First-Gen Pressure, Culture Clashes & Becoming Who You Really Are

Navigating Cultural Identity and Personal Growth as a Mexican-American

On this episode of the Samantha Parker Show, Samantha welcomes Melissa, host of the 'HermanasMedia' podcast. They discuss Melissa's journey as a first-generation Mexican-American, touching on cultural identity, personal growth, and the struggles of immigrant families. Melissa shares her inspiration behind starting her podcast, her experiences with overcoming societal and familial expectations, and the importance of storytelling from marginalized communities. Together, they explore themes of resilience, self-awareness, and the balance between honoring cultural heritage and personal aspirations. The discussion also highlights the significance of supportive relationships and the need for accepting one's multi-faceted identity.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:15 The Truth Behind the Headlines

00:16 Podcasting on the Patio

01:05 Melissa's Podcast Journey

01:57 Cultural Reflections and Personal Growth

02:57 Navigating Life as a First-Generation Immigrant

06:26 Overcoming Challenges and Finding Purpose

12:28 Empathy and Understanding Across Cultures

22:57 Launching a Storytelling Platform

24:26 Podcast Hiatus and Revival

24:52 The Importance of Purpose and Passion

25:17 Manifesting Ideas and Supper Club

31:44 Navigating Misogyny in Business

36:37 Career Transitions and Future Plans

39:38 Podcasting and Personal Branding

Melissa Insta: https://www.instagram.com/meli_macho?igsh=Ymllb2MxOG5tZ3lj

Hermanasmedia: https://www.instagram.com/hermanasmedia?igsh=amN0cmp0bnkzbHR3

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Transcript

Welcome to the Samantha Parker Show. Today we are podcasting from the patio with my guest, Melissa. Hey girl. Welcome to the show. Hello. Thank you for having me. Okay. This is fun. Yeah, this is gorgeous. The kiln. Yeah. Kiln is awesome and right now they have some event going on, so I feel like all the rooms I like to use are taken and we were brainstorming.

This was my team's idea. They're like, what if we podcasted on the patio? And I'm like it'll be loud. And then I was like, I don't care. Yeah. It's real. Yeah. So if you guys hear cars going by. They're like over their ways, but yeah. It might be you driving by it. That could be you. Okay. So I wanted to bite you on my podcast 'cause you have your own podcast and we, we had a really good lunch date the other day.

Yeah, we did. We went to spits. Mm-hmm. I feel like you have to really say it. I'm all spits, spits. We didn't spit on each other. We went to spits. I know it took me a minute, but there it's a Greek place. Yeah. And so it's it rotates on the spit, to cook. Mm-hmm. The meat, someone had to explain it to me, so Makes sense now.

I would've never thought of that either. Yeah. And it's delicious. But tell me about your podcast. It's a baby podcast and that's why it's not a baby podcast, but in, in the Best in a Baby podcast. It's just a little, it's a growing, she's a, 200 followers I think, which I love each and every one of them.

And it grew really fast, which I'm very grateful for. I'm currently on a hiatus. That's why I called you because I said, Samantha, you said you were gonna pick it back up. Did you pick it back up? Yes, I'm editing. Okay. I have three episodes coming, but yeah, for a second it was, it was a little overwhelming, but it's, it's called aas.

Aas Media on Instagram, if you guys wanna check it out. I love it. Okay. So what was your inspiration behind it? And Heras is sisters. Ed means sisters. Yeah. So it's. It is female-centric, but really involves everyone. I think the idea came from really me wanting to evolve. I think I was feeling a little bit helpless with a lot of the narrative that was happening around my culture and my community and, I just, sometimes when you get angry or upset, you can be very narrow-minded. And so I had to come back to myself and say, okay, what can I actually change? What is actually something that can, that I can do to better the situation for, for my community to know how do you say, how to defend themselves in a way.

Okay. And oh, I just had deja vu. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Was it someone, I think they were thinking about coming out here and then they were like, I don't think I should come out here. Oh my gosh. No. Did you see that? That was scary. They're like, I dunno what these girls are doing. We've done this before.

Yeah. No, but anyway, so because I, I wanted to help my community in a way that's, that also helps me. Erez was born in a way. We have to learn as a first generation of Mexican. Yeah. So let's back up here. So you're community? Yes. So you are Latina? I am Mexican, yes. Latina. Yes. I I'm first generation Mexican American, so that means that my parents grew up in Mexico and they honestly lived a lot of their early adulthood.

In Mexico. And so I'm the first one to be born here, the first one to live the American Dream or the American life. And so there was a lot that I had to learn at the mercy of others. Okay, so my, my parents did the best that they could. They, they're in survival mode when you're here.

'cause they've left their own culture. They've, they're going through their own things and they come here to work. And so if you're a kid of, of immigrants, then you, you have to figure it out on your own. You really have to rely on teachers, people in the community that are willing to teach you about the basics of things like scholarships and extracurricular activities even weren't a thing because.

It just wasn't in the budget. It wasn't something we can do anyway, so that a lot of us first generation people become really scrappy and it benefits us in a lot of ways because we can take those skill sets and that adaptability into the workforce, but it takes a lot longer for you to go inward and find yourself.

