Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
A mother and daughter podcast educating others on surrogacy from a surrogates point of view. And the point of view from the intended parents, children born from surrogacy, the agency, legal professionals and IVF doctors for the science behind it all. Together we have brought 8 beautiful children into this world and it’s been an insane rollercoaster ride! Good and bad, the sweet and the sour, all coming to light about the truths behind the best and worst surrogacy journeys. Stop. Sit. Surrogate. Is a podcast that is able to give well rounded information about surrogacy from every point of view. We hope to give as much education as we can provide, to those who want to learn and know more about surrogacy.
Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
Mark Surrogacy Scandal: New Developments
The harrowing journey of surrogates caught in the Mark surrogacy scandal continues to unfold with stunning new revelations. One surrogate, now 38 weeks pregnant and days away from delivery, finds herself navigating treacherous legal waters without proper representation after her attorney abruptly switched sides to represent the intended parents instead.
What started as a beautiful journey of helping create families has transformed into a nightmare of legal manipulation, with the surrogate now facing pressure to sign 16 pages containing 59 amendments to her contract just before giving birth. The intended parents, currently under investigation with their existing children removed from their care, are making dubious claims about regaining custody while attempting to secure rights to this new baby.
Most shocking is the revelation that approximately 20 surrogates are connected to these same intended parents, with babies that may all be biological siblings. These women have formed their own remarkable support network, sharing information, resources, and even baby supplies as they prepare for the possibility of bringing these children home themselves rather than surrendering them to a questionable situation.
The emotional toll is palpable as our surrogate reveals she and her husband have named the baby Sophia Ray, torn between preparing a nursery and protecting herself from heartbreak. Meanwhile, attorneys seem compromised or inaccessible, leaving these women without adequate representation during their most vulnerable moment. One surrogate in another state has already been granted temporary custody of her baby pending further investigation, offering a glimmer of hope.
This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the critical importance of proper legal protection in surrogacy arrangements and the extraordinary resilience of women supporting each other through unprecedented circumstances. Whether you're considering surrogacy or simply care about reproductive rights and child welfare, this conversation offers crucial insights into what happens when the system fails those it should protect.
Welcome. We are a mother-daughter podcast about all things surrogacy. Together, we have brought eight beautiful babies into this world and we would like to share through education and knowledge about surrogacy with those who want to educate themselves on the topic. This is Stop Sit Surrogate.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate. I am flying solo today, but it's all good and we have an update on some Mark surrogacy scandal, I guess, information. So our friend, our dear friend, is back. What's going on, girl?
Speaker 3:is back. What's going on, girl? Hey everyone, so just a little bit of an update. What's today, tuesday the 16th? So yeah, tomorrow I will be 38 weeks. Yay, safe to deliver. Safe to deliver, yes.
Speaker 2:Perfect.
Speaker 3:I will take it I'm. I'm actually tomorrow is actually the anniversary of my grandmother's birthday. So I'm like I'm feeling a certain kind of way like I might have some little pixie dust help going on to to make her come early, but at the same time I'm like oh, not exactly sure what's going to happen, so I'm not ready for you to come early yet.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say so, is there, if she were to, if she were to come tomorrow? Where, where is she? Where's she going?
Speaker 3:good question. We still don't know there's still. It's still up in the air oh yeah, but I do have uh updates. Okay if my my last talk with you guys? Oh yeah, it's fun. So, as it stands, it does turn out that the intended parents did take my attorney that I was speaking to for over a month and a half.
Speaker 2:Took Like away from you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I got. I've been emailing this attorney since the middle of July and towards the end of August I got the fun little um. Let's see exactly what she said here, august 20. Yeah, I will definitely say save everything, ladies, when you're doing stuff like this, because, yeah, paperwork is in my favor at this point. I learned from my mother.
Speaker 2:Yes, documentation is key, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, here it is. I think it's best that I represent the IPs what? And then I can push for some clear-cut answers from them, based on the new academy ethics rules and on my own ethical obligations. Of course, they might want to back out and not want me once I start asking questions and I know you are lost right now because we don't have correct info and have to get some answers. The best way to directly is from the, the IPS and their CA lawyer. Okay, that was, um, that was around the beginning of August and it was basically shot home.
Speaker 2:Uh, august 21st so a couple weeks ago. She's a lawyer, wants to play like double agent.
Speaker 3:Well, she claimed she could get more answers and because she had their attorney's contact information and stuff like that, and then she would pass it along. The one that was my favorite was let's see, I wanted to update you that I've learned a lot about this situation and have spoken directly to the IPs and their criminal defense and dependency attorneys. I have a lot more info and I'm pulling together to send to you so you're more comfortable with the situation and that nothing illegal is happening.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry what? Yeah Comfortable with the situation that nothing illegal has happened, when we all clearly know illegal things have happened? Sounds like a crooked lawyer um, so uh?
Speaker 3:she then responded if we represent the ips, can?
Speaker 3:uh, because she was working with someone else at this point, like another one of you girls, like another attorney, like two attorneys, two, I contacted several attorneys and these two actually joined up pro bono to help me, which I have that email as well, saying we'll work with you pro bono and then I get all these. So she then, you know, tagged the other attorney. She's like if we represent the IPs, can you please represent, of course, me in the hospital and parentage process for which the IPs will pay, assuming that the info I send you gives you comfort and no concerns about representing the surrogate me. What I wanted to send you, the word that I have looked into this further and while it is weird to want to have so many children although I had Catholic families in my neighborhood growing up with 11, 15, and even 18, I don't see anything illegal here. The media has presented a somewhat distorted view and the IPs deserve a chance to tell their side.
