Session 0042 - Carina McEvoy Hypnotherapy, Anxiety and Effective Parenting

Website
 https://www.carinamcevoy.com

Tiktok
https://www.tiktok.com/@carina_mcevoy

Today, we are thrilled to have Carina McEvoy, a distinguished child therapist, joining us to dive deep into the fascinating world of hypnotherapy for children. Carina recently spoke at Hypno-Thoughts Live in Las Vegas, where she highlighted the transformative power of hypnotherapy, especially in harnessing children's vivid imaginations. We'll explore her journey from being an anxious child herself to becoming a beacon of hope for children struggling with anxiety, behavioural issues, and more.

Carina will share her innovative approaches, such as "lighthouse parenting," which encourages children to build resilience by overcoming challenges independently. We will also discuss her pragmatic philosophy on managing anxiety and the critical role parents play in this process.

Joining us briefly is Frankie, who shares a simple yet powerful mantra for kids: "I can do it." Together, they will discuss strategies to build confidence in children. Plus, we'll touch on contemporary issues like underage vaping and identity crises among youth, with insights on stress management through physical activity.

Carina's personal story of overcoming pain through self-hypnosis post-surgery will illustrate the practical applications of her techniques. Don't miss this insightful and heart warming episode that promises to provide valuable takeaways for parents, therapists, and anyone interested in child mental health. Stay tuned! 🎧✨

Music Used:
https://soundcloud.com/ashamaluevmusic2/my-world?in=ashamaluevmusic2/sets/piano-music

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Transcript

Aidan Noone [00:00:03]:
Well, Karina McEvoy, thank you so much for joining me today, and I'm really happy to have you with our very good friend, Frankie.

Carina McEvoy [00:00:12]:
Oh, we are so happy to be here. Aren't we, Frankie? Yeah. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:00:16]:
It's so nice

Carina McEvoy [00:00:17]:
to see you again, Aidan.

Aidan Noone [00:00:19]:
Yeah. It's a long time well, I actually saw him. The last time we met, was at the Irish Hypnotherapy Conference.

Carina McEvoy [00:00:25]:
That's it. Yeah. You

Aidan Noone [00:00:27]:
know? And we had a great conversation there.

Carina McEvoy [00:00:29]:
I do. Yeah. He does. He reminds me of you. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:00:32]:
Oh, great. Right.

Carina McEvoy [00:00:33]:
I'm excited to see you again. He is looking well. Listen to me. Yeah. He is that you're looking well.

Aidan Noone [00:00:40]:
Too. And I'm sure all our viewers and listeners out there well, the viewers will be able to see Frankie. And delighted and those who know him will be delighted to see him again and to to,

Carina McEvoy [00:00:52]:
Shy. He's shy.

Aidan Noone [00:00:54]:
Oh, he's a bit shy, is he? Okay. Well, Karina, as I say, it's lovely to have you, as a guest on the on the Professional Hypnotherapist podcast. Tell us about, you know, you've been on the podcast before, a while back. Tell us what's happened in the meantime.

Carina McEvoy [00:01:15]:
Well, Frankie and I have been working away for the last couple of years and working with children as we do, which has been fantastic. We love our work. But in the last couple of months, myself and Frankie, we developed a pain down our arm, didn't we? Yeah. Our right arm. And do you wanna tell Aidan what it was like? It was a bad pain, wasn't it? Yeah. And it was pins and needles, and and it wasn't getting any better. And I was to say my arm was the same. So we ended up going to the doctor, and then we ended up having an MRI.

Carina McEvoy [00:01:51]:
Yeah, we did. And Frankie had never had an MRI before. So you were

Aidan Noone [00:01:52]:
a little

Carina McEvoy [00:01:52]:
bit nervous before you went in, but we had a chat about it. And so we discovered it's so funny, Aidan, both of us, both of us. We had 3 prolapsed discs in our necks, and our necks were were curved. And we had no spinal fluid between our, spinal cord and our No.

Aidan Noone [00:02:16]:
But say that again. No?

Carina McEvoy [00:02:18]:
No spinal fluid.

Aidan Noone [00:02:20]:
Oh, cerebral spinal fluid. Yes.

