Making time for what matters with Telma Sanchez

EP007

In this episode, I spoke with Telma Sanchez. Telma is a certified, bilingual life coach, who's based in Arizona. She helps clients maximize their time so that they can be energized, and enjoy their desired life. Her specialism is towards time management, but with a focus on self-reflection and accountability . While her client base is mainly busy working parents, I think we can all learn something from the lessons that she shares in time management.


We discussed:

*The difference between awareness and judgement of our habits

*Prioritising yourself as the number one task

*The mindset of time management

*Permission to dream


Connect with Telma:

Website: Telma Sanchez (you can find the free time tools here!)
Instagram: Telma S - Life & CHP Coach (@telmasmv)
YouTube: Telma Sanchez - YouTube


 



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Transcript

https://www.rev.com/transcript-editor/shared/TZPQp5fG4xhccuu1gsT-WM-GC5nNRcZDmG1vfMPrBrVO7K5OMCZShpM-LwcH35DYCAe9B4vrFer5qRCOGeNIDdJgfCE?loadFrom=SharedLink

Intro (00:00):

Welcome to The Everyday Determinator podcast, with your host Anne Okafor, founder of The Determinator Collective. We want to help you get off that hamster wheel of life, and turn you into an Everyday Determinator, by sharing stories from our guests, who have overcome varying challenges in life, and careers. And by reviewing and signposting you to helpful resources, to start you on the journey to achieving your goals. For more information on The Determinator Collective, please visit [www.AnneOkafor.co.uk 00:00:34]. Thanks for listening Determinators.

Anne Okafor (00:50):

Hello Determinators, and welcome to The Everyday Determinator podcast. In this episode, I'm talking to Telma Sanchez, who is a bilingual life coach, who's based in Arizona. She helps clients maximize their time so that they can be energized, and to basically enjoy their desired life. And her specialism is towards time management, but with self-reflection and accountability being her bag. While her client base is mainly busy working parents, I think we can all learn something from the lessons that she will share with us today in time management, and so Hi Telma. It's great to have you here with us today on The Everyday Determinator podcast.

Telma Sanchez (01:29):

Thank you so much for having me, I'm so excited.

Anne Okafor (01:31):

You're very welcome, it's great to have you with us. I understand your journey into this time management space started, I think, when you had some change in your life when you became a parent. And you noticed that people in your circle, and in your community, were getting burnt out a little bit, because they were prioritizing everything else, apart from themselves. And obviously self-care, we forget about that. We're bad at that. We do everything else for everyone else. We're everything else, to everybody else, and we forget our about ourselves sometimes. Do you want to give us a little background about you, and your journey up until this point of coming into this time management space?

Telma Sanchez (02:13):

Yeah, absolutely. I have actually worked for corporate for quite a long time. And I have been in spaces in which time management, project management, and the timeline is really like our go-to, when it comes to getting to the goal, completing a project, releasing it. And I'm glad that this whole time in corporate has served me well. But yes, I definitely became a life coach fully after I became a parent, because that was one of the biggest changes in my life. After years and years of just being comfortable, and being on a good routine, and having a good grasp on what I'm doing, how to get there, and the moment that I met my daughter, everything changed. My priorities, my dreams, my fears. 

                And with that, came a reflection of, I'm meant to be doing more. Or I am here to protect them, and to provide for them, because I have two babies. I had one back-to-back. It was like a change, change, change, change, change, and I never really found a normal. And in the process of trying to find a new normal, is when I got deep into the self ... I have always been into self-development, but I got really deep into the life coaching, because I noticed that I wasn't the only one struggling with that. I was paying close attention how I was really close to burnout, and so was everybody else in my household. And therefore a lot of the friends that I spoke with, that I finally felt that I had to say something, because I was struggling, felt it too.

                Which is why I started concentrating, like okay, how can we get out of here? How could we start making time for ourselves, so we can better provide for our kids? How can we make sure that we're loving ourselves, so we can love better? Not just your kids, but your partner, your friends, any relationship that you're on, they're definitely going to feel the burnt-out that you are experiencing, by how you are reacting, and treating them, and the relationships that you're having. 

                I concentrated mostly on busy working parents, because that's what I can really relate. That's what really switched my ears. But yes, the time management is something that can definitely help anybody that is willing to pay attention, and become aware of how tiny little habits, good or bad, can really make a change into your everyday life.

Anne Okafor (04:42):

Yeah, I think one of the things that I really related to, that I've come across within the research for today, was that you said that time is our most valuable resource. And it's the most sought after thing. You ask anybody what they want, and everyone wants more time. But we use it so badly, and the little that we do have, if it was any other resource, if it was gold, or if it was money, we'd hold onto it a little bit more. Whereas time, we just scatter it about, and we don't really manage it in the same way a lot of the time, than what we do other resources. 

                And that was quite a useful thing, and quite an opening thing when you think about it in that way. We do need to have a better grasp on it. We don't treat our money in the same way that we treat time. And I think if we had that same management around it, people would benefit much more. And I think what you've said in there, it comes to pain points. We get to a point where, we're not doing the things that we want to do. Or we're not feeling the things that we want to feel. Why did we get to this stage in the first place?

