Session 0021 Susan McElligott on her Clinical Approach with Clients

Second time lucky, once again we hear from published author Susan McElligott, from Carrigaline Hypnotherapy, County Cork.

Anxious, nervous, not quite sure what's the matter?

What should you expect when you consult with a Clinical Hypnotherapist? In todays podcast we get many answers to questions you've probably always wanted answered, when it comes to attending a Registered, Certified and Ethical Hypnotherapist. Susan McElligott imparts to us her vast knowledge and experience working with clients. We hear how she initially welcomes clients to her clinic and the process she follows from the start. 

From Cognitive Behavioural Therapy , Parts Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and many other therapeutic interventions employed by Susan. Focussing your mind on whats possible, whats right, rather than on what's not possible is the order of the day. Being realistic. 

Want to become an observer of your own thoughts? Hear about it on this podcast!

From working with adults who present with anxiety or other forms of anxiety to children who self harm. This podcast is jammed pack full of valuable information that empowers you to take the right steps leading to a positive beneficial outcome for you or your loved one. All on todays Professional Hypnotherapist Podcast.

Telephone: 086-877-6935

www.carrigalinehypnotherapy.com

www.viditherapy.com

facebook.com/susanmcelligott

www.susanmcelligott.com

Hi there, thanks for listening and please like this podcast where you listen to your podcasts.

The European Association of Professional Hypnotherapists is a group of like-minded hypnotherapists who are accredited professionals in their field. Many of our therapists have many many years of experience behind them which means you are probably in the best possible hands, available to you.

Why not pop on over to eaph.ie and choose the hypnotherapist that suits you. Many provide online hypnotherapy. eaph.ie

We welcome feedback on your listening experience at eaph.ie

Transcript

 00:02 - 00:13

This is the professional hypnotherapists podcast, a production of the European association of professional hypnotherapists. That's EAPH.ie

Aidan Noone

  00:24 - 01:18

From working with clients who present with anxiety to other forms of anxiety, to children who self-harm. This podcast is jam packed full of valuable information that empowers you to take the right steps leading to a positive, beneficial outcome for you or your loved one all on today's professional hypnotherapist podcast. And once again, I want to welcome back to our podcast, Susan McElligott from cork, and, Susan has a very special message for us today and in this podcast, because Susan is going to tell us about how she works with clients who may be apprehensive about consulting with a hypnotherapist. It may have a little bit of nervous or anxiety about consulting with a hypnotherapist. So Susan, very welcome back to our podcast.

Susan mcElligott

  01:20 - 01:22

Thank you, Aiden, man. It's a pleasure to be here again.

Aidan Noone

  01:23 - 01:48

Great. Now, Susan, so let's, let's start off, Susan, what, what do you do with a client or somebody who rings you up and says, look, I'm I'm I'm, having this difficulty anxiety or stress or whatever it is, what, what's your approach, maybe a deadline that so that our, our listeners members of the public, will get some benefit out of this podcast today.

Susan mcElligott

  01:50 - 02:39

Yes, Aiden, I know when people phoned me up anyway, I have the advantage of hearing their voice. So I know straight away with the tone in their voice, it's very easy to tell somebody who's nervous. They're not sure what to expect. They sometimes ask me for a technique or do you do CBT Do you do counseling But the end of the day, they don't know really what they want. They know what they don't want, which is their anxiety. but they're, they're, they're kind of, you know, fumbling around in the dark, if you like. And it's a minefield out there with all the different types of therapy that's on offer for, for people. So I, I hear it in their voice and I tried to put them, you know, their mind at ease and I explain a little bit about what I can offer them.

Susan mcElligott

  02:40 - 03:48

and then as I'm explaining there's, oh, that's exactly what it is. Or I try to let the client see that I get it where they're coming from. Obviously, I don't know, you know, I don't experience what they're experiencing, but I have an idea. you know, how like, pretend I suppose so yes, I put that mind at ease. I'd explain what they can expect when they come to see me in person in my office. I'm unfamiliar with people that are not sure about coming to a therapist and, you know, offloading or, you know, revealing, I suppose, you know, their vulnerabilities and they're not sure. So yes, I'm very mindful of that. And I do offer an online, for those people that would prefer to do is, you know, virtually, I suppose. So, so is another way that I can do this type of work. So if those people are interested, but

Aidan Noone

  03:50 - 03:50

Yeah,

Susan mcElligott

  03:50 - 03:52

So we've got to say something there,

Aidan Noone

  03:52 - 04:31

in terms of what, what should a client expect when they consult with a hypnotherapist I mean, you mentioned there, you know, you meet them, you greet them. And, and I suppose, is it a case of, you know, meeting clients where they're at and perhaps taking them, helping them to, to go or bringing them along as to where they want to be. So that is an important Susan that a client would have in their mind, what it is exactly they want to achieve in terms of their outcome, the therapeutic outcome is that important or are not,

