Every time we mean to lace up those sneakers for an early morning walk, the siren call of syrup-drenched pancakes seems to steer us off course. It's Melody and Candi here, bringing you another belly-laugh-packed session of Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises, where we navigate the choppy waters of weight loss with a fork in one hand and a dumbbell in the other. Today's episode is a testament to the best-laid plans of mice, men, and your two favorite radio hosts, who can't seem to resist the gravitational pull of a loaded breakfast sandwich.
Join us as we chronicle our latest foray into the land of dieting promises, only to be hijacked by the sheer magnetism of office birthday celebrations and the undeniable allure of blueberry bread pudding (with icing, no less). We share the gritty details of our indulgent morning feasts, reflect on the peer-induced food choices, and even try to justify our actions under the guise of social obligation. If you've ever found yourself in a tug-of-war between fitness aspirations and the undeniable joy of comfort food, this episode will have you nodding along and chuckling at our all-too-familiar predicaments.
Every time we mean to lace up those sneakers for an early morning walk, the siren call of syrup-drenched pancakes seems to steer us off course. It's Melody and Candi here, bringing you another belly-laugh-packed session of Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises, where we navigate the choppy waters of weight loss with a fork in one hand and a dumbbell in the other. Today's episode is a testament to the best-laid plans of mice, men, and your two favorite radio hosts, who can't seem to resist the gravitational pull of a loaded breakfast sandwich.
Join us as we chronicle our latest foray into the land of dieting promises, only to be hijacked by the sheer magnetism of office birthday celebrations and the undeniable allure of blueberry bread pudding (with icing, no less). We share the gritty details of our indulgent morning feasts, reflect on the peer-induced food choices, and even try to justify our actions under the guise of social obligation. If you've ever found yourself in a tug-of-war between fitness aspirations and the undeniable joy of comfort food, this episode will have you nodding along and chuckling at our all-too-familiar predicaments.
0:00:00 - Melody
Hi, I'm Melody and I'm Candi, and you're listening to Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises. So, Candi, here we go again. Are we ever going to stop talking about how much we need to lose weight?
0:00:18 - Candi
No, and Melody, if we were actually thin, what would we talk about?
0:00:24 - Melody
Well, there you go. Obviously nothing, really. So let me just start with this. I had this brilliant idea about what two weeks ago now, and I text you and I say, Candi, I've got a great idea. Why not when we first get to work, before our workday starts? We'll come in a little bit early and we will start walking before we ever go on the air at 6 am.
0:00:53 - Candi
It's starting to feel a little bit better now Spring's coming. Yes, you know, it feels really nice outside in the mornings. That was a wonderful idea and I was all for that.
0:01:02 - Melody
And we've got a place where we could just basically have to keep walking in a circle, but you could do it like 10 times and it would be at least a mile or so right, and it would be enjoyable because we'd be together talking and laughing Right.
Even talking about the show, what we're going to talk about on the show and that kind of thing. Great idea, perfect. Over two weeks ago I said that and you wrote me back and you said I love it, let's do it. Yeah, all right. So here we are, two weeks later. Have we done it once? Not once? No, because instead we're ordering breakfast.
0:01:32 - Candi
Oh yeah. So y'all, just this morning we ordered and I'm not talking like just a biscuit, we ordered breakfast, and I'm talking really good sandwiches and really good sides.
0:01:46 - Melody
And let me just say we were doing this particular thing because one of our staff members has a birthday today, so we were trying to honor her. And what better way to honor anybody than you know, with a huge breakfast?
0:01:59 - Candi
Yeah, you can't honor people without food, y'all. That's just written down somewhere.
0:02:02 - Melody
At least not in our book. No, and so we did yeah, all right. So, Candi, what did you?
0:02:07 - Candi
order. I ordered a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. Doesn't sound that bad with, by the way, with shredded hash browns that were bigger than the sandwich.
0:02:18 - Melody
And as a little side note, y'all pickles on top of that sandwich.
0:02:21 - Candi
Oh, yeah, mayonnaise and pickles on there. Oh, it's so good, don't knock it until you try it. But yeah, so that would have been way more than I should have had.
0:02:29 - Melody
Right. And then I ordered their breakfast burrito, which comes with egg and cheese and sausage and bacon, too, whoa and sour cream and salsa on the side. And then that wasn't enough, so I had to order some chunky hash brown perfect name, huh. And then Wendy ordered what she wanted for her breakfast. So we all sat in here and ate our breakfast and celebrated yes, happy birthday to you, Wendy.
Yes, so we did that and we were stuffed, did we not all say I cannot eat another bite. Oh, I was sick, but that's not all, because and this shows me me, I want to tell you something because I didn't tell you this it shows you that you can kind of be forced into, even if you're trying to eat a little better or you're not going to get something else. You kind of become a little bit more apt to do it if somebody else does it. Oh, yes, so we're back in school doing what other people do. Yeah, so I was the one ordering for everybody. So I asked y'all to send me your order. Well, Candi, you sent me your order, but at the bottom of your order you said I also want what.
0:03:44 - Candi
Blueberry bread pudding with icing. Yes, oh, my word, I had to get it. I didn't want to, I knew I shouldn't have, but when I saw that on the menu I had to get it. All right.
0:03:55 - Melody
So I add blueberry bread pudding to the order for Candi, and then Wendy wants one. Well then, Wendy sees that and she goes oh, that sounds good, I want one of those. I did think that was a little heavy after you've just had a breakfast with 4,000 calories, pun intended. And so I ordered French silk pie.
0:04:20 - Candi
First of all, the person doing our order had to be like who in the world is this for?
