I Didn’t Think I Was an Alcoholic, but I Knew Something Was Wrong with Laura Nelson, Sober Life Rocks

Laura got sober in 2020 and started sharing on TikTok right away, but didn’t say anything at work for a long time. It wasn’t shameful. It was fear. Fear that if she didn’t stay sober, everyone would know. Fear that people would assume she had a problem, even though she did.

She talks about hiding it, compartmentalizing her drinking around conferences, and the moment someone walked up to her at a meeting and said, You’re part of my sober story. That was the shift. She began to notice how many people were watching, how many were quiet about their own stories, and how loud hers actually was.

We got into the gray area of drinking, peer pressure, and how sometimes people just don’t want to drink but feel like they have to. Laura shared how Sober Life Rocks started after she asked one question at a wellness panel, and 15 percent of the room raised their hands. That turned into a movement, a book, and now an entire conference.

She’s also deep into AI. Not in a weird tech bro way, but in a real, helpful way. Using it like a tool. Like a buddy. Research, writing, brainstorming, and offloading all the things. We’re not pretending it’s perfect, but it’s helping. Just like sharing your story does.

Connect with Laura

Website: https://soberliferocks.com/

Instagram: @soberliferocks

Step into Your Sober Era! Are you ready to embrace a life of clarity and empowerment? ✨ Check out Sam’s Sober Club on Substack for journals, tips, community and more [Subscribe Now ➔] Sam's Sober CLUB | Samantha Parker | Substack

Want to Work with The Samantha Parker for Content Management CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@samanthaparkershow

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@thesamanthaparker

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thesamanthaparker/

Transcript

 Hey guys. Welcome back to the Samantha Parker  Show. Today I'm sitting down with Laura. She is the other half of Sober Life Rocks, which. I did have your other half on the podcast a few weeks ago, and it was a really great episode. So welcome to the podcast, Laura. I'm excited to be here. Usually I lead before Margie, so this is fun.

You probably heard some of her stories and now we'll see if I tell this like the same thing on the other half. I don't know. I feel like she's got her own story though because she, was sober for so long before she came out as sober. Yeah, and I find that so fascinating. Yeah, but how long were you sober before you, I'm air quoting here, came out Well, I, yeah, right.

I, before I came out I actually started on TikTok, like day two. I was, so my sobriety, so I've been out quote unquote since the beginning. But, I got sober in 2020 and I, we started Sober Life Rocks the end of 2023. So, but I didn't tell anybody in my professional space. I was sober, not. Because I was embarrassed or not was I honestly, if I really do a gut check, it was 'cause what if I didn't stay sober?

Like I, I didn't, I was like, well, I didn't wanna risk it. And I also didn't want to think, people thought I to think I have a problem, even though I had a problem. Right? And so I didn't tell anybody for a very long time. Somebody actually came to me a couple years in and saw me at a meeting and said, Hey.

I've been following you on TikTok, you're part of my sober story. He was like seven months sober and my heart dropped because I was like, oh God. Like people know I'm sober. So that's when everything sort of collided. I'm like, why do I care that people think I'm sober? Right? So, but it took a little bit to, to tell everybody in my world.

Isn't it interesting that we're so obsessed with like, everyone's gonna care that we're not able to drink. But think about it though, how people care when we don't drink. Mm-hmm. Like, so of course like societally, we go to a event and they're like, what do you mean you're not drinking? Why are you sure you can't have a glass of wine?

Like, so as a society we've been indoctrinated with, people care about it, so it's just easier to be quiet about it or just have your inner circle know. Yeah. But that was my biggest thing though, is I'm like, all these people are gonna now think I'm a horrible person because I'm not drinking. Right? Yes.

And I think that's just wackadoodle thinking. Yeah, it is. It is everything. And that's what we love about sober life Rocks. That's what I love about your podcast and you coming out and talking to people about it. Like, we've gotta change the message. We've gotta change the way we look at this. And Margie did get sober in a time where.

There was a very big stigma around it and that there was a big issue and at the time that's all they knew was, alcoholics Anonymous. You come here and we're your people now. There's just so many people like you and me and so many influencers are out there now talking about being sober or sober curious or sober ish that I think it's changing our society for sure.

I do remember laying on my backyard. I was like five days sober and I actually got COVID and I was laying in my backyard in the sun. It's the middle of the summer here in St. George, and I was like, God, why have you done this to me? So my like, thought I was like, like the spread arms out in the middle of my lawn.

Someone would've probably thought I was crazy and I was laying there just burning in a hundred degrees and I was like, why have you done this to me? Well, I actually, it's funny because before I met my husband who's sober, before that I actually had a really dark moment and I prayed to God. I was like, I've gotta do something with this alcohol like this.

I have a problem. Of course, I didn't voice it to anyone. And then like, I don't know, a week or two later, I met my husband. Been who was sober. And I'm like, okay, God, that was funny. I wasn't looking to get sober. I was just looking to get it under control. Like gimme somebody who's healthy, right? And here he walks in, he is like, I don't care if you drink, but I don't.

And I'm like, what do you mean you don't drink? Like, I had no idea what that even, how do you do life without drinking? Right. Yeah. How has that looked like for you guys navigating? So was that just like dating, obviously? Yeah. Yeah, dating. Yeah. And he's done aa, or he did aa. He doesn't go as much anymore because we're more connected with like this naked mind and sober life Rocks.

But he didn't care if I drank. In fact, he was totally fine with it. Which was great because he didn't put that on me. It was my decision to stop drinking. But he was fine with it. Now, I didn't drink around him very much. I actually, that's when I started to taste what sobriety was like, because I would go days without drinking, which I never did before that.

And then, but what happened is I'd go to my conference meetings when I'm a speaker and I'd go to events. I'd drink more because now I'm like, okay, now I'm with, you know? And so then I was actually drinking more than I was before because I was. Compartmentalizing it into different parts of my life. Oh, that's interesting, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, because before it was, you know, I would travel, right? So I'd go to the bar and at the airport and have a drink at the bar, and then have a drink on the plane, and then I'd have a drink at the hotel lobby. And then you'd pace yourself right now? No, no. I would get on the airplane drunk, and then we would be hungover when we landed.