Speaker 2:Okay, she just seems like an awful lawyer, Like that is she seems like. Now I'm like, oh, is she being bribed with money, Like lots of money that she doesn't want to turn down Like cause. How do you say that that's so ethical Cause? You said in the beginning she like sent you a thing saying like, oh, for my ethical values. And, girl, if you had, if you had any ethics at all, you'd be like like I'm gonna help these surrogates because this is a really messed up situation.
Speaker 3:So you you would think, um yeah, so that's.
Speaker 2:That's the fun part oh, okay, so you said that you had messaged several lawyers, though, so it's is.
Speaker 3:It was this like the main lawyer that was gonna like help, uh-huh yep, this is the one that actually said yes to where a lot of the others said no. So then yesterday I get the. I finally get the uh updated information of basically the ip story, which another email and I printed it. Of course it's literally a full sheet like of their story.
Speaker 3:Of their story, my favorite part is um that they're uh, hold on, let me see. Oh yeah, the original issue is that the nannies allegedly neglected and or possibly abused one of the children. However, the child had some existing medical issues and special needs and was having some of those medical issues wasn't there a video?
Speaker 2:uh, wasn't there a video of her like yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, there, there's.
Speaker 3:There's a video out there, okay okay so, um, and I I actually know the surrogate who gave birth to that child and she's like, um, no, really, so yeah like no, they don't have special needs.
Speaker 2:Like that's not true.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, wow, wow what like um, yeah, she's, she did. When I told this all came through yesterday, um, actually, so like I, I immediately went to my group and I'm like um, hey, that was that, that was yours, right, he, he was yours. And she's like, yeah, and I'm like, hey, that was yours, right, he was yours. And she's like yeah, and I'm like so they're basically saying that he had issues? And she's like, no, fuck, he didn't.
Speaker 2:Wow, does he have issues now? Does anybody know like the repercussions of like what happened?
Speaker 3:So the last that I have heard is he was still in the hospital oh my god, um, and unfortunately, like news is news, money is money. If it's not making any money, they won't put it back out there. But so we have exactly heard too too much Continuously from it, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that whole paper. So is that whole paper? You've read it? Obviously Is it just like all BS Like you can just be like yeah, that's BS, that's BS. That's BS Like this is not.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Pretty much. It names their their attorney in California. It mentions a little bit about the DCFS case and about how DCFS is wrong and that the IPs have enrolled in parenting classes and they are under investigation but the home assessments are good and they've already gotten one of their children back and, pending the trial where their attorney, they're going to be allowed to take custody of any new children born via surrogacy custody of any new children born via surrogacy. Just have to let dcfs know. Um, and yeah, they're working on ways to get the other children back.
Speaker 2:I'm not shocked that they're working on ways to get them back. I'm shocked if it's true that they got one kid back.
Speaker 3:I'm like a teen year old right, yeah, that's the oldest um I, that's the one that I actually met at dinner. Right, I'm guessing? Um to amend my contract To what I've got? 16 pages of addendums to my contract? Oh, yep, according to, because this is all apparently in one email. It's a big email. Oh, it was back and forth and it was good. Oh, yeah, they wanted to know if they wanted, if I needed an attorney to represent me. Well, where's your? Don't you have?
Speaker 2:an attorney to represent you.
Speaker 3:So the gentleman that I found is not specialized in surrogacy, so, um, that's also part of this email. Uh, it does not appear that the attorney does any family law, especially assisted in reproductive technology. I do not see how he is going to be helpful at all with regard to the parentage process, and it's not an attorney that the ips are going to be helpful at all with regard to the parentage process, and it's not an attorney that the IPs are going to pay for because he does not have the prerequisite expertise. I am not sure how or why you selected him. Can you please explain what? Okay, wait is?
Speaker 2:this the. This is their attorney, okay, but yeah, but you had to have contracts signed at the beginning. Was this guy representing you in?
Speaker 3:the beginning. No, so they did name him actually in the initial uh, the start of this email, um, but he's, according to him when I spoke to him back in june, he's not licensed in virginia, so he can't help. Who helped you sign your contract? The attorney in California who wrote it, which is this gentleman right here that they named in the first initial, not the one the name. That's all about that situation. Um, what, yep, I did yesterday early morning speak to a uh surrogacy attorney here locally who actually turned down another the other surrogate in my state, and her reasoning is because when this first started and and everybody was scrambling, the IPs apparently contacted every attorney and so nobody wanted to say, yeah, we'll help this person, yeah, we'll help this person until the IPs finally decided who they wanted to go with.
Speaker 2:Is what I'm guessing.
Speaker 3:These people have some interesting strings. Yeah, my little recorder yesterday was going off the hook Because I recorded quite a bit yesterday.
Speaker 2:As you should Like this is. It's like unfathomable. I can't even comprehend half of it, because it's just like the fact that that I'm still stuck on the fact that that one attorney that said that she would help you pro bono, which applaud you for keeping all of this documentation, because this is absolutely insane. Well, just like, what are you? What are you? What are you supposed to do now? Like is there another pro bono?
Speaker 3:So the attorney that I talked to yesterday said oh yeah, I'll represent you, we just need to get the paperwork signed. And literally that was at around the same time yesterday morning. So, about you know, morning ish, less than two hours later, I was getting these emails from their attorney. And then, two hours after that, the that that attorney I spoke to that morning was blowing me up, like called me several times and I was like, okay, I'm at work. I granted, I work in a very laid back place, but I can't just yeah, and I kind of needed to talk to my husband too, because oh my gosh yeah this is a.