Yeah, and so I wanted a space where we could have conversations about. Growth and development in a safe and happy environment for everyone. Yeah. So your parents paved the way they came here? Yes. They sacrificed a lot. And then they're set settled here. Yes. Yeah. I was like, they're here, they're they've been here 30 years, but then it's like they've done that really hard work of establishing themselves.

Mm-hmm. So then you as like the first generation born here, get to be like what do I want with my life? Yeah. And it's hard to get there though, because for a long time you're just, you're. You obviously learn from your parents, right? That you're, you have to come and you have to work and you have to do your, the best that you can, and you have to survive, but you also grapple with the privilege of not having to work the same way that they did.

Okay? And the sacrifices that we, they did, we don't necessarily have to make. And so for a long time, like I completely sacrificed myself for my, for the companies that I worked with. I worked so much. I sacrificed my personal beliefs, my personal goals for the goals of the business because that's what my parents did for a long time.

You like, we just threw it, we put our heads down and we work, we put our heads down and we work. And, and then also you just believe what. You're told, right? Religion and society and the culture even is very different. You just kind of like follow that, and so you never even look at yourself and say, okay, what do I really believe?

Who am I really? Yeah. Until you're. 28 years old and your life gets turned upside down like me. Everyone's story is different, but for me it was, I was 28 and I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, who are you? What are you trying to do here? Don't worry, I'm 40 and I did that this morning. Did you?

So like I grapple with it. I think we should have multiple, right? We should have. Almost like ego deaths or multiple ideas of who you are. You, you evolve as a person. Yeah. And I think that that first one for me was just like a big ball of energy, a big ball of I don't know, things that could have been avoided if I would've looked at myself sooner.

Does that make sense? Oh, absolutely. And I think that's great advice for anyone. Yeah. And I think you should do that a lot. Like you might get into a commitment and you're just asking yourself, why am I actually doing this? Mm-hmm. What's the actual purpose of all of this? Yeah, I do that a lot.

I'm like, is the path we're going down the right path for the business is the path, as a family, are we making good choices? Like I just think we need to be self-aware. Yeah, self-aware. And, and if you're in survival mode, that's the last thing you're doing. Yes. It took me a, a long time, so obviously like I was born here, my parents were born here, so I, I don't have, the same kind of struggles that you had, but it definitely, it took me a long time because it.

19, I had a baby. Yeah. With a douche bag. It seriously, it can be applied to any sort of trauma. Yeah. And I was on my own, mm-hmm. I had this little apartment in Salt Lake City. I would have $50 for two weeks. I remember going to the grocery store and just kinda adding things up. Like we can get yogurt and we can get some pancake mix and we'll just figure it out.

Mm-hmm. I've told this story a few times, I would be like, okay, my daughter will eat at daycare, so we just have to do breakfast and dinner. And I was like, we can actually have pancakes for breakfast and dinner. Mm-hmm. So there was a lot. Went on. When you're in that mentality, the last thing you can think of or that you even have room for is creativity is going inward, is spirituality.

No, I couldn't think bigger. No, you cannot. You can't. It's because you're surviving that poverty cycle that you get stuck in. Mm-hmm. And it was really, really hard to get out of that. Even, when we moved to St. George, we were still in that mindset. Yeah. And I would be like, oh, we should go to Disneyland.

And my husband would say, oh, and we had have money when we was like, no, I was just saying. We should go to, I wasn't saying let's book this right now. And so we've built a lot of that work. What do you think? Sorry. If that's okay if I ask questions. Oh yeah. What do you think? She's I'm gonna flip this, I'm gonna flip this is on Samantha.

What do you think really pushed you to do the work on yourself to, to get yourself out of that mentality? Kinda just, gosh, I think looking around a big, big motivator for me was I had a job. I was working here in St. George and I was finishing college, so working full-time, 32 kids, I was married, so that was helpful.

Yeah. But just barely getting by and my boss one day looked at me and she goes, I don't know why you work so hard and go to school, you'll never make more than $13 an hour. And Wow. I don't know if maybe, maybe that was planted in her 'cause I don't believe that she's like evil or anything.

Sure. But. It was something just snapped to me. I came in the next day actually, so that was a Monday. I came in on my day off on Tuesday, 'cause I had Tuesdays and Sundays off. It was horrible. Yeah. And I was like, Hey, I need to quit. Okay. And I didn't know what I was gonna do, but something just like unraveled, you knew.

You knew in your gut. Mm-hmm. Sometimes it's sad that sometimes it takes somebody not believing in yourself to really look at yourself and say, oh wow, I don't, I haven't been believing in myself either. Mm-hmm. And it's horrible. And it's awful. I have a similar situation too, and it's just, but it was the kick in the butt that I needed to just remind myself like, okay, if I can work this hard for somebody else.

Why can't I work this hard on myself? Yes. Imagine the however many hours you're working if that was focused on you and yeah. I remember her telling me like, you're my workhorse. I don't know what we're gonna do. I was like, oh. But I was really proud. My parents were like, work hard, work hard.

Go to work. Instilled that upon you, shut up. Don't ask any questions. I do think, okay, but do you have kids? No kids. No kids. I was gonna say, I think you told me you didn't have any kids. Yeah. But the problem with when we're raised that way, where you're like, just shut up and eat the food. Shut up.

