Episode 3: More Popular Than Populous

Separated from one another, the survivors of Plutonic Flight 999 face the greatest communication glitch of all: bombardment by relentless advertisements.  Kuzha and Trip discuss their journeys. No tries to calm an anxious Pascal.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Distress, peril, entrapment, existential fear, alcohol, drug mention.

This episode, “More Popular Than Populous”, was written by Emma Johanna Puranen and directed by Rook Mogavero and Emma Johanna Puranen. The script was edited by Rook Mogavero and Shaoni C. White. Sound editing was by Emma Johanna Puranen and William R. Coughlan. Our cover art is by Tatyana Archtander. Music was composed by Emily Branam using copyright cleared content (or free content) within Emily's licensed and registered version of FL Studio 20. Sound effects from freesound.org under CC 0, CC BY 3.0, and CC BY 4.0 licenses. For a list of freesound.org sound effects used in this episode, see here. Postproduction services for Row 12 and Sirius Revel Six commercial segments licensed through Storyblocks.com and provided by Tohubohu Productions, LLC. A transcript of this episode can be found here.

In order of appearance, this episode featured the voices of

Omar Camps-Kamrin as Lowkey Madigan
Bonnie Calderwood Aspinwall as Pascal Almagest
Sam Yeow as No Go
Alexandra Rose DeAngelis as Woh́́ Ollum
Axandre Oge as Valencio “Trip” Triptych
Liz Morey as Kuzha Tvask
Emma Johanna Puranen as Ship

This episode also featured 

Artemis Eales as Row 12 Commercial
Julia Lynn Barnes as Gnonw Children’s Book Narrator
Ishani Kanetkar as Darcy Fleet
Christopher Wilson as Ampt Kru

Additional voices were lent by William R. Coughlan, Anna Coughlan, and Joshua Matuszeski.

Our vibe checker was Bruce the Cat.

This episode's title is a reference to the poem "But Outer Space" by Robert Frost.

Buy us a coffee at http://ko-fi.com/roguemaker 

Transcript

LOWKEY 
Ugh, I have to pee. 

[Static, as a commercial begins to fade in. At the start, it periodically goes to static like a badly tuned radio station. The announcer's voice is extremely enthusiastic and accompanied by obnoxious music.]

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER 
-are back- 
(static) 
-get on the water! 
(static) 
Race your friends to be the first back to the bo-

[More static coming in and out over the following lines.]

PASCAL 
What was that? 

NO 
Oh no…

LOWKEY 
Is there anywhere to pee in these things?  

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER 
    (breaking out of static again)
-edition of the game- 

LOWKEY 
Woh́́? Uh, hey!? Anyone uh, anyone out there? 

WOH́́ 
Oh, I wish I could talk to Lowkey… 

PASCAL 
Trip? Hon? 

TRIP
(overlapping with Pascal; they can't hear each other) 
Pascal! PASCAL!

PASCAL 
Come on, Trip, you've got to be out there, I don't know what I'd do if… 

[A brief moment of silence, before the advertisement plays in its entirety. The passengers of the 999 react in their pods, hearing the ad but not each other. Lowkey, No, and Pascal's line's overlap with the ad.]

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER 
From Gradient Entertainment and Zhugg, it’s ROW 12, the latest edition of the game you know and love! Unleash your inner ancient Earth athlete in ROW 12! All your favourite rowers, like Beckett: 

"BECKET"
Roflcopter lmao!

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER
Ashton: 

"ASHTON"
Do you even lift??

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER
and Trent: 

"TRENT"
My dad’s gonna hear about this!

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER
- are back and ready to get on the water! Race your friends to be the first back to the boathouse or get stuck powerwashing the dock. New characters, new courses, and new weather effects, including RANDOM GEESE. Don’t catch a crab! Download ROW 12: available now. 
 
LOWKEY
Ooh, no! Ohohoho, no no no. Oh, not again. Ohh stars, my pants are in danger. Nope, no more water sounds!

