Stop. Sit. Surrogate.

She Carried Their Dream And Found Her Calling

• Kenedi & Ellen Smith • Season 6 • Episode 4

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#surrogacy 
#ivf 
#surrogate

Lyndsey’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lstrickland1026?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

A single decision—stick to your non-negotiables—can reshape an entire surrogacy journey. We sit down with an experienced surrogate from North Carolina who takes us from the first late-night Google search to two very different matches, one declined for an NDA and one embraced for connection and trust. Along the way, she reveals the real timeline of IVF: long stretches of waiting, injections that sting, a failed transfer that tests your resolve, and the quiet shift from self-blame to science-informed acceptance.

You’ll hear how clarity changes everything. She wanted a relationship, not a transaction—and that boundary led to a delivery room filled with joy, grandparents peeking from behind a curtain, and intended parents who went from “we might not watch” to cutting the cord and hearing their son’s first cry. She shares how kids understand surrogacy with disarming honesty (“They’re the bakers; I’m the oven”), and how family members learned what genetic links, consent, and privacy actually mean. The postpartum chapter is refreshingly grounded: handing over care, pumping briefly, donating milk, prioritizing sleep and home, and using agency-backed mental health check-ins to stay balanced.

We also cover the nuts and bolts that rarely make it to social posts: mock cycles and why clinics request them, mini-legal for mocks and ensuring compensation, life insurance with correct beneficiaries and timelines, and a crucial clause granting her husband medical decision-making if international parents are mid-flight. It’s practical, tender, and fiercely honest about what protects everyone—the surrogate, the baby, and the intended parents—when plans shift.

If you’re a first-time surrogate, an intended parent, or simply curious about how love, medicine, and meticulous planning create families, this story delivers hard-won wisdom and hope. Subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review telling us your biggest takeaway—what boundary would you never compromise?

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https://stopsitsurrogate.com

Welcome And Sponsor Message

SPEAKER_01

Welcome. We are a mother-daughter podcast about all things surrogacy. Together, we have brought eight beautiful babies into this world, and we would like to share through education and knowledge about surrogacy with those who want to educate themselves on the topic. This is Top Fit Surrogate. Have you ever thought about growing your family but aren't sure what your options are? Or maybe you're someone who wants to help others experience the joy of parenthood? That's where Northwest surrogacy center comes in. Northwest Surrogacy Center is a full service surrogacy agency that guides intended parents and surrogates through every step of the journey, with compassion, transparency, and personalized care. Imagine to legal support and to emotional wellness may make what can feel an overwhelming feeling to be human and supported. Whether you're considering surrogacy to grow your family or you're ready to become a surrogate yourself, Northwest Surrogacy Center is there to walk beside you every step of the way. Visit Northwest at the surrogacycenter.com at NW at surrogacycenter.com to learn more and take the first step towards something truly life-changing. Love makes families. Hi everybody, welcome back to Stopsit Surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen. Hey everybody. We are here today with a fabulous surrogate. So we're gonna let her introduce herself. Take it away.

SPEAKER_02

I am an experienced surrogate. I live in North Carolina. Um, I am a mom, a wife. I have all kinds of fun things going on. And so I'm actually on my second journey. So I'm excited to be here with you guys.

Discovering Surrogacy And A Supportive Partner

SPEAKER_01

So exciting. Oh, I have questions about that. We'll jump into that in a bit. But absolutely. Our the one of the most fun questions that we always ask is like, how do you how did you find out about surrogacy?

SPEAKER_02

So we actually had some friends of ours who were struggling with fertility, and I was like, Hey, you know, I will help research all the things for you guys. And I stumbled upon all kinds of surrogate reviews, and I was like, Oh, that's interesting. And I I had told my husband, like, I want another baby. But in reality, like, I wanted to be pregnant, like I had easy pregnancies, easy deliveries. So I was like, I really just I wanted to be pregnant. And I was like, What do you think about this? And he was like, That's your body, that's your choice. I will support it 100%. But if you choose to do it, I'm here for it. And so, right, we love a supportive king.

SPEAKER_00

I love who say that it's your body, your decision. I yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh whoa, yay!

SPEAKER_00

Applaud. Yes, back in my day, nope.

SPEAKER_02

Nope. No, different and I know I will say that answer from him kind of shocked me. Not because I thought he was gonna be negative about it. I just figured there would be more questions before he was like, Hey, okay, yeah, I'm here for it. But yeah, so I started doing real more research and then I stumbled upon my agency and I told him all the things, and here we are.

SPEAKER_03

Wow my gosh, how excited?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. So stumbling upon the agency, did you did you find them like via social media or like a Google search?

Matching Preferences And Saying No To NDAs

SPEAKER_02

So I found them on a Google search and then I deep dove into their socials. Um, I actually joined their Facebook group um just to kind of stalk them out to see what the hype was. And then after kind of being quiet in the Facebook group for a little bit, um, I took one of their quizzes because you know you've got to take the quiz to see if you qualify. Um, and I did, I got the big bright, you would be a great surrogate. And I got an email and I sat there and it sat there and it sat there for a hot minute. And I was like, you know what? If this is for me, I'll have a sign. Like if this is what I'm supposed to do, I'll have a sign. And like two weeks later, I got another email, like, we're waiting to hear from you.

SPEAKER_00

And I was like, Okay, all right, here we go. Nice. Oh my gosh. And you said your second journey, are you on the same agency, both journeys? Yep, I stuck with the same agency. Nice. A lot of times that's a little easier. If you're comfortable with them, it's just easier. They have everything, they know who you are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Well, and two, when I found them, they weren't even like an agency yet. They were kind of like a hub. Yeah. So they found surrogates and they kind of found other agencies. Right. And when I um decided that it was something that I wanted to do, actually, they were just now offering agency. So I took one of their first offers that they offered as the actual agency. So that was super excited to see them grow from like kind of like a hub for other agencies to like an agency themselves. So it's it's been exciting to watch them.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It has.

