Engaging your Intuition with Emilah DeToro

#024

In this episode, I chat to Emilah Dawn DeToro. Emilah Dawn DeToro M.Ed., PCC is an Intuitive, Life Coach, Energy Healer, and Change Agent. She coaches, teaches, and empowers people to engage their intuition, put themselves at the center of their lives, and trust themselves when making life, relationship, and career decisions and transitions. Her clients make changes from the inside out which leads to more satisfying, joyful, and financially stable lives.

In 2004 she was in a rollover car accident that cracked open her being allowing psychic, intuitive, and energy healing gifts to flow through her. She completed her coach training with Leadership That Works' Coaching for Transformation program in 2010 and integrated her skills into Intuitive Life Coaching. Prior to re-opening Dragonfly Coaching and Consulting, LLC in 2020, Emilah was the Student and Career Services Director at Southwestern College in Santa Fe, NM. 

She has been a member of the International Coach Federation since 2011 and credentialed at the PCC level since 2015. She is a Global Member of FemCity and is on the path to becoming a Sparketype Certified Advisor. You can explore her blogs and offerings at Emilah.com. She lives in Santa Fe, NM with her husband Jacob Gotwals.

We discussed:

• Emilah's Transformation
• Being and Doing
• The Dragonfly
• Changes
• The integration of parts
• Individuality
• Emilah's work as an intuitive life coach
• Top 3 Tips 

Connect with Emilah:

Website: Intuitive Life Coach | Coaching for Transformation | Tucson, Arizona (emilah.com)

Facebook: (1) Emilah Dawn DeToro: Intuitive Life Coach | Facebook

LinkedIn: Emilah Dawn DeToro: Intuitive Life Coach: Overview | LinkedIn

Instagram: Emilah Dawn DeToro (@emilahdawndetoro) • Instagram photos and videos

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Website: Podcast – Construction Cheer Leader (anneokafor.co.uk)

Blog: Anne Okafor – Medium

Linkedin: The Everyday Determinator Podcast: Company Page Admin | LinkedIn

Instagram: Everyday Determinator Podcast (@everyday_determinator) • Instagram photos and videos

Twitter: @DeterminatorPod

Transcript

Unknown: 0:00

Welcome to the everyday determinator podcast with your host Anne Okafor founder of the determining or collective, we want to help you get off that hamster wheel of life and turn you into an everyday the Terminator by shooting stories for Americans who have overcome varying challenges in life on careers and by reviewing and signposting you to help or resources to start you on the journey to achieving your goals. For more information on the Terminator collective, please visit www.un okafor.co.uk Thanks for listening determinator.

Anne Okafor: 0:50

Hello, and welcome to the everyday determinator Podcast. Today I'm talking with Emilah Dawn DeToro, a professionally certified life coach who works to coach teach and empower people to engage their intuition. Emilah has her own story of transformation. When a car accident changed her life, allowing her to gain clarity and trusting her own intuition previously employed within the higher education field. She now works to help others transform their lives by teaching them how to trust their intuition to Hi, Emma is great to have you with us.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 1:24

Hi, and thanks so much for having me.

Anne Okafor: 1:27

You're very welcome. So let's start about a little bit of background and I want to share with our listeners a little bit about what your life was like prior to 2000. And for

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 1:37

sure. So prior to 2004, I was in the higher education field. So I started, you know, after college, I was a residence hall director. So I lived in with students managing residence halls, and doing a lot of programming on campuses. I lived in upstate New York, I was married, I was divorced, I was very left brained. So I was really into processes and how things happened. And I've always been kind of a natural coach or advisor. I've always been a bit empathic and very connected to other people. So in 1998, I moved to Tucson, Arizona, to start a PhD programme and higher education student affairs. at the Centre for the Study of Higher Ed and I loved Tucson. It was a really, as I said, when we were starting I'm here now I like to come down here in the winters. It's so warm. And I was very academically driven. Like I knew that I wanted to be an administrator, I wanted to move up the ranks of student services, be a Dean of Students, maybe a vice president and I was really active and all of that. I was studying power politics and gender and higher ed and in student affairs programmes and doing a host of other jobs within higher ed. And then I really had kind of a personal crisis. And you could say got sober, right, and started to work some 12 Step programmes, started to do some yoga, started to meditate. I took a part time job at the centre of the programme and integrative medicine, which is here at the University of Arizona and learn about alternative medicines, homoeopathy, acupuncture, things like that, that I really wasn't all that aware of before. And then one day I was coming home from work and a traffic light in front of me turn from red to green. And I went through and a white van sparkle dryclean van came in the passenger side of my car. And my car was in a black Subaru. It flipped on the roof and spun and slammed into a post. The I woke up I obviously blacked out. I woke up and I was hanging from my seatbelts and just looking down at the steering wheel kind of like wow. What just happened? No. Yeah, it was very, I mean, really, it was just a day in the life right of somebody doing qualitative research on classical homoeopathy efficacy that was a normal job.