Carina McEvoy [00:02:23]:
Yes. Yeah. He wants me to tell you, we had the beginning of something called myelopathy, which is where your spinal cord is being damaged. So we were both losing the use of our arm. And if it had not have been discovered because I actually thought for the last few years, I thought that I, had I was developing arthritis in my hands because we were finding it hard to use our hands, weren't we? Yeah. And, I thought it was arthritis, but it was myelopathy, this degenerative disease, I suppose. And only for the prolapsed discs, it would never have been diagnosed. I would never have known.

Carina McEvoy [00:03:04]:
And we would have lost use of our arm and everything. So it was a blessing in disguise. So we went then and had surgery. We had 2 of our discs out. You as well. It's so funny. Yeah. He had 2 as well, didn't you? And then we had them replaced with cages and her neck straightened.

Carina McEvoy [00:03:25]:
Yeah. The spine straightened in her neck. And, yeah, we are 3 weeks post surgery now.

Aidan Noone [00:03:32]:
Well, both of you are are are wonders. I don't know how you managed to to do this. But we had a telephone brief telephone conversation, you and I. And, you know, the the the message I got from you was that, you know, using the power of your mind and the positivity. But more specifically, I suppose, it's using the tools of, hypnotherapy and indeed NLP. So tell us about that.

Carina McEvoy [00:04:05]:
Absolutely. So even when we had the pain, and I can really compare this to back in 2010. Frankie, you weren't born then. No? But back in 2010, I also had a prolapsed disc in the bottom of my back. And I had to have, a discectomy, which is the disc is paired. And so it was a much lesser operation. And but still, it was still a kind of a, you know, a fairly you know, I went through the ringer. You weren't here.

Carina McEvoy [00:04:37]:
No, you weren't here. But to compare both, there's just an unbelievable difference in how I got through both surgeries with a different mindset. So back in 2010, I was absolutely off my head on pain medication. Couldn't get out of bed. I was eating loads. I was just my mindset was I wouldn't say overly negative, but it wasn't positive either. I was just really taking in that, oh, yeah. I'm I'm, you know, in pain and this is terrible and just off my head on painkillers.

Carina McEvoy [00:05:15]:
But this time around, I got off painkillers within maybe 9 days. I came off the painkillers. My mindset was completely different that I can I can, you know, really, pull up with the pain? I can deal with the pain. I've got a really high pain threshold. And, you know, the pain is okay. Even this time around, when I had the now don't get me wrong. The pain was severe and everything. But I really programmed myself that I have such a high pain threshold.

Carina McEvoy [00:05:47]:
I am able to deal with this pain until I get to surgery. So I wasn't really on painkillers. It was more so, my own self belief that I could deal with it. When it got bad, maybe a little bit of self hypnosis, the odd Panadol, and that was it. And the recovery is so different as well. So different.

Aidan Noone [00:06:09]:
That's that's wonderful. And, obviously, it it was you know, you you you utilized or used the the skills that you have yourself, that the skills that you would impart to your many clients.

Carina McEvoy [00:06:24]:
Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:06:24]:
So this helped you. So this is, you know, proof in action as it were. You know, we we have verifiable proof that, the skills of hypnotherapy and, indeed, NLP, can be hugely beneficial, to us.

Carina McEvoy [00:06:42]:
Absolutely. Even before I went in, people couldn't understand how I was up and about and, you know, go you know, working every day, going into work every day, driving around. Couldn't understand it. But I just was like, no. I can actually deal with this. I can deal with it. And I think telling myself for years about the high pain threshold is it was that's that was vital. And my 2 children now, I can hear them saying the same.

Carina McEvoy [00:07:09]:
They'd say, mom, I think I got that off you, that, you know, the high pain threshold. And I'm like, oh, god. You did. Yeah. And don't get me wrong. I I wasn't a martyr or anything like that. You know, I I still looked after myself and all of that. But approaching everything, approaching the MRI.

Carina McEvoy [00:07:27]:
Because the last time I didn't like the MRI, even going into it, I was quite nervous. I was saying, oh, I'm quite claustrophobic. You know, I actually told myself I am claustrophobic going into the MRI. You know, the MRI machines where you go into them. And, you know, before I was like, I don't like this. I'm claustrophobic. I'm going to panic. And you know what happens then? You are scared when you're in it.

Carina McEvoy [00:07:53]:
So this time around, I was like, you know, I'm absolutely fine with them. It's only for a few minutes. I can completely deal with it. I'm really strong in my mind. I went in and as soon as I lay on it and the word gliding me in, I kind of went into a little bit of self hypnosis and a little self hypnosis trick. And it flew by and we were fine. And then coming up to the surgery, you know, people were asking me, you know, are are you nervous? Are you nervous about the surgery now? And no. Not at all.

