The Samantha Parker Show

The Let Them Theory for Sobriety and Emotional Peace

• Samantha Parker • Season 1 • Episode 39

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Sobriety has taught me a lot, but one of the biggest lessons is learning to mind my own business.

Recently, I dove into Mel Robbins’ new book and her “Let Them” theory, and it felt like it was written just for this stage of my journey. The idea is simple but so powerful: let people do what they’re going to do without trying to control or react to it. Then, Let Me.

It’s been a total game changer for how I handle life, relationships, and even my emotions.

So, how has “Let Them” helped me let go of other people’s issues and focus on my own growth? Sobriety has already made me more empathetic and less reactive, but this mindset takes it to the next level. Whether it’s navigating challenges with my family, parenting an adult child, or dealing with situations in business, this shift has created so much emotional peace. I’ve changed the way I react to everything.

The “Let Them” also relates to our emotional well-being. Dr. Amy Johnson’s perspective on being curious about your emotions and giving yourself grace really hit home for me. Feeling your emotions, rather than reacting to them, has been a huge part of my sober journey. It’s about slowing down, honoring your truth, and knowing that even uncomfortable feelings are part of the human experience.

If you’re on a sober journey or just looking for ways to create a calmer, more peaceful life, this episode is for you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and how the “Let Them Theory” is working in your life!

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All right, my sober besties, welcome back to the show. I have dedicated this entire episode to one of my favorite things in sobriety, and that is minding your own business.

We're going to dive into it. And today I'm also going to discuss the let them theory by Mel Robbins. I just finished that book. It is phenomenal. You might've seen clips like popping around social media. There's some really great clips of her talking about on Tik TOK. Her book just came out. It is incredible.

I highly, highly recommend the audible because Mel Robbins herself reads it. And she does like a little side tangent here and there, but you really get the emotion and the power behind it. And I'm like listening.  I always have an audible book going and then I always have a book that I'm reading. So I'm like listening in the car and I'm like, yes, yes, yes.

Everything in this is so powerful, especially if you're on a sober journey. And if you're not on a sober journey, though, you know, this book is for you as well. It is insane. So I'm going to talk about some of my favorite parts, how you can apply it directly to life and how I use it in sobriety. And before I'd kind of just been saying sobriety has really taught me to mind my own business and not react.

And then this book came in Perfect timing. So I think you guys are really going to enjoy this episode. 

  📍  📍 Alright, so when I talk about minding your own business with sobriety, I'm talking about letting other people's issues be theirs. You don't have to pick up everyone's issues. And I think a lot of times when I was drinking, I was obviously not in my healthiest spot and it'd be so wild, like an emotion would come into me, you know, maybe I was thinking about as a child, I can still remember this one thing I did.

Okay. I love my drunk moments. But I was on a trip.  We're not going to get into the specifics of the trip, but my dad had called me about something like totally unrelated. He'd actually had a family member pass away. Well, we had, you know,  but it was someone that was close to him. It was kind of distant to me.

And I had been drinking, I'd been sitting at this bar, this hotel bar drinking, and I was having this big spiral. And my dad was just calling to like, let me know and talk to me. And I went off was like, as a child, you did this. And then you did that. And that's what I'm talking about when I'm saying like the let them theory can really apply to yourself and really like you minding your own business.

 Because I used to be like very, very reactive.  And so my dad was just calling me to be like, Hey, like this is going on. He probably needed someone to talk to. And instead. I basically told him off. These are things that I don't love about sobriety, but now that I talk about it, what I do like is that I can say like this thing happened. 

And now I realize like that was not okay. And you know, I can work on being better. I can do better next time and I'm choosing better moving forward. So it's a great lesson that I, you know, was shown, but there are moments that I'm not proud of, but I can see the huge switch there where things like that just don't really happen.

And you know, life is life, things are going on and I'm not reacting to them the same way. I'm a lot more observant and I'm a lot more like minding my own business. But I'm also a lot better listener. So if that had happened today, I would have totally just listened to my dad. I would have offered, you know, how can I help?

