The Military Trained You to Play It Safe. Here's Why That's Killing Your Future.

The military made you disciplined, structured, and mission-driven. But somewhere along the way, it may have also quietly killed the one thing that made you special in the first place — your wild bone.

In this episode, I get personal. 

I share the story of how my dad lit a fire under me with one blunt question, how chasing my now-wife Katya taught me the most important lesson about entrepreneurship, and why the same system you raised your right hand to join might be the thing holding you back from your next mission.

If you're active duty, a veteran, or a military spouse thinking about what's next — this one is for you.

What we cover:

• Why the mentality quietly kills your entrepreneurial spark
• The 4-stage "crazy" framework and how it applies to business
• Why playing it safe is the riskiest thing you can do after the military
• How to rediscover the wild bone that got you to sign up in the first place

00:00 Why This Episode
01:20 A Lesson From Dad
02:24 Naval Academy Heartbreak
06:32 Go Crazy For Love
08:14 Four Levels Of Effort
12:59 Crazy Wins In Business
14:01 Military Tames The Wild
17:34 Rediscover Your Spark
18:31 Final Thoughts And Share

Most military investors don’t struggle because they lack information.

They struggle because they’re doing it alone.

The Military Multifamily Academy (MMA) is a 14-week program designed to help service members learn commercial real estate by actually working real deals with a team.

No theory.

No guesswork.

Just execution.

If you’re ready to stop watching and start building, learn more here:

activedutypassiveincome.com/mma

Transcript

Speaker 4 0:00

Hello, hello, everybody. This is another podcast with just me, and this one I'm going to go a little bit deeper than I typically do. This one I'm going to, discuss what I believe happens to military members that kinda stifles what was so unique about them. I'm going to go over what makes us who we are as those who raise our right hand, have sworn to defend this country, and then somehow along the way, a little bit of that wild bone might be tampered. And I'm gonna explain why I think it's so important for us to rediscover that as potential future entrepreneurs. Okay? I don't know exactly what to call it, but I'll start with a story, a personal story, and I'll explain where I'm coming from as far as what it takes, okay? What it takes to get something done that is out of the ordinary. Because if you're listening to this podcast, my expectation, my assumption is that you're probably out of the ordinary, or you want something more out of life. Okay, I know that sounds very pie in the sky, but hear me out. I knew that from a very young age. I don't know what it was. I knew it maybe because I grew up in Ukraine and I traveled a bunch of different countries, before I repatriated to the United States. I knew that because I was just exposed to maybe things that I was very fortunate to be exposed to, right? here's what I'll say, is this lesson didn't come early. It came late, and it came from the most unexpected source, my dad. And I'm saying unexpected because m- even now when I talk to my dad about that, he does not remember this instance. He'll, he'll kind of acknowledge and understand that it did happen, but he does not remember this exact conversation. And so I'll just relay to you what he told me and how it impacted me and how that is now shifting I'll-- I think it was a actual ingredient to my personal successes and, and then also what I've discovered when talking to other entrepreneurs that I found this common theme there, and it's not obvious, okay? And that is... Okay, bear with me 'cause it's gonna sound funny and dumb, but you have to be crazy. So here's what I mean by that, and I'll tell you the anecdote, the story that spurred this conversation with my dad back in like, gosh, probably twenty eleven at this point. I was-- It was either twenty eleven or twenty twelve. I was either, I wanna say, going on to be a junior in the Naval Academy, potentially. And I was in, in pursuit of a companion, so to speak, I was trying to find love, and I, I wasn't really sure where to find it, to be very honest. For, maybe a lot of you that are immigrants, where you had to face culture shock, I don't know w-when it was that maybe you immigrated to the United States. I came when I was fifteen and a half, so culture shock came in many different forms for me: language, dating, relationships, whatever, right? not only like the food and stuff like that, the obvious things. And so when I was at the Naval Academy, a couple of things was happening to me, and I'll just be very vulnerable. I started losing my hair, like, right, you know, at the end of high school. And so when I-- I just wasn't, the typical, I remember when in high school, everybody had, the flippy hair and the, and there was, like, a typical look. So at the Naval Academy, I was already insecure about my looks. I was maybe shorter than most of my companions, just being very honest. And so this pursuit of somebody, a companion for love, for a relationship, was constantly on the forefront of my mind, okay? And you'll see how this relates to entrepreneurship here in a little bit. And one person that I found, was completely non-standard, out of the ordinary. And I think the reason why I was attracted to this person initially was because of our common background in language and in experience. She went to, I think for part of high school and maybe college, she went to, Russia, St. Petersburg, to be a ballerina, okay? And that was fascinating to me 'cause all of a s- while she was there for two or three years, she had incredible struggle, incredible culture shock of her own coming from I don't know, Virginia to St. Petersburg, and we-- And I was-- She was able to speak Russian, and I spoke Russian. I still speak Russian. My first language was Ukrainian. So I was able to, like, um, I was able to, like, have, just have, a deeper common bond, at least at... Initially, that's what I thought. It was like an infatuated, ooh, there's something here, right? And, push came to shove. I'm not gonna get into all the details. Anyways, it d- long story short, it didn't work out. Just leave it at that. it was a short-lived story. and I remember calling my dad And thinking, hey, or telling him, "Hey, you know, it didn't work out," whatever, whatever. And he just basically, I don't know, blew up a little bit. not in a bad way, but he just-- he paused. He told me to stop talking for a second, and was like, "Hey, where's the fire under your ass?" And I was a little bit shocked. I'd never heard my dad talking to me like that. And I was like, "What, what do you mean?" He's "Why aren't you at her front door with flowers?" And I said, "What are you talking about? I am at the Naval Academy. It's a Tuesday evening. She lives in Boston. what are we talking about?" for all of you all who may not know how the Naval Academy works, that's just not a thing. there's people that were like trying to, s- you know, sneaking out of, the yard, as we called it, our campus, um, you know, every now and then, once in a blue moon, but that wasn't something typical. that was a ballsy move to do something like that. And not to mention, school was in full throttle, and education at the Naval Academy is intense. So just leaving on a random Tuesday is just not a thing, okay? So I told my dad that, and he's "No, I don't wanna hear that." He's like, "I'm kinda..." He told me, he's like, "I'm kinda surprised. Where is the fire under your ass? Why-- if you want something, why aren't you there on the doorstep with flowers? Why don't you move mountains to make this happen?" And I think it's 'cause my dad specifically, living, having had seven kids, living a life with my amazing mom, he knew the value of having a very strong and, and solid companion. And so for him, it was a no-brainer 'cause he had that