Anne Okafor: 4:37

It's just incredible, you know, and it's, yeah, I mean, it's just incredible because these things happen every day. You know, I mean, and that's the thing you know, like, I guess for me, having you know, Touchwood Nothing like this has happened to me and but it does happen every day. And that's the scary thing that can happen to anyone. You know, a day in the life of it can happen to anyone, you know, just going home from work and As these incredible things do happen, and then, you know, I really resonate when you're talking about your three car accident life, you could be talking about me in a lot of these ways, you know, in terms of the processes and quite academically driven, and I mean, different scenarios, maybe you know, but I'm very focused on helping, you know, younger people and the processes of how these things work. And you know, how we can help people and, and a lot, I think a lot of what you did before, like you said, natural coach, quite empathic, but actually, that was kind of your job as well like that, you know, you were helping people and advising. So I guess that part of you has always been there. But now, perhaps maybe more amplified, because you've maybe leaned into it more is still your job, but maybe in a different capacity that's chosen that now you've chosen to focus on that. So obviously, you know, this day in 2004, going home accident, tell us a little bit about that recovery and the aftermath of those in the first days, because obviously, your life literally turned upside down, you know, car accident, you know, but actually, in the aftermath, there were some things that you need to reassess because of this.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 6:18

Absolutely. Yeah, my life did literally turn upside down. So as I mentioned, in the few years previous to the accident, I had been studying yoga, I had been certified as a yoga teacher, I had taken on teaching classes around town, I had actually just taken on the responsibility for teaching yoga at a very large retirement community. So I had a contract to teach there. I did a lot of meditation. In fact, I had spent the summer at an ashram, a Nanda ashram, in New York, deepening my meditation practice and chanting and things like that. So when the car accident happened, you know, I was brought to the hospital, they checked me out, I didn't have a scratch on me, actually. It was really miraculous. And I had a mild traumatic brain injury, right, I had a concussion, my brain was shaken and stirred. And it's not uncommon. I find out later, that people who have a mild traumatic brain injury have some capacities open around meditation, being able to be more psychic or channel healing energies, maybe see things that are not informed or people that are not informed. And I made sense of that experience through the lens of yoga and Vedanta, and the spiritual teachings of that lineage. So I would be in my house sitting in my living room, and I would have visions of Ascended Masters of Indian teachers or gurus and have conversations with them. I remember really vividly a conversation with mother Mira, who was an Indian teacher. And it was both shocking and comforting at the same time, right. And that went hand in hand with cluster migraines, a body that had been really shaken and so even though nothing was broken, or cut, I had osteopathic manipulations for many months because my whole body was disjointed. It was out of place. And of course, because I had been working at a programme and integrative medicine, I had groups of people, I had people in my life who could direct me to both allopathic medicine and alternative medicines. And since I had been studying classical homoeopathy, I also used homoeopathy to help mitigate the experience, but honestly it was probably four years before I felt like my brain had settled. during those four years. I moved from Tucson. I spent another summer at the ashram in New York and then I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico to study i Your VEDA at the Ayurvedic Institute, which is a Indian form a similar to traditional Chinese medicine. So, my life really turned upside down. I couldn't work. I didn't have access to my left brain. I couldn't follow through on things very well. In fact, during that period of time, I sold a house I moved to Albuquerque and then a few years later, I filed for bankruptcy because I couldn't hold a job. I couldn't think I couldn't budget I couldn't really do many of those left brain things I had done Previously, I was floating, that's how I like to think I've often talked about it was I spent four years high, right? Like floating in the ethers, being able to communicate with animals and trees and rocks and learning to work with the healing energy that came through my hands, learning how to create boundaries around what I was hearing and seeing, because frankly, it's, it's pretty overwhelming to walk around the world and know things that are really none of your business. Or I perceive it that way. At this point that really not on my business to know what the person in front of me at the grocery store is thinking or experiencing, right, or a healing that may help them. But at that time, I was pretty dysregulated. And I didn't necessarily know that was problematic. It was pretty cool, right? But it was overwhelming for my nervous system for my life. I was single at the time, and I stayed single for quite a bit of time. Because I just couldn't cash I just it was hard to make my life work. Right. I couldn't really earn a living. I started doing intuitive readings for money, and I started doing energy healing. And I bounced around through several part time jobs until 2009. Yeah, it turned my life upside down.

