around making sure that this like stuck this time was really the catalyst for the five plus years I have now.

What did you get in your ayahuasca journey? I have to ask. I know it's a, it's one of those things where I was no, it's interesting, you know, in life when people tell you like you should or shouldn't do something. So I got a lot of pushback for that. Because it could go one of two ways. And I was in,  I literally got off the plane out of treatment and boarded a plane to Brazil.

And so for me, like I had actually seen it on the Chelsea handler show, and I had done a lot of research about it.  And I was in a place where I had done a lot of other things that hadn't worked.  And my sister who's actually, it's funny. So my sister is also in recovery  and, she had done it. And we had like a really strange relationship and my sobriety like I, I was estranged from my whole family just doing my thing.

But she was like, I really think this could help you. So my parents were like, okay, we're going to, we're going to lose her in Brazil. And she's not coming back from this one.  But I went and I actually like for me in that point in my life, it was actually one of the most transformative experiences. I don't think it's for everyone.

It was that one time for me, but I definitely feel like. I got so much,  in that ceremony, there was so much rewiring of like my thoughts and I was just able to forgive myself on a level and I felt so unsafe for so much of like my, the end of my sobriety that I just felt like it was a place where I was able to process a lot of emotions and then leave there.

Like  just as determined to make this work as ever makes sense. Oh, that's beautiful, because I have actually, I have one friend in particular who stands out in my head, I still reach out to her every now and then, but I say, I'm like, she's a spiritual drug addict, like she, you know, she's always like having these spiritual things, and I'm like, girl, you're shooting up ketamine, you're, you are a drug addict.

You know,  so I, there's also a, an addiction to that, which exactly what you said. And I've seen a lot of people, like if you're sitting in a ceremony for X amount of time, you know, multiple times, like, what are you looking to get out of that? I think there's a time and a place for things, but it also,  like anything, it can just be a, you can transfer your addiction to something else. 

Okay. And this is one of, this is one of the questions we're gonna talk about later. So I love, what I love about you is you have your sober story, which we kind of like, I don't know, maybe scratched at the surface.  , we should do a deep dive. We're here now.  I feel like we've just scratched the surface 'cause it's so, like people in their addictions especially, I can only speak about alcohol because that's what I'm experiencing.

Yeah. It's so deep. You know, it's so fucking deep.  Um, but okay, one thing that you talk about a lot is freedom and when, well, so just for some backstory here, I was, Danielle and I were working together. We did some content for her, was managing your social media for a couple of months, helped you start your TikTok, which I love your TikTok. 

I'm so grateful for you. You literally changed my life. I can't explain like how much you've changed my life. So. Same. I'm so grateful. I know, I know we were meant to be.  Oh, but one thing you would say like, you know, in a lot of your messaging, and I mean I was typing it out on the screen for you, um, was freedom.

You were talking about the freedom from alcohol and I was like, that's interesting, you know, but  to really experience it. But I feel like you have freedom, like your life theme really is freedom, but it's like a lot of things. Like, what does that mean to you?  So I've talked about this before, and I guess this is, I'm going to paint the picture that I think that kind of encompasses this.

When I feel like when I was in my addiction, I was living in like self imposed prison. That's really how I felt. Like no matter how Much. I made promises to myself where I said I wasn't gonna do it, or it's like I kept going back to the one thing that was causing me a lot of pain. So it felt like a self imposed prison.

It really, really did. And so when I got sober, I realized like how much freedom I felt in my life. And I was like, can I duplicate this feeling of freedom and sobriety and all these other areas of my life? Because once I got sober, it was like, I took the rose gold color, rose colored glasses off. And I was like, all right, like everything I've done up until this point,  is this like, does this really make sense?

The careers that I had, the relationships that I had, the choices that I made, I think a lot of them were, you know, I was just kind of living Um, I just settling in life because I was so  my self esteem was so low. I was so like living by other people's opinions of how I should live. I just, I cared so much about what other people thought of me and I just was kind of like  below the radar.

So when I got sober, I was like, okay, I feel like I'm taking my power back. I built a sense of confidence and I was like, okay, what if I, now that I'm sober, what if I Get my health back. What if I find like freedom in my health? Because I, once I got sober, my health was terrible. And then that's something I really like started to work on.

