Second Fiddles

Episode 11 – Sister

September 18, 2021 Sidekicker Studios Season 1 Episode 11
Second Fiddles
Episode 11 – Sister
Show Notes Transcript

Tammy leads the group to rescue Max. The identity of Linus's sister is finally revealed.

FOURTH WALL
Previously, on Second Fiddles: Max was taken hostage by MacGuffin, who sent his son to serve as sentry. Because of Linus’s loyalty to his lady love, he wants to let Max go. Security Blanket was bad at security and Invisidude snuck in to break out Buck. Pitch, Recall, and Snoozy Susie are on the scene. It looks like a climax is about to happen, and not in a sexy way. Well, who knows, some of the narrative choices so far haven’t made any sense.  Let’s begin.

MAX
Episode 11, Sister.

TAMMY
A-ha! Bingo!

REN
Did you find something?

TAMMY
No, it’s a game that Max and I play. Kidnap Bingo.

REN
Do I even want to know?

TAMMY
There are only so many locations where villains and their henchies hideout, so Max and I keep track on these stupid Bingo cards we made up. I hope he realizes that being held hostage in a shipping container in a basement in a warehouse by the docks totally ruins his chances of winning.

SOPHIA
I believe that Buck would rather be safe than win a game of Bingo.

TAMMY
He’s surprisingly competitive at games.

REN
Oh, you called him Buck, are we using aliases now?

SOPHIA
Yes, Snoozy Susie, we are in costume, so it is appropriate.

TAMMY
Sophia, I love your A-league professionalism.

SOPHIA
You are welcome, Pitch. While we wait for Invisidude’s signal, let us go over the plan again.

TAMMY
I thought you never forget anything.

SOPHIA
Not for me, obviously, but for the sake of the team.

REN
You mean for me.

SOPHIA
Objectively speaking, you are the least experienced in these scenarios. I am only looking out for your well-being.

REN
I get it, I get it.

TAMMY
Okay, so while we wait for I.D. to find Max, we’re gonna wait here in view of the shipping container that Eloise led us to.

REN
Where did she go, anyway?

TAMMY
I don’t think birds like being underground, so she took off back up the freight elevator. While we wait, we’re going to keep watch, be patient, and don’t do anything rash. We’re not sure who we’re dealing with. There’s no P.L.O.T. in sight, so MacGuffin might not even be here anymore, and we have no idea how many henchies he has at his disposal.

SOPHIA
I do not believe that the PLOT would be able to make it into an underground area such as this.

REN
I know PLOT is an acronym for the tank MacGuffin drives, but it’s really confusing sometimes.

TAMMY
I don’t think MacGuffin’s here, I doubt he would be on lookout duty. Besides, we saw that door closing when we first got here, so we know someone’s in there with Buck.

SOPHIA
Snoozy Susie, if Pitch and I are unable to deal with any physical threat, you will act as our contingency plan. You did not comment the first time we ran through the plan on the way here. Do you feel comfortable with this potential course of action?

REN
Not really, to be honest. I don’t want to chance hurting any of you.

TAMMY
Ren, We need all hands on deck. We don’t know what we’re about to face.

REN
What happens if I knock you guys out, and one of the bad guys is immune to my powers? That would leave me by myself, and I haven’t exactly completed my hand-to-hand combat training.

TAMMY
You’re not instilling me with confidence in our plan.

REN
I’m scared, alright? I only want to use my powers in safe, controlled environments. That’s why my job with Lucy works out so well.

TAMMY
This is for my brother, okay? If you can’t put your fear aside to help your friend, you shouldn’t be in this business. You could go work in a nursery, or become an anesthesiologist or something. Having powers doesn’t mean you have to use them to fight crime.

REN
I just want to do good. I need to make up for all the bad- Uh, it doesn’t matter. But seriously, Pitch, you can trust me.

TAMMY
I don’t think I can, kid. You’ve been dancing around this for months now. I need to know why you’re so scared to use your powers.