Is there anything I can do? Like, I'm so sorry for your loss.  And it wouldn't have been all about me, which I know what I'm saying. Like, mind your own business. I think you guys kind of get where I'm going here, I'm just a lot less reactive and I am a lot more empathetic.

You know, I let other people's issues be theirs. I work on myself. I notice where I have character flaws and how I can do better. And then I actually go out and I try my best to do better.

 All right, so the let them theory like how can you apply that on your sobriety journey? So I love this quote from Mel here You guys know I always have my notes or at least I try to I feel like I have my notes now when I say Always the last few episodes.

I have been like I've got this outlined. I've got lots of things I want to share with you guys, so I have a lot of notes going on at my phone here But okay, so this is straight from Mel's website again Mel Robbins here You know, I'm gonna pretend like we're besties. I'm like, my good friend Mel, she said, when you let them do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.

Which is interesting because a lot of the times I was reactive and you know, my drinking had to do with me trying to control everything. So interesting. Okay. So when you let them, you actually gain more control like over yourself and your own emotions. I'll read it again here. So from Mel, when you let them do whatever it is, they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.

Just like that example I gave with my dad.  I have some more examples here that you guys are going to love, so don't worry. But the second half of the let them theory is let me, okay. So I love that she talks about this pretty in depth in her book. You know, it's not just a, let them do whatever the fuck they want.

Like blah, blah, blah. Cause that's like very toxic behavior. You know, let them eat cake type of feelings, but it's like, let them do what they want to do. And then let me, so what emotions, what things do I need to handle? So it's two parts and it's phenomenal. Like I just suggest like you finish this podcast. 

You download the audible, you know, or you pick up the book. If you like to physically read, I like to do both. So don't worry.  But like, just dive into this. So I've actually been thinking about doing a sober book club. I think it'd be so fun if we had a book and we met like once a week or once every other week.

And like, we discussed what we were reading, you know, in the book would have like an alcoholic topic or, you know, Mel Robbins is just like a let them theory.  So I don't know if that's something you guys are vibing with. Pop over to Instagram, send me a message and be like, I want to do that.  And again, my Instagram handle is the samanthaparker. 

You can message me on TikTok though. I always forget because I answer a ton of messages on TikTok.  But my TikTok is the samanthaparker show. Okay, so the second half is let me, let me choose differently. Let me act differently. So that's your response to whatever's going on. It's not a like, let them two double birds to the wind.

Goodbye. Okay. That just reminded me of a drunk story. Maybe I'll share it with you guys sometime,

what else I really love about the let them theory is that it ends this narrative like have you guys ever done this? Okay, you know someone might be upset with you or you you know Maybe you behaved a certain way and you're like, oh my gosh I bet they're over there just thinking like all these nasty things about me and you literally will create an actual whole story in your Head though.

I'm sure they said this like you might even play it out like the voices, you know Have you ever seen that meme where you're like? When you don't like someone and they're just like minding their own business and you're like, Oh, look at that bitch over there just eating her cookie like she owns the place.

You know, have you ever created just like an entire narrative that spirals out of control? You've dedicated a ton of your brain space to this and now your mind is just lost. Like you've literally created something that isn't real, but it has become truth to you. I feel like the let them theory really is. 

 You are going to take back so much power in your life, which is the whole point of going sober. Especially like for me personally, I can only speak on my own experiences and tell you guys what's worked for me. Maybe it'll work for you.

Maybe you pick up one little tiny nugget out of this whole episode. And if it's anything, I hope it's that you're ready to let them through. Like, can I get some affiliate kickback? My friend, Mel, that would be awesome. 

But when you do stuff like this, you guys, when you create these false narratives in your brain, like that is now truth. Like you've gone through all the emotions, you've gotten upset. Maybe you've even like reacted weird to them, given them the cold shoulder, all these things. And it's become an actual truth to you when in reality, like you have no idea, like no idea what's going on.

And so you just wasted all this time and energy.

There are so many different points that stood out to me in this book. So you need to read it for yourself. Take away like what resonates with you, but I'm going to tell you some of my favorites. For sure at the very, very top of my list is to let people have a negative opinion of you. through my sobriety journey.

