Acting, Coaching, and Life Lessons with Amanda DeBraux

Finding Purpose Through Self-Discovery: A Chat with Amanda DeBraux

In this episode of the podcast, the host sits down with actress and certified life coach Amanda. They discuss Amanda's transformative experience at the Create and Cultivate event, where she forged meaningful connections and conversed on topics ranging from corporate transitions to personal losses. Amanda shares her powerful journey of self-discovery, ignited by the unexpected death of her brother, which led her to find clarity and pursue a career in acting while also embracing life coaching. They explore the importance of sharing personal stories, healing from past traumas, and the significance of living authentically. The conversation emphasizes the need for self-love, setting boundaries, and the impact of daily rituals on maintaining a positive mindset. Amanda also talks about her podcast, 'Mindset Artistry,' and her passion for helping others through empowerment and transformation.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:14 Meeting at Create and Cultivate

01:13 Deep Conversations and Personal Growth

02:10 Amanda's Background and Career

03:21 The Impact of Personal Loss

08:53 Pursuing Acting and Career Highlights

15:09 Balancing Life and Career

21:53 Working from Home and Social Interactions

25:18 Finding Your Voice and Speaking Up

26:09 Introduction to Mindset Artistry Podcast

27:46 Creating a Safe Space for Mental Health

29:49 Impact of Sharing Personal Stories

31:01 Dealing with Alcoholism and Community Support

36:32 Daily Practices for Self-Love and Healing

41:04 The Importance of Sharing and Healing Out Loud

43:08 Conclusion and Contact Information

Amanda DeBraux Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandadebraux?igsh=MTN4dGRpeXRucWFhZg==

Amanda DeBraux Website: https://amandadebraux.com/

Step into Your Sober Era! Are you ready to embrace a life of clarity and empowerment? ✨ Check out Sam’s Sober Club on Substack for journals, tips, community and more [Subscribe Now ➔] Sam's Sober CLUB | Samantha Parker | Substack

Want to Work with The Samantha Parker for Content Management CLICK HERE

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@samanthaparkershow

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@thesamanthaparker

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thesamanthaparker/

Transcript

Hey guys. Welcome back to the show. Today I am sitting down with. I'm gonna say we're friends. Can we say we're friends? Amanda? We can say we're friends. Yes. I take that very seriously. Yes, we are friends. Okay, so I met Amanda when I was out at Crate and Cultivate and I've talked a lot about Crate and Cultivate 'cause I've made a lot of connections from Creighton, cultivate.

We'll see how many times we can say that on this podcast. I'll cre and cultivate. 10 already at this point now, yeah, we're on like 75. But I met you at that event and it was such a fun event and I walked away with a few people that I'm like, oh, I really wanna connect with them. And you were one of 'em.

So we scheduled this podcast a little while ago and then we rescheduled. So here we are now today. It's October and we're finally recording it. So welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I had a great time at Create and Cultivate. There it is again. And then we can have someone count how many times we actually say that throughout this whole podcast.

Yes. And it was a really, I left with meeting a lot of new people as well and just connections and it was great to be surrounded by women who were supportive and open. And really passionate about what they do in their life, whatever that may have been. And also talking about transitions in their life from going from corporate to creative to even personal stories about death, which was quite surprising conversation that would come up.

Yeah, I had some really random conversations and then I know a lot of people that were there, they're like, oh, I know you don't drink. So then they were like telling me like their own stories, and so I was like, oh, this is really cool. Yeah, it was really great. It was really great.

I, again, the unexpected one was about death, and I was like, how? And it was an eyeopener for me to realize how many people have gone through some form of death in their life, whether it was from family, friends, associates, or just their personal like version that they had to kill off in order to become who they wanted, which was sparking inspiration within me to talk about it more.

Oh, that's cool. Okay, so let's dive into that then. We're gonna take a left turn here. But first, will you introduce yourself? I know you're an actress, but I always feel like people introduce themselves better than I can. Thank you. I appreciate that. I am Amanda Dubo. I am born and raised from the Bookey Down Bronx.

I am an actress, a podcast host. I am a certified life coach, helping others through empowerment and transformation, and just a lover of life and healing. Oh, I like that. I'm gonna start telling people, I'm like, I'm a lover of life. I think I could manifest that. Yes, yes. Manifesting it all. Like I have learned to love life through all its ups and downs and challenges and because that's just life and how do you balance through yourself through that.

It's not easy, but it becomes a lot better throughout your lifetime when you acknowledge it and say, all right, I'm gonna go with the flow, like the stream. Let's see what happens. Sometimes, we're like those salmon who have to spawn upstream and we're like fighting for our lives. Like we gotta get there.

And all the obstacles in between with the bears trying to get us, you're like, oh my gosh. It, it's, it's real. It it isn't real. Yeah. Okay. So I like to always ask the real questions. So what was your death conversation about? So it's interesting that there was two version, there's two things that I think in my life symbolize death.