Speaker 3:this is something that, you know, both of us need to make a decision on. I can't just say, yeah, let's sign no, because it then comes to the uh, I'm also in the last legs of pregnancy. I'm, I'm due in two weeks. If I make it that long, right, if I sign anything or if I agree to these addendums, which?
Speaker 2:16 pages of addendums. Are you, are they okay? So, since they are like somewhat in contact with you, is escrow still open?
Speaker 3:yes, escrow is still open, okay, so you're still good on that. Still good there. I'm still getting paid, okay. Um, the the last email that I got from their attorneys yesterday was about around lunchtime. Um, they have, and basically it's I'm guessing it's from a paralegal we have drafted the addendum that will make your contract compliant with Virginia law. Should have been compliant, compliant. Does that mean my contract isn't valid Because it says right there it will make it compliant.
Speaker 3:And you don't have a lawyer uh, I am attaching our draft for you to see, but please do not sign it yet. Once you have an attorney, they will review it with you and let you know of any changes before all parties sign thanks. So they did say don't sign it, which is not my plan anyway. Like I'm already under so much stress, which then leads to the, am I being coerced into picking an attorney and signing these documents because I'm in such a late state and my emotions are all over the place? Because I'm in such a late state and my emotions are all over the place, right, but like I literally, like it says, make my contract compliant. So does that mean my contract is not like?
Speaker 2:I feel like they're going to scare you at this point, because it's like how you had a lawyer in the beginning you signed, there were contracts, there was nothing that was. The ips weren't questioning things in the beginning.
Speaker 3:You know this doesn't mean the wording um, because in my state we're not allowed to be compensated, right, and that was that word was in there a lot, and I'm like that word's not supposed to be in there. Oh, very interesting, but no one ever changed it, right? And honestly, yeah, that's what several of these Hold on. Let me see how many points again 59 points in this addendum if 59, they want to make 59 changes.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, oh my gosh and okay, I know I'm not on video, but I'm I'm showing Kennedy like my actual stack of paperwork here.
Speaker 2:It's a lot, it's a it's. It's a lot like it's. That's insane. That and all I see right now is on your shirt says you matter and I'm like, yes, you do. You do matter.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, like it actually says to the person behind me, it's like you are smart, you are strong, you are this year, it that it's like it lists several different things and then it says you matter, so I needed this shirt today.
Speaker 2:Yes, and every day. Jeez, oh my gosh. Okay, so now you're on the hunt for a lawyer for Virginia.
Speaker 3:Yes, I do have a meeting with the attorney my company uses later this afternoon. Oh, okay, because he did say send me everything and he's over it. But of course all of that was last week and all of this came in literally yesterday. So I've, of course, course, I hit up chat gdp, gotta love them. I have to sign the surrogate forms if I don't want to, because, I'm sorry, I really don't fucking want to at this point um, sign anything.
Speaker 2:You don't want to like that part. I just know, like, just like it's like a human like I don't believe to sign anything. You don't want to Like that part. I just know, like, just like, as, like a human, like I don't believe you have I'm not a lawyer, but like I would bet 99% that you don't have to sign anything you don't feel comfortable with.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and honestly, like that was part of the conversation yesterday with this fun attorney that I spoke to she's like you'll be in breach of contract and they can take legal action against you.
Speaker 2:He's like you'll be in breach of contract and they can take legal action against you. Oh my gosh, I hate that. I was. I've had that threat as well. They use it as scare tactics, like go ahead and try. What are you guys under right now? You guys have enough going on with the frickin feds, like let's chill.
Speaker 3:Like in my state we don't have a birth order. We have a post-birth order, not a pre. So I'm like, and my contract should be approved by the court preconception. My contract wasn't approved by a court preconception, so and like, of course, reading through all this, I'm like I cannot be forced to sign the parentage form or petition, uh, the pbo if I do not agree and without my consent. The ips usually cannot finalize their parental rights through that streamlined process. They may have to go through legal routine adoption, contested custody, et cetera, so forth. And the Virginia courts also pay close attention to whether the surrogate's consent was knowing, voluntary and not coerced. Hmm Well, let's see.
Speaker 2:Well, the first signature, yes, but this one, if we sign, no.
Speaker 3:At this point.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like I'm pretty sure I'm going to pop any day at this moment. The stress, the stress, like I actually, like I had my my 37 week appointment last week and, uh, they did the non-stress test and you have to be here. Yeah, yeah, that's, uh, I actually halfway through my test. They're like um, we need you to go over to L&D oh no, because you were contracting a lot.
Speaker 3:Well, I am contracting. It's not a lot, but they thought the baby's heart rate dropped. Okay, so they're like, just for safety purposes, we're going to go ahead and send you over. They have longer monitoring systems. You can do whatever while you're there blah, blah, blah, do whatever while you're there, blah, blah, blah. And so I just went to labor and delivery, for I think it only took about two hours and no issues, thank god. But I'm like, yeah, what am I gonna have to go through today? And, like, my next appointment is supposed to be Thursday. So, yeah, uh-huh. But yeah, part of part of the instructions on this is to keep all documentation oh girl, you've been keeping all the documentation, oh.