LOWKEY
(Sung, "I'm not listening!")
Uh, lalalala! LA LA LA LA LALALALA LALA I CAN'T DROWN THE SOUND OUUT!
    (Continuing to sing)
Ooh, no no no! Oh Trent you're a stinker and I never should've played as you!
    (spoken)
Ooh boy,why are the acoustics so good in this escape pod?
OH, that's a real crisp water sound. 
Okay,uhh…
    (singing again)
There's not room for me to do pee dance in this escape pod~
    (spoken)
We're playing it real close, we're in… verge of disaster, here.

NO
Oh, no.

If I could just shut him up, [inaudible]

PASCAL
Ugh, what.

What the!?

What is this?

[The ad ends. A sigh of relief.]

LOWKEY
Ohhkay.

NO 
Is it finally over? 

LOWKEY 
Ughhh, do there have to be so many water noises in that ad? This is cosmic payback for arguing with Woh́́ over the setlist… and for how much time I've spent on the Row 12 app… that wasn't very chill of me… I'm never gonna play that game again I swear… 

[Silence hangs in the air.]

PASCAL 
Hello? 

[Static starts up, faintly.]

PASCAL 
Hello, can anyone- can anyone hear me? This is Pascal Almagest, passenger on Plutonic Flight 999- 

ROW 12 ANNOUNCER 
From Gradient Entertainment and Zhugg, it’s ROW 12, the latest edition of the game you know and love! Unleash your inner ancient Earth athlete in ROW 12!

[Groans from Lowkey, No, Pascal, Woh́́, and Trip.]

[The ad fades out.]

[ROGUEMAKER Theme Song by Emily Branam plays.] 

EMILY 
(sung)
Ground control, send me down
I'm lost up here and I can't be found.

Ground control, are you there?
The voice in my head, it fills the dead air, says

"You've got time,
You've got time."

"You've got time,
You've got time."


EMMA 
ROGUEMAKER: A science fiction podcast. Episode 3: More Popular Than Populous. 

TRIP 
36, 35, 34, 33, 32… 

KUZHA 
(overlapping with Trip) 
What is that countdown? Can you hear me? 

TRIP
(continuous with previous line)
…31, 30, 29…

KUZHA
I suppose not. 

TRIP
    (con't)
…28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20… 

KUZHA
(still overlapping with the countdown)
What happens when the countdown reaches zero? Did someone plant a bomb somehow? In my escape pod? Or is this what the latest advertisement algorithms have come up with? I was not briefed for this, I was not briefed for any of this… 

[Tense music starts.]

TRIP
    (con't)
…19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14…

KUZHA
    (still overlapping)
Stars, keep it together, Kuzha. The next logical step would be to contact my superiors. Request backup, and rescue… 
(a beep.)
Lamth. No signal. 

TRIP
    (con't)
…13, 12, 11…

KUZHA
It's… it is almost at zero.

TRIP
(con't)
…10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 

[The music builds as the countdown gets closer and closer to zero. Kuzha braces, and gasps after Trip hits one. The music fades out, but nothing else happens.]
 
KUZHA 
Oh!

TRIP 
    (starting over)
60, 59, 58… 

KUZHA 
Oh…

TRIP 
Oh! Excuse me? Hello? 

KUZHA 
Hi! Yes, you can hear me now! Who is this? 

TRIP 
This is Trip! 

KUZHA 
Trip! I am so sorry, I did not recognise your voice when you were counting. Um, why were you counting? 

TRIP 
Kuzha, is that you? 

KUZHA 
Yeah, this is Kuzha. I am… still in one piece. 

TRIP 
Glad to hear it. Have you heard from Pascal? 

KUZHA 
No… no, I am so sorry, Trip, I have not heard from them. 

TRIP 
That's, uh… I'm sure they're fine. 

KUZHA 
Me, too. 

TRIP 
They have to be. Fine. 

KUZHA 
Sorry, Trip. 

TRIP 
It's not your fault! It's really hard to get in contact with anybody. I've looked for a control panel, or anything… I'm a mechanic, back home on EE station, so… but there's nothing. Just a 3D scanner, which is how Ship knows we're in here, I guess? Um, if I'd brought my phone, I might be able to connect it to something, but I pay too much attention to those security announcements, I suppose. You know, the ones saying to leave everything behind and save yourself first? So I left it behind, and now we're all just… in the dark, here. 

I actually did get in contact with another pod, an actual other person, not an ad, for a bit earlier, but it was random I think… and then we lost each other. 