So unfortunately for me, back in 2016, I lost my big brother unexpectedly, and that really started this whole journey of self-discovery, knowing myself what life actually meant, because this was someone that I saw a week before I went to Italy. And I had said goodbye. Gave him a hug. Very spiritual thing.

It was weird 'cause I felt like something was gonna happen. 'cause I was terrified of flying at that time. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is my big trip where I'm going overseas with my friend for two weeks. And I just remember giving my brother a hug and holding him really tight and saying, I love you.

And then a week later, getting that call on Saturday to say that he was in a coma and then coming home by Monday, he had already passed. My whole life turned upside down. It was literally like the rug was taken from my, from me, and that was the moment. Like I said, I had to face life, like there is this, the time runs out this clock.

It does, and I had to address what death meant for me seeing my mother go through losing her child, her first born, then stepping up and being the person that everyone leaned on. To take the responsibility of, okay, we gotta handle this. He had two daughters that he was leaving behind, how do I handle this and be strong and not cry?

So I had to work through that whole experience and going through the stages of death, and not only did I have to face my brother's death, but I had to face my own death of the version that I had become wasn't true. Or was it this person that I molded to satisfy everyone's expectation of me, the roles of society, what I thought I should be doing, or and so I had to face that death of personal awareness and personal growth and personal identity.

I. Ooh, that's really powerful too. If you can look back, I, there's always those sayings too, where it's you shouldn't look back, but you can only connect the dots Looking back, it's that Steve Jobs quote. But it's if you can look back, you can see how something so tragic actually propelled you forward, like leaps and bounds.

Yes. I don't regret that it happened. I had to really come to terms with that. I'm sad that it happened because he has family. He's left behind, including my mom and his daughters. But it made me appreciate life a lot more. It forced me to be present in my life. It forced me to confront myself and. Decide what I wanted my life to be because he had, it was so sudden sitting in in that funeral and watching everyone talk about him, the impact that he left behind that I didn't even know he did.

It was like that was powerful because it showed that we can be beyond, like we have these roles, we have jobs, we have bills that are just gonna happen. It's life. But the most important thing that we can do is leave something behind worth sharing. Worth remembering. And at that point I was like, okay, what am I leaving behind?

If I was to go tomorrow, who am I impacting? Am I leaving behind turmoil or pain or love and great memories that people can go? She changed my life and that's what really propelled me forward into how I moved in the world and being my authentic self because. I think up until that moment, I wa I one, it was in my twenties, so obviously we're still discovering ourselves, but I was forced to start making decisions on how I wanted my life to feel, to look and to experience.

So what do you think actually did change? If you could put a.in it, like you were doing this, but now you're doing this.

I'm making decisions now based on my own truth. I have a lot more clarity. Because, and I'm not seeking outside validation. I'm not, I did the route of going to college because my parents didn't get to go to college right after high school. So I was like, I'm gonna be the first one to trailblaze for the family.

Not that I regret it. 'cause I'm grateful because it helped everyone else in the family to do that. And I even, my cousin just went to college and he's you were the inspiration. And I'm like, thank you. Which I didn't know, but I had made decisions based on my family. And not based on what I wanted for my life.

I wanted to break the generational trauma and just the, the things that they couldn't do. So I went to college, did my nine to five, and then somewhere in between I found my true passion, which was acting, and it was just behind. It was like lingering in the background, but I was still, again, making decisions like, no, I gotta keep my nine to five job.

I gotta, this is what you do. You're retired a certain age and. I was just making the decisions on that. And so the thing that changed is I started making decisions based on my true self, what I wanted my life to be based in clarity, not seeking outside validation and finding joy in, I wouldn't say failures, but the mishaps in life.

'cause I don't believe in failures. 'cause everything is purposeful, not purposeless. Oh, I like that a lot. Okay, so then you shifted into acting, which let's pick, let's pick at that. I wanna know all the things I saw on your Instagram you were walking with, I think it's Ice Cube, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I was like Mr.

Ice. I wasn't sure how to say ice. Yeah. Yeah. It, wow. I. I never thought that I would be an actor. I'm gonna be very honest. Again, I think this whole death too allowed me to look to a future because I always had this fear behind in the back of my mind that I was gonna pass very young. Don't know where it came from, but it, it would just be there.

It was like a fearful thing. So I never really looked to a future. And while I was in college, I. Stumbled upon background work because background work was easy to do, was easy pay 'cause who doesn't need the money during college and I, I went to John Jay College of Criminal Justice, which all like intertwines and I did background work for Law and Order SVUI did background work for Blue Bloods and the Good Wife when it was on playing a college student and I fell in love.

I fell in love with acting. I was like, oh, I could actually do this. And I just loved everyone coming together to create this story and then seeing the finished product on tv oh, that's me in the background, or, I saw that take. The director was working with the actor and everyone. It was just beautiful.

It was like a, a symphony happening, right? The conductor, you can see everybody. It was just musical, and so I was like, I'm gonna do this. I've finally found something in my life that I know I'm meant to do. But I still did college, so I was doing it simultaneously when I was in college getting my degree in forensic psychology.