So, yeah. Actually, there are so many. You were talking about that recently. We were talking about it and I have memories of days getting to the other end going, oh my God, I did not mean to drink this much. Like now I've gotta like go see people or go do things. It just, yeah. So now. When I met him, like I would go like a week without drinking, but then when I would go to drink, I would do, I was drinking more because I was just like, I got one more, I got one more day and then I gotta go back.

And it was actually, it was good probably 'cause it really got me to realize that I might have a problem and I was really, really scared to lose the best thing in my life. But him one day going, okay, well you're a drunken mess. Like we, this isn't gonna last. So he was very cool about it, but it was definitely a wake up call.

Yeah. So how did he like help you navigate into aa or what was your story there? You're like, yeah, so he, I was sober curious. What happened actually was I started getting influencers. Don't ask me how, and I get comments like this a all the time. I don't know if you get it, but I get comments on my TikTok or sober life rock stuff where people are like, why are you on my for you page?

Like, I don't have a problem with alcohol. And I'm like, I don't, I'm not TikTok. I don't know why I'm on your for you page. Maybe this is a sign, right. But I would have people show up in my Instagram reels or my, for my TikTok, and it would about be about sobriety and I would almost hide it from my husband.

'cause I was like. Why are these on my, coming up, on my for you page? But I was intrigued by it. So I started watching influencers talk about sobriety and sober choices and everything. And then, spending time with him. And then he had me go to a couple AA meetings with him. Not because, just 'cause he went to aa.

And I really like the speaker meetings when they have speakers that get up because I resonate with speakers. Yeah, I love the speaker meetings. They have one here. It's like Saturday Night Uhhuh, and I love that. And I would hear these speakers and in my head I'm like. That's kind of me. That's kind of me.

That's kind of me. Even though I wasn't saying I was an alcoholic and I wasn't, trying to get sober. So anyway, fast forward to the last day. I ended up coming home from a conference. I would, I was at a three day conference. I was supposed to speak on the third day. And on the second day, the meeting planner asked me if I would speak a day early because somebody, their flight got messed up or something and I couldn't speak a day early because I had drank too much the night before.

And I always watched how much I drank the night before I spoke. And so that hit me where I was like, you know, I, this is my job and I can't even get on stage to speak. And then the next morning I got, well then I was wearing an aura ring during that time I was trying to get good sleep and I started tracking what was happening at night when I was sleeping the alcohol off.

When really the aura ring shows you, you're not sleeping it off, right? Yeah. What is, I've been really curious about that. Like, because I've seen people post like when they drink and don't drink, like their recovery. Is that what you were kind of finding was? Yep, yep. So I, I'm a professional sleep bird. I love sleeping.

Like I slept 12 hours last night. Like I love to sleep and I used to justify drinking where I would just sleep it off. If I got a good night's sleep, I'd wake up in the morning, right? Which isn't true, but I would say I was sleeping it off. Well, when I started wearing the ora ring, I actually started seeing what was going on to my, my heart, my heartbeat, my recovery.

And realizing that I wasn't actually, I was working off the alcohol for, you know, five of the eight hours and the last three hours was I actually getting sleep. And the last night I drank, I actually took the ring off and put it in my makeup bag in the hotel because I didn't wanna know. I was like, I don't wanna know, which is.

A whole, if you're hiding and you're just like, this, this could be, this is a problem. And then the next morning I got up and I went to the gym 'cause I wanted to feel good 'cause I was gonna be speaking and I watched a TED talk, I was trying to find something motivational and there's a TED talk on gray area drinking, which is where I felt like I was, because I was battling this whole idea of like, do I have a problem?

Do I not have a problem and am I an alcoholic or not? And a mom and I'm a business owner. I'm a. Speaker, like I can't have a problem. And I watched this TED talk and it just clicked for me. I came home that night, I was hungover and went the next morning, wrote my husband a note, you know, I'm in bed half the day and he comes home from work and I hand him a note and I'm crying and we're newly married or we are engaged at the time.

And he opens a note and I say in the note, I think I have a problem with alcohol and I think I need to stop. And he looks at me and he is like, that's it. It. Okay, we got this. And I'm like, well, thank you. You know? But now looking back, we kinda laugh 'cause we're newly together. And here I hand him this note, he's probably thinking, well, she cheated on me, or like, she wants to leave me or something.

You know? He is like, oh, alcohol, I've been there. Right? So, but I didn't go to aa, what I actually did, I, it was January, 2020. And it wasn't planned, but the world shut down in March, so everything was, I couldn't have been to AA meetings anyway. They were trying to figure out how to do everything on Zoom, but I, the very first book I read was This Naked Mind, which I've told you about, this Naked Mind was a game changer for me.

I read it in one day. And Annie Grace just explains. Exactly why alcohol is so prominent in our life, what it does to our, what to us, why it's part of our society, why we grew up with it. And it changed my perspective from I can't drink to, I choose not to drink. And then the world shut down and I just worked on a lot of me and stuff, and so I.

I call, they call it, I'm a spontaneously sober or spontaneous sobriety. 'cause I didn't do a 12 step program. Yeah. But I had the support of somebody who did, and I had lots of, online education. I say I got sober on TikTok is so, I, I love making my TikTok. So honestly, I was like, I'm just gonna start sharing this on TikTok.

And I remember in October I was at a like business event and we were on the beach and I was like, is that stupid that I'm like talking about sobriety? I should be talking about social media. 'cause that's like how I make money. Yeah. And then I was like, everyone's like, no. Why wouldn't you talk about sobriety?

Yeah, for sure. And it, and it's, the thing is, is there was many times in my life where I felt very alone. I don't know about you, but I just felt like mm-hmm. I mean, it's in your brain. Nobody understands, they don't have the challenges. And so to hear people tell. Their story or a thing or a tip or a, or an aha they had or whatever, and go, oh my God, I'm not alone.