TRIP
So, I figure the only thing to do is to keep talking since a signal could be gained or lost at any moment and I never know who I'm going to hear. Or, who can hear me. That way I don't lose a second of contact.

KUZHA 
Is that why you were counting? 

TRIP 
Yeah. 

KUZHA 
To make sure you would be heard. 

TRIP 
Yeah. 

[A beat.]

KUZHA 
Heh, it would have been a lot less alarming if you had been counting up instead of down. 

TRIP 
Sorry about that! It… helps me remember where to stop, if I count down. Otherwise… I think I'd just keep going. Up and up. 
(beat, longer this time.)

TRIP
Stars, Kuzha! I just remembered this is your first time in space, isn't it? Please excuse me for forgetting. When you and me and Pascal were talking at dinner the first night of the flight you said—

KUZHA
Yeah, yeah! Well, this is not technically my first time in space, but… it is, sort of. 

TRIP 
Sort of? 

KUZHA 
This flight is not the first leg of my journey. I started from Tand… But yeah, this is basically my first time in space. The explosion and escape pods, though… this is not exactly the start to my Wander that I had imagined… Ha ha…

TRIP 
Gosh, not at all. Though, I shouldn't pretend I know what I'm talking about. EE station was mostly humans, not too many ǵnonw. We'd get some passing through every now and then, but — they were always in Groups, never alone. I… never really got the chance to have in-depth conversations with them? That's probably my own fault. 

KUZHA 
(laughs) 
You can talk to people who are travelling with their Group, you know! 

TRIP 
I know, I just get… anxious, even around other humans. Like I said, that's entirely my fault. Sorry, that was a self-centred thing to say. 

KUZHA 
If you want, I can tell you about Wanders now — we have to pass the time somehow. 

TRIP 
Sure! Um, I would appreciate that. 

KUZHA 
Much nicer than counting. 

TRIP 
Yes. 

KUZHA 
Um, well, a Wander is pretty much the only time you are alone. Your Wander is when you leave the Group you grew up with, the one that raised you, and find a new one to join as an adult. 

TRIP 
How old are you?

KUZHA 
What? 

TRIP 
Oh, sorry, that - might be a rude question. I don't mean you specifically, I mean like, when someone starts their Wander, how- how old are they? 

KUZHA 
Oh, uh, of course. I, um… a Wander begins when it feels right. 

[Gentle music begins to play.]

TRIP 
When it feels… right? 

KUZHA 
Yeah. Wow, I… I have never explained this to someone before. Okay… Humans use scientific time for most things, right? Seconds, minutes, hours… whereas, we mostly operate on social time — the time it takes for things to grow, slowly, or for someone to become hungry or tired. Social time is not so precise — I mean, no one is counting how many Sleeps or Eats someone has had before they go on a Wander. There is nothing… magic, about your 4000th sleep that makes you somehow a different person than you were during your 3999th. And… it all goes back to our planets' rotations, you know? Earth spins very quickly, so a person does not have to move at all to see darkness turn to light, and it is easy to divide and divide until you have seconds, and pilots licences on your 18th birthday. Tand takes the same amount of time to complete one rotation as it does to orbit our sun. So, on Tand, the sun never moves in the sky. It is in a fixed position. And if you stay in the same place? Nothing changes. So, YOU move. WE move. Groups never stay in the same place for long. And then, when it feels like you are ready to move on from the Group you have lived and travelled with your whole life… you do. And you Wander on your own for a while. There are no… time limits for any of it. Some ǵnonw never stop Wandering. 

TRIP 
Really? 

KUZHA 
Yes, well, life-long wanderers are rare, and it is certainly not something I would want to do, but they do exist. 

TRIP 
So it's… a feeling? Knowing when to start on your Wander? 

KUZHA 
Um… A feeling, but also an action? It happens when a person has changed and grown. Sometimes the person it has happened to is the last to know, but it becomes clear they do not fit the way they used to. 

TRIP 
How… how do you know when you're ready? 

KUZHA
Well… For me, one Wake I just… knew I could not fetch one more drink for one more actor. Uh, my Birthgroup, we - they - worked on movie sets. Doing logistics. It was not a bad way to grow up at all. I met all sorts of people and learned a lot about them. 