SPEAKER_01

It has.

SPEAKER_00

Super fun.

SPEAKER_01

So when you when you were like in the in the beginning of the journey and everything, did you already have like a list? Did you do research on things that you were like, yes, this is this is what I want in my journey, or were you like just like, you know what, I'm a first-time surrogate. I will do whatever comes at me or whatever speaks to me, and like we'll go from there and just like tackle it as it goes. Like a wish list of what you were looking at.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, yeah. So I knew I kind of had some like hard stops. I knew I did not want it to feel like a business transaction. Um, I knew so surrogacy is is the agency that I'm with. And when I first had my matching, one came across that was interested in my profile, but it was like an NDA. And to me, that was kind of like a I don't want anything to do with that. I really need to at least know these people, know about them, know where this baby is going. Um, because yes, at the end of the day, this is not my baby. I'm but I am growing this baby for you, and I just need to at least know that you are a decent person and this baby's gonna have a good life and gonna be taken care of. Um, so I did want some kind of relationship, at least during the journey. Um, if the family didn't want one afterwards, that's you know, kind of I would honor that. Um, but yeah, definitely no NDAs, and I just didn't want it to feel like a business transaction. I I wanted it to feel like good on my end. I wanted to feel like I was doing something good, but not something like backdoor.

unknown

Yeah.

First Match, Timeline, And Travel

SPEAKER_01

If that makes sense. It m it makes total sense. Yeah. One of my journeys was an NDA, and it was my least favorite out of all of them. But you know, it's it's not just because it was an NDA, it was just because of like the people itself, but that is an often thing that I see, especially nowadays, where it's like all these celebrities are set coming out and being like, Oh, I was a surrogate, and everybody's like, Oh my gosh, I would love to be a surrogate for our Kardashian. And it's like I really highly doubt they have a relationship afterwards because unfortunately those do tend to seem a little bit more business-y the way that Chloe Kardashian put it.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, well, and when the match coordinator was explaining it to me, she was like, You won't see these people delivery day, nothing. And I was like, Oh, you're kidding, complete and like nothing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, so did you not even know, like so I didn't know who they really were? Well, and that's the thing. Like, before it even made it to me, she was like, I had already said that this was not gonna be a good match for you because she just knew where I stood. But she was like, Lindsay, you wouldn't have known anything about these people. Okay, and I was like, Nope, couldn't be me. Yeah, couldn't be. No, that's yeah, that's high profile person. Yeah, high profile. All she could tell me was it was political or someone of high standing. And I was like, Yeah, no, that's definitely not can't be sorry. Yeah, yeah. And like I love that there are women who can do that, and there's nothing wrong with that. If that is if that works for you, that's fabulous because there has to be surrogates for those type of situations. Correct. But I just knew for me, like that was just gonna be where I I just couldn't. I needed to know at least know this baby was going somewhere safe and was gonna be taken care of. For sure. No sure. Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_00

I so that was the first match they offered you?

SPEAKER_02

That that one that was the that was the first match that came across. I didn't really get the offer, it was more like we had this offer, but we just knew there wasn't gonna be a good fit. Okay. Um, but then the second offer that I got for that journey, we matched, and that was my family, and they were fabulous. I love it.

SPEAKER_01

How sweet. Yeah. So did that process was like were like the beginning stages like kind of time kind of quick? So, like, when did you find the agency to like time of matching? Do you know? Or like roughly?

SPEAKER_02

I signed my contract, I got dates for you.

SPEAKER_01

I love when you're gonna become prepared.

Transfers, Meds, And A Failed Start

SPEAKER_02

Like, I got receipts. You signed on with the with the surrogacy as August 24th, and then I actually had my match call um November 11th. So it wasn't super fast, but it wasn't super slow either. No, that's pretty sweet though. That's good. First time surrogate, yes. That's nice. At first, I was like, oh my gracious, this is taking forever. But looking in the Facebook group, like there were women who had been like a year or two in and they still hadn't been matched. So I was like, okay, well, maybe this is kind of on a fast track of things. So and then that to me was a second, like, okay, this is what you're supposed to be doing. It's happening fast, there's no hard stops. Like, this is definitely where you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, right. Exactly. Did this family have any other children, or was this their first go at having a child?

SPEAKER_02

This was the first child for them, um, first grandchild on both families' side. It was bumps a big deal. It wasn't a big deal.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. That's really sweet. And one more, were they local or international? They were in New York, so kind of local, but that's cool.

SPEAKER_02

I got to see it when I went for my medical clearance the first time. Um, I was in Times Square right before New Year's Eve. I got to see all the lights and all the yeah, it was amazing. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

You're living my dream. That's cool.

SPEAKER_00

That's cool. Oh cool.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. I'm gonna like pull you aside and talk to you about that later because I gotta know all the absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Listen, my second journey, like I told you, I just got back from California last week. So wow, that's right.

SPEAKER_00

Look at you both coasts, love it. Both coasts. That's last week. Oh, did you get the beautiful weather? Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02

It was actually cooler there than it was here at home.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, it was the week before, I think we had 80s. Okay. Um we just had like hurricane weather last night, so ridiculous for us, but it was crazy. Yeah, crazy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it wasn't it. Our cold, snowy that we got here, but it was not.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

California's a mind of its own.

SPEAKER_00

So this is this isn't a repeat journey, right? This is somebody new, a new family. This is a new family. This is an international family.

SPEAKER_01

Ah, oh, but their clinic is in California.

SPEAKER_02

Their clinic is in California. They are from Dublin, Ireland.

unknown

I love it!

SPEAKER_02

Dublin?

SPEAKER_01

That's so cool. Okay, so the purple Dublin. There's not like a real hard translation, right? Just a really thick accent.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, just a really thick accent that is beautiful and I love it. Um, our only kind of really, if you call it, uh, you know, our difficulty is we use the WhatsApp app to text back and forth. And literally, let's see, right now, it is I have to keep a clock on my phone. It's literally it is 1248. In the morning? In the morning for them. Yes. So we have the we'll all wake up to random text at random times because time difference is so different. But we make it work and they're fabulous.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I love that for you. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, so back, oh, so back to your your first journey. So um, when is when is transfer?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. If you transfer was okay, so we matched the 11th of November. Our first transfer was that following June. So June of 2024.