REN
I- uh. Can’t you just take my word?

SOPHIA
I do not believe that you should pressure her, Pitch. I trust her, and so should you.

REN
Thanks. I mean it.

TAMMY
No. Not good enough. I need to hear this from her.

REN
No! I can help, I swear.

TAMMY
Get out. Go home.

SOPHIA
This is not the time or place for this discussion.

TAMMY
Spill the beans, or I’m done with you.

SOPHIA
You do not need to answer–

REN
Fine, you want an uncharacteristically revealing confession? Here you go! When my powers developed, I was 14. My family and I– we were in the car. My mom was driving us all home from church, and my sister and I were singing along with the radio. My powers kicked in for the first time and everyone fell asleep. We went right through a red light, and another car t-boned us. My dad was in the passenger seat, and he died instantly. My sister was in a coma for over a month. I killed my dad, and my mom hasn’t been the same since. Most nights, I have to sing my mom to sleep, because her nightmares are too bad. It’s the only reason I kept using my powers. She blames herself because she was the one behind the wheel, even though she knows it was me. She would rather hate herself than hate me, and I don’t deserve that grace. That’s why I’m here, doing this. To make up for all of the pain I’ve caused. Well, that was the short version. Happy now?
 
TAMMY
You know, my parents are almost deaf now. I damaged their hearing when my powers first started. I barely ever visit them anymore, it hurts too much. I didn’t mean to make that about me, but I- I can relate a little bit. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life, and most of them weren’t accidents.

REN
Who cares if it was an accident? I used my powers, my dad died. Cause and effect. It’s not up for debate.

SOPHIA
You are a good daughter, Ren. And a good person. I think your father would be proud of you.

REN
Don’t you mean Snoozy Susie?

SOPHIA
I like Ren better, at least for this.

REN
Thanks, Sophia. It means a lot, coming from you.

TAMMY
And coming from me?

REN
It would probably mean much less, so don’t bother.

TAMMY
I’m sorry that happened to you, I am. But now I can trust you, and that’s all I care about.

REN
Well, that’s wonderful for you, but now how am I supposed to trust you? Forcing me to tell you, just so that I’ll be allowed to help save Max? That’s messed up.

SOPHIA
Her brother is in danger, let us at least cut her some slack until this is all over.

REN
Fine. Slack is cut. I totally hate you right now, Pitch, but I’m also kinda glad someone else knows. Oh, crap, is that the door opening?

SOPHIA
Yes, someone is exiting the shipping crate. Snoozy Susie, stay out of sight.

REN
Gotcha. Good luck.

SOPHIA
Pitch, what are you doing? We are supposed to wait for ID’s signal. Stay back!

TAMMY
I got this, Recall, stay hidden. Why, hey there, if it isn’t a wet blanket!

LINUS
Tammy! You have no idea how glad I am to see you.

TAMMY
Is Max alive? Is he okay?

LINUS
What? Oh, yeah, he’s fine. We were just talking about you!

TAMMY
What?

LINUS
We need to get him out, sooner than later.

TAMMY
We who?

LINUS
We, as in, you and me. We.

TAMMY
Don’t come a step closer or I’ll scream your pretty face off.

LINUS
Tammy, hold on.

LINUS
Let’s just talk this out. There’s no need for any face melting today.

TAMMY
Really? Then why did you just put up a forcefield?

LINUS
Because you literally just threatened my life. I thought that was obvious.

TAMMY
I know who your father is, and I know you’ve been working me this whole time.

LINUS
Good, I’m glad. It’s finally out there in the open. And, I know that you’ve been working me, too. So, I guess we’re even.

TAMMY
What? It’s not even close.

LINUS
I know that Fourth Wall asked you to keep an eye on me, so don’t even try to lie to me about it.

TAMMY
How would you even know that?

LINUS
My father has his ways.

TAMMY
So you just went with it, knowing that I didn’t actually like you?

LINUS
It started as a job, sure. I wasn’t planning on us getting physical. But, that was a great bonus.

