Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
A mother and daughter podcast educating others on surrogacy from a surrogates point of view. And the point of view from the intended parents, children born from surrogacy, the agency, legal professionals and IVF doctors for the science behind it all. Together we have brought 8 beautiful children into this world and it’s been an insane rollercoaster ride! Good and bad, the sweet and the sour, all coming to light about the truths behind the best and worst surrogacy journeys. Stop. Sit. Surrogate. Is a podcast that is able to give well rounded information about surrogacy from every point of view. We hope to give as much education as we can provide, to those who want to learn and know more about surrogacy.
Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
The Marks Surrogacy Fraud: A Surrogate's Story
What happens when the dream of helping create a family through surrogacy turns into a nightmare? In this powerful and deeply troubling episode, we speak with a brave surrogate who finds herself caught in what's become one of the most shocking surrogacy scandals in recent memory.
At 34 weeks pregnant, our anonymous guest reveals how she carefully researched surrogacy for a year before matching with what seemed like a legitimate couple. What began as a journey to help create a family has transformed into something unimaginable—the intended parents have been arrested after authorities removed 21 children from their home, with at least 10 more surrogates still pregnant.
The story unfolds like a thriller, with subtle red flags that only became clear in hindsight: communication funneled through "assistants" with suspicious email addresses, strange payment arrangements, and odd requests. The devastating truth emerged when our guest discovered through social media that her intended parents had allegedly created fake agencies to recruit multiple surrogates simultaneously.
Now facing the birth of a baby with no legal precedent for what happens next, our guest shares her emotional struggle, the financial uncertainty, and the extraordinary stress of this situation. Healthcare providers, legal experts, and child protective services are all grappling with an unprecedented case.
Despite everything, our guest demonstrates remarkable resilience and concern for the innocent life she carries. Her story serves as both a cautionary tale and a testament to the strength of the human spirit when faced with extraordinary circumstances.
Welcome. We are a mother-daughter podcast about all things surrogacy.
Speaker 2:Together, we have brought eight beautiful babies into this world and we would like to share, through education and knowledge about surrogacy, with those who want to educate themselves on the topic. This is Stop Sit. Surrogate.
Speaker 1:Hi, everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Hey, everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy and. Ellen, hey everybody. We are on the audio today. We have a very special podcast today with a very special person, and this is going to be an anonymous podcast. So go ahead, sit back, grab a water, grab a tea, grab something stronger and let's get right to it.
Speaker 3:Grab some wine, because I can't, oh gosh yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, so you're pregnant.
Speaker 3:Yes, I am. I will be 34 weeks tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, You're around the corner. I didn't know you were that far in.
Speaker 3:Yep, I'm already that far in Yep.
Speaker 4:Everything going okay with the actual pregnancy? Yeah.
Speaker 3:For the most part, yes, um, she goes up and down. It is a girl, uh, on her weight, okay, uh, of course, because, well, she's a baby. But, yeah, otherwise, uh, the pregnancy itself is going okay, yes, no, no big hiccups or accidents or anything else that we've looked, we've had to deal with. Fingers crossed, knock on wood continues that way Right, yeah, and physically feeling.
Speaker 4:Just I want to just tag on you're physically feeling, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Um, I definitely feel the, the stretches, and I know it's impossible, but I swear uh that she's either putting her fingers in between my ribs or her toes and just like stretching them out that way. I know it's impossible, but that's kind of how I feel, oh she's, she moves, she, she needs room, she moves, she needs room.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, wow. Okay. So I'm curious Is this your first surrogacy? It is my first surrogacy, is it?
Speaker 3:I have two keepers of my own. They are three and four, but this is my first round of surrogacy round of surrogacy. I guess I will figure out if it'll be my only round, depending on what happens.
Speaker 4:Right, we ask everybody and feel free to answer. If you don't want to, you don't have to. How did you hear about surrogacy, Like, how did it get in your ear and your brain?
Speaker 3:So actually one of my friends who I've had now for almost 10 years was a surrogate and did three of her own journeys as an independent and after my son was born in 2022, I really started to look at it like I've been blessed twice. I'm going to pick her brain and see if maybe this is something that I might like to do myself. And the more I picked her brain, the more I researched, the more I listened to you guys, because I found you guys on Spotify and started listening Yay, spotify, yeah. And of course, like everybody has heard Ellen's journey stories about the triplets and stuff like that and I'm like aw, that just sounds so awesome and amazing. And people like love this and blah, blah, blah. And I painted the rosiest picture I could to try and convince my family to support me on this.
Speaker 4:And obviously they did. They were on board.
Speaker 3:Yes, my, my family is very supportive, not as happy about what's going on currently now, but they're still supportive of me and of the baby Because it's like we've said, it's a baby. What's going on currently has nothing to do with the little life inside of me. It's not their fight.
Speaker 1:Exactly so we keep alluding to oh, this and that and you know what's going on and things like that. So can I start at the beginning and just curious on how you got involved with this agency that you're? I don't even know if they're still existent, but who you're with?
Speaker 3:who you're with. So I actually I'll go ahead and kind of start from scratch, because my friend she fully you know supported the independent journey and I actually I wanted to go that way because I felt it costs less to the intended parents and this is not a cheap process, right, and I wanted to try and save them as much as I possibly could. And I know agencies, even though they some of them are worth their while, some of them are not.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:So I put a introduction, like a lot of us see on the independent one of the independent match sites on Facebook. Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:With my picture introducing myself, saying you know, basically giving a little you know profile hey, I want to meet somebody. Your dating profile for intended parents, basically Right. And I had a few people reach out to me, a few couples, all kinds of couples, and I narrowed it down and started talking to two couples. One couple was not as ready as they thought they were. They were kind of just starting their research and not realizing how much in fact, even going the independent route was going to be. Yeah, so they were. They were going to take a step back and so like I concentrated more on this couple and like we had several facetime calls and I actually I liked her smile, the intended mother's smile. I thought she seemed really genuine and nice and sweet and she cared and we formed a connection and built that connection probably for about six months. So it did I, I I definitely took my time in finally deciding to pick them.
Speaker 4:Wow, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:Uh, they claimed they were everything that I wanted independent, everything, basically, us. I had medical clearance January of 2023 and my BMI was a little high, so I had to lose some weight. We started legal in either March or April and finished up by June, and there were Of 23?, of 24. 24. Okay, got you? Okay, yep, no, we weren't that quick. No, okay, 24. And I should have dug more in all, complete, complete honesty, because there were red flags popping up that I questioned, but they had an immediate answer ready to go ah, can you share one of those or no, sure?
Speaker 3:um, my point of contact was supposed to be, uh, my intended mother's assistant. Okay, her email that I kept going back and forth with wasn't like a Gmail or a Yahoo or anything. It was for Mark's surrogacy. Oh.
Speaker 3:And when I asked, I was told the intended mother had a friend at Mark's surrogacy who set it up for her assistant to have an email because it was cheaper going through the clinics if it looked like you belonged to an agency versus just coming off the street. Oh, that's interesting, yeah, which, honestly, I've worked in medical offices. They will play that game sometimes depending on where you come from. Sure, um, just to not really cheat the system but cheat the system. So it kind of sounded legit to me, I so it kind of sounded legit to me and you know I just I wiped that. You know I wiped that aside because, literally, I asked and it wasn't even 20 minutes later that they had an answer.
Speaker 4:Reply for me, okay, so it was quick, like to be honest with you, I probably would have done the same thing and went oh okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that wouldn't have been too big of a red flag at that moment you had the right to question it.
Speaker 4:But anybody would I think anybody probably would have thought that like oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no problem. Yeah, so, um, I, uh, we went through legal. The attorney that I had, um, actually was cause I tried searching for an attorney where I am because I'm in a different state than my intended parents, as most of us are Um, everybody that I talked to in my state, uh, was outside of the quote-unquote budget I was given. So, okay, when I told the assistant that she's like, well, here are five names, call them, see who you click with and let us know what you decide. Okay, this was kind of red flag number two, but again, you know, I'm a first timer I yeah, you know, pick the brain occasionally of my friend and I'm like, hey, is this normal?
Speaker 3:and she's like sometimes people will do it if they know that these people, these attorneys, will work within their budget, right, um, they've heard from friends or they have the list from the like. She said her friend worked for the agency, so maybe they got the couple of numbers from the agency and you know work from there. Okay, so I picked, I started off calling two of the uh, two of the attorneys, and one almost seemed too good to be true because I'm a military spouse, okay, okay, he helped out with the military. He claimed he was a surrogate parent beforehand with his children and he was willing to work within their budget. And I'm like you know what? I think we have a few things in common and I like how you know both sides. You know being an, a parent and working with surrogates. I'm like that's, that's really cool. I like that. I'm going to pick you.
Speaker 3:Was he in your state? No, okay, and he did say he can only do the contract portion. When it came to my state. Only does post birth orders. He said when it comes to post birth order, you are going to have to look somewhere in your state to do the post birth order. Ok, and he's like I do have a couple of names that I can give you at that you know when that's necessary. Or you can reach out to the attorneys that you've talked to before, which I, honestly, was pretty much going to do anyway, because there aren't very many in my state as much as some other states, right? So I accepted that answer and we moved along. Okay.
Speaker 3:Um, contracting wise, everything's everything pretty much went over. Okay, like there were no really giant kickbacks. Um, we had already discussed fees and you know, reimbursements and medical and stuff like that. I have have tricare, which is not surrogate friendly, as most of us know. Okay, so like I needed insurance, uh stuff, and um, they wanted me to pick out my life insurance policy and they basically would pay for that, like I would, um, not uh, they said basically said, find the policy, um, and we'll reimburse you monthly for it, or every six months or whatever. Um, which one my friend said she did have a couple who did do that.
Speaker 3:So that didn't really send up a red flag for her. I um at that time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me either Okay.
Speaker 3:Right and the middle of July my mom and I flew to California and had transfer number one done.
Speaker 4:Okay, so wait, last July, july of 2024.
Speaker 3:July of 2024. Yes of 2024, yes, okay, okay, um we used uh hrc pasadena okay oh, okay, I've been there popular yep, um, very popular, um, um and like the doctor seemed nice, uh, he, uh, wilcox, dr Wilcox. I had Dr Wilcox.
Speaker 2:he said he's been doing it a while and you know his nurses were friendly.
