The Samantha Parker Show

SOBER GIRL SPRING - Glow Up Your Life By Ditching Alcohol

• Samantha Parker • Season 1 • Episode 49

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It’s officially Sober Girl Spring, time for the ultimate alcohol-free glow-up.

We're ditching booze, hangovers, and all that messy regret. Trust me, I’ve been there (falling on my sweet elder dog, Charlie, was definitely my lowest). But quitting alcohol changed my whole life.

No more puffy face, brain fog, or anxiety-filled mornings. Sobriety gave me back confidence, clear skin, and way more energy. And let’s be real, mocktails in cute glasses are totally a vibe I can get behind.

This spring, it’s all about romanticizing sobriety, creating fresh rituals, and finding your sober alter ego. Because the real flex isn’t holding your liquor, it’s not needing it at all.

Ready to glow? Let’s do this.

Step into Your Sober Era! Are you ready to embrace a life of clarity and empowerment? Let’s embark on this transformative journey together! [Subscribe Now ➔] Sam's Sober Stack | Samantha Parker | Substack


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 Welcome to    Sober Girl Spring.  This is seriously the ultimate glow up. So in this episode, we are going to ditch the booze. We're gonna    embrace the bloom this spring.  We're leveling up. I know that sounds a little cheesy, but you know, you've gotta get into the   energy of spring  and what better way to do it than   📍 ditching alcohol. 

But don't worry if you've already ditched alcohol. This is still the episode for you. We're just gonna bring some fresh energy into all that hard work and all that effort you are making because   📍 it has progressed you guys progress.

 ​

 As I get closer to my year mark of sobriety, I am like feeling a little nervous about   📍 this warm weather.

It is catching me a   📍 little off guard.  I'm like, I wanna be out there at the pool, but can we do it with a   📍  📍 Diet Coke in her hand? Absolutely,  because I don't want the hangovers. I don't want what comes with that, like little bit of buzz. Even if you get a good buzz for an hour or two, what comes with it is absolutely horrible.

 So what Better time for a sober girl spring than spring.   📍  📍 Spring is about fresh starts, but let's be real.  Most people just use it as an excuse to day drink, which I just said, you know,   📍  📍  📍 day drinking on the patios and calling it self-care.  We're not doing that anymore. So what if I told you that cutting out alcohol could actually be your biggest glow up yet? You would be all in and all over   📍 a sober girl spring.  Personally, for me, my alcoholism last spring was completely out of control. It was insane. And last May is really when I hit a big bubble of my alcoholism where I was like, I can no longer drink at all. There was one really big incident that super stands out where I embarrassed myself in front of my kids so bad and   📍  📍 I thought to myself like, that's not the mom I want them to see. 

And you know, they are like kind of grown up. One is 14, one is about to turn 20. And I was like, this is who their mom is. Like there's no excuses for that. And that's like not who I wanna be. So last spring I got super wasted. I remember it was a warm day. We'd spent the   📍  📍 day at the pool, got belligerently drunk, don't remember Ubering home. 

And apparently I came home and fell on my dog. And I have an elder dog. It was my elder dog. Her name is Charlie. She's like a weird Chihuahua mix. We don't really know what she is. 

And truth be told, I actually bought this cute  dog off of a lady in a   📍 parking  lot  when I lived in Salt Lake City. We were at the grocery store and I was like, Hey, you should like, let me take that puppy for you. And that's how we got Charlie. They told me she was a chug, but she is not a chihuahua pug. She is a chihuahua.

Pious something, and she's just like one of the most unique dogs ever. She is about 13 years old and she's had to have almost all of   📍  📍 her teeth pulled, but for some  reason this last time they left one of her big, long teeth, and so she kind of just like stammers around with like this tooth hanging out and, oh my God, I just love this dog.

But yeah, so got drunk Ubered home, acted like an ass,   📍 said some horrible things to my oldest daughter,  fell on the dog, the elder dog. Poor Charlie and embarrassed myself. And I remember waking up that next day and  having to   📍 apologize  and I'm like,  those things I said like those aren't things I even think, I mean, I was telling my daughter I was so disappointed in her and we've never been happy with her and like just horrible things.

Like I can't ever go and take that back. And I know it has put a damper in our relationship. But the only thing I can do is, you know, I go to aa, they call it a   📍 living Amends,  is I can just get up and do my best and show her that I'm not that person and that we do not think those things. But that was really kind of like the bubble for my alcoholism.