TAMMY
You’re a pig.

LINUS
You should talk. You did the same exact thing to me. Why did you pretend to be into me? You could’ve just been my friend. Shameless flirting would’ve kept me on the rope forever.

TAMMY
I- I don’t know. I was afraid you’d get bored.

LINUS
You know I could never get bored with you, Tammy. I love you.

TAMMY
Are you kidding me?

LINUS
BLEEP. I didn’t mean to say that now. BLEEP, BLEEP. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say anything, please.

TAMMY
What’s wrong with you? We both just admitted that we’ve been sleeping with each other under false pretenses, and our entire relationship is based on lies, and you tell me you love me? You’re a henchie! I can’t love a henchie! And I certainly can’t love a henchie who kidnapped my brother!

LINUS
I didn’t have anything to do with that, I swear! I just showed up here to guard an asset. I didn’t know it was Max until I got here. We were going to come up with a way for him to escape that my dad would believe. Go ask him, I swear!

TAMMY
Why are you working for your father? I thought you were trying to be a sidekick, not a henchie. I know some failed sidekicks turn to crime, but you have everything!

LINUS
I’m not a henchman. He’s my dad, I can’t exactly say no. I never wanted to go into the family business. I went to Rose Academy, remember? And yeah, I have everything. Money, a big house, whatever I want, but that’s all paid for by my father. I tried to go out on my own, and I couldn’t get a job. Apparently you need experience to get a job, but you can’t get that experience if no one hires you. The first and only job my father offered me was to go to that audition and meet you. That’s it. Until today, with the, umm–

TAMMY
The bug in my apartment? Yeah, we shut that down right away.

LINUS
Oh, that’s great. I thought I set it up wrong.

TAMMY
You’re not defending yourself very well.

LINUS
Why should I? I was asked to spend time with you, and I did. I don’t regret a single second of that, other than the lying part.

TAMMY
This is the part when I’m supposed to be the righteous one, and tell you that your lying is unforgivable, and nothing you could say would sway me. I should tell you that it was nothing but sex, and you’re a giant douchebag…

LINUS
Is there a but? Please let there be a but.

TAMMY
But- Spending time with you is the first thing that’s made me feel worth anything in years. You get me. Screw the predictive formula. Get your pretty face over here.

LINUS
Tammy, thank you so much for believing me. Can I– Can I kiss you right now?

TAMMY
Uh, yeah, that’s why I said come here, you idiot.

TAMMY
Linus, I… can’t believe you just fell for that.

LINUS
Huh?

TAMMY
Getting you to drop your forcefield was easier than I thought. Now that I’m touching you, I’m guessing you can’t put it back up without me being in it, right?

LINUS
Why would you–

TAMMY
You really thought I would just forgive you, in like ten seconds? When am I ever that easy?

LINUS
But, Tammy, I- I love you! I would do anything for you! I know this sounds rushed, but everything snapped into place today. I’m not the slutty trust fund kid you think I am. That was mostly an act. I’m really messed up. You try growing up with an evil mastermind for a father.

TAMMY
Linus... I’m kidding.

LINUS
What?

TAMMY
I wasn’t trying to trick you to lower your forcefield. Although, if I was planning on hurting you, you failed miserably. I just wanted to hear you say how you feel again.

LINUS
I will eat however many burritos you want from now on, I promise.

TAMMY
That’s the hottest thing you’ve ever said.

SOPHIA
Pitch, Security Blanket. Could you please remove your tongues from each other’s mouths?

LINUS
Oh, uh, hi. Didn’t know we had company.

TAMMY
Oops. Got carried away. She’s with me. This is Recall.

SOPHIA
As we are here to rescue Buck, and you two are apparently in agreement on that point, may we proceed with the aforementioned rescue?

LINUS
You didn’t tell me you knew a robot! Cool!

TAMMY
She’s not a robot. But she’s right, let’s go get Max. We’ll think of a cover story later. Why aren’t you moving?