Telma Sanchez (05:49):

Why and how we get there is a very personal journey. But the reason behind it, is because we're trying to keep up, and we're trying to put everybody in front of our needs. And the more that you put out there, the more that people are going to take, because of human nature. If you give, give, give, people are going to take, take, take. It doesn't come naturally to give. That's exactly why it's so important that you put yourself first, because nobody else is going to be able to put you first, unless you teach them how, unless you show them how. 

                And so it's a cycle that many of us jumped in, and before we know it, I don't think anybody voluntarily signs up into this cycle of more, more, more, more, more, burnt out, burnt out, survival mode. But we get there, and we don't even realize until sometimes, health lets us know. Our body, our mind, our soul has a way of communicating. Instead of staying aware of our whole body, our mind, our thoughts, our emotions, our health. How we're feeling, are you exhausted? All of those are hints telling you that something has to change. That something is not necessarily flowing correctly, and it's not necessarily serving you. 

                It can be a very, very different, different journey, and it can be a very personal journey, but the overall idea falls into the fact that you put others first, and you're not taking care of yourself. And yes, time, that's one of my most favorite quotes, because yes, time is what we want the most. If you will talk with a million people, one of their biggest pain points is going to be like, "I don't have time." "I don't have time."

                And then, when you start digging into it a little bit deeper, and you ask them, "Well, walk me through a day" sometimes they cannot even do that, because they're not aware how their time is just running away. We all have the exact same 24 hours a day, and it's exactly how you use them that is going to make you, and give you the opportunity to be more aware, and therefore the ability to manage it, to where it serves you, and your loved ones a little bit more.

Anne Okafor (07:54):

I think it's down to a choice in what we prioritize sometimes, isn't it? We quite often our go-to is, "I don't have time for that." I don't have time for exercise. I don't have time for ... Actually, if it's important to you, you do find the time. If you prioritize these things and put them in an order, and that's what you're talking about, in terms of self-reflection, and actually understanding what you do with your time currently, and the things that you need to prioritize, and actually finding time. 

                Because I think we can all find time, you know, a little bit of something we're all guilty, I think, sometimes of sitting in front of Netflix a bit too long. Or doing something that maybe doesn't really give us that fulfillment that we're looking for. But we go to these habits, because we don't feel great, because we're feeling burnt-out, so we sit in front of the telly, and binge-watch something on Netflix. Or we take a bit longer doing other things, because we don't feel great. 

                I think if we reorganize our bucket of things, and say, "This is what we want to do" and we put these things first, then actually you do have time for them, because you've reprioritized them. Is that something you have found to be true?

Telma Sanchez (09:07):

Yeah, absolutely, but I think that before you can get to priorities, another one of my favorite quotes is, "If you don't have time for it, it's because it's not a priority." And it's true, it's true. It's hard to hear, but it's true. We don't make the time for things that are not important to us. We won't make it, it won't even make her calendar. It won't ever make a presence, and it's not going to just show up out of nowhere, like an Amazon package, and say, "Here I am, because you needed me." It doesn't work that way.

                But yes, absolutely. I feel, however, that the very first thing that you really want to pay close attention to, it's how you're using your time, because that consciousness is going to raise our awareness. And that awareness is when you can actually see things for what they are, and then you can start realizing, oh my gosh, this is how I'm using my time. This is why I am so tired. A lot of people, if I ask them, "Well, how long do you sleep?" They were like, "Oh, six hours. I'm exhausted." I was like, "Yeah, you should probably sleep seven to eight. But why are you sleeping six?" And they cannot necessarily tell me why. They are just like, "Well, the kids, then dinner, then I had to clean up." And they have all these to-do things, but they don't necessarily know how long it takes them. 

                That's why I created a tiny free tool, it's on my website, but it's just to raise that awareness. It's for you to write down exactly what you do in a day. That way, you can start recognizing the patterns. Are you scrolling on Instagram for 20 minutes? Are you watching Netflix more than one episode? Are you just binge-watching? Are you cooking for 45 minutes on something that you could make on 20 minutes? 

                It's that awareness and that realization of how you're using your time, that is going to allow you to be aware, and therefore make different decisions. Now, they don't have to be drastic big decisions, because they'll never stick, they're so scary. And you're pretty much setting yourself up for a failure. Your number one step should be awareness. However, you want to write it down. In your phone, print out the freebie on my website, on any page, just write the time, and the things that you're doing. And then the next day, review those activities. What gave you energy, what didn't, what was purely a waste of time? And then start noticing in three days, what is a bad habit that you probably have? 

                I know there's a joke, and I don't know if it's where you're from, but here in the States, guys are known to stay in the bathroom forever, because that's probably where they're watching the TV, right. Especially if you're a parent, and you're a guy. I don't mean to call you out, but it's been known that's a relaxation time. But are you really relaxing? Are you really? Is that really allowing you to recharge? And if it is, great, keep it. Then it's not a bad habit. But if it's not, if it's just one more thing that you do, that is not serving you, that awareness is going to help you make the decision of, I'm going to try something new. And it can be so tiny, something that takes you 15 seconds. 