Susan mcElligott

  04:32 - 05:14

Not really a people, most people that come to me, they ,most of them know what they don't want. They're very, very good at telling me. All of the things that they don't want to know. And I, you know, anxiety or depression, or they don't want to be on medication or, you know, they, they just say, oh, I just want to be happy. Or I just want to be relaxed. And I might say, what does that mean for you And they still can't answer, what does it mean to be happy So that's my job is to maybe bring them to that place of awareness, where they do know, what happiness looks like or feels like if you like, But yes.

Aidan Noone

  05:15 - 05:37

Is it a case of, you know, when you say, they say, well, the know what the don't want, but of course we all know that, you know, in all the, for you to think about what you don't want to think about, you have to think about it first before you don't think about it as best, You know, so it's really important in terms of how we talk to ourselves. Isn't it That the language that we use

Susan mcElligott

  05:38 - 07:02

Yes. And I think we're hard wired to expect the worst or the brain is always trying to protect us. And we're always looking at what could go wrong and it's about, you know, avoiding danger, I suppose. I don't do, you know, how could we kind of get out of the situation in, and people don't have the tools or the skills to get themselves out there. This is why they consult. You mentioned earlier, they're hypnotherapy in particular. And that's why we're, we're talking about this is how hypnotherapy differs even from counseling and psychotherapy. Now I use both in my practice, as, as a hypnotherapist, I use psychotherapy and this hundreds and hundreds of different types of psychotherapy, there, but, hypnotherapy in particular is a lot about, targeting the emotional brain. That's where the, the, how would you say that's where the problem lies in the emotional part of the brain and using, a cognitive approach, the CBT for instance, which, which I do, on its own, isn't enough, in my opinion, cognitive therapy is all about the talking and rationalizing and the logic and what I should be doing different.

Susan mcElligott

  07:03 - 08:12

And that works to a point, but when there's emotion, a turbulent emotion going on, as in panic attacks, that's quite a heightened state or, any phobias that would be quite a heightened state as web. Then this is where the therapy shines. And it's very easy for an a therapist. If they're properly trained to take the client through this process where they can, identify that energy. And I speak about energy as in all, emotion is energy in motion and when they can feel the emotion, and I'm very often, I'd say, where in your body, where you feel the emotion. I had a gentleman recently who described his hands shake, or his heart starts beating fast, or he feels you can't breathe. So in that case, he's able to, his body is able to communicate what he's feeling, but yet his cognitive brain is trying to make sense of it.

Susan mcElligott

  08:12 - 09:03

And he can't. And I, I might say, well, what's happening. I don't know. I think I'm getting a heart attack and it might take him to the A&E and might take him to have hot heart monitors and monitoring his heart. And most of my clients come back to me after being to the A&E, or to Go down the route of having many medical tests to come out with this, you know, idea that it's not, there's nothing physically wrong with me, but it feels like it's something physical. So I specialize in trauma and helping, the person who is, having one of these. It's almost like having an existential crisis where they think the whole world is falling apart and, and they're drowning in their emotion.

Aidan Noone

  09:06 - 09:33

Sorry, at what I'm getting famous was in the bigger, pardon is, you know, that the, the con the conscious mind, the mind that you and I are talking and now, or that mind, that gives verbal responses that I oftentimes, I think the conscious mind thinks what I'm getting from. It thinks that if it knows the solution to a problem, logically it won't have that problem. Is that the case

Susan mcElligott

  09:36 - 10:39

No, that's not the case. It would be the idea to it. If we could, write down what are, disempowering parts, column one column two is how is this affecting me So it could be I'm suffering with depression. I caught him three. What could I do instead I caught him for is, how am I going to feed him now, if I can implement these new beliefs or new POC process, and that's in the idea of warrant, and that looks all great on paper and try putting it into practice when you're being triggered by an extern stimulant. I, if, for instance, in the workplace, if you're working with somebody like a boss who is very controlling or domineering or patronizing, and there are the triggers are again, and that trigger, often I find that, especially when I'm doing some hypnotherapy, I could get the client to regress back to maybe age five or will be age 10.

