Stop. Sit. Surrogate.

Paying It Forward: When Surrogacy Becomes Your Life's Mission

• Kenedi & Ellen Smith • Season 5 • Episode 17

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0:00 | 49:25

 #surrogacy #ivf #surrogate 


Paying It Forward Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/payingitforward_surrogacy?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


Beth Moskowicz journey through surrogacy began over a decade ago when she and her husband faced fertility challenges. After failed IVF transfers and a heartbreaking miscarriage, they turned to surrogacy—a path that would not only build their family but eventually shape Beth's career and life purpose.

What started as her personal quest for parenthood evolved into a profound mission to help others. Beth candidly shares the dramatic birth of her daughter, where a rare umbilical cord complication led to moments of terror before joy. Three years later, after unsuccessful transfer attempts with their first surrogate, they matched with another surrogate who carried their son to term. These experiences gave Beth unique insight into both the emotional rollercoaster and practical realities of surrogacy journeys.

The technological advancements Beth witnessed between her children's births—just three years apart—highlight how rapidly the field evolves. Genetic testing of embryos, unavailable during her daughter's journey, became standard practice by the time her son was conceived, fundamentally changing success rates and risk factors.

Today, as founder of Paying it Forward Surrogacy, Beth deliberately maintains a boutique approach, personally managing no more than seven cases at once. This allows her to provide the kind of attentive support she valued during her own surrogacy experiences. Her background as both a newspaper reporter and law school graduate equips her with exceptional communication skills and legal understanding—though she's quick to clarify she doesn't write contracts herself.

Beth offers valuable perspective on the changing landscape of surrogacy compensation and state legislation, particularly regarding pregnancy termination rights. Her balanced approach acknowledges both surrogate worth and the financial realities faced by intended parents. Above all, she emphasizes the critical importance of thorough research, clear communication, and addressing concerns promptly rather than letting them fester.

Connect with Beth at payingitforwardsurrogacy.com to learn how her uniquely personal approach might support your surrogacy journey.


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Introducing Stop Sit Surrogate

Speaker 1

Welcome. We are a mother-daughter podcast about all things surrogacy. Together, we have brought eight beautiful babies into this world and we would like to share through education and knowledge about surrogacy with those who want to educate themselves on the topic. This is Stop Sit Surrogate.

Speaker 2

Hi everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen Everybody. We have a beautiful guest today, and so I'm going to let her introduce herself.

Speaker 3

Hi everyone. My name is Beth Moskowitz, I am a parent twice through surrogacy and I am also the owner of an agency, a surrogacy agency called Paying it Forward Surrogacy. The name came from the fact that when I, after having my two children through surrogacy and starting to case manage surrogacy cases, I would say to everyone involved that I just feel so grateful that I was able to build my family this way and that I just enjoy paying it forward to, you know, the next group of people who you know, uh, this lovely surrogacy world. So that's just a little bit about myself and the name of the agency. And, um, yeah, we are based in Texas, um, but we work with intended parents and surrogates throughout the country, um, country, um, and uh, the only we do not work with, um, international intended parents, just fyi, yeah, but yeah, other than that, you know that's that's kind of our, our backstory, um, and yeah, I just I'm excited to talk all things intended parent and agency.

Beth's Personal Surrogacy Journey

Speaker 4

So so we're going to start kind of from the beginning, right? So number one how did you find out about surrogacy? And number two like what was your, I guess your guys' decision to use surrogacy to grow your family?

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, so, um, you know, we started down the road of fertility treatments for myself, um, my husband and I, shortly after we got married, um, and we were living in New York city at the time, um, and we did two IVF transfers with myself, and the first transfer it was a chemical pregnancy. The second one, we did get to a heartbeat, which was very exciting, and that happened to coincide with a planned move. To coincide with a planned move, my husband was completing his medical school education and he had a fellowship in Baltimore. So we got the positive, all good congratulations. We made the move to Baltimore and I had a follow-up appointment and unfortunately, that resulted in, um, that I, I miscarried. So, um, yeah, so after that we just kind of said, okay, let's find you know some, uh, a clinic in Baltimore, so walked right in and basically they said, you know, uh, really, let's, let's just talk about the end goal of having a healthy baby at the end and this was my daughter is 11 now.