I told you to mow the lawn. Don't question me. Yes. And it's true. And that's why I think sometimes. Like in, especially in the climate that we're in right now and a lot of divisiveness, sometimes I'm just like, everyone, let's just talk to each other. Yeah. Because race traumas, upbringings, we have a lot more in common than we think and.

It may look different, but we really do. A lot of what you're saying, I'm like, yeah, I've, I've been there. I've, I've done that. Yes. But I think where I went wrong though with my kids is I didn't want them to ever feel like that. Oh, so the pendulum swung the other way. Yes. I'm like, oh, no, I have fundamentally mm-hmm.

Where I'm like, I'm gonna kick your guys's ass. And they're like, ha ha ha. They're like, oh mom, that's cute. They're like, oh, mom's mad. And I'm like, oh no. That's a very real conversation that I've had with my, even in my first marriage. Like I am who I am because of the codependency that we had with my family to survive.

Mm-hmm. I am who I am because of the racist experiences that I had and I, and my adaptability. And how do you apply that? In a controlled way, in a safe way for your children. It's, I want my kids to be. Just as hungry, just as hardworking as me. But do I want them to be working 40 plus hours at 16 and not focusing on extracurriculars?

No, absolutely not. Yeah. But it's a, it's, it's a balance. Mm-hmm. It's a hard one. So I respect you parents. And the other thing I'm realizing. As my kids have gotten older, as I'm like, oh, I'm just learning too. Mm-hmm. And you start to have a lot more respect for your parents where you're like, Hey, they were just trying to get us here and make a better life.

Yep. You know what I mean? They're doing their best. So a lot of that resentment and that oh my stupid parents, it's just gone. I just, and that's freeing too. Yeah. You're like, they're just people. Yeah. You can, when you kinda do the work you can see the duality of two things can be true at once.

Maybe this wasn't the best thing for a child, maybe I wouldn't necessarily do this. To my children, but they still, and their intentions were good. Mm-hmm. Or at least I feel like they were, and that's enough for me to release that. Yeah. That's what we do a lot. My sister and I for a little while.

You you go through the grieving stages, right? Sometimes you're like, wow, why did my parents do this and this and this? And at the end of the day, when you put yourself in their shoes. One you, you're like, wow, I'm incredibly privileged. Thank the heavens that I didn't have to make those type of decisions.

And then two, you just have empathy for them. Like you, you have empathy for the time they took to even try. Mm-hmm. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. Or, or the, it's not anything to do with you. For example, like for me, my, my parents weren't very emotionally available. I love them, but they are not, even now looking back, I'm like, they're not even emotionally available for themselves.

Mm-hmm. They can't, they don't cry. I've seen my dad cry once, so then when I cry, it's very uncomfortable for him. But that has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with him and his upbringing, and that's a hard pill to swallow sometimes too after a while. Yeah. Do you care if I ask Sure.

What your experience was like, living. In the States right now, I feel like Utah's a great place, but as a, Mexican immigrant. Yeah, no, I love that question. I appreciate it. Because I just, I don't wanna skirt over the topic, but I obviously, yes. I can't put myself in your shoes. Does that make sense?

Yeah. No, no, no. I love that question and I think it's fair and I. I don't wanna get overly political for your fans, obviously. Oh yeah, it's fine. Everything is, it's in political, right? Yes. But I think it's hard. So it's, it comes in waves. So when I was growing up, we were about 7% of the community, so very, very minimal.

Mm-hmm. And and it was a small town, which has it, everything has its pros and cons. So when I say anything that is difficult about St. George in my upbringing, I really mean that in that. We're thinking critically here, right? Mm-hmm. It was really hard to be in spaces as a 6-year-old, 8-year-old talking about my father needing to get paid for services that he rendered.

Mm-hmm. With a woman that was racist. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Like that. That stuff is hard. And that was been, and she inevitably was racist only because she didn't really have very many Hispanic people. She didn't know them. Mm-hmm. She didn't know us. She really didn't communicate with us. And so I did have some tough.

Encounters growing up, but that propelled me to almost assimilate, which was also very good. And maybe we should start over on this one, but I, I, I learned to assimilate, I learned to adapt very quickly because of it, because I wanted to control. The narrative of who we were. I wanted people to understand that we weren't very different.

I wanted them to understand my parents were good people. I'm a good person. There was a sit situation when I was six years old where we would, we lived on Dixie Downs and we would walk down to Lynn's. Okay. And I was six at the time, my dad and I would walk down every Sunday just to get the paper.

There was a little paper stand, it's not there anymore, but we would go get the paper right before lens. And one day this big old truck just drives up to us as fast as it can. And he says, go back to where you effing came from. And we're like our back. You're like the hospital down the street.

Literally. Even then, it's yeah, it's, it's, I jumped out. The shock was horrible. And I remember like looking at my dad and my dad looking at me and he was like, what did he say? And it was. Like the, the, the racism was aside. It was hard, right? Mm-hmm. But at the end of the day, you can be like, okay, that person's ignorant.

They don't know what they're talking about. Sad, but just like looking at my father and his face and like having to even think about how to translate the hate and the, the, the visceral that, that was just like. For the rest of my life, it was like, no, my dad has worked really hard. My dad's here. My dad's a citizen.