And I was like, all right, what if I create freedom in my lifestyle? And what if I create freedom in the jobs, the work that I do? And I just like started to replicate that whole thing and just really take a look at everything that I, society told me to do and be like, fuck that, but I'm going to do it my way.

And so that's kind of like the overall theme of how I live my life. But now it's kind of like, is this?  My thought, is this really like how I think, or is this like what I've been conditioned to think? Um, and that's kind of like, I feel like that's like the theme of my life is just like trying to really figure out like how to live my most authentic life.

That's true to me.  I love that. So how have you kind of applied it to other areas of your life? Because technically you work for yourself. Like, I, I've seen the other areas of your life, like you get to design your days, however the fuck you want, you know, like, what does that look like for you?  And it wasn't like that at first, but that was the goal in, like, once I started, cause when I started in spreading, like I had worked a full time job and I loved it.

I was happy with doing things, but I wanted to have, I don't like to be told what to do.  At all. Like it's like, since I was a child, it's like, I don't like to follow the rules. And so I like want to make my own rule book. So for me, yes. Designing my day, choosing when and where I want to live. I feel like life is too short to not do the things.

And so I want to be able to have like, one of the driving factors was like, I want to be able to call the shots in my life. I want to be able to dictate. My days. I wanna be able to dictate how I do things.  I love that though. I, you know, I have the hardest time with like, time, I call it time traps. Like I have a hard time with like, even I'm like, fuck, I have to be on this zoom at one.

You know what I'm saying? I don't know what it is, but I'm like, what if I don't wanna be on at one? Like, I like to have freedom over my time.  I think it's time of time, freedom, location, freedom.  And of course there's always like things that we have to do, but  yeah, I just like, I want to be able to do things on my terms. 

Okay, well,  that's the cool thing. I mean, yeah, I  figured it out.  You did.  Okay, so you talk a lot about upleveling your health and wealth and prioritizing your health and wealth. So, what are the things you do? Let's start with your health. Like, what are just some priorities for health that you're like, This is what I do.

Well, how about we do this? Like, what do you do every day for your health? Hmm. Okay. Um, and this it's evolved. It's definitely evolved, but as I mentioned, when I got sober, I had always made my promise to myself. Cause I'd always been somebody that like.  I was interested in being healthy, but then I lived a very unhealthy lifestyle.

And so when I got sober, my main focus, I was like, if I can focus on my health and get myself back to a better place, like that's the only, that's my biggest focus right now. And as a result of doing that, I feel like everything else got better. And so because I was in such a bad place, I think it just became like something that I really focused on.

And then it just became who I was like doing these things have just, I've done them for. Five years now. And so I think my biggest thing is just  like, what are some, you know, you know, yeah, some basic things. Okay. So I shared this with you walking every day. Walking was a huge thing in sobriety. I'm a huge fan of walking.

I'm a huge fan of habit stacking. So whenever I walk in the morning, I lace up my dog. I get out in nature,  get out and get some sunlight in my eyes. And then I have it stacked with a podcast. I'm always listening to a podcast, trying to like expand the way that I think, get out of my head. Because if I wake up in the morning and I don't listen to something, I start getting in my head.

So it's the best way for me to program myself in the morning. , I walk every day. I  do a lot of like journaling and mindfulness. , I'm not a perfect meditator, but.  working out movement every single day of some sort, right? So they're lifting Pilates or on rest days, we're still walking, um, supplementation,  proper, like healthy foods, trying to eat healthy foods to the best of my ability.

I'm not super strict. I'm like an 80, 20 kind of person.  And just, that's pretty much the things that I do on repeat every single day.  And then for your wealth, what do you kind of like, what are your healthy wealth habits?  What do you mean by that? Well, oh, it says right in your bio, uplevel your health and your wealth. 

I think that like for a long time,  money was something that was really intimidating for me. I was, you know, especially with  just everything that happened in my life. I feel like  Because of the years that I kind of lost, I feel like when I got sober, I was starting over. So just really educating myself financially, really having like a very healthy relationship with my money.