                I don't know if you guys have read the book of Tiny Habits, but it's tiny little changes that you make on your everyday life, that is going to take you to where you have a little bit more control of your time, and slowly, you're implementing these things that are actually getting you to how you want to use your time.

Anne Okafor (12:37):

Yeah and you don't have to change everything overnight. I think that's one of the important things, because I think people feel quite daunted at the fact that you think, oh well, I need to change how I'm operating. And that can be quite a daunting thing to do. But the important thing with something like this is, small changes make big differences with this sort of thing. And they come out [crosstalk 00:12:57], you can implement one small change this week, and maybe add something in next week, and slowly build it. Would you agree with that? 

Telma Sanchez (13:06):

Very small changes, like they take time. Have it take time to reestablish. Now, you just said something very interesting, because it's true. The moment that we would realize, like, "Oh my gosh, I binge-watched Netflix for three hours, this is terrible." That's not awareness. That's judgment. That's almost punishment to yourself. Now, I'm here to confess. I just binge-watched on the weekend Yellowstone, and I don't have one gram of guilt about it, because I loved it. It recharged me. I totally got into it. I must know what happened. It filled me up and my body needed it. My body needed me to just sit there, and let go of thoughts, let go of responsibilities. Just be, and in that case, it serves me right. I don't do it often. If it becomes a habit, then my house is never going to get clean. But if it's an every now and then thing, and you realize how you feel after, and you're feeling good, then it's serving you. 

Anne Okafor (14:05):

Absolutely. 

Telma Sanchez (14:06):

When you're noticing that you're not getting the stuff that you need done, awareness and judgment are two very different emotions. Awareness is going to serve you and allow you to make a choice. Judgment is going to push you back into this wall, where you feel like you must change everything at once. And the attitude, and the emotion attached to those feelings, and those thoughts are not going to serve you. And you're pretty much putting yourself up for a failure that is going to be like another cycle. Not a survival cycle, but a self-punishment one, which is worse, because it's not taking you closer to your goal, and you're just continually feeding yourself negative thoughts. 

                So awareness is the thing that you need to work on. If you find yourself judging yourself, realize that you're human, you're not alone, a lot of people do it, and therefore, now that you're aware, you can make tiny little decisions. Find little changes that you can stay consistent on, to make big important impacts. But nothing changes overnight.

Anne Okafor (15:10):

Absolutely, and I think it's about people realizing that we're not here to say, "Oh, you should never sit on Netflix and binge-watch something." Like you say, if it's served you, and it's made you feel good, and that's what you needed that day, then that is perfectly a good thing to do. And that is valid to take those choices, to give yourself that energy, or just that downtime. And that's great. It's like you say, when it becomes habitual, and you're doing it all the time, and you're not getting things done, that's when you might want to think that you become aware to make a different choice. 

                And sometimes we get into these habitual cycles, and we don't even realize we're there, until we actually look inwards, or maybe do ... Well, I know you've got the challenge, you said on your website, the three day challenge that'll help people to just identify these. Because I think sometimes we just get so stuck going through the motions, we don't even know we're doing it half the time. We know we're doing it, but we don't realize that, that's actually contributing to this vicious cycle we're in, until we actually look at it objectively from a different point of view. From that outward point of view, saying, "Oh well, you watched ... Did it make you feel good?" "No, I still feel really rubbish, and I've still got my list of stuff to do, and I've not got anything done. My house is a mess, and the cat is moaning to be fed." 

                And you've got all this sort of list of other noise going on that you need to get done. And it's not made you feel good, so then it's like, well, why do we do it? And I think then you have that conversation with yourself, I guess. Or someone like you, like a life coach, an accountability person, to understand the changes that you could make. What would you say some of those changes that we can, you know, how do we get out of this cycle? What are some of the small things that we can do, to start managing our time more efficiently? 

Telma Sanchez (16:59):

That's a great question, and I feel like time and mind are very attached together. If you have always told yourself, "I don't have time," the first thing that you have to do, is to stop saying that. And when you notice yourself saying that, just say, "I don't have time for it yet." "I don't have it on my calendar yet." And then, slowly take it out of your vocabulary, because if you're constantly saying, "Don't, don't, don't. I don't have time. I don't have time." It's like, "I don't have money." You're just calling it upon to yourself. So just don't.

                Now, we all have the to-do list, and if you're a big fan, I am too, absolutely, write it all down. But you know that you're not a superhero, and neither am I. We're human, and we all have the same 24 hours. So pick one thing. What is the one thing that you're going to really finish today? What is the one thing, that if you do finish it, it's going to help you feel like you've succeeded, like you accomplished something. For me, I have noticed that when I get the thing that I'm not wanting to do, like I just, I don't like it, I don't enjoy it, but I know it's important, if I start with that one, the moment that I finish it, I'm like, oh my God, first of all, it wasn't even that hard. Sometimes it takes me the time that I think it's going to take, sometimes it takes me longer. 