And even if he wasn't even if he was in the process of trying to get a citizenship, that's not okay. And no, you're, you're still people. Yes. And they don't, they don't know anything about my dad's story, mm-hmm. They don't know why he left his, his country, his beloved country to come here to give me a better future like that.

Anyway, so that sort of stuff did happen, but then. Although it was like, now looking back, it's like I became a raging people pleaser, right? I'm like, everything that I, I need to do to make you, you're like, I'll stay alive, be comfortable with me. Uhhuh, yes, I would do. And I like essentially took over my, manage the management of my family, right?

Like I was the one that was speaking. I was the one that was translating. I got rid of my, lit, my accent as quickly as I could, maybe all subconsciously. That has helped me, that's served me in my careers as, as an adult, as in my relationships in a way. 'cause I can empathize with people. Mm-hmm. But that also came after years and years and years of not being myself.

And so everything pros and cons, right? Everything has its experiences. And then as an adult now, I think. After doing a lot of work with therapy and introspection and everything, it, it, it is hard to see a lot of the same rhetoric or a lot of the same mentality as that guy when I was six years old being amplified now.

But that's where came from because I was like, I want people, I, I'm sick of other people taking the narrative from us. I want people to hear from, from Hispanic men and women and, and, and even people that support us and want to learn about our culture and, and where we really come from and what the actual facts are.

I want them to be amplified so that they're as loud as the people who are maybe ignorant or choosing to, to not think critically and not look at the facts of a lot of things. And now it's more empowering. Now I'm just like, okay. Oh, I love that. I don't wanna be in a, in a negative situation, but I'm open to discuss things with people and I want people to ask more questions because really, truly, most of the time, especially in this community, this blue collar, hardworking, family oriented community, we have a lot more in common than people realize.

Oh, yeah. And, and. I and I, and I take that on me as well because I assimilated so much that I was like, I'm just like one of you guys. I'm just one. I'm like a St. George girl. What are you talking about? And didn't really abandon a lot of my culture for a long time. And that I think is also a detriment because when we do that.

It's easier for other people to speak for us. Yeah. I think, sorry, I always worry about No, no, just too much. I always worry about getting canceled, as a white girl. I'm like, are we allowed to ask these questions? Does that make us racist? But then if we don't, are we racist? It's like a very weird space to be in right now too.

Yeah, no, I, I do think there's a level of personal responsibility, right? Obviously we need to do our own research and and try to learn as much as we can. Even, especially if we're taking something at face value and we're not even thinking critically, we're not even questioning it. Mm-hmm. I think it is our responsibility to learn, even for other cult other, for me as a Hispanic, there's other topics that, I don't necessarily have to go to the, per the, the group of people that are struggling with that.

I should learn some things ahead of time. But I think if you approach it. In a, in a productive way, or even try to develop a relationship ahead of time to feel com to make the other person feel comfortable and then discuss things like this. Excuse me. I think that's very helpful. Yeah. But there's a way to do it, like I, what's one example for me, like I didn't know. I didn't grow up with a lot of Asian Americans. And I, I didn't know a lot about their struggle and how we had very similar upbringings as far as traditional values and like very high expectations from our family to be the success in the family, to get the family out of poverty.

I, this is a generalization. Okay. But that was, that's one thing that I learned and I realized, like I looked at my followers and I was like, I don't have any Asian American people that I'm following just to even understand their story and to get some relation or even have Asian American friends at the time.

And so I identified that that was an area that I was ignorant in, and I started doing some research about, a lot of the certain things that happened, especially in Utah with Topaz, the, the, that they have Oh, yeah, that's actually, I've been out there. It's in Delta. That's where my mom is from, and my grandma still lives there and some of my family around there.

Oh, I've been to it. I, I, I didn't know much about it. Just for context for people. It was during which World War ii, world World War ii. After they. The Japanese allegedly bombed. I'm one of those people. Oh, I'm all Did it happen? Yeah. Was it an inside job? I shouldn't say those things either. Cut that out.

Yeah. After they bombed Pearl Harbor. Yeah. And then they put people into these camps. And my grandma will tell me stories. She said that. Oh, wow. She as was a little kid, obviously like little and they would be at the borderline of like their farm. So they would talk to him through the fence.

Oh wow. But they were often very jealous of their living conditions because, this was during World War I yeah. A lot of, or was it one or two? I feel horrible. I should know my. I'd imagine it was two, but maybe there that up for me. Can you look some in There was probably, 'cause it was a, it was a lot of, it was a fear.

Like they was, did Pearl Harbor World War I or World War ii or are we totally off base? Cindy's gonna fact check for us. But anyways, I've been out there. They have a museum out there, but my grandma would say, because, they were having a hard. Time, like just getting all the stuff they need. I know they were fed and things like that, but she said we let too.

Yeah, they seemed to have it better, like just as a kid. Yeah. Obviously they didn't, they were rounded up and put into these things. But she's they were getting square meals and Yeah. And she says, just as a kid, she's I wanna be in there. Yeah. It was World War ii. Thank you. Yeah. And she was a kid and it was like, but also the the trauma of that and the community like.

Growing up. Yeah. Could you imagine we're just hanging out at our house and they're like, we've decided that you have 0.0 like you must be of heritage from Yeah. The only thing I can think is, 'cause I'm so white is Ireland, oh yeah. Yeah. And they're like, we've decided you were gonna move over to this like camp.