LINUS
Sorry, it’s a little hard to walk right now.

TAMMY
What, are you hurt?

SOPHIA
He has an erection, Pitch. It is quite apparent.

LINUS
Uhh, sorry, I got a little excited when we kissed.

TAMMY
Oh. Damn! Great, Recall, now you’re never going to forget the sight of my boyfriend’s boner. Linus, can you, like, will that thing to deflate, please?

LINUS
Well, it was starting to go away, but then you called me your boyfriend, and it hardened right back up.

SOPHIA
I am embarrassed for both of you.

TAMMY
I’m not embarrassed, do you see the size of that thing? That’s all mine!

LINUS
I really would like to die right now.

SOPHIA
As would I, especially because there is a chance you may be my brother.

LINUS
What? I’ve never even met you before.

TAMMY
Oh my god, I didn’t think of that. Don’t look at your brother’s boner tent!

SOPHIA
If I could easily blind myself, I would.

LINUS
I’m pretty sure I would know if you were my sister.

SOPHIA
I know that MacGuffin’s involvement in the downtown bombing had something to do with his daughter, and my current theory is that he knew it would draw me out with Smasher to investigate.

LINUS
You work with Smasher? That’s so cool!

TAMMY
Not the point, babe.

LINUS
Sorry. You’re right, he did do that for his daughter, but it wasn’t for you.

TAMMY
You have a sister? When you said you had an older sibling, I was imagining a brother, for some reason.

LINUS
Well, I–

SALLY
He’s ashamed of me, that’s why!

LINUS
Oh, no, this is bad.

SALLY
You wanted a boner killer, well, here I am!

TAMMY
Sally Mander is your sister?

LINUS
I probably should’ve mentioned that.

SALLY
Thank you, brother, for keeping an eye on our little Buck friend, but I’m here to relieve you of your duty!

TAMMY
Is this chick for real?

LINUS
I thought you were locked up in The Island, how are you here?

SOPHIA
She was released months ago. There was an unspecified legal technicality.

LINUS
How did I not know this?

SOPHIA
This news was not available to the public.

SALLY
Daddy forgot my birthday last year, and he’s been trying to make it up to me. You say legal technicality, I say bribe people with tons of cash! Daddy broke me out just in time to cook up a recipe for some venison. Who are these two?

LINUS
Uh, they’re, uh–

TAMMY
I’m Pitch. This is Recall. We’re here for Buck!

SALLY
After the Stag and his worthless sidekick captured me and sent me to the Island, I’ve been dreaming of my revenge! If you think you can stop me, we’re going to have a problem.

SOPHIA
You want... revenge? What does that have to do with bombing office buildings in the city?

TAMMY
Is now really a time for an interrogation?

SALLY
Daddy did that to make me feel better! Before my run in with that mangy deer, I had the worst haircut of my life. Imagine being sent to prison with crooked bangs?

TAMMY
You mean daddy, like, your father, right? Not like, oooh, yes, Daddy, I’ve been a bad girl?

SOPHIA
Are you saying that the hair salon was the target all along?

SALLY
Daddy knows I love a good explosion, so he targeted some of the surrounding buildings for fun!

LINUS
You always have been a daddy’s girl. He would do anything for you.

SOPHIA
Please explain this to me. Your father forgot your birthday, so he destroyed the salon and murdered innocent people just to appease you? There was no reason? No logic behind those attacks at all?

SALLY
It seems pretty logical to me!

TAMMY
Recall, now is not the time to worry about your narrative arc having no payoff. We need to get my brother!

SALLY
Buck is your brother? How marvelous! I was going to use him to lure in the Stag, then kill him right as his hero arrives, but now, I can kill you in front of your brother, too! In fact, I may even–

LINUS
Sally! Please stop with the dramatic villainous speech stuff. We can’t even get through one family dinner without you monologuing about how much you hate kale. I don’t need this right now. Also, I really have to pee, so can we hurry this along?

SALLY
Just because you’re the black sheep of the family, you think you can talk to me like that? You’re pathetic.