So I was going to the classes, learning everything about acting. Graduated college, still had my nine to five, but I was still hustling in the industry as an actor. And sure enough, I got my first commercial. For Good Morning America and then it just skyrocketed from there. I got started working and I booked so many commercials.

It took me to Chile and amazing. Okay. What was your first commercial? So it was Good Morning America. It was their promo and it was like, I love this and it is like IGMA love this and it is literally, that was it. It was like I did a little cute. Millennial thing here. Really? The heart's this way. And that was my first commercial.

It was so fun and I was like, yeah, this is it. This is what I wanna do for the rest of my life. And then I just started booking from there. I did a feature film where I was a lead called the, what film were you in? It was called The Rest of Us. And I had the great opportunity of working with Mary Mary Stewart Masterson and NYU, and, and talking about mental health, which ended up leading into like life coaching and didn't know I even, it was just again, life is purposeful, not purposeless.

And it was just a great experience talking about mental illness and, that big s word. And, it was such a beautiful story. I wish it would've have been shared a lot more. And then after that it, it, it just, I booked TV on HBO high maintenance, and recently I did FBI and I booked a pilot. So I, I am really grateful for this acting career and I love it and I love the aspect of storytelling 'cause it's something that, as a kid.

I like fantasized about and escaped. It was my form of escapism. Oh. I think a lot of us as kids have that fantasy of, making up stories and like doing different things. So I work in social media marketing, like all we do is create content all day for brands and businesses and but it's funny 'cause when I was a kid I would watch commercials on TV and I told my mom they should have a commercial committee and like some things shouldn't be allowed.

So I used to like obsess in my head over like how people could talk about their stuff, but obviously social media didn't exist then. I was born in 85 yeah. But it's funny how like sometimes I'll have these aha moments, where you're like, I thought about that a lot as a kid, and now that's like basically the adult translation of it.

Yeah, we tend, and through my coaching and just life and experience, we have to commemorate and like tap into our younger selves and like a child within, because they knew exactly what we wanted to do, what excited us, what we were here for, and there was no sense of hesitation as a kid, like you would just do it.

And you wouldn't question if you would get judged. And I think we need to bring that back as adults and like tap into having that joy of trying something. And even if you fail, so what, you can always get back up. That's that resilience and resistance within you. But I love that, like you said, that and as a kid you just, you loved commercials and now you're doing it as an adult in a different way though, and more creative and it's fun.

Yeah, it is actually a lot of fun when you get to work with fun people, which I'm sure we know there, there are some people who are, not too much. Yeah. And you just gotta set some B solid, solid boundaries. And that's when the Bronx comes out and it's it's gotta be, you gotta say what your full chest, but just also be polite and stand your ground because otherwise I've had way too many people, try to take advantage of you.

I've had that. So often and when you know your voice, it's harder for people to take advantage of you much harder. It is because you don't even really go there. Like your energy doesn't go there. You're like, oh, no thanks, and you're just like, over here having lunch, you know you have nothing. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

You, you don't get involved. You just choose you just actively remove yourself from that situation, which I think is so cool. And I, like I tell everyone, find that inner voice. Find who you are because when you do, life becomes so much more worth living and experiencing, and you don't hesitate as much anymore because you're doing the things you actually wanna do.

Like you're do, even if it's something brand new, you're still doing something that is serving your soul, your life in some unique way that will come up years later and you have this conversation with someone. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so we just did a big commercial shoot and they, the team had come from New York and it was for a brand from Italy and it was like intense, a lot of it is really boring.

Do you find that as an actress you're just like. Everyone's it's so exciting, right? And you're like, I'm really bored and I've been up since 4:00 AM. It's the hurry up and wait. Huh. Being on set, I've gotten on set at four o'clock in the morning. You're doing your hair, you do your makeup, you eat some breakfast, and then you're sitting down and waiting for two hours for lighting, for setup, and you're like, okay, great.

And it's like, all right, I'm excited. And then about time, you may taken dozed off. You may have taken a nap, I mean chatting, and then you're like, oh, I'm on. Oh, you're ready. Okay, great. And then it lasts maybe 30 minutes, depending on the scene. Then you're on break again because they have to change. Yeah, I, it, I don't necessarily think it's boring because in those down times now I am doing other things like, coaching or doing some social media stuff or journaling or finding creative ways to connect with the crew even being on set, like if I'm not filming, let me see what's happening over there. I'm being a little nosy, like what can I learn from someone else? So I don't necessarily think it's boring, but it does slow down the time. It's just not as glamorous as everyone thinks it. No, it's not. I tell everyone that I'm like, being an actor, I, you see all the glitz and glam and the red carpets and, but you don't realize as an actor, the amount of work and preparation that we put behind the scenes, the expectations from us.