And I knew this before, but one of my big things is I always want people to like me and I get really, really obsessed with it. And I would allow a ton of toxic behavior in my life, like from me and from other people. Oh, seriously, like 90 90 percent of my life, I swear. And a huge portion of the people that were air quoting here really, really close to me.

We're extremely toxic and a lot of that was because I didn't want them to have a negative opinion of me. So I would get these texts from people and they'd be like, Oh, when you did this to me and then you did that, which really one of them was, this is wild. You guys, one like really nasty texts that I was getting  was because I had made a burger.

video. Like I'm a social media manager. I create content for a living. I know I was not in the wrong here.  Like 100%. Even when I sat down, I broke it down and I was like, how could I have done better? I was like, I know I was not in the wrong here. I'm a social media manager. I went into a business. I made a burger video and it really upset a close personal friend of mine, which unfortunately that friendship has ended because they created food content.

And so I guess I was not allowed to, and it was some sort of ultimate betrayal.  And I was like, this is super, super interesting, but it upset me so much that like someone would have a negative opinion of me. I was beside myself for like weeks. Um, and in the beginning I had even said like, I'm so sorry, like, can we sit down and talk about this?

Um, and it doesn't really matter, like honestly, you guys who was right or wrong, but the let them theory is so great because at any given time I could have been like, well, that's okay. I'm going to let them have that negative opinion of me. This happens all the time to us where either we become completely obsessed with someone else's opinion of us, like a group of people, they might not like us.

And so we're doing everything we possibly can and we will accept toxic behavior when in reality. We could have easily just been like, I'm going to go ahead and let them. And then the second thing here is what I was discussing previously was that maybe that is completely made up. Maybe there isn't even a negative opinion to be had anywhere, but when we just let them and then we let us make a different choice, let me do things differently.

Game changer, like game on you guys. All of a sudden I have calm, I have peace.  I will really, really think it's important that we keep our nervous system like very nice and calm. And we react from this calm place, but really like I didn't need to react to any of that.  Let them have that negative opinion, let them be upset.

And I'm just going to keep doing me. You know how much brain space that would have saved? I was upset for weeks, like literally weeks about this specific situation that I just described to you. It was more than that, it was months.  And now I'm upset, which is funny, I'm like, I'm upset that I was upset that long.

Oh, the cycle. We were always growing and we were always learning, but I know I would have handled it differently if I had applied this let them theory and then followed it up with let me.

 There's a lot of great stuff in the book. And one point she does take you through like dating advice. And I would say that was the only portion of the book where I actually, I did end up just skipping. I was like, skip, skip, skip,  on the audible app. And I was like, skip, skip, skip again, because they didn't really feel like it applied to me.

The great thing was I sent it to a friend who's like new in the dating world and I was like, you might really enjoy this book in this section. There was a big part about marriage that completely helped me. And it was part of a practice I'd kind of already been implementing.

So it was great to have that like follow up.  So many different areas of your life. The book will even talk about like, you know, let them with your kids because that's probably not always appropriate, you know, in different situations that you're going to handle. Some of them will apply to you, some of them will not.

I love the let them theory because it really just helps you feel the emotion versus react. But we're going to get into that later, so I'm going to skip over that point here. And then going on to my next point. The book talks a lot about growing apart from friends. Like  Mel full on dives into a situation where she was very, very triggered by a group of friends getting together and she hadn't been invited. And so she says she wished she'd had the let them theory because she didn't react in the best way. And what it came down to really was, You know, friendships grow apart and I loved that.

Like that really hit me like in the heart, a lot of times we're really, really good friends because we have close proximity to people and then we grow apart or, you know, and honestly I had kids really, really young. So there was a lot of people that like are my age that I just didn't relate to.

And we grew apart because I had kids and they were still single and dating. There was nothing wrong with that. It was the natural progression of people's personal lives. So that was a point in the book that just like I loved. You guys are going to love it too. If you've ever like opened up Instagram, like Mel says that she did and she saw that she was being left out or experienced FOMO, you know, and like just completely went on a spiral.