Speaker 3:Good, I had to drink a lot of water sitting there beforehand because I did go to the restroom before we left the hotel before transfer, but yeah, yeah, that's just me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:I know, I hear you yeah, um, the intended parents did not make it to the transfer okay, um, so you haven't met them at this point, you haven't even met them in person, right?
Speaker 3:so actually during my medical clearance, when I went out in January, I met her. Oh, her, okay, she and her assistant took me out for lunch okay, did she portray as my husband is busy uh, yes, okay, yep, and honestly, when I did do one of the facTimes he spoke very little English. He said hi, smiled and waved and that was pretty much the extent of his English. And her English is there, but it's very broken. You have to pay attention.
Speaker 4:Okay, did they share their story? I don't mean to back up a little bit or go off topic, like you have to pay attention. Okay, great, did they share their story? I don't mean to back up a little bit or go off topic, but did they share their story Like they didn't have any kids and they just always wanted them? Or did they mention that they already had some?
Speaker 3:So, yes, they did. And comparing and contrasting, for the few of us that are in this situation, my story was actually a little different than theirs. Okay, I was told the intended parents had a son. Okay, just one, just one, okay. And the intended mother had a lot of issues because she doesn't. She, she, she ran into health issues Like she. Her doctors told her to slow down and she didn't. And between work and trying to make their lives ready and better, she was informed after her son was born with difficulties and came up with several health issues. She couldn't have another.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay that's plausible, yeah, which yeah, yeah, that's not a red flag when I would. Yeah, I, so far, I don't see many red flags, which is, I think, the more concerning aspect of it. Right, right, yeah, when youhmm, right, yeah, okay, when you look back and really start digging. And you start to pick it apart. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And hearing other stories and you can pick it apart. Yeah, that's when they start popping, like you know, right.
Speaker 1:Then it all makes sense.
Speaker 4:Yeah Right, but little pieces here and there, it's like value yeah, it makes sense like any of us, any of us could have especially like well, it's not.
Speaker 1:It's, I think, what makes I I've heard that a lot of first-time surrogates are involved in this and like that makes my skin boil a little. Not that like if I was involved in this would I have thought any different. I don't think I, up till right now, what you're sharing I really wouldn't have me neither, like everything that she has said makes so much sense yes but I just don't like the um, the, what's that word?
Speaker 1:oh my gosh, they use the svu all the time where they're like, they're praying, they're praying, they're praying, yeah, they're praying on advantage of first time certain people yeah I don't like it. Okay, okay. So they have one son? Okay, supposedly, and she's because she's not able to. She has, she has fertility, um infertility, yes, yeah, okay, okay. So you guys have a transfer you said, first transfer yeah yep, um transfer goes good um.
Speaker 3:unfortunately, it was during that time of when, like, all of the airplanes got canceled and shut down, so we ended up getting stuck for a few more days.
Speaker 1:That's right. Oh, so you went later part of July because I had just gotten back early July. Interesting.
Speaker 3:So we got to spend two nights in a hotel uh, by the airport that was. That was fun did you?
Speaker 1:I'm so curious, right, because, like, at the end, we're going to be able to piece everything together and it's all going to kind of come to one. So did you pay for the hotel, or was that? Or did the ip the, the ip's paid for the?
Speaker 3:hotel was actually comped by the airline. Love that even better.
Speaker 3:Um, we did have meal passes, also copped by the airline okay but it didn't cover like full meals, so they went ahead and covered the. Basically the remainder, okay okay, okay there. Okay so yeah, which. Okay there, okay so yeah, which. I honestly I couldn't eat that much food anyway what we were comped for. So hotel food was more expensive and we did have to submit for a little bit. But, yeah, everything, everything worked out and so, yeah, they, they covered everything, definitely for the first journey the rental car, the, the bags, the flight. They took care of it all.
Speaker 4:Okay, okay. Was the original plan after transfer that you would spend the night and then go home the next day, or were you supposed to head home tuesday?
Speaker 3:she wanted uh more bed rest time oh yeah, okay that, what wait?
Speaker 4:she wanted it, or the fertility doc wanted it no, she wanted it um friday, saturday sunday, monday, that's five days. Well, yeah, what?
Speaker 3:yep huh, some people go home the same day, like five days, yeah, yeah, um and on, uh, like, honestly, for transfer number two, I, I, she wanted five days again. And I'm like, look, my son's birthday is literally the end of the week when you want this transfer. I cannot stay five days again. And I'm like, look, my son's birthday is literally the end of the week when you want this transfer. I cannot stay five days again. Yeah, okay, okay, so yeah, but I did it the first time, okay, wow, unfortunately, well, fortunately, baby grew to about six weeks, four days.
Speaker 1:Did you know if it was boy or girl boy?
Speaker 4:oh, so that one was a boy that one was a boy, so you did get pregnant and six, six, a little over six weeks, yeah yes, okay, um, and unfortunately, at around you know, the middle of six and a half weeks he stopped growing.
Speaker 3:Um, we kept, we went back the next week and the week after to make sure, but then my monitoring clinic here, um, they were like, unfortunately we're going to have to call this one a a no-go a no-go and in september I had to.
Speaker 1:I went through a dnc oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3:Oh, you, poor thing, that's hard it it? It definitely was. I've never had, of course, had to do one before, and it was very, very emotional because, yes, you're invested, I know you want this for this family, and not only does it hurt you, it hurts them and it hurts you again because you want to help them, like you're doing this for them. Yep, they did, you know. Like they checked on me, they called me Not right after it was done, because I was, of course, higher than a kite.
Speaker 4:Yeah, sure, that's the one good thing, yeah.
Speaker 3:But yeah, like they kept texting and checking on me making sure I was okay, and you know that I took the next two days off because I think it a either a Wednesday or a Thursday that I had it done. So like they're like, go ahead, make sure you take your time off from work.
Speaker 4:And you know they they took everything there, yeah for lost wages, right yeah, yep, okay.
Speaker 3:There was an issue with trying to run their credit card prior to the actual appointment and I had to pay for it myself and they did reimburse me, but that was quite a chunk of change that I was not exactly prepared to have to spend at that point.
Speaker 4:Whoa wait you, you had to charge the DNC. Yes, oh, I'm so sorry, yep, expensive Now, now, now that, and I'm I'm so sorry what? Yeah, that's expensive now, now, now that, and I'm not. That would have been a red flag to me.
Speaker 3:Yep, that would have been yeah, they're not cheap like uh, it was because I had to pay for it, of course, beforehand and like my mom went with me to a couple for a couple of the appointments because they they wanted to know who was going to be driving me home, get her instructions, stuff like that Cause my husband's in the military, you know he can't exactly take off every time I turn around and um my, my mom was hot oh.
Speaker 4:I bet, like let me just say how lucky you are being a military family, that you're near your mom, like honestly, yeah, I'm a.
Speaker 3:I'm a unicorn. Very few people actually get to stay in their area longer than the two to four years, and my husband has been stationed in this area now Almost. His son is going to be 13 this year.
Speaker 4:Oh wow, knock on his first marriage. Knocka, knocka, because I think that's a saving grace here. Like that you had that support right and I mean I know your husband's a support too. But I'm just saying this is this is rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like shout out to yeah, shout out to mama.
Speaker 3:Okay, I am a. I am a unicorn. I am a born and raised in this state. I'm I'm 37 and I've lived here almost all of my life.
Speaker 4:That is a unicorn. That's amazing, that's amazing, okay, wow.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you had to charge that to your card. I'm like still, as you say, things like my head is still stuck on the previous thing that you said, and then like it's like that's my first red flag.
Speaker 4:That really, because the rest of them know, but that's my first one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that is my first red flag. It's just, that's wild.
Speaker 4:So they reimburse you for that pretty quickly, or?
Speaker 3:Well, I definitely put the urgent note on that one because I'm like, look, if I pay this, I can't make my car payment. Uh, yeah, so I need this, like put in this afternoon to be reimbursed by escrow tomorrow. Right, yeah, and did they comply? Yes, they did happen. Yep, okay, escrow can normally turn it around pretty quickly.
Speaker 1:They can yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, nice.
Speaker 4:So you have to heal, right? Yes, and you're ready to do this a second time.
Speaker 3:So I, when I was ready to do it a second time like part of the spiel I was given, I'm going to call it a second time. Like part of part of the spiel I was given, I'm gonna call it a spiel um was that they have had surrogates before, but if the first transfer didn't take, none of the surrogates wanted to do a second one oh, this came out.
Speaker 4:This came out after the DNC.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh why? Out of curiosity, because tandem journeys are not uncommon. These days. So at any point where they're like yeah, we're thinking about doing a tandem journey, that's like two surrogates at one time Did they ever say that.
Speaker 4:Nope, okay, never once. But they did offer up the information that we've had before the transfer. The first transfer didn't work. The surrogates chose to not continue on. Did I paraphrase it right?
Speaker 3:okay, yes, and never did they actually mention that any of the surrogates that they had before actually had children like live births.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it made it sound like all of their all of their tries were negatives oh interesting, a huge red flag because, like, even if I don't know, even even not knowing right at this point, you're, you have no idea what's going on over there. Even just hearing like, oh, you've had how, like, how many surrogates you said surrogates, they said surrogates plural and indicating that every transfer they've had has failed, that to me is just like, oh my gosh, even if I do this again, is that going to take? But did you ask how many?
Speaker 4:Did you ask how many? I did not. Okay, it's okay, mom, I think only you would ask how many.
Speaker 3:My friend knocked me in the back of the head at that point she's like you should have asked oh my God. That's pertinent information you should have asked. I'm like I think my emotions were on a little roll.
Speaker 1:Your head wasn't there. Yeah, you just went through this emotional roller coaster. Your head's not there. I don't think my head would have been there.
Speaker 4:No, no, I'm just listening to the story going oh, how many? Yeah, okay, wow, okay. And you've had to go again.
Speaker 3:Uh, so, yes, I did agree to go again. Um, uh, hrc's policy was to wait, uh, three months before you could do anything, okay, and you had to have, of course, a period beforehand, right, okay. So my first period hit basically around December, okay, and at the end of November I got a text message from the assistant saying, um, she no longer works for Syl or for the eyepiece, and that I'd have to reach out to the intended mother to see who my new point of contact would be. Oh, okay, so I did. I'm like, hey, I just was informed that this young lady is no longer with you. Who do I need to, you know, start talking to to basically get scheduled with HRC? And you know, start doing, you know what we need to do for the next trip? And it took her a few days to get back to me with an answer. And then she answered with this other young lady's name and gave me her number, okay, and said she'd be sending me an email. Okay, this email came from Future Spring surrogacy Future spring.