SPEAKER_03

That's a long.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was super long. And I think it was a lot to do with like holidays. They traveled a lot, like they did a lot of international travel, so we had to work around dates for them and stuff. Um, and then legal, legal really kind of hit us. Legal was kind of like our we have really picked up speed and then we drag our feet. Yeah. Um, so that was kind of our hard stop. But yeah, we transferred in June of 2024, and then that transfer failed. So we had to do another cycle of meds, and then we did our second transfer in July of 2025, and that one stuck. Wait, July of 2020. July of 2024. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Like, dear God. Okay, that's fast. June the first one and July the second one. Look at that. And that one stuck.

SPEAKER_02

That was that one stuck, and he was born April of last year.

IVF Realities And Letting Go Of Guilt

SPEAKER_00

Okay. He's not even a year old. Not even a year old yet. That's so cool. That's so cool.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh. So, okay, real quick, because we always kind of skip moments. Do you remember meds? Like, were you a lot of injections, or did you kind of just get like the bucket load of different things?

SPEAKER_02

I had a lot of injections. Um, I had the luperon, of course, in your belly, and then I had the um progesterone. And those were the worst. I feel like I was so lucky that my mother-in-law did my injections because that was sweet. And the one time I had to do them on my own because I went to New York, and my sister-in-law, who is a pharmacy tech, she is does not do needles.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

So here I am standing in New York, and I'm like, okay, okay. And that injection was the worst injection of my whole journey. But it was okay. We made it through. But yeah, it was it was a lot of injections, and yeah, it was a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it is a lot. It is a lot.

SPEAKER_02

People don't realize it's kind of like a second time job. Like it's a second job in itself, keeping up with dates and medicines and traveling.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. I mean, it is, and that's why rightfully so, we should be compensated for that and much more. Right. Yes. Yeah. It because it is a it is a full-time, yeah. It's a full-time job. It's like, I think what one time we did the math mom and it was like working at McDonald's.

SPEAKER_00

Like it was like for the first time surrogate. Like, before the raise went up, yeah. Before you at McDonald's, yeah. Full-time. Oh, thank you. Right. No thank. I mean it works for some, but no, I'd rather yeah, just carry the baby. Right. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you had extra, you had extra medication because you had to do two transfers. So that's that's a lot.

SPEAKER_02

And a lot of people don't realize because I didn't know before I was a surrogate that that's common. Like a failed first transfer is very common. Um, because I know I was very, and I still have um very open on my social medias about my journeys. I vlog a lot of my stuff, and so when I was open about our tr our failed transfer, it was like, Well, what did you do wrong? Oh people came back and said that? Mm-hmm. Wow, what could you have done differently? And I was like, it's very and I honestly had the same question the first time because I had to fly home the same day of my transfer because of my kiddos. And I was like, if I would have just stayed one more day and rested, no, it wouldn't have mattered. I only thought that way for a few hours after we got the news, but then I was like, you know what? The human body is its own mind, and those transfers are very common, and it's nothing that I did wrong, the doctor they did nothing.

SPEAKER_00

Michael Bigway was meant to be here for those parents. That little boy, yes, that one, right? Yes, he was.

Pregnancy Symptoms And Family Reactions

SPEAKER_01

And it's not just like the human body, it's like it's still science. Like it's still I hate to say that IVF is still a gamble, but it it still is. Like it's not it's not a hundred percent guarantee. If it was, everybody would be doing IVF like tomorrow and be like, oh great, like I want a baby, and that's just gonna be my first choice. Like it's just there's just so much because I had my first failed transfer, and I and that was my fourth journey. And I had every transfer I did before that took on the first time, and I still ask myself, like, should I have not done the laundry? Like, should I have not done it? Like, you know, and like, but I I stayed in the hotel, I was on bed rest, like, but there was just things that like run through your mind, even if you're educated to like the max, it's like, but I could have done something different, right? Like, and it would have but it's like, no, it's no, it it's science. Oh yeah, one sucks.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And I think that thought will always be with a surrogate, like you said, regardless, like you know that it wasn't anything that you've done, but it's still like, could I drank another bottle of water? Could I ate more pineapple? Like all of the things that they tell you to do, like the little tricks, and but at the end of the day, like you said, it is science, and I think that's a lot of things that people don't realize going into IVF is IVF is not like okay, you're gonna do IVF and you're going to have this baby. Like, there's a lot more behind it, and I think a lot of people don't take the time to educate themselves on IVF, they just think it's like a get pregnant quick thing, yeah. And then you end up with a lot of heartbroken people who are really guaranteeing and putting all their eggs in one basket for this is gonna work. Yep, and then it doesn't.

SPEAKER_00

The expectations are too high. They're yeah, they just have to go in with just clear heads and and see what happens and and just let science do its job, really. Sometimes gonna work, sometimes gonna not. And these days it works more often than it doesn't. So there's a positive there versus like a decade or two decades ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yes, exactly. Okay, so how does your pregnancy go? Yeah, I was gonna ask.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I was so sick. Can we back up a little? Were you sick with any of your three pregnancies of your children?

SPEAKER_02

So I only have two that I carried. I have a bonus son, it's not older. Okay, you're fine. Um, but my two girls, I was never sick. I never had any kind of morning sickness, nothing. So when I got pregnant with um surrogate baby, I was like, you know what, this is this is different. Yeah, yeah, this is different. And everybody was like, Well, you're older. You had your you know, your girls when you were younger. And I'm like, you know, that probably did play a factor in it. But let's think about all the medications that I am putting into my body and all the extra hormones that are running through my body, and all the extra things that my body's like, lady, what are we doing? We have no clue what's going on. We're trying to catch up over here. But yeah, I was very that one kind of threw me for a loop because it was well into my second trimester that I was still very sick.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. But it was worth it. And like to me, I kept I my thought process was if I'm sick, I know everything's okay. If I'm sick, I know everything's good. If I'm sick, I know we're okay. So I kind of took the good with the bad.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. The bright side of it, right?