Yeah, you get a role, but you're prepping months in advance, weeks in advance. Then you're on set for long hours and you have to perform back to back, maybe weeks, months, and consecutively. Then it goes well. Then you've got premieres, you've got interviews to do, you've got press tours, you've got all these things like that sounds fun, but it's exhausting when you're having to do about six interviews a day back to back, and you're just snacking on something in between.

I love that stuff. I personally, I'm not complaining. I love that stuff. But for someone who doesn't have the, the stamina of that, it can be tiring. It can be all very tiring and very performative. And, and so I understand and I tell people, I'm like, just find your path through it. Understand that this is also a business as an actor, and I see that as a business, and I think that comes from working in the corporate world.

Like I understand that corporate ex mindset. So I, I know I'm a brand, but I also know this is a business. And at the end of the day, you have people that you report to. It's just when you understand it's a business, it becomes easier and you can take a little bit of the emotion out of it. Oh, definitely.

But it's that, hurry up and wait. You nailed it. But like in our downtime, we were actually live editing, so I'm like, Hey, we can pump out this content while we sit here. And they were like, oh my gosh, did you guys already post those reels? And I was like, yeah. 'cause we've got all this dead space, yeah. Being proactive, finding a way to be proactive. Yeah. And then when you leave, you get to have your time like, you're not gonna do this, I gotta do that. Oh, you can go home and rest. And then we, we were smart too. I love this. I'm taking notes from you. Okay. And I think everyone listening, you guys take notes.

You can always learn stuff from other people too when you're having some sort of life experience. So I set us up, like across from the photographer. He is a super famous photographer, and I was like, we're just gonna sit in this area and work. Is that okay? And he was like, yeah, totally. So we were like watching, working, watching, working, and that was cool too. Yeah, like you decided to make the best of that situation. And I think what we tend to forget is how much we are in control of our lives and like how much time we actually have. If you were to like take down how much time you actually work or do things or are busy outside of sleep, you probably have eight extra hours throughout the day that you don't realize you do.

And you can be as extremely productive and then have the rest of your day do your own thing. But I love that you. You, I'm just gonna sit here and watch I, I'm always here for that. Speak up, do what you got, take like autonomy on what you need to do to be your most effective self.

Like your best is not always gonna be the best, but if you thrive, I mean strive to do that, it's always gonna work out 'cause you don't feel guilty or bad or shameful like I could have did this. You did your best and sometimes your best is not always gonna look like it did yesterday or today because it si circumstances are different and that's okay.

It's absolutely okay. Oh my gosh. Yeah. The guilt and shame cycle. I think it's so real. So real. And I will still catch myself going into the guilt and shame cycle where I'm like last week you were able to do X, Y, and Z during blah, blah, blah. Whatever story I've made up. And I'm like, and now you're staring at the wall.

And I'm like, I'm tired. Yeah. I like to call that the inner bully. I know people call it the inner critic. The inner voice. I call it the inner bully. The inner bully. That's literally like. Causing you to feel bad about yourself or the inner belief system that has developed from years from that one person that told you, oh, you weren't gonna make it.

Or the, and then it seeps in and now has become your inner voice when it's actually not yours. Yeah. I call it the inner bully. And I, I'm, I have conversations with my inner bully. I'm like, have a seat. Take a back seat. 'cause I'm in control of this right now. My friends make fun of me 'cause I'm always talking to myself.

But I find it helpful because. If I don't get it out of my mind, then it stays there and it ruminates, right? It takes up as they call, like real estate, and it just starts consuming you. So I'm constantly talking to myself and my friends catch me and Amanda, are you talking to? I'm like, oh, I, I didn't know I was actually saying anything out loud, but okay, because it is so normal for me now.

But when I do, I have way much I have much more clarity in what I wanna do, what direction I wanna go, and I take that from my dad because. I remember one specific time I was struggling with a paper and my dad tapped me down and he's okay, let's talk it out. I'm like, I, I'm just so confused. I don't know where I'm not getting this.

I don't know what's next. He said, let's just talk it out. Have a seat. Let's just, let's talk it out. I'm like, okay. And I talked through it and he was like, and as I finished, he goes, you just answered your own question. You already had the answer, you just had to sit down and say it out loud or calm down, and I was like, oh.

So I've just been doing that all my life and it has helped me so much instead of constantly having thoughts, running, running, running in my head and becoming so blocked. It. Blocked, it is blocking the answers. But yeah, the, I just remember that moment with my dad. Definitely impactful. I love that.

Do you you're also an entrepreneur. You have your own podcast, you have your own courses, like all those things as well as being an actress. But do you work at home? I do. I do work at home. I love being in the office. I actually miss being in the office. I really do. But I also work with events and I do events like SAG after Foundation.

So I'm out and about doing events and managing Q and as that they have. But yeah, most of the time I work at home and when I have one-on-one coaching. I, I zoom with my clients or FaceTime, whatever's best for them. And I find that it's helpful when you, when I'm in a space of calm for them because I'm so present with them versus being in a, in a coffee shop or something, or in a office personally for me.