But this is kind of a fun fact.   📍  📍 Did you know that alcohol Sales spike 40% during spring break and this whole like festive spring season?  So 40%. So if you were feeling like you wanna drink, you are not alone, because clearly that stat right there tells you that everybody else is wanting to drink as well. 

  📍  📍 We're all out here guzzling, overpriced cocktails, thinking it's fun,  but is it really fun if you wake up with anxiety and a hundred dollars?

Jesus, a hundred dollars bar tab if you're lucky.   📍 A hundred dollars bar tab.  I don't even wanna tell you guys what he used to spend on alcohol.

So is it fun? Where's the fun in that? Let's have a sober girl Spring.  

Alcohol has a pretty   📍 wild past.  Did you guys know that Egyptians brewed beer before they built the pyramids? And I know they say the pyramids are super old, but I think they're even older than what they say. If you follow a conspiracy TikTok, so that means they've been   📍  📍 brewing beer for a really long time. 

The Greeks used to drink beer at symposiums as well, but they would dilute their beer with water  because even the Greeks knew that straight up booze was a terrible, terrible idea. And America is really booze obsessed. 

I mean, think back to some of our heritage and some of our history.   📍  📍 The Wild West whiskey was safer to drink than water prohibition  and speakeasies AKA, the original hot girl summers, and then even the modern drinking culture. Why do we romanticize this blackout behavior? I can't even tell you how many times I've had people in my life black out act nuts, and I've been like, oh, that's okay.

You just had too much to drink. It happens to everyone.   📍 That behavior is not acceptable  

and there are some pretty insane, crazy stories that relate to alcohol. I thought this was so interesting. Have you guys ever heard of the Great London beer flood of 1814? Yes. People literally drowned in beer. So the Great London beer flood of 1814 was a   📍 bizarre and tragic  industrial accident  that happened in London's St. Gilles district, and hopefully I'm saying that right, St. Giles, St. Gilles. But it was on October 17th, a massive vat at the Mux and Company Brewery. It. Burst and it unleashed 320,000 gallons of beer into the streets.

And this triggered a chain reaction causing other vats to rupture.   📍  📍 And suddenly a literal tsunami of beer started flooding the neighborhoods.  And this is what happened. This totally blew my mind. Look this up you guys. It's crazy. 

The brewery had these huge wooden fermented tanks held together by massive iron rings, and one of these rings just basically snapped, causing the vat to burst. The force of the explosion knocked over the vats, releasing over 1.4 million liters of beer, so that's enough to fill nearly 500,000 pints. So that first eruption literally triggered all of these other ones.

That's so much beer,   📍 1.4 million liters.  That's crazy that they were like brewing that much beer in 1814. But anyways, so the wave of beer destroyed buildings, flooded basements and trapped people in their homes, and tragically, eight people died.

Most of those people that died, they drowned, but some were crushed. Under debris. So people reportedly tried to scoop up and drink the beer, but the flood was mixed with debris and even sewage,  and   📍 it made it toxic.  The brewery was taken to court but wasn't held responsible since the disaster was considered an act of God.

Like what? As God was like, I will burst these beer vats and flood the street, but Mux and Company Brewery continued operations until 1921. That's crazy. You know, so why does this story even matter? I think it's really just a wild reminder of how   📍 obsessed society  has become and has always been with alcohol.

It also shows how dangerous early brewing techniques could be, which you guys don't have to worry about this, this spring.  I've never heard of anyone drowning from a beer explosion, but that's okay. But like, let's be real. If this happened today, could you imagine it would be all over TikTok, like POV, you're in the world's largest beer pong match

But there's a lot of tragedies that kind of circle around alcohol on a bigger scale. And then of course, we all know somebody who has struggled with alcoholism and they didn't make it sober.

You know, there was the methanol tragedy in prohibition when people drank toxic alcohol and they went blind. Okay. That's crazy.   📍  📍 I don't wanna go blind from drinking alcohol. 

And I know this is a little controversial, and if last year me was standing here, she'd be like, what the hell are you saying? But I just really think that if we treated alcohol the way that we treat other drugs, bars would be illegal and people would side-eye their drunk friends instead of hyping them up.

Like I kind of wonder if alcohol will ever be like smoking cigarettes. We'll be like, what are you doing over there? What are you thinking? Like, what's going on?

And that's because alcohol really is doing   📍 damage to your body and your mind.  Right out of the gate. It causes brain fog with your decision making. This is a fact. Alcohol literally shrinks your brain over time, and studies show even moderate drinking impacts memory and cognition.