 Having multiple streams of income, having like ways to be able to combine.  What I love, what I'm good at,  and kind of my story to be able to help people, um, in multiple ways. So I think just having a really healthy relationship with money and realizing that like  there's so much money to be made and that it's You know just having that ability to  Really be able to support myself like I feel like money is a tool for safety and for me at least and so Creating more of that to really support the life that I really want to live  So I think when I think of like wealth habits, it's like I think you probably have some non negotiables.

So Um, you do happy juice you do mra you have amazing supplements  Um, and I love that you talk about your gut health because once you got sober, it's like you had to repair your body. Yes. And so, um, but I know part of what you do is like building your business. So it's like every day, you know, do you have like non negotiables like, you know, you can't, well, it's kind of like, you know, the saying, like, you can't just like wish and hope for success.

You have to actually take action.  So like, what are some of the things you do that are like must haves to like keep your wealth and your business going?  Well, that's so good. I love that. I've never been asked this question. So it's really good to like, so I actually have a daily tracker that I follow of just kind of my tasks to do every single day of growing my business.

I'm always trying to connect with new people. I do a lot of in person networking. I actually just started a networking group here in Charlotte. I just moved to Charlotte from Austin, Texas. And so I'm just trying like, I believe this is the, my personal thing. I believe that like relationships drive business and income.

And so I'm always working towards. Meeting new people, putting myself out there, having conversations, really sharing the opportunity, um, with my business as a way for women to make money from their phones to have more, you know, income and always just sharing the products that I stand by, whether that be Amari or other things.

Um, so that I know people are looking for it. And so if I can be the person that's like, Hey, this really helped me in this area of my life, whether it was my sobriety or my health, or this helps me be a better business owner.  I'm always just trying to share all of the things that I utilize that have really worked for me along the way. 

And I think that's awesome. I know. I saw that you started a Charlotte networking group. I saw that because it looks so.  It looked boozy.  I had a really  We had a really big one in Austin a more sober focused one and I do, like my passion is definitely lies in sobriety but I also think that kind of like we talked about,  just because I'm sober doesn't mean that I don't Like to collaborate with people that drink alcohol.

Um, so I'm always looking for ways as an entrepreneur to, it's interesting though that what I learned last night, but I'm always looking for ways to like bring more community and connection together because I think just after the pandemic, just in the world that we live in, so many people create in person connection.

And as you're an adult, like as you get older, it's kind of hard to meet people. Um, so you gotta get out of your house and do the things. And I've always just been someone where like, how can I be.  If this is what I'm looking for, I know other people are looking for it too, so how can I just create that space and then what evolves out of that will happen organically. 

I think you have to take a second too and realize like it's super brave to talk about the facts that you're like, hey, I'm sober, I was an addict, I'm clean, and then even to like start your own networking group. Because,  I do a lot of stuff where I live locally in St. George and people are like, Oh my gosh, like you're just doing all these cool things.

And, or, you know, I'll travel and I'll go to masterminds and like,  you know, um, my Instagram life looks pretty amazing. I mean, I'm like in awe of your life, honestly, I think you have the coolest life, you inspire me to go bigger. I mean, you're a networking event. I asked you about that, but I feel like you're always like, you're very.

It feels like to me, like, you're very people facing and relationship building, like, that's an important thing to you. Yeah, but for some reason I really, like, it just keeps coming in my head as I want to talk about is, like, it's actually, it's really fucking scary. Like It's not easy to start these networking groups.

There's, you know, always someone who's mad at me about something. Um, recently I feel like I can't open Instagram without seeing a video about me. And I'm like, just doing my thing, you know? And so, but I want people to realize, like, these things are fucking scary. It's scary to get sober. It's scary to start your own business.

It's scary to start a networking group.  But we fucking do it anyways.  Every day, every single day. Yeah, I mean, it's like my preferred  method of operating is introverted. At home. And like, that's my comfort. It's safe. I like, that's what I want to do every day. So every time I have the things come up, I'm like, I'd rather just, what if I just postpone it?

Or what if I just do it later? That's like the theme. Similar to sobriety. What if I just push it off a little longer? And I think like, yeah, the theme of my life is like, how can I just do the thing? Like step over the line and do the thing. Cause every time I do it, I always feel a little bit more confident and better, and so that's kind of the season that I feel like I'm in.