Carina McEvoy [00:08:23]:
What's there to be nervous about? I had an I have an amazing consultant, doctor Catherine Morne, in the Hermitage. I'm lucky to have, health insurance. So not a bit nervous at all. She explained everything really well. Even the morning of the surgery, went in, chilled out to the last, even having my bloods taken. The doctors couldn't understand the nurses couldn't understand how I was so calm and, woke up from the surgery. Now the anesthetic I'm still a bit shaky from the anesthetic. And you're you're a bit shaky.

Carina McEvoy [00:08:59]:
Are you? No. You're not shaky. I'm a bit shaky from the anaesthetic still. But, you know, waking up, instantly waking up without pain. Did you find that? Did you wake up without pain? Yeah. And it was just instant relief when I woke up. It was amazing. And, you know, in the recovery ward, when I woke up, sure, I loved everybody.

Carina McEvoy [00:09:20]:
I loved all the nurses. I was going to bring them all home with me and were wheeling out wheeling me out of the ward, weren't they? And I was I love you. Goodbye. Goodbye. And, yeah, I was home the next day and put on pretty major painkillers, and so were you. And we got through the first few days on the painkillers just kind of sleeping. But then I started to feel quite, you know, clammy and a little bit sick. So when I got the staples, the nurse said, you know, that could be the painkillers if you're not used to taking painkillers because I don't you know, I would use hypnosis or something like that rather than take painkillers.

Carina McEvoy [00:10:01]:
So I actually said, you know what? Then I'm gonna go off them. And I did. I went off the major painkillers and just stayed on paracetamol. And, then I went off them. And we're on nothing now, aren't we not? No. And, yeah, so it's we're 3 weeks later. We are oh my gosh. We're just busy socializing.

Carina McEvoy [00:10:25]:
Lots of reading. Like, we're very much enjoying our time off work, aren't we? Yeah. Even though we do miss our children, don't we? But we are enjoying it. You know, doing pottering around the house, Aidan, doing little bits like sweeping. I can't get anything heavy, and I'm not going to jeopardize the work. I respect the work the surgeon has done. So, can't do much housework. But, you know, just pottering around the house and back driving as well, little drives.

Carina McEvoy [00:10:54]:
And, yeah. So, yeah, we're just kind of flying it, aren't we? And even our scar I don't know if you can see, the scar there. I knew I would have a scar. And even at that, you know, I'm not I'm okay about that. And even, like, that's, you know, 3 weeks post. So it's it's it's kind of okay. And you can see oh, he wants he wants to show you his. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:11:18]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:11:18]:
We have

Aidan Noone [00:11:19]:
see Frankie's. Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:11:21]:
Yeah. Yeah. And it's okay. Like, it's it's, you know, it's not Thor or anything. And I just I in my mind, I just have this record playing that, you know, it'll heal. It'll be fine. You know? It'll it'll be absolutely fine. And, you know, so we're

Aidan Noone [00:11:37]:
The quality the quality of your self talk, helps as well.

Carina McEvoy [00:11:41]:
It really, really helps.

Aidan Noone [00:11:44]:
But tell us, how Frankie has helped you.

Carina McEvoy [00:11:48]:
Well, Frankie's really, really helped me, haven't you? Because, it's nice to go through this, I suppose, with somebody who kind of gets what it's like. Because, you know, for anyone doing something, if if you don't really know what's happening and I guess I had you too, didn't I? If we don't really know what's happening, it's it is nice to to have someone to talk to. Yeah. He reminded me of certain skills, and I reminded him of certain skills and, self talk going in. So it was great, wasn't it? And then together, what we decided to do was, we we started a TikTok. We're just kinda messing around with it, and our our thought is if there's any one child out there that we can reach, that's brilliant. So we decided, you know, gosh. You know what? There's lots of children out there who maybe have to have an x-ray or an MRI because we had to have x rays too, didn't we? Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:12:45]:
Or blood tests or, you know, injections, go to the doctor, go to the hospital. And, you know, when you're a tiny bit younger because Frankie's only 7, and you were a bit nervous because it was his first time doing some of these things. So he'd be going he was a bit like that. So thinking if there's any children out there, maybe we could tell tell them how we got on, what it was like, and how we coped with it, how we dealt with it, you know, in a positive way.

