The Samantha Parker Show

Resources That Helped (and Didn’t Help) My Sobriety and Self-Growth Journey

• Samantha Parker • Season 1 • Episode 38

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I’m spilling the tea on the resources that have shaped my decade-long self-growth journey and sharing what has been worth spending time and money on and what hasn’t. I’ve tried so many things over the years, from big names like Gary V to working with health coaches, going to retreats, and experimenting with tools for personal growth.

This journey of self-growth has helped shape my sobriety journey. Getting sober has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been life-changing in ways I never expected.

You’ll hear about what worked for me, like learning TikTok, connecting with others online, and creating boundaries that protect my inner peace. I’m also talking about the things that didn’t resonate, from certain group coaching programs to events that just didn’t vibe with me.

Trust me, I’m getting real and raw about what’s helped me grow so that you can feel less alone in your journey.

I’d love to hear about your journey or ideas for more topics. Let’s connect, maybe even pitch yourself to be on the show if you have your own sober journey you would like to have a real raw conversation about.

You don’t have to do this alone, and always remember how amazing you are at any point in your journey.

Step into Your Sober Era! Are you ready to embrace a life of clarity and empowerment? Let’s embark on this transformative journey together! [Subscribe Now ➔] Sam's Sober Stack | Samantha Parker | Substack


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  📍  📍  I'm sharing with you guys today the resources that 100 percent have been worth the money. Hey, I'm Samantha Parker and welcome to the Samantha Parker show. I have been on a decade long self growth journey and there are some things that I spent money on that were worth it and there were some things I spent money on that were not worth it.

And I'm doing a total deep dive. You're gonna hear some big names in this podcast today. People you've probably heard of. If you haven't, maybe you've been living under a rock. Actually, if you haven't, I'm really proud of you. Congrats.  But I have done some crazy things to skyrocket my self growth. I don't even know if that's the word I want to use, because I'm not going to sit here and be like, I'm this amazing self growth guru.

But really 10 years ago when I quit my job, like, well, actually it's almost been 11 years ago when I quit my job and I decided to start a social media management company. I had no idea what running a business would take, but I also think at the same time, I went on this like soul journey as well. I had to unlearn a lot about myself.

And I'm not even sure if unlearn is the right word here either. You guys, I don't know. I'm just sharing. It's a little raw, it's a little unfiltered, but that's what you get on my podcast.



So let's start it out here. We're going to do ins and we're going to do outs starting with my ins. These are the things that I love that I have done.

And then we will go through all the things that I've done that I didn't love. I would never go back and change anything. I'm just sharing my opinions. I'm sharing my experiences. And so you have to decide what's best for you. If you're thinking about like. Doing ayahuasca in the jungle. Like, you do what's best for you.

Side note, I have never done that. We might get into the philocybin journeys that I've done though,  or psilocybin. I always say it wrong and someone always messages me. They're like, it's psilocybin, not philocybin. And I'm like, well, it's spelled PH, okay? But I'm going to just really disclose what's helped me.

And share some of my journey with you guys because I know that when I share,  there are tons of people who message me and they're like, I needed to hear that. But mostly I share so that we know that we're not alone. Because when I see someone else sharing their story, sharing what they went through, what worked for them, what didn't work for them, I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's incredible.

That's so amazing. So I hope this helps. And if this helps you, please, please let me know. Or if you're watching this video on YouTube, drop me a comment. If you're listening to this podcast, please like rate and review it.  Apparently I'm supposed to be asking for those things. Apparently they help your show.

It's not something I really ever do, but if you enjoyed it. You know, five star rating. I wouldn't deny it. Or, of course, if you want to hear me talk about a topic or dive into something, come on over to Instagram. My Instagram handle is the Samantha Parker, and I will totally chat it up with you in the DMs.

Like, sometimes your guys DMs make me cry. I appreciate them so much, and I know that I'm on the right path. Like, it helps me too. So, if there's something you want to hear, something that like, maybe I didn't give enough information on, feel free to message me. Feel free to reach out. Like that's what social media is.