Anne Okafor: 11:26

It's almost two different, you know, two completely contrasting experience, you know. And I wonder, you know, you said that, when the accident happened originally, you sort of took the teachings that you got from yoga and things prior. And I just wonder, in hindsight, do you look back and think that almost that turnin? Because I mean, I don't know why you initially went into yoga. But do you have a feeling though, that that was almost the reason you turned to that with some sort of preparation for this new stage or, you know, I kind of wonder if that might have occurred.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 12:02

That was definitely I think that is true. In retrospect, I mean, I have always been really drawn to the esoteric, and Yoga and Ayurveda. And meditation was incredibly resonant for me, like I just couldn't get enough of it. No matter what I just wanted to meditate more, I wanted to do more yoga, like it was just in my being. And so I think it was a preparation to help me make sense of what happened. I think it was also a preparation to understand like in Yoga and Ayurveda, they talk about Kundalini rising, which is the energy of you might say, the snake that of awakening that comes up the spine. And for most people, that's a pretty hard process. To do that you have to meditate a lot, you have to do a lot of yoga, you have to have kind of restrictive lifestyles. And in a way that car accident just went, bam, there you go on a good luck with that. And I had an understanding of that. So I do think it prepared me for it. I also think it prepared me for how to take care of my nervous system. Because when you have a head injury, when anyone has a head injury, it just regulates the nervous system. And the practices of yoga meditation helped to calm down the nervous system, and it helps to integrate. And in fact, over time, I've come to understand that my my brain kind of got it healed itself in a different way. Right now I have a really lovely balance of left and right brain. I once had a an energy healer, who worked with me say that, you know, most brains work bilaterally, you have the left brain, your right brain, and they kind of talk to each other, but they have this kind of experience. And what he suggested was that migraine looks more like an infinity symbol. Like there's more of a movement between the two and the left and the right brain inform each other. Now, I don't think that's particularly special. I think we see this in long term meditators, right, they have a capacity to move more seamlessly through the left and right brain, creative and structured capacities. And so I think it really served me well and I'm still a part of those worlds, you know, today, maybe not as intensely as I was early on, but they've certainly created the foundation for my life. Right? And as you can see, I'm even wearing a shawl religious, you know, Sanskrit on it. So they have become foundational.

Anne Okafor: 14:49

I also feel that when you telling your story, they're hidden, you know, in the beginning, so pre 2004 pre contract so everything's very left and processing and you'd all like quite structured bank on accident, and then that disappears completely. And then for the sort of four years, you have this other side experience. Yeah, completely different. Like you said, you compare that with being high, you know, for four years. So, from one to really structure and and really process to really, you know, out there. And you know, you mentioned like no boundaries, you mentioned Philippi floatin, that's almost like full control to no control.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 15:28

Absolutely, I think you hit that right on the head, like I went from a person who controlled her world in order to feel safe to a person who had no control, really, of her world. And there was so much creativity in that, I think I got a window into what it's like to be an artist, what it's like to be a writer, I mean, I would wake up at four in the morning and start writing, and write and write and write, and then it would just like turn off at six o'clock, and I'd get up and go about my day. So there was a creative aspect to it, not just a woowoo, kind of out of this universe aspect to it. That was really interesting. I was much more spontaneous, I was much more interested and curious about things. And I was less emotionally stable, frankly, right, that because of the chemical changes in the brain, so it was completely different.