Susan mcElligott

  10:39 - 12:03

And it could be a father figure that, you know, their boss reminds them of that used to shout at them. And they think, oh, maybe because they're 30 or 40 years old. Now, when they're in a senior position leading a team, in the corporate forums, maybe that they feel that that's ridiculous to not what happened when I was five, but the mind doesn't forget the unconscious mind or subconscious mind has no idea how old you are thinks you're fighting again, where your boss is shouting at you. So, so what I call that is that a bad Trance when you're in a bad trance, then my job is to get the client to wake up and to become aware, cognitively aware as well. But also, and I talk different peers. When I talk about energy, like the client could tell me their story and you can get stuck in the story and you can go round and round and round talking about your story, what happened to you. But as one famous doctor says, Guidewire Matay, who specializes in a Canadian doctor who specializes in trauma and addictions. And he said, it's not what happened to you. It's what happens inside of you as a result of what happened, which I find fascinating.

Aidan Noone

  12:03 - 12:03

So in other words, I

Susan mcElligott

  12:03 - 12:04

Thought about perception.

Aidan Noone

  12:05 - 12:15

Yeah. And it's, it's the, it's the brain's way are the unconscious mind's way of interpreting what happened to you Is that correct

Susan mcElligott

  12:16 - 13:25

That is correct. And how we interpret all. It depends on how, what our programs are when I speak about our programs. I mean that when we come into this world, we, we have the clean slate and then whatever we learned, I know some of which can be hereditary, certain traits, but if you're living with say a mother or a father, you know, who is depressed, you can, you know, it depends what you were subject to. as, you know, as a child growing up, you can, witness, your, your caregiver, being depressed. And you can take on some of those traits. Now, that's not to say it's written in stone. That that's the way you're going to be for the rest of your life. When people come to me, they're coming to me because they're sick of it. They want to change. They don't want to be depressed like their mother or their father. so they want a better life maybe, or they don't want to pass on to their children. Cause passions can be passed down through generations, as you know, in,

Aidan Noone

  13:25 - 13:54

So you said they want a better life, and they don't want this, but, but my question is what do they want in terms of how, how will they know that they have achieved something without necessarily having a well, maybe a visualization of it, or perhaps, a, a feeling or an awareness Or are, am I talking nonsense here, Susan Or maybe you correct me

Susan mcElligott

  13:56 - 14:51

How will they know So sometimes, what's very interesting as well. They find a lot in my work is that when the person is telling me their story, and it sounds like we're just chatting, but they're talking about, you know, they went skiing or they went swimming. I went fishing, but their father and, or they went camping or, and they just kind of sweep it by the wayside. And like, that was in the past. But I might say, what, can you remember what that felt like when you went camping or when you went fishing, what was that like for you They have to go back. And, and elicit that memory . And as I said to you before, the subconscious mind has no idea how old you are. So if I have a 40 year old in front of me who remembers going fishing at age nine, I thought it was the most peaceful thing or the most exciting thing, then what I do under hypnosis.

Susan mcElligott

  14:51 - 15:59

Yeah. I facilitate that the client going back in time, to ex re-experience that positive emotion. And I, I call that their strength. So I use that then, later on in the session, in the form of, parts therapy, parts, therapy of them. Might, I might only need maybe two or three parts depending on the presenting problem. But if the part of them that when fishing at age nine, fantastic, then I would kind of repress them back. So another How do that is I use a technique it's, it's, it's, it's actually a and it's all about unfinished business. So I use, what we call in the hypnotherapy, where I'm still bridge effect. So I get them to imagine them They're in a nice meadow , and you look ahead and you see a bridge and now your adult self is going to walk towards the branch, go over the bridge.

Susan mcElligott

  15:59 - 17:01

Now I'm doing this really slowly, and I'm incorporating all the sounds if it's birds chirping or the smell of the flowers or the grass. So I've been engaging using your linguistics and NLP and all the senses. So the sound, the smell, and that, that creates a nice, medium trancs where they're really the younger conscious mind thinks that they're actually there. And most people have that memory of cut grass anyway, or a smell of a flower, you know, or see the blue sky. And then they go back, over the bridge going back in time, as I'm giving suggestions that they're going deeper and deeper or more relaxed and, going back then to visit their nine-year-old self. When you say just an example, they're fishing and they're back there again and, and bringing up the emotions. And then I anchor them then to that positive emotion.

