Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
A mother and daughter podcast educating others on surrogacy from a surrogates point of view. And the point of view from the intended parents, children born from surrogacy, the agency, legal professionals and IVF doctors for the science behind it all. Together we have brought 8 beautiful children into this world and it’s been an insane rollercoaster ride! Good and bad, the sweet and the sour, all coming to light about the truths behind the best and worst surrogacy journeys. Stop. Sit. Surrogate. Is a podcast that is able to give well rounded information about surrogacy from every point of view. We hope to give as much education as we can provide, to those who want to learn and know more about surrogacy.
Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
(Ashleigh Part 2) This Surrogate Mother Survived a Medical Nightmare to Deliver Joy
#surrogacy #ivf #surrogate
Ashleigh’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/surro_ashleigh?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==://www.instagram.com/surrornsara?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
In this gripping continuation of Ashleigh's surrogate story, we witness a journey that defied medical odds and revealed the profound resilience of human connection. After two successful surrogate pregnancies, Ashleigh' embarks on a third journey with the same intended parents, carrying their final embryo and last hope for completing their family.
What begins as a routine pregnancy quickly spirals into a medical nightmare when genetic testing yields a false positive for trisomy 13, followed by ruptured membranes at just 16 weeks gestation. Doctors deliver the devastating news: prepare for imminent loss. Yet somehow, against all medical expectations, the pregnancy continues.
Ashleigh's candid account takes us through six weeks of home bedrest, three weeks hospitalized an hour from her family, and the heart-wrenching reality of being unable to care for her own children while fighting to save someone else's baby. The story beautifully highlights the village that forms around her – a devoted mother-in-law stepping in as full-time caregiver, an intended mother providing unwavering support, and medical professionals navigating uncharted waters alongside them.
The dramatic birth story itself – complete with a failed induction, a baby who flips breech during labor, and an unplanned unmedicated delivery – serves as the climactic final challenge before the miracle arrives: a healthy 7-pound baby boy born at 36 weeks.
Perhaps most touching is the deep bond formed through shared adversity, culminating in the intended parents naming their son after Ashleigh– Asher, meaning "blessed" or "lucky one" in Hebrew. This powerful testament to human connection reminds us that surrogacy isn't simply a clinical arrangement but a profound journey of trust, vulnerability, and love.
Ready to hear more extraordinary surrogacy stories? Subscribe to Stop Sit Surrogate wherever you get your podcasts, and join our community on Instagram @stop.sit.surrogate to continue the conversation about the beautiful complexity of creating families through surrogacy.
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Welcome. We are a mother-daughter podcast about all things surrogacy. Together, we have brought eight beautiful babies into this world and we would like to share through education and knowledge about surrogacy with those who want to educate themselves on the topic. This is Stop Sit Surrogate.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, welcome back to part two of Ashley's surrogate story. Okay, so then. How quickly so, kate did she come to you in three months.
Speaker 3:We talked about it and we all kind of just decided like, let's pause, we're good. I wanted some time to spend with my family to you know, heal they were in the thick of the newbornness and so we were all just kind of like, let's just, we'll wait, we'll wait. We all know that we're we're matched already and everything's going to be fine. So when everybody's ready we're good to go Um. And I'm so glad we took that time because I think two back-to-back pregnancies was really hard on my body. Um, the doctors did say that like the placental issue I had was probably a viral related infection, probably why we had some decreased fetal movement when we did Um, and probably what saved baby is that we knew that that's what was happening, because my placenta probably would not have lasted lasted much longer Right If it just literally fell apart inside of you. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:Right, yeah, that's some intervention there. I don't know what you believe in, but that's some intervention that's crazy. That's that's the brother, that's the little baby boy Number one. That's him.
Speaker 3:And it's funny you say that because before I got my epidural no, we had we went in at 11 o'clock at night. He wasn't born until almost midnight the next day. And before I did my epidural the next day, I was like I want to eat, I want to take a shower, and then I'm good to go. And in that shower I am very much a believer that people who pass are still around us, and so I, you know, I said that baby's name and I said please make sure your brother is okay, please make sure your parents are okay, and let's get your brother here safely. And that that's what happened. So it is.