Aidan Noone [00:13:11]:
Great. Great. He's it seems to me that both of you support each other.

Carina McEvoy [00:13:17]:
Oh, we do. Yeah. Oh, I don't know what I would do without him. Yeah. No. He's brilliant. He's he's a great father, Jeff. Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:13:26]:
Yeah. Yeah. I love

Aidan Noone [00:13:30]:
Corina, in your work, you know, you you you work specifically with children. Mhmm. Tell us tell us about that. Tell us in other words, tell us, tell our listeners or of yours, you know, who is your target audience? Who do you work with specifically?

Carina McEvoy [00:13:50]:
Well, we work with children, teens, and their parents. So the parents are actually quite important. So even though we would work a lot with children, and teenagers, the parents are very important in our work as well, aren't they? Yeah. And sometimes we would have parents in our office and, oh, you do love annoying the dads. He does. He love annoying the dads. Yeah. And we would be using the the parents as props or whatever as well.

Carina McEvoy [00:14:18]:
Yeah. And I suppose when you're working with young children as well, If the parent the parent may or may not be in the room, depending. All depends on the on the case. But when the parent is in the room, you're kind of doing a dual session. You're working on the child, but you're also working on the parent as well, aren't you? Yes. Exactly. But sometimes it's maybe the parent that probably, needs the session a little bit more. Isn't that right? Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:14:50]:
Yeah. But we love our work, don't we? You absolutely love it. And Frankie's a big hit.

Aidan Noone [00:14:56]:
I'm sure. I'm sure. Now, you know, nowadays, we hear all that's happening in the world and, you know, the pressures of school, the pressures of young people. We hear about all this vaping that's going on with with young, specifically with young young young young young adults, you know, even younger than teens who are doing this vaping. What's your take on all of this, Carina?

Carina McEvoy [00:15:28]:
Well, I kinda have 2 takes on it. Yeah. So children are actually going through the identity crisis younger this day and age, I feel. Their their hormones are kicking in much younger, and they are facing, the identity crisis that maybe, you know, 30, 40 years ago, people didn't really face, so they maybe hit 13, 14. Whereas now it is starting around 11, 12. And everything is starting a little bit younger. So on one hand, it's very, very normal for children to go through that phase of being curious. I have, like, my my own daughter and my niece have started 1st year this year in school, and so we know what you're talking about.

Carina McEvoy [00:16:20]:
They walk past plenty of people vaping, but they are, and a lot of young people there are young people vaping, but, Aidan, there are a lot of young people who are so anti vaping and anti smoking also. But it is a very curious thing that children go into, or preteens go into. It's part of the identity crisis. They're trying to fit in. They're trying to fit into this group, into that group and see what you know, where do they fit in. So on one hand, it is very, very normal. But on the other hand, it is sometimes it can be a sign of if it's not, say, a normal curiosity, it can be a sign of an unhealthy coping mechanism for something going on. And a lot of what's going on for young people this day and age is they are stressed.

Carina McEvoy [00:17:10]:
They are stressed and they're anxious. They're under a lot of, they're under a lot of pressure. They have very little free time. And the free time they do have is taken up with, like, indoor activities and stationary activities, like tablets and gaming and, you know, that kind of activity. Whereas stress is stress can be controlled a lot through movement. You know? Getting out and about and moving. You know? So, we are big fans of getting out there and just moving and dealing with the stress that way, aren't we? Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:17:52]:
And that sort of brings us on to dovetails with, you know, the whole area of mental, emotional health for of the young person. And, you know, I'm sure there are there will be parents out there who are watching this, aunts and uncles or whatever who are watching this. What what little bit of advice would you impart to them? And maybe maybe I'd actually get Frankie's opinion on this as well.

Carina McEvoy [00:18:24]:
The lighthouse parenting. Wow. Well, through the ages, that's really good. No. I will bring now. Through the ages, we've heard of all these different parenting styles. So helicopter parenting, lawnmower parenting, where parents will go ahead and mow down all the obstacles so children don't have to face any difficulties. But, there's a new term now, the lighthouse parent.