But I also have the flexibility to do it because I work with clients that are on different SI time zones. Yeah, so I have gotten to where like I cannot work at home. Like it's bad for my mental health. Mm. I have to be around people because I need to talk things out. So I need to be able to talk to some of my team at least, they're not all here in person, but some of them are.

So I need to be able to talk to them. But then it's like when we were first, before we started recording. I, I was like, oh my God, am I recording? That's like your podcast first nightmare. It has happened and oh my god. Fear. I just, I just, you traumatize me for a moment because it's happened. We record a lot of our podcasts in person and when we do, like my podcast managers there, it to watch the button 'cause it's like my biggest fear.

I'm all, is it still recording? But yeah, before we start recording. Some people came by that knew me and they were trying to say hi, and I was like, I'm on a call. I'm doing things. So that's the one downside. But what I love about it is I'm just so much like I'm not living in my head like I was.

I've got people I can talk to. I can walk upstairs, I can get I work in a really cool coworking space, but I do have my own private office, but like they do snack hour. I can walk up and get snacks like several times a day. I can be about and I love it. It's changed.

It's changed my life. Yeah. I love that for you. That's awesome. Like I. Working what I do miss being in the office. I used to work for Viacom and I made such like long term friends, like friends that I still have to this day that I was his best man, but I was his best woman. And we, we, we went to Italy together, but I loved like having lunch and going out to lunch together, bouncing off ideas.

Just having someone, like you said, just get up and, Hey, how you doing? What's. I just wanted to talk like I, I, I do miss that, which is why I constantly make it a priority to network with friends. I'm going out and about all the time, I do social media like marketing for other people as well. And so I was just on a shoot yesterday with my friend and we were filming product.

So that's fun. So even though I get to work from home, I still am very proactive with need seeing people. 'cause I do. We need people. We, as much as we don't admit that we need some human interaction, especially after 2020 and everything that's happening right now, we need to be surrounded by good people, passionate people, and I, I strive to be that also for other people as well, because this world can feel so chaotic and, yeah.

Yeah, I had a different office like before I moved over here, but I was really, I'm like, I'm just alone over there. Like the students, so many things. So it's, it's nice to have people to talk to and not just, and talk it out. That was my whole point. It's I agree with your talking it out.

Yeah, talking it out is, it's good, it's healthy, it's it's healthy. You find your voice and you're a lot more confident about speaking up as well. When you talk it out. I've learned, and that was part of my journey too, is finding my voice and then speaking up with that voice, not the voice that I needed to be or should be, but the voice that was in me that said, no, this is how I feel.

I'm gonna say it with my full chest. You may not understand. That's okay. That's totally fine. But I have to speak it because if I don't, then I'm not being authentic to myself and don't know where I stand, whatever that may be. Whether it's in a corporate environment, onset, with friends and family.

That's the only way you can build real relationships with people is learning how to articulate. Articulate that. Yeah, I, I love that. Say with your whole chest too. That's beautiful. Thanks. All right, so you have your own podcast. Do you wanna tell me about that? Yes, yes. So I am so lucky. I have a podcast called Mindset Artistry Podcast with a good friend of mine Janelle Klowski.

And we created this out of the need of COVID really happened. It came out of CO. All our friends were in a group chat and we were just messaging, messaging each other through a voice message every day. Hey, how's it going? What are you doing? And two minute, three minute, like voice messages and just like being there for each other.

And then my friend was like, yeah, I think you should look into life coaching. And I was like, I don't, I've heard of it. Don't know. She's no, but you are the person for everybody. Everybody goes to you. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Which ties in now to the fact that I did forensic psychology and how I love why people do what they do, and I'm always curious, and again, also acting like I'm very human curious and I'm always curious about why people do what they do, how their past.

Affects their future, the way they think, the way they move. And I got certified at the end of 2021 and we just started. Recording. We started going live on Instagram. We'd be like, let's just start talking. 'cause she got certified as well. We're like, let's just start talking about things that happen in real life like we were doing as friends.

And so we started that conversation. We would talk about from depression, anxiety to the industry. And then I was like, I think this is pretty good. We should do something with this. I said, we should make this a podcast and just start. Recording it and posting it. And so it came out of that like honesty and sharing our story.

'cause she's also in the industry and she models and acts and, and I do the same. And it was just a space for us to feel safe, to create a safe space for others as well. To be able to talk about whatever mental health that they were going through, anything in their life. The uncertainty, especially.

Being an actor, we deal and confront with a lot with rejection. Rejection is like a part of our job about 99% of the time. And how do you manage that? How do you continue to live your life? How do you hone your own skills and all the things that came in between that I learned that she learned. We want to share that.

I feel that what I learn, I don't want other people to go through that. Trouble. That challenge. If I can teach you to get a little bit further than I am, then I'm doing my job. Like it's worth it. So it came out of that need and we were, we've been doing it ever since and we now have guests on, we talked to industry people.