Speaker 3

So this was, I would say, you know, 12 and a half years ago, um, and so, you know, surrogacy was out there, but it really was. It's like night and day, I would say, compared to where things are now. But you know, I remember thinking physically I had, you know, had just gone through, you know, just a whole lot. I had just gone through just a whole lot. So, physically, I was ready to hands with the agency.

Speaker 3

And also, once he introduced us to our surrogate, it didn't feel like this amorphous kind of idea, kind of idea Like it felt like, okay, these are, these are people that you know, I have met, that I felt really were wanting to do this, you know, for all the right reasons, and I really connected with them, just like you know. It just felt like, you know, these are people that I could see being friends with and just kind of having a good experience with this. So there was a level of trust that once that meeting happened that I, you know, it all clicked. Yeah, it all felt real. And now that I have my agency, I always say that's one of my favorite things is doing the match meetings and seeing those moments play out again in real time.

Speaker 4

Because it becomes real, like it becomes like oh my gosh, we might be able to do this.

Speaker 3

Right and you can kind of see the clicks with everyone when that happens.

Speaker 2

And besides seeing the little baby pictures, that's my second favorite part of the whole process is connecting the people. And okay, so you got with this agency. And when it came to matching, I'm just so curious because back then what, 12 years ago, right, yeah, who did you get to see the surrogates first? Or did they get to see you and be like, oh, we like you?

Speaker 3

so we were, and this is how we do it at our agency also. Um, the surrogate first sees saw our profile because you know, know, and I always explain this I would rather, after everything most intended parents have been through, to get to, you know, the point of surrogacy. I would rather come to the surrogate, I mean come to the intended parent, with the knowledge that the surrogate has already expressed interest in their, in their profile. So that's yeah, that's how we kind of did it then and that's what I do with our matches.

Speaker 2

So yeah, that's, that's really great. So then, and then you got to see the surrogate once. They were like hey, somebody's interested in you. And then you got to see her surrogate once.

Speaker 3

They were like hey somebody's interested in you and then you got to see her profile, yes, and then, um, I feel you know, even though it was 12 years ago, I do believe we all kind of did a video. You know, it was kind of not soon, maybe it was over Skype. Um, yeah, the previous iteration with our, um, yeah, the agency owner, he was part of it and yeah, it was, um, it was just a great, great journey. We, um, yeah, we did the first transfer and one embryo, one embryo years ago, okay.

Speaker 4

Wow, even 12 years ago. That's amazing. All right, just did there. Did you already have eggs frozen when?

The Second Surrogacy Experience

Speaker 3

you, and that's one thing that I, we had to create the embryos, um, yeah, and that is again one thing now, um that I I know it's a common question that surrogates come to us and ask how many embryos you know, have they been tested, et cetera. And so, while I'm always happy to speak with intended parents at any point that they're at in their journey, that they're at in their journey, I do um wait until embryos are created to kind of get to the matching point, um, because you know it's just like any part of this process. You just don't know, um, you know, through the embryo making how many and you know, um, you know, through the embryo making how many, and you know, um, I've seen where you know, unfortunately, they have to. You know, one cycle doesn't result in, you know, a genetically test tested normal embryo for even one. So, yeah, so that's just kind of how we operate, but, yeah, for us that's good. Yeah, so, um, and pregnancy was healthy, everything, yeah, well, it was pitch perfect.