Susan mcElligott

  17:01 - 18:35

So what you said there earlier, in was how do they know So I'm using, the the inner world, or like it's an inside job. I often say to the client, you know, instead of looking at it externally and for happiness, you know, find even if you were only baking cakes in cookery class, when you were taking anything, if you felt proud of it. So it's not the actual event, I'm more interested in it's the actual emotion that, that event brings up within them and attached themselves to that I'm feeling proud of themselves. So this is a whole process that I do. So all of the parts then can work together. So if they come to me and say, what if it was known, maybe are I feel ostracized at work, or I feel rejected or something like that. So then my job then is to go and find the part within them that would match best to say, almost like a collaborative approach of all your parts, but I always do this as a, an internal resource for the clients. So they feed, it's not the therapist and fixing them. Cause some people say, could you just fix me And they, a lot of people have this illusion that the therapist has the magic wand. And, you know, I often joke there Aidan, and I said, I'd actually supply coming in next week. I'm all out of the magicwands, you know, this week. So for now we just,

Aidan Noone

  18:36 - 19:56

Yeah, it's very interesting that, you know, you, you, you know, you said you that we have the resources within ourselves. and so you'll go back to a, an earlier time in that person's life. And you discover, you know, that the positivity, others were good feelings, et cetera, et cetera. And so, okay, that was back then, but then the client, that person gets older, you know, and we'll say something happens then there'd big, you know, some emotional, again, it's, it's probably emotionally charged events. And it seems that from listening to you that these emotionally charged later events in this person's life, life overshadows, what happened before that, the good feelings or the good, the good teams. And it seems as though that, you know, the, the mind spreads like butter all over their whole awareness, their whole life, this, this emotionally charged event has this negative effect on the client. And you're, you're saying that you can, you can go right back to that earlier time, which was the positive time. And you can, that will have a, a positive. So almost like a collapsing on the subsequent, negative event. Am I making sense here as Susan

Susan mcElligott

  19:57 - 20:52

Yes, you are. But, you know, I don't want to oversimplify it either Aidan, because you know, bad things do happen to good people. And we have, we, we lose loved ones. we are bereaved for traumatized were, you know, overpowered with grief. And we have, you know, as I said earlier, an existential crisis now in that particular situation, and it's not a kind of a case of going back and finding that happy place, what I try to do depending again, on the age of the client, I do work with children is when, and I've come to that there fair and minute, but going back to what you said, and if I'm dealing with a grown adult, who's had an experience, tragic circumstances, I would hold the space for them. And I'd say, you never get over this, this loss and you get through it you, we get through, she won't get over it.

Susan mcElligott

  20:53 - 22:08

but, and you can move on. You can do both. And so it's, it's not about, oh, just move on and, you know, forget about it. It's about recognizing that you are resourceful recognizing that you do have a resilience . And then it's my job then to find areas in their lives where they have been resilient and, but never to negate somebody's experience, never to undermine it either. my therapy is very solution-focused, solution-focused hypnosis. and it's all about yes, honoring the person for the trauma that they've been through, but it doesn't define them. They are not the trauma. They're not what happened to them. And I deal a lot with, bereaved, clients, who've lost, loved ones. I had an lady recently who it was the first anniversary, of her aunt and she could not stop crying thinking of the day, the aunt died.

Susan mcElligott

  22:09 - 23:18

And she said, how am I going to get through this And my mom is coming, my sister's coming, my husband, we're all going to be there together to listen to the mass online, how am I going to do it I said, you know, tell me more about your aunt telling me about her. She loved, you know, the color red. She loved it. I said, wear red, when you're honoring your aunt. And she said, I never thought of that. And I said, I want you to think of her now and connect to her energy. What was she like And she started laughing straight away. She was back from cause she was back in trance back to the, the times, how long item 30, nearly 35 years. She knew her aunt think of 35 years of all the great times you've had with her and honor her, you know, make her life matter. And she thought, I never thought of it that way. So it's about, I suppose, training your brain to know what's right. You know, what, what can I do rather than what can't I do or getting stuck in a negative trends.

Aidan Noone

  23:18 - 23:47

huh. That's important in terms of what I'm hearing is that, you know, that they perspective that you have are the filters that you put on, on life in terms of, you know, you often heard the expression, your rose tinted glasses, and then, you know, it's, it's, it's how we view, what is happening to us as well. That, that has an effect on how we feel about something. Would I be writing saying that

Susan mcElligott

  23:48 - 24:25

Yeah, it's a hundred percent. I could, I did that because my own mother passed in 2014 and I choose, I always, I always emphasize the word choice. I choose to remember all the positives, what I've learned from the time I knew how long she's been in my life as a mother and not saying it was all roses in the garden, but it's my choice, what filters I use. You know, what you said there about filters is exactly what it is about. It's how you choose. And they're there in lies your, freedom

Aidan Noone

  24:26 - 25:01

Indeed and absolute. And what I'm getting as well as Susan, is that what I'm hearing is, you know, to choose or to, to have the capacity or the ability to choose is so empowering. Whereas, you know, although then choosing is somewhat debilitating and it deserves all the power that we have. But, but when you choose you have that, you know, my mind is saying you have that determination. You have that power to, actually lay out a chart, a road for you that you want.