Kids’ Understanding: Bakers And Ovens

SPEAKER_00

Yes, exactly. Yeah. How how are your kids with all of this? Like, how old were they? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So my oldest one was eight, about to be nine when we started, and our little one was three, about to be four when we started. Okay, okay. Um, and it was very much we were very open, we were honest. The best I knew to be honestly, because how do you explain that to a three-year-old? Yeah. Um, my oldest daughter, my bonus son, he was just like, okay, that's kind of right. But okay, like whatever you like, whatever you want to do. Yeah. My oldest daughter, she was my biggest chillier. She was phenomenal with how she explained it. Because my youngest one was asking questions, and I'm like, I don't know how to answer that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And so sitting there one day, my oldest daughter was like, mommy, they're the bakers, and you're the oven. Like, that's just that that makes more sense. And I was like, I'm like, you know what? That makes perfect sense. Yes, that's cute. And our little one was great with it. She loved it um until the end of my pregnancy, and my belly was so big that she could no longer snubble. And she was like, He can come out and go to New York anytime. I'm ready for him to go to his parents, and I'm done. Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01

I get that. That's too sweet. That's cute.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's so sweet. But she loves it because we still get pictures of him, and she's always like, you know, I know who that is. And she calls him by name and she's like, Ask about him and his parents, and just she wants to know all the things, but is happy that he is in Newark and he is not coming back here.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, how funny.

SPEAKER_00

And the rest of your family, did they support? Well, your mother in law gave you your shot, so obviously that side's supporting, but yes. Everybody else?

SPEAKER_02

Um, they were all supportive. I think it took a little explaining and educating. Um, my mom, she was just more worried about me because she didn't understand that it was not me, my egg. They had an egg. They had embryos. So they had, you know, I was just literally carrying this baby. Um, my grandma, she still kind of has a hard time with it, but she's also that generation of you didn't talk about things like that, you didn't talk about your personal business. So she really struggles with the fact that I put it out on social media for people because she's like, you know, pe people are not nice, and people people don't they think that you're giving your baby away. And I'm like, and I'm sure there are a lot of people who think that, but that's why I want to educate people and let them know that that is not what surrogates are doing. They're not just we're not baby factories over here producing our own children and just giving them to random people. Um, but my dad, he was really excited because um it was something new and watching, I think watching his daughter do something so selfless for someone who we didn't even know. Ugh. That was he was I mean, he came up to the hospital, he saw like they and like when we would go to New York, like I took my mom, so they met the family, so all of my family had knew the intended parents. Um, and but it was really special for my dad. Like it was really watching him I've never like that take on it.

SPEAKER_00

That's really beautiful. It really is sweet, super sweet.

Induction, The Race To Arrive, And Birth

SPEAKER_02

It was it was really, and I was I was super worried at first. I didn't know if I was gonna be open on social media. Um, but I told my husband, I was like, I have to do something because I can't just show up with a stomach one day and people like, oh, you guys are having another baby, and then be like, Oh, well, no, not really.

SPEAKER_00

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So, but watching my and watching my girls, like even my girls, like um, I did a a video on a TikTok video of my older youngest one now, she's five. And I was like, you know, how did it make you feel when you that mommy was a surrogate? And she was just like proud. And to hear your five-year-old say that, that was just like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00

So sweet. Oh my gosh. Kids, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Kids, especially like kids of like a surrogate, they understand more than adults. And it's just like, can we all take the adults back to Internet and explain why this is all okay and accepting and like does not affect anyone mentally or physically? Like kids are kids are great. Like I love that.

SPEAKER_00

They don't have those preconceived notions. They're they're thought and and they their families are open. And it's like you, I'm sure grandma, I love your grandma, but I can understand where she's coming from. Because any of my elder relatives, unfortunately, who aren't here, would have thought the same thing, could not understand it, could not grasp it because you don't talk about that. Yeah. Yeah. They're open.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah. And they and they're so resilient with things. If you're open and explain them in a way that they understand, yeah, they're more like, oh, okay, so you're helping a family that can't have kids, and you love me, and you're a great mommy to me, and this baby's gonna go to this family, and they're gonna have great parents that love them like you love me. Like, okay, that's great. And it normalizes the whole thing. Yes, it should be. And I think I think that's where I was super, I wanted to be so very open with my kids from the beginning and not get further into the journey and be like, oh, okay, well, mommy's pregnant now, and but this baby isn't mine. Um, and our the intended parents were phenomenal uh for Christmas. They sent the girls books about the kangaroo pouch and stuff like that. So we kept them so just involved in everything that we could. I think it was just at that point it was normal to them. They just knew, like, okay, mommy's gonna have this baby, and then it's it's gonna go to their parents. Right.

SPEAKER_00

No, not yet. Every day normal. Exactly. So do you do you deliver in New York or North Carolina? Uh in North Carolina. Okay, so they come, they come to you.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I did all of my like medical clearance and of course like the transfer in New York, and then everything else was here. So uh we actually were induced a week earlier with him because um I had a little bit of hypertension at that point. They were just like, we're super close, we're gonna go ahead. And then so my husband's frantically calling, like, you guys need to get on a plane now. And they're like, Okay, well, we're gonna fly out at eight in the morning, and we were like, Oh, now oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00

So they weren't even here, like I know it's not that long to get here, but they it was a week away and they still weren't here yet.