Speaker 3:I got the documentation, um, but they actually like name evidence that I can use to fight the outcome, basically Like for contract validity evidence, like they want. They said you know records like reports from CPS, past negligence and abuse cases reports, criminal charges, uh, witnesses, medical or school reports, and then, like my own stability, I'm like, okay, I got, I got most of that. Who can count as a witness? Hmm, let's see a lot. I'm like. I'm asking in my own head, I'm like can other surrogates that I'm connected with be considered witnesses because they've actually had hands-on experiences and communications with these parents?
Speaker 2:well, my knowledge of SVU and things like that. I would say yes, because they're they're experiencing it themselves right like they're yeah, yeah considered witnesses.
Speaker 3:They're witnessing situations that are happening to themselves as well yeah and okay, even if you take our probably our bias out of it, because most but we're going to be biased, unfortunately, for sure they but but they actually saw them prior to and, like, got to experience the hands-on aspect, whereas, you know, everybody who's reading the, the reports and stuff like that don't necessarily have the hands-on experience right with this couple, right, so like, okay, uh, I can I, I, I can be a doctor and tell you until I'm blue in the face that, okay, these people are great, but the surrogate who actually sat across the dinner table from them while they were talking on their phones or not having any conversations with me through a dinner right after transfer, through a dinner right after transfer, okay, um, who's going to be more valid in that case?
Speaker 2:the here the one who has actual experience with the parents, right, yeah, yeah, yep, oh, my god, yeah, oh, and there's still not someone who is like willing to like represent all of you. I mean, I know that has to be.
Speaker 3:That's got to be a lot for sure the only thing that I can think of on that one is because we are we are all across state lines is trying to find somebody who. I don't know if it's licensing in each of those states matters or if we do do something like this, if it won't matter at that point, because, yeah, most of us at this point are willing to in a way to protect the children, fight for these children, right, we, we all know, ok, we may not be able to bring these babies home, but at this point we're damn sure ready to not let them take these babies home either. So I I even looked up like how long it might take to come up with a timeline and I would hate to bring this child home. I and in six months to a year time, which is how much it's saying that this could take, especially if there are further appeals which apparently these people of course have money, so they don't really worry about that are looking into because they got surrogates?
Speaker 2:Are you the only one that's receiving all this information?
Speaker 3:So when I, when I get slapped with cause I'm next, I'm the one who's giving birth next. So literally I'm, i'm'm, I'm next on the hit list. Um, and when, when something like this, you know, hits me, I go into immediate research and find what I better my chances whether it I'm, I'm already on the list for cps and no contact and hide her at the hospital and everything. But yeah, that for the like. I do want to know what's going to happen to the baby. I do. If I'm bringing her home, then I need to prepare. Yeah, you need to know what's going to happen to the baby. I do. If I'm bringing her home, then I need to prepare, yeah you need to know that, because this is around the corner.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have built a little Amazon registry for the things that I'm probably going to need. Yeah, like all of us well know. Yeah, like all of us well know. But yeah, like I even found the news release yesterday from the police department for their arrest yesterday and like I know it because it is an ongoing open investigation. Like I did call and ask for police reports, they didn't give me any. The representative they transferred me to I just went straight to his voicemail. So I get to call again today to see if he might actually answer me. But yeah, like I know how much they like it literally says right here you know how much they paid for bail. It lists the felony child neglect and endangerment charge, gives the case number and like this I could find online. Like like this was straight up open news release type thing.
Speaker 2:That's good and then they had the audacity to be like let's amend 59 things and get this baby back with us. How their lawyers crooked, there's crooked. There's no way, there's no way, there's no way that this is any part ethical, any of it. The investigation is still open.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like at the bottom it says this case is currently under investigation. Anyone with information are encouraged to contact the police department are encouraged to contact the police department?
Speaker 3:uh, wait. So do you have to contact the police department? Uh, well, I the one that I spoke to the records department yesterday and the records department was patching me through to a detective. So, yes, it's the detective who didn't answer. So I will probably be calling back yet again today and asking for that same detective. Or I might just even call and be like, hey, I have information. Who are you going to put me through to? Like, honestly, I even called the chief of the police department yesterday. I mean, I do, I mean, and I, I, okay, I, I get.
Speaker 3:You may not be able to send me transcripts and stuff like that, but y'all need to know what they're saying too. Like, I, I'm going to forward this fun little email to the children's attorneys because I have her contact information. I'm going to email the contact that I have at DCFS and be like WTF, because that's not what we have been told basically from the start of what's going on. Right, it's not what we have been told basically from the start of what's going on. Like, right, yeah, they've gotten one of their kids back, yet no, you guys told me not even last week that none of their kids have gone back. So then yeah, ok, they're lying to the attorney here too, and okay, not exactly thrilled with her at this moment, but she, she might actually have you know something to say about them lying to her yeah, this is just.
Speaker 2:There's just so many weird. It's just, it doesn't make sense. None of it makes any sense, because how are they allowed to contact you at this point?
Speaker 3:you should all have restraining orders against them, like I, I don't know what this, if we're even allowed to have restraining orders, to be completely honest. One of the girls in the group asked that and they're like uh, I don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but two of us have meetings with different attorneys, uh, me and my state, another girl in her state today and like we're just gonna sit down and start asking questions like yeah, like I think, if you know, if this, if he can, you know, even with you know this fun new vips won't pay for you, type thing like out there, has to have, has to have the heart to do pro bono Like this is just such an unfathomable situation that someone, someone has to be willing to help.