We've had tar tattoo artists on, we've had book authors on, we've had so many like singers and rappers on the podcast, and I think. The through line is that we are all creative. No matter what you do, you have this creative juice, this creative blood within you that needs to be shared and you need to share it.

And there's always some common thread, whether you're a tattoo artist, a corporate. Leader who we had like a closet specialist. Come on. She talked about her journey. All of that's relevant to our, our journey and we can learn something. Like you said, there's always something to learn and we should always be open to learning from other people.

It makes us better. We can pass it, pass it on, share it. So I, I love it. I think it's a, one of the, my passion projects and I, I continue to do it. And with that, now we're doing online courses from IT and workshops, and it's been so impactful, not only from my friend and I, but for the people that have gotten involved with it, grateful.

I love that. Do you find that like you guys are able to like, sit down and just talk from your heart and then don't you love it when people message you and they're like, I needed to hear that today. It's like the best. Yes. Okay. So I'm a crier. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad, I cry angry and I've cried so many times on this podcast and just, I find it.

Safe again. Like I, I just find it so safe that I can share that and not judge myself. Like I've taken out the judgment. I don't judge myself anymore for sharing my story because there is someone out there who needed to hear it, and that's why I do it. It's not just for me. So I love that you said that.

Like it, I'm so grateful that I, I, sometimes I just share things and I'm like, I don't know if anyone's gonna this for sure. And then I'll get a message like that was, I need to hear that today. I'm like, oh. All right, great. I'm glad. 'cause I also need to hear it too. Like I need to hear it so I'm telling you because I need to hear it as well.

But I find it so like it, it warms my heart. It warms my heart truly, that there are people out there that can relate to my story. And I tell everybody your story matters, so please tell it. 'cause there is someone out there who needs to hear it. Don't hesitate, don't worry about it. Who cares if it's not perfect?

No one is. I know I started sharing like my alcohol story, like well after I got sober. So I was like, okay, I'm in a good spot. But I was so mortified to start talking about it. I was like, this is where my business lights on fire and no one's gonna wanna work with me. And it's been the total opposite.

Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations for sharing that story. That's really brave of you. I know they say, oh, it's brave, but No, it is. And I'm, I'm proud of you for doing that. That's incredible. Oh, I think, I feel, I feel like it is, 'cause now I'm walking around with this like sign because everybody knows one time someone was like, oh, maybe if you shared it.

And I was like, every single person knows I don't drink every single person in my life, I can't avoid it at this point. They all know. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it's been like interesting, but also the best thing I've ever done for myself. How have you found it impact like your community? Yeah, so I would say like outside of like my immediate family.

'cause it had a huge impact. Like just on my family life at home, I'm married, I have two kids my kids are older too, so it had a big impact and then, it had an impact with that little, the immediate family circle outside of it as well. And it still is. But I would say community wise it's been pretty cool.

I'll have people message me that are like, Hey, I watch you on TikTok and I know, I know you live here. Can I go to AA with you? Mm-hmm. And I'm like, yeah, totally. So I'm like, come on down. I'll meet you there. Or just even sometimes I'll get the funny comments from friends who are like, I was gonna drink last night and I thought, what would Samantha Parker do?

And I was like, oh my God. And they're like, it just helps you kind of like regulate, yeah. They're like, drink. She would be up early running a 5K and I'm gonna do that. I'm like, oh, that's awesome. That's great. I love that for you. That's so inspiring. I, yeah, that's, it's a real challenge. I had someone in my family who passed away from alcoholism, so I, I definitely commend you for, for sharing that story and also, not surviving, but living through it and, and continuing to be strong through it as well. 'cause Yeah, I've, I've seen it. Yeah. I'm sorry you went through that. That's, it's not fun. But I also, I have to say like I've had a lot of rocks thrown at me as well, so it's like just choosing to keep showing up even when the rocks are being thrown.

And I guarantee you have that experience too, even as an actress. Oh gosh, so many rocks. Like I'm about to cry right now because it's just like all these, it is just, life can feel limited and like a lot, because we're, we're managing not only our story, but other people around us, our family, our friends, and it can sometimes feel like we're not in control.

Bless you. Yes, bless him. It's a good sign releasing. But yeah, I, it's, it was never easy and unfortunately there was nothing that either of our family could do to, to help him, to save him because, it's just, sometimes it's a personal choice, but it, it was hard. And to see him deteriorate right in front of my eyes and pass away was heartbreaking.

And because of that, now I make conscious decisions of, like you said, like your friend what would Samantha Parker do? I'm like, okay, what would he, what should I not do? Or what are the, the healthier choices, right? Mm-hmm. When I'm feeling sad, sad or down, let me not jump to having a glass of wine.

Let me just do something proactive in my body to release it, systematically and, and meditate or whatever it may be. Work out so that it doesn't. Consume me and become all consuming, yeah. And I know that I switch, a lot of my negative things for positive things, but because I will hyper fixate, like I've got a great addict personality I'm like, I will go down with this ship.