Delivery Room Moments And Handing Over Care

SPEAKER_02

Okay, yeah, so they they were planning to be here the following week because that was when we were being induced. Okay, and I went into the doctor and they're like, You got a little bit of a high blood pressure, not anything to be super worried about, but just watch it over the weekend. And I think that stress sent my body into a like oh goodness to kind of we're ready now, right? Yeah, and so I had one high blood pressure, and I get to the hospital and they're monitoring my blood pressure, and they're like, Oh, we're gonna have to send you home. You don't have any high blood pressure. This is after the midwife has already told me that they're gonna keep me, they're inducing me. My husband's called these parents, and they're getting on this flight, and they're like, Okay, we're gonna send you home. And that shot my blood pressure up. And she was like, Okay, well, never mind. We're gonna go ahead and keep you. Oh my gosh, how fun. He was ready. Yeah, oh, he was so ready. So then they did it. Yeah, they made it. Yes, they made it. Um, both sets of grandparents made it. Um, I'm being able to everyone, everyone was in my delivery room and I had no clue, which was fine. The grandparents stood behind the curtain, you know, the curtain between the room and the door. Oh, but yeah, my midwife was like, How's my crowd behind the curtain? And I'm like, who? You had no idea, Lindsay. But I had already told the parents, like, whoever wanted to be in the room, they're more than welcome to be in the room. But when the doctor was like, All right, everybody kind of get out, it's time. I just assumed that they were gone. But they weren't, they were just standing between the curtain and the door. Love it. Oh, how funny. That's super funny. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What week were you when you delivered?

SPEAKER_02

I was 39 or yeah, 39. 39 even because they were gonna induce me at 38. No, pause. I was 38 and 4 when they induced me. Okay. So they were gonna originally induce me at 39, but we didn't make it to 39. God.

SPEAKER_01

I am shocked that your IPs were not there. Uh, granted, I had like I had um international parents, so they were here at like 36 weeks. But like that's that's yeah, kind of close gambling it.

SPEAKER_02

Um I was I was super, super panicked because I'm like, I know how fast my deliveries are. So I'm like, if my water breaks and you guys aren't here, like you're missing it.

SPEAKER_01

It like for sure.

Hospital Logistics, Paperwork, And Pumping

SPEAKER_02

There's no way like we're not crossing legs, like there's no stopping it when it starts. Like right. So I was already super stressed about that. Yeah. And then I was texting my journey coordinator, I'm like, they're being really quiet. I don't like I'm starting to panic. I don't know what's going on. And so when I called her, I was like, hey, I'm on the way to the hospital now. Like, they're probably going to keep me. Um, she was like, Okay, well, I'll go ahead and tell you now. They hadn't been really texting much because someone's sick and they didn't want to stress you, and I was like, Oh, oh, like that's okay, but um, they're probably gonna have to get here sooner rather than later. Yeah. But I was I was super stressed. But going into my second journey, like hearing that they're gonna be here weeks prior, is so different. But being international, like I completely get that. But yeah, even though New York is close, like that's you're you're dancing with fire when you kind of get there and you're like, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Because you still have to wait for an airline, a plane. I mean, if you don't have your own jet, you can come in, so you gotta wait. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_01

But first, I want to take a quick moment to talk about something close to my heart, helping families grow through surrogacy. If you've ever thought about becoming a surrogate or if you're an intended parent ready to start your journey, Paying It Forward Surrogacy is here to guide you every step of the way. At Paying It Forward Surrogacy, you're not just a number. You're supported, celebrated, and connected with real people who've walked this path before. Whether you're just starting to explore or ready to take the next step, they'll make sure you feel informed, empowered, and cared for from day one. Visit Paying It Forward Surrogacy.com to learn more. That's Payingit Forward Surrogacy.com. Because every journey to the parenthood deserves heart, honesty, and the right support. Now let's get back to the episode.

SPEAKER_00

So they all make it, and are they all well, let's ask two questions. How long did the labor and were they all in the room when you deliver?

SPEAKER_02

So they induced me, they started my potosin Sunday night at like 9.30. The parents got there at 10:30, so they were only an hour after my potosin started. Um, I'm not sure when grandparents arrived, but he came um 6 45 Monday night. So a pretty long, yeah, pretty long, for me, pretty long labor. Um, but yeah, every everyone was there. In the room. Grandpa, grandpa, grandma, everyone was there.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's cool. That's they all like cheer when baby like cried, were they all like, like, or was it like no?

Postpartum, Mental Health, And Support

SPEAKER_02

There was, there was, you could they were trying to be quiet, but you could hear like oh like the old and the tears, and um it was funny because at first they were both like, I don't know if we want to cut the cord, and we definitely don't want to watch because I did carry for a same-sex couple, and so they were very much like, I don't think we want to watch. And I'm like, This is your birthing space. Like, I'm birthing, but this is your birthing space, like whatever you guys are comfortable with. Um, so they kind of stood back, and my husband was coaching, like, I can see his head, like he's almost here, and the more he coached, the closer they would get. Um, so finally they ended up right beside my husband, and they watched him be delivered. One of them cut the cord, so they were very much involved. Which again, I was I told them I was like, You guys have to be there. Like, you don't get that first cry, you don't get that moment back. And as a mom, like if I were not able to be awake for any of my births, I feel like that would be like something that I would have really just been upset that I had to miss. So I was so happy that they stayed and they were involved, and my husband was a little cheerleader down there, just rooting them on and getting them to be involved.

SPEAKER_00

Sweet. So so does everybody stay in the room when it's like skin-to-skin time? Like, do you or do you get a kind of chill?

SPEAKER_02

So I got a chill as soon as he was born. They kind of put him in his little incubator and rolled him next door because they literally had a room right beside ours. Oh, okay. Um, yeah. So they got to go and have their own skin to skin. Um, they took turns coming in and checking in on me, making sure we didn't need anything. Um they were asking, can we order you guys any food? And I was like, Are we just gonna nap? Yeah, that's a long labor.

SPEAKER_01

You need some sleep.

SPEAKER_02

But they were they were awesome. Um, they came and got my dad and let my dad go see him and the baby and all of that, and then I got my own room and we all slept that night. Um, I did pump while we were in the hospital, so I pumped for him while we were in the hospital, so I was up doing that every few hours and then making sure he got his milk. And then um the day that I was discharged, because I went home a day before he did.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um my husband brought our girls up there and they got to meet him, and we got to see him for the first time, and they gave my girls gifts from the baby. It was it was precious.