Speaker 3:At this point, like I, yeah, I, I can only hope somebody's heart comes through and opens up and is like you know what comes through, yeah, opens up, and it's like you know what. Yeah, this is not right. Kids, kids don't need to go through this. You know these, these parents or these women went into this, you know, with open hearts, trying to help and you guys were taken full advantage of.
Speaker 2:Like, just like the rug pulled over you, just like out of nowhere. It's like like and I hate to say that you were taken advantage of, but like, at this point it's just like they played you, like they they did, they just played everyone it's like I I said yesterday, I'm like at this point I feel like what my husband says they're bending us over not using any lube at this point oh my god and they are trying to to at least scare me at this moment, because yeah, I'm next and I, I am, I'm literally, I'm next excuse me, I really do think that those are empty threats, like there's just it's an open investigation.
Speaker 2:There's no way a baby that is born today, tomorrow is going CPS won't do that. Like these people. Their lawyer is very interesting. Something is either you're right, something is either being fed a lie like 100%, or that's a crooked lawyer. I don't know. That's. It's just too much. You don't need the stress like this isn't saying because you said you're, you are next, you're 38 weeks, what tomorrow?
Speaker 3:like you could pop this baby out literally tomorrow and like yep, honestly, according to my you know, valid, unvalid, controversial, non-controversial contract, I was able to pop her out last week on Wednesday Really weeks. So I'm still within contract, like yeah, but can I afford to actually pay for an attorney to step up and slap them down?
Speaker 2:not exactly and that's where my heart, that's where my heart breaks more, because it's like it shouldn't even be on you. You in the beginning, you in the beginning, you should have had a, a good virginia lawyer, because then you could have gone back and forth with that person and been like, hey, like now it's this, now it's that, like I'm still blown away at the fact that that did not happen you went in, right, I and I did.
Speaker 3:I went around to um three attorneys and you know I spoke to them. I asked them their costs and you know, went back to the assistant and their costs were too far out of the ip's uh a budget. I bet you know they were wishing that they paid that budget. Yeah, and again, looking back, it's horrible, knowing what I know now, I'm like how the fuck was it out of their budget?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, for real, knowing what you know now there's no way. It just seems like maybe they knew that that was a good lawyer, like now my head goes right Like, oh, maybe they knew that was a good lawyer, so they wanted somebody that was like, so that way, like we could take control of the situation.
Speaker 3:Somebody that's already in our pockets, that we've used before. You know stuff like that. And yeah, that that attorney that was mine, that wrote the contract, has actually reached out to several other the other, the other surrogates and like, hey, how can I help? I'm over here, like don't even fucking talk to him. He hasn't talked to the FBI, he's not licensed anywhere else. Just don't even waste your time.
Speaker 2:No, their lawyer is doing that.
Speaker 3:The lawyer who wrote my contract yes, oh golly okay, yep, that california attorney, yeah, so yeah, I'm again. I'm over here like nope, don't, don't talk to them, don't acknowledge them, right.
Speaker 2:Nothing. No, you don't need to either. If somebody reaches out that you don't want to talk to you, don't have to talk to them. Don't do it, especially like oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, yay, Do any day, if anyone wants to. Uh, uh, has any advice, I will gladly accept it at this point. Um, I do know one of your listeners mentioned a seed trust I think it was before as an escrow account. No, we're not with them. Okay, I wish we were. That's actually what was named in my contract as being the escrow account. No, that's not our that's, and that's not even one of the the things that they wanted to fix in the contract wait.
Speaker 2:In your contract it says they were going to use seed trust and they didn't yep, okay, I brought up several times again.
Speaker 3:it was still ignored.
Speaker 2:So Interesting Are all. So all of you, are all of you at the same place? No, you're not. Yeah, cause that would be suspicious for sure.
Speaker 3:Somebody is with Ally. Two of us are with the same. Okay, is with ally? Uh, two of us are with the same, okay, I don't remember the other girl who she said hers was with, that she already gave birth, but um, yeah, um, there are at least two. And yeah because, like you said, if you had them all at the same place, it may or may not draw attention, but depending on how crooked the place is, that they have it like okay, ally goes by all kinds of national guidelines that one probably would catch it, c-trust would probably catch it.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 3:The attorney's office that they use to write their contract might be in their pocket.
Speaker 2:I was literally just thinking that I'm like okay, so if this guy is trying to reach out to everybody, then clearly he knows how many people they sent this to, so he's aware of the situation and if he's, he because he did write my contract and he did write the other surrogate contracts, so we already know of two that he's written literally.
Speaker 3:Because, yeah, I'm like I wonder how many contracts they had copies of and they just made like cut and paste, cut and paste, cut and paste Right.
Speaker 2:That's where my head went. I'm like, oh, they probably just wrote it once and then just changed whatever they needed to, for whatever laws, and that state and names needed to be changed, things like that so how many of us actually have the same contract?
Speaker 3:so how many of our contracts are actually compliant or not? With that fun little, they use to update mine for the addendums, oh my gosh, this is when you think shit already hit the fan.
Speaker 2:It it just keeps coming out of the woodworks. I, just I, I I feel so freaking, like my heart just like continuously breaks for all of you, because it's just like how? How is no one like there's people for them, there's people for the kids. Where the hell are the people for you guys? This doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3:It doesn't it, it really doesn't, and like um, oh yeah, I did get a, a text message from the, the mom, asking if, uh, I had considered flying out to california to give birth to the baby and she would find me a house or an apartment and cover all of the, the, the extras for me while I was there.
Speaker 2:Is she allowed to contact you? That's my first question.