Carina McEvoy [00:18:47]:
And it is basically what we talk about a lot in work and what we would encourage and steer parents towards. And that's basically where you are the strong beacon of light in a child's life. That you are there to shine a light and to guide, but you're not going to do everything for them. And I really think that that's kind of, you know, what children really need this day and age. Because what I find is that children are, lacking problem solving skills, resilience. And that can be down to, the stress that parents are under. Parents are under so much stress paying mortgages, paying off for cars, paying for childcare. Both parents have to work leads to a lot of parental guilt.

Carina McEvoy [00:19:37]:
And life is busy. So sometimes it's easier to tie the child's shoelaces. Sometimes it's easier to get their drinks. Sometimes it's easier to rush in and solve the problems. Excuse me. Fardom. Yeah. I'm okay.

Carina McEvoy [00:19:51]:
Thank you. And within that, children are losing their own ability, to solve their own problems and their own self belief that they can do it as well, which leads to this anxiety. Because anxiety is really boils down to something terrible might happen and I won't be able to deal with it. That's really what anxiety is when we come to the, you know, the child. And it's always something, say, future based. So my advice would be to, you know, actually push the child a little bit more into building resilience. You know, stepping back from that term, I suppose. Did you ever hear that term mollycoddling? I would ask my mom, you're a molly coddler.

Carina McEvoy [00:20:39]:
You're a mollycoddler. And let the child kind of figure things out for themselves, you know. And so what's happening for the child when they begin to do that is they begin to build a sense of belief in themselves and capability, self capability, resilience, independence. And that can be from, you know, living things like doing chores around the house. Or do you know what is a skill is so important to teach children? And a lot of children, don't really have this skill, do they? Did you have this skill when you come to me? No. No. It's making decisions. No.

Carina McEvoy [00:21:19]:
Even simply making decisions. Making decision is is, a really important life skill, and a lot of people, I don't know. And sometimes you're just so sweet. It's kind of like, no. Whatever you want. But making a decision is such an important life skill. And be able to teach the child to do that. Coming up with their you know, children, they don't what children really need from an adult or from a parent is is the ears.

Carina McEvoy [00:21:49]:
It's the listening. It's to have a soundboard, to be able to talk through a problem and to be able to figure out the problem in your own head. Did you ever talk to someone about problemating? And that's right, Frankie. While you're talking through the problem, you're actually figuring it out in your head, and you come up with the answer. Whereas parents who are very well meaning and full of love and care and all of that, what they will do is they will go off in their own head. No. I'm just showing it in my eyes. So they'll go off in their own head.

Carina McEvoy [00:22:23]:
So when you do that, you're losing contact with the child and you're losing that connection. And parents will be like, well, maybe I'll ring the teacher now and talk to her about that. And they're gone off in their own head to figure out what they're going to do about that issue. Whereas what children really need is just to talk out, have someone there to listen. And then maybe if they're stuck, have someone suggest a few, you know, solutions. What really encourage the child to use their their own brain and mind to come up with solutions because children and I this is proven to be time and time again. Children have their own solutions, and they come up with them so easy. They're just sometimes not given the the chance to come to them, you know, because they're I don't know, maybe seen as younger.

Carina McEvoy [00:23:14]:
You know? But they're amazing what they can come up with. So

Aidan Noone [00:23:18]:
what I'm hearing from you is it's it's like trying to strike a balance, you know, you know, giving the child the freedom, but at the same time, not necessarily directing too much. Am I am I correct in that?

Carina McEvoy [00:23:33]:
Yeah. You just said it. It's kind of like parenting is like a dancing. Sometimes you

Aidan Noone [00:23:38]:
Okay.

Carina McEvoy [00:23:39]:
Lead. You lead the dance, and then sometimes you follow. So some and then I I I suppose the balancing act is, I suppose, for the parent to know when to bump in, when to leave, and then when to let the child. Like, my sister has a 1 year old and he's won this month, and she's amazing with him. She's really amazing with him. And I see her, and he he's just he's, started walking, and he he could be climbing up on a chair. And instead of her saying, get down. Get down.

Carina McEvoy [00:24:19]:
That's dangerous. Get down. She'll probably say something like, now watch where you put that step or watch where you put your foot, you know, and she'll be with him. So she let him do it. And in the sense of I've done it. I've done it. Without kind of instilling a sense of fear or you can't do this or you can't do that. And I think that's amazing.

