Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
A mother and daughter podcast educating others on surrogacy from a surrogates point of view. And the point of view from the intended parents, children born from surrogacy, the agency, legal professionals and IVF doctors for the science behind it all. Together we have brought 8 beautiful children into this world and it’s been an insane rollercoaster ride! Good and bad, the sweet and the sour, all coming to light about the truths behind the best and worst surrogacy journeys. Stop. Sit. Surrogate. Is a podcast that is able to give well rounded information about surrogacy from every point of view. We hope to give as much education as we can provide, to those who want to learn and know more about surrogacy.
Stop. Sit. Surrogate.
What Happens When Science, Hope, and Heartbreak Collide?
#surrogacy
#ivf
#surrogate
Liz’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizzzlooobes?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Dive into the raw, unfiltered journey of Liz, a three-time surrogate who brings a unique perspective as both a surrogate mother and a fertility clinic medical assistant. Her story takes us through the highs of creating families for others and the lows of failed transfers and loss, all while maintaining remarkable positivity and resilience. Liz's path to surrogacy began unexpectedly while working in fertility medicine, where she gained invaluable knowledge about the process before embarking on her own surrogate journey. She shares candid insights about agency selection, describing how finding the right support system made all the difference after a disappointing first experience. What makes this conversation particularly powerful is Liz's willingness to discuss the aspects of surrogacy rarely talked about in public forums. From the dramatic moments during delivery when her surrogate baby wasn't immediately breathing, to the emotional devastation of a miscarriage while on vacation, to the hurt when an intended parent failed to check in after a loss. These honest revelations provide a window into the complex emotional landscape surrogates navigate. Despite experiencing seven medical cycles in three years and multiple setbacks, Liz's enthusiasm for surrogacy remains undiminished. Her advice to those considering becoming surrogates is beautifully simple yet profound: "Just do it." This episode captures the essence of surrogacy as not just a medical process but a deeply human connection requiring communication, empathy, and resilience from all involved. Whether you're considering surrogacy, are an intended parent, or simply curious about alternative family-building paths, this conversation offers authentic insights into what the journey truly entails beyond the medical procedures and legal agreements. Connect with us on Instagram @stop.sit.surrogate or email stop.sit.surrogate@gmail.com to share your own stories or questions.
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Welcome. We are a mother-daughter podcast about all things surrogacy. Together, we have brought eight beautiful babies into this world and we would like to share through education and knowledge about surrogacy with those who want to educate themselves on the topic. This is Stop Sit Surrogate.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, welcome back to Stop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Hey everybody, welcome back to Stops it Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Everybody Today we are welcomed by a surrogate. I'm so excited. We've talked online, but now we get to talk in person a little bit. So do you want to introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Liz. Hello Liz, are you California based or are you like East Coast?
Speaker 3:I california-based, I'm in san diego, yeah, any first time, second time, third time, um, so I've done three journeys, um wow, yeah yeah, wow, girl.
Speaker 2:How'd you find out about surrogacy? Let let's start with that.
Speaker 3:So I actually work in the fertility field. I'm a medical assistant.
Speaker 4:And.
Speaker 3:I worked for a fertility office and I actually never crossed my mind like surrogacy never crossed my mind until I started working there. I did a lot of monitoring patients, so I did a lot of blood draws and ultrasounds for them and one of the girls was just like, oh, you know, I'm a surrogate and um, the IEP is flying me out first class and this and that, and um, she would just tell me like everything every, every time she would come in. We'd have like this really long conversation and and um, one of actually one of our patients the couples they asked if I would be interested in being their surrogate. And yeah, and it was. It was totally random because I just had this surrogate. And then the couple asked and then, um, so I talked to my husband and my husband was like, yeah, you know what? Like I'm, I'll support you whatever you want to do, and so I had told her yes and she ended up actually getting pregnant on her own.
Speaker 4:Oh well, good for her.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but that's it, huh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. That's a very cool way to get into this, the fact that you work in the industry. Well, what? The fertility industry? That's cool. That, but the fertility industry, that's cool. That was always something I wanted to do, so that's.
Speaker 4:You already have a heads up on what's needed and what's like.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You already do half of it, yeah.
Speaker 2:A little bit more knowledge on the terminology.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, it was totally different because at the clinic that I was working at at the time I was just doing basic stuff, like just blood draws, and then maybe helping like in a procedure every now and then maybe helping like in a procedure every now and then. But then, like once I started my journey, I quit and I went to another fertility office and at that office I did everything. So I've done everything from like retrievals, the hysteroscopies. I've done transfers. I started with our patients from A to the very last step till graduation day. So I learned, definitely learned, a lot there. It's I love the field. It's it's unfortunate field, but it's so rewarding at the end.
Speaker 2:Right, agreed but that's so cool, that's I would love to be. I would love to be in your position when being a surrogate, like because when people, when people talk to me in the fertility world, like you know, when I pop into the office and they're like this and that, and I just go, whatever you say, I agree, whatever. Yeah, the fact that you know it, that's gotta be. That's just huge on your part.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's cool. Sometimes it's kind of a bad thing because, like so, I yeah I've done three journeys, but unfortunately I've only had one successful birth, yeah. And so, like, just within the journeys and seeing the ultrasounds, I'm like, oh no, I know what's wrong. Like this is, you know, subchorionic or it was a miscarriage or this or that, and yeah, okay, so pluses and minuses for sure.
Speaker 2:Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that though.
Speaker 4:So what do we talk? Are we going to discuss all of them, or are we just talking about the which one?
Speaker 3:I mean, we can Okay. So then I'm open to everything I love surrogacy, I love fertility, I love good everything about it okay great, okay, so then let's just go back to what?
Speaker 2:to what we just talked about. Right, the um, how the spark started. So the spark now started. And how, where do you go? Because now she's pregnant on her own, yay for her. So where do you? What, what, what now? What are your steps?
Speaker 3:So, um, I started looking up agencies around the area and I had found one and I um signed up or did everything that I, I matched, I, um, I met the. I didn't meet the couple, but I, I zoomed them and then, um, we had like a, so their, their process was different. They, I zoomed them and then immediately they put me in a chat with them, right off the bat.
Speaker 4:Yeah, With the intended parents yeah, before you're medically cleared. And everything or no Before everything? Yeah, that's risky. That's risky, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And and so they were a great couple. I love them, but the agency was just not good. Okay, there was a lot of miscommunication, there was, um, a lot of things that were like not going right and it kind of sucked. So I I ended up breaking off with that agency and that couple, okay, um, but they were so sweet and I and I still wonder till this day, like if they ever yeah, you know got pregnant or or had a baby, I know it's hard how many years
Speaker 3:ago was this yeah, this was in 2022. Oh, that's when I started, yeah okay, you're, you're fresh yeah wow, okay, okay.
Speaker 4:So it's kind of not at the end of pandemic, kind of like, yeah okay yeah yeah, 22. Okay, so you break with them. Do you find another one or do you go yeah?