Speaker 3:According to the old attorney, her new attorney. You know my person, not my person. However, you want to refer to it to stay compliant, not breach the contract. I still needed to talk and answer questions. Breach the contract. I still needed to talk and answer questions because there is no agency to go as the middleman. Oh, jesus, uh-huh. So I? That was wait what I was. I have to go to go. So I was. I was already 36 weeks pregnant oh my god once was.
Speaker 3:At this point, no doctor is going to. Legally, let me leave this, this area. Um, no airline will fly me anywhere. For my safety and your baby's safety, I'm gonna have to turn down your offer a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:You're not gonna fly, you're not gonna go anywhere. You're gonna stay in your bubble because people there are safe. Okay, what are you supposed to do if your water breaks, like tomorrow? Do you? Oh my god, do you know? Yeah, wait, oh my gosh, what are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to contact them because they're not really supposed to have the baby? Um?
Speaker 3:so that was also another part of their email. Is that they can have.
Speaker 2:They just have to inform dcfs anytime a new child comes into their care no, pretty sure that authorities will tell them hey you, we give you now permission. You don't just be like hey, we came to the hospital, picked, picked up the baby, letting you know that seems like kidnapping.
Speaker 3:I mean yeah. Oh my God, yeah, at this point, like again, no legal representation, not knowing laws or having that help.
Speaker 2:But you have a meeting today? Yes, okay, and I'm really hopeful that you, that they can answer and they can help.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, yeah, cause at this point, like I said, anything, any, any information that, even if he can't help me, any information that I can go to the hospital, cps with when I do pop. And the last girl, they did an emergency, basically an emergency who's going to take the baby trial? They allowed her to hold on to the baby while things are established and figured out. Oh, wow, so, like, one surrogate already has the baby that she gave birth to. She doesn't know what's going to happen in 30 days time, but they, they award, they awarded her temporary custody in a different state, in a different state. Um, so, like, again, I'm, I'm hopeful, yeah, so like, even if cps is like, okay, no, you cannot have the baby and take her home, but we're going to put her with a good foster family, right, okay, I'm, I'm, I.
Speaker 3:I may not like it because I hate to say it, I've kind of already thought of a name, but I will accept it. It will be a lot easier to let her go at the hospital versus trying to bring her home, letting my kids get even more attached to her because, like yesterday, my kids were all about protecting the baby, not necessarily mommy, but protecting the baby and mommy's tummy. So it is. It is freaking adorable and like I don't want, I can't have them getting even more attached to her and then risk losing her right. So like, yes, do I want to bring this baby home? 150 000 percent, yeah, do I want to start getting stuff together? Hell, yes, I I I can't say yet bought some diapers, bought some wipes. I already got somebody willing to to let me borrow a playpen while I try and find a crib or a rocking you know one of the rockers and stuff like that, you know just to have it. But yeah, like I'm trying, like my husband says, don't get your hopes up. Yeah, and I'm over here like too too late.
Speaker 2:Mom's mama attachment is real you're just trying to protect her. You're just that's what your job has been literally for the past like eight, nine months, just to protect her. So like, yeah, I'd probably be feeling the same way you. Just you don't want anybody to hurt her yeah, at this point, no, don't.
Speaker 3:And with me, yeah, she'll be protected, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2:You're the one who's getting her here, so no one's better to protect her right now in this situation than you. I completely understand that and I really hope that the meeting today goes in a positive direction.
Speaker 3:Well, yes, fingers crossed, I definitely, like I'm hoping against hope that everything goes okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but at least he can, if not like, represent you, at least give you clarity on where to go. Yeah, yeah, that's like the big thing I, I think for all of you right now, is like can someone just lay the path down and we'll walk it? Just lay it down, so yeah, like where do we go? Shouldn't be that hard. But I guess it is because this is very unique look, even freaking dorothy had a yellow brick road.
Speaker 3:Okay, I mean facts it's so true, it was spirally, but it was there you know you had a few detours, the sleeping flowers, you know, saving people and stuff, but she had a brick road to follow. She did Give me a road.
Speaker 2:I may not like it but I'll follow it Exactly, exactly, and all of you just need that peace of mind. I think if you had that and I'm hopeful, maybe that either you'll get answers or that other girl will get answers- Mm-hmm, and like I said yesterday, I'm like I pinned the news release with the police information and case number.
Speaker 3:I'm like, take that that way he can get that. You know, if there's anything that I've pinned to our group that you can use to get any of us at this, information at this point, more information, even at different states, do it. Absolutely Because even an answer in a different state is an answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it is Cause. Then you can take that and you can run with it in your state type thing and adjust it how it needs to be adjusted. It's just.
Speaker 3:Give me something else to research. Yep, pretty much. Yeah, oh gosh. So yeah, that that's kind of kind of where we're at. Um, yeah, like I've already started nesting and cleaning and trying to to store up stuff. It's just a level of stress that I was not willing to want to accept. But here I am, here the rest of us are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so sorry. I wish there was better news, but hopefully I don't know. I'm hopeful that this that I really am, I don't know. I'm really hopeful that you guys will have some type of answer today.
Speaker 3:Well, last week when he told me, send him all my stuff, you know he, he will look at it, he's going to do what he can to help. I was flying so high to be perfectly. I nothing could have dimmed my clouds that day.
Speaker 2:And then, of course, yesterday it's like okay, yeah, there go the dimming but that's not his part, that's not on his part, that was on their. No, no, so there's still hope that he's like hey, I can, jeepers, I need another couple days, but like, yeah, like I can do this yeah, exactly like he hasn't.