Susan mcElligott

  25:03 - 26:10

Yes, yes. That is true. Going to be days when you're feeling down. And of course, you're going to miss your left one and wish you could just pick up the phone. And, you know, I have a few videos that I have with my mother, actually, funny enough, we talk about this now. Cause it was only last night I had, I had another look and I was laughing so much and I, what I was, I was becoming the observer of my own reaction, which I didn't even know what I'm talking about here. It's like the, on the watching at the gate of your thoughts, I was noticing myself all these years on nothing at the fund that we had. And it was a video of the two of us singing and just to look at my mother and laughing and I was making her laugh and I holding onto those precious moments because it's like, I feed off this, you know, you can feed your mind with the positive, good stuff the happy times, or you can, you can choose to go down that, you know, and, and I do, I, I do go to that place.

Susan mcElligott

  26:10 - 26:20

Gosh, I wish I could just pick up the phone and hear her voice, Not to sound sweeping it away and forgetting about it. It's about being real and it's about being human.

Aidan Noone

  26:22 - 26:43

And when we, when we refer to, let me talk about it on our mind, you know, and we, we use the terms, you know, conscious mind, unconscious or subconscious mind. And we all, of course, we know that these are just metaphors to enable us to speak about such a powerful organ that we have within.

Susan mcElligott

  26:45 - 27:49

Yes, you spoke about metaphors as when measure for us are just a very indirect way of getting to the subconscious because the subconscious it's, interesting now that the subconscious would actually get us to do things like that might not be in our best interest in, in the kind of pretense that it's doing as a favour. I mean, how many people would continue smoking if you know it logically, they know it's bad for them are overreaching are drinking too much. They know it's bad for them, but their subconscious mind thinks that, oh, well, if you smoke, you're going to be more relaxed or you need it, or you deserve it You'd be working hard all day. You deserve a fact. So that's the tricky part. And this is why metaphor is so powerful that it's the language of the subconscious mind. So you're not using a direct approach and you're not telling the client you should give, give up smoking.

Susan mcElligott

  27:50 - 28:55

You're, you're using a funny gentle, soft, indirect approach, to get them to imagine themselves as a non-smoker, some people can't imagine themselves ever achieving it. So that's where that's my job is to help them to develop that new persona. Maybe they've never known us because they might've started smoking at age 10, maybe, or 12, and they can never see themselves as anything other than a smoker. So this is why hypnosis hypnotherapy is so powerful. but the use of metaphor, I don't know if they use it another therapies, talking therapies, but this is why hypnosis and hypnotherapy I think is definitely, when I made the, I'm bais this, I think that's, it's, it's a much faster, solution and doing, you know, once in months or years of coverage, which I often come across, clients that come to me, they've been years dealing with certain issues.

Susan mcElligott

  28:55 - 30:18

And then halfway through the first session, I might say something or suggest something and to start crying. And I thought, oh, I thought I'd dealt with that. And it might've just been talking therapy, but I work, I work also with children. I mentioned that earlier, too, you children are fantastic for using the imagination. You know, our work is a lot easier, I think working with them, but I did it not with children who, and you know, who are having panic attacks, nightmares. and you know, some of them can't communicate with parents. They are, they're bottling it off. And unfortunately I've quite a few recently, who are self-harming as a very young age who are, who have suicidal ideation, young age as young as 8, 10, 12. and the parents are initially at the end of their tether. They don't know what to do, but to know where to turn on. What I generally do is I insist that their parent come and sit in the room with her child and some parents think they're dropping their child off to me and they'll collect them later. And I, I say, no, no, you can sit here

Aidan Noone

  30:19 - 30:20

Go and fix them.

Susan mcElligott

  30:20 - 31:19

Oh yes. Let me know when you're done. no, I'd say come and sit. And then I always check, first of all, I'm watching body language. I'm watching all the micro expressions as we do as the body speaks. And I see the parent's reaction to the child. Sometimes they're horrified, they're jaw dropping open because it's like they've met their child for the first time. their communication is it's like, they're not, they're not communication. The child usually feels they're not being, they're not hurt. Then they might, parents might insist, I'm listening to my child doesn't mean that they hear the child though are understand the child. So my job again, is to get that kind of mutual communication going between the parent and the child. And it's usually a very, very positive outcome. As I said before, Aiden there are no blame games when it comes to parents because I'm a parent myself and it's always a,

Aidan Noone

  31:22 - 31:59

When it comes to, you know, children And, you know, you mentioned that the parent is there. It's so important that, that people out there would know that, you know, that safeguarding is so important, particularly in any aspect of life, but more so indeed in, in, in a therapeutic environment whereby you know, we as reputable, ethical, professional hypnotherapists, you know, safeguarding is so important and we abide and adhere by all the rules and regulations. So it is important that a parent be present, isn't that correct

Susan mcElligott

  31:60 - 32:31

A hundred percent. And I often have that. I I'd say if the mother is there for instance, and there's an issue with dad, maybe dad has anger. Issues are snapping in the house. Someone I'd say, I need to see dad next week. I need to see maybe all three of them in the room, or maybe the child with the dad to see the different dynamics that's going on. But again, it's, I have to emphasize is always a very positive outcome and the problem is finding the solution of what works and we've made it.