Speaker 3:I did so. Then I found another agency here in San Diego. Um, actually they're in Carlsbad and they're like super amazing, just total 360 from you know.
Speaker 2:Oh great.
Speaker 3:I love them and I'm still working with them till this day. They've been, they've done all of my journeys and I just. They're so great, they're so communicative. They're communicative, I don't know.
Speaker 2:You said it right to me.
Speaker 3:They, they're just, I mean mean, everything about them is just great. And then the founder, she's um, she actually lives down the street from me. No, way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's funny yeah meant to be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure okay, so, um, so you found them, and then you are like, hey, I want to be a surrogate and I'm assuming that their process might be a little bit more, um, ethical, normal stream, yeah right yeah, so they, um, they do, you know, the screening and then they do the match process and then they do medical records the medical clearance, and then they'll do records the medical clearance, and then they'll do um the medical clearance, site, background, legal and then transfer okay okay okay, and so when it came time, I'm just curious you don't have to answer this, but I'm just curious did you know, going in like kind of like an idea of who you want to match with, like you know, domestic or international, same sex, like, not same sex, single like did you?
Speaker 2:did you care?
Speaker 4:you have a wish list.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah so when I, when I first did it, I didn't because I I didn't have a lot of knowledge right um, so I was just kind of open to whatever and, and I know, they did send me some international profiles. But then, I think, after I saw the international I was like, oh, maybe someone stateside would be better, okay, um. So then they did send me two profiles to be um review and there was a couple in Ohio and then um a couple in Texas, and we picked a couple in Texas to interview and we had it all.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:I like that, that they sent the profiles to you. And then once you liked one, they sent your profile to them. Or were you both looking at the same time? Do you know?
Speaker 3:Um, to be honest, I think I don't know, but what I think they do is that they put my profile out there and then, whenever an IP shows interest, they reach out to me, okay okay yeah, makes sense, that would make sense is that not how everybody does it though? No no, everybody's different, I know yeah, yeah like some, sometimes like I've yeah, like
Speaker 2:sometimes um like my mom. Well, you can speak for yourself.
Speaker 4:Go ahead, mom yeah, they just gave me couples Like I got the first couple, the first one, the next couple on the list, that's who I got. We didn't connect, we didn't nothing. It was horrible. They wanted to buy a baby and they did. That's all. In my journey on on the podcast, yeah, second one, I got a little bit more wiser and I said, hey, I want to see more profiles. And they and I kept asking. I think I saw six and it finally landed on the couple and I have an excellent relationship with them. Now, that's because I was able to help pick third one. Nope, I didn't get to pick them either.
Speaker 3:So, yeah.
Speaker 4:So it's helpful that surrogates get to have a have a say in it, cause if you, if there's a red flag in there and you're like oh God, no, I can't, I can't, you shouldn't have to go with them just because they're the next on the list, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, which I don't think. A lot of agencies, I don't think any of them do that anymore.
Speaker 4:Most of them don't do it anymore, yeah.
Speaker 2:But I know they really try to get, they really try to their matching person, really tries their hardest to get it, like the first time. But yeah, and then mine was similar to hers, almost copy paste, I got to. I got to look at my second one and that's the one that I have a relationship with, whereas like the first one, luckily we just worked out like it was great. But my first two were international and I think I want someone domestic now because I didn't get to like really be a part of a journey with somebody.
Speaker 3:So yeah yeah it's definitely different, for sure. I mean like the relationships are different, but yeah and they can come to more stuff too.
Speaker 2:Typically right, yeah you don't have to worry about the time difference being 12 hours ahead or something like that, like you're not sleeping and they're awake, like that's.
Speaker 3:That's a lot yeah, it is it is yeah, especially on transfer day. It's so like nerve-wracking, like are they up all night, like what are you doing right? Exactly like let me send you this picture. Let me facetime you, but it's like one o'clock in the morning, right, yeah, pretty much it's like.
Speaker 2:I'll just tell me in the morning. It's like my morning or your morning okay yeah, yeah, okay. So, um, so you got to match with with a couple in texas, and when did you guys get to like meet in person? I'm curious, was it before transfer?
Speaker 3:um, so we actually didn't meet in person until like the week before delivering wow, and they're stateside.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 4:How did you feel about that? Were you you okay with it like?
Speaker 3:um, it was fine. I mean I I would have liked for her to be there more, um, but I mean they were in texas and they they have a restaurant in texas. Oh, that's busy. You know they were kind of busy. And yeah, I mean I understand, it's sure I I would um send her pictures all the time and, you know, text her updates all the time. So I mean it was fine. And when we met, we met at a, at a restaurant here in carlsbad for breakfast, and, um, when we met it was like we've known each other forever yeah, that's really nice, that's cool oh, that's perfect.
Speaker 4:Was this their first baby? That? They were yeah, oh, that's so fun.
Speaker 2:Did you know the sex before I did? It was a little girl oh yeah so did.
Speaker 3:First did the first um transfer take it did not, it did not no, and she only had two embryos and um her the first one didn't take, so that was a little nerve-wracking right yeah, that's yeah okay.
Speaker 2:So they also because okay. So then that answers my other question, which was how many did they put in?
Speaker 4:but they only put in one so how, how, how far between were the transfers?
Speaker 3:do you remember the months like how, um the first one was, uh, the middle of june, june 23rd okay on my husband's birthday actually, yeah and then uh, so that one failed and then the second one was september 1st wow, that's quick yeah, that is quick oh that's a lot of ivf meds on you, yeah yeah, it's pretty rough and within the last three years I've done a total of like seven cycles seven med cycles. Are you like bruised like?
Speaker 2:well, not now, but oh my god, I'm assuming a lot of them were injections. Yes, actually I've done nine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because I did two, two retrievals for myself in between.
Speaker 4:You did, I did yeah, wait, okay, can we elaborate just a little bit were you donating, or were they for you?
Speaker 3:no, for myself.
Speaker 4:Look at you I don't think I've ever, we've ever have not to a surrogate, that's that's for herself yeah yeah, is there anything behind that mom? You're getting so personal it's okay, super young like you, wouldn't need to do that unless, yeah, maybe whether it helps scare or something, but gosh no, we just um.
Speaker 3:I mean my husband and I have been together for six years. We haven't had any kids. I mean I have one and he has one none together, okay, but since I work in fertility, we get like one free cycle, so we're like let's just do it. Yeah, cool, okay.
Speaker 2:I need to go over to that, that's cool yeah.
Speaker 3:Anybody needing coverage apply, oh my gosh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is super cool, okay, that makes sense. That's super cool, okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 4:All right, that's very cool, it is so. Second transfer takes Mm-hmm Any. Is it smooth sailing? Are there hiccups along the way? Because you said you know what the ultrasounds look like and all of that. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So, at that time I didn't know I didn't switch over to the other clinic where I was doing a whole bunch until I was like four or five months old, ok, ok, yeah, but the transfer, the second transfer, was smooth. The HCG was a little bit on the low side, it was like 64, I think. Ok, we were kind of like nervous but yeah, it was doubling, it went up and good, good, good, but yeah, it was doubling, it went up and good, good, good, she's here, yeah right.