Speaker 1:Not Mark, Not Mark's.
Speaker 3:Okay. So, um, okay, I'm like okay, that's, that's weird, that is weird, Really weird. Um, not a real place, that is weird, that's really weird.
Speaker 1:Go to real place.
Speaker 4:Yeah, look that up, yeah she's looking it up.
Speaker 1:I'm just super curious. Can I ask you, have you ever met one of the assistants? Or like taught, like actually physically spoken?
Speaker 4:to them. They went to lunch when she came out for the transfer.
Speaker 1:That Marks, that Marks girl, mm-hmm Okay.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, yep, that Mark's girl. Okay, yep, and um, when I was at my, when I did my transfer, um in July, I did uh actually get to meet him. Um, they came to the hotel after transfer and brought me flowers and and weight loss uh, not weight loss, but like protein shake stuff. And um, okay, um, gave me a, a bracelet and an envelope. What was in the envelope? Uh, oh, my God, yep, uh, green things, uh several, several green things really, oh, green things, yeah, yeah, and they also handed my mother cash.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry what they handed my mother cash oh no, I heard you, that's why did that sound nod to you or no? Honestly, we tried to say no, thank you, of course.
Speaker 1:Right, of course.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Because I'm like you guys are already taking care of everything for us, Like we don't need this, and because, of course, he's not speaking English and she's like he'll just get mad if you don't take it.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's the, that's the nice line, because people take stuff when people say the other person's going to get mad. Yeah, I would have taken it too. Yep, yeah, I would have.
Speaker 1:Did they ever explain what it was?
Speaker 4:for A thank you.
Speaker 3:Yes, exactly, they were like thank you, Like thank you.
Speaker 4:You're doing this for them. This is their way to thank you. I know, I know, I know. But if I'm in that position and they provided that to me and they said here he'll get mad if you don't take it, it's like an insult, maybe in that culture, I don't know, I would have taken it.
Speaker 1:I know, just knowing the story it all seems very sketch. So it's fine, okay, but I'm breaking it apart because I know I know, yeah, I would have, I would have taken it.
Speaker 4:No, I would I yeah.
Speaker 1:If you're a hundred percent. Yes, they seem like nice people at this moment.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, it's like we don't know anything yeah.
Speaker 1:They seem totally nice.
Speaker 3:Yes, honestly, we didn't know anything in December.
Speaker 4:So do you transfer in December or is it?
Speaker 3:January I transferred for the second time in January. In January, okay, where red flags, at least for me at this point were starting to arise Okay, at least for me at this point were starting to arise is we were okayed, you know, for the date and of course you know you have to get checked out by your monitoring clinic and make sure you know your numbers are good right before you go and you know flights aren't booked until then. And the one thing that really, really bothered me is because this round I'm going by myself.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, mom Okay.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, no, mom. Uh, unfortunately none of my friends were able to to come with me. My husband had to stay and take care of the kids. My parents had to be a backup for the kids, cause he's got duty and everything else, so it's like it was all hands on deck. So I'm going by myself.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:Um, okay, I asked about a rental car. Um, to make sure you know, hey, are you guys booking it, or am I booking it and you're you're paying me back, type thing? And they're like oh, um, we don't know yet. We're trying to get in touch with your IM to see what she would like to do. It is literally three days beforehand and I finally get a reply. She would like someone to come and pick you up from the airport. Like, okay, wait in California.
Speaker 3:In California port like okay like, who wait in california or in in california? Do you have a lot of connections in california? I?
Speaker 1:have none, wait a minute I haven't.
Speaker 3:I have no one in california. Okay, um, okay. And they were like they want sylvia, with like one of her friends, to come and pick you up from the airport and take you to your hotel. I'm like okay, and they're like you need to be careful because he does not speak any English, so you're going to have to get a translator app on your phone. I see your hands. That it is exactly how I was feeling. I'm like not just no, but heck, no, yeah I'll take an uber.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much right, I'm like I, I will, I will take an uber, uh, I will, I'll walk. Uh la to pasadena is quite a long distance for me.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's weird. How did?
Speaker 4:how did that play out? Did you respond that way, say I'm not comfortable with that, or I did Okay, good for you, uh.
Speaker 3:I got a uh, because this was all done basically up through that point, through either text message or email, Okay. And then it's literally nine o'clock my time and I get a phone call from the quote unquote agency and they're like well they, your your intended mom really wants you know somebody else to drive you. It's so stressful to be driving and it's just cheaper for somebody to come and get you. Blah, blah, blah. Um, do you really want this to be the reason they break match with you?
Speaker 1:what? Whoa? This is sounding like you're gonna get kidnapped. I'm just throwing it out there, like that's weird, like why does somebody?
Speaker 3:oh, trust me. Yeah, my mind automatically goes to the movie taken, and you know all that yeah, I've watched too many crime shows so I'm like, nope, you're gonna die. Like that's when you're solo yeah, um, so the contact at the agency, uh, finally was like what if I come and get you? I'm like you know what? That's fine, okay, you, that's okay. If sylvia wants to come get me, that's fine right, okay but I hadn't.
Speaker 3:I'm like I'm not writing with some stranger for an hour you can't communicate with also not with a strange guy. Like not that a girl wouldn't do crazy things either, but like no a a guy and I I'm married, like, uh, like, um, yeah, it's just weird, my husband wouldn't, is not going to go for that yeah your husband would be okay with you writing with a gentleman that you can't communicate with, that you've never met before and he's never met before.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh no, no, exactly, absolutely not.
Speaker 3:So I'm like just blows my mind that they thought that that would be okay, but all right, does it, though, does it well, okay, if we put it in context, I know so, like I reached out to the attorney and I'm like this, what this is what I'm being told, and he's like, nope, don't do anything you're not comfortable with, don't, do do not accept that. Um, if they, if they break contract over this, at this point, technically they're not allowed because you've already started medicine. Medicine, right, right, right.
Speaker 4:So like literally just a threat? Yeah, intimidation and a threat, wow. So who picks you up?
Speaker 3:Um, I am actually at my airport, oh dark 30 in the morning and no one has contacted me about who's picking me up, basically, when I land. So I'm like you know what If I he said? My attorney said if you have to book a car, we're going to submit it for reimbursement. If they don't pay it, then we're going to have issues. So at that time in the morning at O'Dark City, I am booking the car because, honestly, booking the car ended up being cheaper than an Uber.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah Well it's. La, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:I sent screenshots. I'm like look, this is how much an. Uber will cost. This is how much a Lyft will cost. This is how much I'm paying for with my military discounts. This is how much I'm paying for, uh, with my military discounts. You know, you know, um, uh, this is how much I'm paying for a car. Right, I'm, I'm saving you money. Yeah, my, my parents are so busy, as what you guys keep telling me. Uh, I think this might be a little easier than somebody trying to get out to me.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right.
Speaker 3:Agreed and uh, basically I land in Cali, um get, uh, it's five hours before check-in at the hotel anyway, cause it's a morning, okay, and I'm like I gotta kill, I gotta kill all this time. Yeah, well, good, you had a car, I'm glad I had a car. Yeah, Well, good, you had a car, I'm glad I had a car. Yeah, and of course it's January, it's around the middle of January, so, unfortunately, pasadena is on fire.
Speaker 1:Oh crap, Right, You're 100% right oh dang yeah, we live here and did not calculate that. Oh yeah, I didn't even calculate that in oh my god, I'm scary yeah.
Speaker 3:So it's like and that was that was part of my questions, you know, leading up to it I'm like, yeah, I made sure I talked to the clinic. I'm like, are you guys, you know, still doing transfers? And they're like there's not really anything around here. Blah, blah, blah everything's okay.
Speaker 1:I know where they're located. If they're still located in the same spot and I think they are so yeah they but still that's.
Speaker 4:People were evacuated from Pasadena. I have. I mean, and right next door to Pasadena is Altadena, and that was just obliterated. So the stress level that must be in your head and in your body, that must be in your head and in your body.
Speaker 3:Oh, honestly, I was. I was extremely stressed, and it was also the week of my son's birthday. Like, my son was turning three that week.
Speaker 4:So, and I am he's got to know all this stress isn't good for transfer. Has to know that.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what I'm like, yeah, at this point I'm like, yeah, um, at this point I'm like, okay, I'm already set to do this because I'm on medication, yeah, so, you go through with it, this one doesn't take. I'm kind of like, yeah, we're, we're done, we're done.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's fair that's yeah, totally I. Probably I would have 100 done the same thing. Yeah, I'm already here. Let's get the lift. This takes great. It's meant to be. If not, nope, yeah.
Speaker 3:Wow, Everything she did want me to say just as long again but I already explained that at the beginning Cause I'm like, look, I've got to be home for my son's birthday. Good.
Speaker 1:Sure how long did you um? So transfer was monday. I flew out on thursday.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, you're fine, you're super nice to stay that long, exactly yeah. Yeah, the clinic was like you can go home thursday, you could go home wednesday, but yeah, we, we know this mother, she's picky, so we'll see. You can go home Thursday, okay interesting.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we know this, mother. Wow, okay, uh, huh okay yeah, it's this.
Speaker 1:Ever since you said HRC, pasadena. No shade towards them. I used them, um, but my head just keeps going. I've used hrc for two of my three journeys and I'm just like did y'all not have any inklings of this couple?
Speaker 4:like none whatsoever, like it's just maybe they were used in different different fertility, but they just said but they just said you know this mother like you know her.
Speaker 3:I don't know, okay anyways, we're going on, so you go home, so I go home, I do my my son's birthday, you know, I decorate and then I sit there. I'm still trying to be good and not you know overdo it myself, yeah yeah, um, but yeah, uh, things go, things go as planned.
Speaker 3:Like, okay, february, february hits and uh, if we of course all the appointments that I need to, and baby girl is growing perfectly, aww, we reach heartburn. We reach a blood test, and then heartburn, heartburn, heart rate confirmation and everything's good. Communication is still touch and go, okay, okay, which it had honestly been a little touch and go from the start because of how busy they are. As I was instructed that they are busy, they'll try and get back to me when, as soon as they can, but but I have a question.
Speaker 1:Busy, what Busy work. That's what I want to say. Did they ever tell you?
Speaker 4:what they were involved with. Yeah, busy work With what? Did they ever tell you what they did?