Speaker 4:I totally agree that he made sure his little brother was okay yes, sure he did doing his big brother duties yeah, exactly which made his mama okay, yeah, which made his mama okay, okay, from way back when that all happened, like mama was okay too, yeah okay, so when.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay so when. When do you go to you? When do you start this third journey?
Speaker 3:So I gave it about a year before I even reapplied and I had said to them I just want to get my portion out of the way so that we have no holdups when it's time to go. So they said that's fine. We let the surrogacy agency know we were going to be doing a sibling journey, so they weren't necessarily moving us to the matching stage. I did all of my background checks, my psyche eval, all got the records all set and that was in. I think that was in late 2023. So yeah, it was about a year 2023. So yeah, it was about a year.
Speaker 3:And then we kind of just were like, let's just hold off. Like you know, my both of my kids have winter birthdays. So I was like, let's get through those. Yeah, then it was my birthday and I was like let's get through that because, like, who knows what my birthday will look like next year? I'd like to be able to enjoy this one. Um, because I had been pregnant for like pretty much the previous two and um. So then we did medical screening in june of 2024 and transferred july 25th of last year.
Speaker 3:Wow, just about a year ago, you transferred just about, yeah, almost exactly a year ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, from when we're recording, but, yeah yeah, oh so sorry from when we're recording.
Speaker 4:I'm so sorry, okay, um yeah, the magic of television or video right, okay, television, yes, television, dream gentlemen, dream, wow, wow and that took yeah, and so they obviously created another embryo right, because they only had yes, okay, they only had one.
Speaker 3:So the way that the insurance coverage works for IVF in Massachusetts when you're using a surrogate is that when you transfer an embryo, when you transfer your last embryo, you can start the process to do another retrieval. So he and I were on IVF meds at the same time because I was preparing for transfer transferring in my first trimester while she was doing the medication for egg retrieval and in I think they said they've done five rounds of IVF. They had two embryos and they were incredibly lucky to get what they were able to get and thankfully they both turned into beautiful, healthy little boys. But she was also ready to keep going if she needed to, even though it's a very hard process on her body.
Speaker 3:It's a hard process on everyone's body, but especially with everything she's been through, it was really difficult, and so they already had that embryo created and frozen, ready to go for. When we were ready, um partially because she wanted to make sure that egg was as young as it could be for, hopefully, better outcomes Um, which worked amazing.
Speaker 2:Wow, and that, how did that pregnancy go? Wow, and how did that pregnancy go? Uh-oh, we're laughing.
Speaker 3:Well, we like to joke that this little boy was fought for from the start. So again, they had to move their embryo. When they did so, the embryologist had already gone home for the day, and so the embryo was left on the front desk of the IVF clinic for a while. I'm not exactly sure how long, but the embryo was, I believe, flown from Boston to Connecticut I don't think it was driven and then delivered and just left on the desk. Thankfully, embryo storage is wonderful and he was perfectly safe to be there for even longer than he was. But we had a joke like this kid has just already had a journey. We even had a little bit of a battle with transfer dates Because, like I said earlier, we were very clear that like we wanted everything to stay the same and the clinic was pushing back on transfer days, so we had transferred. I believe it was like day 24, the first time they were trying to push us to day 30.
Speaker 2:That's a big difference.
Speaker 3:23 or 25, that's workable.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. And we were very much like, obviously, a day or two. We understand if it's like it would have fallen on a Friday and the you know the office wasn't open or it was going to be a Saturday, something like that. That's understandable, but also no one could give us a reason as to why it was being toyed with um. We finally won um and and the doctor was like fine, whatever. And we both kind of had a moment of vindication where we're like hot, it worked, um, awesome. Because he was like well, this is our, this is our protocol, so I can't be held responsible, it doesn't work and okay whatever, okay, so thankfully it did and
Speaker 3:the first few weeks of that pregnancy were great, they were easy. I think I started feeling like some morning sickness around week eight or so, um, and then things get weird. Um, so we they didn't test any of their embryos before we transferred, so they didn't know about any genetic stuff, they didn't know the sex of the baby or anything, um. So we were going to do the niptT test. I couldn't wait because I just wanted to know. And they were also like that's fine. So I went and bought one of those sneak peek tests that they sell online or like at Walgreens or something, and I did the home collection, sent it away and it came back inconclusive. It's supposed to be effective starting at week like nine, I think, something like that. So I was like, okay, this is strange.