I think this is like definitely going to be a really strong point for you where you take home some lessons and just like fill yourself with love. It's really good. It's all about love, you know, let them with love, let me with love.  The let them theory also really presents this idea. And it feels like truth to me that it's not your responsibility to make sure that everyone else has never hurt. It is not your responsibility to make sure that your action, you know, of course, like, don't be like a horrible person, you know, but for the most part, we're all really great people, but it's not your responsibility to make sure that their feelings are always tied up in this big, beautiful bow. That's exhausting. You have to take care of yourself. And as long as you're not running around intentionally, throwing darts at people, like their life is their life. And maybe something you do hurts their feelings and that has to be okay.

That, again, you guys, ties into that guilt and shame cycle that I was using to numb with alcohol. And then mostly, you know, when you numb with alcohol, you throw gasoline on a trash can fire. I've said that a lot. Let's put it on a t shirt. Because, really, that's what it is. It's like, you've got a trash can fire going.

It's like, very, like, smelly, stinky. And you're like, let's just throw some gas on there. Ba boom!  That's what alcohol is.  So I have been doing this practice with my spouse, and this is probably my number one asked TikTok question, is does your husband still drink? Yes, my husband still drinks. He is on his own journey doing his own things. He drinks a lot differently than me. Would I love it if he went on an alcohol free journey?

Yeah, I think that would be pretty rad. But right out of the gate, I realized that this was all about me. And hopefully it was going to improve our lives together. And we've been navigating that as we go. It's been a little rocky, like here and there where, you know, I felt like, Oh, maybe we can't connect or we've kind of had to like redefine our relationship.

You know, we used to go out for drinks and talk and then get a little something, something on the way home because I was loosened up. So there's been areas of our lives where we've definitely had to like navigate and learn that. But my husband is on his own journey. And I tell people that all the time on TikTok too.

I'm like, well, it's a personal journey. I'm doing this for myself. You know, if he wasn't supportive of it, would it make it difficult? I think it would make it more difficult, but I would still be doing it. He's very supportive of all the things I do, honestly. In fact, sometimes I wish he would be like, that's a little crazy.

Let's pull back. But I also love that he doesn't. But along my sobriety journey, I have definitely had thoughts of like, maybe I should really, really push this, you know, I also go to AA and so I'm actively working on the steps. So I'm on like this massive self development, like.

quest right now. I'm very much feeling the healthiest I've ever felt in my body, the happiest I've ever felt in my body.  I'm also feeling the most driven professionally, personally, and I feel like I am fucking thriving. My life feels phenomenal right now today as I'm recording this podcast.

I'm like, wow, I have no regrets. And of course, like I want that for my spouse too. I got some really great advice from my sponsor, though, and it feels very like in sync with the let them theory. She said, like, don't push those things, because I just asked her, I'm like, well, how do you kind of handle it?

You know, I can, I see myself in certain situations popping off a little resentful, or I'm making those underhanded comments, like, oh, maybe you're going to have to go on a health journey, you know, like the other day, I feel really bad about this, and I need to apologize.  But he's like, Oh, I took Charlie for a walk.

That's our elderly dog. Um, and I was like, Oh, you did. She's really hard to walk. She's like very reactive. So normally if we're going to take her for a walk, it's like the two of us,  cause we have two dogs and she makes it almost impossible to walk both of them. My other dog is so funny. My Corgi will just like sit down and look at her as she's like, You know, she's like some sort of Chihuahua mix, Charlie, and she's like, and I'm like, you have like two teeth, like left.

It's like, what are you doing here?  Sometimes I call her the old gray beard. She's got like a gray beard.  She's just, she's my elderly dog and I love her, but my husband was like, Oh, I took the dog for a walk. And instead of me being like, that's so cool. Well, I asked, I was like, Oh, why did you take her for a walk?

And he goes, well, because she's getting like very fat and she, Has like plumped up a little bit. And so I had been saying like, oh, we need to like take Charlie out on more walks and make sure she's healthy or just like get her some more exercise, you know? And instead of me being like, that is so rad that you did that, like my gosh, like thank you.