I'm not alone. And there's a lot of people who wouldn't go into a meeting or wouldn't go admit it to their family, but they can feel like they're connected with someone like you or me or whoever on online. So I think it's great what you're doing. Yeah, and I don't think you have to get sober in a 12 step program.

I enjoyed the 12 steps, but I have to, this is, I just wanna share this so that people understand there's like different levels. I think the 12 steps are great, but what I've noticed is like I had already been to Tony Robbins. I had already done all this like mental health work. I have been to therapists for years, and so it wasn't like this big aha experience that I've seen a lot of people have, but I do think the 12 steps are freaking amazing, you know?

Right. Yeah. Like they gave me more insights into myself than all the thousands of dollars I've spent doing all this other stuff, you know? Yeah. I think that the thing is, is that there are definitely, there's so many programs out now, and we've learned so much about our subconscious and the addiction, the addiction part of our brain, and all of that, that I think that.

What's most important for me is that you get connected to a community. And you realize that it's not as EI mean, if it was as easy as going, I'm just not gonna drink anymore. You probably would've stopped a while ago. Right. Exactly. Yeah. And the first step is just becoming aware of your relationship with alcohol.

Like what is it doing for you and what is it? And 12 Steps is great. There's also other great programs out there. I'm a certified coach for this Naked Mind. There's other, yeah, so we were talking about that on TikTok. 'cause me and you did a TikTok together that was fun at TikTok live. TikTok Live.

We're gonna do more. That was fun. I like that. We're gonna do more. It was funny 'cause we tried to do it once and then I was like, oh, it turns out you have to do it three times before you can unlock the guest feature. So I had to go live two other times and I was like, what is happening? I don't know why, but like the TikTok live, I'm like, this is.

For, this isn't for me, but I'm, I love it. I love it Now. So lucky for me though. I thought we, I wasn't gonna go live with you yesterday when you were like, okay, let's go live again, and you had done the three, and then right before you're like, you're gonna, you're gonna be a guest. I'm like, I'm glad I actually got dressed and did my hair because I was expecting to just write comments to you.

No, I was like, I have to do the three lives so that she can go live in this one. Yeah. Well, so I, I put that pressure on myself. That's right. And even during that, like when we were talking, we didn't even have a plan on what we're talking about. And people were writing comments like, I feel you, I'm five days sober, I wanna stop drinking.

Like, you know, everybody's in the same boat. Potentially. Yeah. Okay. Let's reverse for a second. You mentioned gray. Did you call it gray level drinking or gray? Gray area. Drinking gray area. Okay. Explain this to me. So I don't know her name, so don't quote me on it, but if you go on YouTube you can search for it.

It's gray area drinker. She's got millions of views and I should know who she is. Margie would know. Margie is the, we're yin and yang. She remembers all the people's details and stuff. I'm more like big picture. But, she talks about how. We're in this, you know, am I an alcoholic or not? And searching on the internet and do, how much should you drink?

And you go to the doctor and the doctor's like, well, how much do you drink a a day? And that's okay. And this, and really, when it comes down to it, it's, and I don't know if she talks about it in this, but since then I've learned a lot. It's about where alcohol use disorder, alcohol use disorder is not, yes.

Like you have it or you're not. Alcohol use disorder is a spectrum and they've found, they've done a lot of research over the last, I don't know how many years, and she talks about the fact that it doesn't matter whether you check a box that says, yes, I'm an alcoholic, or not to decide to stop drinking or decide, decide to cut back or to decide.

And that's where she was, where it was just. I may or may not be an alcoholic, I don't know. But that itself is not, is keeping me from just recognizing that I'm somewhere in the gray. I'm a gray area. Right. And for me, I was like, that's me, because I, I don't know, I just always thought alcoholic was, a guy down on the street, drinking out of a brown bag.

And here I, I see that all the time too. I'm like, under the bridge, they have liver failure, but they're like, whatever. They're in and outta the hospital and they're kind of yellow. Yeah, exactly. And so for me it kept me from like the, I would, two things kept me from it. I didn't, I didn't know what alcoholic was, so I was like, okay, well I must not be that.

And I was afraid of getting sober because the word sober sounded boring. And I was like, well, I don't wanna be boring or be bored, and I don't think I'm an alcoholic, so I guess I'm okay. But I knew internally I wasn't. Okay. Right. Like I was just battling the, the exhaustion of like where to eat, how, when to eat, how much to drink, where do they have alcohol there, do they not?

Do we go to 4th of July? Do I have to get up in the morning? Like all of the things that I'm just like, oh my God. And so when I heard this Ted talk about gray area drinker, it gave me, I was like,, she's speaking my language. That's where I am right now. And if she can choose to not drink, then I could figure that out too.

Yeah, that's beautiful. No, I highly recommend it. Look for it. It's a really good TED talk. I mean, 15 minute talk, but it's really great. Yeah. So one thing I've noticed as, so I'm like just a year into my not drinking, is like at first I was really, really worried about myself, and now I'm like, well, I know I'm good now.

So do you have any tips for anyone who's like, they know they're good, but maybe they're like stressed about other people's behaviors? Yeah. And it's funny because, I was just listening, we were just talking about this, another podcast, Richard Rolls podcast. Richard Roll is a 12 step. He's, I don't know how many years sober now.

He's an endurance athlete, and he was saying where he actually said the thing. Well, I'm good. Like, I got it under control. I'm good. And he relapsed, or he, we call it a data point at TNMI, the Naked Mind, but, and he learned a lot. I mean, he went and had six beers and then he realized, and so you're never good.

You're always, every day is, is kind of just like. You know, I, I see someone drinking and I'm like, God, the, that glass of wine looks good. Mm-hmm. I've been sober for five and a half years, but then we've talked about this. You play the tape for it and you're like, one glass of wine turns into two glasses of wine that turns into a bottle of wine and turns in, and really, I have plans in the morning and I wanna get up and go on that walk or whatever.

It's not worth it. I'll go get a non-alcoholic, something fun. Right? So anyway, there's that, there, there's that. Even when you're 30 years sober, I think there's still gonna be once in a while where you're just like, Hmm, I gotta play the tape through. Right. Because it's never good. But for, for those that are newly sober who feel like, okay, this is good for me.