SPEAKER_00

Sweet. Did did you and your family get any alone time with the baby, or did you just was it with the intended parents? It was all together. Just with the intended parents. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

That was definitely and it we left it up to them, like if they didn't want us to see him before we, but it was one of those things where like, absolutely, we want you to meet him and see him and all the things. But yeah, they just it was with them.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, that's sweet. And your daughters were how did they feel when they met Baby Boy?

SPEAKER_02

They were super excited. I think they were more excited to see him than they were me.

SPEAKER_00

Aww, that's cute.

SPEAKER_02

They just doted on him, and um they were just I think my four-year-old finally realized, like, oh, this was a human that was in my mommy's belly, and now he is he is here because we left, and she was like, He he's still at the hospital. And I was like, Yeah, I remember. And she was like, Oh, that's right, he's going back to New York.

SPEAKER_01

And then it was like, Can I sleep with you tonight? Oh, sweet excited to have mom back now that she doesn't have that belly.

SPEAKER_00

100%. So cute. Oh my god. Did they have to stay in North Carolina for a little while? Could they just go when they got discharged, could they leave?

SPEAKER_02

So if I'm not mistaken, they stayed, so they were they stayed a day after I did in the hospital, and then they had to wait for um his birth certificate and stuff. So they were here for a few days. Okay. Um, and then they chartered a plane out back home. Nice. Yeah.

Deciding To Do It Again Quickly

SPEAKER_01

This isn't that bad to get a birth certificate.

SPEAKER_02

That's not it really wasn't. So yeah, they they stayed here and uh I actually had to go back to the hospital because they forgot to get my signature on uh removing me off of the birth certificate.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, oh my gosh, no. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, we live an hour from the hospital, and they're like, um, that's awesome. I was like, okay, um, why? Yeah. We we didn't get your signature to um say that this baby is not your baby.

SPEAKER_00

You would think that'd be the first thing they do, but all right, everybody's excited. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and it was so you could tell, like, our our nursing team, they were all fabulous, they were amazing, but you could tell it was a situation that they didn't know, like who do we ask for things? And I'm like, anything um me related, me. Yeah, um, anything baby related, them. Yeah. And then that that's just how it goes. And I did have to remind one nurse, and you could tell, like, she realized really fast because she was like, All right, mom, and I was like, Yeah, yeah, they're just so used to it. Afterwards, she came there, she was like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, No, you're fine. I was like, I was more protecting them, then it it didn't bother me at all. I kind of had prepared myself for something of that, but I was like, I was more so protecting them. I didn't want them to feel like this was not about them. Yeah. Um but you could everyone was very much they didn't know what to do or how to handle the situation. So it was it was funny, but it was one of the things I was like, oh, you guys could have, you know, check the paperwork before you release me.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Uh yeah, right. Exactly. Did you continue to pump, Lindsay, or did you and send it or no? Just an option?

SPEAKER_02

I am a overproducer, majorly overproducer, but they didn't want the milk shipped to them. So I pumped for I want to say two or three months. Um, and a friend of ours had a baby, and she couldn't produce milk, so I just donated milk to her. Um, we had I posted about it on a mom's group, and there was a lady who had um a baby who had some medical things going on, and so we donated to them. And then it was just at that point, it just kind of felt like work, and I was like, I think I'm done.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, very sweet. Oh my gosh, it's very sweet, very, very kind of you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_00

That's a lot. It's like having a newborn. You're pumping, I mean, it it you're pumping, you're washing parts, you're uh it's a lot waking up in the morning.

Matching With International Parents

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and my husband, yeah. My husband was like, Is it really worth it? Like I'm like, I'm like, it is helping others, but at that point, I think I was just stressing myself out to the point I was like, This is not fun no more. I don't want to do this anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Right, you don't have to, right? Exactly, right? So like what I continue, yeah. No, I I get that.

SPEAKER_00

And then post post birth for you, like first time surrounding it, like you good was there a lot, not lost, so you know, it was your prior life.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so my husband was a little bit worried because with our little one, I did have postpartum anxiety because she was born during COVID, everything was just so out of the normal. Um, so he was like, that was his only like I'm really just worried about you afterwards. And I wasn't sure honestly how I was going to take it because you don't you don't know until you're there, and you can say that you're gonna act one way and you don't really know. But to me, my I was very fortunate that my job gave me my maternity leave, so I still had my maternity leave. Um, and I just put all that time back into my kids in our marriage. Um, I was taking my girls to the water park during the week during summer, and um, it was right there around my maternity leave felt around my birthday. So me and my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my mom took a girls' weekend to the beach and just went and had fun. So I think being able to really just focus on me and my kids and my husband and do things around our house because we were actually moving into my husband's grandparents' homestead that we had remodeled. So I was able just to focus all my time on that, and I wasn't having to wake up with a baby every so hours. I was able to get sleep. Um, so it was a lot better than I had really anticipated and prepared myself for.

SPEAKER_01

Good, good. Yeah, the postpartum after a surrogate baby is I don't want to say blissful, but compared to like having your own. Yeah. Blissful. Like yeah, because it's just can be because you have you you do have like that's still like that hormone drop, but it's not like with sleep deprivation and like all the things that come with a newborn. So it's exactly it's more so like let me get my mental health back on. A whole nother human onto go back like what normal again.

Mock Cycle, Legal Protections, And Coverage

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and that was a nice thing because now granted I still had to take care of my kids, but it was more like a okay, how am I doing? Like, where am I at? What's going on with me? And surrogacy is this phenomenal where they offer, you know, therapists. So we still had therapists so far out of your postpartum that they checked in monthly. And if you felt like you were struggling, like you still could cut, you know, reach out to them, like, hey, I need the meeting. Um, and then just sunshine in them at surrogacy is anyway, they're phenomenal. Um, you don't see many owners of an agency that will chat with you or just reach out and and talk to you. So you have a huge support group there. But yeah, like you said, just being able to stay in tune with my emotions and not be like, okay, am I feeling this way because I don't have sleep or am I feeling this way because something is wrong and I need to talk to someone? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Right, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So how quickly after you delivered baby surrogate baby one, did you say, I'm doing this again? Um I do.