Speaker 3

Um, I still tell my daughter about, you know, the drama, um, at the birth, oh, oh, the birth was a moment. The birth was strong. Yeah, at the moment, okay, he was literally like about to be born. They could see the head. And then all of a sudden I heard the doctor say there's no heartbeat. And then, yeah, and then why would he say that out loud? Very quickly, very quickly, they wheeled our surrogate in for an emergency C-section. Yeah, you can see her head. They wheeled our surrogate in for an emergency C-section, whoa, yeah, you can see her head. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't so, but yeah. And then my husband and I were just waiting and then the doctor comes back, kind of looks like he's been, you know, shell-shocked a little. So we weren't you know sure what to make. And then so we asked. He said, oh, no, one told you the baby's totally fine. Everything turned out. They did not.

Speaker 4

Based on the anatomy scans, she um, a filamentous cord insertion yeah, just like um, the last gal we talked to, ken, um, she's the nurse in the labor and delivery era so, basically, right before, from my I'm not, you know, a medical, but my understanding is, right before she was born, the cord snapped, correct.

Speaker 3

She lost oxygen, correct.

Speaker 4

And it's very, very dangerous for mom and baby, for surrogate and baby. Yeah, you can lose them both.

Speaker 3

Exactly. So again, we weren't in the room, but they told me for surrogate. They said you might have to do this. By the way, anesthesiologist was not present. Yeah, yeah, that's a whole nother story, but wait so she wasn't put under I didn't think so. They said to her yeah, do you think you could try to push really quickly? And oh, okay, and lo and behold, our little five-pound two-ounce daughter came out, just fine. So, she did push.

Speaker 4

She did yes, no C-section, okay, okay.

Speaker 3

So she did not have to have a C-section, okay, but yeah, it was only after when they, I guess the placenta that they they figured out. It's very scary, oh yeah, and my daughter is like the most calm, relaxed personality, so I'm like she got the drama out of you just through that yeah, got her drama. Phil got it all out in the beginning.

Speaker 2

Oh, my gosh so yeah so then, okay, so, so she's healthy. So, and you said that your kids are three years apart they're through almost exactly.

Speaker 3

Yeah, um, the same surrogate. No, so, yeah. So after our daughter was born, you know, we knew we would want a sibling and our surrogate was totally on board. And you know, we were very excited and by that time we had moved once again. We weren't in the Maryland area, we moved to Texas by that point and we but we still, you know, said let's do this long distance.

Speaker 3

And we did two transfers with that surrogate, transfers with that surrogate and, um, unfortunately, both times, just, they did not have um positive pregnancies. So, and on top of that, she started to um have like not I want to say like allergy, but she was reacting very, very poorly to the medications. Yeah, so at that point we just kind of said, okay, you know, maybe this is time to, you know, think about, you know next steps. And again, we were living in Texas by that agency and they said you know the first conversation. She said you know, there's this amazing surrogate. She was matched, she's been medically cleared by this clinic, unfortunately, as after she, like almost shortly after she was matched, the intended father passed away unexpectedly. Oh, I got goosebumps.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it's very sad. So they, she said the agency owner, she said but listen, so if you're open to working with this clinic, this could be a very fast process. So and again we connected and meant to be, yeah, exactly, um, and did the you know first embryo again with this surrogate and our son was born. That's awesome. Almost exactly my daughter's birthday is late January and my son was early January.

Speaker 2

So Cool, that's cool From the same time.

Speaker 1

Yeah exactly so how did that pregnancy?

Speaker 3

go Perfect. I mean yeah, yeah, and so, yeah, pregnancy go perfect.

Speaker 4

I mean yeah, yeah, and so yeah, like I being in the room when he was born, I was like, oh okay, that's awesome.

Speaker 3

um, and I joke because he he had like super easy, you know, no drama with the pregnancy or delivery, and he's more of my drama king now I would say that's funny. So we never know how things work out, but yeah, so that was lovely, we were. And you know, she, our surrogate, who carried her son, really said I it's really important for me that you guys cause I was like we're open to whatever you know, if you want us to be there, if you want, you know, some privacy, and she's like no, like, again, really important For me that you know you all get to be there and experience this, cause this is something that I'm I'm doing for you all.

Speaker 3

So that's really really for the right reasons yeah right, exactly, exactly, so, yeah, um, very cool.