Aidan Noone

  32:31 - 32:51

Have you ever, yeah. Have you ever come across, you know, a parent or parents who say, well, oh, you're not going to have to hypnotise my child. And that emanates from a total misunderstanding of what, of the work that hypnotherapy ethic or reputable professional hypnotherapists do. Could you comment on that from me

Susan mcElligott

  32:51 - 34:02

I think it's all in the preparation and for them as I a hypnotherapist therapist, I think it's our duty to inform a client before they even step into your office, exactly what to expect and what not to expect, from, and that this is important. So there's no surprises that, you know, hypnosis is a natural phenomenon, which we drifted and out of, all day and, our brains can function. Otherwise, otherwise it, it gets overloaded. our conscious brain can only take care of about four or five things at any one time. most of our activities and our behaviors are unconscious. This is where, you know, our operations from most of the time. So I explain it and I take, take away that kind of stigma. That's attached to it and finding is . Cause I walk a lot, but children from all age groups, men as young as four, but parents all will say to me, gosh, I nearly fell asleep myself. Or gosh, I knew already I'd sit for ties myself. So it was like two for the price of one in the room. They see what I do.

Aidan Noone

  34:02 - 34:08

And of course, just to make a comment that you mentioned there, sleep hypnosis is not sleep.

Susan mcElligott

  34:11 - 34:37

We call it a hypnotic trance or trance-like states. No, it's not, it's not the sleep of bedtime. So if you think about, when you put your head on the pillow, you never really quite remember the exact time you fell asleep or when you're coming to in the morning. It's that in between stage from being fast asleep, to being fully wide awake, that kind of nice.

Aidan Noone

  34:38 - 34:48

Yeah. Would it be true to say that it's almost like a, a sleep of the nervous system Would that be an expression that could be used Do you think

Susan mcElligott

  34:49 - 35:37

It could be used I often refer to the sympathetic nervous system that fight or flight response that high alert response, which can be quite exhausting and, without getting too technical hearing. but it's about, engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. That's, you know, we call it vague or breaking the, the vague and it's about calming ourselves right down. And I like to teach my clients all about favorite breaking all on how to in the moment, how to calm themselves right down. So might be very much skills, skills training as well. I like to leave my office even on the first session with a, how to, if this happens again, what am I that's

Aidan Noone

  35:37 - 36:08

Really important. That's really important that, you know, from the very early stages of, of, therapy with a hit, with a reputable hypnotherapist, that you are, you know, we, we, you are empowering the client. You're, you're passing on to the them part into them, knowledge, useful knowledge, useful techniques, not fly up in the sky, stuff. This is practical stuff, practical, strategies that you can employ immediately

Susan mcElligott

  36:10 - 36:53

A hundred percent. That's exactly why I often say because people they query, oh, well, how long is it going to take How many sessions I re I can't tell anybody how many sessions is going to take. But what I do say is very, if you're going for your driving lessons, you learn how to drive the car, but then you need to practice in between the lessons. I, because it's all a new behavior and now you can get in a car. If you're a seasoned driver, like I am getting a car and you could think of a hundred, one things going through your mind. I knew I have a manual car. I don't have to stop and think where's first gear, second gear. Do I need to check my mirror Do I need to look over my shoulder My subconscious mind does all that for me.

Susan mcElligott

  36:53 - 37:59

So this is about retraining the brain. And again, without getting too technical, but only I've showed the word in is neural plasticity. So it's about learning new behaviors and creating those new neural pathways in the brain. The more we get used to it, and it would be come a new person initially. So another thing I forgot to mention there is that I make MP3 recordings. And especially for children, I think parents like this idea, if I'm dealing with a young child who has nightmares and, or anxiety I will make a little recording and email it to the parent, so they can put on headphones and the child can go to sleep, listening to this hypnotic, recording with suggestions of, and it's totally personalized for the child. So I had one little boy actually, who needed to be on his own for 20 minutes for it before his mother came home from work.