Speaker 3:I never got really what he did. At one point I thought she called him a doctor. Oh, but, she did like financials and real estate. Okay, so apparently real estate in California is extremely lucrative and extremely busy compared to, I guess, to my area, which, okay, yeah, I guess you know.
Speaker 4:I mean, it depends who is Buyer's market or seller's market and who she represents.
Speaker 1:It depends on your connections as well.
Speaker 4:But yeah, but okay, huh. Okay, Well, that was an answer there, all right, I probably would have bought that too, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um. So like I just rolled with it and I'm like, well, it's kind of communication has kind of always been touch and go, you know. So I kind of expected that she sent gifts for go, you know. So I kind of expected that she sent gifts for for Christmas. She sent gifts for birthdays for like my kids and stuff like that, and I'm I'm like I didn't know that was normal, but that's, that's normal yeah that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, I've had numerous. They do that. Yeah, it's a nice gesture because the family is a part of it. Yeah, it's, it's nice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was part of the thing. You know like I wanted to be. You know, a part of the family afterwards maybe not a helicopter parent, you know.
Speaker 3:I want to know what's going on now, but occasional, you know, updates, yeah for sure. So, like I didn't mind her asking about updates for mine and stuff like that, and I'd send pictures, and we do Mother's Day, my husband actually drew on the stomach and wrote Happy Mother's Day and I sent, and I sent that to her and I didn't hear anything. So that's in May, yeah, okay, yep, no-transcript, I know you, probably you may not celebrate it, but this is what we did. And I did get a. Oh, that's cute, but that's it, okay. And that was April. Yeah, may, we did the Mother's Day. I wished a happy Father's Day in June, okay, but June is when the big ball dropped for me, okay, okay, june 10th was a Tuesday, okay, oh gosh, we know that I just got the goosebumps.
Speaker 4:Why I?
Speaker 3:don't even know. I know these dates by heart.
Speaker 4:I think it's how she said it. You just said that date. I'm like, oh my God, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, june, june 10th, and of course we all tap into Facebook and we read you know the surrogate safe pace group and, um, you know the compensation pages and you know all that fun stuff. Well, of course I'm. I'm scrolling one night my husband's in the shower, my kids are getting ready and they're finishing up their ice cream to go to bed, yeah, and I start, I scroll through, I'm like I started reading this post and I'm like, wait a minute. Oh, it names the agencies, um, the, and it names the first initials of the im and the ip, and it is an extremely close story to my own like another surrogate, posted this yes, like she was looking for a match.
Speaker 3:No, like this is her like this is her story, her story, oh, oh okay, and it and it was.
Speaker 1:When you say similar to yours, you mean like, like, like, how?
Speaker 3:um, some of the medical bills were having issues being paid. Okay, um, naming of not only one of the agencies but both, uh, then the initials of my intended parents, like it, started to like make me shake. I was getting so upset and worried, right, I had to keep myself calm and I commented hey, would you mind if I, if I messaged you? Okay, the young lady replied back. Sure, so I did like hey, um, you said I could message you. Is there any chance that you ever had any communication with this first initial name?
Speaker 3:and she came back immediately with the, the correct name wow so already at that point I'm like, oh my god, okay, we're linked. Yeah, in this post she mentioned the parents were arrested in june.
Speaker 1:This happened in june.
Speaker 3:This is when I found out. In June.
Speaker 4:In.
Speaker 3:June and she commented about how DCFS, which is Department of Children's Services in California, it's called CPS here, but yeah. Now protective services. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay. Yep 21 children away from this couple and um. So she was in contact with authorities because one of her children was the children that were taken because she had already given birth, so one of the one was the children that were taken because she had already given birth.
Speaker 1:So one of the one of the children that was taken was the was the surrogate babe. She delivered.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Okay. Yes, Um and do you know, I'm sorry, do you know how she found all this out?
Speaker 3:She, um. I think she actually started following another one of the girls who was apparently also a surrogate earlier last year, okay, who also gave birth and they had a surrogate baby of hers. Oh my gosh, um. So she, uh, gosh, um, so she, uh. Basically, she's like call, see if you can talk to somebody at dcfs. Unfortunately, I'm. I'm calling. Nobody knows what the heck I'm talking about. Yeah, um, and I'm like okay, I tried, nobody knows what I'm talking, what I'm talking about. She's like here, try this number, explain who you are and who gave you the number. And it ended up being a law enforcement, uh, personnel. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And this personnel was extremely nice and calming and tried to get me to calm down. Yeah, it's just unraveling.
Speaker 4:Oh my God, when you're pregnant. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, unfortunately, it's like yeah, everything is starting to go very, very hazy for me at this point. Yeah, um, this point, um, and she's like okay, um, I stay calm, don't freak out.
Speaker 4:Your health is important.
Speaker 3:You know the normal run, and I'm like, okay, well, my husband finally comes out of the shower and I'm like this is what's going on. He's like, okay, so we can't do anything at our time in the middle of the night. We can't. So tomorrow, you know, start making phone calls, call your attorney, call and talk to this agent again or this law enforcement person again and see what you can come up with. And I did. Friday the 13th was also that that month.
Speaker 1:Lovely.
Speaker 3:And I'm over here calling TRICARE and I'm like, okay, this is my situation. Yeah, cause I've already gone to the. Oh my God, what if my health insurance cancels? Right, how can I pay for the doctor's appointments, the birth, you know all of the fun stuff? Right, if health insurance cancels?
Speaker 4:yeah, and I'm like they're not there to make the payments no, but is there not an escrow?
Speaker 3:there is an escrow. Yes, yes, should tech?
Speaker 1:I mean california. It has to be filled to a certain extent with things.
Speaker 3:In the contract it says it.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:However, I can't see how much is actually in the escrow.
Speaker 4:I was not given that permission. Right, yeah, for sure I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know you don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, taking all precautions For sure, for sure, for sure, okay.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, know, you don't know. Yeah, taking all precautions for sure, for sure, for sure, okay, um so, um, yeah, I'm calling TRICARE. I'm like, look, if this happens, what can I do? Yeah, and they're like, oh, this is, this is a fun. Friday the 13th. We, we've never heard of this before. What are we gonna do?
Speaker 3:which is basically the answer that every person that I have spoken to has has said like this has never happened before, like we've never had to face this. We have no answers, and this is literally what I have been getting and the other surrogates who are still pregnant are getting, because it's more.
Speaker 4:It's more than just you right, it's more than just one. Do you know how many roughly are there under 10?
Speaker 3:Um so uh, according to one of the attorneys that I have spoken to, I'm not going to tell who she is either- yeah, no, for sure no. Um, uh, they said that there are possibly at least 10 surrogates still pregnant at least 10 at least and that was um at the end of july. What?
Speaker 4:what's gonna happen to these babies? What's gonna happen to you guys like, Like this is emotional.
Speaker 3:This is Good question. We have no idea. The parents aren't supposed to have any contact with children. Well, yeah, good, they shouldn't? The initial cause of the children being taken out of the home was the two-month-old being taken to the hospital. A two-month-old being taken to the hospital, a two-month-old and honestly, ladies, you can go down the rabbit hole researching all of the news stories on this, like I. I don't even have to share too much because you don't know it's, I just didn't know it was the two-month-old.
Speaker 4:That baby was shaken right yeah by the nanny yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and they actually released a video of the situation.
Speaker 4:No, yeah, they did. I saw that, I know.
Speaker 3:It's not for the light of heart. Let's just put it that way, oh my God. Stop. It's not for the light of heart. Let's just put it that way, oh my god. Um, so they had, of course, the 21 children taken out. We have been told that they're under. Uh, they were arrested. They were released on bond. Um, there are three possible charges against them, but, of course, innocent until proven guilty. Yeah, and until then, uh, there's really nothing that can be done or said, because they technically haven't broken contract, they haven't breached contract. But one of the things that I actually keep going back to is like, actually, I feel like they have, because it's come out that they've owned the agencies, both of them. I knew they owned them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, interesting. I looked up Future Spring and I cannot pull it up Like it's there, but the website it says Safari cannot connect and I was like thank you Own both of them, okay.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, I feel like that. Yeah, that is breach of contract, because you're coming in under false pretenses. You're not, you're not.
Speaker 3:You're not, you're not, you're not with an agency. You never signed with an agency. Yeah, they were basically the agency for themselves. Yeah, so yeah, but no one is coming forward and saying you have a fraudulent contract. No one is saying it. Surrogacy attorneys aren't saying it, regular attorneys aren't saying it. Like we cannot find a single person to help us. Like it's, it's literally you're trying to get water out of uh, out of a rock.
Speaker 4:Okay, Because if, if it comes to head that the contract they're in breach of contract, have legal counsel told you all and you release what you can release that now these children you're carrying are no longer binded by that contract.
Speaker 3:No one has said one way or the other. Okay, because no one will answer anything about the contract or about the breach or anything.
Speaker 1:Definitely something else going on, then they keep going back to.
Speaker 3:They have not been convicted, right, you can't do something you know, convicted. Right, you can't. You can't do something unless if they're convicted they're not answering questions about the contracts Like it's. It's a big old messed up circle and um. The only thing we can do to try and protect ourselves is to most child protective services agencies are what I was told are reactive, not proactive.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're right. They won't do anything until the baby is born.
Speaker 1:Right. So what will happen when that baby is born? If they, if the parent, if the, if these IPs technically well, if they're ordered to not be around children where, where's the baby's gonna go? I know that there's a girl out there that she's trying to get custody of the baby that she that that was taken. I know that that's one which I mean. Bless her heart, like that's.
Speaker 3:That's a lot she's spearheaded a lot of this and I do know her. I speak to her. Okay, she is trying to take on so much. She is a strong woman. Yeah, that's a lot, but unfortunately for the rest of us who haven't given birth yet. Unfortunately for the rest of us who haven't given birth yet, the only thing that they can tell us is CPS is going to have to become involved and it's up to the state as to what they decide to do with the child.
Speaker 4:Especially in California.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:But wait a minute, you're not coming out here to birth, right? Nope, okay, okay, because typically what happens with CPS and I don't know a ton I just had a friend who's a social worker Children are really wards of the state, like they can come and take them from us whenever they want to, if they can prove that we are being negligent or abusive or what have you. If there's, if there's a circumstance.
Speaker 1:But this is just so different, obviously, and that doesn't even seem like the word outrageous babies born, nobody's there to receive baby Baby just goes into foster care like that's where my question comes in, because in my contracts, you know, knock on wood, if anything had happened to my ips or my current ip, they have to name a next of kin like a guardian, like a, an emergency contact no, but like, no, but like somebody who literally takes over parentage. If something happens to my IP, that's usually death.