Yeah, I just want people to know, like, these things, you know, I think sometimes we look at other people through the lens of the phone now, you know, and we're like, oh look at them, I don't, I'm not that confident, I don't have those resources, and I'm like, no, we're just like scrappy and scared.  Instagram's really messed up.

It's all messed up, right? It's everyone's highlight reel. So yeah, it's,   definitely have to like take like Instagram and reality are two different things.  Yeah. But I'm like, you know, I'm just fucking doing it anyways.  And I can't feel the fear and do it anyways. Yeah. Or fuck your fear and do it anyways. 

Um, okay. So obviously you, you have an addictive personality and I'm raising my hand there with you. Where do you see other addictive patterns like show up in your life as well? Hmm. Well, I, you probably know this one.  I definitely feel like my addictive personality, it comes in a lot of ways. So I definitely feel like there's an addiction to dopamine. 

And so I talk a lot about dopamine and getting healthy dopamine, because I can balance out the unhealthy dopamine. I definitely feel like there is an addiction to dopamine. Um, fitness, but not an extreme way. I actually think that that's a pretty like moderate one, but I think that for me, my biggest thing is like a lot of perfectionism, a lot, a lot of holding myself to a really like high standard.

I always have to ask myself, you know, when I talk to my best friend this way, or when I put this much pressure on someone else, I think I just, I think it just was like a level of control.  Yeah,  I think, okay, let's go back to even what you said, and this might push you a little bit, is you're like, I like to be at home, you know, I like to work from home, and it's because we like to control our environment, and I'm like, if I can control my environment, everything is safe, and I won't slip into something else, which that right there in itself is an addictive behavior. 

I think we nailed that one.  You're like, thank you, moving on. I had my tarot cards read the other night at a networking event that I went to, and she pulled the, uh, the withdrawn card, and it was like, withdrawn, isolated, and she's like, is this a comfortable place for you? And I was like, yeah, in my addiction, like, I was the kind of person that I liked to drink alone, by myself, where no one could tell me how much I was drinking, like, I just wanted to be myself.

Out on the porch with a pack of cigarettes and an endless amount of alcohol with like nothing, you know That's just like how I was like that makes a lot of sense But that is the preferred way that I like to operate still so  just like you said  Um, but i've had to really watch myself and think like am I shifting like one addiction for another?

I think the phone is always a great way that we like to numb out and so i'm like  I'm like, okay, I can see where I'm like leaning into scrolling a little heavily and not wanting to face reality. , and the other thing too is someone, my nail girl was like, I think you've traded alcohol for caffeine and I'm like, you know, at this point, I'm fucking fine with that.

Yeah, I still, I mean, I, yeah, it's always been like a thing where I'm, I think that there's something, and I don't know if you can relate, um, cause I've heard this from multiple people, but like when you get sober, like, It's like having a drink always multiple drinks. It's the drink.  Yeah. So it's like I have a never ending like quench for beverages, so like I don't put a cap on that.

I'm one of those people that's like, all right, like if this makes me happy in this moment, I'm going to do it. That's probably in a very addictive personality trait right there. Like if it feels good in this moment, I'll do it. So I feel you with, with that, the drinks and the caffeine and all the things.

But I'm like if I'm gonna go through the rest of my life like having dopamine hits from non alcoholic drinks Then I'm gonna fucking do it and I'm like, I'm gonna be shameless about it I know it's always something that we justify right? It's like pick your battle Right and it's like when you take away all of your vices, right?

I recently gave up vaping which was like one of the only advice I had left that I loved to do I love sitting and just  Vaping at night. And now that I know that I'm like,  if you're gonna take everything from me, then like, it's okay if I make some. So it's, yeah, I feel like I'm constantly working on those things as well. 

I know, but I think there's just a point where I'm like, I actually think we're here to enjoy life. And I'm like, if I want to make my pretty little drinks and my pretty little fucking cups, I'm going to do it, you know? Then do it for the dopamine.  It's totally like, I was already thinking, I'm like, when we get off this call, I'm going to get out some pebble ice and pour a diet Coke into it. 