Speaker 3:So we go in at week 10 for the official NIPT test. That also comes back inconclusive. Not enough fetal DNA for either the fetal sex or any of the genetic things they were testing for. So the doctor said we're going to wait two weeks, we'll try again. Okay, should have some sort of result by then, okay, and we're not thinking anything other than we want to know if it's a boy or a girl. The mom was very convinced it was a girl, to the point where she had her named and, like they, they already knew like everything that was going to happen should have been a girl.
Speaker 3:Well, we do the test at week 12. It comes back, of course, on a Sunday morning and I had promised them I wouldn't open the results without them. So I get the notification that the results are in and I FaceTime them and we open them and we see a big positive for trisomy 13 at the top and all I had anticipated seeing was consistent with male, consistent with female, everything else fine. We all just kind of our faces all fell and I didn't know enough about the genetic conditions to really know what that meant. So of course, we all start Googling, because that's what everybody does. Yeah, it's not great, it's not great.
Speaker 2:And Dr Google is terrible.
Speaker 3:Trisomy 13, from what we were learning, is not one that is always compatible with life, right? So these poor parents were going through potentially yet again another loss, right? We called the hospital, paged the doctors page, doctors page, genetic counselors um, to which no one had really reviewed the results because, as we know, in this country we have a right to our medical records. Oftentimes we get results before doctors get results. Yeah, and this is one of those instances where we really wish that they had the results first, so they could have said to us yes, there is a positive. However, the positive like percentage was so low that, like, it probably wasn't real.
Speaker 3:At that point, we'd already had our 12-week ultrasound and everything looked great. Yeah, so we had no indications that this baby had any sort of genetic abnormalities, um, and so we had no indications that this baby had any sort of genetic abnormalities, um, and so we had said what are next steps? And then next steps with that is an amniocentesis which I never had before. I'd never been that level of high risk, um, and at this point I'm 13 weeks pregnant and I said how soon can we do it? 16 weeks, okay, we're all sitting there for three weeks, three weeks on pins and needles.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was the longest three weeks of any of our lives. At that point we did not know what was going to happen. Um, so we go in 16 weeks, three days. We do this amnio. Even the doctors like this is a textbook amnio, everything looks great so far. They did an early anatomy scan and they were like he looks fine, like we're not seeing anything we would normally see with a trisomy 13 pregnancy. But we'll wait for the amnio to come back. So I go home with instructions to just take it easy. I don't have to be on bed rest, but no bending, no lifting, just kind of rest.
Speaker 3:It was about 1030 that night. I woke up leaking amniotic fluid and yeah, and I lost it. I completely freaked out, immediately got into my car, drove to the hospital, calling my intended parents. It is the one time I've ever not been able to reach them. Oh no, I don't know why, but like and they even had my number on emergency bypass, so like it should have been ringing very loudly and for some reason I couldn't get through. The OB that was on for that night, you know, first was just like I'm sure it's fine. Like you know, it's probably nothing. They do the test it's positive for amniotic fluid. They do the test.
Speaker 2:It's positive for amniotic fluid to at which point they sat me down and said I've never seen a 16 week rupture turn out, okay, so oh, thank you right, it's now after midnight and and I'm like what, what does that mean?
Speaker 3:and you know, he said you need to go home and prepare for the worst. We could keep you overnight if want, but there's really nothing more we're going to do than just monitor. Most likely within the next week you will go into labor and, and I don't remember walking out of the hospital, I don't remember driving home, yeah, shocked, I don't even know how I got home safely. And then the next morning, when they finally woke up, saw that I had called probably about nine times in the course of an hour. She didn't even call me back before. She was in her car on the way to my house and she just like she just knew something was wrong. Yeah, um, and we were able to get squeezed into mfm calendar. Literally she was like I'm picking you up, we're going right to the hospital.