Speaker 4

So that's yeah, so that's how we so then from that, how soon do you go into your to build your agency? You said you worked as a case manager for a little bit.

Building a Boutique Surrogacy Agency

Speaker 3

I worked for a case manager for a Texas based surrogacy agency.

Speaker 2

The same one you used.

Speaker 3

No, actually it was a different one. Yeah, I, I believe I saw they had. They were this agency. I ended up working with posted um on um, a surrogacy professionals web, um Facebook page that they were looking for. Uh, I worked with them from 2017 through 2020. And then, in the midst of the pandemic, I was like you know, let's just add a little more drama and spice to life. And I decided, you know this was I was going to take this moment and start my own, my own agency.

Speaker 2

So, yeah, Good for you, thank you.

Speaker 3

So your agency was born then, yeah, yeah, and um, yeah it it's just really, um, like I said, I just being able to, you know, connect with people, um, who you know again are have the heart surrogates, who again are just passionate about providing this amazing gift for people, and then, you know, helping intended parents, you know, get through, navigate the ups and downs of their journeys, is also something that I just truly, I feel honored to, to be a part of there.

Speaker 4

And you have the real world experience. You've been there. You've been on both sides of it. Yeah, waiting for the period and then having the not the well. Yeah, having the failed transfers and then finally getting success. So you know the ups and downs and you know it can work. It will work if people are just patient. Right, it typically works. Let's put it that way. You may have to change surrogates, who knows Exactly? Yeah, wow, you know. If you're. That's some insight on your end.

Speaker 3

Like seriously. No, really.

Speaker 4

That's.

Speaker 3

No, I mean I Today I was having a conversation with a potential intended mom who you know, unfortunately she happen. But if you, you just believe that it is possible, then you know and you're willing to keep at it. It truly, it truly will happen. So yeah, so that.

Speaker 2

Your story is so sweet it is.

Speaker 4

It is how many babies have been born.

Speaker 3

Yes, so through our agency, um we, I, I keep our our caseload um intentionally small Cause I'm the primary case manager. Um, as soon as we get up to seven to seven cases, I don't you know take on any more, just because I feel that that's truly my sweet spot of busy enough but not pulling out my hair with craziness. So yeah, so I would estimate, close to you know, 40. Wow, that's impressive.

Speaker 2

So, it's. Is it just you? You said primary yeah. So, yeah, it's.

Speaker 1

Wow.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it's very like I said it's definitely a boutique agency, but I really kind of like being able to. That's not a bad thing. Yeah, in everything it's almost very appealing.

Speaker 3

Yeah absolutely, because if you get to go right to the top to get everything and you're not waiting days upon days for your case manager to go and do that for you, yeah, that's huge and again, I it was less so with the journey with our son because I already had a kid and I trusted the process, but truly the support and just cheerleading and etc. That I got from the agency owner that we worked with with our daughter, um, he truly, um it made me committed to being there from start to finish for intended parents and surrogates throughout the journey.

Speaker 4

Makes a difference. Yeah.

Speaker 3

It's a huge difference, first person that you you speak with truly sets the tone for you know, for the agency and and um, you do develop a certain level of trust and communication and so, um, I just I feel like being able to kind of be there from start to finish. There's the way that I I kind of feel, I love it, thank you yeah, I think it.

Speaker 2

I think I think it would be nicer to have more, as you call it, like boutique agencies and like, just because you know I've I mean all my, all of mine uh, all my journeys have been through agencies. Okay, I think there's nothing wrong with agencies. I have been with um, populated agencies, not saying that they're overpopulated, but you know it's like the, you know it's the normal number. I have a great case manager going around this time, which I'm really thankful for. But in the past, right, good luck getting in contact with somebody when you actually had a question and then to even talk to the agency owner. Only time I ever talked to an agency owner was when I was a problem.

Speaker 2

So, you know, it's interesting to have the trust and to be able to know you like the person who created the agency. Like that's a huge. For me personally, that's a huge thing. As a surrogate. It's like wait, she actually cares, like she didn't just like do this to put some money in her back pocket. Unfortunately, some agencies are like that. So it's nice the boutique feel, because you feel there's more of like an intimate relationship.

