Episode 61 – Power

Chameleon and Rose adjust to their new partnership.

—Thanks for listening!—
Follow us on social media:
IG: @secondfiddlespodcast
FB: SecondFiddlesPodcast
BSKY: @secondfiddles.bsky.social

Transcript

61 - POWER

SOPHIA
Previously, on Second Fiddles:
Rose is looking for the powerful Eternity Gems. She is still quite the mystery—Even Fourth Wall didn’t know that she existed! Speaking of unsettling surprises… Chameleon’s Kromin self was awakened when they became pregnant, and our former… friend is now out there, somewhere, trying to further their evil alien agenda. If I speak on the subject any longer, I may transform into Basher and destroy my surroundings, so instead… Let’s begin.

MAT
Episode 61: Power

SFX: KNOCK ON DOOR

ROSE
Come in.

SFX: DOOR OPEN

CAM
Hey, Rose! How’s it hangin’?

ROSE
What are you doing here, Chameleon? We weren’t supposed to meet until tomorrow.

CAM
Well… I did a thing, and I had to change the plan a little bit.

ROSE
Your vagueness is irritating.

CAM
So is your human impatience. Your species hates waiting.

ROSE
I hate being interrupted even more.

CAM
Maybe you’re like this because you have to gestate for 9 months. I feel like this baby is never gonna come out.

ROSE
I could remove it for you right now, if you’d like.

CAM
Yeah, no.

ROSE
Why are you here, Chameleon?

CAM
I think a better question is, why are YOU here? When you told me to meet you at Red Thorn Ranch, I thought you were kidding. Aren’t you afraid someone will find you here?

ROSE
After the ranch was cleared out, it was boarded up and abandoned. No one would ever expect me to return here.

CAM
That actually makes sense. You’re not as stupid as most of these statics.

ROSE
Why, thank you, dear. That means the world. I really do not like it when you use that word.

CAM
Stupid? Or static?

ROSE
Grouping all non-Kromins with a generalized term is oversimplification.

CAM
I’m a shapeshifter. A static is just anyone who’s limited to one form. 

ROSE
So you respect shapeshifters of other species?

CAM
Not as much as other Kromins, but sure. Basher and Smasher can transform into larger, stronger versions of themselves, but they only do it out of necessity. Why not always live like that, and rule the world? It doesn’t make any sense.

ROSE
Some of us humans like our privacy. Being the biggest and the strongest puts a target on your back. It’s much easier to get things done when you’re… unassuming.

CAM
I take it you’re speaking from personal experience?

ROSE
You try beginning your life as a frail, sickly girl in the 17th century.

CAM
Holy BLEEP, just how old are you?!

ROSE
If you must know, I was born in 1666 in what is now known as Massachusetts. My family were farmers, and my mother died in childbirth with my younger sister, who never made it past infancy. My father resented me because I was small and weak, and I was useless except for growing herbs.

CAM
I don’t normally love this much exposition, but I’m mildly curious. So, did you have any other siblings?

ROSE
Yes. I had two brothers: Moses and Thomas. Moses and my father died from smallpox when I was 12. Thomas was willing to take me in, but his wife despised me, and once they had their own children, she froze me out. I married the first man who showed interest, and I never heard from Thomas again.

CAM
Does this walk down history-lesson lane have a point?

ROSE
You’re making me regret our allegiance, Chameleon.

CAM
We work together; you don’t need to adore me, although you should. You seem extremely lonely, and kinda sad, but I’m not up for toting more tragic baggage.

ROSE
You have made that abundantly clear. Since you hate humans so much, why aren’t you fraternizing with your brethren?

CAM
Ploonjer? He’s taking care of Baby Stevie for me. Helpful, but so needy and histrionic. I can only handle him in small doses.

ROSE
Hmm. Why are you referring to Ploonjer as “he?” I thought your species was asexual.