Speaker 3:He hasn't said no, I can't help you oh, okay, I love that. So, yeah, we're. We haven't gotten there yet. I'm guessing that's what part of this conversation will be this afternoon, of whether or not, yeah, I can still help you. No, I can't, but here's what I can do right let me lay the brick road yeah yeah, start the foundation.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I'm the the. The emotional roller coaster is definitely definitely there, um. So yeah, I told you guys I'd give you a, an update, and well, it's not a happy one. It's kind of a happy one, kind of a not happy one.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, it's an update, no, and we really appreciate it. And I know the community well. I've had a lot of people reach out being like, oh my gosh, this story, like these ladies, you know, and so everybody definitely feels for you guys, and I know that everybody definitely feels for you guys and I know that they're they're everybody's rooting for you.
Speaker 3:I I had hoped that somebody would maybe reach out and offer a hand but yeah, well, honestly, I like I haven't completely given up on, like, my GoFundMe or anything, so that's, that's still, that's still out there and going. You know, you know, fighting for that innocent life. It's becoming more and more evident that 16 pages, 59 bullet points, wild.
Speaker 2:That's like they're gonna make this into a movie.
Speaker 3:This is insane, like yeah, like, honestly, I, I'm, I'm considering coming out of the closet you know media wise but at the same time it's like, do I really that frenzy, with the media coming after me right?
Speaker 2:maybe, maybe after delivery, when things have settled and there's a real path, like you, don't need to take on any more stress right now like that, the whole level of stress is just yeah, and it keeps building and building.
Speaker 3:And like some days you think, oh, yeah, I'm gonna bring little sophia ray home, oh, I love that.
Speaker 2:That's a sweet name it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my other kids are named after family members. Ray is actually a name that my entire family has in every generation, so that's a family name. And the other night my husband and I were just like what about this? What about this night? My husband and I were just like what about this? What about this name? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And like he was like I've honestly been calling her Sophie or Sophia for months and I'm like that's on my list. So yeah, um, yeah, if we bring her home, hey, sophia, ray, we've got a name at least yeah, you do, do you?
Speaker 2:yeah, oh yeah, yep, yep, this is all very oh, my gosh, just I would love to be like, oh, just breathe, but like that's not that I can't say that like I, you can't, you can't breathe, you're doing what you're doing, yeah, no Cause. You know, people always like, oh, don't try to worry about it, just you know. And it's like no, you are standing tall, you, I told, I told you the other day I was like you have quickly become one of my heroes because you are so strong. All of you ladies Like I, jesus, like you just keep getting run over with semis and you're still standing, and it's just like it takes a very, very special human to do that. And all of you are just very special and I just, and I am in awe of your strength and your determination and just everything.
Speaker 3:So Well, like you said also during our last podcast, it's like we're we're all the stress and strength and everything else that we're having to exhibit and show. We're passing that on to these little ones inside of us and, like I relayed that to our, to my group and my my group loved that and yeah, again, we, we don't want to be the groundbreakers, we don't want to be the ones, you know.
Speaker 2:No one wants to be for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a lot like and I try and make sure no, my stress levels are I. I might try and seem like I'm okay, but yeah, no, you can definitely tell. And sometimes I'm having to shut the door. I'm the, the, the young, what is it? We all turn our music up and drive down the highway to release all the tension. I do that in my office. They know as soon as my they can hear my speaker outside of my office to not come in the door.
Speaker 2:I need my five minutes, thank you.
Speaker 3:Leave me the heck alone for five, ten minutes. Throw chocolate under the door. We're all good. There you go. I may not be able to pick it up at this point, but, Dagnabbit, I'm going to try.
Speaker 2:It will not stop me.
Speaker 3:But yeah, breathing, yeah, it will not stop me. But yeah, um breathing, yeah, I, I do that. You breathe in, you breathe out. Yeah, you do break occasionally.
Speaker 2:Yep, for sure but you're not made of stone like you're. You're still human. You're just a badass human. So it's just. You know it's. I'm happy that you all have each other because, obviously, like the rest of us in the community, we can, we can empathize, but like we cannot sympathize, or yeah, yeah, I don't, I always get confused, but you know where I'm going with that?
Speaker 3:yeah, is it? Something like that yeah, but yeah, everybody has their own story. They can understand or, you know, go along with it to a point. But okay, who's ever dealt with this before? You ladies like just your group, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah and like okay, I love my husband to death. He has been such a great support system and everything he was like. It's not just happening to you, you know.
Speaker 3:Like no, but you're next, as you said but I'm next, you're next, okay, I, I understand. You know a lot of this is also going into my marriage and he feels and deals with it too. But it's also why I don't share every single detail with him, like, okay, because I talked to an attorney today, they can't help me. He doesn't need to know that. Oh, wow, okay, it's a whole nother level of stress. Or when I do get emails and I do tell him and he's like, okay, well, what do we do now?
Speaker 2:he's like right, it's different. It's a different type of support. Wonderful that he is there for you and that he is your rock and that, everything like that. But definitely, right, he's not the one going through the motions like the other ladies are. So the exactly the words that they can provide are a bit more like yes, that is my train of thought, thank you. Like you know, it's like the validation.