TRIP 
That explains how you know so much about scientific time. 

KUZHA
Hm? Oh! Y-yes. Yes, exactly that. Um. But, but I just… I wanted to see something real, you know? After all the film sets and the pretend worlds? 

TRIP
Yeah. Sometimes EE station felt a bit like that. A pretend world. It literally was constructed, not natural, but… yeah. 

KUZHA 
I understand, Trip. But you should know, what I said is a me answer. It is different for everyone. 
    (A breath.)
A-and yet here I was, so excited to see those constructed worlds! I was going to go see Sirius Revel Six, I was going to feel the music vibrate through my whole body, and now… now, um. I REALLY wanted to go to Earth and try your… um, standing on a wave in the ocean? 

TRIP 
Surfing? 

KUZHA 
Surfing! It looks so fun. How do you keep your balance? 

TRIP 
You'll have to excuse me, Ku- Kuzha, I'm not the person to ask… I've never really been to Earth. 

KUZHA 
Really? 

TRIP 
Well, I mean, I was born on Earth, but we moved to EE when I was 3. I haven't left the tiny hunk of metal that is EE station since then. 

KUZHA 
Oh. Wow! A true spacer! 

TRIP 
(chuckle) 
Funny you should say that, I never feel like one, since, usually spacers have, well, spent significant time on spaceships… 

KUZHA 
What made you decide to leave the station? 

[The music slowly fades out during the following line.]

TRIP 
The same as you, I suppose. It felt like the time. Pascal and I wanted to see the Revel — we thought a vacation was in order, long overdue really — Pascal actually was on the team that just discovered that new cancer treatment? You might have heard of it. They're way too humble to say anything, but you know, I'm happy to brag for them and the project just finished up so it was time for a celebration- aaAH!!

[There is a BUMP as something hits the outside of Trip's pod. The pod rattles as Trip shuffles about inside. We hear everything over Kuzha's comms, so it's a bit staticky.]

SHIP 
(in background) 
(A) Adjusting attitude thruster. Stabilis-ising. Air, nominal. Pressure, nominal. Temperature, nominal. 

TRIP 
What was that!? 

KUZHA 
Trip, are you alright? 

TRIP 
I bumped something. The pod BUMPED something! There's something out there! 

KUZHA 
(muttering) 
There should be nothing… 

TRIP 
What? 

KUZHA 
    (louder)
Um, I said I- I heard it! How are you doing? 

SHIP 
(to Trip) 
(H) Hello, Pod One. Sorry about the slight turbulence. We had a mi-minor encounter with some debris, but everything is a-okay now! 

TRIP 
Uh, yeah. I'm… fine. All in one piece. I don't… feel anything else out there. Ugh, I wish there was a window. 

KUZHA 
I doubt we would be able to see much, anyway. 

TRIP 
Yeah, but… well. I suppose there's nothing for it but to sit tight until rescue. 
(sigh) 
I just… want to be useful. I wish I could do something. 

[A beat.]

KUZHA 
Um. The Groupelders do say to expect the unexpected during your Wander. 

[Trip starts laughing, forced at first, then entering a bit of a crazed state. Kuzha joins in, awkwardly, before easing off.]

KUZHA 
Um. In seriousness, though, Trip? You said you are a mechanic? 

[Quiet, tense music starts playing.]

TRIP 
I am, yes. 

KUZHA 
And that you could maybe do something with connecting your phone to the pod? 

TRIP
Yes… 

KUZHA
I, um, brought my phone. 

TRIP 
Why didn't you say so earlier!? 

KUZHA 
Sorry, I should have, I just, there's so much happening and I am not the best with technology and… 

TRIP 
No, I should be apologising, I'm sorry if I got you excited about it. I don't even think it'll work, uh, given all the interference, but, I don't know… 

KUZHA
I want to try. Please let me help. 

TRIP 
Okay? Okay. If you can find the 3D scanner and remove it, uh, you should be able to hook up your phone there. With the physical connection the pod should recognise it, and then the two outgoing comms signals could combine. It might be enough to get a message out? I mean, without a surge protector, it's really not good for the micro-black-hole tech in your phone in the long run, but given the situation… there's a chance. 