I am a social media manager and content creator, like for a living. And I am also now sharing my sobriety journey and doing really cool things to like, just help that community and help you on your journey. But like, that's the whole point of the apps is to be social. You know, that was my whole point there.

I'm one of those people who like gives a lot of backstory or I give a lot of side notes, but I think it's what makes me a great storyteller.  So thanks for being here today, guys. All right. So let's jump into the ins. Of course, I've got my notes right here on my phone. So resources that changed my life.

And again, you guys, a decade of self growth. I know this list I made, like doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. And I even thought to myself, like, maybe I should sit on this for a few more days. Like I already sat on it for a couple days because I know there's so much more. But you know, we'll just make them their own podcast episodes.

We'll just share about it in the future. So this is what's coming up for me right now. Um, this is legit things that have helped me and things that I kind of felt were a sham or not worth it to me, but they might be worth it to you because we're all going to have different experiences. But when I share some of these things, I'll tell you about some of the people that I met.

Like maybe if I was at, you know, a big event, like for instance, I went to Deepak Chopra for four, I think it had five days. It was five days, five days at Deepak Chopra. And there was people there who were having totally different experiences than me. So I'll try and share both sides.  But really, I can't believe I'm spilling the tea on this, but I think it's fun.

I think it's fun to spill the tea or share the lore is me and my friend Cody like to say, but yeah. Okay. Let's do this. All right. So the very first thing that I feel like has helped me the most , and it might sound a little cheesy, but honestly, like four or five years ago, I sat down and I was like, I have to learn TikTok. 

And you're like, what does that have to do with sobriety? What does that have to do with your journey? It's just a piece of it. So listen, I knew that TikTok was going to be a huge game changer for so many people. And obviously what I do for a living, you know, like I go out and I get content for clients.

We execute that content as them. Like it was a skill that I knew I was going to need to develop. But I also saw TikTok as this opportunity of I could share my journey. What I also really enjoy about TikTok is that so many people are sharing their journeys and we're all getting to learn from each other.

I know that you'll see a lot of people bashing social media. They're like people on their phones too much. They're not connected to the real world. Honestly, I do see that. It's tons of stuff in real life. And honestly, of course I do spend like a chunk of time online, but I've never felt more connected to people than ever.

Like you can find people online that are like you doing things that you're doing. And suddenly this world feels like a whole lot bigger. You can like discover like how people are living in Denmark. There's this lady I follow online. I think I've already talked about her on this podcast.  But she's on Svalvard Island.

It's like SV. And they experience like 24 hours of darkness. And in the summer they have, um, well, let's see, that's called The Polar Night. I'm Learning Things. I also bought her book. And then during the summer they have 24 hours where the sun never sets. The eternal day. And so I think it's really cool just to see like her life and how she lives.

It's also where they have the Seed Vault in case you were wondering. But really you guys. I think sitting down and learning these apps and these tools so that we could be connected and I was already a content creator. So I wanted to create content. That's something I loved so much. So when I first jumped into TikTok, I paid just like for a course.

It was like how to use the app. I had kind of been ignoring it for like. A year or two because it was musically and like it didn't really feel like it applied to me. People weren't really using it for business, but I needed to learn like how to actually use it. So I literally bought a course that was like, here's how to do it.

I feel like there's a lot more information now. You could figure that out on YouTube.  And then I did join like a big coaching program. I remember it was a few thousand dollars and they sold me over the phone. They're these very young girls. That was a total mindset fuckery. That was a total waste of my money.

 So they would do these like group coaching calls and they would pull up your content on the call and then they would sit and pick it apart. And their advice was that if you didn't go viral within the first five videos that you posted, it might've been three, even you should just start a new account. And I'm like, that's completely unattainable. Like for people who've never created content, it was unattainable for me.

And it really, really messed with my mindset. It was like, this video sucks. This video sucks. This video sucks. So that was a total waste to me.  But then I worked with a coach one on one who she was very successful. on TikTok and she helped me from a very loving space get better at my videos. And now I'm currently in a TikTok academy, the guy who runs it, his name is Jackson, and I love it.