I said, oh good, because you probably need that too. And so basically I was calling him fat and I don't like that. That was not, that was not okay. And really I loved Mel Robbins take on this. Like she pretty much like described a similar situation in the book with a spouse who was like very driven is really taking care of their health and another spouse who is obviously not.

 And so that part right there stood out to me so much. And I was like, I know I can do better, but hold on you guys. You know, I'm like a little bit of a story weaver and I was talking about my sponsor. So my sponsor had given me similar advice about praying for my husband. Cause I was like, I don't really say much, but sometimes I pop off with these resentful comments and I know they're like little digs and they are hurtful and I know I can do a lot better and he doesn't deserve that.

Like he shows up in so many amazing ways. It's okay if he's put on a few pounds, he's on his own journey and he's going to have to figure that out. 

So after my sponsor gave me that advice, I've been practicing in the mornings, just praying for him, you know, and it's nothing like, Oh, I want him to do this because I want him to be his own individual person. Like he's a really amazing person. You guys, I could go on and on about like the accolades of my husband.

I've been so proud of him. He's done three tours overseas. He just finished 20 years in the army. And like, honestly, that man will do crazy things for me. I had a physical product that I was selling a few years ago and I went to this horrible, horrible festival and I had this booth. It was like a disaster situation, but he drove two hours out there super early in the morning, helped me set up, drove home because it was actually when we were selling our house, drove home, made sure that he had all the pets and like everything in line, you know, vacuumed the kids.

It's stressful when you have home showings. And then came back out when I called him because the festival was an absolute disaster. I was like huddled by a tree, like crying and he drove all the way back out there, gathered all my stuff up and then drove the two hours back. So like phenomenal human, but I'm choosing to like focus on this one thing because I have some sort of superiority complex going because I'm like, Oh, look at me.

Look at all this hard work I'm doing. Well, I'm not living his life. I'm not in his body. I don't know what he's going through. And, you know, I don't see. See every little thing he does. And so I spend a lot of time in prayer for my husband, but also to open my own eyes and see the miracle that is happening there because sometimes we'll hyper focus on like, Oh my God.

Like, you know, I went for this four mile run and you only walked the dog.  It's like, what the fuck, Samantha?  Like, literally, what the fuck? And I love that the let them theory also is in this. Like, let them be their own person. Let him figure out what he wants to do in life. And he's just in a little bit of a transition stage, too.

Coming from 20 years in the army, to where he's at now, I have no right to like take little digs, and I know that I can do better as a wife, but when you pray for people, or when you let them let me, and in this situation, I'm using prayer, you know, meditation, journaling, whatever you guys want to call it, insert your word if that triggered you.

I do have a lot of friends who grew up in a very controlled Mormon situation and I know that like prayer, they're like, Oh my gosh, which Mormons have a very structured prayer. I know that can be triggering. So insert your own word here. Like don't just discredit what I'm saying because I use the word prayer,  but really I sit down and I pray.

And A lot of times what it's doing is it's opening my own heart and my own eyes to things that I was missing because I was so hyper focused on one specific thing. So I know I can do better there. It's a great lesson though, in the book

there are quite a few ways that I have already practiced the let them theory. So just yesterday, this is wild. So just yesterday I had two big emotional events happen. 

The first one was a business situation where I asked a question via email and the recipient took it out of context and I could see how it was taken out of context, but it wasn't my intentions at all.

And I was like, Oh, no, that has nothing to do with that. And it was just like a communication issue. But I got an email back initially that like, that felt kind of jarring to me Iand I was like what a litte   accusing and wae have cleared it up and stuff, normally something Like that would would completely derail me but I  as soon as that happened I was like let them let them think that one specific situation. So instead of me going into panic mode, I was like, Oh, let me just communicate back in a calm, very specific way where I was like, No, this was a situation and clear it up. Versus, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm such a terrible person. I can't believe that I didn't communicate better, etc, etc.

Right? It was not my fault. It really didn't have anything to do with me at the end of the day. And it was just text and an email. It was just.  A sentence that was like misconstrued and was like taken a different way,  not that big of a deal. I was like, let them have that negative perception of me. I know that wasn't my intention.