Speaker 3:The the doctor who did the amnio checked my fluid was low, but it wasn't dangerously low. So you know. Then we go into a room, you know, of course we, we hear the heartbeat and we're both in tears Like thank God, he's okay, we're all right for right now. Um, and we kind of from there, made a plan of. I went on almost complete bed rest, which is not really indicated most of the time. But the doctor's hope was that with bed rest, hopefully in a week or two, the rupture would seal itself. Amniotic fluid would replace itself. We would go on to have a very normal pregnancy from there on out, with more monitoring of course. But that didn't happen.
Speaker 3:Um, I was on bed rest at home for six weeks, okay, um, I could not take care of my kids, I was only. Of course I was sleeping downstairs. My shower was upstairs. I was only, like, allowed to shower like twice a week, because going up and down the stairs was considered dangerous. Um was using a shower chair when I was able to shower, because they wanted me to limit the time on my feet.
Speaker 3:Um, my intended mom and my mother-in-law basically were at my house whenever my husband wasn't there, so that I was never alone, and I'm so thankful for both of them, because my biggest concern was obviously the baby, but then it was also my children and making sure that their lives weren't any more disruptive than they were going to be. We were doing ultrasounds at first twice a week. Then we were able to kind of stretch them to once a week, which was really hard. We were both very anxious, but we were able to kind of get to that point until we hit 22 weeks and finally our doctor said we're going to need to admit you to the hospital. You've hit viability. We need you in the hospital in case you deliver oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:So potentially be there until you're like 37, 38 weeks, but you have babies at home.
Speaker 3:the goal was 34 um. Anything over 20, I think they had said anything over 26 would have been considered like really, really great, given where we were at my area hospital that had been managing all of my care for my previous four pregnancies has a really great NICU, but their NICU cannot accommodate babies younger than 32 weeks, so I was transferred to a different hospital, how far?
Speaker 3:Well, and I'm sure you guys know this, you know, similarly with California, in Boston we don't really calculate in miles, it's minutes, because Boston to Boston can take an hour. Um, I was about an hour away from home, okay, on a good day, wow so wow and it was the month of december oh no, that's your baby's birthday.
Speaker 4:That's christmas, oh man yeah oh my, who is stepping in at your house, ashley? Who's stepping in?
Speaker 3:and stepping up. My mother-in-law was there from the moment my husband had to leave for work, which was like seven o'clock in the morning, until he would get home at night, which was like 6.37 at night. She was cleaning my house, she was picking up my kids from school, she was doing everything she really and you know, we kind of talked about the fact that she had just retired in September and now it's December and she's stepping into this role to, you know, beat grandma of the year here.
Speaker 3:And you know I am so thankful that she was able to do that, because it really allowed me to not worry as much as I could about the things that were going on at home.
Speaker 2:Obviously, there was always been some worry and you know, my kids were able to come in on the weekends and you know school vacation, but it really was, I would see them two days a week.
Speaker 3:know school vacation, but it really was, I would see them two days a week, and just during visiting hours and then, other than that, it was just.
Speaker 4:This might not be a nice, not a nice question, but how's your husband? Is he a little, I want to say, resentful? Is he just like what is happening?
Speaker 3:He is so thankful that everyone's okay, that and and I think at that point and I've even like I've been doing my own therapy from you know everything that's happened because I'm like I need to be able to process this Um, we all were just existing in such a state of survival mode that nobody really had a chance to fully allow ourselves to feel what we were feeling. We were just so focused on we need another day, we need another week, we need another month, and it was. It was truly just wow, we made it work. He has frequently said to me that like that will be the last journey and I'm like I think, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't get cleared.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we are done, yeah, but I think, like the universe has also made it so that we are done, um, understood, and you know I had been in the hospital for exactly a week when I started bleeding um, to which they said it was potentially a mild placental abruption, and we started steroids right away just in case. Because that that point again, the doctors are like you're going to deliver, we want to give this baby the best chance we can. And two weeks later I was going home because something happened in that later. Yeah, that was December 13th, because now every Friday, the 13th we like have a little chat, me and the intended mom, and we're like we're both good, right, everybody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I went home a couple days before New Year. So it was like just just over two weeks later the rupture had sealed and I was home Totally miraculous. Just just over two weeks later, the rupture had sealed and I was home, um, totally miraculous. I don't understand at all, but because I had been leaking at that point for eight weeks, um, no infections, baby was fine. Fluid never dropped to super dangerous levels other than this, yeah, that's the other than this like mild placental abruption, which then never caused any other issues. So they confirmed it was a mild placental abruption. That was confirmed.