But it's a good thing. Sometimes it is. That's a really a bad thing. So I can ate on things that will bring joy and like positivity to my life. And yeah, so if you can switch it and you're like, okay, I know this isn't a good thing and everyone has advice, I don't, it doesn't matter if it's alcohol or not.

Everyone has a advice. And if you can almost just take that energy. 'cause I don't think you'll ever eliminate it, and if you can just take it and redirect it. Like maybe you wanna hyper fixate on cross stitch. I don't know. There's so many. Particularly, I don't know, maybe it's trying every grilled cheese in town, I don't know what it is, but put your energy somewhere else. Yeah, I agree. Like we, every energy is everything too. But what was I gonna say? It was in the tip of my tongue. So we have the ability just to switch our mind. There's certain things, oh, there it is. I got it. I got it.

I found throughout my life that the thing that either I hated the most about myself or I disliked about myself, or was the most challenging aspect of my life, was the thing that was my superpower. And that's your superpower. Even though you know it, it didn't. Come from many good memories and all those things, but you have a superpower now where you can help others and inspire others to, choose different, heal, learn how to manage it or balance it, whatever it may be.

But for me. I struggled a lot with self-identity and just, I hated my voice. I hated everything about me growing up. I was lightly bullied and just felt very awkward and insecure, and when I discovered my whole self throughout my life, that's been my superpower. I show up as me every single day, and I find that my life is way more joyful.

I'm attracting people who. Inspired to do something with their lives. And it just, it, it mean it makes life more meaningful. And so I always say the thing that I hated the most is my superpower. Now I feel super like powerful with that, I. Do you feel like every day you have to wake up and make a conscious, ever effort to choose that?

I do. Yes. Every single day I make it. My morning is like my morning ritual. I have to, I try not to pick up my phone. I try not to think about the expectations of a day meetings or what I need to do, bills, all those things. Acting. It doesn't matter because. I've learned that if I start my day with picking up my phone or thinking about what I wanna do, it already presets how I'm gonna interact with my life throughout the day.

And so I'm automatically gonna either go into the negative aspect, the judgment aspect, the worry, whatever it may be. So I make it a priority every single day to make time for myself. Checking with myself, what do I need today? Truly how am I feeling and, and, and setting an intention for the day. So I do it every day.

I say affirmations, which is why I've made it a priority to create self-love course because. I did not lo know what love was, and I'm talking about self-love. Like I struggled with that throughout my life and this whole journey because I've seen my parents divorce and when they divorced, I didn't believe in love.

I was like, oh, love is temporary. Love is never forever. Love doesn't last long, and I didn't know that that would became my adult. Mindset, my adult belief system. So I was always distanced with love, and so now I make it a priority. Now that I've found my love, I know what love is. I, I just, I love, love truly, and I love myself.

Like I teach unconditional love for yourself and serving yourself in that. And throughout my life, I was called selfish for doing that, but now it's like honorable. But I find that every day I have to nurture that. If you were an athlete, what do you do? You work out every day or you exercise, you stretch a yoga swimmer.

Any scientist, they'll tell you they're practicing every day. So that's my practice, that's my physical practice, my mental practice, and my whole full body and, and mindset. So yeah, I have to do it every day. Otherwise I feel a little robotic. I was at the gym this morning and I was watching your video where you were talking about your parents' divorce.

Fun. Huh? Fun. I'm like, that's, I was at the gym and I was like, I gotta research my podcast guest today. And I was like watching all your videos. Real, real good, fun conversation to have while you're on the treadmill yeah. Divorce. I, I took a lot from it. I was like, oh, good. She's saying, yeah.

And speaking about sharing your story, I was afraid to share that story too, because that was something that I held so close to me and only like immediate family and friends know that story. And I didn't even know the impact of that story until I started. Exploring it and how it impacted my life as an adult and my relationships and even with my parents, that relationship that I developed with them as I got older and, and I have more to that story and I will be sharing, that's one of my series that I'm gonna be continuing to share through that journey and how it led up to like my self love course and it, it.

I love my parents, but they're better off apart. Like they're much happier. I'm grateful that they're actually not together anymore. I say it all the time, they're cool with each other, but you just realize cer, there's a time, there's a limit to certain relationships and love and we grow out of people and things, and that's okay.

I've learned to accept that. And when you nurture that love within, it's easier for you to let that go. It's not gonna be, it's gonna take its time, but eventually you know that you will overcome it in some way somehow and learn from that situation. So I, yeah, that whole divorce story, I did not know how much it impacted me and how I moved the relationships with partners and even myself and even friends.

So it was something that. I am glad I'm sharing now, and I didn't, it was scary, but I was like, I have to tell it because I, I healed from it already. I've healed from it, so now I'm able to share it. Yeah. I think about stuff like that too. I'm like, I don't ever talk about that anymore. Like just little thoughts will pop in, or I'm like, I wonder why that doesn't even bother me anymore.