Speaker 3:So the number to the backup person is actually the IM's new phone number. No Stop, nope, dead, serious.
Speaker 1:I wonder who their lawyer is, because that seems a little.
Speaker 3:Shaky, wow yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 4:All right. So really seriously, how are you doing? This is a lot.
Speaker 3:Let's just say my due date is actually several days before my birthday. Oh my gosh, I cannot wait for my birthday. I don't blame you. I already have a spot at a Mexican restaurant with a very large jumbo margarita.
Speaker 1:Go girl.
Speaker 3:Yes, ordered and ready to go like. Oh my gosh, um my, my stress level is uh. Unfortunately, now I'm medicated. It's a low dose, but like I was having panic attacks, like I was not being able to concentrate at work. Um my, my sleep is not exactly right, kosher, and I still have to keep up with your job.
Speaker 1:My full-time family, uh being a mom, being a wife, being a daughter, mom be a wife, be a daughter, be, be you know, cook clean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I still have to be there.
Speaker 4:I have to be present. Is escrow still paying you monthly?
Speaker 3:That has been the up in the air. Worry, honestly, every month I am reimbursed, every month on the first Okay, I did get the first payment, or the payment on the first for this month. Um, my reimbursements, on the other hand, since none of the emails are working for future, or Mark surrogacy, uh, none of my reimbursements for, like the side medical, like the therapists, the co-pays, none of that's being covered.
Speaker 1:You can't? Ooh, Okay, Hold on question. I've never done an independent or an independent journey. If I were to be going to a therapist or you know co-pays and things like that. In my escrow there is a drop down for where I asked to get reimbursed and then.
Speaker 3:So my escrow did not have that like. Everything put through escrow was done by the assistant, which I now have just assumed. The assistant actually worked for the agency, right, right.
Speaker 4:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:That makes sense. I reached out Like I try to be a little sneaky, Because the intended mother has been texting more recently trying to find attorneys that are willing to work with us to do a post birth order and no one. Like she's not liking the answer she's getting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, trying to get custody of these babies. Uh huh, no, no, no, no, no, you're kidding.
Speaker 3:Nope, nope, dead, serious. Uh, she's trying to find somebody to help her, and I guess she wants to find somebody who doesn't know anything about this. Oh, good luck honey Good luck.
Speaker 4:Because, even if they don't know about it, you're going to say something the minute you get talking to this.
Speaker 3:Attorney, give me a like I I have personally spoken to four surrogacy attorneys in in my state so, and I think there are maybe six and they already did.
Speaker 4:They already know about it. Did they already know about it?
Speaker 3:the. The first two did not. Oh sure that was early on. That was that was early on. The second two did yeah, so I'm gonna guess the other two know now, right, oh, everyone in the community knows about this.
Speaker 1:You have to be living on a rock not to know about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh yeah, because it's out everywhere.
Speaker 1:It's on tiktok facebook uh, I don't know if it's on the news where you guys where, where you live, but it's on the news where you guys where, where you live, but it's on the news where we live.
Speaker 3:It's, oh, no, it definitely hit me too, and okay, yeah, no, it's, it's definitely hit, it hit um it hit. The week after I told my parents because I was trying to figure out the best way to break this to my family, because gosh, yeah, what?
Speaker 4:I don't even know if I we can cut it out. If you don't want to answer it or if you don't want me to ask it. What does happen when you go to give birth? That baby's just going to go to a nursery or is there something in play? I know, I know attorneys won't deal with it. I know child protection services will probably be there. Well, how are?
Speaker 3:they going to be there. I have to call. Well, I've already my doctors know.
Speaker 3:So, that's that my doctors do know. They're like we're. We've actually put your fun little uh letter that I did receive from law enforcement in my file, and my doctor is like we've put so many flags on your, your file and we'll, when we start creating your plan, basically in the next two weeks at 36 weeks appointment. Yeah, we're gonna start working with the, because the doctors work with the hospital. Um, um, they're going to like they're going to try and get me in touch with the nursing department, the security department, hopefully a few other departments, so we will be under lock and key. No one can get in. Good, yeah, um.
Speaker 4:I do have one more follow-up. Um, okay, do we know, or does anyone know, if this baby is biologically connected to them, or are they donor eggs?
Speaker 3:It's supposed to be intended father's sperm, but not but not intended mother's eggs.
Speaker 4:Right, because she's older she's desperately trying to get custody. Okay, okay, that's interesting, she needs father.
Speaker 3:Father is older than mother. Yeah, yeah, um, oh, my god, uh cps, oh yeah cps.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, CPS, go ahead.
Speaker 3:Well, if I can't call them, basically on my way in the hospital said they will go ahead and call them. Use their representatives that they have on premises. Yeah, they have social workers.
Speaker 3:I'll protect the baby and we will have a plan-ish with what might happen to babe after. Yeah, my thing is is okay, I love my two. Yeah, my husband actually, he now wants another one. I'm like you do realize that may not be a possibility at all because once, once we start that. When I told you we were going to do this, or you know, when we talked about it I said you kind of have to be done, and he's like I'm okay with that. Now he's getting all the happy daddy feels and he sees how my daughter is, you know, playing with the baby in the belly and talking to it. And my little terrorist son, you know, is now starting to love and play with the baby in the belly and talking to it. And my little terrorist son, you know, is now starting to love and play with the baby in the tummy and he's like, you know, it might be okay to have another. I'm like I don't know if I really want to do it again, but we'll have.
Speaker 3:We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Yeah, he's okay if the baby ends up coming home with us, if that is an option.
Speaker 1:Really Well, like adopting the baby.
Speaker 3:Adopting the baby. Are you okay with that? I float back and forth, yeah.
Speaker 1:Sure, you didn't go into this with that mindset of taking home a baby. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's been one of the things like has been drilled into us as surrogates, correct, not?
Speaker 1:get attached. Right, it's not your baby no, it's not my baby.
Speaker 3:Like there is nothing of this child that's mine, right? It's like uh, I am, I am pale ladies, like like I. I might live at the beach, but I do not look like it.
Speaker 4:Would you foster if they offered that?
Speaker 3:If they offered it, I might consider it. But my thing is is I know in my heart, as soon as something, it doesn't matter if it's a cat, a dog, a baby, a rooster, a hamster. It does not matter. If it comes into my house, it's yours, it's mine, I know I hamster.
Speaker 4:It does not matter If it comes into my house it's yours, it's mine, I'm connected, it ain't leaving, right, yeah, cause that might even be more difficult to do it that way and have to give it up A hundred percent, especially with the littles and they're going, they're going, they're seeing mommy, like you know and then,
Speaker 1:they get a baby yeah.
Speaker 4:That's tough. They're attached. Yeah, that's tough. And if this plays out in court, which you know, this is going to go to court for a long time and nothing's going to get resolved for years and there's going to. The collateral damage is all these newborns that are coming in here.
Speaker 3:That's so sad. It's so sad and like the the. The crazy part is is ladies. They took 21 children out of this house.
Speaker 1:No, it's wild. I wanted to get to that. I wanted to ask you, do you do you? You're in contact with a couple more girls in like similar situations and things like that. So I'm curious do you all view it the same as what social media is kind of putting out there as the fact of like it's sex trafficking? Like is that? Is that where all of your heads are?
Speaker 3:so it really at first, when it was first brought up to some of us, yeah, trafficking was honestly at the top of at least my my list, like completely honest. Yeah, because I love my rose colored glasses, I love my disney, I love paint things all pretty, and you know, nothing touches me in this, this happy-go-lucky world, right, well, I kind of got bitch slapped with this one for sure?
Speaker 1:no for sure, I don't know if you have to block that out.
Speaker 3:but yeah, the thing from my family has been out of all of these scenarios we've thought of in connection with you and doing this, this situation never even came close to our bingo card.
Speaker 4:I don't think it came close to anybody's imagination period like how do they keep it under wraps for so long?
Speaker 3:is what's amazing to me yeah, because I'm assuming all 21 of these kids are through surrogacy so when I actually went in january, I had dinner with the intended mother before I was leaving and she brought her daughter.
Speaker 4:Did you know she had a daughter? I thought they said they had a son. Nope.
Speaker 3:Hello, how old was the daughter?
Speaker 4:She's a teenager, that's the old one, that's the older one, the 13 or something, 13 or 15. I can't I forget the age 13. 13. Okay, so here 15. I can't I forget the age 13. 13, okay.
Speaker 3:So here I am like okay, thought you just had a son, didn't really know you had a daughter. But I spent most of the evening at dinner talking to the daughter, who never once mentioned any siblings. Oh my God. We talked about school. We talked about how the fires were affecting her and her friends, like what she liked to do in her free time, and never once did she bring up having any other siblings, any other family, like nothing.
Speaker 1:Not even that brother that was initially yeah, nope whoa so like well coached.
Speaker 4:Some people were well coached in this. Oh, oh, oh yeah, big time. The assistants was 30 what they were coached yep, so I just go to.
Speaker 1:I just go to Olivia Benson and I'm like, was she timid? Was she looking off like you know? Like I'm like I like going to my Olivia Benson mode and I'm like how is this 13 year old reacting? Which way is she looking like? How are her fingers? Like crazy she kept.
Speaker 3:She kept eye contact with me, she was eating like she talked, she laughed, she giggled and, unfortunately, my intended mother is sitting on the other side of me playing on her phone the whole time. Wow, or working.
Speaker 4:It makes me think that this isn't the first time that scenario played out 100%. She's been to other meetings with other surrogates and has done her job.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or else she wouldn't be and has done her job. Yeah, yeah, or else she wouldn't be trusted to go out again.
Speaker 1:Correct, that's really sad to think about when you put it like that Trusted to go out again Like this girl.
Speaker 4:That's abuse on that child. Sorry, that is.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's abuse on all of them. I'm sure that Arnie that's not even seen.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh my, yeah, oh my god, like I don't, I, I, how can we help you? Like I, I I have just, I'm like my whole head is spinning. And if my head is spinning and I'm not even a part of this, I can't even imagine what you're going through.
Speaker 3:I can't like yeah, like honestly, ladies, it's, it's serious, it's a literal roller coaster every day. Like my therapist has said, you know, schedule a certain time when you get in your chat with your other young ladies who are dealing with this, because several of us do talk to each other.