Speaker 2:When was she born? She was born may of 23 of 23.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, she's two, she's, yeah, she's two. So cute.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh my gosh, how'd the?
Speaker 2:delivery go wait mom, stop it you're joking. You want to ask. What do you want to ask? How was your whole pregnancy?
Speaker 4:Oh, I did ask that.
Speaker 2:Well, I thought you were referring to the beginning, but like you know, like did you have any?
Speaker 3:like weird or happy things, yeah, so I hadn't been pregnant, and so my son is 14 now.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, you have a 14 year old. There's no way. What is happening? I so my son is 14 now. Oh my God, you have a 14-year-old there's no way.
Speaker 4:What is happening? I need your skin regimen. I can't.
Speaker 2:I was picturing you saying that you have like a nine-year-old or something, oh no, 14?.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he just turned 14 this year, so my last pregnancy was in 2011. Wow, and so it was 2011 to 2023, yeah, and, but it was the pregnancy. Honestly, it was amazing. Like I didn't feel like I was pregnant first of all. It was just so like the best, it was so perfect. That's awesome, yeah, and it's um, I, I, yeah. There was nothing that I couldn't complain about. I did have cravings to like vinegar. Oh, how random. Yeah, like I wanted a lot of like vinegar, um, not pickles, but like pickled beets, or um like ginger, uh, yeats, or um like ginger, uh, it just like that vinegary taste. Yeah, yeah. And then, like I think, like the last month before I delivered, um the shower water and I don't know what it was you like the flavor.
Speaker 3:I like the taste of it. I wouldn't I wouldn't drink it, but I like the taste of it.
Speaker 2:That's funny it's probably clean yeah.
Speaker 3:I always got clean water and some and in your area yeah yeah, yeah and then I think, the only thing so I'm a big like steak eater, I love steak, um, but I couldn't eat steak throughout the pregnancy I had like a steak aversion. And then, um, I think, like barely like two months ago, it started coming back to where I was like okay, I want me, you know and it's been two years yeah that's weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've had similar things I I used to eat eggs all the time before I was pregnant with my son. While I was pregnant with my son, I can't eat an egg to this day, and I don't like it.
Speaker 3:She's like I wouldn't mind that aversion.
Speaker 5:Yeah, oh my gosh that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Ok, so, ok. So now go ahead, mom, yeah.
Speaker 4:Well, no, so now she's, is it. Is it a couple yeah that you're OK? Is it a couple yeah that you're here before? Okay, so they're here the week before delivery. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And are you induced or is it natural? So I was induced, okay. So let me go back a little bit. So with a pregnancy, besides feeling great like my husband loved me while I was pregnant, he wants me pregnant all the time because I'm so much nicer to him. Oh, my gosh, how funny. I'm so nice, I'm so loving, I'm everything that's cute.
Speaker 3:But anyways, it must be just with the girl, though only girl, oh, okay, yeah you would think it'd be the opposite then right, yeah, I think I tell him like I think I have a hormone imbalance and the baby maybe just balanced me because I was so happy, like could be what is depression or what is anxiety, I'm so happy, but okay. So then for delivery, I went into an appointment like the last week, the 39 week appointment for the NST testing and the first appointment, I think, was like Monday and my they were saying that my fluid was a little bit low, okay, and so they made me hydrate and then they checked the fluid and it was fine, okay. I was like barely at the, at the fine line I think it had to be like at a four or five or something like that. So they sent me home and then I came back Thursday for a second check and that day she said that my fluid was really low, so they sent me to the hospital to be induced.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it was crazy, cause I remember I was just looking at the shirt that I was wearing that day um I I called my husband in the bathroom, I started crying and he was like what's wrong? And I'm like I'm just gonna have a baby today and I'm so scared like I haven't had a baby in 12, 13 years, like what's gonna happen, wow. But, um, when we ended up going to the hospital, they admitted me um, they, they did like the balloon and that I think out of the entire pregnancy, delivery, everything postpartum, the balloon was the really worst oh yuck thing I have ever experienced in my life like, can I ask and this might be TMI, but like pressure wise was that like what it was for you?
Speaker 2:it?
Speaker 3:it wasn't pressure, it was just uncomfortable. To be honest, I don't even know how to explain it it was just bad, it just felt like that oh no, I get it.
Speaker 2:I get it. It's not pleasurable at all. It's not, especially if you don't have an epidural yeah, and I didn't.
Speaker 3:Okay, I didn't have one um, but they did the balloon and then, um, I think when they took it out, I was like at a two or a four. Yeah, I didn't do very much. So Ips were there but they were like running around doing some stuff because, you know, they didn't want to be at the hospital for two days. And then, I think, like the next day, who told them it would be two days?
Speaker 3:No, well, I mean, they were staying like next door, okay, but um but they were just like doing stuff, like outside the hospital waiting for me to tell them to come. Oh, okay, yeah. But the night that I actually delivered, the nurse said like, hey, you might want to get IPs in here, because it looks like you're going to start pushing around one. So I let her know um, I'm gonna start pushing around like one o'clock. So then, um, my husband was there and I was with kaiser, and so they only let two people in and it kind of sucked, because I wish the dad was there wait, even with this kind of situation, they're not nice no, all right.
Speaker 5:Well, that's kind of messed up.
Speaker 2:Wait, wait you're not in a surgical room, you're like in a normal nursing room.
Speaker 4:That's weird, okay, because you said 2022, may, no, no, no, 2023. 2023?. So no, it wasn't a COVID thing either.
Speaker 3:No, it's their protocol only to people, because even now, like so, I worked for kaiser for a couple months, um, just recently, and that's that's like their protocol only to people, regardless of the situation okay really that's a shame.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's very sad. The mom was in the room then.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the the mom was yeah, okay, all right, and so then I started pushing at like one in the morning, and then she was there. She was holding my leg and my husband, and when she came out, Sorry, still no epidural.
Speaker 2:You're like powering, oh no yeah.
Speaker 3:I did get the epidural oh my goodness. No, yeah, yeah, I did the epidural. I'm like, no, yeah, yeah, I did. Okay. No, I wanted to have a natural birth, but no, I don't think so. I had a c-section with my son. You went to v-back and I did have a v-back v-back. It was successful.
Speaker 2:Yeah surprises well, but you're. You're what? 12, 13 years apart? So yeah they're usually like sure yeah, you're healed, you're fine, like that's a long enough time wow yeah, good for you.
Speaker 4:Congrats on that one. Absolutely thank you.
Speaker 3:I know I'm so proud of that too, yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Okay, sorry, so she's there, she's in the room yeah.