[A silence. The music stalls, then intensifies.]

TRIP 
Kuzha, did you get that? Kuzha?? 

[Trip waits, but Kuzha doesn't respond. He sighs, and begins counting again.]

TRIP
60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55, 54…

[Kuzha breathes. They can still hear him. The scene fades out.] 

[Static, as a new transmission starts playing.]

CHILDREN'S BOOK NARRATOR 
-easy for Ȟasklonw to pretend they are home in a familiar tunnel. Ȟasklonw (static) forgets how fast the ship is travelling — until it arrives at the planet- plllanet Earth! Ȟasklonw looks out the window. They see Earth’s dark oceans and bright forests below. 

The door opens, and the noise of the spaceport bounces into the spaceship. Ȟasklonw’s ear starts to twitch. They are nervous. They have never been to Earth before. Ȟasklonw hugs their Groupelder, who says, “We are behind you and around you, little one, and you will not be left behind.” 

Most of the Group adults have a meeting with an Earth co, so the Caretaker takes Ȟasklonw and their cohort to play in a park. At the park, Ȟasklonw meets their friend Nisha. They've met Nisha on videos before, but never in person. Nisha is a human from Earth! 

The corners of Nisha's mouth go up when she sees Ȟasklonw. This is a smile, the Caretaker explains, and it means that Nisha is happy. Ȟasklonw puts on a lingchip to understand Nisha. 

Nisha is wearing one, too. Nisha is a girl, and people use the words 'she' and 'her' to refer to her. Humans have several different genders. Long ago, they were not allowed to pick their gender, but now they can. Ȟasklonw's lingchip handles all the translation for them, and if Nisha ever changes her gender, Ȟasklonw can just let their lingchip know. 

For more about human gender, listen to 'Ȟasklonw Meets Nisha's Family'! For now, the adventure continues in 'Ȟasklonw Goes To Earth'… 

Nisha and her friends are playing a ballgame. They invite Ȟasklonw to join them. Ȟasklonw plays on Nisha's team. This game is not so different from mountain polo! 

Ȟasklonw notices lots of new things on Earth. The sun, Sol, is bright and yellow, and it moves across the sky during the ball game. Ȟasklonw has the strange feeling that they should be dizzy. They feel like they have travelled very far this Wake, even though they are still in the same park!

[Static overtakes the sound of the children's book. A beat of silence, then what sounds like a drumbeat– three short taps, three long taps, and three short taps again. This repeats three times before No begins speaking.]

NO 
Hm. That's a new sound, there. Are you another intercepted radio signal, or one of those folks from that rock band? 

PASCAL 
Oh!

NO 
Take it easy, there. 

PASCAL 
Pascal Almagest, Pod Two, Plutonic 999. D-Dr. Go, is that you? 

NO 
(light snort, not unkind) 
You can just call me No, Pascal. 

PASCAL 
No, I- I'm so glad to hear your voice! 

NO 
Likewise. 

PASCAL 
Have you heard from Trip? 

NO 
Sorry, dear, the AI hasn't seen fit to put me in contact with your husband. 

PASCAL 
Oh. 

NO 
Have you heard from the kid? 

PASCAL 
Uh, what kid? 

NO 
There was a kid onboard, too, a stowaway. I don't know if they made it to the pods. 

PASCAL
I- I haven't heard from any kids, sorry. 

NO 
They'll turn up. For someone so often distracted, they have a strong survival instinct. 

[A pause. Pascal is wrapped up in their head.] 

NO 
Pascal, you want to know something? I'd be very surprised if Trip wasn't doing just fine. Very calm in a crisis, that one. 

PASCAL 
He hasn't left EE since he was barely able to talk, and he definitely hasn't ever been trapped in an escape pod in the middle of interstellar space! 

NO 
Ah, doesn't matter. He can handle it. I can tell these things. You, though, heh…

PASCAL 
How can you 'tell' these things? 

NO 
(sigh) 
I am old, Pascal, and I've been around the Terminator. I see things. I see the way you look at the hull like you're expecting it to burst. How you jump a little every time there's an announcement over the comms. You were a bit on edge, the entire time on the lightflight. Easy diagnosis. Scared of space. Common. 