Speaker 1:As you should. We need each other. We do. We really do need each other.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be straight up honest, but she's like take a certain amount of time. Don't try and do this all day, don't you know? Don't focus on it. Work on your breathing. Good advice Take your medicine. Yeah, I'm over here like oh, can I just take a bottle?
Speaker 1:Oh, I get it.
Speaker 3:I get it, but at the same time, like I do, I look down and I'm I'm not small, but I'm not huge. I was bigger with my son actually, um, and I'm like this is not her fault. I can't, I can't take this out and my stress level, even though it is, it is up there, uh out on on this little life. So, like I'm trying to take care of myself, like I'm trying to exercise, I'm trying to, to you know, work and do all my normal necessary stuff, but at the same time, like I do have my freak out moments like oh, yeah, yeah, with these, these bills that haven't been done through escrow, like I'm like I guess I'm using my base comp for that, but if I have to pay for a hotel, a hospital, I would hope to God the hospital would comp the birth If.
Speaker 4:if something's not going to happen with that, I feel like something has to happen.
Speaker 1:Like attorneys will have to come up with something. Like there's just this is too much on you. Like you guys don't have this kind of money. Like it's just surrogates. Don't get into this to pay for all of no offense. Anybody who's listening and might be taking my words out of proportion. But like I don't sign up to be a surrogate to pay for all the medical bills.
Speaker 3:Are you out of your mind like, if that's the case, then I'll have my own baby? Like I, I did this for my babies so I could start, you know, a little bit of a savings account you know exactly exactly I mentioned, I'm a. I'm a disney freak, you know, for at the end of the year you're around, you know, after birth or whatever was like, maybe we can go to Florida for a few days.
Speaker 4:You deserve that, dear God, you deserve that and visit Mickey Mouse, I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for real.
Speaker 3:I'm like I don't know if the funds are going to be there or not.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:I have to hire an attorney to help protect the baby, or if I have to pay for medical bills. It's like it's it's a lot so like no one is telling you guys anything.
Speaker 1:This seems so weird. Like there's no help being given to you guys like pro bono and things like that. Like there's enough people in this surrogacy world that take on things pro bono because of crazy cases. This is by far probably the craziest case I mean.
Speaker 3:I've heard of. So the, the attorney that I did speak to, who has speaking to me here and there when she can, because she is one of very few and extremely, extremely well booked up. Um, she did say she'll take a look at everything pro bono, but at the same time she's still like if it gets too involved, we will have to start not looking at the pro bono side Right, which I don't know how much that's going to put me back, and, like I don't know about you guys, I have saved.
Speaker 4:It's not to use the medical yeah Portion of no. It's not meant like I don't know about you guys, I have saved a portion of my-. No, that's not meant to go towards legal fees that were never supposed to happen in the first place, like a general GoFundMe needs to happen for all of you who are in this boat.
Speaker 3:Well, I know one young lady has started her own. That's the young lady who is fighting for custody. Okay, I have also created my own, okay, yay.
Speaker 1:Plug it. Plug it. Where Well do you want to plug it? Oh, that's right. And that gives her identity, mom, that's right, sorry.
Speaker 3:Well, I've, actually I've made it, so it's kind of just my initials as the organizer. Okay, so it doesn't. I do have my first name in the story, but I don't try an initial like there are no actual pictures of me other than like of my, my neck down Sure.
Speaker 4:That's up to you. You can plug away if you want to.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I can, I can send you guys that, or you, you know yeah, I can.
Speaker 1:I can put it in the show note. So if you're listening and you would like to help and you would like to have what is it? Is it for, like, fees that are going to be accruing?
Speaker 3:basically it's. It's basically it's for fees, it's for you know, any any extra medical that I might unfortunately run into or incur. Yeah, yeah, gosh, yeah, had it written down. I don't know where my paper went.
Speaker 1:You're okay. You're okay, you can just send it and people can just look in the show notes. Actually, you might have sent it to me in an email.
Speaker 3:I don't know if I did or not. I think I asked about it, but I don't think I sent you the actual link to it. But I think I asked about it, but I don't think I sent you the actual link to it, but it's something along the lines of fighting to save this little life. It's, you know, and honestly I'm of the. I'll even just take freaking prayers Because at this point, blessings, well wishes, prayers, yes, sense strength, because that's honestly what all of us need. Yes, money would help in the long run if we have to fight for right, whatever reason, but at the same time, like, yeah, it's, it's definitely. Oh my gosh, it's a. It's a very interesting situation and it is boggling.
Speaker 1:It is called fighting for an innocent life there you go there you go. So that's the gofundme, and, but I will put that in um in the show notes. Oh yes, okay, it just has your initials yeah, perfect um, I, I hope somebody.
Speaker 4:I mean, we reach people. We, you know, we're not huge, but we do reach people and so maybe somebody will hear this and somebody will come and as a collective fight for you guys like and honestly like I.
Speaker 3:That's why I wanted to talk to you guys too is because I know you have a very widespread reach. We do so if anybody I'd like. I'm open for anyone's advice at this point too, because we're not we are. We're hitting a brick wall.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a lot of people. No one was prepared for this, so everyone's kind of just like what do we do, what do we do, what do we do, what do we do.
Speaker 4:Like what's going? What do we have? Let me push it over here. Let me let children's services get involved after the fact, no, let's have a plan for these little babies.
Speaker 3:Things when it does happen, yeah, yeah, and like okay, I, you never, you never hear about the groundbreakers who have to go through this situation. No, they never get the credit and I'm going to tell you right now, it is seriously sucking to be a groundbreaker right, I can't even imagine. I can't, I, I want you want to see change, but at the same time, it's not going to be fast.
Speaker 1:No, it's going to take time.
Speaker 4:And you're on a deadline and when you're 34 weeks pregnant, um baby's coming you're kind of on a deadline. Yeah exactly, yeah, a short deadline and and here's the trickle effect these babies okay, so they go into the system. I I'm not happy saying that, but are they bounced from foster house to foster? Like? What does that set their lives up for? They didn't ask for this, they didn't ask for it. Right, like okay.
Speaker 3:If there's, if they're leaving it up to the state and the state decides okay, instead of putting it in foster and waiting for a result that may be three to five years in the making, we're just going to go ahead and put her. Put the children up for adoption. Okay, I hate to say it, it's going to sound horrible. Babies get adopted instantly. Oh, no for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's great, no, but that's that is the scene. That's where it gets sad because, like the 13 year old that was taken you know that would, that was taken from the house. It's like, okay, well, like what's going to happen with her and I don't know, I don't know the age ranges.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying.
Speaker 1:but what I mean is like 13 years, I know, but what I'm saying is babies do tend to be able to be adopted very easily, very quickly, whereas a 13 year old that it's hard to take on a teenager Right, give them a fighting chance.
Speaker 4:Let these babies, hopefully. But I just think that the IM is going to put up walls and put up or the IP and just you know, injunction after injunction. No, they can't be adopted because this isn't settled yet. Biologically they belong to right, uh-huh yeah.
Speaker 3:And that's where, like, if you can come in back to, back to the contract, if you can go back to the valid, the validity of the contract and fraud. That's another level where, okay, at least in my state, you can go to court for a lot less um timeframe wise on fraud and if they're already under investigation for other child related issues. My state is harsh, yeah, my state will. Hopefully, I've, of course, never had to deal with this before.
Speaker 1:Hopefully, hopefully, they'll be like no, and it takes three to five years. That is interesting. I wonder how that's going to happen, because obviously so. They live here, they live in Cali and there's a lot going on in Cali and the kids were taken from a Cali home, but there are babies that are going to be born in different states. Does this now jump to different states? This is where it gets even more sticky and more just like complex, because it's like wait, how many states are we talking about? And they're all different, like they're all different laws.
Speaker 4:Yes, what's going on that?
Speaker 3:birth certificate. When babies are born, the person who gives birth is considered the birth mother, until the birth order is posted Yikes. So like and if she's not the intended mom, her name can't go on it without his. Um, her name can't go on it without his.
Speaker 4:So if that's the case like, I'm sorry and I'm not a lawyer, but I'm just looking at how to get from one point to the other If, if your name goes on the birth certificate and you're quote, unquote the legal mother because you gave birth, are you allowed to put the baby up for adoption?
Speaker 1:Yeah, depending on what is decided by cps right interesting, that's really interesting I think things are gonna have to start happening in order for decisions to actually have to like force the hand to be made. Like people are just like, well, let's wait to. And it's not like dissing them. It's just like because nobody knows what to do. And it's like, well, we'll figure it out when it happens. And it's like that's not great, but you can play the scenario out. Of course, you will be me, and you can, but who knows what else is going?
Speaker 4:on if they put the birth certificate comes down with so and so and so and so on it, because that's how that state deals with it. Until post-birth judgment. Right, I'm not a lawyer, I don't know me neither, but it's stuff to think about. I don't know why they're not twirling it around in their heads, going you know what hey any lawyers listening?
Speaker 3:I would love to know your opinions, yeah yeah, no, for sure, yeah, yeah post-birth judgment's gonna come down on that, and and and they have three or four days after the birth of the baby to do the post-birth order um it but it like I don't think any lawyer is going to give them that post-birth order and I honestly, if they do, I'm hoping if it goes in front of a judge I can be like, uh, this is what's going on yeah oh my god, no, you can definitely, you can definitely say something like yeah oh, and I, I honestly I plan to.
Speaker 3:I may not, okay, I may not be taking this baby home. Yeah, but at this point, even with a little bit of suspicion, okay, you've got 21 kids.
Speaker 1:That's wild.
Speaker 4:And at least 10. Expecting.
Speaker 3:That takes your brand.
Speaker 4:Oh my God, that's like 31 children, almost three dozen kids. Yowza, you have a sports team, oh my God. You have a football team, Jiminy Crickets offense and defense. What?
Speaker 3:are you going to do with all these kids? I'm going gonna pull this card. Okay, they're asian, they're small, they cannot be offensive and linebackers oh, no, no, no for sure, but like it's just it.
Speaker 1:But it's, what are you doing with all these kids? Where are you getting all your money? There was that's my thing. There was 21 found in the home. How many had already left the home before they got there? Like how do you know what I mean? Kept them all. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Okay, so where. Where my thing comes in is there's also another uh, uh news article out there that the intended father used to work for the communist party in china. Um, we, I'm going to put my foot in my mouth and say that may be where the money is coming from. But even if you take just the number 10, multiply it by a low first timer balance of 50. Yeah, that's $500.