Speaker 4:They could see like a tiny little bit of lifting, okay um, which then reattached itself yeah, because people would say maybe it's a, you know, sub hematoma, like a little thing from the IVF. Okay, yeah. So like wow, you were just getting boom, boom, boom.
Speaker 3:It was literally just one thing after the another. Going back to the amnio, it was a false positive, so we went through all of that for nothing. Baby's totally fine. He's healthy. Every chromosome is perfectly matched um when you go homeley?
Speaker 4:are you on bed rest at home?
Speaker 3:yeah, okay, okay, but at least you're home, like yeah, at least I'm home at that point I was like I don't care if all I can do is go to the bathroom. Yeah, that's my only getting out of bed. At least I'm home, right, perfect, yeah, so we that that. Like it was about three and a half weeks I was in the hospital and that was felt like it was a lot. It felt like a year, um, and at that point we were, we were back and forth in and out of boston for appointments. We were at my neighborhood hospital as well, because they didn't want me in and out of boston multiple times a they were like we'll agree to once a week, but I also couldn't drive, so I was taking Ubers once a week into Boston. Thankfully my agency paid for that Because, also being on bedrest, I couldn't work, I couldn't do anything.
Speaker 4:When you say agency paid for it. Hold on back up just a little bit. Agency paid for the Uber rides. Yes, the surrogacy agency reimbursed for all of the rides, not your intended parents, not my intended parents, yep.
Speaker 3:Fantastic. Okay, our agency has what's called like an all-in protection plan, where it was like an all-inclusive sort of intended parents pay one flat rate and everything that happens is covered.
Speaker 3:oh nice so it did take a little negotiating for certain things, um getting like lost wages. There was a little bit of back and forth because they paid for me to be out of work in 20 weeks and in the midst of all of this I started my own private practice and never enrolled in the Massachusetts paid federal leave Because apparently small businesses have to do that and I just didn't. So I wasn't eligible to get that while I was on bedrest, and so the agency did pay me lost wages. They reimbursed me for rides to medical appointments. Um I was able to hire a housekeeper to help with the housework. Um. My mother-in-law was reimbursed for child care, so they really did take care of us. Um, glad to hear it. After some negotiation we'll say yeah, yeah yeah, yeah so what?
Speaker 4:how far do you get with him? How many weeks?
Speaker 3:we were induced. I went in to be a deuce at 36. 3 because, plot twist, at 34 weeks I had too much fluid oh, jesus lord, help me yeah, um, and it was just once.
Speaker 3:It was literally. We had an ultrasound on monday at one hospital. We had an ultrasound on friday at the other hospital and my fluid doubled and we were like what's happening here? And they were like you don't have gestational diabetes, do you? And I said no, I passed with flying colors and they said we would like to just take your blood sugar just to be sure. When was the last time you ate Like that can help us calculate where your number should be?
Speaker 3:And it was, my blood sugar was fine, but once we got to 34 weeks, the doctors were kind of like every week at this point is a blessing and we're going to go as far as we can. A blessing, yeah, and we're gonna go as far as we can. But really, 36, 37 is probably where we're gonna end up. Okay, delivering um. So we went in um. Actually, on his parents fifth wedding anniversary, we went to be induced, which was, uh, march 17th, and our first induction failed. Failed, oh yeah, because just perfectly in line with how the pregnancy went, so did induction um, because I was, you don't start dilating, you don't start having contractions no, I know, but it's okay.
Speaker 2:I know they normally like amp up the pitocin and stuff.
Speaker 3:Right, and everyone had been saying fifth delivery, you're gonna be in and out, right, yeah, like this is gonna be and he's gonna be a small baby.