He gives like up to date advice and I like it just because I can stay on top of what's happening. That's what I have to do for a living. Okay, anyways. That's like just a technical thing that's helped me in my life. Okay. This is one of my favorite things that has ever happened in my last year, my last 10 years of this whole adventure I've been on.

It was pitching Gary V. So if you're familiar with Gary Vaynerchuk, if not, hurry and Google him or like, Instagram. He's got millions of followers on all the platforms. Years ago, I had a different podcast. It was called the Badassery podcast and we pitched him to be on our show. And he said, yes, that was just huge for me.

That was so big. I remember. Sitting down on my office floor, like I'd been sitting in my chair at home, I sat down on the floor. I put my head in the carpet and I cried. I cried like a baby. I hadn't really ever had anything super big happen to me at that point. And I was like, I cannot believe this is happening.

I still think it's really cool. And I still get excited when I talk about it. So he came on our podcast. He gave me a piece of advice that has stuck with me forever. And he said, what I love about you most, Samantha, is that you are busy building your own building and you're not worried about tearing other people's buildings down.

He's like, hey, you can come in the building, come along. And he's like, you're not over there throwing stones at people's buildings. So I remember that a lot along my journey. Maybe when I see people who just pop up and they get Insta famous. Or maybe, you know, I see someone. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, like look what she's doing over there because I'm feeling like I am not doing good enough or I'm not far enough along.

 I try to remember that piece of advice because it's such a good, solid, just like life theme to go on, you know, worry about building your own building and don't worry about what everyone else is doing in their buildings. Okay,   next on my list, this should probably be at the top of my list, but that's okay.

Getting sober and dealing with addictive behaviors.  We get so addicted to all kinds of things. You know, my blurring one was alcohol. Definitely was highly addicted to alcohol. I've done so much inner work though in the last, like, it's almost, you know, I'm coming up close to eight months of sobriety where. 

I can see like when I started drinking and how I was looking for something to fill that gap, that void, that hole, that pain, and alcohol would numb that out, which again, of course, it's a trap, right? You know, because it just creates more pain and more pain. It's, you know, if you've ever had a friend with a toxic boyfriend, or if you have been in a serious abusive relationship, Which I have,  which I still look very fondly back on it now.

It's taken me 20 years,  but it's also how I got my beautiful daughter, Harley, who is now 19. But if you've ever been in one of those cycles where everyone's like, just leave, just leave, just walk away. Hey, I'll even come help you move out. And you're like, no, no, but he loves me. Or, you know, I think we've all had a friend that's been like that too, or just like, wow.

Or maybe it was like, you know, your mom, I don't know. We all know someone like that. Or we've all seen a movie. Okay.  And you're like, why don't you just walk away? I was like. Oh, but alcohol loves me. Like it makes me feel good, even though I'm going to puke my guts out tomorrow. And then I'm going to have amnesia because it looks so fun and pretty and it apologizes, and I swear I can do better next time.

It's really, you're in a toxic relationship with yourself and you're using alcohol as like the main toxic source.  So getting sober, that was huge.  It has done more for me than therapy has. It has done more for me than some of these things I'm going to talk about here at the bottom. It has done more for me than my year working with a shaman in the Utah desert.

And then. Tripping balls on mushrooms. that was all great, but honestly, sobriety was that piece that I was missing and it's been amazing. Okay. Moving on. I'm working on my health, but kind of ties back into sobriety because I was always like working on my health. I've spent thousands on health coaches, stupid supplements, got health drink.

I will not. We still love it. I actually still love it. It's a good product.  We'll just like end right there. Okay. But I did spend, you know, a chunk of 2023 and 2024 working with a health coach,  but I wasn't seeing any results. I did right at the beginning, but it was because ultimately I was lying about how much alcohol I was drinking.

So removing alcohol has really catapulted me on this health journey. What's been really cool about it too, is.  weeks ago, I feel like I had like  an awakening, for lack of a better word. I feel like I literally had, I'm gonna use the term God here, but you guys use whatever you feel comfortable with. I feel like God kind of came in and took this gauze, this like haze that was on my brain and my heart and my soul.