hindsight, To me, A, I didn't get it yet, but B, also, I had never heard him say that or anybody be like say something that off the wall almost. I was like, "This is bana-- What do you mean just go to Boston?" And what I-- Guys, I promise this will tie back to entrepreneur, entrepreneurship. It'll make a lot of sense here in a second. What I ended up doing is I ended up coming up with a theory because, and this was later, because I started applying that thought process. I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna go crazy." Next time, if I find somebody who I feel like has potential to be my partner, my companion, my love for life, right? Not to sound too cheesy. I'm gonna... There's no way I'm gonna lose them. I'm gonna make it happen, okay? Or there's no way I'm not gonna go so all out that I will, without a shadow of a doubt, know if we were meant to be or not to be together. And I think that's what I found myself needing a lot in life in general, is also just clarity. I wanted to go so hard in figuring something out that I had The ability to find ultimate clarity. And so I, uh, later on I, I found my now wife, right? And, she was in, in Ukraine and then studying wine in France, and I just went crazy. Like I went all out. I did-- I pulled all stops. I would go visit her. I'd piss off people at flight school just going out to visit her. I, I, went, I went crazy. I drew this incredibly detailed, sketch for like over a month for her and shipped it out. I used to be pretty damn good at drawing, all this kind of stuff. I just went all out. I went super romantic, writing letters, sending her dresses, like all the things. Talking to her parents, having my parents meet her parents via Skype. This was like before Zoom was a thing. I went all out. Now-- And it ended up working out. Now, what that helped me develop was this theory that I then started realizing, materializing and being true in business and in other ventures, sports, whatever, right? Is you have to be crazy to be extraordinary, because by definition, you don't want to be ordinary, so you can't act like everybody who's ordinary. And here's an, here's a kind of a funny example I came up with on the dating side. I was like, okay, there's almost like this spectrum, right? If you don't do enough to get the person you want, then you're probably-- or at least from the example of a guy looking for a girl, like I was like, if I wanna get the girl I want, like if I don't do enough, it's not gonna work out, right? Obviously. If I do just enough, it's gonna, it's gonna work out, but not for very long, right? Because you're, you're almost, you're bland. you, you're approaching it too maybe mechanically, you're overthinking it. It might be just a game for you, where you want to win the game, but you're not trying to, to step out, of the game. I don't know how else to say it. it's like you're just checking the boxes. Then there's level three, right? And this is where you go a little bit crazy. Just a little bit crazy. You're like going-- You're really trying hard. And what happens at this phase, and a lot of guys might relate, is you kinda get friend zoned because you're like, you're too nice, you're too good, but something's like... It, it, it's not-- It's almost borderline creepy, but not really. And so you kinda get friend zoned and it's "Oh, you're such a nice guy. it's not you, it's me," and all that kind of stuff happens, right? and then this is what I'm talking about. Then there's the, all right, you're going balls to the wall crazy. You're going all out. You're leaving no chance of regret. as Alex Hormozi says, "You work so hard that it would be unreasonable for you to fail." To the point where people will judge you Most of my friends thought I was crazy. And honestly, if you're listening to this, know that is a green flag. I just heard somebody say, I think it was Chris Williamson who was talking about how... gosh, and he was quoting somebody else, so par-pardon me for not remembering the exact quote, but it was a guy saying that he discovered he, he lived a toothless life. He never sank his teeth into life. He never forced people to kinda look at him and be like, "Holy cow, what's going on here?" He never did something that was outside of maybe the routine. So that is something that I feel like is, is-- not only does it put figuratively speaking, fire under your ass, it like actually helps you feel those chemicals boiling inside you that, that make you feel alive. Again, I know I'm sounding cheesy, but, but I will tell you, that was the most alive I ever felt was on that pursuit for Katya, who is now my wife. And I started doing that elsewhere. And I think that same type of analogy, those four stages, as long as you don't become a stage five clinger, right? Whatever movie that was from. it-- as long as you, you understand that there's stages to this stuff. You c- if you don't do enough, it's not gonna work. If you do just right, you're not gonna stand out, and it's gonna fizzle out over long term, right? like in business, they, m-I mean, that might just mean your brand is just going to be meh, and it's, and you're gonna burn out, right? And then you can do a little bit too much, but maybe not in the right ways or w- not with the right intentions, not with the n- right, not with enough depth and purpose, and then you're gonna get kinda friend zoned. I don't know what that would equate to in, in business or in real estate. but you kind of, uh, maybe, maybe you just become the person who, who like talks the talk more than you walk the walk, right? You know what I mean? And then there's, and then there's you going crazy. Then there's like you literally saying, "I don't care how close I am to failure, I'm going to keep pushing." Because you know that the exact thing that has a chance, that creates the chance of you failing makes you so vulnerable, and the other person, in relationships will see that vulnerability and appreciate it. As long as you put in enough of that vulnerability to where it doesn't look creepy or weird or friend zoney, but it's so much to where they're like, "Wow, that takes courage." that, th-that's when you start the, seeing the magic happen because a lot of people around you will start getting affected by that. Your light, like that's the Marianne Williamson