Carina McEvoy [00:24:41]:
Like, she sent me a video yesterday, and he was climbing up the stairs. And he was climbing up the stairs and he'd go 3 steps and he'd turn and he'd look at her and he'd smile and laugh and then he'd go again. And she was just behind me letting Sophie fell, and she was there. No. She said I'm gonna have to get a stair gate. So, you know, if I'm cooking dinner or whatever. Well, I think that's fantastic because children, they do need, you know, that kind of wrist play, and they do need to get their hands dirty and discover the world. But then you're right, Aidan.

Carina McEvoy [00:25:16]:
It's that balance that they do have that safe haven to come back to. Or if they go out into the world to explore something and they're not quite sure that they have that safe haven and the parent come back to to, you know, check-in with.

Aidan Noone [00:25:31]:
Yeah. It's sort of like an accompaniment, you know, that you're accompanying the child and being there, you know, to be that, I suppose, give the support when necessary. Would that be correct?

Carina McEvoy [00:25:46]:
Absolutely. That's so so good. So Frankie reminded me of that old saying, you are teaching the child no. You're, what was it, Frankie? Yeah. You are I didn't quite get that, Frankie. No. You're basically, it's the saying you'll probably know it, Aidan, where you are, teaching the child to walk the road, basically, rather than changing the rope for the child. You know that saying? I can walk Yes.

Aidan Noone [00:26:17]:
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I

Carina McEvoy [00:26:19]:
can't quite understand what you're saying.

Aidan Noone [00:26:20]:
No. No. I I I get it. And I'm sure our viewers and listeners will get it also.

Carina McEvoy [00:26:25]:
They'll know. They'll know it. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:26:26]:
Yeah. Of course.

Carina McEvoy [00:26:27]:
Her head is doubled with yeah. So so, basically, you're you're a parent is there, as a teacher to, help the child figure life out, figure out the ups, figure out the downs. And instead of pulling them away from the downs, you know, help them get back up again and face those downs because life is full of ups and downs, and we're gonna have, oh, yeah, ups and downs. And we are all going to face ups and downs. So it's about helping our child face them with resilience and be able to get back up again, you know, rather than taking all the downs away. No?

Aidan Noone [00:27:11]:
This this word resilience comes up again and the importance of resilience, you know, being the so that when you have a a a a set or a setback, you you get up on the horse again as it were. You know?

Carina McEvoy [00:27:23]:
Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:27:26]:
Sorry. Did you want to develop that?

Carina McEvoy [00:27:28]:
Yeah. No. No. No.

Aidan Noone [00:27:30]:
Okay.

Carina McEvoy [00:27:30]:
It has something in your opinion. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:27:34]:
The, you know, parents or anyone watching and listening this, actually, just, describe for us, the specific areas of work that or maybe specific issues that you have worked with, if that's okay.

Carina McEvoy [00:27:54]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So I started off so from my own background, I was quite an anxious child. But going back, many, many years, anxiety wasn't a word. Nobody knew what anxiety was. It was she suffers with her nerves. She suffers with her nerves. You know? But, yeah, I was a hugely anxious child, and yet I was quite comical and out there.

Carina McEvoy [00:28:20]:
So, you know, it was funny that I was quite anxious at same time. So nobody knew I was really anxious, but it was quite private, I suppose, anxiety. And because it wasn't addressed, it just developed into by the time I was maybe 17, 18, I was quite depressed. You know, the anxiety was quite heavy. I developed OCD. So, to cut a long story short, I managed to deal with all of that. I went to see a counsellor myself, became very interested in hypnosis, became teachers, studied hypnotherapy and all of that. So in while I was teaching, I realized that there was so much anxiety about it.

Carina McEvoy [00:29:08]:
So much anxiety. And then when I had my own children, I realized that it wasn't because I taught secondary school. It wasn't just secondary school. It was like I was meeting parents at the play school, and the children were anxious. So I took a career break after my second child and I wrote a book for anxious children. I met so many parents then through doing talks about the book, who wanted to go and see somebody wanted to bring their child to see somebody. So I decided you know what? I'm not going to go back to work. I'm going to see children.

Carina McEvoy [00:29:44]:
So initially, it was purely for anxious children. And then, there was children coming in with behavioral issues, like anger issues and all of that. So we were like, okay. Yeah. We can do that too. And then lots of issues then around, say, that really go back to anxiety, you know, biting nails, bed wetting, and hair pulling, and all of that. A lot of, victims of bullying behavior also. A lot of child a lot of separation anxiety.