Speaker 3:Like he's early, this is gonna be fine, you'll barely even feel it. Um, not true? Um, so I we go in and and we did cytotec again, like I mentioned with the other, the other inductions. We started with that and that worked a little bit. Then we did a balloon to try to help my cervix also start to dilate and we got to. Between the balloon that fell out on its own, started some Pitocin. It got to six centimeters. We were like awesome, we went from a zero to a six. Fantastic, we're doing great.
Speaker 3:So I get my epidural. I'm like awesome, we're gonna get things rolling. And the doctor said we're gonna break your water. This should be easy. It's already been broken before. Let's just it'll be fine. So the doctor says, okay, I'm gonna go grab. It's a teaching hospital. I'm gonna go grab the residents. I'll get a couple of the extra nurses just in case. Like things could move quickly from there. We don't know, I want everyone to be ready. So doctor checks positioning. She's like, yep, he's head down. We're great, golden, I'll go get everybody. I'll get what supplies I need. We'll break your water. He should be delivered before I'm off my shift tomorrow morning.
Speaker 3:Oh no, she had been out of the room for maybe a minute and a half and I I'm completely numb at this point. I can't feel anything other than like some movement, some pressure. And I looked out of my stomach and I could see the fetal monitor just go like this. And then I looked over at the screen and I was like that was a lot of movement and his mom goes. He didn't and he flipped. He had been head down ready to go super low for weeks and in that moment he flipped. Having as many deliveries as I've had and being in this world, I you know, dr wuxin we were like I think we've got a problem. Don't do that. Before you double check, they bring in the ultrasound, you know. And he definitely flipped. I have never seen a doctor look so defeated in a moment.
Speaker 3:He checked with ultrasound, she, she did an internal check and she just goes. And I said so are we gonna do an ECV or what? And she goes do you feel up to that? And I said this epidural is working, let's go, yeah. So we had the doctor, we had a resident, we might have had two nurses, there were a lot of people in the room, um, and so she flipped him and immediately broke my water. She said that should hold him in place, got me a belly binder, so like there really wasn't much movement, yeah, and they were like, okay, well, we're just gonna keep amping up the pitocin and and you know, things should start moving pretty quickly from here.
Speaker 3:And then nothing happened. I was having contractions, but they were pitocin induced contractions, yeah, and not real ones. Um, and now that my water's broken, we're not doing as many internal checks to make sure, and so, um, and I've had an epidural, so now I can't eat, I can't get up, I can't do anything, and that is the whole next day. They do two checks. I'm still stuck at a six. She has to go home. Obviously, it's the next morning, shift change happens. Next doctor comes on. I am maxed out on Pitocin. We are, we're doing as much as we can at this point and it's just not working.
Speaker 4:And you have no amniotic fluid. You're, you're, you're, you're working on that clock now because she forgets, okay.
Speaker 3:Yep, we finally hit. The night shift comes on and we have kind of a team huddle. Now at this point my water has been broken for 24 hours and that's usually the golden rule of like you need to deliver now. Um, and so the doctor had said we've got a couple options. One we take you back for a C-section right now. Two we take you back for a C-section in a couple hours, oh geez. Three, we stop everything, let you rest, let you eat, let you shower. Four, and try again in the morning. And I said how is that an option? Yeah, I thought we like had hit our clock. We're like, we're, we're done. And and the doctor said well, we will keep an eye on you should anything change. You're going to be on continuous fetal monitoring, even if it's wireless. You will be on the monitor, make sure baby's okay. We will be taking your temperature every few hours to make sure you don't spike a fever. You're not having any issues, but we'll try again in the morning, if that's what you want.
Speaker 3:And I said I choose that option yeah yeah, I was like I just I had done four deliveries without having a c-section. I really didn't want a c-section, obviously knowing if that's what we needed, that's what we needed. But I just said like, if this is an option where we can wait, like let's give it a little bit of time, um, because our mom and dad on board with that option?
Speaker 4:Okay, okay.
Speaker 3:They were really wonderful in letting me make most of the decisions Um to which I always threw it back to them to say.