Speaker 3:So she's in the room, um, and uh, so she comes out and they put her like on me, oh, and they're cleaning her up, but she, um, like, wasn't breathing I guess. Oh my gosh, she, she was kind of blue, um, but I don't, I don't know if it was a sit, I didn't. I don't know if they knew that the baby was not breathing when she came out, because the nikki team was was in there. Oh yeah, they had everything set up. So I don't, they didn't tell me, they didn't tell her, they didn't tell anybody. Wow, oh, and my um. I know I didn't say this, but my IPs were Chinese, okay oh, okay yeah, so, um.
Speaker 3:So the baby came out, she wasn't breathing, um. So they took her. She cut the cord, mom cut the cord, they took her to the little incubator and they were trying to get her to come back or cry, and then we just heard that.
Speaker 4:Oh, thank goodness.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was just such a relief.
Speaker 2:Sorry, is that normal to have the NICU team in there for a baby delivery?
Speaker 4:No 39 weeks.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. They knew. They had to have known.
Speaker 4:Yeah, was the cord wrapped around her neck? No, I wonder if her cells went down, like if she was, you know, d-cell? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah Right, it was dipping the last hour, but they, but they never like, made it seem like it was an issue because right once I had a contract once that my contraction stopped, it would go back to normal. Okay, so, like they, they were saying she was in distress, but it wasn't like in distress, like emergency. Yeah, um, they let me push, yeah, let me push her out. And I mean, they never made it seem like it was a nine one. One thing yeah, and.
Speaker 4:But since she's already in the pelvic canal and you're already, you know, 10 centimeters and you're pushing, so it's better to just get her out than to try and go in and do a C-section. If she wasn't, if there was nothing on the monitor, right, then that becomes that dire situation. But they were still getting something, obviously. But good for them to have the NICU in there, right, yeah, and not to panic you, because that's the last thing you need when you're a baby yeah, yeah, that was that was.
Speaker 3:It was kind of scary like at that moment, but then it was. I remember looking at the mom and and, um, the mom was like, is she okay? And I was like, yes, like she's fine. And then, um, you know, like they took her and she was still holding on to my hand, she was crying like she was panicking and um, yeah, when we heard the baby cry, I was like go to your baby. Like you know, go go see your baby like that's yours, like go take care of her. And yeah, when they, when they, when she started crying, like immediately they took her they took her and mom.
Speaker 2:So good, and then did they get to go meet up with dad yeah, um, you know what?
Speaker 4:I don't know right, yeah, they're probably going to the NICU, so maybe he was going there, who knows?
Speaker 3:gonna go there yeah yeah so then after I delivered, um, I didn't, I didn't talk to the ips until like the next day.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, until the next day in the evening, oh wow, yeah they didn't even check on you well, no, because I think there was just so much going on with the baby, yeah, and and um, so they moved me downstairs to the recovery, okay, and then. So I was there and then my coordinator came with dad. Um, you know, they brought me some flowers and I was like, oh, how's the baby? And he was just so grateful, like, oh my gosh, liz, like sory, and and it was, it was just so emotional, right yeah, I'm like how's the baby?
Speaker 3:and he said, like she's fine, like she's in the NICU. She has to stay for a couple days, but she's good, good good, good, did you know her weight?
Speaker 4:did they give you all, like the 9-1-1s, all the info? The 4-1-1, excuse me, 9-1-1, not an emergency she was 22 inches.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, she was long. Yeah, um, she was six pounds. Okay, that's good, that's a good size, yeah, but she was so tiny, like I mean she was long and it was funny because her feet were like scrunched up because she was so long and she never even looked cute yeah she's so adorable, so fun, that's so sweet my mom's like are you sure that's not your baby? Because you looked chinese when you were born.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh so do you get to hold her before you leave the hospital or no, because she's in the NICU?
Speaker 3:yeah. So then okay. So then I stayed overnight the next day. So then the following day I was, I was uh, discharged, okay, and you know I texted mom like, hey, do you mind if I come down to see the baby? And so she said yeah. So then we went down to the NICU and the baby was under my last name, so it was baby, oh lee, yeah, instead of their last name, um, and so I went down, I I let them know, which was kind of weird because I I told her them her last name and then they were like no, and then I was like, but I just got discharged, what do you mean? The baby's not here like they're so good you know.
Speaker 3:And then mom comes out, and then she's all oh, you know, she's under Lee. So then, yeah, she, let us go back there. Me and my husband just sat there for like 10 minutes, I think, but like when I got in there I could not stop crying, right.
Speaker 4:I just seen her Look at the beautiful thing.
Speaker 3:you just did yes, yeah, like I just couldn't believe it. You just did yes, yeah, like I just couldn't believe it, and then she was like hooked up to like the monitors and stuff, I don't know. It just kind of made me feel some kind of way. For sure I get that but she's thriving now, yeah yeah, yeah, she's walking and talking.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh everything does she know about you? I mean, she's what two, so maybe not too little.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know. To be honest, I don't know, I don't really talk to the parents too much. Yeah, they send me a picture every now and then I'll text mom like hey, happy new year or happy birthday or Merry. Christmas, every first I send a happy first birthday. I send her a gift, so she'll send me like a picture. That's sweet, yeah, but other than that I don't know yeah, did you want more?
Speaker 4:did you want to be able to stay in touch, like and just or no? It did. You just didn't know.
Speaker 3:Because it was your first journey, you were like I don't know so I, I didn't know at first um, I did want it, but I wasn't sure, like, what everything was gonna look like at the end. Yeah, um, she stayed in the hospital for seven days a week yeah, a week in the NICU and then they left. Like five days later they drove back home, but I got to see her the day before they left too, at the hotel.
Speaker 2:Oh, good, did your son get to go see her like was she like not really. I mean he's older, so maybe he's like not even interested so funny thing about that so my husband's son.
Speaker 3:He's now 11, so he was nine ten yeah yeah, they. Well, they were two years younger than what they are now. Okay, um, they didn't know that I was pregnant. I didn't tell them that we were doing this. They didn't know the whole time live with you guys.
Speaker 4:There's like a they do live with you guys.
Speaker 3:They do yeah, wait like okay so like every other like every other weekend thing or no.
Speaker 3:So my, my son lives with me full-time and he goes with his dad on the weekends. And then my other son, he is here half the time, half the time with his mom. Okay, um, but my, my son, he's like he has, he's so innocent, like he just doesn't know, like if he doesn't know he's not gonna question it. Okay, he's you know.
Speaker 3:And so I wasn't gonna be like oh, hey, I'm having a baby, because they've they've always expressed that they want a sister, that they want a baby sister. So I was like I don't want to tell them and have them feel some kind of way. So we went throughout the pregnancy I would go to like school events with him and the teachers would ask him like hey, you're gonna have a sibling, and he's like no, or like that. I remember he said the principal asked me if you're pregnant and I said okay, to just tell him I'm fat, I was gaining a lot of weight, and I guess at one point he did tell her that like, oh, she's just gaining weight, and the principal never asked after that.