Carina McEvoy [00:30:23]:
A lot of separation anxiety. Yeah. And then we would see some children who maybe have parents who have decided to separate. You know, and we wanna talk through that. Grief. Yeah. Grief as well. Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:30:37]:
So kind of everything and anything that relates to the emotions.

Aidan Noone [00:30:41]:
Yes. It's that children, you know, commonly present with. Yeah. And I'm sure that, Frankie was a great assistance to you there doing all this work.

Carina McEvoy [00:30:51]:
He is. He's really good because, you know, I understand when children come in to see me, naturally, they are going to be anxious. And this is the thing about anxiety. It's natural. It's so natural, but it's demonized in our society. And it is like, children and teenagers, they feel like they shouldn't be anxious. It's a bad thing. So, actually, part of our, therapy, I suppose I would call it teaching, is that it's it's it's normal.

Carina McEvoy [00:31:25]:
It's really normal. It's natural. It's a good thing. And just to be the boss of us, to be able be able to manage us rather than have the anxiety manage us. But when children come in, Aidan, they get quite anxious and nervous. So Frankie, he can really relate to them because he gets like that when he meets new people. Look. Even talking about it now, he can get a little bit nervous himself.

Aidan Noone [00:31:48]:
I see that.

Carina McEvoy [00:31:49]:
I see that. Even when he's thinking about it. So when he meets someone for the first time, he will meet them feeling a little bit nervous too. So that's where they immediately they're like, oh my gosh. They're on the same level, you know. And then it takes him a while to come around and might take the child a little while to come around. But when they get you know, they understand that Frankie is the same. They come around a bit quicker, actually, and they end up helping Frankie.

Carina McEvoy [00:32:13]:
But, another way Frankie really helps me is Frankie doesn't speak out loud, as you know. He only whispers. He whispers to me, then I can tell you. But, he actually he really bonds with the children. And sometimes he stops speaking to me, don't you? You refuse to speak to me. That's really funny. And he will only speak to the child. So, you know, when we're chatting about stuff, he will tickle their imagination, and he will tell them, you know, what's going on for him.

Carina McEvoy [00:32:47]:
And then the child will be able to tell me. And do you know what really do you know what's really kind of good, Aidan, is, you know, when Frankie's telling me about his 1st day of school or starting school and how he's feeling and he tells the child, it kinda ends up being the same way the child thing is thinking.

Aidan Noone [00:33:07]:
Right.

Carina McEvoy [00:33:07]:
You know? And it's it's always how the child is feeling as well. So they bond so well. So Yeah. We work with Frankie. Sometimes children come in to me with, say, I don't know, being afraid to leave their mom's side. And we would say that's funny because Frankie's a bit like that with me. And during the session, the child ends up teaching Frankie, tell him to leave my side. And he goes away, being able to leave his mom's side as well.

Aidan Noone [00:33:35]:
I know. Is he or Frankie ever open up his own clinic?

Carina McEvoy [00:33:40]:
I think maybe in a couple of years when I retire. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, my daughter now, she's she's in t y, and she's very interested in in this type of work as well.

Carina McEvoy [00:33:53]:
So maybe maybe you and Anna could go in, and then we have Ellie coming on board as well. But maybe you could keep it going today. Come on. Oh, Aidan, he wants to know, would you be able to do podcasts with him on his own?

Aidan Noone [00:34:06]:
Yep. Absolutely. Yeah. No problem at all.

Carina McEvoy [00:34:09]:
Anything out of the way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:34:11]:
Yeah. The only thing is you'd have you'd have this

Carina McEvoy [00:34:13]:
year, Aidan?

Aidan Noone [00:34:14]:
I beg your pardon?

Carina McEvoy [00:34:15]:
He he's spoken to Vegas this year.

Aidan Noone [00:34:19]:
Wow. Yeah. Well, tell us about yeah. Tell us about that.

Carina McEvoy [00:34:21]:
In fact,

Aidan Noone [00:34:22]:
that's a very good

Carina McEvoy [00:34:23]:
Yeah. He was in he yeah. He went to Vegas to speak to, at HypnotoTalks live, and he spoke to other hypnotherapists about working with children, didn't you? Yeah. He did. And you lost it, didn't you? Yeah. But he loved Vegas. Yeah. Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:34:41]:
Yeah. So that was pretty cool.