Speaker 3:like most of the decisions, to which I always threw it back to them to say like we're a team, we're making this decision together and I think that's honestly why that relationship works so well is that nobody was ever like a sole decider. Obviously, if it really came down to it, it was my body. I was responsible for all the choices, but I wanted them to be a part of that. If they had said we're really scared, I would have consented to a C-section. But they also felt very confident with the doctor saying that we could hold off for a little bit. Our original doctor was back on in the morning and she had been the doctor that had been with us since I was admitted. So we felt better knowing that like she would be there in the morning and she had been the doctor that had been with us since I was admitted. So we felt better knowing that like she would be there in the morning and she was managing the care from there. And we took the night to rest. Everyone got as much sleep as we could, which honestly wasn't much, but it was something.
Speaker 3:And I, you know, had them take the epidural out so I could eat, take a shower, move around, because at that point I was like maybe the fact that I'm just laying here in bed is not helping. I wanted to be able to move and we started again in the morning. The doctor asked several times do you want another epidural? I said not, yet Every single time it did take a while for progression to happen.
Speaker 3:We started everything back up about nine in the morning and we really didn't notice any changes until, I want to say, like three or four in the afternoon, like I was starting to contract, but it really wasn't doing much yet. Um, until it got to a point where it was doing a lot and at that point the doctor said do you want an epidural? And I said I don't think I could hold still for once, so we're just gonna do this. Oh my gosh. Which is also why I think the universe is saying that I'm done because I had never experienced an unmedicated birth and mama, people who choose that are honestly my heroes. Because I can't, I can't do that again.
Speaker 3:It was a lot, yeah haven't even done one and I don't doesn't care, I don't dream of doing one had I like had the wherewithal to say, even like an hour or so earlier, like yeah, let's do this, I wouldn't have done it, but I did, and that was the thing so when is he born?
Speaker 4:so if three o'clock, things start ramping up what?
Speaker 3:what's the end?
Speaker 3:three oh no 6, 44 pm he was born oh that was from three yeah it was it was on and it was one of the longer times I had been pushing in a surrogacy. Like I said, my first surrogacy was like two pushes, the second was only a few. This was probably like 20 minutes of pushing, okay, I think, because I could feel it all. I was like, okay, I'm going to take a few more breaks here. Yeah, and there's actually a video. My intended mom has a pretty great TikTok following and, with my permission, she posted our birth video where her husband was filming it behind my head. Nothing in graphic is obviously being shown and it's really his point of view of watching her. Oh, that's sweet.
Speaker 3:And you know, the moment that the baby is out he's crying Like we're all just a mess, especially after everything we've all been through. Like he came out and screamed and the whole time we had been told he may have underdeveloped lungs, he might have breathing issues, he had such low fluid, he's being born early, like they were really. I know my intended parents were having very scary conversations that I was not a part of. Yeah, um, and so that was kind of being drilled in our heads the whole time, that like prepare for things to not look normal. Yeah, and it was totally normal. He came out screaming and he was seven pounds four ounces at just under 37 weeks. Like this baby would have been ginormous had we waited.
Speaker 2:Right Sure.
Speaker 4:And does your placenta. Do you have any problems with the placenta this time, or does it come out like it's?
Speaker 3:supposed to. You're good to go. Came out like it was supposed to we did send it away for testing.
Speaker 3:I did end up having a very mild infection, we think because of just how long my water had been broken, but I didn't end up having any symptoms. Baby was fine. So it was. You know. We wanted to know for sure, especially with the genetic test coming back. Yeah, maybe was the trisomy 13 in the placenta cells, or you know. Like we didn't know where any of this came from and it just ended up being this weird false positive. So scary.
Speaker 2:And that is scary.
Speaker 4:And then to have to go and have the amnio and then to go and have to have all that bedrest in a hospital, like it was just a chain of events that just from one little yeah. Scary. Very scary Well thank. God it had the outcome it did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and everybody's okay and safe and healthy.
Speaker 4:And did you go home 24 hours after that, or did you guys stay for a little bit?