Speaker 2:So okay, yeah, so did you not have like a visible, like like a bum? Like if people are asking if she's pregnant, yeah you probably know, I know, but like I, like I couldn't hide it, like you would look at me and be like she's pregnant, like you know like it's that's what it is. I did ask somebody.
Speaker 4:They the baby was born eight months ago and I asked them when's the baby due? So like I've never done that again.
Speaker 2:So yeah so it can happen, right, but oh yeah, wow, I'm just shocked yeah, the fact that you hid it from your kids who like live with you. Yeah, my son would be way too invested. He'd be like what's going on?
Speaker 3:yeah, well, I mean my, my younger one, um, his mom is really nosy, so I know she told him that, um, because she asked my sister in law and then my sister-in-law was like I don't know, I'm like that's not my business, whatever, um, but but she, you know, she ended up figuring out that I was a surrogate. So I think she did tell my younger one and so I think at the end they, they knew, I mean everybody, everybody knew did your family know, yeah, my family.
Speaker 3:Everybody knew about my kid, okay, okay okay, okay, that is funny.
Speaker 2:I mean props to you.
Speaker 4:Yeah, did you pump for the baby or anything like that. Did you even go down that road, or no?
Speaker 3:I tried. I did pump for six, six weeks, eight weeks good for you. But they didn't want the breast milk. They didn't. No, I know, and I kept telling them, like she's in the NICU, it's gonna help her, like her Like let me take it to her Right. And no, they didn't want it.
Speaker 5:Oh.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Were you able to donate it or no, I did.
Speaker 3:I was going to a chiropractor during the pregnancy down the street and I guess her sister her sister went to jail or something Like. I mean Aaron out there doing laundry but she ended up getting like custody of the baby and so I gave her the breast milk and yeah, that worked out.
Speaker 4:Yeah, very nice.
Speaker 2:That's very. Look at that Making lemonade out of lemons.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, okay, so you heal really well. Yes, no complications, okay, awesome. And then do you get the bug again.
Speaker 3:You're like I got to do this again, yeah, so then, okay, so I had the baby and then, like that same. So I think I had the baby Wednesday, I don't remember what day, yeah, wednesday. So then we had a tournament that weekend I went, and then on Sunday we had a soccer tournament right back into life, yeah yeah, just like not was never pregnant.
Speaker 3:I know that we had a, we had a practice or we had a tournament. Then we had a tournament the next weekend and then I went to both and then she's like the team mom, she's like where, what, what happened where? Where's the baby? Just pop it out and come back, huh. So, um, but the agency had a brunch on Sunday and I went and, um, yeah, and I told her like I'm ready to get back in it, like, oh, my god, put me in. So they did um, they got my profile ready again to get rematched, um, and, and I got matched pretty quick.
Speaker 3:Um, I think actually I might have had to wait three months to get rematched okay, that's fair um, but it was still pretty fast, yeah, still quick, still fast, yeah, and so I rematched um with an ip from uh shanghai, oh, yeah yeah, and they were. They were great. They were a young couple and um we matched, so we were going to go through the process and then, I guess during like the medical record screening, the doctor told her that he wanted her to try um transferring her own embryos to herself first before getting a surrogate so we, so they broke the match.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, yeah. So then I got rematched again to a single dad in China. Oh yeah, he was 50 years old. Wow, it was pretty crazy.
Speaker 4:But it's an undertaking for him, like you know. You're just like wow really, but maybe he just never found the right partner either. Yeah, female, whatever. Wow, okay, that worked out.
Speaker 3:He was a gay single dad. Yeah, okay, yeah. So, um, he was saying that he just wanted to have kids because it was just he. I guess he was an only child. He have kids because it was just he. I guess he was an only he was an only child. And his mom was getting older and it was just him. So he wanted to have kids of his own. So he had um, a donor, a 26 year old donor, um, and then so we we matched, we did everything, and then we get to like our transfer and then I find out that he has a second surrogate at the same time. Oh, you find out at transfer. Yeah, so my husband says that this was told to me during the match meeting. Really, I don't remember.
Speaker 2:Oh, but your husband remembers, he remembered. He says he thinks he remembers, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 4:It could be one of those things where like you you know like, you think about it for a long time, then you start to question like, did that actually happen?
Speaker 2:like this or like that? Yeah, he was doing a dual journey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, having two tandem, tandem journey, yeah, and. And so me and the other surrogate were having transfers like, um, I think the first one was like a week apart. I was first and then she was next, and then so the first transfer again did not work, okay. So then her first transfer also did not work, yeah. So then we were kind of questioning like, oh, you know, is this going to be a problem? So we decided to do another transfer, so we go into the second transfer and again she's doing the transfer a week apart and my transfer takes, but hers does not, okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so one out of four tries. Yeah, whoa.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it was a little tough. So then that whole journey it was kind of like an eye opener to all the problems that could come with surrogacy.
Speaker 4:It was it was pretty rough. You're still with the same agency, right? So, yeah, they were able to navigate all of that with you and be helpful. They were, yeah, good.
Speaker 3:Good. Yeah they were yeah, good, good, yeah, um. So we have the, the beta, beta day. Um, numbers were great, they were awesome. They're doubling um. Numbers were rising fast and good, okay, um. So then at some point I was like oh man, you, you can't tell if you're having twins or triplets with the with the hcp number, but it was so high that I was questioning like what? Is happening here yeah, multiples yeah, and so, um, then.
Speaker 3:So then we're good, we're confirmed pregnant. And then my husband and I decided to take a trip to, like Big Sur. Okay, oh, okay, yeah, and um, I already had like a feeling like something was off, and so we get to our hotel. Well, first of all, a lot of things went wrong on that trip too. We got to the hotel, we didn't even have a room. I booked the wrong hotel for the wrong date, but we ended up getting a room and then, um, you know, we're hanging out, we go to dinner. We come back then the next day, where we just ran, we had our dogs with us, we decided to go on a walk and I just felt like this huge gush, oh. And I was like babe, like no, like this is not good. So I ran to the bathroom and there's just like blood everywhere. Like no, no, no, it was just really bad. So I'm like freaking out and can I ask you, do you think like?
Speaker 2:were you thinking because you're in the field right? Were you thinking worst case scenario? Or were you thinking like subchronic hematoma?
Speaker 3:so I I I instantly thought maybe it's a subchorionic. Okay, at least I was hoping.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, because those are common. Yeah, but thought of miscarriage. Actually, no, no, no, I take that back. So I did think I was having a miscarriage, just because it was so much.