CAM
Holding human form has given him an identity crisis. He told me he’d like to try using he/him pronouns, and who am I to get in the way of a weirdo’s happiness?

ROSE
You trust him with your adopted child?

CAM
Sovereign Suprem. He does my will without question, and I could tell if he ever lied to me. 

ROSE
Interesting…

CAM
I’m not sure how he’ll like being a pawn in my plan for world domination, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

ROSE
Excuse me? World domination?

CAM
Rose, we’ve talked about this. After I squeeze out this baby, hot male-body-me is going to BLEEP my way through this planet. Once my Kromin offspring spread their genes for a few generations, Earth is ours!

ROSE
Generations?

CAM
Such human impatience, Rose. Sometimes you have to bide your time. Kromins live hundreds of years.

ROSE
Have you forgotten that I’ve been looking for the Eternity Gems for nearly a century? I am very patient.

CAM
Coulda fooled me!

ROSE
Well, once I rid this planet of all the superpowered people, you’ll have no one to stand in your way!

CAM
That’s why we get along so well.

ROSE
Going forward, do you have… concerns?

CAM
I mean, you’re a little intense, and I don’t know if I can trust you, but otherwise, things are fine.

ROSE
Is there anything I can do to gain your trust?

CAM
You could tell me more about the Eternity Gems.

ROSE
I’ve told you everything you need to know.

CAM
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six ancient gems, with their powers combined can be used to do literally anything. But how were they even created?

ROSE
No one knows for certain. Some say they’re as old as the universe itself——byproducts from the big bang. Other stories tell of powerful gods who distilled their essence into the gems as gifts for mankind.

CAM
So, you have no clue. 

ROSE
I know that the gems seek each other out, and they’re all in Rose City now, so it’s only a matter of time before I acquire them.

CAM
Well, Blue Moon’s ass is the Reality Gem, and he can’t be that hard to find. What about your Power gem?

ROSE
The Power gem was fashioned into this bracelet by a clan of Viking warriors. It was part of a traveling exhibition that stopped at the Rose City Museum in the 1950s. I… acquired it and learned how to unlock its abilities.

CAM
How did you know about the ass powers?

ROSE
That was a little more difficult. I found records of Blue Moon’s ancestors that coincided with stories of glowing blue lights preceding miracles in rural Ireland. It was tied to lore regarding fairies and other supernatural creatures, so I didn’t believe it at first.

CAM
And the other four gems?

ROSE
Back in his heyday, MacGuffin had been hunting for them as well, but I don’t know if he was successful. There is a chance that he or one of his children are in possession of one.

CAM
Linus doesn’t have anything like that, at least, not that I’ve heard. And Silver has never met her dad, so I doubt she has anything of value. It would have been Sally, if anyone. For all we know, she might have been wearing one as a ring or on a necklace.

ROSE
And she’s deceased, correct?

CAM
Like a scrambled egg on a sidewalk. If she had anything on at the time, it might have been shoveled up with her remains, sprayed across the street, power-washed down a storm drain. BLEEP, it could be anywhere!

ROSE
Let’s focus on the positives, dear.

CAM
I’m not your dear.

ROSE
Should I be concerned about your former colleagues throwing a wrench into my plans again? Or do you think you can manage them?

CAM
Sophia will have told them about my Kromin “coming out.” It’ll be a challenge, but I have a plan.

ROSE
Which one is Sophia?

CAM
You haven’t met her. She’s Recall, AKA Basher. Either insanely smart with a perfect memory, or super strong and muscly.

ROSE
Hmm. I met MacGuffin’s son, the one who makes forcefields, and the one who climbs walls.

CAM
Linus and Parker. It took Parker a long time to heal from you practically ripping his arm in half, but he’s back out patrolling the streets in colorful spandex.

ROSE
What about the truth teller?

CAM
Elijah had invisibility until The Threat’s technology reversed his powers, and now he can see what’s hidden. And you already know about the lying thing. You also met Tammy, who screamed you senseless, and Cassie, who slapped Blue’s ass and broke your hold over him.