SOPHIA
Sally Mander, I will only say this once. You will submit to us and allow us to place you in custody for your crimes, or else. Please do not resist.

SALLY
Resist? Oh, like... this?

TAMMY
Recall!

LINUS
Sally, stop it!

SALLY
Brother, get me out of this bubble and let me burn these BLEEPs alive. Or I’ll tell Daddy!

TAMMY
Linus, Recall’s down. Can you keep Sally trapped in your forcefield?

LINUS
Yeah, for a little while. Hey, where did this chick come from?

REN
Pitch, I’m here, I got Recall. She dodged the fireball, but slammed her head. She’s alive, but out cold.

TAMMY
Okay, stay with her. Linus, this is, um, crap, I don’t want to say it.

REN
Snoozy Susie.

TAMMY
Yeah, that. She’s with us.

SALLY
Oooh, one more little sidekick to burn!

TAMMY
Shut up! And you’re right, your bangs are awful.

SALLY
What? I’ve already had them fixed!

TAMMY
Oh god, I guess you’re gonna have to blow up another salon, then, because you look ratchet.

SALLY
I will cook your flesh, Pitch, and roast your brother alive! I will cook his insides until his eyes melt!

TAMMY
That’s it, BLEEP. (screams)

LINUS
Stop!

TAMMY
Why the hell did you put up another forcefield? She wants to kill Max!

LINUS
She’s still my sister. If I hadn’t put up a soundproof field, you would’ve killed her.

TAMMY
Take. It. Down.

LINUS
Well, we don’t have to listen to her talk anymore, that’s something.

TAMMY
Linus, we have to save Max!

REN
Hey, Recall’s waking up!

SOPHIA
What– what happened?

REN
Sally Mander tried to blast you with a fireball. She’s trapped in a forcefield right now. Are you okay? You hit your head really hard.

SOPHIA
Yes, I feel… I feel different.

REN
Don’t stand up, you need to rest.

SOPHIA
No. She tried to kill me.

REN
Okay, fine, stand up, don’t listen to me. Recall, what are you doing?

SOPHIA
She tried to kill me.

REN
Why are your eyes glowing?

SOPHIA
She tried to kill me. And I don’t like it when people try to kill me!

TAMMY
Oh my god, Recall… 

LINUS
Uh, does your friend normally do this?

TAMMY
No, no, she… never uses contractions.

LINUS
What? No, I mean the whole turning silver and growing eight feet tall thing.

REN
Keep her away from Sally!

LINUS
Recall, is it? Sally’s behind my forcefield, she can’t hurt you. You’re safe.

SOPHIA
I don’t care. Let her out! I must destroy her!

TAMMY
Um, yeah, this is new.

LINUS
Recall, don’t touch the forcefield!

SOPHIA
DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I’M GOING TO PUNCH HER FACE OFF!

TAMMY
Linus! Recall, stop! When you hit the forcefield, you knocked out Linus, too!

SALLY
Thank you for breaking me out of there! I haven’t had the pleasure of dealing with Smasher before, but I’ll gladly take on a lady Smasher!

SOPHIA
YOU TRY KILL ME, NOW I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

TAMMY
Not if I do it first!

SALLY
I will turn you to ash!

TAMMY
(screams)

REN
(singing) Have a Rosie Day, shop the Rosie Market way!

SALLY
What? Why do I feel so... 

REN
Have a Rosie Day, shop the Rosie Market way!.

SOPHIA
WANT TO KILL

REN
Have a Rosie day…

SOPHIA
SO… SLEEPY…

REN
Well, that could’ve gone better. 

MAX
In this episode of Second Fiddles, Tammy is voiced by Liz Thompson, Ren is voiced by Kristy Barkan, Sophia is voiced by Robyn Rime, Linus is voiced by Alex Sinicropi, Sally Mander is voiced by Jenny Gibson, and Fourth Wall is voiced by John Pupo. Thanks for Listening!