I need to get a pebble ice maker. I've seen those and they bring me so much joy. And I'm like, I do have one.  , well, the fridge here in my office has like, they're not quite pebble, they're just like a little bigger, they're like little round chunk, they're, they're epic. It's epic ice.  I know, I need an epic ice maker.

It's seriously the little things though. I did have a pebble ice maker and I loved it because I'm picky with my water. It's so fu I love where I'm at in sobriety right now because I'll say shit and I'm like, I've had my water delivered for like five years. I am very picky with my water but it's totally cool to pour poison in my body every week. 

It's such a paradox, right? I mean it's all the things that we were like, oh I won't do that but I'll do this. I'm like, I'm above that.   But I loved having my pebble ice maker but the problem is, is like, they're like five, six hundred bucks, right? I got them for 2. 99. Okay, but, so like, I buy one and they only last about a year.

And you'll hear this from everybody. And so, to me, I've gotten to the point where I'm like, I'm not buying another one. But I liked it because I could put my special water in it.  Yeah, I think it's worth it. If you think about all the money you're saving for not drinking, then the  600 a year pebble ice machine isn't that bad.

Okay, now this is true.   There's a lady in AA.  Yes, no, this lady in AA the other day, and just scooting back to AA, AA can feel a little intense for people that are going the first time. And so I think you need to find out what's going to work for you. And I only go to the women's meetings.  They go, it's Monday nights.

It's like the one, I guess they call it your home group. I don't know. Sometimes some of the stuff.  I'm not participating in these words, but I know that that's the thing that, yeah, I feel you on them.  It's like, and then once in a while, I'll go to a Wednesday meeting. That's like, during the day. And it's a women's group as well, and so, like, you just have to find what works for you.

But anyways, this lady at the 1 of the meetings, she said, um. She took all the money that she had been spending on alcohol every month, and I would say she was, because I'm a high functioning alcoholic, and I think there's different, you know, strokes for different folks, but um, I think she said she was spending like, it was over a thousand dollars a month on alcohol, and so she had just, for the last few years, been putting that in savings, and then she was like, and now she has, she like put a down payment on a house, because it was so much money, and everyone was like, what? 

It was wild. Crazy though, right? I mean, I don't like, yeah, I think about just  like nowadays, because I did spend a lot of money on extracurricular activities and alcohol. I'm just like, you know, going out and having drinks and dinner, like in this day and age, it's like crazy.  Yeah, it is. So  you kind of go by like your nickname online is like the sober rebel. 

And then I saw that you posted like a rebel manifesto  and I was like, that's dope as hell because I think it's like taking the term rebel and, I think when we think again, a stereotype, you know, you're thinking rebel. But you took it and you're like, Hey, I'm going to rebel against like these typical systems.

Like we don't need alcohol. We don't need to work this like what school says we should do. We don't need to do X, Y, and Z. And I was like, that's fucking rad.  I remember when I came to the term, I was like thinking about what type of woman that I wanted to work with. And then I put the two together and I was like, but sobriety is like one of the most rebellious things you can do in today's day and age, because everything we were taught is that alcohol makes us cooler, more likable with better connection.

It's just like all of these lies that we thought if we drank would become, and you know, for us, obviously the opposite happened, but I was just like, I think that sobriety is. An active rebellion in itself. And it's not like a, an angry thing, but it's, it's a way of just rebelling against, I believe, something that keeps you small and stuck, at least for me in my life.

That was alcohol. No, I was like, I love Sober Rebel was born. I think, I think, not that you need like my advice.  this is not your advice. I think you should take this rebel manifesto and you should like put it everywhere and you should be like, what's your rebel manifesto? What's yours? I'm obsessed with it. 

I'm so happy it resonated with you.   You know, it's funny though. I think that we're, so I live in Utah, which is predominantly Mormon, of course. Especially when you get into the smaller towns, it gets more Mormon, you know, outside of Salt Lake. Salt Lake has gotten pretty liberal, which is really interesting.

But anyways.  It's. Really, I feel like the people that were rebels were the ones that were drinking, you know, because it's like outside of the religion and outside of the norm. And you know what I keep thinking? This thought probably pops in my head every day as I'm like, how do all these fucking Mormons not drink?