Anne Okafor: 16:30

Yeah, that's really interesting. And you know, a lot of that you recognise, I sort of almost benefit to that part, you know, even though, if you'd probably told your pre 2004 self, that that's what it would have been, like, you probably would have, like, you know, me, I was thinking, you know, if someone had said, Oh, my God, you know, as you're recognising the benefits of that creativity, so I think we, you know, I quite often talk to children. And I often think that we don't think outside the box, we don't have that sort of child's creativity that we have when we're children. And I just wonder how someone, now obviously, you're managing to consolidate the two and have that balance, you know, you obviously gained back some of the control, you're, you know, you've got your own business. So you're obviously learning to put processes and boundaries and things back in. And I just wonder how you consolidate those two, now to have a balance that works for you.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 17:25

Now, so I spend a lot more time in the space of being, I guess, and following the internal or sometimes external guidance that I receive. So we often talk about this dichotomy between being and doing. I mean, it's really all the rage now. To be just be, don't do everything, don't strive so much. And I think over the last 10 years, for sure, that's really my orientation has been cultivating that. So allowing the structured work, the intense work times, you know, the building of the business, the setting up the client, management system, the marketing, the things like that to come from this place of internal impulse, instead of, oh, here's my list for today, I must get it all done. Right. So I wake up in the morning, I do a meditation, I do some journaling, and I get a sense of what's in store for me for the day. Right. And that includes, you know, it may include client work, it may include more administrative work for the business. So the doing is informed by the being. I've also talked about it actually as putting the mind in service of the heart. Yeah, so the heart is the one to kind of give the inspiration and then tells the mind, or that left brain, okay, so you could really help me by doing this, this, this and this. As opposed to how I lived previously, right. Previous to the car accident, which was, I had lots of to do lists, I had lots of obligation, I have lots of duty. And maybe if there's time left over, I could take care of myself, or play or things like that. I think the other thing I wanted to just comment about that is in my business, I talk about the metamorphosis of a dragonfly, that for many years, a dragonfly nymphs will live at the bottom of a stream. And then one day it just simply crawls out of the stream and onto a blade of grass. And the water from the stream pumps out those ways and the eyes and creates the dragonfly and a very vulnerable place on the grass where it could be scooped up by a bird at any time. You know, it's very vulnerable. Ball and, and I think that was really my experience in the beginning of learning how to live again, a totally different life in a vulnerable way. And that took a lot of psychological healing as well, you know, the dragonfly has two wings, I think of that as one wing is the spiritual development, you might say, which came upon me very suddenly, even though the pump had been primed. And then the other side is more psychological, emotional healing the wounds from childhood healing the difficult behaviours, or the unstable emotional places that were from the trauma of my childhood. So there was this way in which, over the last 10 years, in particular, that those have come back into balance. And in order to fly, I had to do both, I had to see a therapist, I had to do the emotional work, the therapeutic work, and integrate that with the spiritual awakening and intuitive work and the the healing energy work. Right. And, and I think the balance of those two is coaching. Right? The balance of those is what I've come to love and the work that I'm doing in the world, which is Intuitive Life coaching. So it's not been without its like, literal work. Right?

Anne Okafor: 21:28

Absolutely. I think that the one thing I've learned from speaking to him, lots of people have stories like yours, you know, myself included, is that it is work to change things, you know, people think, you know, you go through traumatic experience, or, you know, a car accident, or whatever it may be, we all have something, I think we all have a story. And there's something that's, that changes things for us. It takes work to, to get back to you after that, you know, I don't think one of my guests said to me, that, when we, you know, are quite often after trauma, we tell our things, bad things, we tell our things, bad stories, you know, about maybe are worth or whatever. If you're telling yourself something bad for 10 days, you then at least need to do good stuff for at least 11 days to mitigate back, you know, so you need to if you're, if you're in a bad place for four years, you know, you need to at least be four or five years in a good place and doing that work to try and, you know, get yourself back or get to that place where things are back in balance. I think your story, as horrible as the experiences you've had, it really beautifully explains the stark balance between one and the other. And however, then the to then come back to balance once you've done the work and utilise one of the courts that you mentioned on your website on one of your blog pages was that because I wondered about the Dragon flight, you know, it's through your literature and things quite a lot. And one of the things that you'd said was through conscious living, we'd become capable of flying. And I think it's that that sort of making a choice. It's that understanding why we're here. And it's almost an acceptance of the bad things that we've come through, doing the work to understand that and to accept it, because you know, nobody just accepts these things overnight. It does take work as hard work because well, you know, but it's worthy work, because we can understand why we can fly then and why we're capable of flying under the two wings. And I really like how you've just brought that to life for us. And it really fits with your story as well.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 23:35