I mean, the biggest thing that I feel is that when others. Potentially challenge you. And it could be from various things. It could be peer pressure's real, like a hundred percent. We're talking about like holiday weekend. We're coming into the fourth. You and I doing this right now, where it's like real, where people are like, have a beer.

Why don't you have a beer, have a drink, whatever. Peer pressure's real. And a lot of times we get a lot of question around why aren't you drinking and what are you, what's in your cup? Right? First of all, it shouldn't matter. Like that's my philosophy. It shouldn't matter what's in your cup. You do you I do me.

But the other thing I think is that I feel like a lot of times people are doing this because they don't wanna drink alone, which is their problem, not yours. They're probably a little inquisitive or wondering how do you do it? Because they're gonna wake up, hung over tomorrow and feel like crap and realize that you're not.

And so they've maybe never seen or been around somebody who's doing sober choices. So they're like, well, if you're not gonna join me. Tell me, they're learning, trying to watch you to do more. And then lastly, sometimes I think that people, they're like, have a glass of wine. Are you sure you don't want a glass of wine?

The wine's good and we feel like they're pressuring us, but they would do the exact same thing with a ice cream or piece of cake. Do you want a piece of cake? It's really good. Why don't you have a piece of cake? And so what I've learned, a lot of this is my story. That's their story. And you know it, I, in the beginning I didn't even tell people I was sober 'cause I was so tired of people saying, well I only drink on the weekends.

Well, I only drink wine. I only drink. I'm like, I don't care what you drink, don't care what I drink. I don't care what you drink. So it's kind of learning navigate other people. And I don't know if that's what you meant by other people, but there's a lot of things that we have to learn, why they do the things that they do.

And that's okay. That's them. You do you. Yeah, it is. Well, so I for sure was a pusher. Mm. I'm like, just have another drink. Just stay and have like a whole bottle of wine with me. Oh, let's get another, like that was a hundred percent me. I was like the worst person to be around if you were not wanting to drink.

Yep. Yep. And you know, and you've talked about this a lot, you have to learn, the first year of sobriety is a lot of firsts. Like, so you have to learn to have an exit plan. You have to learn to take your own drinks. You have to learn who certain people are that you may not be around as much anymore because they do push more than others.

You have to learn and realize also, that people are watching you and you don't even realize it. 'cause they're almost envious of you. Like they almost, I mean this sounds bad, but they subconsciously are like, our brain wants us to prove us. Right? And so they're watching you to go, well, Sam, Sam will drink eventually.

Sam won't, Sam won't go another year. And every year you're sober. They're gonna be like, wow, how do you do it? Because they potentially want that too, right? They see the growth in you and the happiness and the, so. That's their story. There's a friend, there's so many on sober life rocks in our community.

She was telling a story once where she was going for a walk with a bunch of ladies at night. They had kids and dogs and stuff, and it was the neighborhood suburban thing. And she went out and they had their drinks and their, their TURs cups and they were drinking wine. And, the one lady. Said something to the sober lady who was very insecure about sobriety.

She was really new at it or whatever, and she said oh, what are you drinking in your cup? And she's like, salt or water or whatever. And the lady goes, oh, that's right. You're too goody. Two shoes to be drinking wine with us. Yeah. And it really hit her hard. And she called me and we, you know, talked through it or whatever.

The next time they were out on the walk, it was like two weeks later. 'cause she didn't go. The lady who said it pulled her aside and not only apologized. Said she thinks she has problems with alcohol too, and she's wondering if she could show her the way to get some help. So sometimes our people around us say the dumbest things.

Mm-hmm. And it's not about you, it's about them. Right. Yeah. And have to kind of go, I'm here if you need me, and I'm gonna go do me. Right. So, because that's a beautiful, imperfect example, I know it. Gosh, when was it? It was earlier this year. My grandparents were over and they were like sitting on the couch.

We were watching football and my husband was making steaks. You know, my grandpa says. You know, gosh, like, you look so good. And I said, oh, well, I'm still not drinking. And he goes at all. And I said, yeah, no, not at all. And he's like, at all, at all. And I'm like, not at all. And he goes, huh. And then he goes, it looks like it's really working for you.

Oh. And I was like, oh, thank you. That's awesome. I, when I went back in the road speaking, so I had been, we were home for COVID, the pandemic, and then I got back on the road, I don't know, two years later. And I'm at an event and one of my best, best, best, best friends. He was sitting at the bar and I went up to him, you know, we've traveled for years and years and he was my drinking buddy, right?

I, and I went up, sat down next to him at the bar and I ordered a mojito, like a mojito with no alcohol in it. And he hadn't seen me for two years, but he knew I was sober. 'cause he'd been watching it online. And he goes, oh my God, that's right. You don't drink. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, still. And I said, yeah.

And he goes, man, it's gonna suck for you. And he didn't even realize he said it, but like, I was like, you know, thanks. For the vote of confidence, right? Yeah. But like literally, I was like, and to this day, he doesn't even know he said it, but it was just like, those are the things sometimes people say and you're just like, well, awesome.

You know? And then I went up, he's like, you gotta come to our suite party tonight. And I'm like, okay. It was my first time going to a suite, you know, like a party up in the private suite and whatever. And I walked in and. He's like, you gotta stay. People are gonna expect you there. I'm like, okay. And 30 minutes in, nobody was paying attention to me anymore.

And I went downstairs and I got myself a cupcake and a decaf coffee, and I went to bed. I went to my room and went to bed. And nobody cared. Nobody cared, you know? But that was his reality. Yeah, I, I telling you like, that would've been me, you know, I had this famous saying, I would say all the time, I'd be like, oh, well we're friends, but we're not friends friends 'cause they don't drink.

Mm-hmm. And I was like, you just can't connect with people when they don't drink. It's 'cause they didn't wanna be around non-drinkers. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And I was the one who was, I was the first one at the bar and the last one to leave, not alone, but I always kept people, like I get someone to go with me.