Susan mcElligott

  37:60 - 39:14

So you had this key and you'd open the front door, but he had terrible panic attacks that robbers were going to come and attack him. And, but he had to do the dog is a little dark be there. So there was no way that he got comfort. no matter how much some other said your dog would protect you in fact, if a robber comes, he still wouldn't believe that the mother, he still couldn't get her to the panic attacks and the fears. It was quite a heightened state of anxiety. So the mom said, can you help him just for 20 minutes I get home. So what I did is I reframed the whole thing. I got them to connect to the energy of the dog, who he loved, and I got him to change his perception of himself. Instead of being the vulnerable person, waiting for his mom to get home and afraid of robbers. I bought him to say, you know, watch your, if your dog is delighted to see you coming, and you're going to give them a treat for being so good for guarding the house and you're going to get him some food and you're going to, and I gave him responsibility and he started looking at himself in a different way.

Aidan Noone

  39:14 - 39:15

That's important.

Susan mcElligott

  39:15 - 39:21

And it worked, it worked for him because of the feedback I got from the mother said totally different child.

Aidan Noone

  39:21 - 39:33

And in your opinion, Susan, what, in your opinion is the greatest cause of anxiety or stress for children. If there is such a thing, I'd be grateful if you would impart that to us,

Susan mcElligott

  39:35 - 40:25

The greatest cause of anxiety in amongst children And I think the, sometimes it's, they have questions. I they're not been answered. You know, they have fears and they get into their head, that this is going to happen and that's going to happen. Or maybe in the case where the parents are, you know, going through some marriage difficulties that it's their fault. And this is all their own perception, their own way of looking at things. sometimes it's parents are trying to protect their children and, you know, we won't tell them yes. in case, it upset them and children are not stupid. They can pick up, they can send, you know, and this can cause anxiety. It's lack of information. It's the fear of the unknown.

Aidan Noone

  40:25 - 40:48

I think that's, that's really important in terms of, you know, you mentioned that they have questions that the need to know the answers, and I don't need to know that, that you know, the full details, but the need to, in other words, be respected. I think, I think it's, I think that's important to respect, you know, the child's need to have an understanding, am I right in saying that

Susan mcElligott

  40:51 - 42:07

Yes, the child, they, yes, they need for understand that that's very important, but they need to know that somebody gets, I know I I've, I, I had a child in front of me and she was saying nothing. She was literally sitting them on less news and the mother was, quite anxious for her to get some help. But, she was bullied by a teacher as far as I remember, but I that's what it was. And I asked the mother, did the child get an apology And she said, well, the teacher apologized to me, but I said, it's, your daughter that's is upset. Why would the teacher just apologize to you Did she apologize to your daughter and the daughter such up in her chair He looked into my face with delight. I could see that she was thinking somebody is listening to me. and I did make it clear to the mother. It's the daughter that needs the apology. And I would insist on that. So just to be heard, that's the common denominator, Aiden, what I'm hearing a lot, is that not, not saying that the parents aren't when, meaning it's sometimes the parents themselves don't talk the skin.

Susan mcElligott

  42:09 - 42:10

They think they're doing the right thing.

Aidan Noone

  42:10 - 42:22

And it's that unheard child, you know, who grows up to be an unheard adult and maybe an anxious adult. Would you comment on that

Susan mcElligott

  42:25 - 43:02

This decision is what I said about patterns of behavior, and sometimes they can get so, despondent disillusioned with the what's the point, what's the point of they can become quiet. They can become introverted, but when that's not their, that's not their natural tendency or they just shut up and say nothing because there's no point I'm not going to be heard anyway. And that can definitely develop into a character trait and then they become resentful. They don't like who they are and it sort of taints their whole view of themselves. It changes who they are, Which is on fire.

Aidan Noone

  43:02 - 43:50

and you know, just to go back to, to what we started almost at the beginning, in terms of the, you know, the person who, who is, has anxiety or stress, or they may have what we may refer to as that something inside of us that we really can't put a finger on. And maybe it's just a generalized anxiety, something like that, you know, in terms of how do you greet someone like that, just to recap, are how do you, you know, approach or meet a person who presents themselves, with this sort of, what did we say Well, I know there's something that's not right within me. And I just can't put my finger on it.

Susan mcElligott

  43:53 - 43:55

So you're asking me, how do I greet

Aidan Noone

  43:55 - 44:03

Oh, how would you, how would you agree Would you meet somebody in the therapy here, environmental about that If I make, if that makes sense,

Susan mcElligott

  44:03 - 45:02

Usually no you see it make sense and what I do. And again, I'm using it for that for a covert way like a very, it's called a conversation, had counselors are Ericksonian hypnosis. And based on the work of Milton Erickson, the famous psychiatrist, he did a very, a very covert approach. And that's what I do. And when people come in and they're, and I'm chatting, I'm not just chatting, I'm watching their body language and how they express themselves. What, what words they're using. That's all. I like your, your, how you process your thoughts, you know, using language patterns . And I can tell them they're off. I'm not, and I might have a client saying, oh wait, but getting off topic. Now she might be talking about one of her daughters or her dog or something, but it's never off topic. Never because at the end, when I'm doing the hypnosis session, I always include the daughter or your dog now.