Yeah, well, I think what you're pointing to is the process of integration, right of integrating all the parts of us into our lives and accepting them and supporting them. You know, there's a lot of ways that happens therapeutically through inner child work through EMDR through talk therapy. And there's a lot of ways that that happens in spiritual work as well as the awarenesses of our connection to something larger than us. And Don and also how, in a way, it's not special. You know, I'm not the only one who can do this around the world. Right? You can follow your intuition too. You can be a spiritual being having a human experience. And you may language that differently. You might use a different religious frame, you may use a different spiritual frame, but the integration of our traumas, the healing of our traumas, the way our brains function, the experiences of our lives. To me, that's where the juicy healing is integration, because then we become more than just a sum of our parts. So having become somebody out together and it's something

Anne Okafor: 24:50

I totally get, because for a long time, I kept parts of me isolated and cut off in a little corner. And I didn't bring them in to my being utilised. Just there were there. And nobody knew, you know why. And suddenly, essentially accepting them and bringing them as part of me and my story and my process, then I feel like I'm holed out, I feel like I'm doing more of the work, because I'm able to help others who have been through similar things through talking about it. It's, it's that understandable that actually, you're not so special. But also, that is what makes you special, you know? Exactly.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 25:25

Yeah,

Anne Okafor: 25:25

it's quite a hard thing to get your head around at the beginning, I think because we spent so long telling ourselves all these life stories, actually, you know, many people have a story. And you know, many people have different reason. And part of the reason we're here is to talk about those and talk about the things that we can learn at the back of those. And I think, you know, it's really important in that sort of getting unstuck process, you know, that's a real big realisation for people is that, you know, everyone has something, and we can help each other you know, what you need to bring into, you know, you need to bring that part with you, who you don't need to bring it along. And I think one of the big things for me, that's true, yeah,

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 26:03

I think you're, again, you're pointing to this idea of like, we think of life and polarities, right? I'm special, look at me, I'm special, I can do these cool things. I'm not special at all, everybody can do these things, right. But the truth is somewhere in the middle, like we are individual beings are individual souls, higher selves, whatever you want to call that spark of that makes us us. Right. And that is special. And all humans have a specialness to them. And I think that's so important for us to remember. And I think in some ways, it takes a good bit of our life, to really get to, to the centre of the polls, right? Yes, so many places, right, and to really know and believe, I have something to offer. And all of the things that were such challenges along the way, helped me offer that better. Right, because, like you said, we all have trauma, we all have big issues. Mine was a car accident, mine was an opening, but other people have very different experiences. But if they've integrated those experiences, like you have, and others, then we just become a more full human. And we don't live in the black and white anymore, we live in the grey, and we do what's ours to do. And that's just so much more satisfying than doing the list of things that we think we ought to do, or we showed or our family told us, or whatever the story is that we grew up with.

Anne Okafor: 27:43

I just love that. And I really do resonate with a lot of what you've said, there, you know, I have, it's exactly where I'm at in the world. And then, you know, I feel like bringing the two together. And I think, you know, we talk about authentic a lot. And that's exactly what it means, you know, being bringing your whole self, you know, the good and the bad. And understanding that, you know, we're not either special or not special, everybody's got something to offer to the party or to the table or whatever situation you may be in, everyone can bring something and contribute. And it's certainly something that I try and speak to my young and new professionals about as you'll be yourself. That's what people want to see. They want to know you. They want to know what you can bring, and trying to get people to understand that. And you've really put that into words for me there as to why that's so important to you.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 28:33

Well, the other thing is that, you know, I'm 55, I was just 55. This year, I'll be 56 this summer. And when I was growing up as a professional, they didn't really want your whole self in the job in the work world. I think that's a profound difference today, like the millennials and the Gen z's. I think I hope I have the right Zooks there, you all are much more clear that, wow, you're getting all of me. And I think for that reason, you go through a transition earlier, younger in life, right? Whereas for my generation, if we weren't gonna make it in our careers, we really did have to hide a part of ourselves for a period of time. And it's only been in the last few years that the world has changed in that way. Right. And that those of us who have been doing that integration and changing how we work in the world, and how we show up for the last decade or two or finally Lego, thank God, there's momentum, right? Yeah, because younger people are like, Hey, we're not going to tolerate that. You get all of me. I have kids. I have a family. I'm not going to work until I dropped dead. But that was literally

Anne Okafor: 29:54

Yeah, people aren't arson. We are who we are. And that's the right thing, you know, and it should be. And hopefully, you know, we're still not all the way there yet with that concept. But we are a lot further on than we were a few years ago. And I hope that we get to a point where we can all be our whole selves wherever we go. Let's see, I