Speaker 3

Yeah, and you know I am one of those people that have my phone with me at all times. So if you reach out to me, I'm You're going to respond yeah. Yeah, my. Before getting into this world, my background was trained in. I was a newspaper reporter and then, yeah, I did have a law degree too, so I did.

Speaker 2

Yeah, pulling all these out of your hat, why don't you?

Speaker 4

You don't write the contracts. You don't write the contracts. Don't write the contracts you're not the lawyer.

Speaker 3

No, no, no, no, happily no, but um, yeah, so 180. But yeah, I mean my gut, my that training as a reporter kind of. I think first of all, like, yeah, it's just like I'm not with, like it's my nature just to like get back to good communication, to yeah, right, be really try to be really clear. And then, yeah, I feel like, well, I certainly don't write the contracts, like, um, well, I certainly don't write the contracts, um, you know, it does. Having that experience, I think it doesn't you know it's.

Speaker 4

It's a positive too yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure, yeah that's.

Navigating Surrogacy Laws and Compensation

Speaker 2

Sometimes it'd be easier to ask somebody I already trust, rather than my lawyer not saying I don't trust my lawyer. I've had lawyers I don't trust. So I mean, if I trust you more, I'm going to be like can I ask your opinion? Like, is this normal? Is this not normal? Because sometimes I don't know if I, you know, I'm going to ask you this because you're an intended parent. So sometimes as a surrogate, I always felt like I was being judged by things when I didn't understand things in a contract or if I wanted to change something in it. Like, how dare you want to change my contract, or something like that. Like, is that something that an IP sometimes maybe feels, or not really?

Speaker 3

I mean I as the intended parent, I would rather, if you don't understand something, I would rather you say can you explain this? Or you know like it's in our best interest for everyone, for everyone to understand and be on the same page. So that's not no I, I wouldn't see that as as problematic. I think it think contracts are Mumbo jumbo. Yeah, a little bit, and I feel like sometimes the attorneys, they're doing their jobs and advocating for whoever they're representing, and sometimes each side kind of views that as coming from either the intended parent or the surrogate, when it's really the lawyer right, the attorney's advocating. And so you know, I do think sometimes as the agency, I can step in and say, hey, like you know, I'm not, you know, doing the negotiations, I'm not part of that, but you know.

Speaker 2

I'm not part of that, but you know, let's maybe take a take a pause and and just think about.

Speaker 4

You know that this might just be a case of you know where the attorneys are advocating to the best of their abilities, for, yeah, they're part of that.

Speaker 2

Yeah, they've been through a lot more journeys than right, like a surrogate or an intended parent most of the time, because this is what they do for a living. So they've seen things and oftentimes they put they put in precautionary measures in case the worst happened, which I appreciate. But then at the same time you know you're like, well, that's not going to happen, like I don't want that, that's an icky thing to put in there, and it's like, well, you'll be thankful. But then, if it, does God forbid happen.

Speaker 3

Then it's there and yeah, so, yeah, exactly, yeah, no, we, in terms of yeah, when it comes to the legal phase, I will present you know, the intended parents on the surrogate, with at least two options of possible attorneys, like I, okay, um, you know, I, I say these are attorneys who have experience in this area. They are part of you know, the uh, our associations that deal with, you know, adoption and surrogacy, etc. But you know, you guys to, you know, I'm not funneling you to a specific attorney or whatnot. So, yeah, that's kind of how we do it. And then, yeah, I love it.

Speaker 2

I love your whole story. Yeah, it's fun. Whole story. Yeah, it's it's fun. And the fact that you went through this process yourself 12 years ago and see how much, on a daily basis, is changed, I mean it's. Yeah, it's got to be it's. I mean, I know from 22 years ago my mom had triplets and like that's a drastic change. But even I feel like when I started what five, six, seven years ago, it's still a drastic change. So one thing definitely with is which I'm so grateful for.