Even if it meant like, let's skip out on this thing and go get mimosas. Then it was, another girlfriend came over, we're having wine, and that one was going to bed and somebody new walked in and next thing you know, and I was the first and last and nobody actually knew because it was, I was rotating through people, you know?

But yeah. Yeah. You look back now and you're like, oh, no wonder I had a problem with alcohol. I know. I'm like, Hmm, you don't think you don't think so? Or like you don't say, that's what I was looking for. I was like, what's that phrase again? Yep. Okay. So eventually though you're at this event and tell me about this.

It really led to Sober Life Rocks. I wanna hear this story. Yeah, so, so I'll go a little before that 'cause Marky probably told some of this, but a little before that I went to another dental, 'cause I'm in the dental industry, another dental conference, um, probably four months before the, the, when sober Life rocks kicked off.

And this dental conference was not one I had ever gone to before. It was very different than a lot of the conferences. It was very corporate. There's a lot of corporate coming into our industry, a lot of like guys in suits and women in heels and jackets and trying to, you know, grow the corporate ladder and I've been there, done that.

I was 20 something once trying to be an executive and so I walk into my tennis shoes and my. Whatever. And I'm just like, with my mom clothes, I guess I'm in my fifties, but, and I was a little intimidated at the beginning and I'm watching all these young women professionals, really wearing the suits and the stuff and really trying to make themselves in the world, whatever.

And I was like, wow, okay, cool. Like, just own your space, whatever. And that night at the event, the evening event, it got sloppy drunk, like just pathetic drunk. And these women who were trying to like. Carry their own. We're on dance floors, falling over, dancing on guys. And so the next day I met somebody who ran the conference that we're about to talk about and she, we were talking about how.

She's not even sober, but how pathetic the night before was and how women need to lift each other up and realize you don't have to do this like old boys school kind of thing. So she, during that, I said something about being sober and that I watched this and she's like, oh, that's right, you're sober.

And she's like, would be on a wellness panel for me. Talking about your choices and how things have changed for you at a women's retreat. She holds in November, so this is 2023. I'm not a wellness kind of person. I'm not a yoga breathwork person at all. I'm a systems customer service, like teaching things.

So for me to be on a wellness panel is kind of hilarious, right? So I'm next to like a happiness coach and a yoga person and a mind Bo, all these things. But because I'm sober, thankfully she put me on the panel and I actually think it was, it's an amazing thing because there's so many wellness panels, so many wellness things that we're talking about at there.

But. How great is your wellness thing if you go home and drink a bottle of wine at night, like mm-hmm. Right? Like you could do yoga and meditation all day long, and if you're bearing the real issues in the bottle. Anyway, so I'm on the panel and it's 125 women in a room. And I happen to say, how many people are sober, sober ish or sober?

Curious. And like 15% of the room raised their hand. And Margie was one of them who's my business partner. And I knew she was sober 'cause she had told me, 'cause she'd been following me on TikTok and came up to me privately and said, Hey, I don't drink either. And I was like, oh, okay. , But we didn't realize there was all these other women at this conference who weren't drinking.

And so, and everybody was sort of, was like. Kind of looking over their shoulder, like a little worried about who saw and who knew, which is just sad. Right. And then the meeting planner came up to me, which full story, which is interesting, is her daughter is sober, she's in aa, her daughter has been sober for like five years.

And this meeting planner love her to death, came up to me and said, I never thought about having sober choices at, in any of my events before. And there's like 15% of the women in here. All I have is beer, wine, and water. I'm, and she's all about loving on people and inclusivity. She's like, I need to do better as a, as an event planner, because I mean, literally walking.

Absolutely. Yeah. We get mimosas when you walk in. Like, it's a women's retreat, right. And I'm thinking, now, looking back, I'm like, her daughter is, is an alcoholic who's in recovery. Who, and she's never thought, she's like, well her, her whole thing we've talked about now is, well, that's my daughter's problem.

And it's like. Well, no, this is a, this is a, this is a US problem. So anyway, that's where Silver Life Rocks launched. Margie and I got together and really it was, a change in like, just so people don't feel alone at these events. And then a change, my interest is in a change in the event planners because.

She only had beer, wine, and water. And it was like, after that she did, Uber Eats and got like fun sparkling things and we hadn't, lots of people were thanking her for having better options. And so it just, it's really where Sober Life Rocks kind of launched. Yeah. And even if you are like, a drinker, like you're, you want a glass of wine or like maybe you don't that night or maybe you just maybe want one glass of wine and like, why can't you have like a Diet Coke?

You know? Yeah. There was a lady who came up, so she has this conference every year, so now Sober Life Rocks is, we're going into our. I guess it's a year and a half. So our third conference is coming up soon, but last year I got on stage and talked about Sober Life Rocks, talked about my book, and somebody came up to me the next day.

So we, there's a big event that night and it's all like super dressed up. Everyone wears Go gowns and there's a bar and food and everything. A lady came up that I didn't know the next day after that event, and she thanked me because she, because. Of what I was doing. She didn't drink the night before. I gave her permission not to drink.

I didn't know her. I'd never met the lady, but because I said I wasn't drinking and there was other people in this room not drinking, this lady got permission not to drink. Right. And she probably drinks and whatever, but for whatever reason, she didn't want to that night. That's great. Right. We're not saying you have to stop drinking.

Just no, it's your choice. We don't care what's in your cup. So yeah, it's definitely made a difference there. Okay. You just mentioned your book. Tell me about your book. So Margie and I, when we started, we were, she's like, whatever we do, you're the face of this. I'm gonna be in the background and I was like, okay, cool.

'cause I love to speak and I love to do all these things. , But then I pushed her into the podcast 'cause she's so good at interviewing and. Yeah, I mean, talking on a podcast and I was like, that is not me. I like to talk, but I like to, I'm not a good interviewer. , But I really was still on the road speaking and going to these conferences and a lot of the conferences that we were talking to were like, you need better choices.

And so what they would do is they would say, okay, we're gonna get with a convention center or the hotel, and we'll have something for you. And I'd show up to the event and they would have a sticky suite. Lemonade concoction in the corner with a spout and it would say, sponsored by sober life rocks. And it would be this disgusting mocktail thing, right?