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 30:15

think. Yeah, I think it's one of the gifts behind the COVID tragedy, right, is that people learn how are learning to slow down, they're learning to listen to their body and to accept and create the world they want to live in, you know, which is

Anne Okafor: 30:37

gentler, allowed us to reevaluate what was important, you know, I mean, because I think before a lot of people were still very much going through that career, Mel, you know, like, job, you need to go to work nine to five, you must work from the office, because that's what we were always told that we had to do. And no, the pandemic's comments really accelerated this alternative way of working, where people can experience a life work harmony, which is much more in tune with what they want to do. And I think it goes to your way of speaking about the heart first, and then the mind, it's the heart first, you know, I need to take care of my family. But I can do that by working from home and being here and being able to pick the kids up from school and go to the appointments, but I can still do the work. Whereas before it was very much Well, I must go to work, and the head kicking in first, so that I can then look after the family. And so you know, that for me, it's been a really big shift over the pandemic. And I think it's really accelerated beyond what we would have seen without it. So although the pandemic has been an absolute tragedy, for many things, it has also brought around opportunities, and hopefully some learning and how we operate and how we, you know, work forward with things in the future,

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 31:55

and how we prioritise, you know, how and what we prioritise, you know, the great resignation, because that's just what it is, people are prioritising their well being their physical health, their mental health, over the grind. That's how I see it in a very simple form. But

Anne Okafor: 32:14

I agree as well, I think many people will find themselves in that, you know, in that space, as well. So I would just like to give you an opportunity to tell us a little bit about what you do. As a coach, obviously, you're always mentioned about coaching, and you have any intuition based approach, obviously, because that's your experience. And I think one of the things that you're referred to, and I really love this, because it's quite a visual thing, but you've been called the midwife to the soul. And I think that gives me really sort of visual about, you know, rebirth and you're just moving into this new phase of life, I guess. So tell us a little bit about the work that you do at the moment with your clients.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 32:51

Sure. So I'm an intuitive life coach, I work with people long term, six months minimum longer to engage their intuition, put themselves at the centre of their lives, and trust themselves and like intuitive guidance that they receive. So it's a way of working with people, we work deeply were looking at both emotional and intuitive understanding, how do you receive guidance? What does that look and feel like for you? Is it visual? Is it audio auditory? Is it kinesthetic through the body? And how can you use the information that you get through your own internal guidance system, to make decisions in your life that move you to a more satisfying place. And so some people I work with are doing that in their personal lives around relationships, or around codependent or people pleasing strategies or things that they've done in the past, wanting to heal those. Some people do that around work, they've come to a point where the work that they're doing isn't satisfying, and they are stuck, and they just don't have any idea how to move forward. And I think by following those internal cues, or guidances, that's midwifing the soul, right, that is asking what we know, the question I asked them often, which is a little stunning for people is, what do you know that you wish you didn't know? Because if you can point to that, if you can say that out loud, then we can make some momentum, right? But there's always something for us that we know that gosh, we wish we didn't because if we say it out loud, it could rock our world. We could change a lot. And so I walk with people as they make these changes as they change their lives. And so it's often the most satisfying ones for me our longer term because we get to, I get to, like witness and hold their hold space with them teach skills, and teach curiosity and different ways of thinking over a long time and to see how their lives become much more satisfying, much more joyful, much more aligned with what their soul is here to offer, right and here to live. And so as a coach, as an intuitive life coach, that's like the whole shebang. That's what I call the package, right? That's the whole thing. But I also offer individual sessions around intuitive readings if people are stuck, and they just want some help clarifying their next steps or energy body alignment, which is, is really coaching for the energy body. It's helping untangle what we hold in our body so that we can think more freely and move more freely, maybe it will reduce pain, maybe it will bring new awarenesses. And then I've just started offering healing for pets in their people. I've been working with pets for years, but I've never thought to offer it publicly. So just last month, I tossed that up on my website as an opportunity for people if, if they have a dog or a cat or horse or lizard, needing some support, in terms of their physical, emotional health, I do energy work and a reading mix together for them. So I've been doing this work really since 2006, and 2010, I went through a coaching programme and integrating the coaching with the energy healing and intuitive work. And so I've been doing that whole shebang work, you might say, since 2010. and seen a lot of people through this transformational process before it became mainstream, right? Like my social media manager. Who is I don't know, I think maybe she's 30. I'm not even really sure. I love her. But she calls me an OG, here are the original gangsta that you're doing this when I was just like, kid, and I'm like, there's some truth to that, you know, and I'm really grateful. It's come mainstream now. Yeah, right. Nobody really blinks when you say I'm going to transformational process, I'm getting comfortable with uncertainty. And learning to choose work that really resonates for me, I'm learning to follow my soul or my guidance, you know, today that's more common than it's ever been. And gosh, I hope that's where we keep going.