                Now I have a better idea of how to estimate, so I can time block correctly, which is a whole different theme on time management, and then, I can move on, but I'm already in a productive mindset. I've already got something done. So set up yourself for success. Tell yourself, "I'm going to have a great day. I'm going to do two important things today." Or start with one, and if the dishes are important to you, when are you going to make it? When are you going to do this? In the morning? When do you have the most energy? If it's going to require a lot of mindset, when can you concentrate into this one single task? That's another big thing that I highly, highly recommend, a single task. 

                I know that the world gives words and encourages multitasking. But your brain is not, you have a right and a left, and they have to be in connection, in order to actually function correctly. If you're trying to have the left one do many thoughts, and the right one trying to do this one thing, you're not doing it at the best of your ability, and you're going to take longer, because you're not concentrating, because you're thinking of a million things. If you single-task, and say, "For five minutes, I'm going to journal. I'm going to brain dump. Your thoughts, your to-do list, your feelings, whatever you want." That releases a lot of stress. 

                And from there, you can say, "I've been thinking a lot about a dish that I really, really want to make." All right, today, I'm going to make that dish. And that's the only thing that really matters, because then you start setting up yourself for like, oh, I can do the things that I say to myself. The moment that you start realizing that you have the capacity to keep your work to yourself, you start building a momentum and a confidence, where you start feeling that you have time for the things that matter. You are making the time for that dish, for that email that you need to write, for that conversation that you were meant to have. Whatever is being maybe, you've been procrastinating on, you've been putting it off for a while, but is still in your mind, you should probably start with that task.

Anne Okafor (20:29):

I think, I really relate to that, because I know when I do things, I'm a to-do list fan, I like writing it all down, and seeing what I've got to do. And I generally have lists for different durations. I'll maybe have just a general list of things that are in my mind, that I need to get done. And then generally every week, I'll look at those and identify what I need to do each week. And maybe then, split it down into what I need to do each day. It's quite a methodical, bit-by-bit kind of thing. 

                And that's something I've learned, it's not always been that way. But again, it's through this self-reflection of, what do you need to do? And people always say to me, "How do you manage to do everything you can?" But it's time management, and it's just breaking it down into small chunks. They often laugh at me, because instead of using a diary, what I use is like an appointment book from like the hairdresser's have. It's [inaudible 00:21:20] 15 minutes, because I have found, me, one of the things that I found when I was looking into my journey, was that sometimes if I had something in the diary for an hour, and it only took maybe half an hour, then I would just waste that other time, because I'd like, "Oh well, I don't need to do the next thing until maybe 4:00." And you would just waste that other time. 

                I actually found breaking my time down into smaller chunks, helped me to not waste such big chunks. And I still take a break, and I make sure I've got all these things in there. That was just something that I personally identified. And I think as well, you said, "Do the hard thing first." Once we do that as well, you build that momentum. But you also think, oh well, if I can do that, then maybe I can get a couple of other things done. And it really motivates you, doesn't it? 

Telma Sanchez (22:10):

Yeah.

Anne Okafor (22:11):

[crosstalk 00:22:11], there's really something to be said for having something ticked off on a to-do list, or a score through it, and you say, "All right, okay." And if you do that really difficult one, the thing that you really aren't looking forward to, then everything else almost seems easy in comparison, so you get into a bit of a roll, don't you, after that? And it does seem to motivate you into, "Right, okay well, I'll get another couple of these things off." And by that point, you've maybe done half of your list. And it's better than you were yesterday, because you've got done, you know, you had not done anything. It just makes a difference, if you find what works for you, doesn't it?

Telma Sanchez (22:46):

Oh yeah, absolutely, and you're going to find that if you're not a to-do person, and you write one, you might feel overwhelmed. Which is why you can think of it as a brain bump. I'm just letting it go, I'm releasing my brain, and then I'm going to pick one activity. Now, you referred to time blocking, which is a beautiful tool. Which means picking one task, and attaching it to the one time, like from 9:00 to 10:00, I'm going to record this podcast, and I have no distractions, no other appointments. I'm not waiting for ... It's just, you have my mind, my body, my presence, my thoughts, I'm fully here.

                Presence is going to allow you to really give yourself, and the task, your best. It's going to make you feel good when you finish it, especially if it's a hard one. You feel like "Yay!" And I swear, that mindset, that confidence, it almost buys you another hour, because you're so pumped-up, because you're just like, oh my gosh, now I can fit another one in. And it flows, and that's the momentum that you want to get to. But like I said, time blocking has to be attached to a task, because a lot of us also do, like you said, from 9:00 to 10:00, but then it takes you 30 minutes, so for the other 30 minutes you're like, "Oh well, then ..." 

                No, that's exactly when you jump to the next one, or just say, "Okay, for 20 minutes I'm going to stretch, I'm going to do something out of my comfort zone. Something that keeps the momentum going. That it keeps you going, that it keeps you motivated. And now what you learn, next time that you have to do that task, oh it's not 40 minutes, it only takes me 15 when I really concentrate. You have to pay attention on how you're using your attention, if you're really giving yourself the time, and being present with it. So yes, time blocking is a great, amazing, beautiful tool if you use it right. If you don't, then you are adding more breaks into your calendar, and then you wonder why you only got one thing done. 