Yeah. What? That's happening like even today. And that's, that's the hard part too. Mm-hmm. People are being rounded up. Even, even, 150 citizens have been rounded up because they look Hispanic and some, they're put into these like alligator Alcatraz that they call it and stuff.

And it's, and it's, I think a lot of that comes from the same thing, which is fear, right? And, really harmful tic rhetoric that dehumanizes a group of people when we know that things are nuanced. Mm-hmm. Like a hundred percent. Nothing is black and white, right? Yes. And so when people are like criminal or not criminal, and it's they don't have any nuance in that. That's when you get things like topaz and aligator. Alligator Arch Raz, excuse me. I, maybe I should've used that. I don't know what it's actually called, but it's a, it's a detention center in Yeah. Florida. And there's another one here to comment on it, but I guess aside from all of that, it's that's just what I.

I think that that's how we combat those kind of things is by the community talking to each other. If you know of anyone that's a Hispanic, they most likely in the community that you like, are friends with or you work with or whatever, they most likely have a mixed. Citizenship family. Mm-hmm.

Where maybe one parent is a citizen and the other one is a permanent resident. And what does that look like and how do they get that? And you know what, like I have an uncle in California who's been trying to get citizenship for 10 years, and my dad just got lucky and did it right before, things changed.

And is my uncle technically a criminal? No. But is he. Fully documented, no, because he's in the process of doing that. And so it's it's so nuanced and it's so much more than just black and white. And I think asking questions is important, especially to the humans. Yeah. That you live around, I love that. So you're taking your podcast and making a platform just to tell people's stories? Yes. And be a resource. Mm-hmm. I, there are so many things that I wish that I would've learned sooner. And at the end of the day, timing is everything, right? I think I'm doing it at the right time, but if I would've known that I had a DHD at 20, I probably would've made different decisions prior to getting married and having all this, this different life, this altered life, this, I call it my first life.

And so I hope to have people on that. Or another example like Cody talking about. These life insurance policies that are so important that mm-hmm. Compound. And so if you start sooner, like by the time you're retired, it's just Yes. Education. So she's talking about my friend Cody. He does money stuff.

We've had Cody on the podcast. He's fun. It has, oh, I need to watch. I need to watch all of, I think Christina on here, but same. I had Christina on there try to talk about real estate. Yes, Christina. Mm-hmm. I'm talking about giving voice, being able to translate documents and things like that. Yeah.

I thought that was pretty cool. Christina's bomb. She's awesome. Yeah, she's pretty cool. And she's hungry. She's like a networking. She thirsty girl. I, I do wonder, I'm like, 'cause she'll invite me to things and I'm like, I don't have the bandwidth for that. But I do feel like I do a lot of things, yes. So I'm like, how do you have time? And she has a present mother and her husband has a business. She's a puppy, she has a business. I want. And a space where they can go and oh, you know what? Christina's story resonates a little bit with me. And also, oh wow, she's a real estate agent. This is what she recommends for me to do.

And 'cause that's the, that's how I learned. Yeah. Is by teachers taking time. Okay. So you kinda put your podcast on a little hiatus. Mm-hmm. Yes. And then we went to lunch last week and I'm like, no, you just gotta keep doing it. Yeah. You only had five episodes and I was like, whatcha talking about you don't quit?

Yes. No, I, I think this will be episode like 85. Probably 85. Yeah. And I feel like this is a baby podcast. Really well, that's why I appreciate the perspective, and I think that conversation was so helpful because I think you made me realize that it doesn't have to be perfect. Mm-hmm. And that I really needed to identify my, my main purpose with it because I, I got lost in the sauce.

I, when it's hard and it's emotionally taxing and it takes a long time. If you don't have a. Purpose if you don't have a, a clear passion goal, passion. Yeah. Yeah. It gets hard. And then also I think what'll happen is when you're not clearer, people will start to come into that and muddy it a little bit with their own agenda.

Yeah. In a meaningful way even. Yeah. Like for example, I've really been wanting to do we need to manifest this, put it into existence. Yes. And while, God, you got this, if it's a good idea, see you through, Oh. Ooh, I love this. Someone speeded in my, I know. I'm like, what is it? I wanna see it. It was definitely, what do you think?

A motorcycle, what do you guys think? That was A motorcycle face. Says motorcycle. Yeah, Cindy. Okay. Yeah. And it was while you're, you were trying to manifest, so it's like bad idea because I did, don't say it, but I was talking about doing a supper club, which is basically, you put on a high-end dinner party.

Ooh. But you have speakers and just different things, different focus. And I was brought some people into bed with me on it, and then all of a sudden it was like we were gonna have this political, the first one was gonna be like this political thing and bring in in the mayoral, mayoral candidates.

Oh. And I was like, that's just not my platform. It changed. Yeah. And so I just was like, Hey, I am halting this. I'll pause it. But I do think that if I do wanna restart this, it would be with my clear direction and goals. Yes. And it'd be like, Hey, I want you to come in and do X, Y, and Z. So I do in my business too.

I've been doing this for 10 years. You have to have the vision, you have to have the clear goal. Mm-hmm. But then you can go to people we all sat down at the table the other day and I was like what do you guys think about this? Let other people come in with their area of expertise and be like, like I'm very open.