ROSE
I’m not worried about the screamer; she caught me off guard. That other one, though, she’s going to be a problem. What are her weaknesses? Her… limitations?

CAM
None that we know of, but she’s still figuring that out herself. Her sister Ren could be used against her.

ROSE
Hmm. Good to know. Is that everyone?

CAM
Not exactly. Max could be dangerous, too— he’s not great with his laser beams, but they’re strong. And there’s Crampus, but she doesn’t even like being a sidekick much anymore. She’s working part-time for Lucid Lucy, the Dreamwalker.

ROSE
Perhaps this Dreamwalker could help me locate the Dream Gem. It may be one of the harder ones to find.

CAM
Hey, whatever floats your boat.

ROSE
Isn’t there one more? The little one who flies?

CAM
Oh! I can’t believe I forgot the reason I came here in the first place! Be right back!

SFX: FOOTSTEPS

ROSE
What are you talking about?

CAM
I told you, change of plans!

ROSE
Yes, but I figured you were just being vague to annoy me.

CAM
Oh, I was! But I was also telling the truth!

SFX: DRAGGING SOMETHING HEAVY

ROSE
What is this, laundry day? That is a very large sack.

CAM
That’s what she said!

SFX: DRAGGING ENDS, MUFFLED CRIES BEGIN

ROSE
Oh my goodness, is there a creature in there?

CAM
Why, yes!

SFX: OPEN SACK, MUFFLED CRIES BECOME LOUDER

ROSE
Oh! It’s the girl with a tail!

CAM
Meet Kelli-kopter!

ROSE
You had her bound and gagged in a bag outside this entire time?

CAM
Yup! Okay, Gale, this is going to hurt.

SFX: RIPPING DUCT TAPE FROM GALE’S MOUTH

GALE
Ow!! What are you doing?

CAM
Taking your tape off. Would you prefer I didn’t? 

GALE
Chameleon, what’s going on? Where am I?

ROSE
You’re at Red Thorn Ranch, my sweet young girl.

GALE
I know you! You’re Rose! Help! Somebody help me!

CAM
Gale, would you shut up? There’s no one else here.

GALE
Are you going to kill me?

CAM
Don’t be such a  BLEEPing drama queen.

GALE
Recall was right, you’re evil now!

CAM
I’m not good, I’m not evil, just motivated.

GALE
Let me go! Please! I promise I won’t tell anyone I saw you!

CAM
Yeah, I don’t believe that for a second.

SFX: WIND STARTS TO BUILD

GALE
Let me out, or I’ll let myself out!

SFX: WIND GETS LOUDER

ROSE
Chameleon, please stop her.

CAM
Fine!

GALE
(grunt of pain)

SFX: PUNCH/STRIKE. GALE FALLS TO THE GROUND. WIND DIES DOWN.

CAM
She’s out cold. Better?

ROSE
Yes. Thank you. Now will you please tell me why you’ve kidnapped her?

CAM
It’s pretty genius. Care to guess?

ROSE
I’m not. In the mood. For guessing.

CAM
Fine, party pooper! I may need to infiltrate Second Fiddles for intel, or mislead them, so I grabbed one I could easily replace!

ROSE
Yes, but why did you choose this one?

CAM
Well, I have to stay in a female shape while I’m pregnant, to keep my uterus, but I can still change the rest of my form. Can’t alter my total mass, so Ren and Cassie are too small. Can’t replace powers, so Tammy or Sophia would be too hard.

ROSE
If you’d like to lose some mass, I could remove one of your limbs. Would that help?

CAM
I’m happy with my mass, thank you. Anyway, Gale is perfect. Her dump-truck dinosaur tail is really thick, so I can use it to… displace the rest of my mass.

ROSE
What about her powers?