Speaker 1:But, and that's not even that's, that's just, that's just your, that's just your base, that's just your base.
Speaker 3:That's not the insurance, that's not the embryo, that's not the transfers, that's not the flights, that's so you're a good couple.
Speaker 1:I would say a couple mil, I would say two mil. I mean it has to be just 50 grand is where's, where's?
Speaker 3:where's it? Where's it coming from?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah Right, where's it coming from, like, oh my God, I watched too much. I watched too much true crime.
Speaker 4:But the credit card didn't go through when there was a procedure being done. That's weird, right Like wait. But then it came back later that day, right, yeah, well, they put money in.
Speaker 3:They put money in escrow.
Speaker 4:They literally put cash in escrow and then she was able to get it, but the credit card didn't work. Yep, so we're maxing them out, okay, interesting. I could talk for hours about this. This is insane. I know it's late where you are, I know, I know.
Speaker 3:It's all good and honestly I can. I can do update again later on. You know that would be there. There are people who actually are vested at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are, you know, and people are just like how did like? How do we help? What do we do? Oh my gosh, there's like people. I think at first, a lot of us were just like, huh, like I think I was definitely the one that was like are you effing kidding me? Another negative story on surrogacy? I'm gonna go and use your word bitch slap like somebody else, because this isn't.
Speaker 3:come on now there's so many good stories, we're also getting like oh well, you guys, this, you didn't do your research, right, right, and we don't believe you. But okay, I'm sorry, I researched for a year, ladies.
Speaker 1:And your story, the way that you were explaining everything. We've said it multiple times during it. There was not enough red flags being raised in the beginning. I wouldn't have dug too deep like in their in their responses. Like it, oh okay, sure he's busy.
Speaker 4:You were given plausible explanations yeah of course anybody. The only question people are major human right.
Speaker 1:The major red flag is like why are why are children popping up and you didn't tell me about him? Like that's weird, like that's. Why are you hiding?
Speaker 3:your 13 year old. That was weird. But yeah, why do you want a strange man picking me up from the airport oh, that's weird. Or complaining about the hundred and something dollar rental for a car.
Speaker 1:Right, because they were probably getting low on money. I don't know now, so gosh, don't know now, so gosh, now see, yeah, you're right. Once, once you get to the, to where we're at now in the story, all of the little things make they just click. It's like a little, it's like this puzzle piece. It's not complete, but it's.
Speaker 4:It's starting to get there, maybe, uh-huh yeah, the pieces in the beginning just seemed plausible. Towards the latter part of this it just was like, oh well, that's weird, oh, and that's your second transfer.
Speaker 1:It started getting weird.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, and you, oh man. And at this point, like I said, I would have been invested too. I would have been like I am. At this point we're doing a transfer. I took all the meds, we're getting through it.
Speaker 3:We're here, I mean we're here, we're got to, we have to have to, and I'm like it is in my contract that as soon as that medicine is started, you can't back out.
Speaker 4:Right right, then you would have been in breach.
Speaker 3:At christmas I was like, oh my god, I don't know if I want to do this anymore, because, yeah, but I'm like I've already started taking the meds. I right like I read the contract so many times. I literally carry around a copy of my contract in my purse. Ladies, I would too.
Speaker 1:I would too Honestly, like, well, and when you said what's going to happen at the hospital and in no way is my story comparing to yours at all, but my story now is so very light compared to yours. But I carried my contract around because I was always afraid that somebody was going to say something and I had security protection. But this is. I thought my story was wild. Jeez, this is insane. This is insane. This is insane and I feel so bad for you because a piece of me I actually know the panic attack, the stress when you're pregnant. I went into labor at 36 weeks, four days. I had that baby early because I had stress-induced labor. My doctor told me that he's like this is too much for you and I was like clearly, like hello, and my story is so mild compared to yours and we don't want that for you at all.
Speaker 4:No, I don't want that for you, which is why I'm like take as much.
Speaker 1:Try not to overexert it's. It's so much easier said than done, right, because it's like oh, just relax. You cannot tell your inner body to chill like I love it.
Speaker 3:You really can't and honestly I I am. I am very blessed. Like my husband has taken on so much at home. My, my, my bosses and my job are awesome. Like I'm a bookkeeper, so numbers can be stressful at times, but like my bosses are completely understanding, like they're like thank God, we can't really afford to take a baby home either. I'm like hey, you're in your sixties and your late f 50s, you ain't taking a baby home anyway, right?
Speaker 1:Exactly, but like it's crazy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like, and again, yeah, no, they were extremely supportive with me doing this. Everyone has been extremely supportive and they're trying to Get their village, they're trying to be a village and stand beside me. My friends are trying to help.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Um, but yeah, it's like there's just so many unknowns right and so everybody can stand up and be ready to go, but what are we doing? I just feel so helpless and I swear to God, I'm like 18,000 people removed from this, but I'm so. What can we do? We can get this out.
Speaker 3:You've both been pregnant, with your keepers and everything. What are you doing? Around 34 to 36 weeks? You're prepping to bring a baby, you're nesting, you're cleaning, you're trying to pick out clothes, you're trying to get diapers, wipes, formula, a breast pump. You know all that stuff. I don't know if I'm going to need that and I don't know if I'm. No, I'm going to need that until, oh look, d-day.
Speaker 4:Yeah, if you end up bringing this bundle home, hell, we'll do a what do you call it? A virtual baby shower or something, and we'll have everything People can send gift cards or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people can send gift cards on wishlist Like this yeah, yes, We'll help you out with that.
Speaker 4:Hell yeah, Cause that's. Don't even stress about that. You worry about you and delivering that healthy baby and keeping you safe and help and well cause. Seriously, you have two kids to come home to and a husband and a family.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then honestly like okay, my first baby was a COVID baby, my second baby was the year after the COVID baby. So like, um, I, I, my two kids, hit when the breast milk shortage. Uh, I couldn't breastfeed, but formula, formula, formula yep, we have two grandsons.
Speaker 4:That that's the problem, but they. We searched everywhere for formula.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah and it's like okay, um, covid, there's no baby wipes. There's, there's very few diapers. It's like I don't have that issue now, thank gosh, yeah, yeah, just the cost of everything. The cost of everything. It's like no no. It's so expensive, and as surrogates again, you weren't prepared to bring a baby home.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, you're not.
Speaker 4:Not yet, not in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I will say this I do, and I'm not trying to speak for every surrogate in the community, but I will say I'm just going to say 90, 95% of the community definitely feels for everyone involved in this situation and I know that they would want, even if it's a dollar, to like help the situation like it and there's so many people involved in this community that like even a dollar a person would make such a huge difference. And you know, times are hard. I get that and and like no way am I trying to be like everybody give your money. No, no, it's, but it's just, it's the power of community.
Speaker 1:It's the power of community and it's such a great community and thank goodness that this is a great the. The community itself is great.
Speaker 3:The outside world clearly is just wild and and and see like we have to have hearts to come in this to begin with. Okay, like um, yes, a lot of the money is is good, but you have to be in the right headspace and heart space, yeah, to go through with this anyway. And like that's I'm, I'm, I wasn't in this to get rich. I wanted to bless somebody with the like the two little terrorists that I have that are currently now sleeping in their beds. That's what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:Which is what every surrogate wants to do. I mean, you're a surrogate because you have kids of your own. If you're in the US, you're a surrogate because you have kids, and Canada You're a surrogate because you have kids of your own. But in the US you do get compensated and that is a motivator because you know what, like you said in the beginning, you can put. You can put it in your kids accounts, you can help your family, you can take that trip to disneyland. You know you can do these little things and egg yeah, there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 4:It's no 100, nothing wrong with it. But you didn't go into this yeah, I would lie if I said all my services were not partially, and some of them were teeny, teeny little percentages, and some of them were teeny, teeny little percentages and some of them were more, oh same, financially motivated. Yeah, my last one was 100% financially motivated. I'm saying it right there and there. I think I've already done that, but the first two but, but it's, it's not a bad thing, it's not but.
Speaker 1:But we didn't go into it thinking we're going to come out less. We're going to have less in our bank coming out of surrogacy than we did more like correct, go into it thinking I was gonna make you know hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Speaker 3:I knew better. Like I did my research, I listened to you guys, like I tried to take everything under you know, under advisement. Yeah, exactly like, if I honestly don't mind being the main go-to, at least for the viewers or the listeners, with you guys, if I take my GoFundMe and split it between all of us, depending on what we do, I can do that too. Yeah, no, I understand.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but if you bring a baby home, you're going to need it. Yeah, keep us updated. Seriously, if you're willing to come back and share some updates when you know anything, we'd love to have you anonymously and everything. Yeah, no, no problem.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and honestly, like I I already thought about that earlier I'm like there are people are going to be invested, Like people are already invested.
Speaker 1:They're like why aren't you guys talking to people in mark's legacy? I'm like, because I don't want to invade you want to right.
Speaker 3:We didn't want to pry, we didn't, yeah, and and in some cases, like those of us who are still pregnant, are not sure how much we can actually share. Yeah, right, exactly, yeah, so like. That's why, like I'm, I'm anonymous, but I won't be anonymous, like to a point I get you, I get.
Speaker 1:No, it makes sense and cause.
Speaker 4:you're not breaching any contract. Coming on and talking about this, cause that this was never in the contract.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like, okay, I tried to you know, watch. I don't name names if I can. Um, yeah, the, the, the agencies. Well, shoot, everybody knows the agencies by now.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, for sure, sure, they're all over the news.
Speaker 3:Like my clinic was actually different than the other clinic that has been in the news related to this Western Fertility, so like I'm sharing that, I also found out like the escrows are held at different escrow places. They don't even use the same escrow company for everybody because they didn't want everybody to be a lot of surrogates at one place and red flags would fly.
Speaker 1:So that makes sense why they're using several different fertility clinic, or a couple different fertility clinics, a couple different escrows, of course, because at least 10 of you are pregnant, so at least 10 people would be involved at one place. Oh my gosh, they'd be caught tomorrow.
Speaker 3:Like they would have been not tomorrow, they would have been caught like a year ago or whatever, yeah, no, it's like when they first started, or not even when they first started, because zero babies have been in the home for a while yeah, so they have I mean and they're.
Speaker 4:And, if you think about it, because there was the issue with the nanny, they weren't quote unquote raising them per se. They had a lot of help doing it. Wouldn't you need help with 21? Yeah, I would think you would. But, oh my god, 21, why would we give you more? Why would these and I'm just going back to the lawyers and the and when the babies are born, why would they want to give them postpartum judgments and give them more?