And I'm like, oh, 'cause you. Shared it, you healed through it. I'm a big believer in healing out loud. I don't know why we all think we have to hide when things are wrong. I, I'm not saying that I'm showing up and like just spewing all my stuff for the internet, but if a friend comes into contact with me and they're like, how are you?

And I'm like, shitty. Thanks. Yeah. I'm like, here's what's going on in my life. Instead of just the highlight reel all the time. I'm a big believer in Hey, let's just be real and let's be honest, and it helps us move through things. I, I, I love that, that you do that, and thank you for the realness.

We need it more, I think especially with, social media and this performative, everyone's showing the highlight reels, right? Everyone's showing the best moments in their life, but then no one's showing the in between moments where you feel lonely and you're crying and you're depressed and you're not eating, and all the things in between arguments and how life doesn't have.

Meaning anymore. We need to share that because we're not alone in this world. And that's the reason why you, myself, why we have a voice is 'cause we're meant to share it because there are people out there who don't know how to, and we can encourage them to, and that's, that's also what I think about.

Whenever I'm like, oh, I can't share, this is so weird. This is awkward. Like I, it doesn't mean anything to me anymore, but there is gonna be meaningful to someone else. And I got so many wonderful comments after I shared that divorce story. I was like, oh, I didn't know that about you. I'm like, yeah, 'cause it's not something I shared 'cause I've healed from it and it happened so long ago.

But it is now I'm able to share it because I know my voice and I know where I stand with it. And sometimes even if you don't still share it anyway, 'cause there might be someone out there who may have some insight for you too. Don't be afraid to share and, and wait to heal. Sometimes we need to share it when we're not heal, like you said.

I'm not having, I'm having a shitty day. Great. You're having a shitty day. Okay, it's done. It's out there, right? Like I'm having a shitty day. Great. Now you can move on from that versus holding on, having a shitty day. Oh gosh, I gotta talk to this person. I gotta do this. It's like you, you hold that in.

So I'm a big believer in I call it the purge, like purging out all those things. Yes. Okay. We're purging, we're healing out loud. We're doing all the things. Yes. Okay. So you you have yourself, of course, you have your podcast. Where can people find you and all that good information? Oh yeah. Find me with my name.

I have amanda dubo.com for my coaching. It's, she's a life coach, but everything's on my main Instagram. Anything on my website you can always find in links to the other. Courses I'm doing promos for my self love course 'cause of the holidays. So by all means, email me. I have some special codes and I'll share that with you as well that you can put it in for when the episode airs.

But yeah, I'm available if you ever, I've had random people come up to me or email me like, I'm really need to talk it out. And I am like, yeah, let's do it. Talk it out. That's great. That's what I'm here for. Because I, I didn't have that. So I wanna provide that for people as well to feel, have a safe space to purge, to vent.

I need to just talk this out. Great. That's what I'm here for. No judgment. I have a judgment free zone. It's a safe zone. You can say whatever you want from the bottom of your heart to the deepest depths of your soul. You are like, spill it. Spill it. Yes, spill it. So I can tell No, no, I, yeah. I've always been that, that, that confidant for people.

And I, and I am glad I can because I respect it and I don't judge, like we all have our own stories. Like what do, as higher power, you're not like let people live. They're just doing the best that they can with what they have in that moment. Yeah, that's actually why I love working the steps. It changed my life.

'cause I spent like thousands, like on Tony Robbins. Mm-hmm. I done Deepak Chopra, I went to his like long thing, life coaches, all that stuff. And I'm like, I think sometimes we just gotta get it out and, part of the steps one of the steps is like you just, share it, share it with another human being and then you just give it to God and you let it go.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I like purging, right? I got to call purging or give it, just give it a voice too, because if you don't give it a voice, I like to call it like the, the, the, the kinex commercial with the monster I like to call it that's our inner voice, our inner bully that's in the background looking all googly and gobbly and that is the, the stuff that we don't want to address.

That's what it looks like in my opinion. I try to put something to it and then I say it out loud, because if we don't, like I said, it's all consuming and we have to share it, but that's where we start. What do we have? The first thing we do is when we are born and we learn. We learn the steps, learn how to walk, we learn how to speak, we learn how to hear.

Those are our senses. So use them to heal. Use them to express, use them to release. So I love that. And not everything works for everybody. So take it with a grain of salt. Everything I said, take what you take what works. Throw away. What does it, I don't care. It's you. You gotta live your life. Take what works for you.

'cause there's so many, I've done all the courses, I've talked to many people and I'm like, yeah, that I relate to that. Great. And there's things that I don't, or later on in my life I'm like, oh, now I get it. Epiphany moment. So be open. Be open to it, but also take what works and take what doesn't like and, and dis let go of what doesn't.

Well said. Okay, Amanda, we'll have you linked up in our show notes and thanks for your time today. Are you in LA or are you in New York? Where are you at? I'm in LA right now, but I'm back and forth between LA and New York and wherever the work comes, I will go. Okay, awesome. Thank you so much for spending time with me today on the Samantha Parker Show.

Alright. Thank you for having me.