Speaker 3

The advance of genetic testing of embryos Wasn't a thing with our daughter, it was with our son. So just the three years, wow, yeah, so, um, wow, yeah, I mean yeah, so I feel like that, just telling us you can attest, you know, yeah, they graded him Right.

Speaker 4

You go A through.

Speaker 3

F yeah. So again the F yeah.

Speaker 4

So again, the you put in one genetically tested awesome embryo instead of you know four and get three Right.

Speaker 3

Crazy, so that's a big thing. Um, you know, and, and really I would say, the perspective of surrogate-based compensation, you know, from 12 years ago to where it is today, I would say, is another you know big big change. Yeah, but you know, that's.

Speaker 4

Are you in agreement with that big change, or like, what are my thoughts? So a little bit, you don't have to go totally into it. I'm just curious because it it is huge, it's huge, it's a big. It kind of puts some people out of being able to do surrogacy. We say that all the time. It precludes people who really, really need the service from doing it. And yet surrogates have to be compensated. But yet, okay, when is enough right?

Speaker 3

Yeah, I mean the moment recently where I could feel my blood pressure going up was, um, on a one, a facebook page, there was a intended parent who said you know, we, we were presented with, we were with an agency, we were presented with a profile and it was a first-time surrogate. Who's asking for $120,000.

Speaker 4

That's way high for a first yeah.

Speaker 3

First time surrogate. I was thinking there's just no way. You know that, yeah, and I mean I'd be honest if that was a surrogate came to me saying that I, I, I would, I would have to say listen, you're more than welcome to you. Know what, what number that that you feel is what you're thinking of, but unfortunately I don't think that I would be able to find you a match with intended parents, so I wouldn't want to waste your time, or you know, wow, yeah.

Speaker 2

I do want to put this out there real quick. As someone who has had my starting compensation to what I have now as a fourth time surrogate, it's very, very, very different and I could never imagine getting what I would be getting compensated for my fourth time versus my first time. I that's. I understand that wouldn't be a thing. However, I do know that being compensated more often comes with a. Oftentimes it would have to be of someone of uh, maybe NDAs are signed, have to be of someone of maybe NDAs are signed. There's a lot more that comes into play.

Speaker 2

The higher compensation that you're looking for oftentimes and it really sometimes does not it's not worth it, like it's not worth the headaches and all of the legalities that are extra with it all. So it is a very interesting. It is an interesting topic. We talk about it a lot. You really have to do your research and figure out what are your core requirements. Yeah, your core requirements Like if that's not like an absolute must. Then you're going to be able to put yourself in a bigger, in a bigger pool with other people, and there you know there won't be as many restrictions.

Speaker 2

I just want to throw that out there. I'm not saying that you shouldn't ask for what you think that you should ask, but there are things that come with everything.

Speaker 4

That is more of a high profile client too, if you think about that it's it's more on that end, especially if you're doing it first time and you're asking for those Exactly, but this did not sound like a high profile intended parent.

Speaker 1

Yeah Poor thing she was on Facebook, yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

That's heartbreaking for the intended parents. Even though I'm on the surrogate side, my heart breaks for the intended parents because they're throwing everything into this. Money doesn't grow on trees, it's, you know. I wish everybody could have the family they wanted. Do you know what I mean? You didn't have to fight and go broke for it. Yeah, yeah. We'll get your house All that. It's hard to watch sometimes. Not everybody's in that position of making $300,000 a year that can afford this Right.

Speaker 3

On the other hand, I do, when I, you know, my initial meet and greet with potential intended parents. I I do explain that location, um, where the surrogate lives. There, there is variance in terms of base compensation, um, so you know a surrogate that lives in a state that has amazing surrogacy laws and no laws that limit termination Right there's a value to that you know, yeah, that's wild yes.