I'm like, tell me what you think. Tell me what we should do. Yeah. Feedback Uhhuh, but it's still I know where the company's going. Mm-hmm. I know. What I'm willing to talk about and not talk about, yeah. I agree. I I did not have that. I, yeah. But at least you started, how many Thank you.

You could still be sitting there thinking about it. I know, I know. You'd be on Pinterest and that's on growth. That's on lots of therapy. That's on a supportive spouse. Mm-hmm. That's on a supportive friend group that, like I, I talked about Stephanie in one of my first episodes is she was a friend that I told.

This idea about years ago, and she would ask me periodically years ago, and now you've done it. Thank you. Yes, I, I, I wanna keep going. I wanna keep going and I wanna. I wanna be more personal about it. Yeah. Which I think that also learned from your, the lunch with you was you have to be personal about the approach, like genuine and and vulnerable about it.

Mm-hmm. And I, for a long time wasn't vulnerable. I was like, let's protect myself and no one knows really my opinions and no one really knows where I stand on things. And, and that's not me anymore. Yeah, it's your show. Yeah. Run with it. Amen. Say what you wanna say. Thank you. And sometimes it pisses people off.

Sometimes you get canceled. Yeah. Yeah. That's what my sister was talking about, that this was like five years since I got canceled and I'm still like, sometimes you get canceled sometimes it happens. Yes. And I feel if you're not, when I, and I don't know that, what hap do you? We don't have to.

What happened? Oh I talked about it a few episodes ago. But I was also talking about Charlie Kirk and stuff, so it's a passionate episode. If you wanna go back. Oh, okay. I'll watch it. Yeah, I'll watch it. But it's, to me, it's like

sometimes when you're doing the work that needs to be done, it's, it's hard on people. Mm-hmm. Or when you're shedding light on things that maybe they necessarily don't wanna hear. It, it, it, sometimes people can't, aren't ready to hear it, and that's fine. At the end of the day, it's like the people that I want to be there are open-minded and know that everything's nuanced and know that I'm not perfect either.

Like I'm learning from these guests as well. Yes. That's my whole mo and if I mess up and I. Think about it critically, and I look at the situation and I educate myself, I it's a hundred percent will apologize or, try to try to better the situation because we're only human. Exactly. Truly. But yeah, I think we're, we're so educated now, like we have so much access to information and I think it's our responsibility to use it.

And if I'm messing up, then yeah, call me on it. That's fine. I hope that you would also. Be okay if I call you on it too. You know what I mean? Like my audience, I'm like, let's come on the podcast and talk about it. Yes. Let's chat. Let's learn. Let's be better and grow. I think there's a lot of grown adult men in politics who could really take that on as well.

Yes. Grown men, grown men here in this community agree. We should have another episode about men, men, men needing. Okay, here's the thing. I think men and women, that's why I think sometimes women feminism gets a bad rap, which I obviously, I understand extreme happen. I know I would not be labeled a feminist, but it's I think true feminism, if you look back to what it was supposed to be, helps men and women.

And this is coming from a Mexican background where a lot of people in Mexico, that's why we have a lot in common. This community. Sometimes it's very machista, very how do you say Machia? I call it the good old boys club. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. Very same. Similar in Mexico and even in my family. And I think we need to evolve from that.

Yeah. I think men need to be more in touch with their feelings. I think men need to go to therapy and I think women also need to chill. Thank you. Yes. But, but, but in, in a way that's we have had to work so hard, and I understand that, to get our rights. Mm-hmm. We've had to work so hard to like. Do to therapy and look at ourselves and find your own value system.

I, I think that takes a lot of work. But I think we, just because of that, I think for, even for myself, like I just need to, I for a second, I'm like, I just need to calm down. I need to just breathe and allow. People to come as they are. I don't know. That's what she said. But TMI, no, it's still a thought process, but I think true Femin does.

Feminism will help both of us. And then it could help each other. No, because we were talking about bringing back like really good female friendships where you feel safe. Yes. Because that's one thing I don't feel safe in my friendships, so I'm like, I'll go to lunch. You can come on my podcast. But that'll probably be outside of that.

I'll be like, ah, arms length. Yes. You, I think of because those women, we just been like, maybe we should become friends. We do this. You and me. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm down the way I think we are, are friends. But yeah. Yes. No, I, I, I think that. Female friendships and talking is very important. And I, I'm, I'm the same way.

I keep everyone at arm's length. And I have a very small close group of friends. Mm-hmm. And I think that's okay. I think it's okay to have friends that are in like different buckets and move it around as you need. But yeah, we need to talk more. Okay, we're gonna do that. Yes. Okay. We got this. Yeah. But I'd also like to say I have some really, really great men that we work with.

Yes, I know. Great. We need men Yes. To help us. But I, I know where you're coming from. Yeah. 'cause at least once or twice a week, I have to go to one of those meetings where I'm mansplained. Yeah. Someone will ask me if I know who Gary V is. I'm like, I've had him on my podcast. But I don't say anything.

Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I still. I get it. And even this morning I was telling my husband, I need him to take care of something for me. And he's I don't understand why you can't take care of that. And I'm like, we've been through this. I need you to take your dick and go down over here. I said this to you guys.