Speaker 4:No, I, it's not in the best interest of the baby and I hope to God that's all I'm going to say that these babies get representatives for themselves, court appointed, what do you call them Guardianship? And that these babies are really thought of as humans, because they are, and this is not their fault in any way, shape or form. It's no, it's really. It's no, it's the fault of the people that concocted this, like that's but, but the fallout is happening to the surrogates and to these babies and to all of the families involved. With the surrogates, that lot of stress, and I you have been so well-spoken and have shared so much with us. I honestly, from the bottom of my heart, really seriously thank you for coming on here For being brave and talking about it.
Speaker 4:Courageous and just, honest and strong in your own freaking journey. Jesus, you're amazing.
Speaker 3:You are. You're amazing. I've had one of my friends ask me she's like so you're going to do it again.
Speaker 1:I'm like um.
Speaker 3:I can't even go there right now. Honestly, with what the stress level is and paying Medicaid and everything else, I'm like I don't even know if anybody would want to. Even you know broach talking to me about doing this again.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's not true. People definitely would. There are so many agencies, many agencies out there, and even well, if you don't want to go agency, but still there's so many people out there that would want to give you a good journey. Because, dear lord, but also heal from this, yeah, because yeah, my word, oh yeah, because yeah, it's, it's wild.
Speaker 3:My, my mental is gonna have to, not even my body, but my mental is gonna be like you're gonna need some time, and that's totally fine time, yeah, and like yeah, I could completely be, like okay, yeah, I want, I want to. I want a good journey. I need a good journey to make this what I dreamed it would be. Or or I can be like you know what. I don't know if I trust people anymore and I'm going to go hide under a rock. That's totally fair.
Speaker 1:But no matter what and I just want to say this because somebody said this to me when I was going through it and it actually it helped me reset my mindset and it was the fact of you signed up to help bring a life into the world and you're still standing by, that you are helping this baby come earth side and that was always your goal. That was, that's forever your goal and that is something that no one can take away from you. You 100% have done that and you will do that, and that is the pride and joy that we all get from surrogacy. And so just know that even on your darkest days, like I brought her here and you know what she's going to live an even better life.
Speaker 1:Like she's here because of me and, like, my heart is with her always.
Speaker 3:Like, whatever it may be. Even you know if, once she's born and she does go into the system, she's going to change somebody's life anyway.
Speaker 4:Somebody who?
Speaker 3:wants a baby. Somebody who? Can't have or whatever. So she's still going to end up with. She's going to make her mark on the world. She's going to make her mark on the world. She's going to get a good hopeful, a good hopeful, hopefully, hopefully, fingers crossed a good family, yeah. No, I don't want her going to this family. I know the blood ties might be there, but at the same time, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4:I pray for that to not happen I don't think that will happen.
Speaker 1:There's too much that went on over there 21 like. There's so many things that are going to be looked into like we're not highly doubt I into Like I highly doubt, I know, but I just highly doubt. I watch a lot of SVU, ellen Okay, and I just highly doubt, based off of Olivia Benton, she's going to be somebody's miracle.
Speaker 4:She is just like these other nine, so I'm not helping the couple.
Speaker 3:I signed up to help but I'm helping another couple.
Speaker 4:Yes, 100%. And they have no idea right now that it's in, even in their path. And in in six or eight weeks they're going to get that call. What's going to? Oh my God, be a fly in the room on that one, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yep, like there, there are several directions. This can go on. I'm still, still trying to remain hopeful and helpful.
Speaker 4:Helpful and it's all you can do.
Speaker 3:Heartful.
Speaker 4:And like yeah, yes, and just be mindful of you, and I think you're doing everything you need to be doing. You're a therapist, all that stuff You're doing great, you're taking care of you, which is important. Yeah, that's, that's so I'm now and down right now to you, because you are amazing, seriously.
Speaker 3:I don't know what else to say. I definitely don't feel like it sometimes, but thank you. Oh my God, you are.
Speaker 4:You are. You're still standing, yeah.
Speaker 1:I would. I you're still standing. That just shows how resilient and tough and strong you are and, honestly, like I know, we don't pass anything down to the babies because, like that's, you know, we're not, they're not our DNA, but I like to think that you know all of our strength and all of our resilience. They feel our feelings. So I feel like they take, I feel like you're making her stronger before she's even here. So you know you're creating a whole freaking life and it's you're just amazing.
Speaker 3:And I got a little. Add all this on top of it. Strong warrior, Amazon girl inside. There you go.
Speaker 4:Yes, love it Exactly. Oh my gosh, oh my God. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Yes, Well, please, we would love to stay updated with you. I'll reach out to you every now and then, cause I would like to just know how you yourself are doing yeah, and I wish you the best birthing experience possible.
Speaker 4:I do yeah. Just be known, we're thinking about you. I'm going to think about you until I don't even know when your due date is, but I kind of guesstimated in my head. Be thinking about you every single day until then, I promise.
Speaker 3:Thank you and, like I said, I will take all of the good thoughts, prayers and blessings that anyone would want to send towards me Absolutely, and I know the other surrogates feel the same.
Speaker 4:Yes, 100%, 100%. Please pass along our well wishes to all of them, our support to all of them. If any of them want to come and vent and get some stuff, we're happy to hear it. We'd understand if they don't, either. That's not what I'm looking for. I them want to come and vent and get some stuff, we're happy to hear it. We'd understand if they don't either. That's not what I'm looking for. I just want to let them know they have a platform too, if they want.
Speaker 3:I definitely I will let them know. Maybe not tonight, but I'll let them know.
Speaker 1:No no you go.
Speaker 4:It is late, girl. You go to bed, you go to bed.
Speaker 1:We very much appreciate it. It thank you so much for reaching out, because this is that, like I said, a lot of people in the community have been really worried and concerned for the babies, but also for the surrogates, and to know that at least 10 of you are still pregnant, that's even more concerning. So it's just I I'm speaking on behalf of the community. Sorry, everybody, but all of our hearts are with you and with you all, jesus love, love, love so yeah, let me make a little heart, because I never know how to do it.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to do it, probably from all of us Video mom.
Speaker 4:Oh, whatever, I can make it to her, she saw me. Yes, she did. All right, you get some rest and thank you so very much. You were a delight and I'm so, so, so sorry you're going through this. But you know what I always think that things sometimes happen for reasons I'm firmly like. Right now we might not think it, but in the long run maybe there's something good that'll come of this. I, I, I, I hope it's the groundbreaker.
Speaker 3:Be the trend, be the change. Yeah right.
Speaker 1:You're the, you're one of the groundbreakers, so definitely some something will change from this because of your strength and resilience in it.
Speaker 3:So thank you, fingers crossed yes.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, Fingers, toes, legs, arms, whatever.
Speaker 3:Everything.
Speaker 1:Everything, oh my gosh. Well, you have a wonderful night. Thank you again so much, and we'll be checking in with you, okay.
Speaker 4:Honored to speak with you. It really was. It was a privilege.
Speaker 3:Thank you, ladies. Again, it was wonderful speaking with you as well. Amazing, take care.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, thank you so much. Have a great evening, you too. Bye-bye.
Speaker 4:Bye, bye. Big exhale, people, big exhale. Jesus Christ, I can't. I'm mad. I know she just talked to us, but what has got to be going through her head and her mind?
Speaker 1:She's having panic attacks, wouldn't you? I would, jesus Christ, are you kidding? I had panic attacks in my little speck of a journey. I'm like that was the worst thing ever.
Speaker 4:This Shut up about my journey this is insane, and all the uncertainty that lies before all of them and how, and, but how.
Speaker 1:No one, how? No one knows what to do because nothing remotely has ever had.
Speaker 4:No precedent.
Speaker 1:Well, I know, but, but. But. But like lawyers are like what do we do? Like doctors like what do we do? Cps, what do we do?
Speaker 1:and it's like oh my, oh, my god, like let's, let's just give them some type of peace um, but like just peace of just like the knowing of like where is the baby gonna go. I think, if the surrogates me personally, if I knew where this baby was gonna go and it wasn't gonna all fall back on me and the bills weren't all gonna fall back on me, which, like I know that that's like a very complicated situation all of this, but like just knowing, hey, we're thinking that this might go this way. Just even a thought of a direction right can bring a little peace and I think it's going to be different in every state.
Speaker 4:The laws are not gonna no, I know laws are not gonna apply in those other states that these babies are being born in.
Speaker 1:I mean, which is wild, because those babies were conceived in california and the parents reside in california, so I I don't know if it can be tied back to california one parent biologically one yeah and he's not the one trying to get the post, it's the other one, yeah, so it's very
Speaker 4:more to come. Hopefully, I don't even. Yeah, I, I just don't. I don't even have any more words, I just am so feel, my heart feels so, so heavy for her. But yet, on the flip side of it, I genuinely feel they're coming together as a little community themselves the ones who are affected by this and they're helping each other through it.
Speaker 1:They're lifting each other up and it's very, very important that they that that happens and that they have their privacy to do it Very very important that they have each other and that they have their privacy to do it. Yeah, very, very important, of course. Yeah, the backlash that they're getting online is absolutely diabolical. It's just like what are you people saying? Shut up, like normally. It's like all in white noise Cause, like people say it, but it's like you don't even know the situation. Just sit down and stop, just stop.
Speaker 4:And stop sit, surrogate. Listen to this and maybe you'll get a little bit more understanding, literally stop, sit and then surrogate, Like listen.
Speaker 1:I just said that I know, but do you know where I got it from the stop?
Speaker 4:collaborate and listen, that's so sweet, get it Like stop sit, don't really, but that's fine. Okay, it's long, we're going. Okay, I love that pretty much Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. Our hearts are with you and definitely we'll be checking in on you and anyone in the community.
Speaker 4:Yeah, really that's dealing with this. All the blessings and prayers to all of you. Seriously, it'll work out, girls. It will work out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, out girls, it will work out. Yeah, If. Uh, if anybody has any questions or stories they would like to share, please feel free to reach out to us on Instagram. At stop period.
Speaker 4:Sit period surrogate, or you can email us at stop period sit period surrogate at gmailcom. It's been another edition of stop sit surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Thanks for listening. Bye. If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a like and subscribe. Also, check out the link to our YouTube channel in the description, and be sure to also check out our children's book my Mom has Superpowers, sold on Amazon and Etsy.