Speaker 2

Can I ask you a question now that you just brought that up? I'm curious do you have a lot of surrogates in Texas or are they elsewhere? Because I know the laws have changed there. Laws have changed.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I mean, we do Okay.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm just curious. That's very interesting. Is that a fear of intended parents?

Speaker 3

That's a whole different ballgame now have, um, they're very savvy to know which states you know, um, not only are the ideal, but ones that are no good. Like very common for me to hear from intended parents. Yeah, you know, unfortunately. We know that surrogacy laws in Texas are great in terms of getting pre-birth orders, but you know the limits that we have in Texas on the ability to terminate a pregnancy.

Speaker 4

It's just for some intended parents, it's just it's something they're not going to risk because they yeah, it's their child and they have to be the ones who decide yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3

Um so yeah, it's one of those initial conversations that um that we get into and I, I, I truly, when it comes to I call them non-negotiables, like they're. They're truly. There's no right and wrong to any of this. Um, but you know, um, these are things that I feel like people. It's. It's really helpful when I talked to intended parents and surrogates and they're very clear about certain requirements. So, yeah, that's.

Speaker 4

Because you never think you're going to be faced with any of that until you're faced with it, and then the hard decisions have to be made. Or you signed a contract and you're forced into it, thinking it, then the hard decisions have to be made. Or you signed a contract and you're forced into it, thinking it would never, ever happen to you. And that's happened. So that's scary.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

I mean I will say in terms of um, and and back to the discussion about genetic testing, um, you know, on on the positive side, um transferring genetically tested embryos.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Advice for Intended Parents

Speaker 3

It doesn't mean that you know if you get pregnant that everything's going to be fine, but I do feel like, as much as you can, you're creating the healthiest baby possible. And so, you know, um, there are intended parents that they've said, you know, you've done the genetic testing and we feel, okay, we're still comfortable. Um, so, yeah, um, I will say intended parents who already live in Texas. Or, you know, I connect pretty frequently with intended parents who live in Louisiana, which is also, you know, but it's, you know, pretty close to Houston. So if you're again in Texas or close to Texas, I think it's it's more of an option. Um, but yeah, it's, it's definitely been a transition. So, yeah, yeah, oh do you have um?

Speaker 2

do you have any advice for any intended parent or anybody that's going to start their surrogacy journeys?

Speaker 3

And I see this every day, again, looking through the Facebook posts do your homework before really getting in the nitty gritty of matching, whether it's you know what kind of agency you want. The fertility clinic you're working with, um, I mean, it's such a huge, huge part of it. But feeling good about the clinic, um, escrow, feeling comfortable with you know, and escrow, feeling comfortable with you know, understanding how the financial part of this works, what's you know, how it should, how, again, how I feel like the process should work with the finances in terms of you know you talked to an agency that does in-house escrow, so you know. Just again, doing your homework to know you know what some red flags are and even things that aren't red flags, but what you're looking for you know, in terms of an agency, or you know a clinic, or the process, cause, um, you know, once you do reach out, things can go really quickly. So, um, really quick.

Speaker 3

So I never, you know, um, I always feel bad when things pop up and it, you know, it feels like well, you know, this convert, you know you were supposed to have this conversation with this person and and that didn't happen. And now we're here and I'm I'm sorry about that, but and now we're here and.

Speaker 3

I'm I'm sorry about that, but um doesn't get easy. Yeah Right, just, you know, um, do your research and and take your time and um don't be afraid to. I feel like a lot of times the first tendency is just to you know kind of, if there are issues that pop up, just to kind of put them to the side. And sometimes they're still kind of in the back of the line, and you know, I feel like that's as the agency, like my job is to give either side the opportunity to again come to us and say, hey, this is on my mind and like what you know, what can we do about this? Or what solutions can we come up with? Or you know some, you know, this person told me this is that correct? And or what, asking me what I think about this, and so yeah, don't let it fester.

Speaker 4

Be right to address the situation. It could be something little that snuggles and it's creating all kinds of problems rather than dealing with it. It was just a misunderstanding or a miscommunication. It happens all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 3

And there just has to be next level of communication during the Agreed Any surrogacy journey, because it takes a lot of people to and you're in a very intimate setting and you really are.

