Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises
Take a trip with the Morning JoyRide®️ as Melody discusses the humorous side of real issues facing families today.
Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises
Corny Jokes Will Brighten Even Your Darkest Days
Need a laugh? This episode is packed with a collection of hilarious jokes straight from The Morning JoyRide! It’s feel-good fun designed to lift your spirits and put a big smile on your face—because sometimes joy comes one punchline at a time.
Hi, I'm Melody and I'm Candy and you're listening to Quirks, bumps and Bruises. On this episode of Quirks, bumps and Bruises, we are going to have a little fun together. You know, proverbs 17.22 says this A joyful heart is good medicine. And it goes on to say but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. So we're going to try to help with any broken or crushed spirits today. Laughter is like taking a good medicine and every day we sometimes need to take that medicine.
Speaker 1:So on this episode of Quirks, mumps and Bruises, we're going to go back and have a little fun with some past corny jokes. Just regular jokes, just some things to make you laugh. We'll start with this one. You know, this morning I was looking in the mirror and you see gray hair, you see the wrinkles, you see the dimming eyes and I thought to myself they sure don't make mirrors like they used to. Well, it's melody and it's brendan. I pulled him in here because he y'all can be as corny as me and let me tell you something that takes a lot as bad as corny as the cob see what I mean, so don't let me down all right now, okay you ready for this?
Speaker 3:I'm ready. Maybe. How much does a chimney cost?
Speaker 1:how much does a chimney cost? I don't know brendan how much nothing, it's on the house oh that's worse than me, because I know our sweet joy.
Speaker 1:Fm family think I'm very corny with my jokes, but betty you got me big do you all know what you call friends that you like to eat with or go out to dinner with or have over to eat? Do you know what you call those people? Taste buds? Laughter is good for the soul, right? So let's have a little chuckle together today.
Speaker 1:There was a little boy waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store and as he waited he was approached by a man who said Son, can you tell me where the post office is? And the little boy replied Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and then turn to your right. So the man kindly thanked the little boy and said hey, I'm the new pastor in town and I'd love for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to heaven. And the little boy replied with a laugh and said seriously, you don't even know how to get to the post office. Hey y'all, it's Melody Brendan here this morning and he runs in here and he says to me I got to do you a dad joke. And I'm like well, I'm not a dad, but I guess it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3:All right, hit it, here we go. I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.
Speaker 1:Are you always that corny?
Speaker 3:About as much as on a cob.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm going to make you day today. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet Supplies? Now y'all got to admit that's funny, Brendan. Hey, what happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope?
Speaker 3:What happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope?
Speaker 1:Any ideas.
Speaker 3:I don't.
Speaker 1:They kaleidoscope. You gotta love it, melody, here along with you on the Morning Joyride, and I know passwords can just be so aggravating at times because you have to have a new one for everything and then sometimes they don't work, and you know what I'm talking about, right? But I have learned this Apparently, you can't use beef stew as a password, because it's just not stroganoff. I'll give you all a minute to think about that. So a few moments ago, we were talking about passwords for whatever you need a password for, and my dad recently told me that his password is Mickey Minnie Goofy, donald Pluto, huey, louie Dewey, dublin. And I said why in the world are you doing all that? He said because they told me my password had to contain eight characters and at least one capital Mickey Minnie Goofy, donald Pluto, huey Louie Dewey, dublin.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll stop. So here's the thing. I finally reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. Maybe this is one of those days where you need just a little extra something to smile about. Well, this is for you, because there's nothing quite like a laughing baby.
Speaker 3:Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Speaker 2:Thanks for listening to the Quirks Bumps Bruises podcast with Candy and Melody. If you enjoyed the show, please take a moment to subscribe, rate and share the podcast. You can learn more at joyfmorg.