PASCAL
Well, you can't say the fear was unfounded. Now we're probably gonna die in these pods. 

NO 
You start talking like that, you're as good as dead already. 

PASCAL
SERIOUSLY, No? An escape pod is hardly a death sentence, usually. There's air enough that people can stay alive in them for days. Just think of that survivor from the Phalanx — they were floating… a long time. 

[Soft but anxious "holy shit space is big" music starts to play.]

PASCAL
It'd be better if these arseholes at Plutonic had actually thought to stock the pods with any food and water, but — that's not even the real problem. The real problem is the lack of comms. We don't stand a chance without comms. We NEED comms to tell rescue we're out here at all, a-and to give them our position. Without comms, what's probably happening is that once Plutonic 999 failed to make its next ping to Space Traffic Control, they wasted time trying to hail it for a while before sending someone to its last known coordinates. Which, again, would be fine if we could TALK to these rescuers. But, since we can't? 

Our pods were flung away from the explosion at an incredible speed, and with nothing to slow them down we're gonna Newton's-first-law ourselves very far, very fast. We already have. Every SECOND, we're flung further away from the explosion site. Do you have any clue just how insanely huge space is? 

Of course you don't! I don't either, really. It is UNIMAGINABLY BIG. It's so empty that when two GALAXIES collide, there's almost no chance of any of the stars actually hitting each other because there's so much space between them. You'd have better luck trying to find a pebble in Earth's oceans than a single, solitary, commsless pod out here. 
(a shaky breath. The music stops.) 
What an illusion of safety, of community, our comms are. We cheat distance by sending EM waves through Zhugg's micro-black-hole tech, but just block the waves and… you reveal just how alone we really are. 

[Music starts back up again, a bit louder, but also gentler.]

NO 
Are you done with your poetry? 

PASCAL 
Well, I'd like to say goodbye to my husband before I die, and lament pushing for this stupid holiday in the first place, but other than that, yeah. 

NO
Have you ever been to Barnard's Star, Pascal? 

PASCAL 
What? No. 

NO 
There's moon in that system called Saint-Exupéry. Saint-Exupéry is home to a species of plant that screams if there's a fire. Well, really, it's cavitation, air bubbles expanding in the xylem and causing a vibration, but it's essentially screaming. 

There's an animal that makes its home in the plant, and when the plant screams, it alerts the animal to the danger of the fire, so the animal carries its home away from the fire with it. Classic symbiosis. I've heard the screams in samples of this plant that we've synthesised from surface expedition data — leave-no-trace, following AAA, all that. Anyway, it is the eeriest sound, I tell you. I think it's in your human range of hearing. 

PASCAL
I-if you're trying to craft a reassuring metaphor, I JUST said we CAN'T scream because-

NO 
Pascal, I'm telling you this because you and Trip were telling me, back on the flight, about that time you helped out during that fire on EE station, and I thought this plant might make a good addition to those garden rooms you were telling me about that you two take care of. If you ever expand them beyond Earth and Tand flora, that is. That's all. 

There's very little you and I can do right now, Pascal. I do hear you, I do, but there's no sense in panicking. Might as well take the time to tell stories we'd meant to share earlier but hadn't gotten around to yet. 

Oh, I miss Saint-Exupéry. 

PASCAL 
You… I don't get you. 

[The music fades out.]

NO 
That's fine. You don't have to. 

Mm, AND the leaves from this plant can be used to make this incredibly soothing tea, and I think you could use some right now. You know, I run a business selling rare plants, I could hook you up-

PASCAL 
I'd — rather not talk about the future. 

NO 
That's alright. 

[Liquid sloshes around in some sort of bottle.]

PASCAL 
Do — do you have some of this tea with you right now? 

NO 
Ha, no. 
(beat) 
I've got a bottle of gin? Earth alcohol made from juniperus communis. 

PASCAL 
I know what gin is. 

NO 
It was a gift, from a long time ago. 

PASCAL 
If you've hung onto it so long, it must be from someone you care about. 

NO
From someone I really looked up to. We were supposed to drink it together. 

[This hangs in the air a moment.]

PASCAL 
Do you think now's the time? To drink it? 

NO 
Mm, not yet. Pascal, would you tell me a story? Something about your research, maybe? 