Aidan Noone [00:34:43]:
Yeah. Mhmm. And how did that go for you? Were you you was were both you and Frankie happy as a result of going there?

Carina McEvoy [00:34:50]:
Yeah. We were. I mean, there are so many children out there who need us.

Aidan Noone [00:34:58]:
Yes.

Carina McEvoy [00:35:00]:
And we are we are in a really good position to be able to help children because we're hip we work with the mind.

Aidan Noone [00:35:08]:
Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:35:09]:
And with children when they come in, they're already in hypnosis. Yes. They're in hypnosis all the time. They don't even don't even need to close their eyes. You're working with their imagination. So who better than to work with children than hypnotherapists? You are literally working with their imagination.

Aidan Noone [00:35:27]:
Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:35:28]:
And they don't question it. They don't question it. So they need us. We have the skills. So why not put them together? You know? Absolutely. There is a bit of fear around working with children because it can be like your section it can you don't know where you're gonna go. You never know where you're gonna end up. It's very child led.

Carina McEvoy [00:35:56]:
But it is it's so easy, Aidan, because their imagination is so open and there's no fear to using their imagination. It's actually and it's very, uplifting, really uplifting work, you know.

Aidan Noone [00:36:12]:
Excellent. Well, that that was wonderful. Is there one final sort of golden nugget, as it were, that you'd like to impart to specifically to parents out there, and I know it may be the younger listeners who may be listening. What what's your final parting words of wisdom for us?

Carina McEvoy [00:36:33]:
That's

Aidan Noone [00:36:34]:
Maybe I maybe I ask Frankie there a bit if you wouldn't mind contributing to this.

Carina McEvoy [00:36:39]:
Yeah. What do you think?

Aidan Noone [00:36:41]:
Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:36:42]:
Yeah. Okay. They can. Yeah. Deal with it. Yeah. Oh, that's a really good one. So Frankie said a really good thing to do for any child out there is even if they don't believe this at the moment, right, to begin to tell themselves, I can do it.

Carina McEvoy [00:37:02]:
It's okay because I can do it. Even if they're. And they more and more and more, they say to themselves, the stronger and stronger that will get in their brain. And the stronger it gets in their brain, the more they will be able to deal with whatever happens. Because once something happens and you say to yourself, I can deal with it, then it's not really a big problem. So have a mantra. It's okay because I can deal with it. Do you think that's a good golden nugget? Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:37:37]:
K?

Aidan Noone [00:37:37]:
It's okay because I can do it. That's great. That's wonderful.

Carina McEvoy [00:37:41]:
Good one too. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:37:43]:
Yeah. Great. And how can we contact you, Karina?

Carina McEvoy [00:37:49]:
So you can contact me on my email. I am info at carina.com. That's pretty simple, isn't it? I'm also on Facebook on Emotional Therapy Center.

Aidan Noone [00:38:01]:
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Carina McEvoy [00:38:02]:
Yeah. And we're TikTok also now. Yeah? Well, I know your name is not on TikTok. But see you yeah. Okay. We we we're gonna have this argument off screen because he gives out to me. But TikTok is just at Corina_ McAvoy. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:38:19]:
K. I would Give us the Instagram again, please. Just say it nice and slow.

Carina McEvoy [00:38:23]:
Oh, gosh. Instagram, I think it's just carina macavie. But TikTok is at carina mac carina_macavie.

Aidan Noone [00:38:32]:
Okay. But then there was something else on your

Carina McEvoy [00:38:34]:
Facebook is, just the emotional therapy center.

Aidan Noone [00:38:38]:
Ah, that's the one. So it's the emotional therapy center

Carina McEvoy [00:38:41]:
Yes. On on Facebook. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Aidan Noone [00:38:45]:
Great. Well, Carina McAvoy, thank you so much. And thank you to Frankie. I mean, Frankie was a great help, today. And, I look forward to interviewing Frankie at some stage in the near future if he's up to it.

Carina McEvoy [00:39:01]:
Oh, he's so up to it, aren't you? Yeah. Absolutely. You're great. Give us a high a high five.

Aidan Noone [00:39:09]:
Great. Thanks, Carina McEvoy. Talk to you soon.

Carina McEvoy [00:39:12]:
Jane. Talk to you soon.

Aidan Noone [00:39:14]:
Bye bye, Frankie.

Carina McEvoy [00:39:15]:
Bye bye. Bye.