Anne Okafor (24:43):

That's what I'm saying, I can really relate to that, because that's where I came from, was putting things in, and then it not taking as long, and you sit in there, and then losing momentum, and wasting the time really. But it takes a bit of uncomfortable looking at yourself, and just to understand that, because like I said, I did it, but I didn't really realize. I thought, well, I'm time blocking and I'm doing all this stuff, I'm assigning time to tasks and things. But actually, I was being quite wasteful with some of my time, because if it took less time, I was wasting that. And now I understand about myself, and I can, like you say, I'm looking at tasks. I do that with work as well. Things that you think are going to take an hour, maybe it will take 40 minutes, or 30 minutes. And then understand when I give this my full attention it takes me half an hour, you can then start using your time more efficiently in that way. 

                And actually some days, well, I'm feeling a bit off today, maybe it does need an hour, so I set aside an hour. The other side of that, you know, because we have the times where we're not feeling as great, and [inaudible 00:25:54] think it's important to recognize that, that's okay too. We don't need to be like 100 miles an hour, squeezing everything into the shortest times all the time. While that's great, and it helps us be productive and get stuff done, sometimes we need to realize that we need a bit more time. There'll be times when you don't feel that great, or maybe things aren't going ... I don't know, maybe you're having an off day or something, and you think, well actually I'm going to [crosstalk 00:26:22] an hour over that, just to give myself a little bit of space, and a little bit of grace. And then you don't feel so rushed at the other side, you know?

Telma Sanchez (26:29):

Yes, absolutely. And it goes back to awareness. You have to be aware, not only of your calendar, but of how you're feeling, of what is going on in your mind, in your body, if you're training for a half marathon. It's like goal setting. If we have this big goal, "I'm going to run a half marathon" "I'm going to write a book" it's a big goal. But like you said, you have to break it into tiny chunks, which is time blocking for writing, or time blocking for training, "I'm going for a different run." 

                But let's say that your calendar is already made, and you're fabulous at time blocking, and you just know that, "Tomorrow I have to train" or, "I have to write" because I'm chasing this big goal. Then you wake up, and you have a head cold, and your body hurts, and you cannot even think straight. You don't even know what your name is, you feel just sick. Then that awareness of, "I'm not feeling myself." 

                Then, oh my gosh, you have two choices. You start judging yourself like, "Oh my gosh, I have all these things to do. I just have to get through it. I have to ..." Or honor and respect yourself, and show yourself love and compassion, and grace, and say, "Not today. Today my body really just needs me to stay here for five more minutes, as I redo how I'm going to get through what I can get through today. How much capacity do I have? Can I take a medicine, like a pain killer, and feel better? Do I just need to drink water? 

                That awareness takes you from judging yourself and forcing yourself to go into the go, go, go, to like, "Not today. If I do it tomorrow when I'm in a different space, then it will only take me half an hour, versus if I force myself today, or I really need to get it done, then I'm going to give myself the grace and the compassion to do it as I can. I'm still going to give it my best, but my best today is not the best when I'm not sick, right? 

Anne Okafor (28:24):

No, absolutely. 

Telma Sanchez (28:25):

Stay aware of how you're talking to yourself, and how much you're pushing yourself, because then sometimes that calendar, or that agenda can really put a pressure, and even brings you anxiety, and that is not meant to be the point of time management. Time management is to ease your life, to ease your thoughts, to give you guidance, to know that a goal is not meant to be done overnight, but you can break it into small steps, to allow you for more time and space to create it. Not the opposite. 

                If it's giving you anxiety, it's not your tool, and we can find a different one that works better for you, because not everybody's into time blocking, not everybody needs to. The sticky notes give them ... it makes them dizzy, and they completely feel overwhelmed, and then when your body jumps into that flight or fight or freeze, then you're not necessarily functioning at your best capacity.

Anne Okafor (29:18):

Yeah, I think it takes a little bit of experimentation as well, to find what works for you. I went for the time blocking, because I was into the bad time blocking, so it made sense for me to shift that into good time clocking. And now it does serve me. But other people will find different method, and different ways. Some people might want to use online calendars, or you know, whatever works for you. 

                And I think that's the important thing as well, about this, it's not one size fits all with time management. It is very personal, because we all have different demands on our time, in terms of, what we need to prioritize. Parents have children that need to be looked after. And some people have caring obligations with their home or we have different demands in terms of jobs, or responsibilities, businesses, whatever. It isn't one size fits all, and I think there's lots and lots of different ways that you can do these time management exercises. There's different approaches, and it's finding something that really just works for you, your personality, and actually, the demands that you have on your life, really, isn't it?