And just kind of like whipped it off. And it was wild. I was. It's in my office at home. I remember the exact moment it happened. It was like I was pinged  and suddenly I could think clearly, things were different. And I have been able to move forward in my life in ways I never thought possible. You know, getting up early has been easy.

Getting to the gym is easy. Well, except for today, cause my calf muscles hurt. So instead of doing my three and a half mile run, I did a 45 minute walk on the treadmill, but I'm just saying like.  The reason why my castors were those because we climbed these crazy stairs the other day. It's pretty rad, but damn I got my cast, but I'm just saying everything has suddenly gotten easier where I want to show up for myself I'm not dragging myself to show up when I say that I was a high functioning alcoholic And I still am that is my point is I was still doing a lot of things, but it was hard There was days where I would lay in bed depressed and couldn't even get up.

I would just be Binge out of control social media with like no like regards for like needing to take care of myself. You guys kind of get the point here, right?  But really working on my health has been one of the best things I've done. You know, it's, it's not hard. It was always hard before. And now I'm like, Oh, this is really easy.

Like it feels really good to eat good. And it feels really good to get up and move my body. So, you know, little high five kudos to myself right there.  Oh, this is great because the next thing on my list is my hormones.  Totally worth it. If you are a female and you're like 35, 45, or even, you know, younger than that,  perimenopause is real.

Go get your hormones checked out. I wish I had done this years before. I'm 39. I'm going to be 40 in February, you guys. And you're going to hear about it a lot because I'm so excited about it.  But I went last year and had like a full panel workup done.  And it turns out that like a ton of my hormones, not a ton, just one in particular, it's your happy hormone.

I didn't get that boost every month. Like I basically didn't have any in my body and there's a synthetic form that I can now take. But my depression, every like couple of weeks, Was insane and now going back. I wish I'd maybe been a little more self aware. I thought it was so self aware Oh my god, the things I thought but getting that checked and getting that fixed and then Taking out the alcohol Was like some sort of like firestorm amazing combo like boom boom boom  and it's been epic.

Okay  Just saying  Help you,  help yourself, you guys. Go to a functional practitioner, be like, I want to get my labs done, I think I might have perimenopause, and see, like, what's not working and what you need to work on. It'll change your life. Hormones are real.  Okay, moving into an office. So I'm sitting here right now recording in my office, and this has been a big one because obviously, you know, it's an extra expense when I could easily work from home.

I was not thriving at home. I did not thrive at home at all. I would stay all day in my leggings. Sometimes I wouldn't get dressed. Like my sweat bottoms were my favorite tool. And then also like I don't know what I was doing all day. Like my life is so much more productive. I don't think we have to be productive or anything, but like. 

It just like flows so much better. I needed to get out of my house, you know, for, this is just me, you guys, again, like I said, the first of this video, you do you boo. But for me, it was like, it was no longer my home. It was like my place of business. It was everything. And I didn't want to be there. Like, you know, my husband may get home and I'd be like, let's leave.

Let's go do something. Let's go do something. And now I just love being home. I love my family being there. I love the insane amount of animals I have acquired. Don't judge. We listen and we don't judge, but I just love it so much. So getting an office has been amazing. You know, if you're kind of feeling that way too,  and maybe where you live, it's like unrealistic or expensive look into,  coworking spaces, there's a lot or see, like, I mean, I don't have this whole building.

Like I'm just renting my own office. There might be a solution or maybe, you know, you make office hours at different coffee shops and you vibe around, there's always a solution if you were feeling like being at home is too much and you work from home or I don't know, like, let's say you don't work from home.

Like you don't own your own business. Like me. Cause you're smart  and you're awesome. And you're like, I just need like a break in things. Like go, go try something new. You guys change your environment. It helps so much.  Okay. This is also on my ends list. Blocking people. Oh, ah, I can talk about this.

It was hard. It was so hard. Yeah. Minus my ex husband that I blocked a couple years ago, the best decision of my life. But minus that I've never ever blocked anyone. And this year I blocked two people,  and I feel really shitty about it, but also I feel really free. I could not handle like the amount of just,  I don't know, like negative shit that was getting thrown at me, especially when I was finally in such a good place where. 