And I've had experts on the show we've had. Nurse practitioners, and I've had different people who have studied this where we literally go into the science behind this and I've even talked about it, like if you go back and you look at dry January and some of those episodes, and it will literally like   📍  📍  📍 blow your mind what you're doing to your mind,  no pun intended, there.

Alcohol also gives us a fake sense of dopamine. So alcohol tricks your brain into   📍  📍 thinking you're happy, but it actually depletes  dopamine long term, making you more anxious and depressed. And this was something I was experiencing super hardcore. A study in 2022 found that people who quit drinking for just one month had increased dopamine levels   📍 and lower stress. 

That's just 30 days you guys. I was suffering from such severe   📍 depression  and there was other things going on as well, like some   📍 hormone imbalances  and stuff like that. But basically it was like I had a little fire going, a little depression, fire, if we wanna call it that, and I was   📍 throwing gasoline on it. 

I was doing so much damage to my body, my mental health, and everything in between. Alcohol also dehydrates your   📍 skin speeds up aging  and causes tons of inflammation. That circle face is real. The circle face is so real, you guys, and now I can see it in other people and I'm like, oh my gosh, that's what I looked like.

You can go back and look at photos of me on social media and it's kind of wild how much my face shape has actually changed. I've always had like a bit of a round face, but it was so puffy and I can remember how my skin felt and like, oh, I hate it.

But really your   📍 glass of wine for the antioxidants is doing more   📍 harm than good.  If you want real antioxidants, you guys eat some   📍 damn blueberries, eat some damn real fruit.  You're not getting the antioxidants from wine that you think you are because I've heard that excuse before. Like, oh, it has antioxidants.

When we've all seen like red wine, one glass of red wine is good for your heart, like, I don't know, I'm just not buying it. Alcohol also slows your   📍 metabolism by 73% for hours after drinking.  So all of that hard work I was doing in the gym weighing my food, but because I was drinking so much, it was basically like, what the fuck are you doing?

Because your metabolism slows down an insane amount, 73%. You guys, these are like facts after you drink. 

So really that locale, vodka, soda, it's not as harmless as you think it is.

Okay, so now you know we've really nailed it home. Why we don't drink or why we are gonna do a   📍 sober girl spring, but how  do you actually do that? So here's my   📍 steps to having a sober girl spring.  I'm gonna get that on a sticker sober girl spring. I'm gonna make it right now. I can see it in my head. Sober girl Spring, but the really, the first steps to sobriety and something that helped me was just   📍 romanticizing  it.   I started treating mocktails like an aesthetic experience, so I'll put them in my favorite cups, even if it's just a diet Coke with lime, 

even if it's just some club soda mixed with a drink syrup, I put them in my favorite cups and I still enjoy the experience. I have so many glasses. You guys like so many, I collect glasses. Like one of the worst things you can do is take me to an   📍 antique store that has really fun glasses  because I'll wanna buy like one of each and so I still wanna use those cups.

It's like just because this really cool glass might have been something I used to drink wine out of or something that you could drink whiskey out of. It doesn't mean that you can't like enjoy your beverage.   📍 Right now I'm really into Diet Coke. Like super into Diet Coke. I'll probably have to work on that. 

I'm gonna have to cut myself off a little bit. But you know, a Diet Coke, a crispy diet Coke, and a fun glass, like what more could we actually need?  And when you're romanticizing this whole sobriety thing, you wanna   📍 create new rituals  for yourself.   📍 So sunset walks. Journaling, cute coffee shop dates. 

You guys have seen me do all of these things. You know, I probably won't be going for a sunset walk though. Oh, maybe I will. I just got this weighted vest and I've been wanting to try it out. I haven't tried it out yet,  but maybe, maybe that could be my new thing maybe. But cute coffee shop dates.   📍  📍 I go everywhere for the coffee shop view. 

But I'm lucky. I live in southern Utah and there's so many cool coffee shop places to go. Like,   📍 take yourself out.  You guys do things. You don't have to be in your house all the time.  And then go ahead and make yourself a   📍 Spring Vision board.  You know, Pinterest course style.

You can make so many   📍 fun boards on Pinterest.  I have a lot of fun at night, like just listening to books, like instead of scrolling TikTok, you know, or watching like a random show. A lot of times I will scroll Pinterest. I'm not just scrolling TikTok or watching Netflix, by the way, you guys, I don't think there's a difference between that.

Me scrolling Pinterest, but a lot of times I'll make like little mini vision boards for myself,   📍 like using Pinterest. So make   📍 a   📍 sober spring Pinterest board.  Like what are some things you wanna do? So after you have number one, romanticized sobriety. Number two, peace. Number two, I don't know.   📍 Number two, you wanna upgrade your social life. 