Susan mcElligott

  45:03 - 45:54

And then they laugh when they opened their eyes. Now, I know why you were talking about this and that. So it's a very much a holistic approach as well that I use. going back to what you said there, it would be body language. It would be the tone of voice. So how we communicate as you know, body language is huge. People use their hands, eye movement, downturn at the mouth. You can tell it, but you have to be fairly, alert to, you know, to see these were trained as hypnotherapists, I think, to, to read people. and so words are only 7% know people actually say, I'm not just listening to their words, I'm listening to the energy behind it, but the emotion behind their words.

Aidan Noone

  45:54 - 46:32

And, you know, if, if some, what would you, what little bit of advice, or maybe, maybe a short technique right now to somebody who is listening and they may have a little anxiety, are, they may have, a fear of something or are maybe they're, they're defined themselves, you know, wanting to stay inside a lot more rather because of COVID, you know, it has caused a lot of people to become, you know, housebound what a bit of advice, or is there any little bit of technique you could impart right now to them

Susan mcElligott

  46:32 - 47:45

Well, what I always think, especially during COVID and lock down is get out of the bed and make your bed. There's actually a therapist out there. I don't know who it is, but I remember hearing it get up and make your bed. If you feel depressed that stage one, just two increments, baby steps, nothing major, brush your teeth, go in and wash your face, comb your hair, you know, put on something nice. So that you're as though you're going to work something you're not, you know, kind of hanging around the house in your pajamas so that you feel, even if you have nowhere to go, just, you know, so that your environment that you're looking at, even if it's only a one room apartment, that things are tidy around you, you know, once you think in order at this thing that you can control, like just making the bed or tidying up up, it gives you that kind of a illusion , I suppose, a off, there are lots of other things as well. again, grounding yourself, you know, if you have a back garden you know, walk there first connect to the earth, which is great for grounding you and

Aidan Noone

  47:45 - 48:08

Yeah, you mentioned also Susan earlier with regard to that, your record MP3s for, clients, is that, is that something that a client or a prospective client could call you up and say, well, look, I'd like maybe a little better record, a little recording of, of relaxation. Would you, could you do that for them

Susan mcElligott

  48:09 - 48:55

I don't particularly do a general generic one. I usually do it when they're in front of me. Cause I have to get to know the person. They can get them off the internet if it's just a general relaxation therapy. I do have one, which I do send after I've met the client. or if somebody was in a bad way, for instance, and they rang me up and they couldn't come and see me, and I would mind sending them, to a link to google drive. It's a progressive relaxation with hypnotic, of, binaural beats in the background that has helped them to relax. But I prefer to do a person that used MP3, which is a pickable into them.

Aidan Noone

  48:57 - 49:05

Okay, Susan, I believe that you also have a video therapy. You can, maybe you just develop that point for me, expand it for us.

Susan mcElligott

  49:06 - 50:03

So yes, I, I offer, online or remote therapy for those people that, for reasons of, you know, geographical position, they come, come and see me in person in my office. And of course, yes, I offered online or it's called vidi therapy.com is my, is my website. If anybody's interested in booking a session that I do a full parent fee, and I have done that in the past, it's worked out really well. sometimes people like to come and see me first in my office and we get to know each other, and then they're very happy then to do the followup sessions then online that's worked out really well. so that's, that's what I can offer. Some people that, for instance, if they can't get a babysitter or they're waiting for her to come in from work or whatever, and it's great for that, I think.

Aidan Noone

  50:04 - 50:08

Great. So, how, how can we contact you Susan

Susan mcElligott

  50:09 - 50:34

So you can contact me on my website, , Carrigaline hypnotherapy.com, Vidi therapy.com, Susanmc elligott .com. I'm on Instagram. And I'm on Facebook Carrigaline hypno therapy or my mobile, 086 8 7 7 6 9 3 5.

Aidan Noone

  50:36 - 51:24

Excellent. So that's, once again, that was Susan McElligott, in cork. And, thank you so much, for today's podcast, Susan, I'm sure there's lots of benefit within, within the podcast today. And, you know, I'm sure that anyone listening to it will be feeling much better and have a better understanding of hypnotherapy and hypnosis going forward. Thank you, Susan. And thank you for listening. I do hope that you have received some benefit from today's podcast. I have been your host Aiden Noone. So please head over to EAPH .ie, and find solutions for your right there right now until next time. Bye for now