Here's how we can clear it up. So let me re communicate what I was actually asking for.  And it's not my responsibility if they are still upset. I know what my intentions were. I know what I was asking. And let them have their own reaction. That's like their own life. They get to think and feel whatever it is they want.

And in the exact same day, that morning, it's 6 o'clock in the morning, I had a situation with my daughter, she's 19, parenting an adult is like super interesting, especially when they're still living in your home, I'm like, do I not say anything? Or is it like, where, like, am I like, hey, I didn't really like that, like, you know, with my son.

The other day. Oh my god, this was yesterday too. This was a lot going on yesterday. My son yesterday, I wanted him to pull up PowerSchool, which is like where you see your kids grades. And he was like, no, I'm not gonna do it. And I was like, okay, well this phone sits on the counter until you pull up your grades and we talk about it.

Like, put your phone on the counter. You know, but with a, you know, adult child. I wanted to ask her a question about something in her life. Like, it was like, hey, have you made the decision to go here? I'm not going to discuss it here on the podcast because I do feel like that's her own personal business. 

But she was like, no, I'm not going to talk about it. And so in this situation, I couldn't be like phone on the counter. Well, maybe I could have actually, because I do pay for her cell phone, but it didn't feel appropriate, right? So I had to like really check with myself. I was like, okay, let them and let me.

And I was like, come in here and talk to me. And I actually did kind of force the situation. And then it didn't really go the way I'd hoped it went. But what I did was I didn't keep forcing it. I know in the past, like, especially as a kid,  I would have followed her into her room and then I would have been like, you're going to do this now.

You're going to tell me this now and really made it even bigger. Do I know that I could have approached it differently than I did in that moment? Of course, like you can always do things like slightly better, but I was actually really proud of myself because as she stormed off, I was like, let them. Let me and the let me was I just readdressed it later.

I sent her a text. You know, that's how these kids communicate these days. That makes me sound so old. I love text communication. But I sent her a text and I was like, you know, here's where I was coming from. Here's what I wish I would have said differently. How do you want to resolve this? And we had a really beautiful conversation.

And in fact, even that night she came in was sitting by me on the couch. We were laughing. She was telling me about this boy she's dating. And I was like, Oh, it's my baby. I got my baby back. You know? So there's so many ways that you can use the let them theory. And I also credit so much of this to the work that I've done in sobriety, because I know for a fact that I would have flown off a handle if.

I had felt, and I'm quoting here, disrespected. So really you guys, it's like such a beautiful gift, this book.  All right.  Earlier in the podcast, I was saying, you know, the book discusses your emotional well being and we were going to get into that more of that later. So I love this. I'm reading from my notes.

So if you're watching on YouTube, you're like, why is she looking down like that? But  dr. Amy Johnson talks about emotional control and what does emotional well being look like? And you guys, the let them theory for me is really working on your emotional well being, 

see, especially when you remove alcohol. When you remove alcohol, you were suddenly going to feel all of your emotions. And after a few months, it took me probably like six, seven months. I started to realize how calm I was and how calm my emotions were. But at first you're like, I'm crying.

I don't know. Everyone hates me. And then you're like, F this, F you. It's like a wild ride because you've never had to just completely handle your emotions on your own. When you had a bad day, you would have a drink. When you wanted to celebrate, you would have a drink. And when you were just feeling meh, you were having a drink.

When you're feeling whatever, you guys get the point, okay? So I love what Dr. Amy Johnson talks about is your emotional control. What does emotional well being look like? But you guys, that is the biggest benefit of being sober. That's what I'm saying. So emotional wellbeing looks like being curious about your emotions while being compassionate that you are having a human experience.

So let them have theirs. Let me feel mine. So I get to feel my emotions and I get to show empathy to even myself because I am having this human experience. Emotional well being is having an idea of how your mind and thoughts impact the flow of your emotions, and this means nothing about who you are.