Speaker 3:No, we stayed. So we started induction Monday morning. We all went home on. They went home Thursday night. I went home Friday. Okay, it's not horrible, especially cause I delivered Wednesday. So, they went home 24 hours after delivery. I did wait the full 48 that time just to be sure that everything was okay, and you know it.
Speaker 3:really that one was for sure the right choice because I, you know, I just think I needed a little extra time emotionally honestly to just be like I got to get it together before I go home to these kids and have my postpartum recovery Cause that's a whole other beginning.
Speaker 4:Let people bring you just sleep, let be quiet. Yeah, just do you, wow, wow. That was quite an ending.
Speaker 3:Yes, and that's why I say now we are retired, we are done. I really don't think, even if I wanted to, any clinic would approve me, just even though none of this was my fault or really any medical issues that were right caused by anything like a 30s. A pre-37 week delivery sometimes is, I guess, an exclusion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it just depends on the whole situation. I had a pre 37 and some clinics are like no, and some clinics are like okay, baby was healthy.
Speaker 3:Right so it just depends on the clinics.
Speaker 4:but wow, you have shared an awful lot and please and obviously I don't know if your mom's going to see this podcast, but thank her for allowing you to share, yeah, on her behalf. That, yeah, I I can't even imagine and look at the outcome, you guys are so patient baby boy, little boys and baby brother and big brothers watching over all of them because he made it all happen.
Speaker 3:For sure I do yeah they, uh, they kind of have this tradition of naming their children very significant names. So their older son is named after the doctor that saved her life and their younger son is named after me, which she told me Literally. We had just gotten the results back from the NIPT, said we're going to name him Asher, because we can't think of any better name for the person who created our family than than your name and come to find out in I don't remember. I think they're, they're Jewish and and I think it's in in Hebrew that name means like lucky one or something like that.
Speaker 3:so like, like that name just fits him. Yeah, and you know I feel really honored that he's carrying a name that honors me, but it's just, this is one of those things where, like everything happened and it's you know, this could be an episode or a whole season of Grey's Anatomy.
Speaker 4:Honestly, yes, yeah, for real 100% and I think all of that stuff that happened could have torn another pairing apart, but brought you all like where you're thick as thieves now and you're intertwined for life, for life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow yeah. That's incredible.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 4:Incredible. Thank you so much for taking all that time.
Speaker 2:I know, seriously, yeah, that's incredible, wow, Incredible. Thank you so much for taking all that I know Seriously. Thank you so much for taking so much time.
Speaker 3:And it's late where you are. Yeah, I mean, it's only 930. It's not too bad here, but I know anytime people are like, oh, tell us about your journey, I'm like, how long do you have?
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I think all three needed to be told the significant yeah, it needed to be told needed to be told the significant yeah.
Speaker 2:It needed to be told yeah, yeah, wow. So thank you so much, because this was a beautiful and wild story and all happy, healthy babies.
Speaker 4:I'm so excited. Yes. Thank goodness for that. Yeah, oh, whoopsie Well thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Have a, have a wonderful night and we'll see you on Instagram and everything.
Speaker 3:thank you so much have a have a wonderful night and we'll see you on. Thank you on instagram and everything.
Speaker 2:Yes, thank you so much. Thank you. Have a good evening, care. Yeah, you're welcome. Bye, bye, wow amazing wild it was beautiful very.
Speaker 4:There were some definitely uh, higher powers that were working on those, especially that last one. Really seriously, yeah, absolutely 100%. What courage, and thank you so much for sharing all of it, and we are really I'm very, very humbled and so honored to be able to share it on the podcast, I know it's a beautiful story, it's very, it has.
Speaker 2:It has. It has a lot of ups and downs, but in the end it was. It was beautiful. And what surrogacy is? Yes, yeah, 100%. Yeah, absolutely so. Thank you so much for sharing your story. If anybody would like to share their story or have questions, please feel free to reach out to us on Instagram at stop period sit period surrogate, or you can email us at stop period sit period surrogate at gmailcom. And this has been another episode of stops at surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Thanks.
Speaker 4:Bye, everyone. Bye. If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a like and subscribe. Also, check out the link to our YouTube channel in the description, and be sure to also check out our children's book my mom has superpowers, sold on Amazon and Etsy.