Okay. I'm so sorry. I was like, I need you to take the penis that you have and I need you to go down. 'cause I was just starting to get flustered, yeah. I need you to go down to the auto shop and tell them Yeah. That she wants this done. That she needs this done. Yes. And he is just make an appointment.

And I'm like, I've done all this. Yeah. Kellen just had a reaction. They don't listen to me. They don't listen to me, but they'll listen to you. Mm-hmm. And that's just it's still, it's still a thing. It is. My Kellen, my fiance is 31 years old and he just barely, a few months ago when he was buying a house, experienced like misogyny firsthand and.

And it was eye-opening for him, but he had never experienced that before. And, and I think a lot of men don't. Yeah. Until it's absolutely necessary. Or they have a wife or whatever. And, and then how can they empathize if they've never seen it or if they've not even had the, the awareness to even look for it.

Yes. And then you get the, then we look hysterical. 'cause I'm like, I need you to take your dick down to the auto body store. Yes. And he's we're labeled as emotional. I was like, please. No, I, oh my gosh. Can I tell you the situation with this real estate agent? Yeah. I won't name names, but should we name, names?

No, no, no. Not necessary situation because I might know him. I took my, my business elsewhere. But we went to my fiance. Is bought his first home. Congratulations, Kalan. Ooh, ooh, ooh. About in December last year ago, or a year ago, I took a picture of him. He's tall ginger guy. Tall, dark, and handsome, but he is you know what? He had dark hair. He, I saw a picture of him. I was like, what? Who are you? But his beard just turned red for some reason. Oh, I'm no, he is definitely a red eyes. Just ginger. Yeah. No, technically not. Oh, but he is beautiful. He's six two. He's super sweet. It's a very quiet, very masculine type.

Right? And that's just laying the groundwork. Work for the story, but backstory, backstory, backstory, back story. I love a good back story. Okay, let's go back. So he's, he decides he's gonna buy a house for the first time. Now I've been married before I. Been involved with purchasing and buying of about three or four homes at this point.

Oh, baller. For my family it's just like the trauma, right? For my family, for my fiance, my ex, my ex in our life and everything. And moving a lot for work. It just happened. Mm-hmm. And and Kellen was very aware of that, so he asked me to help. I was like, sure, absolutely. I've got you. And so I, I hook him up with Christina actually a real estate agent in town that I trusted that I, she was up and coming, but she'd already sold a couple houses at this point.

And she's been in business for a very long time and a networking queen and you know that And negotiations. Yeah, she's, and Christina's great. She's wonderful, right? And so we show up to this very famous builder in town to one of their houses to view it. Christina got there first and then I got there and I go straight up to him.

'cause I, I've been in business forever, like in sales forever really. I go up and I shake his hand and make direct eye contact and you can just tell he's like very uncomfortable and he just shakes my hand. He is hello. Hey thank you so much for meeting us, whatever. Basically lead the conversation.

But it, it ends 'cause he doesn't say anything else. Killing is like in the car. He's coming in a little bit later than me. Yeah. So it's awkward, it's uncomfortable. I, the vibe is off, but I'm, it's okay. It's fine. We just met. Kellen walks in this six, two man walks in, never pushes home, but the guy is instantly like lights up, goes and shakes his hand.

Makes really great eye contact with him. How are you? Asks him about him and his needs, asks him about where he is from. Mind you, he doesn't know like anything about any of us, right? Yeah. And he doesn't know like we're going into this house together. Like he just immediately gives Kellen this great treatment and then proceeds to ignore me and Christina the rest of the time, the Christina who's gonna do the DLL for him.

How fascinating. Isn't that crazy too? Yeah. 'cause we were two Hispanic women and granted at the end of the day, like he didn't say anything and it's all microaggressions, but it was it was enough that at the end we walk out and I didn't even have to look at Kellen. Kellen was like, what was that? He's I have never experienced that.

Why did he do that? And it, it's just that it's just that he has a dick, like you said. That's it. And, and no disrespect to Kellen and he knows that. He's I, I had the least amount of experience in that as far as those, these type of transactions. Mm-hmm. But he. Treated me like gold and just, he was just an older guy from here in St.

George. Good old boy. Yeah. And he did not, was not having it. He did not like us. Oh, bummer. You got a podcast. It's I'm just kidding. I didn't know you worked for a radio station here. Oh, I, yes I did for a year. I'm actually gone, did I tell you? Friday was my last day. What? Oh, are you a free bird? I am free for the first time since I was, okay.

16 officially. But really I helped my dad with his business when he, when I was like eight. From the time I was, who knows when? Eight to 16 I have not, not had a job. Yeah, let say that. Cor better. So what do you I have never, what are you doing with your time? I am. What's your plan? Oh, can you show? I told you we couldn't have that cup on the show.

You can't see it. Edit out. It's got a name on it. I'm just kidding.

No free advertisement here. Just tea. I'm totally teasing. I'm just joking. I actually usually have my Diet Coke front center, but we were going for a vibe. So I put it down. Oh, does the Diet Coke match the vibe? Okay. Face. She's our vibe checker. It's girls talking yapping out in the sun. Yeah, I know. My head's getting Just, just don't, don't include the logo.