0:04:26 - Melody
I know, because Wendy ordered a ham and Swiss cheese on rye with fried okra.
Yeah, this is for breakfast, y'all, Y'all this was 6 am this morning, so I would love to hear what the people in the kitchen that was cooking this were like. What in the world? They did good. They got it all right. They did, they did good. So here now, look, we just ate this big breakfast. We all just said we're stuffed, but not too much to not have the dessert, I know it no. So literally, Candi, we all just ate 4,000 calories. At least we should be done for the rest of the week. And then we say when we get it all done, we've done, eat every little last drop of it. We say this is it. I've got to start losing some weight.
0:05:09 - Candi
That's right, we got to start walking. What you doing tomorrow? You want to walk before breakfast or after?
0:05:15 - Melody
But here's the thing Candi will text me on the way into work in the morning and say you want me to stop by Starbucks and get us a double fry page. I know, I know, and you're going to say yes, I'm going to say yes. So that's the first part of this. The second part of this is Candi and I both have had to go to our doctors recently. I had like a yearly physical last week. You, the week before, went to your doctor and Candi, you come in and you say to me what I ain't telling y'all how much I weigh.
0:05:51 - Candi
No, I ain't telling y'all that either. But but I was the fattest I've ever been in my life, just to put it out there. I mean fattest I've ever been in my life.
0:06:02 - Melody
Well, and so was I, and I knew that my doctor was going to fuss at me.
0:06:07 - Candi
Are you morbidly obese, yet Like?
0:06:13 - Melody
y'all, yes, like y'all.
0:06:23 - Candi
Yes, my file on my doctor's thing where you can go to your little portal and see everything about yourself. Like we didn't already know, Candi says morbid yet, but I'm very obese.
0:06:36 - Melody
Well, I hate to break this to you, but you told me what you weigh and I know how tall you are.
0:06:44 - Candi
I'm morbidly obese. Yes, no, okay, see, and.
0:06:52 - Melody
I hate to tell you, but I ain't going to lay this thing out here by myself. You're going to be here with me.
0:06:58 - Candi
I'm not Okay, maybe I am justifying, but have y'all seen my 600-pound line? Like let's just break for a moment? And I'm going to say I am not in any way poking fun, because I am so big.
0:07:13 - Melody
Well, how can we poke fun?
0:07:14 - Candi
I know, it, and so I try to bring humor into it because it helps us not cry. Yes, but I'm like they're eating cheeseburgers in the bed 24/7, don't you? And I'm morbidly obese. What is?
0:07:29 - Melody
their health. Well, now I will say let just that little chart that they go by. I would have to weigh negative 100 pounds to fit that chart. I mean, for my age to weigh what I'm supposed to weigh, I would be like a toothpick oh, I just couldn't eat, and y'all that ain't happening.
0:07:48 - Candi
Oh, never, never.
0:07:49 - Melody
That's not going to happen while I'm living on this no, in this earthly state than I'm in now. Now, when I'm up there with Jesus, I'm a full expectant to be thin.
0:07:59 - Candi
Oh, please, I know.
0:08:02 - Melody
So that's the second part of this, that Candi and I are now morbidly obese. But, seriously, the chart is a little askew. Right, I'm not trying to justify completely, but the chart is askew and so are we. Yeah, so the third part of this, Candi which, I'm sorry, but I laughed till I cried and we have to tell this story. But you and your mom and your little boy went on a little trip.
0:08:30 - Candi
We did. And what happened? Tennessee. We went to Dollywood, a theme park, and I was just living it up having fun and the next thing I know Hunter looks at me and he said mommy, that woman over there looks like you look at her. So I looked and I thought certainly he's not talking about her. I mean she, nothing wrong, but she was honestly twice my size, like, like. So I thought, well, I looked around, I thought he must be talking about somebody else, like that's not. And nobody else was around and I thought I even looked at him and I said are you talking about her? I pointed at her and he said yeah, and I thought oh, wow, I know, I know, I know, I hoped it was just because she had hair like me.
0:09:22 - Melody
I don't think that's why no because she had red hair and I got blonde.
0:09:28 - Candi
But you know, I think you get to a point where you just don't believe. Like I look at myself in pictures, sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like I don't even know who you are. Like, who are you? I know, and how did you get?
0:09:39 - Melody
here. I know and you know Facebook. You don't have Facebook, but I do, and Facebook has what's called Facebook memories. And you send them to me and they first time you thought you was fat.
0:09:49 - Candi
Yes, I take the third time. I thought I was fat. I take that.
0:10:01 - Melody
Okay, here's another little section of this little problem that Candi and I have, and it's that we went to a surprise birthday party for one of our coworkers here and there was a picture taken and of our staff and I saw that picture and I was like, who is that? Like I didn't even recognize who it was. Y'all, it's out of control. It's out of control.
0:10:33 - Candi
You want to walk in the morning before after I bring in our meal. Breakfast first or after are you bringing?
0:10:36 - Melody
me meal, breakfast first or after? Are you bringing me that double frappuccino when you come in with extra -
0:10:41 - Candi
Whipped cream on top, of course.
0:10:44 - Announcer 1
Thanks for listening to the Quirks, Bumps and Bruises Podcast with Candi and Melody. If you enjoyed the show, please take a moment to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast. You can learn more at joyFM.org.
0:11:01 - Announcer 2
Try Peas and Carrots Podcast for more encouragement. Brian and Kayla share life from their piece of the vegetable patch. Expect to laugh, find common ground, and hear stories you can't wait to share. It's a podcast about doing life together, growing in Christ together, and learning to laugh no matter what comes your way. Search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts today.