Telma Sanchez (30:23):

Yeah, for sure. For example, I have a to-do list, and I'm not a big fan. But my to-do list changes on a daily basis. On Friday, I compile everything that I really want to get done that weekend. And I do weekends, and then I will do weekdays, because my weekends are completely different, because I don't have work, I'm fully responsible of my kids, I don't have any assistance, so it changes. As your reality changes, you need to respect your season in life, the time of your ... Who needs you in your A game? Is it just about you? Can you be selfish, and take the whole morning off? Or do you need to? Could you ask for help? 

                You have to be fully aware and give you that space to better serve. Mine, just to give you a quick idea of a few options that you could do, is Friday, I schedule and I pick my big takeaways for the weekends. My daughter is playing soccer, so making it in to practice is a big deal. I want to make it on time. I would like her to have breakfast before it, therefore, I don't necessarily have the time for a morning routine. Or I can wake up before they do, and take the time for my morning routine, which right now, I'm training, so I should probably do it. 

                I have to make all these decisions. Or I just want to stay in, on Friday night, I want to watch a movie, and I want to sleep in, because I had a long week. You can decide, but once you make that decision, it's a decision. It's still not like a commitment, you did not sign an agreement, and nobody is going to sue you. It's just a guidance for you to have like, okay, today I really want to do this.

                And sometimes you can preplan. If my kid has soccer, I'm going to put the Jersey out in the kitchen so I don't forget it, because if I wait until the last minute, I can never find anything. For some reason, it disappears, it hides, it's weird. It's just tiny little things. And then on Sunday night, or Monday morning, I take the time to be like, what are the big things that I want to accomplish this week? When am I really blocked, that I need to make sure the kids are taken care of? What do I want to eat? Because knowing what I'm going to eat for the week, do I have it in the fridge, gives me a huge peace of mind that I'm not going to be scrambling or hangry. Nobody wants to be hangry. 

Anne Okafor (32:26):

No.

Telma Sanchez (32:27):

It's just like the little things that are really important. And I don't have time to do everything in one day, I just have [inaudible 00:32:33], and then I start splitting it. Well, Wednesday, I have some time here, so I'll put it here. And then Monday comes, and I'm sick, then I adjust. And if I'm great, then perfect. And if I finish my Monday task, and I look at Tuesday, I'm just like, Ooh, I can probably knock that one off today, because my Mondays are very productive. But my Thursdays, no, not so much.

Anne Okafor (32:57):

Yeah, but I think that's part of the awareness of knowing yourself, and knowing what works for you, and your flow. And where you're at in life. At this moment, maybe you're studying, or maybe you're working and studying, or maybe you've got a new baby. So it's a bit of a question, where you are at this moment in time, and what works for your timetable. 

                Some people's timetable is, get up a little bit earlier, and do a little bit in the morning. And some people it's, I'll do a little bit on Sunday night. I like to plan on a Sunday night too, because it gives me that everything, you know, it's like where we said before, "The brain dump." It's out on the page, and I don't need to think about it. I'm not sitting and thinking on Sunday night, what do I need to do, because it's there, and it's all just ready. 

                And then I feel like on a Monday, I can be quite productive as well, because I hit the ground running, because my list is all there, and I know what I'm doing. Like you said, there's that ability to always readjust, and to be gracious with yourself, and just say, actually you don't feel like that today, or you don't feel well, or something is taking a little bit longer. And that's fine, and you can move things about. Like you said, "It's not a contract, it's just a guide and a plan of how you can achieve what you need to achieve within the week. 

                I know you offer a few different services. Would you like to give us a little bit of an overview on those, and how they would maybe help other people with this sort of-

Telma Sanchez (34:15):

Yeah, absolutely. Yes, but before we get to that, I just want to comment on what you just said-

Anne Okafor (34:15):

Yeah, of course.

Telma Sanchez (34:18):

... because I feel like we have been tiptoeing through the whole conversation. We are talking about time management, and little tiny tools for a switch, that can help you add that into your life. But before you can add into your life, you have to add to yourself. Self-care is first and foremost. You have to find time, or ask for support so you can have that ability to fill up your own cup, because if you are going to have this week, if you want to have this big goal, if you want to get through all these things, you can, as long as you're taking care of yourself, because that is super-important. It goes hand-in-hand. I just wanted to make sure that, I know we kind of said it indirectly, but I literally want to put it out there, you need to take care of yourself first, to then take care of your time, to then take care of everything else. 

                It starts with yourself. I feel better. I was like, I feel like we should probably just clarify. That's what I mean when I say that I concentrate on time management, self-reflection, and accountability, is really looking at yourself on how you're going about different things. What triggers you and puts you into a fight emotion, to where you're just not necessarily bringing out your best, or you might be reacting, versus responding. 

                I work a lot on that mindset piece of things. On where you are, and never with judgment, because this is just to improve yourself, it's to raise awareness. I really think that's the number one thing to any change, is that awareness is a gift, so you can actually start making a choice in the right direction. Time management, it comes naturally. It's a tool, it's processes, it's little tiny switches, tiny little switches, consistent, that can make you get to your life that you desire. 