Speaker 3:Okay, and so we went to the hospital. We went to the hospital, they did a scan, um. We went to the hospital, they did a scan and, um, like I, she's asking me these questions like, um, when was your transfer? Like, how far along are you? And? And so she's asking me these questions, like telling me that the baby's there, um, and that she had found a heartbeat. Like she didn't tell me, but she asked me a question. I don't remember what she asked me, but I was like the baby has a heartbeat and she's like, oh, I can't tell you. The doctor will go over it with you. Tell me, like, can I look at the screens? Like, let me look.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But she didn't. So then we go back and the doctor comes in. He's telling me that there is a heartbeat, that he sees the flicker, okay, um, but that the, the baby looks not normal, that the ember, the sack and everything doesn't look normal. So then he talks to, like the doctor, the fertility doctor, they end up connecting and he's like oh well, if you see a, uh, you know everything, there is a subchorionic and so she's fine, just have her relax, be on bed rest, yeah okay I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:So so you got one doctor saying things don't look normal and you got another doctor saying like you're fine, just go home and rest yeah, it will happen.
Speaker 5:Yeah, well, they had seen the sack.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I wish I had the pictures actually, guys, because it because, it's big. Pretty crazy, really, yeah. So like it's the sac right or like the you know the yeah, oh, my God, I can't think.
Speaker 4:The amniotic sac, your uterus, oh, the uterus. Okay, okay.
Speaker 3:So it's your uterus, and then you know the little embryo in the sac.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, and so it was kind of like it looked like a fish. Oh, it looked like a swedish fish actually.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know the red ones, yeah, yeah, and so on the side, you know, there was like a big black spot, so that was a subchorionic white and but, when the doctor, he was like it looks not normal, but there's a flicker, like there's a heartbeat, so the baby's there.
Speaker 3:It's just too small, okay to dictate whether it's it's good or not, okay. So, um, the fertility doctor's, like she just has subchlorion and do bed rest. So I, we went back, I, we didn't do anything after that, we drove home and then I had my like six week appointment. Um, I was doing monitoring at my clinic that I worked at and the doctor, she is amazing, I love her, I trust her with my life. Obviously I did two retrievals with her myself, yeah, but, um, she's just great, dr Davis, and she, um gave it to me straight.
Speaker 3:It's just like this is not a normal growing embryo, okay, um, the there was like uh, on the picture that she gave me it was with the uterus, and then there was like a line, there was like a tissue line, oh yeah, and then there was like the embryo and the, the baby and the sack, and there was like a line, the the sack was like kind of collapsing, it was like weird, but she didn't find a flicker, she didn't find a heartbeat, nothing, okay. So they sent those results to my fertility clinic, um, to the, the transfer one, yeah. And then they were like, oh no, like can you come to LA to, so that the doctor can just check you himself?
Speaker 5:Oh to LA.
Speaker 2:So I did.
Speaker 3:The next day my husband and I drove up to LA. The doctor found a heartbeat. Really, yeah. And with like the baby's fine, like there's a heartbeat, like they're fine.
Speaker 2:Huh yeah, and was like the baby's fine, like there's a heartbeat, like they're fine. Huh yeah, so that was uh. He didn't say anything about the abnormal looking sack or anything and the tissue line and all that, nothing, huh, okay, what?
Speaker 3:no, he didn't, and I haven't even told him like so, the baby, when, like when you see the flicker, there was a ring around the heart. So I had asked him I said, is that ring normal there? And he's, he's, like it's fine, but I don't know if it was just like not to worry me, or for me not to ask questions, or yeah, right, I don't know, are you still bleeding at this time?
Speaker 4:because the the um, the hematoma are, you, are, you, are you not at this time, okay, no, and stops um.
Speaker 3:So then after after that appointment, um, uh, we had a trip to kentucky to go see my husband's sister, and so we flew there and then I had to do like my 10 week appointment, okay, and so I did my 10 week appointment in Louisville, and when I went there I kind of already had a feeling that it was like not good, and so they confirmed that there was no heartbeat and that it was just not there anymore, Wow.
Speaker 4:You don't recall losing anything like another gush or nothing like that.
Speaker 3:No, just absorbed. Wow, I mean, it was still there, it just had no heartbeat. No heartbeat. Okay, the baby was still there.
Speaker 4:Aww, yeah. What's the intended dad doing this whole time? Is he communicating with you, is he?
Speaker 2:just crickets. First of all, does he speak english? He, he spoke a little bit of english, okay very little. That makes it challenging I know with wechat. It makes it easier, but it's still challenging. So you were must have been going through the agency and the agency was keeping him updated.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, well, we were on wechat, so I would give him the updates there and he would respond yeah, okay, but um, like I was giving him the updates, so when I started bleeding I didn't message him, I messaged my coordinator and she got in contact with them to let them know, um, but then when I saw a heartbeat, or when they come from the heartbeat and the picture, I sent them the picture, yeah, and he was super excited and yeah.
Speaker 3:But then when I miscarried and all that stuff, like there was just crickets, like nothing, absolutely nothing, yeah. And so crickets from him, yeah, okay, yeah. And so, um, crickets from him, yeah, okay. So then, um, they gave me the option to do the pill or to let it pass naturally or do a dnc, um, but I was just kind of over it at that point and I was like I just want to, you know, just let my, you know, get it out, yeah and um, so my, my doctor that I worked with, she did a dnc. They sent it out for testing and it was normal. I was, the tissue was normal. So I don't, I don't know, I don't know what happened just a fluke one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's very sad.
Speaker 4:So you don't continue on with him, no, right.
Speaker 3:No, I broke the match with him after that because three out of four. And then a miscarriage abnormal miscarriage.
Speaker 3:And to not get the support or any check-in, just like you know, just like the humanness of it, right, right, yeah that's super and I think that was kind of tough because, like, he didn't even say like I hope you're doing okay or like how right, like any question, and I mean I did fine, I didn't have any connection, you know, to the embryo. Yeah, they need to ham and that thing, so it was okay, um, but I think I think my feelings just got hurt. Then I still tell my husband like I can't believe you didn't even ask if I was okay.
Speaker 2:Right, because it's the human body through right it's the human decency to be like, are you, are you okay? Like you were doing this thing for me. I don't know, I right, and I hate to say it like that, because, but like if I was an intended parent, I would definitely feel myself like are you okay? Like I'm hurting this is awful, like yes, but are you okay too? Like thank you, you know, for trying and doing this, like right, I'd want to assure, but then again, right, I'm biased because I'm a surrogate, but like I would want to and I wouldn't want to make you know that I appreciate you and I don't think it's your fault right I think that's what every surrogate wants to hear.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you. I don't think it's your fault. I think science is science and things are going to happen and I'm in a lot of pain and I need time and I hope you're okay, like if I were to get that right. Okay, sending you my love Talk whenever, like simple cutoff, totally fine, yep. So yeah, it makes sense why your feelings were hurt, like that's a really dramatic thing.
Speaker 4:When did this all happen, Liz? How far ago.
Speaker 3:So this was in 2024, so march last year. Yeah, last year, okay march march 13th, 2024. Knows the date? Yeah, what's my brother's birthday?