It's simply the human design. So this to me is saying like, give yourself a little bit of slack. Give yourself a little bit of grace. If you get angry over something, just be like, Oh, I'm angry. What is this showing me? This is part of my human experience.  And then Amy goes on to, Dr. Amy, excuse me. If I was a doctor, I'd be like, it's doctor.

This woman does not know me, but. I, I respect the doctor title. Dr. Amy says emotional wellbeing is slowing down, listening within and honoring your truth. Emotional wellbeing is allowing space for the uncomfortable and knowing you will move through it. Emotional wellbeing is listening to your physical self and following healthy actions to support you through emotional shifts.

Examples can be yoga, exercise, social engagement, reading, writing, and whatever is unique to your voice of well being. Emotional well being is having the understanding that you are safe, even if you are experiencing heavy or uncomfortable emotions. To be clear, this is not to dismiss your intuition when you are in an uncomfortable situation.

 So to me, your emotional well being is just having a healthy relationship with your emotions.  And I can apply this to sobriety directly. There are days when I feel itchy. I call it itchy like, I want a drink.

Sundays was a big one for me. I was like, let's drink. And then there was also my mindset of like, don't drink because tomorrow's Monday. I can't even tell you how many times I  It was more than I'll ever like to admit, so just consider it a very high number. But I have this itchy thing on Sundays where I get bored, I feel like I should be doing things.

My husband really likes to chill on Sunday and I'm like, I want to plan out 25 meals. He's so patient with me. So patient.  And he's like,  we did all this stuff all week. I get up and go to work at 5 AM. Like Saturday was full of sports. Like, can we not just like watch a movie? I'm like, no, Oh my God. No, I want all the laundry done.

I want all the things like ready. I like to have myself set up for success though, but I, I don't need to push it onto everybody else.  So on Sundays I tend to get a little bit itchy. Yeah. And so what I started doing is just developing like a different routine for myself on Sunday. So, you know, to give my husband space, like if he wants to sleep in, sleep in.

If he wants to like do his own thing for a little while, I'm going to go do my own thing. So on Sunday mornings, I started going to AA.  And then I will do some exercise.  We've been running the stairs here. They put up these, like, when I say the stairs, like, I don't, it's something like, you just have to see the photos on my Instagram, okay, or my Instagram stories,  they are those giant stairway that like goes up a cliff, the city put it in, it's part of the trail systems.

 There's  334 stairs that go like up this cliff, there's cement. , so we've been going and doing that. Last time we did two, my calves are still so freaking sore. We're going to do three. By the time you're listening to this podcast, maybe we've made it up to four sets. And then,  sometimes I'll go meet someone for coffee.

So I'm going to meet some friends for coffee this Sunday as well. Trent and Scott, I haven't seen them for a long time. They have this beautiful house in Belize that I went and stayed at, and I was just thinking about them, and I was like, hey, do you guys want to do coffee? And they were like, absolutely.

Meet us here. So, you know, I'm kind of flipping my activities, but I'm taking care of my emotional well being. And that's a let me thing. Let me do my own work.  Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. If you made it this far, I would love a review. It'd be so cool to get podcast reviews.  My podcast downloads have been going up, which makes me so happy because sharing my sobriety story was so scary.

I know my first few episodes were a hot mess. In fact, I even got really upset at my poor podcast editor. I'm so sorry, Jen. She's not poor. She's like really super amazing and awesome. But I got so mad when this episode went out and it was like my sober story or something like that. And I was like, why did you put sobriety in that?

She's like, what? That's what the whole episode is about. And I was like, ah,  and then I was like, you just have to rip this bandaid off. But I was scared. I was scared to tell my story. So if it's helped you, I would love it if you came over to Instagram, shot me a DM or TikTok. Instagram is the Samantha Parker.

TikTok is Samantha Parker show. I keep forgetting there's no the, it's just Samantha Parker show. Shoot me a message. Let's talk. Maybe there's something that you're going through that I could address in a future issue. Or I know a lot of really cool people. They might have experience in it,  but I just want you to know you're not alone.

That's why I show up and do this. It has changed my entire life. You are not alone. There are people out there who feel what you feel or going what you're going through. And I just want to say thank you for being here. All right, guys, I'll see you next time.