                And it's accountability, because sometimes we all need that reminder. Or maybe we need that person holding a mirror to yourself, and they'll say, "Have you noticed how this is making others feel?" We forget to take a good look at the mirror, and say, "How am I showing up today?" "Well how am I making others feel?" "Or am I just thinking of myself?" It's all compiling mind, body, and soul, to where you can come up with things that work for you, to get to the life that you want. Not the life that you think you need. Not the life that everybody is expecting, you know, the life that is just providing for your family. No, it's the life that you want to live, and therefore, you're going to show up better for.

Anne Okafor (36:48):

Could you maybe give us an example of maybe a time when a client has really excelled with some of the lessons that you've given? Maybe they've taken on board this, and they've had a great success?

Telma Sanchez (36:59):

Yeah, for sure. When I say, we're busy working parents, a lot of us have that guilt of, "Well, I work and my kids need you" and so they feel like they just have to be everything for everybody. And I have helped a lot of busy working moms find time for a morning routine. One wanted to become a runner, and they're just like, "No, but I work. I have the kids. I have to do drop off. I have to ..." And then after looking at their time, we found time for her to run, and she completed a half marathon. I thought that was amazing. 

Anne Okafor (36:59):

Amazing.

Telma Sanchez (37:28):

I have helped guys that feel like they just had to provide, and kept moving up in their work, to also find a hobby for themselves, that they can share with their kids if they wanted to. So that they can allow for them to fill themselves up, so they're [inaudible 00:37:43]. Sometimes it can be as little as finding a hobby, and the time for it. And also, learning how to communicate with others. 

                Because I work so much on mindset, I have also helped a few people with the relationship with themselves, with their worth, and their relationship with money, or a scarcity mindset, and stuff. This person went from always thinking that she was never going to make enough money, to feeling brave to apply for this one position, that she thought it was the job of her life. And she got the job, and then realized, it's not the job of her life. But I'm so proud that she was able, and brave enough, to ask for what she thought she was worth, because she was in a whole different mindset. Time management is just one of the things that I concentrate on. But again, it's attached to mindset, so anything that is related to that. 

Anne Okafor (38:30):

And I think when we make-

Telma Sanchez (38:33):

And I'm also-

Anne Okafor (38:34):

... time for ourselves, we have a better relationship with ourselves, and we're able to have the space then, to grow, and to think about the things that we want, because when we're so busy on this hamster reel of just, "I need to do this, I need to do that, I need to do this," you don't have that really space to really understand, what it is you want to do, or what would be the job that you want to apply for. You don't really give yourself that space to grow, and to have that good relationship with yourself and others either really.

Telma Sanchez (39:02):

Yeah, and some people don't even give themselves the permission to have a dream. If I could challenge your audience today, I would just like to ask you to describe their dream day. If everything went perfect, if everything went great, what would you be doing? What would you be eating? What would you be wearing? How would you be moving around? How would you treat others? How would you feel? And write it all down. And then you can start getting a little closer to what can I do to get me there? But a lot of my clients get stuck without going forward. They're just like, "Wait, I mean, I already have a house." No, if you could just dream with no restrictions, and money was not a thing, and dream wildly to allow yourself to start thinking, and seeing possibilities that you forgot to give yourself permission for.

Anne Okafor (39:51):

I think we're all guilty of that. You mentioned self-care and prioritizing yourself. Can I ask, what do you do to prioritize yourself? I know you love dancing, and you said that you were training as well. Are those the types of things that you would be doing in your prioritization for Telma time? 

Telma Sanchez (40:10):

For Telma time, yeah, that's such a beautiful concept, Telma time. I have two toddlers at home, so I usually wake-up before they do, because that way, there's no reason for interruption. I go for a run, because right now, I'm trading for a half marathon, or a workout of any kind to start sweating. That allows me to then sit down and journal. 

                I'm a big believer, even though to be completely honest, I resisted it for a long time. I was like, no, no. But actually, by putting it down on paper, it has really served me well. Journaling is a big part of my morning practice. I make myself, I'm a huge fan of shakes, because I just like tasting it, I know exactly what I'm putting into my body, especially after a workout, and it makes me feel like I'm setting myself for a good, strong day, like I'm giving myself the nutrients that I really need. 

                Those are the big working-out, journaling and a big breakfast shake, because part of my journaling is gratitude. I think of three things that happened the day before, that I'm super-grateful for. Not the cliché ones of my health and my family. Of course, we're grateful for them, and I'm glad that you're accounting them. But three things that happened the day before, that you're just like, oh my God, I got to see the sunset, that was awesome. I don't really get a chance often. Or my puppy and I got to go for a run together, and this quality time with my puppy is great. It's specific things that brought joy, because the moment that you start looking for those, you start finding more, and more, and more, and start loving that. But yes, that's my Telma time. 

Anne Okafor (41:39):

Awesome, I love that. It's very similar to, I do the gratitude thing. I'm very much in the space at the moment, of resisting the journaling. But it's something that I want to do. I've been resisting it for a long time. But the more, and more I hear other people having benefited from it, then more and more. I've actually got a journal ready to start, and I'm starting in the holidays. I'm not waiting until the 1st of January. 