Speaker 3:Yep and OK, he's not going to understand that. Getting up every three hours or every two hours to go pee, you know your back hurting because you can't sleep on your your back right. Or you know the, the, the pregnancy stuff. No man is ever going to be able to grasp that 100% yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's like, okay, he can be like I'm sorry you didn't sleep. I'm gonna be like yeah, I hear you snoring over there. I can't exactly, I'm sorry you didn't sleep. I'm gonna be like yeah, I hear you snoring over there, or I can't exactly blame this on you. This is half your fault. No, I can't do that, and not his fault. Right?
Speaker 2:but yeah, oh, gosh well, please keep this posted.
Speaker 3:I'm I mean, I I really would love to know how today goes for you I, I will, I will reach out and I will let you know, of course, later.
Speaker 2:You don't have to do. You don't have to do it right away, but like I'm like girl, I am last on your list, but like I am here rooting for you but uh, yeah, a direction, you know, would be great, and a community like letting them know hey, this is what's going on.
Speaker 3:And the fact that they still may be looking for surrogates also has crossed our minds, because they're, they want a big family, and if they have to start from scratch, is it a family?
Speaker 2:we got questions about that.
Speaker 3:That's unanswered the, the sports team people are coming for y'all heads up, yeah, uh, yeah, so I'll let everybody know. And yeah, uh, like the, the GoFundMe is still up diapers too. We'll pass along the diapers. We've already started a chain of uh, hey, we're the girl who just gave birth is like, okay, you're next, so you're gonna get the leftover newborns and size ones. And I'm like, okay, and I, I bought size ones, not newborns. So, girl after me, as soon as I we're out of the size ones, I'm gonna pass those to you. Like we're already creating a chain to get each other's stuff, if we can bring the babies home and keep them oh, wow, oh, I'm glad that you all have each other.
Speaker 3:Seriously, that's very helpful well, in a way, we're like okay, like I had mentioned to you the other day, we're we're kind of going to be family because these kids, if their DNA does match, they're siblings. So we're basically each other's new family. We're we're going to be aunties and uncles to all of these kids.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah, that's crazy. I mean it's cool, but it's crazy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and there are 20 of us still out there, you know, trying to find our family. Yeah, oh gosh, sorry.
Speaker 2:Contraction.
Speaker 3:Oh no, oh, my girl, do not go into labor on me right now. They're not close enough together to warrant me going anywhere yet, so you're fine, okay. I can't tell the difference, though, when it's just her moving and an actual like oh okay, yep, feel that nope didn't last for 30 seconds or a minute, we're still good, okay. Oh, my god, oh dear. Yeah, like I told the guys at work, if I pop while I'm at work, you guys have to get me to the hospital. They're like we'll just throw you in the back of the van or put you on a motorcycle. I'm like I don't need to go on a motorcycle, okay we have enough adrenaline and rush in our life right now.
Speaker 3:The cycle is not necessary they're like we'll just throw you in the back of the van, it's easier to clean out. I'm like thanks guys, love y'all too. I like the plan that's cute. Oh my gosh, how funny you're the only girl working in in a full man-based operation. Yeah, it can get funny quite often oh, how funny oh, they've already said we'll be your security team, we'll come and stand at labor and delivery and not let anyone in. I'm like, while I love you guys now right, no, right, thanks, but no thanks, thanks, but no thanks all right.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for giving this update and doing it so early in the morning.
Speaker 3:Well, you, did it earlier than I did. I'll say that. So I thank you, like okay. So it's a the day where I'm gonna have all the kids by myself. When can I do this? Let's see if we can work out a schedule we did it, we got it done.
Speaker 2:So I'm I'm hoping for the best for you and the other girl today, and so I really hope that you guys get like a path laid out at least, or some clarity of something.
Speaker 3:So she's got about another month left, so she has got time. She's got a little bit more time than I do, but yeah, just like we said, some, some paths, even if it's one that we don't like like. If I hear the, you're just going to have to suck it up. I'm going to make a lot of noise, but I'll suck it up. I don't want to hear that, but I don't think you'll hear that At this point, with everything that we're being told, and I'm ready to hear anything at this point.
Speaker 2:It's there. Be ready, right. Just at least be ready for all, for all possibilities.
Speaker 3:Be ready right, just at least be ready for all possibilities, all possibilities, but yeah, okay, so yeah, thank you everyone for listening. This one's not as long this time, I don't think.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I was just involved. I'm just saying I'm not even, I don't think so. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 3:No, no, I don't think we went for two hours.
Speaker 2:nope, we're good, oh, that's right, you're right, the other one was two hours. Lol, I like totally forget, because I'm just like just talking. Yeah, just talking, just talking. Oh okay, well, you have, I hope you have a good day. I hope, hope, little, little little babes can just hang on for a little longer so we can get some answers, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're keeping our legs closed this time, perfect.
Speaker 2:All right, well, you have a beautiful day, okay. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3:You guys too. Bye, everyone Bye.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, thank you so much for giving us another update. I know a lot of you have reached out regarding the Mark Surrogacy podcast that we uploaded a couple weeks ago. This is the same girl that gave her story then, so we really appreciate the update. I really really hope that your meeting goes well and that you guys get some answers, because this is this is. This is a lot, and I feel really bad that everyone has representation except for these wonderful ladies. So I just don't understand that. But if anybody has any questions or stories that they would like to share, please feel free to reach out to us on instagram at stop period sit period surrogate, or you can email us at stop period sit period, surrogate at gmailcom. And this has been another episode of stop sit surrogate. All right, see you guys later. Bye, if you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a like and subscribe. Also, check out the link to our YouTube channel in the description and be sure to also check out our children's book my Mom has Superpowers, sold on Amazon and Etsy.