Dude, you guys, getting sober was, wrecked me. Wrecked me, and then, it's like a phoenix, you know? Wrecked me, it was a trash can fire, and now I'm like, woo, look at this. This is nice.  But it was hard. I was like, why are you mad at me? Like, I'm just living my life, and I'm not gonna get into like, why, you know, they felt that way, or like, what was going on, or anything.

But I blocked, I hit block on two people that I thought were going to be like my ride or die best friends. People that know a lot about me, like my deep dark secrets, which, you know, they started to be like, well, I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that, blah, blah. And I'm like, you're holding things that you know about me against me now?

Like, this is wild. But anyways, I hit block and then I went on social media and hit block. And you know what? I'm an adult and I get to do that. And then also, I know, because people know me. People have told me that,  I'm the toxic person in their story. And I'm okay with that. I know who I am. Maybe there's times when I could have done something differently.

I'm a pretty open person, but  you know, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being the toxic person. And that's just like how it's gonna be.  Okay, now let's move into the outs. Alright, let's spread the tea, or spill the tea, spread the lore. 

What are things that I did that I did not feel like were worth it? But here's the thing too is now that I'm like getting ready to talk about this list I wouldn't go back and change any of these because I learned I was like, oh that's not for me  First on my list is Tony Robbins That is a shitshow of Kool Aid.

An absolute shitshow of Kool Aid.  You know, you go to Tony Robbins, and I would say, I think I did the five day. No, I did three day. I did the three day event, and I would say they spent two out of the full three days promoting how you had to have continued coaching, and this is like shit, like people They had finance people there.

So like you could take out a loan on the spot to pay for your next, you know, hit of crack cocaine Kool Aid that is Tony Robbins.  It's fucked up. It really is. I think he  has a lot of like great mindset shift things that you could do, but the way that they're going about it is just, you know, Whack. Stay away.

But I did walk on fire. And I thought that was fucking phenomenal. And then I also did have a moment there where they did this thing where they had you like imagine it's a lot of NLP stuff if you guys are into that but

they have you imagine like the worst thing ever happening to you. So, you know, I mean, think of horrible things like your kids commit suicide and, you know, then your husband dies and then you lose your house on a fire. And like, so all these people are like sobbing, sobbing and they have you close your eyes.

And this is like an hour long process. People are just sobbing and sobbing. And I really was like, well, I don't under, this is odd.  And they say they have a method to it. So you guys, again, this is my personal opinion. It was fucked up. So there was a point where I heard this voice in my head and I said, just open your eyes.

And I swear to God, I had this giant angel standing in front of me and it said, you need to leave. And I remember looking around and everything was so, so dark. And I went and I sat in the bathroom for like two or three hours because I was there with a group of people. And my old business partner and I was just like, this is wild.

And she's like, I can't believe you missed that. I remember getting like kind of chewed out. That was like the most transformational experience. And you just walked out and I'm like, no, it was sick and evil  again. That's just my experience. But I went to Chicago. I'd never been to Chicago. I've never been since we did like a boat tour.

Saw the only time I've ever seen a great lake. So kind of, you know, I mean, there's always pluses to this. Okay. And the next on my list is Deepak Chopra. So I did go to a five day meditation retreat. The only reason I signed up was because I saw that Gabby Bernstein was going to be there.

Loved hearing Gabby speak. Loved everything about that.  The Deepak Chopra stuff, again, had a little bit of those Tony Robbins vibes.  I think I learned some things, but it was just kind of meh to me. It included food every day, and you were supposed to be eating this every day. It was Ayurvedic.

Oh my gosh, I'm gonna embarrass myself. You know, it was vegan. And I'm like, that's great. Like, honestly, like, I'm okay, like, not having meat every meal. And, you know, it was, like, supposed to cleanse your system. But it was just like, it wasn't good.  And every day I would just, like, find new people to sit with.

And I noticed the majority of the people there were, like, significantly older than me.  Not, I mean, you guys, I'm going to be 40. So let's say they were like 50 or 60,  which is not significantly older, I guess I'm going to have to humble myself in my forties,  but you know, we would talk and they'd be like, Oh, why are you here?