And then they would come up to me and they would say, how did we do we, we have a mocktail. And I'm like I didn't wanna feel bad, but I'm just like, it's okay. Like, I appreciate it. The e effort is great, but I don't want a sticky sweet lemonade thing in the corner. In a kid's cup. Yeah. And here we are all standing around the bar again.

And so I had an interest of really helping meeting planners where Margie's like you, do you, and go, go run and write that book. So I wrote a book called The Inclusive Event Planner, and it's for anybody who's hosting an event. It could be five people to 5,000 people. It doesn't matter. And in the book, it's not just about the drinks.

Like I have two, two chapters on alcohol in the bar kind of thing. But the rest of the cha chapters are on, like helping people feel included when they walk in and having the right type of evening events and having the right type of networking and even down to the furniture placement to make it easy for people to network.

So my hope, my whole hope with this is to help event planners because they don't even know what they don't know because. Sober. The sober movement has been quiet. We've been anonymous, right? We've just been putting a line in our cup and going, okay, well we'll just do what everybody else is doing, when really they don't even know that they're losing a percentage of people not coming to their conferences or their events or leaving early.

And if they just tweaked a few things, people would stay longer. They'd be more involved. Yeah, and it's not even for the alcoholics. I mean, there's tons of, I live in Utah, so Yeah. Like there's, tons of Mormons or there's tons of religious people who don't drink. Yeah. There's tons of just people in general, and I really, I especially, I would say the first half of this 2025 is people are like coming out of the woodwork that are like alcoholics, poison.

Yeah. Well, and also that it's beyond that. It's also the fact that, the younger generation doesn't wanna drink. Like that's not their, so they're not even, we can find all the stuff we want on YouTube and online. And so they're going to conferences for connections or they're going to events for connection.

Right. Fomo. They wanna be there. But if meeting planners, if their main draw is open bar, that's not the draw that the younger generation or whatever, healthy fitness people or like. There's a whole slew of people who aren't drinking and, but meeting planners have never thought about like, how do we, and it, and I relate it to like vegetarians and vegans, like back in the day you'd have to go to a special table in the corner to get your vegetarian meal, right?

This is a great, this is a great analogy, Lauren, right? Yeah. And now they serve you right there at the table and they know your allergies. And so now when I register for a conference, it says, what are your dietary needs? I'm like, no alcohol. Better drink. Like it's a diet genius. Yeah. Yeah. If we all start asking them for it and we spotlight it, they, it's just, nobody's really spotlighted it.

We really haven't said, you gotta have better options. And the challenge we're facing now is getting the meeting planners to pay attention. And now above that is the corporate world, the, the hotels and the conference centers, and they're controlled by big alcohol. Big alcohol and big alcohol is pulling the purse strings there.

And so now we've gotta kind of fight through that. But it will change. It just depends on how long, you know. Yeah. So that's what wrote the book. Well, I'm also noticing all these companies, these beverage companies are picking up on, this whole non-alcoholic sector, so you're starting to see a ton of non-alcoholic beverages come out.

The issue is that I'm finding is it's happening and they're doing well in the restaurant space. But they're not doing well in the pro, in the food and beverage catering event space yet. So you can go to a restaurant and get a non-alcoholic beer or a mocktail or something, a really good drink. But when you go up to the, we go to an event and they roll up the black bars in the evening, they don't have, I mean, we're lucky if they have like a Corona Zero or something like that, or a Heineken zero, but.

They really don't have it in the food and beverage catering space yet, and that's really where my focus was on event space. Yeah, well we just went to an all-inclusive resort like in May, and every time I go to the bar I'm like, don't put alcohol in that. Please don't put alcohol in that. And they were just, you know, they, it was literally like, it wasn't in the vocabulary.

I was just like, so I ended up drinking a ton of Coke. Zero. And that was like, that was it, you know? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And it's getting better, but it just takes more and more people talking about it which is, you know, which is why we're doing this. Because if more and more people are talking about it and more, for me it's like, like I said, I used to not, I just put a lime in my drink and not say anything about it because I didn't wanna deal with like.

People talking about whether they're drinking or not. But then I realized if I don't talk about it and you don't talk about it and Margie doesn't talk about it, then we have 15% of the people who are acting like they're drinking when really they're not. And then of course, the meeting planners don't know that because we're staying quiet.

And so then they just put more bar, alcohol in the bar instead of getting better options. Yeah, I went to an event in October and I thought they. They had done a great job. So it was like they had all, it was for like Halloween, so they had all these different like juices that were fun.

They were like glowing in the dark and stuff. And then they had the alcohol separate. So it was like you would just add it to the drink if you wanted it. And I liked that because it just like, it felt like we were all just doing whatever we wanted, you know? Oh. That's great. And I think that's really, I mean, the thing is is you know, when you wanna drink you will find the alcohol.

So have the drinks out, like as a thing, and then let the, like have the alcohol, just make it a sideline, don't make it the main focus. And so many of our events, it is literally, like I was talking to a guy who's sober in, he moved to some remote town in Illinois. He's one of the people we've talked to like through our podcast and stuff.

And he is in this remote town and he said when he got there, people are like. Do you want, you know, he's sober. They're like, do you wanna go fishing? He goes, it's fishing and drinking. Right? Do you wanna go golfing? It's golfing and drinking. Yeah. Do you wanna with hiking? You wanna go hiking and drinking?

Like everything is, is around alcohol. And he literally moved there and there's a drinking tent in their festival every year in the middle of town. And that's what they do. Everyone just stands around and drinks over whatever holiday it was. So he was like so tired of it. He went and got another tent.

Closer to the band and made it the alcohol free tent. And he's closer to the band, bigger. He is like, I don't, I don't want to you do you. I wanna do me and And he's got a big old tent now for people who don't drink and they all hang out there. And I'm like, that's what we have to do. Right? We just have to sort of.

Spotlight this and bring it up to show that you're not alone. Well, you're not alone. And then also, like everyone can be different. Everyone can make different choices. So I love that. He's like, fuck this. I'll just put up a different tent. Uhhuh. Yeah, that's what he said. And not only did he put up a different tent, he put it closer to the band.