PASCAL 
You're the one with all the good stories. 

NO 
You're not too shabby yourself, just young. Are you considering going to grad school? 

PASCAL 
I um— I am, actually, but, um. Like I said, the future… 

NO 
Right, right, my apologies. Well, it's a place you pick up all sorts of stories, that's for certain. 

PASCAL 
Hm, yeah… a story, uh… so… the last project I was on, uh, was Nevermore's new cancer treatment. The details of that are under all sorts of NDAs, I'm sure you can imagine, though now that the product is on the market I can at least say I was involved, uh — 

NO 
Mm, yes, I heard about the discovery. And I know how biomed cos are. I'm wildly curious why an astronomer was needed, but I don't want you to get in trouble. 

PASCAL 
You'd be surprised how relevant knowledge of atmospheric nucleation on a molecular level can be… 

NO 
Seriously. Don't tell me anything I shouldn't know. 

PASCAL 
Uh, um, sure, okay. Well, I study atmospheric dynamics on gas giants. My last paper was on the longevity of the storm systems on Aegir, which is just past the first asteroid belt around EE, I forget if you've been? Well, it's orbit is retrograde so there's a theory that it used to be free-floating. Anyway, there's been this high-pressure anticyclonic storm going for…

[Pascal's voice fades out. We hear static, leading into another broadcast — what appear to be DJs from a radio station.] 

DARCY 
-not gonna talk about that time with the power tools, I-

AMPT 
Darcy, Darcy, COMMERCIAL BREAK'S OVER! Welcome back, 6EQ listeners, I'm Ampt Kru, and this is—

DARCY 
Whattup spacers, it's DARCY FLEET! 

AMPT 
And we’re here LIVE at Sirius Spa and Station Resort for SIRIUS REVEL SIX! 

DARCY 
The biggest! 

AMPT 
The baddest!

DARCY 
The boldest! 

AMPT 
Battle-of-the-bands for a hundred light years! 

DARCY 
With crowd favourite Nalska in the judge’s booth this time around, who do you think’s gonna win the trophy, Ampt? 

AMPT 
Don’t forget about the Makemake record deal, Darce! I dunno, a lot of these newcomers are looking really strong. Like, Barnard’s-Star-coffee level strong. 

DARCY 
I know, right! Like, who even needs blur? What about the wildcards, About Gardens? 

AMPT 
Well, you know the wildcards NEVER win… 

DARCY 
I dunno, Ampt… I think their story is SO INSPIRING!They’re just, like, regular folks! Like, they’re even flying Plutonic. If they can make it here, anyone can! 

AMPT
Exactly. We’ll see soon enough if they’ve got more than luck… 

DARCY 
Come on, Ampt, you gotta love an underdog! 

AMPT 
You got me there, Darce! Stay tuned for more 6EQ exclusives, like-

DARCY 
Interviews with the bands! 

AMPT
Chats with the fans! 

DARCY 
And the latest hits, all the way up to... 

AMPT AND DARCY 
SIRIUS REVEL SIX! 

[The radio station fades into static.] 

LOWKEY
    (deep breath in)
WHOOO, HA HA!
Ohmystarsmanholyhell DARCY FLEET??? AMPT KRU?!!? We were — Woh́́, they - ABOUT GARDENS - US - YOU - ME - on 6EQ??? 
    (excited laughter)
And they called us WILDCARDS! UNDERDOGS! Everybody loves an underdog… Oh, you and me, man, going from downtrodden and brushed aside, the forgotten dregs of the solar systems booking every afternoon pub gig we could, now poised to go toe-to-toe with the giants and start our meteoric rise to become the darlings of the galaxy, our names spoken by the sacred mouths of Darcy Fleet and Ampt Kru! 

UNDERDOGS! Oh, no such thing as bad press, am I right? Our name is out there! Haha!!!
(singing a few lines) 
I'm your Super-casa-nova I outshine the galaxy! Super-casa-nova Super-casa-novaaaaaaa 
(the singing slows and turns to humming) 
Just as soon as we GET THERE. Come on, rescue! Where's that button again… 

[Lowkey feels around the pod for a button and finds it.]

LOWKEY 
Aha! How's it looking, Ship darling, looking like rescue anytime soon? 