And I was like, Oh, I really wanted to see Gabby. And they were like, Oh, that's weird. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. You know, like whatever. And they'd be like, Oh, listening to Deepak, like remember this. group of older ladies. You know, it reminds me of like your sewing circle. They were like, listening to Deepak was like the most life changing thing.

And I was like, Oh really? Because when he said this, I was like, Huh? Well, you know, and they couldn't have really an open conversation about it because they were just so far in the Kool Aid. The Deepak Kool Aid had been drink and they were fans.  But it wasn't really worth it to me to be honest. I had to drive to Santa Fe.

There were some like big aha moments and things I took away from it. It was the first time I'd really gone on like a solo trip like that, drove like that, stayed in an Airbnb by myself. So it's like a big girl moment, but I would never go to Deepak again. I've never touched anything. They kept calling me, you know, a lot of this is like to keep you in their like spiral of you need them self help.

And they're like, come to the next event, come to this event, come to this event. And I was like, fuck no. So yeah.  Okay, the other thing that I really feel like has never been worth my time is any sort of long term group coaching program that I've done Where you have to pay like, you know several thousand dollars a month. 

That stuff is dumb That's all I'm gonna say.

Next on my outs list is really like letting my business be my life.  I don't know if you've had something in your life that you can relate to, or you have been a business owner where it's like, this is my whole life and my whole existence. It's not like, it's just a little piece of me. And I've really worked hard the last few months to bring it back to, you know, my business is something like anyone else's.

It's a job that they go to and it's really cool and it has really amazing pieces. But then I also have this whole other dynamic part of my life and I love that about myself. Like I thrive on that kind of stuff.

Ooh. Next on my outs list. None. Here's my handy dandy list.  FAD diets.  We need to stop listening to all these girls online that are like, I did this and it changed my life. And then I did this and it changed my life. Like how many of you bought into the beach body, like the little tiny containers where you would put all your food in the containers?

No, that did not work. I know a lot of it for me was I just needed to address my sobriety, but like, let's all be real here. Okay.  Fasting. I paid quite a bit to be in like this fasting group. I'm not sure if I should talk about this, but I saw this meme and it totally relates.  it said that fasting is basically just privileged starvation. And I was like, that's exactly what it is.

Okay. And then very, very last on my outs list, things that I would not have done over the last 10 years.  Is I wouldn't have gone into bad collaborations where I knew right away that the energy was not a match and this is pretty easy to tell and there was always red flags, but I think I was lonely. I was, it's part of my like addictive behaviors and my alcoholism.

You know, I always want to make everyone happy. I don't want to disappoint anyone. And so I would say, say yes to things. And then it was typically me carrying the giant backpack up the hill. You know, it's like a friend comes to you and they're like, you are so good at hiking. It would be so rad if we hiked this really big mountain.

And then you start to go up it and they're like, you're more experienced than me. You just carry this backpack. And so you end up carrying all this load and you get to the top and you offload it and you set up all the camp and they're like, Swimming in the lake, like having the best day ever and you're like, I literally feel like death.

And they're like, Oh, what's wrong with you? And you're like, well, it's not a match, right? You want to hike with someone who is going to carry their own weight and their own load and help you set up camp when you get there. And then you guys can enjoy the view together. So anytime, at any point in your life, whether it's business or personal, you guys, this, if you don't have a business,  Don't do bad collaborations.

Don't go on trips where you shouldn't be there. Don't get into even friendships where the energy isn't matched. I would 100 percent do things totally different.  But then my life would be totally different. So that's what my outs list here. I'm like everything that I don't really think was worth the money and I wouldn't do it again.

I got something really rad out of it. So maybe it's just a giant ins list that I shared with you guys. Bye guys! But either way, if you resonated, pop on over to my Instagram. That's Samantha Parker. Let me know. Let me know what's on your ins and outs for 2025. If you enjoyed this, rate it. If you're watching it, subscribe to me on YouTube.

What was it I'm supposed to say?  I feel like I should know this, but either way, thank you for being here. And thank you for listening to the Samantha Parker show.