Speaker 2:so oh my gosh, first your husband's birthday. People just gotta stop having birthdays yeah yikes yeah, but that was so then.
Speaker 3:So then I had talked to my coordinator. I guess he wanted to do another transfer with you. He was open to doing another one, yeah with with you the person you didn't like check in with? Yeah, with both of us, with me and the other surrogate but so the other surrogate had held off because she wanted to see what was going on first, right, right, so I made the decision to break match, and then she broke the match with him too.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah yeah, did you know her? Did you ever meet her?
Speaker 3:no, I didn't, but I guess she was, um she's friends with one of the uh coordinators at my agency. Okay, um, so I have like seen her profile, but I, you know, I would always tell her like, tell her I said good luck and like right, you know, yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 4:So does nothing after mark like are you done? Are you thinking taking time? Are you trying it again?
Speaker 3:no, so we went right back into it. You did, oh my god, like back to back. Okay, yeah, so then. Okay. So then I start my next journey um, again, I get matched, and then with another couple in china, and um, we matched. We're gonna go through the process. But I think when they were reviewing my records, the doctor had told the ifp that they wanted me to do a hysteroscopy. Okay, and he was like oh, no, no, I think she needs too much testing, so let's just break the match. So they broke the match wow dude.
Speaker 4:Most everybody has to have a hysteroscopy. I mean that's just normal, that that's they want to just see if you can hold the fluid like no, but he was like no.
Speaker 2:She needs too many testing. I need to do my job and I don't feel like wait.
Speaker 4:That was the ivf doctor, not the family, who said she needs too much testing the idea, the family did that.
Speaker 3:oh, just kidding, sorry doctor.
Speaker 2:I like being like what a rude doctor Never mind my bad Sorry.
Speaker 3:Oh, no, the dad. My records were approved with the same clinic, but the dad was like she needs too many things and so they broke the match. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Okay well on to better, yeah, so then I get rematched. Oh my gosh, my Lord. Well onto better. Yeah, so then I get rematched. Oh my gosh, so I get rematched with a, um, another couple, and she's so great like she's, she was really nice and, and, um, I, I wish everything worked out for her, but it unfortunately I didn't either. Um, yeah, we, so then we go through everything. Uh, we ended up doing three transfers, oh, wow, yeah, and they all failed too uh, were their hair, her eggs, or or did they get donor?
Speaker 3:they were hers they were her eggs, her eggs and and and his sperm and um but um. He was transferring embryos from one clinic to another and yeah and there was just a lot going on um the first transfer. Actually I I was. I'm not like a habitual tester. I will literally test the night of transfer, oh my god, I love you and I have no shame because I will test. I want to see the progression in lines.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I get that, I feel that gotcha and um, so I I was testing every day and then, I think like day four in the evening, I got a line, um, and by day eight it was gone. Oh yeah, so it was trying, but it just it didn't. And we did two more and then in between I did a hysteroscopy, I did endometrial biopsy, wow, oh my god um I mean, everything was normal with me, everything was fine, but it just it didn't work that's a shame, yeah I'm sorry to hear that.
Speaker 4:So now, yeah, so when does that all end? Because to do three transfers, that's, that's a good, that's a lot. And if this eight, nine, ten like and that was only march of 24 that the other thing happened right with the guy. So when yeah when do you break match?
Speaker 3:obviously so she actually broke the match with me. Okay, yeah, yeah. So now I'm, I'm on the search again, but I'm not very hopeful actually. No, I'm wrong, because the agency actually did match me. Or I had a meeting with um, another couple from china, but um, he was also 50, he was like 57, wow, and she was younger. He already had kids. She had two older kids. Okay, um, but I don't know something like in me and even my husband was saying like you have, you know that history with an older couple or an older man, you don't know, you don't want to go through that. And then yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:So I told the agency no, yeah, you have to go with what feels right for you. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I'm hoping Okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay. Well, good luck to you, because I hope you've been through enough. It's time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good vibes coming your way, I know actually, geez, you don't seem to be like a match though no, you don't seem hard to be matched.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, I think this time it's taking a little bit longer, but that's okay I mean as an ip, like, well, I'm not an ip, like if I was an IP I would probably be. Really I mean, who wouldn't? It's three failed transfers, a miscarriage.
Speaker 4:Oh, I see. So you're saying they're people like that and have had an open mind to ask the questions like they're out there and they yeah, you know there.
Speaker 2:There are people out there that are like that, that are like well, that wasn't my embryo. What does the doctor say like?
Speaker 4:what does my doctor say like things like that so, and if the agency is willing to match you and keep you in their rotation and the IVF doctor has cleared you, you're fine, it's not, it's nothing.
Speaker 4:It's the circumstances that were dealt with. I mean, when you well, I won't even go there, but when you were talking about the one story and I'm just like, oh, this doesn't sound, and he was doing dual or tandem, as you use the word, I'm thinking, hmm, maybe he already knows something's up and he's just trying, you know, more bang for the buck or, you know, just trying to get something to take. I feel bad for him. I hope he's gone on to find, to be able to have children, if he, if that's really what his dream was. But you've had enough, you, you, you need, you need a couple in their thirties who just kids and just, yes, do it, it, yeah, that's that live in san diego too, would be nice.
Speaker 3:Oh my god dream, dream watch you're gonna show up tomorrow.
Speaker 2:You're gonna get a profile tomorrow watch I know, I know, oh, my gosh love it yeah I just, I just wish they were more understanding.
Speaker 3:Like I know, not everybody knows about ivf and you know how it works and and the statistics of it and being a surrogate and how that works and yeah and but I, I mean, if I didn't have the information that I, that I know, I, if I was an IPA, I'd be like no, I would want someone that is perfect, I get that.
Speaker 2:Who's perfect.
Speaker 4:I know If you're a first time surrogate, you're not a proven surrogate, so that can't be considered perfect, right, right if? If you're a third time surrogate and the first two went well, doesn't mean you're perfect, right, it's. It's everything you know, science, it's everything together yeah, yeah, no, you're who knows.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's the reason that we like started the podcast to begin with, right to spread education and awareness about things that aren't really talked about or that aren't, that aren't really like out there to help you understand, and so maybe somebody's gonna hear this and be like I, like Liz wait, she seems great I don't care about all that, let me talk to her.
Speaker 4:Let me talk to her, let me know all this you know what I mean, because I, honestly, half of it is the match. It's the people who are doing this together. It really is. There's got to be the support and there's got to be the understanding, and we're working towards an end goal, which is a baby, a healthy baby and when it's meant to be, it'll be.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's going to happen for you. Yes, it is, and it sounds like you've got a great agency. Did you want to give them a plug? Because they sound like they're phenomenal?
Speaker 5:Seriously road to baby in carl's band okay I was like I think you're I think you're the surrogate that I follow.
Speaker 2:That's with road to baby oh yeah, I'm pretty sure it's her.