I'm a lizard. I'm mostly just giving you shit. I'm a huge shake ever. No, for real though. That that's expensive placement. Oh, a product. A name like that? Yeah. Product placement. You can't get that for free. I know. Diet Coke. Did you hear that? Yeah. I'm paying them at this point. Sponsor, please. What was I saying?

Oh, yes, I'm a free agent. Yeah, I am. I have a couple offers I'm considering and there's a company that I'm really excited about, but I'm going back to a law firm for sure. Which one? I can't tell you. Is it that one? I haven't accepted it. No, it's not that one. Oh. That's why you can't include it. But we, it's not the law firm I love, it's No, it's not the law firm you love.

It's a different area of law. 'cause I, I, I am considering going to law school, which is another thing that I'd put My God. That's amazing. Thank you. I'm in the year of like, all the things that I wish that I would've done when I was younger. I'm just going for it. Yeah. But I didn't start this till I was 30 and I don't feel like I've really come into yeah.

Where I'm actually going until just, I turned 40 this year. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, because for a long time you're just like, if you don't, my sister even, she's 25 and she's what am I doing with my life? I'm just a waste of space. And I'm like, girl, you're 25. No, shut up. But when you're 25, even myself, I was like, I, I felt like such a failure because of X, Y, Z, whatever.

It's yeah. But anyway. Yes. Okay. I'm pivoting. I'm going back to a law firm. We'll see how it goes. Pray for me. What? What kind of law is it? Can you disclose her now? State. State. Hopefully I have it, but I'm gonna go to Proven Law. Ooh. With Lindsay Bayless. You know her? Yeah. She was at the loot. Yes.

Uhhuh. Yeah. If I didn't get this, I'll tell you so you can edit this out. Oh, do do. She's I think you mumbled it anyways. I didn't hear anything Proven. Proven law. We like that law firm. Yeah. I actually like all the law firms. I'm just being a smart ass. There are some law firms I struggle with.

'cause the law firm on your cup is a direct competitor to the law firm that we love. Yeah. Yeah. There's love for everyone, but there's just tears. Tears. But we're also just joking around, yes. And yeah, you're right. Yeah. Jokes, jokes. Jokes. I'm all jokes, guys. All jokes. Whichever camera we're looking at.

Okay. But call me. Thank you for your time today. Yes. Let's circle back. Let's do coffee. Okay. I wanna hear about like your career. I love that. This is really cool. So congratulations. Thank you so much. Thanks for being Samantha Parker show. I appreciate it. What an honor. Yeah, you're a badass. Oh, real quick, what's your handle?

Shout out. Oh, okay. So my personal is Melly Macho. Yes. You, you just threw a killer Halloween party. Oh yes. Thank you. Yeah, you saw that. Wow. I did. Did you see my costume there? I did. We should do a whole podcast episode about my costume. Was that sponsored? That should have been sponsored. Sponsored by Skip.

That was perfect. God, can you tag them? Yeah. Okay, good. They didn't say anything. Let's go and spam tag them. I know. But my personal account, you'll see a lot of that hosting my fiance, my dog drinks. I like to make some drinks and post on their recipes. Then my what kind of my what? Drinks.

We don't talk about drinks on this podcast. We don't. Okay. You can make them mocktails. There we go. You really can then we can talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. And then, oh, and I make coffees too. Ooh. Have you seen them? Oh girl. No, I gotta see them. My Breville. You have a B already pay for itself. I used to go and get coffee out in the world every single day.

Okay? I love to go get a latte, but don't make fun of me. So today I was determined to get the Starbucks. Teddy Bear cup. Oh, they they're doing that now? Yep. So it's cup, it's a holiday cup. Mm-hmm. It's a glass teddy bear and Oh, just kidding. His, the lid is a, his little hat. Yeah. So I went to several Starbucks this morning.

This is, I shouldn't even admit this. What? It's six in the morning. They had already sold all out. I'm talking, so I'm making friends with baristas as I go. 'cause I'm like, maybe they have some under the counter. They'll one on the back. Yeah. Yeah. The one barista said they all, the Starbucks only got six to maybe eight depending on how big they were, and they were sold out.

They had a line when they, it's 'cause it's St. George. No big corporations like that don't value. Six to eight. Oh, she said it was like a big marketing thing. Oh, all of them across the nation. Oh, according to random. Oh, amazing. Super awesome. If you're listening, barista over at Smith's marketplace. Yeah. Dang.

I'm sorry. And then, then I'm like, what am I doing? I'm driving around looking for a cup. Drink it though, whatever you need to do. I have trinkets too. I have cups. I have I, yeah, with my dog. But I did get a sugar cookie latte. 'cause the holiday flavors are out. That's not the show you were talking about is the teddy, like the teddy Graham latte, which was famous on TikTok.

I thought that Starbucks was making the They're not, but I know what you're talking about. Yeah, those are good. Can you make me one? Yeah, I could actually. Okay. I'm gonna come over next time. It'll be at my house. Yeah. But that's my personal handle and my podcast is at Ana Media. Yes. It's all linked there.

Yeah, I, I've seen little snippets of your podcast. Keep going. I'm trying kick ass. Thank you. Show up, repeat for the next five years. Okay. Okay. You got this. Do it. Woo.