Speaker 4

you become part of each other's lives very, very quickly. It's quicker than dating Like you're a lot more intimate, a lot more intimate, yeah, and then it's over, like, like you know, it doesn't not. You know what I'm saying? The main process is over. There could be the relationship, but it's a weird dynamic and you have to learn how to navigate it.

Speaker 3

Yeah, exactly, wow, and having again, you know, a third neutral party kind of there to kind of mediate or bounce things off of or whatnot. I do think there is value in that. For sure, um, some people are super comfortable with you know the intended parents and surrogates can have those difficult conversations, but I feel like I like to think that having a third party helps maintain the relation, you know the good relationships between the surrogate and the intended parents, cause then there's a third party kind of out there, kind of being the setting the boundaries, delivering the hard truths right, talking people down.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, if that makes sense, sense, it totally makes sense, it makes perfect sense yeah, so so yeah, that, those third off the top of my head, those are my yep, it's good advice yeah, great advice, thank you wow, well, I just, I just have to say your story is beautiful. I love it.

Speaker 2

Carrie speaks volumes of you. So thank you, carrie, for letting us know who the agency was, because every time she's always positive about you. Thank you, thank you, thank you Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1

Where can people?

Speaker 2

find you like reach you. Thank you absolutely. Thank you so much. Where can people find you like reach out to you if they're interested? I know you. I know you do small amount of cases but you know yeah, definitely.

Speaker 3

Well, you can always reach out um via um. Our website is um. It's long. It's payingitforwardsurrogacycom. And also you can email me at Beth at payingitforwardsurrogacycom. Okay, awesome, those are the best ways. We're also on Instagram, payingitforwardsurrogacy and on Facebook payingitforwardsurrogacy.

Speaker 4

That name wasn't taken. You got to use it because it wasn't taken. It's an awesome name, love it. Like I said, it's so cool. Everything just like came back full circle. It's just, it makes it such. You're such a cool person, but just the whole thing. And then you named your agency paying it forward, like wait a minute. So just all really good, good vibes. I love it, thank you.

Speaker 3

Thank you.

Speaker 2

Well, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us. Thank you both.

Speaker 4

This has been awesome. I'm sorry I had mic issues. I will correct that next time. Not at all.

Speaker 3

This is lovely. I appreciate your time.

Closing Thoughts and Contact Information

Speaker 2

We appreciate yours, thank you so much, thank you so much. Have a great evening. Thank you, you guys too. Take care, good luck.

Speaker 4

Wow, that was phenomenal. Oh my God, that's the way to do it. I don't know. She was an intended parent. She opened an agency and then she hired a surrogate, like wait a minute Like so cool, she didn't just hire any surrogate, she hired Carrie. She hired Carrie, I know she hired Carrie, not just any surrogate yeah, who just flawlessly does surrogacy? Just amazing. That small heck. Yeah, I love it. I mean she may, she may decide to get a little bit bigger, but she, I would want to work with her, like right.

Speaker 2

well, you know that things are going to get answered. You know that you're going to be taken care of. You know that you're going to be seen. I know you're going to be watched over. You know that you're going to be trusted, protected, all the things, because you're not going to get lost in the big pond.

Speaker 4

And she's so passionate about Like she look at all the things she's been trained in. She could have done numerous things and she decided to come back to this. It's so important. Yeah, I love it. So thank you for being with us. It was lovely, lovely talk.

Speaker 2

Amazing. Thank you so much, beth. If anybody has any questions or stories they would like to share, please feel free to reach out to us on Instagram at Stop Period Sit Period Surrogate, or you can email us at Stop Period Sit Period Surrogate at gmailcom.

Speaker 4

It's been another edition of Stop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Thanks everybody, bye, bye. If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a like and subscribe. Also, check out the link to our YouTube channel in the description and be sure to also check out our children's book my Mom has Superpowers, sold on Amazon and Etsy.