So you actually wanna be in his tent if you really are there for the band. Right. And not the, yeah. So I think it was great. Okay. I wanna make sure we touch on Amplify, because that is coming up and we have not mentioned it, so we gotta mention it. Yeah. Amplify some of our voices is an event that you guys put on, it's coming up in January.

Yep. So, this came out where, or the reason we're doing this is Margie started our podcast and she's interviewing all these amazing people in our space in the sober space, which is a newer. Base, honestly. I mean, it's, it's growing a lot, but it's newer. And then I've been talking to lots of meeting planners and, and things 'cause of my book and one of the.

Thing that we've noticed is that it's very disconnected because we are a newer industry. There's people who are, have a lot of followers on Instagram or they have a a book that's out or whatever, but we don't know about each other. And we think that getting people connected in, even if you're not. A writer or a speaker or a podcaster, but you, just like we talked about, people are watching you and your community, right?

And you, if you are coming to, awareness of your relationship with alcohol, trying sober, curious, sober ish, sober, you know you're going against societal norms. You're going against what everybody around you is doing. And so. When you do those things, it takes a little bit of energy and we feel like there's a place where we can throw a conference where not only can we get people connected, but we can fill these people up.

We can fill you up, right? So just knowing that what is your story and celebrating your story, celebrating your decision to, to drink or not to drink, sorry, drink less or not drink. If you wanna write, if you wanna become a podcaster, if you wanna be a speaker, if you just wanna, , be bigger in your community, if you wanna share your story.

I, I don't know how you feel about this, but my husband, every time he, he's very introverted and every time he comes home from aa, he listens to other people's stories and then he basically tells me what he would've said at aa, but he tells me at home, because he was not the kind, he's not the kind of person to speak up.

Right. No, I feel that I like to just listen to aa. I do go to one, the one meeting, which is my home group meeting. It's, I feel very blessed for this, but they pass the book to everyone, so everyone talks or else, I don't think I would say anything. Which is so funny because I find, are you an extrovert? Not really.

Okay. Okay. Just all of her social. Yeah. I'm like, depends. I used to, I used to 100% say I was an extrovert and honestly, since I quit drinking, I'm like, no, I don't actually think I am. I actually did a personality test recently and it came down that I'm a situational extrovert. I'm like, that explains me well, like in certain situations I'm an extrovert, but I actually, now that I'm sober too, I'm not an extrovert.

Yeah. All the time. So, anyway. So amplify sober voices. There's two reasons. One, to connect more people in the sober space so that everybody gets to know everybody because we do feel alone a lot of times. And then the second thing is to amplify our voices. So whatever your story is, and you said a really good thing, like 12 steps, not the only way, right?

We all got into this space from our own journey. We just like, we all got into our issues with alcohol on our own story, we have our own stories to get out. And your story matters. And we wanna have a conference where people can learn and grow from each other. We have, speakers talking about, like speakers in the sober space on how to podcast, grow your podcast, influence writers, and speakers.

And then we have a lot of intentional networking planned where people can connect and grow. , It's the first ever conference. Of this sort. There are other sober conferences, like there's a weekend event. There's online networking, but nothing where it's one day intentional. Amplifying, amplifying sober voices.

So Margie and I are taking the risk doing the first one, January 15th. And it's at, in part of Pod Fest. So Pod Fest is a big podcasting conference, so we're super stoked about it. It's gonna be amazing. I'm excited to go. I, and I'm like trying to, I'm rallying my people. I'm like, we've gotta go to this.

So, yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be, we think it's gonna be one of those conferences where it's just like you leave and you go, that's it. This is, we wanna make it annual, maybe make it regional. We don't know where we're it's gonna, but we think that there's gonna be so much energy from this and the people who don't go are gonna feel FOMO for not being there.

Because it's just, we've never had anything like this and there's some amazing talk about speakers. There's some amazing people coming to this conference who. We're the groundbreaking. They wrote the books like six years ago, right? Yeah. They were already on social media seven years ago before anybody else was talking about sobriety.

So it's gonna be great to learn. There'll be people in the room that will be part of your sober journey. Like in fact, that's how I wanna start the conference. Like, who in here was somebody else in this room as part of their sober journey? Because there's like four people going that are part of my journey, right?

And they don't even know. That's cool. They don't even know who I am. But I'm gonna walk up and be like. I watched your tiktoks early on, so I, I've been like shocked at the people that have come to me and been like, I quit drinking. I was watching your videos, you know, and I'm like, what the hell? I had no idea.

You know what I'm saying? Uhhuh, you sure? Like that's a good idea. 'cause I'm a little bit of a mess. But that's the thing is you just, it takes one person who's, who's one step ahead of you that you resonate with and you're like, if they can do it, I can try it. Right. Yeah, absolutely. I think there's gonna be so many cool stories that come out of this conference.

I'm stoked. I'm super stoked. I can ask you a million questions about, sobriety, but one more thing I wanted to, it's like kind of a different topic, is you're really big in like the AI. I am getting there. I'm getting there. Yes. Yeah, like what are you doing with it? So I started working with AI like two years ago, mostly for myself personally, right?

Like just with like trying to write articles in social media and now playing with it. But, I think AI is a game changer for all of us. I'm specifically, talking about an in dental industry at the moment, but. It literally is not. Now there's people, listen to this. There's the, the bigger issue of the world and is robots gonna replace humans and all that?

I'm not talking about that now. Like that's a bigger global thing. Right? But if you actually look at all the things you do throughout the day, all the tedious. You know, things we don't like to do, tasks, whatever AI is either at the place where it can start to take those off of your plate and or it's coming, right?

So, so many people I talk to are hesitant about ai, don't know anything about ai. They're worried about ai. They don't even, and it's this, it's almost like overused, the word ai. It's just new technology for us, right? It's just new. But it's, it's, they call this a light bulb moment. This is a time where this new technology is put in the hands of the everyday person because.