Speaker 3:That's a cool name, that's awesome and they're amazing. I mean they're so supportive and throughout the whole journey. I mean they're always gifting you stuff throughout your journey too, like send you like all these gift bags, and I mean it's cool to know that, like you know, someone cares, even if that's why you're with an agency, because there are times and you needed it over yeah, yeah, you needed it because some surrogates.
Speaker 4:Don't need it at all because everything's just like we got it, we're great, right, and that's the dream. But more often than not, there's going to be a hiccup and you're going to need somebody in your corner. So so, thank God, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And they're amazing Like they always backed me up on everything, like I know with with the second journey that that I had the miscarriage you know there was. There was stuff with some payments and stuff like that, and they were always like on top of it to get everything done. And I mean I love them. I don't have anything bad to say about them. They are the best agency I've ever worked with and I've reached out to multiple and their process is just so easy like I literally don't know.
Speaker 3:Throughout the first journey I didn't have to question anything, I didn't have to do anything, just sign, sign the paper, read and sign. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Nice.
Speaker 5:Good.
Speaker 4:Glad, happy for you. Yeah, shout out to road to baby.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You've got a supporter in Liz yeah.
Speaker 2:You are one strong woman. I will say that you are determined and strong, and that's you know very needed in circus.
Speaker 4:yet yeah, pretty happy and stuff. So I don't know. I think your husband needs to take another look, you don't?
Speaker 3:need to be pregnant. It's because he's not here. No, yeah, there you go there, you go.
Speaker 4:His energy's not in the house yeah, oh how funny oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Well, do you have any advice to give anyone that's like looking to become a first time surrogate, or like for their next journey?
Speaker 3:um advice. Let's see. Well, if you're trying to be a surrogate or if you've been thinking about being a surrogate, just do it.
Speaker 2:I love it just do it before I hit record just decide no. Before I hit record. Before you popped on mom. I was talking to Liz, I was like I love all your tattoos. She was like thank you. I'm like I really want a half sleeve, but I like don't know, and she's like just do it yeah.
Speaker 4:There you go. I think that's your mantra. Just do it, it's your motto.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean, do your research on your agencies.
Speaker 2:But yeah, if you've been, if you've been looking into it like, just you need that push. This is your, this is your sign. Just do it. I love it. It's some of the best advice. Yep, yeah, yep, dive right in. Right, yep, dive in. You should. You'll figure it out as you go. We're all here to help you. Yeah, well, good luck to you Good luck.
Speaker 4:I hope it all works out for you.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I do too, I hope so.
Speaker 2:Keep us posted I mean I follow you so like I'll keep. It's so funny. I was like I think she's with road to baby. Why, I know that, but I know that. Yeah. I don't know why. I know that Maybe you've posted about it, or maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3:I have a few times okay, yeah okay, because I like stuck in my head and I tag them on all of like my surrogacy stuff too.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, because I think you're the only surrogate that I know that's with them.
Speaker 4:That's the first time their name yeah, which is weird because it's a california-based agency, but it's just not la, I know, like all the la ones, it's just yeah, I didn't know that one, san diego. Now I do there, you go now I do, yeah, lovely, they're awesome.
Speaker 3:And the owner she's great, she's amazing, I love her. Shout out to jen no, thank you, that's perfect, thanks for sharing all that with us.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh, that's a lot.
Speaker 2:I know, sorry no don't be sorry. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4:Never apologize, never, and you were so positive through all of it and you're like, okay, then this happened and that I was like I know this girl has been through the ringer, but you're gonna get it again. It's gonna happen again. Yeah, it just. It's just not that right match yet. It's just not there.
Speaker 2:They're there yeah, they're out there, yeah, and they're gonna hear this and be like I love liz, like and you're gonna have like six people go.
Speaker 4:I want her. Yeah, yeah, really, get to choose, yeah.
Speaker 3:And you know it's funny, because I love being a surrogate so much that when I was working with my doctor, with Dr Davis, I would tell her like hey, dr Davis, like you know, if this patient needs, she would say like, be a surrogate for these patients, a joke, I don't know if she was joking around, but she would say it and I'd be like you know what, just put them all in me and I'll have them all like like baby roulette.
Speaker 4:And we can DNA test them when they come out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I wish I could help everybody. Oh right, Wouldn't that?
Speaker 4:you got the right heart, liz. That's that's well. That's the heart behind a surrogate I wish. I could help everybody Yep. So more power to you, girl, good luck.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 4:Again, I know that was a lot to share, but I we so appreciate it. We really do. We really really do and hopefully we'll see you at the next brunch, yeah.
Speaker 2:That would be really fun If you're not doing anything tomorrow.
Speaker 4:Okay. Sounds good, sounds good I know I have work. I know that pesky little thing, a job. All right, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks so much. All right, you take care. Good luck, man. She had, she had a roller coaster, yeah, with all the loops like oh my god, I'm so impressed because she just kept the positivity up and that that's hard to do, but she's clearly not hard to match no she's been matched several times.
Speaker 2:No, oh, it's not a.
Speaker 4:I really don't think that that the history of whatever you want to call all that has anything to do with it I you know, because you got to look into why that history.
Speaker 2:You gotta look at each I would like to look into why and I you got to look at each scenario I would like to look into why, and I would too. Obviously there are but but right, but just how like? Surrogates want particular IPs, IPs want particular surrogates we get that, we get that, but there is definitely somebody out there. Oh God, yes, yeah, yeah absolutely.
Speaker 4:There's so many people in the world. So during your journey, Liz, you'll have to come back on when you're pregnant again.
Speaker 5:No, no, when she has the baby.
Speaker 4:Okay, I like talking to them in between. I like talking to them when they're not having a baby.
Speaker 2:Okay, well then, sure, let's do that, ellen.
Speaker 4:Let's do that Just to find out how things are going, just to get excited. A mid-checkup and people can get going to have a baby. Countdown, countdown to baby. I like it.
Speaker 2:I like it, I love it. All right, Okay Well, thank you so much, Liz. If anybody has any questions or stories they would like to share, please feel free to reach out to us on Instagram at stop period sit period surrogate, or you guys can reach out in an email at stop period sit period surrogate at gmailcom.
Speaker 4:Thanks for listening everybody. It's been another edition of Stop Sit Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Bye Bye.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone. If you ever thought about becoming a surrogate, I want to share something with you.
Speaker 5:Stop Sit Surrogate is now a matching and referral agency that helps guide you through the very first steps of your journey. We'll walk with you until you're matched and connected with a trusted agency that supports you all the way through. It's such a meaningful process and knowing you're not alone makes a huge difference. So if you're curious about surrogacy or ready to take that first step, check us out at stopsitsurrogatecom.
Speaker 4:If you enjoyed this podcast, be sure to give us a like and subscribe. Also, check out the link to our YouTube channel in the description, and be sure to also check out our children's book my Mom has Superpowers, Sold on Amazon and Etsy.