[He presses it.] 

SHIP 
(A) The exit is sealed for your safety. 

LOWKEY 
Naturally, naturally. I know you're still working to fix everything, but, you think you could catch 6EQ's frequency again? I used to listen to them all the time growing up. It's- it's like comfort food.

[He presses the button again.] 

SHIP 
 (A)  The exit is sealed for your safety. 

LOWKEY 
That's alright, that's alright, take your time. I'm just… kinda impatient to talk to Woh́́, you know? They uh… I'm sure they could really use a hug just about now. 

[Lowkey clears his throat and sighs, the presses the button again.]

SHIP 
 (A) The exit is sealed for your safety. 

LOWKEY
Mhm, mhm. Alright, Ship, alright.

[He presses the button again.]

SHIP
 (A) The exit-

LOWKEY
Is WHAAAT?

SHIP
-is sealed-

[He presses the button again, cutting off the end of Ship's message to start it up again. He presses it again in rhythm, creating a sort of beat out of Ship's voice.]

SHIP 
 (A) The exi - The exi - The exi - The exi - The exi - The exi - The exi -

[This continues to play in the background while Lowkey improvises a song, starting with wordlessly vocalising over Ship's "beat" before coming up with lyrics-]

LOWKEY
(sung)
The exit is sealed fooor your safety,
It's too dark and cold outside!
The exit is sealed for your safety,
So just stay inside here and hide!
    (spoken)
Sing it with me, Ship!

SHIP
    (continuing the "beat")
The exit-

LOWKEY
    (back to singing)
-is sealed for your safety,
It's too dark and coooOOOHHH- WHAT?

[Suddenly, a new message from Ship breaks through.]

SHIP 
    (up-chime)
 (A)  In accordance with emergency protocol, we are now entering orbit. 

LOWKEY 
Wha- Dah- Y- you said something else! You said something else and it made no sense at all. And… whoops. So much for these pants. 

[A corrupted version of the theme song plays, repeating the line "Are you there?"]

EMMA
Thank you for listening to ROGUEMAKER. This episode, “More Popular Than Populous”, was written by Emma Johanna Puranen and directed by Rook Mogavero and Emma Johanna Puranen. The script was edited by Rook Mogavero and Shaoni C. White. Sound editing was by Emma Johanna Puranen and William R. Coughlan. Original music was composed by Emily Branam, who also sings our theme song. Our cover art is by Tatyana Archtander.

In order of appearance, this episode featured the voices of:

OMAR
Omar Camps-Kamrin as Lowkey Madigan

BONNIE
Bonnie Calderwood Aspinwall as Pascal Almagest

SAM Y.
Sam Yeow as No Go

ALEX
Alexandra Rose DeAngelis as Woh Ollum

AXANDRE
Axandre Oge as Valencio “Trip” Triptych

LIZ
Liz Morey as Kuzha Tvask

EMMA
And:
Emma Johanna Puranen as Ship

This episode also featured:

Artemis Eales as Row 12 Commercial

JULIA
Julia Lynn Barnes as Ǵnonw Children’s Book Narrator

ISHANI
Ishani Kanetkar as Darcy Fleet

EMMA
And:

CHRISTOPHER
Christopher Wilson as Ampt Kru

EMMA
Additional voices were lent by William R. Coughlan, Anna Coughlan, and Joshua Matuszeski.

Last but not least, our vibe checker was: 

BRUCE THE CAT
Mrow!

EMMA
For transcripts and more, check out our website, roguemaker.space.

If you’re ready to unleash your inner ancient Earth athlete and support ROGUEMAKER, please consider rating and reviewing us on your podcatcher of choice. You can also follow @roguemakerpod on Twitter and Instagram, or tell a friend about us.

Until next episode, take care of each other, and stay safe out there.


TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE:

Thank you for reading our transcript!  This was pasted in from the google doc, so apologies for any spaces weirdness or formatting errors.  This episode was transcribed by Rook Mogavero. If you've noticed any mistakes, have any accessibility concerns, or have any other questions/issues regarding the transcripts, please email us at roguesfpod@gmail.com and we'll do our best to address/fix whatever it is as soon as possible! Hope you're having a lovely day :) -RM