Seriously be the friend who makes plans that don't revolve around drinking. Try sober events. They absolutely do exist. Like has anyone   📍 heard of yoga? Just kidding.  If you're not into yoga, 'cause I'm not really. Go find some sober events.   📍  📍 I have gone to sound baths.  I've done like all sorts of different things.

Like look something up and go to it. Like, it doesn't have to be declared sober, but there are things that obviously people are not drinking at and when you're upgrading your sober life, like   📍  📍 don't be afraid to just kind of  use humor.  It's okay to make fun of yourself.  You know, I retired from hangovers, but I still judge your bad decisions.

I actually really love that. You know, it's just is what it is. You don't have to be ashamed that you're not drinking. That is one thing I really wish I would've done differently along my sobriety journey.  It's just not give   📍 two flying fucks.  Like for reals, why did I care what people were going to think of me not drinking?

It's kind of wild for me to look back and see, but   📍 I was in such a shame and guilt state.  So if you're there, I encourage you, move out of that space. It's not doing you any good to be a martyr. You deserve to be sober and you don't really have to explain it to anyone.

Okay,   📍 at number three for your sober girl Spring, we are gonna take the no drunk texting challenge.  I'm kind of obsessed with this.   📍 How many times have you woken up and you have cringed at your own text?  That's alcohol. Because sober, you would never, just like I told you guys, I was   📍 like sober me. 

Would never say those things to my kids.   📍 Sober me would  never fall down on my elder dog.

So for sober girls Spring, let's take up the whole stance of   📍 sober. You would never,  one thing I say a lot because people are expecting me to react sometimes, like I would've in the past, like, you know, drunk Sam would've. And I have made jokes like I've been with my family and you know, they're looking at me and they're looking at my mom and they're looking at me and I am like, oh, sober, Sam doesn't really care.

So sober you would never do that. So try 30 days of sober, fully   📍  📍 intentional texting, and I  think it will change your life. All right.   📍  📍 Number four for your Sober Girl spring. We're gonna track this whole glow up thing. 

So you're gonna use an app to see how much money and how much time you save the time. One was so big for me. Notice how your skin, your energy, and your confidence has skyrocketed. Why don't we do this?   📍  📍 Why don't we just like use our notes app, track our time, track our money,   📍 and make  little notes  about how our skin, our energy, how we're feeling, how we confidently showed up in a situation.

 And here's a   📍 sober springing fact for you.  Most people report feeling noticeably   📍  📍 happier within three weeks of quitting alcohol.  And if you're not a Notes app, girl, go ahead and get yourself a notebook. Or if you're a guy listening to this, go ahead and get yourself a notebook.

  📍 A number five, find your sober alter ego.   📍  📍 Create a persona who is the hottest, most powerful, most magnetic version of you?  What would she do? And hint here, not waste her time hungover. 

But really for your Sober Girl Spring    📍 society sells us This idea that drinking is freedom, but is it really freedom  if you feel like shit the next day. I know it's not for me. I don't want to ever wake up feeling like that again, like ever.

That is like my worst nightmare, and I really do believe that the  real flex isn't being able to hold your liquor.   📍 The real flex is not needing it at all.  Not needing it for social situations, not needing it to cope with life, not needing it to cover up the hurt, the pain, not needing it to   📍  📍 celebrate the joy in the good times, because that's the truth about alcohol. 

We used it for our shitty days and we used it for our best days. So let me ask you this. Sober girls spring, give it a shot.   📍 And what is the worst case scenario here?  Like what is the worst that could happen? You feel better. You lose some toxic friends. You save a lot of money. I. You feel amazing and you actually remember what you did this weekend.

You wake up on a Sunday   📍 feeling bomb.com, you're  gonna take yourself out for a coffee date. You're gonna go get a long run in whatever it is that makes you fucking feel good. What is the worst that could happen? So this is my challenge to you. Try a sober springing for 30 days and   📍 then DM me on Instagram though, Samantha Parker.  And please share your glow up story with me or DM me on TikTok. I get a lot of dms over there. I love TikTok. Okay? This is not a podcast about TikTok, but that's okay.

DM me, message me, email me. Send me a pigeon. Let me know how it's going. Let me know what comes up for you. Because   📍 Sober Girl Spring is real and it's here to stay.  📍 

Oh, and just to cover all my podcast bases here, make sure you guys subscribe, share this episode. If you loved it, tag me. You know, do all the little things.  Just show a little love. And thank you so much for being here. And thank you for listening to this episode of the Samantha Parker Show.