                I'm going to start in the holidays, and try it, and see if it works for me, because I'm a big believer about the experimentation and finding what works for you. I'm going to give it a bash and see how I get on. What's next for you, in terms of, what do you want to be doing in the next couple of years? What's your vision for Telma and your business for the next couple of years?

Telma Sanchez (42:31):

Well, for my business, I definitely want to grow my life coaching business. It's been such a joy, and it's my passion to help others. And there is something so beautiful about seeing when something clicks. Or when that awareness gets to it. And when you forgive yourself for things that really have held you back, it makes me so happy, that I'm super-passionate about it. That's definitely where I'm going on the business side of things. 

                We have a retreat coming up that I planned with a nutritional holistic coach. I teamed-up with her, so we could help women rediscover themselves, and just give themselves their time. Learn from it, and therefore they could take some tools to take home. That's in February. And then I'm going to start a group coaching session next year, and I'm super-excited about that. And obviously, I'm still a mom, I'm still Telma, so I'm still taking trips with my kiddos to see them play with the snow, or see something new, something different.

                And with the holidays, hopefully we can find some snow close by. But just creating awesome memories. Just making sure I'm making the time for what really, really matters to me. Which are those moments, where just I'm like, oh my God, this is what I live for. Especially on the holidays. We get so overwhelmed with family, and the gifts, and Santa coming, and all those things. But aside from all of that, making sure that I'm taking quality time with my loved ones.

Anne Okafor (44:00):

That sounds amazing. Could you just share maybe your top three tips? I know, I think you mentioned your first one is definitely awareness. And we spoke a lot about that. What would be your top three tips for someone who is looking to get their time management situation sorted out? What would you say to them?

Telma Sanchez (44:17):

Definitely awareness, but go at it with an open mind. Make sure that you are willing to try different things until you find what works better for you. Your body is going to tell you, your energy level is going to tell you what's working best for you. Just go at it, but stay curious, like, "I wonder if I can do this?" Don't try to do everything on your to-do list. A to-do list is a brain dump. And then you can circle, if you're such an overachiever, up to three things, that you really want to accomplish. And then if you can attach a time to it, where, "From 9:00 to 10:00, I'm going to do this." Or considering your energy level, like I'm not going to read in the morning, because it actually makes me pretty relaxed, so I read at night. And that took me a long time to realize. 

                Realize that you're going to change with your life changes. When I had kids, it was an upside down type of deal. Give yourself the grace to acknowledge that it's a faith, and you're going to get through it. And nothing urgent, like writing a to-do list and committing to a priority, is not a contract. It's still, just give yourself the compassion to realize that you're not perfect. 

                And do not multitask. Do not multitask, just don't do it. If you think that you're multitasking, and you're feeling like, oh gosh, I'm doing three things at once, I'm going to be the mean person to tell you the truth. You're not doing neither one of them at your best capacity. And it might not come to you soon. But eventually, it's going to catch up to you. Your brain is not made for that. Nobody's brain, not only yours, nobody's. That would be my top three.

Anne Okafor (45:53):

Amazing, and [crosstalk 00:45:54] there are some great tips there. Where can our guests find you, and connect with you online if they'd like to know more? I know you've mentioned your website, and you've got some free resources on there, that will actually help people to start this journey in terms of awareness. Where can they find you on your website, and on socials online, if they would like to learn more or connect?

Telma Sanchez (46:13):

Yeah absolutely. My website is TelmaSanchez.com, and that's where you can find a lot about me, and the free resources. One of them is the awareness tool, and it's a 3D challenge. You can use it as much as you want, until you feel comfortable you have a good grasp of what's serving you. And then a reflection, so you can realize where your energy is at. And then on social media, obviously my website is very business related. But my personal, if you want to see everything and anything when it has to do with me, is on Instagram @telmasmv, S M [inaudible 00:46:44], telmasmv. And I have a YouTube channel, where when I do lives, or when I interview somebody, or if I have amazing conversations, I try to add in there so people can just find them if they're interested.

Anne Okafor (46:57):

Awesome, well we will share those links in the show notes that will accompany this episode so that our listeners can be directed to them easily enough. And they can find you, and use the resources that you've got available to them. 

Telma Sanchez (47:09):

Yeah, and reach out. If you have any questions, if you're feeling stuck, reach out. Ask for help, we're here to support you, that is my passion, so don't feel like there's string attached. Just we're here to help, and so if you need the support, ask for it. 

Anne Okafor (47:27):

Awesome, that's really kind, Telma. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and your insights into time management, and how we can use this valuable resource that we all have, much more efficiently than what we maybe are doing at the moment. You are remarkable. Guys and girls, whether you're bouncing back, or storming forward, The Determinator Collective is here for you. Stay remarkable Determinators.

Outro (47:51):

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe, so you don't miss when new episodes are posted. We will continue to deliver real-life insights on overcoming challenges, practical tips and advice on becoming unstuck, with a collective of people just like you, who are every day Determinators. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and your friends. Thanks for listening Determinators.