SPEAKER_02

I remember it vividly. Um, I had just got released from the hospital and we were this all the time. Yep. Yep. We were pulling into the driveway, and my journey coordinator called, just checking in on me, and I was like, So, um, am I going to be able to do another journey since I had this quote unquote hypertension? Like, um, I need you to find out, like, does this stop me? And she was like, I've actually already asked because I knew that you were you were going to be one of those. Oh my god. That's I looked at my husband, I was like, I'm doing I'm doing this again. Okay. Because it's just a feeling that you can't explain. Like watching someone become a see their baby for the first time, knowing that without you in that equation, that this would have possibly never happened for them. Right. It's it's kind of like an outer body experience, and you really can't put words to it. Um, and I just it was such a mind was like, it was, but my mind was like, if this was ever me, I would want someone to be so selfless that they loved me that they had never met before enough to be like, you know what? I want to do this for you. Yep. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was the day that I was really called hospital. Like, I'm ready to do this again. I love that.

SPEAKER_01

Was your family ready for you to do it again?

SPEAKER_02

Um, my girls were like, but really are you, mom? Especially my oldest one. She was like, But are you? And my husband was like, you know what?

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god.

Contracts, Life Insurance, And Safety

SPEAKER_02

Okay. My mom was more like, Maybe we should make sure you don't have postpartum or like you're okay. And I'm like, Oh no, I'm good. Like, I know that this is what I need to do. you go I love that it is a great it's like a euphoria feeling like it does so yeah and so you're are you 10 10 months postpartum you said April right no okay so that was kind of fast like you're matched already wow oh I'm matched I so I did my intake to come back uh June 11th and we matched wait you gave birth in April you did your intake to come back in June yeah it's like it's like when your maternity leave ends wow that was that was when they told me my daughter would give me my clearance letter oh my gosh I adore you that's impressive you go girl okay I was like listen I was counting down days I knew when my window started and I was like I need I need to be in this window because you never know like yeah in my mindset was like it my second journey might not be as fast as my first journey you just never know I want to yeah I wanted to go ahead and have everything I definitely was not expected to have a match call October 30th but we had our match call October 30th um and I was used to the whole six yeah six months we're counting we're both counting on our fingers six months how many yep yeah like are you cleared can you like do a can you do a transfer right away like yeah and that was it was funny because I had my IUD and they were like well you need to go ahead and have that taken out just in case like in case the clinic doesn't want so many you know cycles without an IUD so I go back to my OB and she was like you're not even six months and I was like yikes she was like I will not approve this until you're at least a year postpartum and I was like and I get that I get that but can we take it out and you say that I am able to carry again just knowing that we're going to push for that year mark I said because I don't know how long all of this is going to take in the background even with matching then you got to do the medical clearance and then you got to do regal so I I was trying to explain it to her and she was like I just want you to remember you're only six months and I was like I know I was there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah I got you yeah yeah yeah just trying to be proactive and get all the dust in a row because you it does it can take a while it can yeah and that's a my thought process was I can't be as lucky as I was my first time for everything just to be as smooth.

SPEAKER_02

But I I was definitely new because we we did our match call October 30th and so I just assumed it would be like my first journey they give you that 24 hour window afterwards for both families to agree and we're sitting on our match call and it's wrapping up and the husband's like well we don't need 24 hours we we want to match now and I was like sweet. I'm looking at my husband and I'm like and I knew in my gut like you just have that feeling that you people are like how do you know and I'm like you just know and they're like but how and I'm like I don't know how to explain it you you just know yeah it's like when you go on that first date with like a person that you that like you're you know you're dating or whatever and then it's like I mean this is like such a weird analogy but then it's like oh no that's the pull I got it like we're gonna go on another one like this is this is there's a connection that's made there was some type of connection we had so many similarities in the things that we enjoyed and stuff and um my biggest thing is what my husband's career he's law enforcement and that's that's something hard for some people because that puts kind of like a target on our family just depending and so I was very vocal with both of our you know journeys like hey I just want to let you know like I know I don't have to disclose this but this is what my husband does for a living um because I need you to be aware so it doesn't become an issue later. So I was just like when he started talking we don't need time I was like this man's gonna tell me like they don't want to match with us and my stomach had already dropped because I had just felt such a pull to them so when he said it I looked at my husband I was like I don't need a 24 hours either what about you and he was like nope I don't either so our journey coordinator was like I've never been on a call where they actually match on the call so it was super cool. We loved it that's fun.

SPEAKER_00

That's that is fun so do you have a transfer date or are you still doing legal and stuff?