Anne Okafor: 37:36

I guess, you know, you say nobody blinks. But actually people are seeking that out know, exactly. It's becoming much more forefront. And I really liked the question that you posed about what do you know that you wish you didn't, and there's many things where I can look in my life. And sometimes, you know, and we say all the time, I know deep within myself something not right in this situation, or something that we don't voice it, we don't because like you say, when you voice those things, sometimes that can be that acknowledgment that if I say this out loud, it changes everything. And I think it's really important that we do ask ourselves that question, I think it's a great question to ask ourselves to actually get comfortable with that and ask the question, because nine times out of 10, that's where the work needs to happen. That's where the change needs to happen. And you know, change is scary. We know that, you know, going into the unknown is scary, and quite often staying in uncomfortable situations is far more comfortable for us. Until unfortunately, sometimes, but unfortunately, sometimes we're forced, it takes me back to a book I read, and it's about the iceberg. And you know, we do what we know, even if it's killing us, because we're scared of the unknown. And even if we think the unknown might be a chance to, you know, survive, often, we are quite happy on that iceberg that is potentially killing us. So, you know, it's really important to ask that question of yourself. What do you know, that you wish you didn't say, thank you for sharing that with us? I should

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 39:06

give some credit to that that actually came from Adi Ashanti is a spiritual teacher and the Zen Hindu tradition. And in one of his books, he talks about that, what do you know that you wish you didn't know? And it's from his book called the end of your world? So I just found that it was so powerful for myself, I started asking my clients

Anne Okafor: 39:30

No, absolutely. You know, I really like that I think we do. Maybe sometimes, subconsciously ask ourselves that, but then we run the other direction when we realised what we think we know is probably too skinny to address. So I think being consciously asking that question is quite a it's something I'm gonna adopt as well. I find that quite a powerful concept as well. And I'm going to take that on board. So thank you for sharing that. And I'll check out the books that you mentioned there as well. Just before we finish up and MLR could ask you to share with us maybe what you're up to Obviously tips for someone who is looking to you know, someone who's maybe kind of maybe in a similar space to me in terms of they know that this intuition based approaches is probably within them. They've kind of recognised that. And they're looking to explore it further, what would be your top three tips for a person in that situation?

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 40:20

Yeah, so my first tip would be, just get to know your intuition. Play with it, don't take it super seriously. But just notice what happens. So notice if you hear information, if you hear words or tones, or notice if you see pictures or see videos, or if dreams inform you, or if there's something that happens in your body, right when I'm walking down a path, I'm, I tend to be kinesthetic, my intuition. So if I'm walking down a path, and I come to a fork in the road, one of my hands gets hot or heavier, and that's the direction I go. So notice how you receive information. That's really my top tip. And as you do that with curiosity, then you'll begin to trust it more know, right. And so that's tip number one, get to know it, get to know your intuition how it works for you, because it's individual for each person. The second tip is start to get comfortable in uncertainty with not knowing because intuition often just gives us the next step. It doesn't actually open the whole door, and give us the whole staircase and tell us where we're gonna go at the end. So we have to be able to work like by following the breadcrumbs. And that requires a comfortability a comfort with uncertainty, and not knowing the outcome. But doing the work anyway. Yeah. Right. So that's tip number two. Tip number three is make it fun. Gosh, right, life is serious enough, you know, so put some fun and curiosity into playing with your intuition. Learn how to play with, you know, if you like visual cues, learn how to play with a tarot deck, or oracle decks. Or, if you like, stones, or rocks, play around with stones and learn about like, what properties stones have, play with your friends about it, talk to people about it, like, just give yourself permission to play with intuition and have fun with it. Because fun and curiosity and play opens our intuition. So much like we can just get so much information and learn so much. Animals play all the time to develop skills in their natural habitats. And us humans, we often put our serious world first so play, play be created. Through that way,