All you have to do is know how to ask it a question and it will give you an answer. Um, and so my goal with AI is to get the average person to just start to understand what it is and start to play with it because it's coming so fast and it's going to be so impactful in every industry that if you try to hold it off and push it away.

You will get replaced by AI in your job, not because of ai, but they're gonna hire somebody who uses AI if you don't. Yeah, so it's really about just embracing the new technology. Oh, I've loved it here. I'll tell you some things that I, well, I use it for, and I told my husband the other day, I'm like, I don't know.

It was a weird, just, we listen to podcasts and we walk and someone was being like, weird fear mongering about ai. And I'm like, what a weird perspective. I'm like, because it's become like my little, I see it as like a little buddy, like my Apple watch, you know? Yeah. I'm like, my Apple watch will even tell me when I'm gonna start my period.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, it's just a little buddy. And we use it over here to do a lot of research, like, so I, I'm a social media manager, content creator, and my content team is using it to put out really, really incredibly knowledgeable posts about cancer for one of our cancer doctors. Yep.

And we're using AI to do that. I have a group of lawyers that I work for, and I help them with their podcast every week. And instead of combing through case documents online. AI does it for me. It pulls like the arguments and everything and we use 'em for the podcast. Yep. I use it to do, I just use it to do research on mental health for a therapist.

Like do, I'm like, what are you guys talking about? It's like, it's, I see it as such an enhancement. My actually, and for the sober journey for anybody who's on that journey. My daughter is, a kindergarten teacher and she uses AI to and from work. She talks to it and kind of like talk therapy of just like.

She's talked to it about what her goals are in her career and like what her, what's going on with like children and parents. And then she'll just have a conversation with it, even if it's she's had a bad day at work and she just wants to talk about like, wow, how it was bad and this kid did that, whatever.

And by the time she gets home, she feels better because. She can walk into her house and she's kind of gotten that off of her plate before she walks into her husband. Like for sobriety, I've gotta imagine, like I didn't use AI early on in so in sobriety, but, there's things that I think you could, you could set up custom GPTs and like chacha PT and put like.

With, according to all these people that I follow, guide me through my, sobriety journey, using their resources like, and really have it be a little buddy, like you talked about. I say it's like we're cloning ourselves. We have like a little clone to, to help us do the things. Well, and even I feel like it's making a lot of, like these online business, this is a completely side conversation, but a lot of these online like business courses obsolete, you know, because I asked AI to like do some stuff for me and I was like, oh, do you know what I mean?

I'm like, I'm also like, I'm learning. You're able to learn anything. Like it's like you figure out how to do something. Like now it's able to help you do it. Well, and I, I just took a role, so it's as the VP of AI for a company, and we were just talking about this 'cause we were talking about training videos.

Somebody asked me yesterday like, what do you see training videos? And I say, I don't see them being the same as before. I have training videos for my day job that are 10 minutes long and five years ago, 10 years ago, 10 minute videos were short form back then because people were making DVDs when I started.

Now there are 10 minute long videos. Nobody watches 10 minute long videos anymore unless you're really going in to fix a dishwasher or something. Right? So now what I see it is AI is gonna deliver as the answer, and some people need to see things visually. But the, the training videos are gonna be more like reels.

Like we're gonna just see the visual thing. We need to see, it'll deliver us the step by step or the how to or teach us. And then when you need to be taught something visually. The real will give you. And so I do think that, and then when you talk about, like I've made, I'm working with Synthesia, which is a software, and I can make, uh, clone videos of myself, like I have avatars.

So that avatar, I just give it a script and it's me teaching. The thing that's fi, you know, five seconds long and I don't even have to get in front of a camera. I don't even have to put my makeup on that day because the avatar does. So there's so much that's gonna happen. And the thing about it for anybody listening to this is it's coming faster than ever.

It's not like. When we'd heard about the internet. You're not old enough for that. Are you like life before? I am. I'm 40. Come on, Laura. Okay. Well, life before the internet, we thought the internet was gonna be like brochures and we were just gonna go learn about companies and it took years for it to get to e-commerce and all this stuff.

Ai, I mean, literally in the last six months, making a picture on AI versus what you can do on AI now. AI now to make a picture. And it's been six months, so it's just going faster than ever. Yeah, I used to love when I was little to listen to like the Britannica, like it was like for the PC uhhuh, it's probably in junior high, but I would like sit and put those different ones in and like, I just loved learning stuff.

And so I kind of look at it like that. And I know, I know there's probably like some negative, you know, downfall, but I'm like, if we can see it as like this amazing learning tool. Yeah. I think the thing is that there'll be a dichotomy in our world, where we're gonna know, eventually we're gonna learn and we are already, what's AI and what's human.

Mm-hmm. And if we can lean into the parts of human that only humans can do. So an example, I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about music. It's super cool now that you can, I don't know if this has been done yet, but you can listen to a song where Elvis is singing with Taylor Swift, like.

Yeah. That's crazy. Right? But we also know that's not real. We know that's AI generated, but it's cool. Okay. But then I also know what it's like to sit in to a nightclub and listen to a lady singing live on a microphone, and that gives me chills on my arms. And so. We're just gonna learn. When you look at pictures, my kids, right now, I'm, and I'm in ai.

My son who's 24, I send him a picture or a video and I'm like, oh my God, look at this. And he is like, mom, that's ai. And I'm like, really? God, it looks so real, you know? And I'm like, yeah, right. So we're gonna learn what's real and what's ai, and then really leaning into the human side of things. You have more time to spend doing podcasts and talking to people because you're not.

Doing all the research right, and then really leaning into the human side of things. No, I love it. And I think AI is fun too. Like do you watch the Yeti and Bigfoot videos? Yeah, my son just sent me one last night. Uhhuh? Yeah. He like finds a Zi and he's like, I'm crashing out guys. Have you seen the ones that are from the Bible, characters from the Bible, who you should search on that it's, yes.

There's also some really funny ones of Mormons, like with their garments. Oh, I haven't seen them yet. It's really funny. Well, my phone's sitting right here, so it's gonna come up next to me, thank you so much for being on the podcast today, and I will see you here in person next week. I'm excited. Thanks for this.

Bye.