Like, how are they doing it?  So they're like, we cracked the code. So great.  I'm like, how are these bitches not drinkers?  No, it's not. I've always been, I've always been like  a troublemaker. I've always been like, I would got like, it's just how I, so I'm like, okay, yeah. It was like a rebel for the bad things, but like, why can't I transfer my gathering silver?

Why can't I transfer my being a rebel is just who I am. Right. That's just like, why can't I transfer it towards. Good. If I was using it towards bad and the fact that we have to put a label and say bad, but if I was using it for those types of behaviors, now that I'm sober, what if I funnel it into bad action?

That's, that's good for me. Well, I think it's epic. Okay. So Daniela, how did, last question here, how did you kind of get over like the shame of your story? You know, like, how did you get kind of brave enough to talk about it?  Yeah. I think like if there was one thing that encompasses My, I think just in life, like what keeps us small, stuck, any of the things that shame and I know for me,  I had so much shame and my sobriety because of all the things that I did and all the things that I don't remember that I did.

Right. There's that layer of like, all the times that you blacked out or you weren't conscious and like what those things that live in your body that are stored in your body. And so when I got sober this last time, um, because of like the success that I had in the beginning of sobriety.  Like nobody thought I would get sober.

Nobody. I think people kind of like gave up on me because I just had failed so many times.  it was kind of like a joke, like, okay, she's going to get sober. I hadn't been so far off. I had been on social media, couldn't get into my like old accounts and I was having these like epiphanies and these like wins in early sobriety with my health.

And what I had, you know, learned, like, just by doing the work from my ayahuasca ceremony, from just all this, and I was like, I have to share this because so many people are struggling. And so I think within 30 days, I created a new account and I just started sharing my story. I just started sharing this, I just, It almost became, I think, kind of what you and I were talking about before, a way for me to heal.

It was almost like I shared my story as much as I could and what happened was like the feedback that I got from so many people became this encouragement to keep going. I mean, people that I used to work with, old bosses of mine, people from high school, random strangers on the internet. Sort of reaching out and like it just opened all these doors and it gave me like, okay, this is something that so many people are going through, or at least evaluating, right?

Maybe not, you maybe might not be really able to relate to my story. Um, but just opening that conversation, I think created a safe space. And so I just kept going. I just kept going with it. I kept sharing what I was doing, sharing what I was learning. Um, kept sharing like the things that I was experiencing and it just kind of took off.

And so I think that how I kept going was I just kept sharing my story as a way to heal and um,  and that's, that's my answer.  No, I love it because I'm like, I'm not trying to be the expert and I'm not trying to tell people what people want to do on TikTok, but I'm like, I, your story helped me. I feel like if I can share my story, it's going to help other people and it is helping other people, you know?

And so I'm like, I'm just talking about my own experiences and yeah, sometimes I have these waves of shame and guilt, but I would rather talk about it than just hide in the corner.  Yeah. And if we're feeling this way, then it's like,  if we can help one person, I think that's like what we, what are, what we aim for.

And then you see that you're actually helping a lot more. And  yeah, I think every time you speak, you release. Um, I don't think it ever fully goes away. Like I think it comes back up sometimes,  but I think like it's just been such a profound way to take all of that, like, because when that happens to you, you're like, what did this all happen for?

Like, okay, there's a lot of like, really, there's some good times, there's some really shitty times, like, but it wasn't all for nothing. So I'm going to use that thing that I went through, that I'm supposed to go through, that was my destiny to go through, apparently, and use it towards something good.  I think it's beautiful.

Okay, Danielle, well, we're just showing up every day and doing the fucking thing. I love your TikTok. What's your handle?  Thank you. My TikTok is at the Danielle DeGrande. And that's your Instagram too, correct? Uh huh. Yeah. Do you like how I act like I don't know?  I'm like, could you share with the class?

You have a ton of great resources. If you're interested in, you know, your health and your wealth and up leveling that way, Danielle is your girl to help you. , I know what she sells, the supplements and the products, and it's really amazing for your gut health. So go check her out. 

She's an incredible woman, and I think you'll be incredibly inspired by her. So thank you for your time today, and thank you for just being the badass rebel that you are. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I'm inspired by you.