quote, right? Like your light will start shining on others. You will start making an impact on others And start this chain reaction. Though that's when people say, the world will s- will start conspiring in your favor is you-- Again, you have to be a little bit crazy. You have to... You know, on our, onboarding calls at ADPi, where we bring in, I don't know, something like forty students a month at this point into our space, 'cause we have these awesome classes where we teach military members how to invest in commercial real estate. And the first call I, I take that is our week one call. We also call it our onboarding call, and I really hone in on the importance of going, like, all in and creating momentum, but creating steps in sequence that give you a chance to win. and anyway, I just-- I wanted to deliver that. I wanted to deliver that analogy. I wanted to explain to everybody what I think ultimately will help things work out in your favor if you want to get into commercial real estate, residential real estate, Airbnbs, franchising, I don't know, stock trading, whatever the case may be. The competition is so fierce that unless you get crazy, you won't stand out, and it won't make an impact for you or for others, and you-- there you risk the chance of, of burning out. And, I just think that milit- And this, th- and I'm gonna bring it back to the military now. Okay. I was talking to my COO, uh, Lauren Neely, and we both kind of interestingly enough arrived at, this similar conclusion where the crazy part, right? She said the word wild, and I love that 'cause I remember... I think there's even a book called "Wild at Heart," right? And then I, I always use the word crazy, but we meant the same thing. And I was telling her, "Hey, I was writing down notes about this type of stuff for the book I wanna write in the near future." and what we arrived at is that m- that aspect, that being a little crazy or a lot of crazy, having a wild bone in your body, is probably the same ingredient that got you to raise your right hand. And that is key because I remember having the conversation with her and thinking "Wait a second, but what is the-- what stopped some of us from being wild once we step into the military?" The sheer act of raising your right hand and getting into the military was already rite of passage, wild enough, all the things, right? But you all think about it. and let me know, I don't know, wherever you're watching or listening to this, let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree. But doesn't-- Do you-- Don't you feel like some military have lost that-- some military members, still active duty, in fact, have maybe lost that wild bone in their body? Have maybe... Are no longer uh, separated, right? The thing that made you special, the thing that made you daring and wanting to take chan-chances and have a bigger purpose might have just started to fade. And as we were talking about it, I, I remember hearing-- as me and my COO were talking about it, I started trying to rationalize why in my head. And I remembered one thing, is that when I was in flight school, when I was in the squadrons, what they would tell us is that, the NATOPS is written in blood. So the NATOPS is the manual of like how the aircraft-- everything about the aircraft, including its emergency procedures, right? Very-- Typically a very thick textbook, right? Massive. And, that's what I think is, is what kinda makes you fade into the distance sometimes or fade into the background, is that you come in and you basically are told that if you don't s-roll your socks a particular way, somebody's gonna die. And it's a double-edged sword because it's absolutely necessary for the military to teach that because not everybody's the same, and you need to have structured guidelines, processes, procedures, all the things so that you mitigate risk. Absolutely. But that mitigation of risk is what's killing the spark inside you that got you to sign up for taking on risk in the first place. And that's kinda crazy to think about. It's crazy to think that the system that you wanted to be a part of and what made you special enough to raise your right hand to join that system is the same system that's going to now quelch that inside you. And it's not because the system is bad, but that's because that's what's necessary to make the system also work. And so you can't have it out for the system. You can't be mad at the system that is the military. But what you can do is maybe step outside of the matrix and realize that is reality. That is what's happening. And in order for you to be able to be successful and maybe find your true potential and God knows how difficult military transition is just statistically, maybe what you need to do is again, step outside the matrix and r-find that spark again. Get comfortable with taking risk again. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And that's why I'm, I-I'm so passionate about what ADPi is doing because if there was a way-- what we want the education to do, particularly like h-our programs, our community, is we want it to help people st-step outside of the matrix and like rediscover that wild bone in their body. That and redis- and realize that playing it safe isn't going to win this game. And, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that makes sense all the way. it, it was-- This is-- I jumped on and I was like, I have s- a few podcasts I know I have to record, but I was like, this is on the top of my mind, and while I'm passionately stewing on this concept in my head, I wanted to deliver it on this podcast. So hopefully, or, you know, if you guys are watching this on YouTube, then that's fantastic too. But, if you guys are just discovering us, do what all the cool kids do, subscribe, whatever. But really, if you could just share. If you could share this video, this podcast, if you think it would matter something to somebody, if you think this has helped you and you think it can help somebody else, that's all I'm trying to accomplish. That's what my team really wants as a part of our mission, is to help inspire others, is to help maybe rediscover that wild bone in your body, because that's really what it takes to, to do something big and purpose-driven, during or after the military. All right, Markian Sich is out. See you guys.