Anne Okafor: 42:57

I think, you know, when when I mentioned earlier on about children and that big thing kale and stuff, we, you know, we encourage children to learn through play, we encourage them to, you know, a very much at young ages, that's, you know, developing skills, like you said, and animals and, and, you know, that's how they learned. That's how they learn to know what they like. And what they don't like, is by trying different things. And I think when we get to an adult, or you know, older children age, people tell us all you must grow up, you don't do that anymore. And then we stop. And then we also stopped this big thinking that children do you know, they think without possible, you know, without the constraints of financial constraints or time constraints, you know, they want to fly to the moon, they want to do all the great big stuff. And here, you know, I mean, I know people are flying to the moon now, but we're very much, you know, on a day to day level, they're like, Yeah, that's not impossible, because we don't have the money or we don't have the time or we don't have the technology, our hands to be able to do these things. And I think, you know, play is really important. And just, you know, being curious and being, I think it's something that can probably all of us do some more of that. So, thank you so much for sharing those. What I would like to ask you know, is where can our listeners find you online, on your website and on your social media, so that they can come and find out more about this intuition based approach.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 44:16

So because I've been doing this so long, my website is really simple. It's mlo.com ilh.com. And you can read more about me, I'm an avid blogger, so I, I blog once a month, but I'm writing and sending out an email to my list three times a month, every Friday, so you can join my email list there. Of course, there's a freebie about how to use your intuition that you can download when you join my list. That's where you get the juiciest content, frankly, is on my email list because I blog with my own experiences and use teachings through that that come out on Friday. days, you can find me on Facebook. That's my primary social media. And it's my full name am Allah Dawn da W en de Toro. That's my Facebook page. And then I have an Instagram page Amala Donta Toro and a LinkedIn page for mo Adonijah. Toro, I'm just shifting my attention to go more towards LinkedIn, and less towards Instagram, I noticed that, oh, I don't know, maybe because of my age, I just like LinkedIn better. So

Anne Okafor: 45:33

I agree with you.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 45:37

And also, because these days, I work a lot with people in career transitions. And that makes a lot more sense with LinkedIn, and Instagram. So So those are the primary places you can find me and the juiciest really is my email list. But all my offerings are on the website. You can learn more about me, I have a lot of stories to tell on my blogs. And yeah, my coaching is up there and some testimonials. So that's where you can find me. I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico, in the US, although for a bit more this spring. I'm in Tucson, Arizona. So I do see people in person when I'm in Santa Fe, I have an office there. So if you happen to be in Santa Fe, you can schedule a time to see me in person. Well,

Anne Okafor: 46:23

I know there's actually one lady one of my LinkedIn connections, she's from San a thing that she had had a post on LinkedIn and said or you noticed, I'm surprised how many people I think you know, how many people she knew that new people from Santa Fe and things. And I said, I'm interviewing a lady from. So I'll be sure to share this with her. Because it's funny how you know, it's such a small world of salmon, Scotland. But now I have two people that I know that are in Santa Fe, which is you.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 46:50

Santa Fe is a small town like, like maybe 80,000 people, it has broken 100,000 people yet. So it's not uncommon that we bump into each other there. It's a small place. But it's a it's a mighty place for sure. Absolutely.

Anne Okafor: 47:04

I think yeah, she was talking about it in terms of like, what films and TV shows and things have been filmed. I think there's quite a lot as well, that goes on there. So that's, that's that's the context. That's you started out and we weren't seeing, you know, we knew and then she's like, I can't believe I know how many people from here. So excellent. Emily, thank you so much. You know, I think I could talk to you for about 10 hours on the subject is so interesting. And really, you know, there's lots lots there. So I hope our listeners will go to the links, I will include the links to your social media and your website and things in the show notes. So if you are listening, just drop below and you will be able to link directly with MLR. From the show notes there. It'll take you directly to her pages. And you can find out more about Angela and her intuition coaching approach. Thank you, Angela. You're remarkable. Really. I've enjoyed our conversation so much.

Emilah Dawn DeToro: 47:56

Thank you so much. I have enjoyed it too. And it's just a pleasure. And thank you so much for having me. And I look forward to connecting some more. Yeah, absolutely.

Anne Okafor: 48:06

We'll make sure to do that. And listeners. So thank you so much for listening in again. And whether you're bouncing back from a challenge or storming forward to the next one, the determinant a collective is here for you. Stay remarkable determinated

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