Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises
Take a trip with the Morning JoyRide®️ as Melody discusses the humorous side of real issues facing families today.
Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises
When the Church Hurts You: Grace, Humility, and Healing
Ever said, “the church hurt me”? In this powerful conversation, Melody and Parker Webb unpack what “church hurt” really means and why it often comes down to a few people, not the entire body of Christ. With honesty, humor, and vulnerability, they share stories of wounds, grace, and the hard but healing work of humility — reminding us not to let what people did to us keep us from what Jesus did for us.
On this episode of Quirks, Bumps and Bruises, it's Melody, along with Parker Webb, and we're going to talk about church hurt, not necessarily for a church member, but for the pastor and or his family.
Speaker 2:And I want to start, Parker, by having you listen to this One thing that I think people sometimes don't realize pastors get hurt by churches a lot. You should see my inbox and the counselor I was at. He had something that was going on. I said, man, like I'm just frustrated with the church. And I said it like man, the church has really hurt me. And he was a really wise man and he said hey, josh, write down on that sheet of paper the people who hurt you. And I wrote down six names and when I was done, I held it up and he said hey, man, I just want you to know something. There's only six names on that sheet of paper, but there's over a thousand people in your church. The church didn't hurt you. Six people in your church hurt you.
Speaker 1:He said to me Josh don't let what a few people in the church did to you keep you from what Jesus did for you. So, parker, you and I both have been in ministry positions for long periods of time and, yes, I have said it too, that the church has hurt me. That's right, but isn't that true? The church doesn't hurt us.
Speaker 3:People hurt us. That's right. That's right Because here's the deal. Those experiences are mountains, they're big.
Speaker 3:Anytime we have interaction with an individual it's personal good and bad but when you look at the whole God's church as a whole, they are people. They are people and people are going to be people. And even saved people still have a sin nature and they're going to hurt. But overarchingly, there's no place I'd rather be than with God's people. If I'm going to be with people, I want to be with God's people. Because with people I want to be with God's people Because there is an element there of when we do get together. We have God's Word that we can go to. We have Matthew that speaks about conflict and hurt and how to handle that properly as a church. So I would much rather be with God's people than with non-believers going through conflict. You're always going to have it as long as you have people. There are times, in fact.
Speaker 3:The other day I hurt Melody and the boys by something I said. I was frustrated, I could not find the coaster to put my coffee on sitting on my dresser, and I made the comment and it's always there. And it wasn't there. Always there, that is my domain. That's what I said to them my dresser and my side table, y'all can have the run of the house, just don't mess with my coaster, so I can put my. I showed anger to them and so after they left, they all were so sweet. They were looking around trying to help me find my coaster. I looked as they walked out the door and I had remembered the day before the condensation from the day before from my drink had picked up the coaster and it rolled off behind my dresser 100% my fault. So I was so overwhelmed with conviction I called him. I said Melody, put me on speaker. I want everybody in the car to hear I am so sorry what I did.
Speaker 3:I A that was way over the top to fuss about a coaster. When I could have gotten a paper towel to lay down or something, I should not have taken that out on them. Top to fuss about a coaster. When I could have gotten a paper towel to lay down or something, I should not have taken that out on them. So I think as a church, if we can approach life like that, that wait a minute. I have been on the hurting side. I've been the one that has hurt somebody before. Maybe I need to show a little grace for that person that hurt me and turn that back around.
Speaker 1:And I think sometimes it's kind of like sending the text that you don't mean at all the way the person took it. Sometimes we can say things and we don't mean it at all, like the person took it, but they did get defensive about it and hurt by it. I've done that to others, not trying to do that, it just did. That's right, and so when that does happen, the best thing is to do what you did is to admit it, apologize for it and that was that I don't do that all the time.
Speaker 3:My pride, my human, selfish pride, does not allow me to do that like I should. But that was just a moment for me where I thought you know, if I want them to show me grace for not meeting the mark sometime, or even something I didn't do, they're going to have to see from me. So, even as a pastor, I've apologized more in the last five years of being a worship pastor than I have in my entire life, because I know, if I don't, well then what are the sheep going to do? Are the sheep going to turn around? No, they'll emulate their leader.
Speaker 1:Leading by example? Yes, leading by example, and what a wonderful example you showed your children.
Speaker 3:Well, I hope so, I hope so and I hope it convicts me even more and hopefully the Lord will bring that moment to my mind the next time my testosterone builds and frustration builds, where the Lord can say, oh, don't hurt your testimony that you tried to fix back here by getting angry again. So, hopefully it'll snowball into a great routine as interaction and then carry on to the church Right. Family first, how you treat your family. Sometimes we treat our church people better than or worse.
Speaker 1:We tend to treat the ones we love the most and the worst.
Speaker 3:That's the way to put it. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because it's safe. But our churches are, they're our family, so we need to be giving them more grace than anybody else, because we are in the family of God.
Speaker 1:So pastors get hurt at times, church members get hurt at times we all have dealt with that where we have either been hurt or hurt someone else, and I can't think of a better example leading, like we just said with Parker than to show that grace. But we want.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 1:We want to have that same grace shown to us, and so we show it to others.