CAM
She’s supposed to be finishing up her last semester at Rose Academy, so ‘she’ can say she needs to focus on school. Gale only likes to use her powers outside, so I’ll hole up indoors.

ROSE
Clever. Will you be able to emulate her personality?

CAM
She’s perky and talks about roleplaying all the time—it’ll be pretty easy. Let’s see…

SFX: SHAPESHIFT SQUISH

GALE
Oh, golly! Would anyone like to go fight grown men with fake swords in a muddy field with me?

ROSE
I don’t know what you’re talking about.

GALE
That’s okay, no one does!

SFX: SHAPESHIFT SQUISH

CAM
Seriously, she always talks about Dungeons and Dragons, and LARPing, but how the BLEEP do the mechanics of DND translate to LARPing at all?! BLEEPing nerds.

ROSE
I am… confused.

CAM
Anyway, what do you think? I can totally pull this off, right?

ROSE
If you’re confident, dear, then I believe in you.

CAM
Stop calling me dear, you condescending– Oh, and speaking of deer, I’ll have to avoid Max in person whenever I’m posing as Gale.

ROSE
They’re particularly close friends, I take it?

CAM
Max is a telepath, but can only read animals and aliens, including me. If I get close enough to him, the jig is up.

ROSE
I see. Would you like for me to… take care of Max for you?

CAM
No! Geez. I’ll have to do this carefully.

ROSE
And what is “this,” exactly?

CAM
I swiped a ton of power dampeners from HQ when I broke out Ploonjer and Stevie. Ploonjer is great with tech, and he can disguise the dampeners as jewelry. You know, something inconspicuous. I just need to get each Second Fiddler alone with me, and BLAM-O! Slap on a power dampener… voila! No one left to get in our way!

ROSE
Hmm. Where do you plan on keeping them?

CAM
I got a little kinky with the residential wing and added restraints to the beds and walls. Got some nice sedatives, too.

ROSE
It would seem you have all your ducks in a row, Chameleon. Impressive. Is there anything I can do to help?

CAM
Oh, I doubt it. If I need anything, I’ll let you know.

ROSE
Splendid. So, you’re going to let this one live?

CAM
For now. We may need Gale for information. Better to have a resource and not need it than to prematurely dispose of a body, am I right?

ROSE
I dislike loose ends, but I’ll trust you. For now.

CAM
Gee whiz, Ma, that’s all I ever wanted!

ROSE
You don’t call me that ever again, and I won’t call you dear. Deal?

CAM
Deal. So, could you help me drag Gale over to her ‘suite?’ She’s heavier than she looks, and I’m really tired.

ROSE
You got her in here by yourself. Why would you need my help now?

CAM
You’re going to leave the pregnant one to do all of the body dragging?

ROSE
Yes. Yes, I am. I’m quite busy!

CAM
Doing what?

ROSE
Research! That dreamwalker you mentioned might be helpful for locating the Dream gem, but the other gems are a mystery. We can at least deduce the natures of the Time and Sight gems, but the Spirit Gem is the one I need to learn more about. There’s been no mention of it for decades.

CAM
Yeah, well, have fun with that.

ROSE
And you have fun unstringing the Second Fiddles!

CAM
Oh, I will!

SFX: SHAPESHIFTING SQUISH

GALE
This is gonna be SO MUCH FUN! (giggle) They’ll never see it coming.

MAT
In this episode of Second Fiddles, Rose is voiced by Chrisi Tayln Saje, Chameleon is voiced by Allana Langen, Gale is voiced by Betsy Harris, and Sophia is voiced by Robyn Rime. Theme music by Pete Johnson, and writing, producing, and sound design by Mat Johnson.

To connect with us on social media, follow us on instagram and facebook at SecondFiddlesPodcast, and tumblr at Second Fiddles. We’re also on threads and blue sky! Transcripts of all of our episodes can be found at our website, secondfiddlespodcast.com. Thanks for listening!