Hard Stops, Boundaries, And Best Advice

SPEAKER_02

So just doing uh legal they're wanting so this journey we're doing a mock cycle I've never done a mock cycle before so it's a little different than our first one. Um so like I said I flew out last Monday to California my um medical clearance was on Tuesday and then we flew home Tuesday night and then I had to they had to wait for my blood results my husband had to do blood work because a lot of people don't understand well why does your husband have to go to STDs and stuff make sure yes and I'm like if he has anything that I can get they give the baby um so that was really a big people were really hung up on that when I was explaining that like well that don't make sense what's he got to do with it until you explain it right but so they did that and so now we're just kind of waiting on his blood work to get back and then since we are doing a mock cycle they require like a mini legal contract so we'll do like a smaller version for a mock cycle and then once that's done um my second or my next cycle should be towards the end of this month so we're hoping that all the legal and everything is done by then so we can just fall into the mock cycle with this cycle of this month. Are you because I had a mock cycle are you compensated for your mock cycle yes okay good I'm just making sure because you were like it's a mini legal and I'm like hold up you're supposed to be compensated for that okay yep so that's why they were because the clinic was like we want to start like now in my journey corner I was like hold on like we got to do some type of legal work for to make sure she's covered they're covered like everybody is covered um and I don't think that the clinic really knew that because I don't know if that was new to them or they just automatically assumed that we were already into legal um but yeah so she was like hold on I'm so we already have the attorneys they're already working on something so we have it going in the background um but yeah that was something new because I was like hold on I was asking all the questions like do I get compensated for this like and I know that sounds people are like oh you're just working for the money. No that's not what it is but when you're putting your yeah it's when you're putting your body through all of this stuff like you want to make sure that you're covered because anything can happen and people don't realize that um and that was something when I was explaining to people that well they have a life insurance policy on me and they're like oh why I'm like well because you don't know what can happen like yeah seriously right it'd be birth like you want to be covered and if something happens to me I want to make sure my husband and kids are okay and that you know they can take care of all the things that they need to and yep that was it's so funny just seeing people's reactions to those things they're like well why do you expect something to go bad well no you don't ever expect something to go bad but you want to make sure you're covered if it does happen.

SPEAKER_00

Correct and and the intended parents are not the beneficiaries of that life insurance policy. It is you designate which is usually your partner spouse family what whomever but and that's misconceived or miss there's a misconception about that as well.

Closing Thoughts, Sponsors, And CTA

SPEAKER_02

Oh why do they take life insurance and a lot of people don't realize that they have to carry it so long after you have the baby too um so you're covered if anything were to come up because I was having a conversation with someone who asked about it and I was like well yeah like I think it's about the time where I need to call and make sure my life insurance policy and stuff is canceled she was like oh how long do you keep it for and I was like well you it just depends on what you all but like with our agency is a certain amount of time every urge agency might be different. Um but yeah she was like I would have never known or thought about having to have a life insurance policy and I'm like well I didn't either until it was explained to me and I was like you know what that that makes sense so you canceled it and then got a new life insurance policy so I have my own through word but once once you timed out of like your postpartum your six months postpartum they have to drop theirs on us so it it's no longer they're having to pay for my life insurance policy I kept paying the premiums for 50 yeah same I still pay because it's a lot higher than what I would have got on my own. So I'm like it's I'll just I'll keep it well mine through work was amazing so I was like there's no point in keeping this one. Right. I'm just gonna drop it um and that was the thing that I I had offered I was like well I have a life insurance policy like do they want to just reinverse for mine um and she was like no they want to have their own which is fine like that right that was on them so I guess it kind of exactly exactly 100% yep and that's just like with you were asking about contracts earlier. I'm sorry I'm going way back to the book oh you're good um with this journey um something that I didn't think about because again my first journey was not international um I was talking to the parents and they were like we want to add into your contract that if we are in flight and something happens medical emergency you're not alert you can't make decisions we want that to default to your husband because they knew of a couple who had a surrogate and they were in flight coming from Ireland I guess to the States and something happened and they couldn't get a hold of the parents and so they were kind of in limbo of not knowing what to do. So to make sure that I was covered if that were to happen with us they were like we want it strictly put in your contract like if they cannot get a hold of us and you cannot make your own decisions your husband is to make every decision for you. Love it. So I was like I said I didn't even think about that but I'm so grateful that you guys did and you're bringing it up because that makes me feel so much better.

SPEAKER_00

Oh god yeah 100% exactly yeah it's it's trying to dot those I's and cross those T's and and with an agency and and with all of this stuff it's you usually everything's thought of but I never would have thought of that one.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

No and it's just and it's the smallest thing especially as a first time surrogate going into your second one you're like okay I probably should have put this in my contract the first time but I didn't think about it or I really don't think I need that in my contract but we'll just keep it in there. But it's you just learn so much going through and talking to other surrogates of stuff that you're like that wasn't even in my contract. I probably should have put that in there.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And that just that's just living and learning and you'll if you decide to do a third one you'll learn something from this. Even if it goes perfectly you'll be like I think I should have added this or whatever. Like it's just I still learn and I'm not currently a surrogate and I'm just like oh look at all the things I should have done like yeah you just don't know until you know and it's exactly that's what the podcast and all the information and the communities are out there for. Yeah everything it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02

Wow so Lindray what is some advice that you would give to someone who wants to be a surrey at um I would say go in with your gut knowing what you want and don't change it just to get a match.

SPEAKER_03

Good for you.

SPEAKER_02

There's a perfect match out there for you and even if it takes a little longer that's okay but don't change your hard stops just to get that match because you're gonna end up hurt disappointed and it's just you're gonna regret it. I've seen it in our group that we have where surrogates change their mind and are like I really should have not made that match and I just did it because I got tired of waiting. And that's sad to see and that's I have a few friends who kind of done the quiz and they're like well what's one thing that you would tell me and that's I tell that to everybody like if you decide to do it if you say from the very get go I want to have a family that wants to have a relationship even after birth yeah wait till you find that family who wants to have that relationship after birth. If you want the family who you just want to have the baby and you don't want to know anything after the birth wait for that family because there's even you though you don't get emotionally or you try not to get emotionally attached you can't fully not be attached in some way and you're gonna end up hurting yourself in the long run if you kind of go against your gut feeling.

SPEAKER_01

Right. That's great advice that's great advice right to your gut you know what you want don't let people I think oftentimes what I've seen and what I've dealt with personally is people will try and talk you out of it because oh this person has like one of my couples the one that did not was not great. I was like I really want to work with a same sex couple that's my third journey and they're like well their brother is gay and I'm like okay and I was talking into it and I was just like okay but it's just it you know and I I think I hope that's got I hope that's less common nowadays for people trying to like talk you out of it. But yeah you know when I was searching for two years I was talked I was trying to be talked out of a lot of things and I was like no stick to stick to your guns it's totally fine. Like they're I promise you they're out there it just might take longer. And then you just have to be okay with that. Like this is not an overnight thing.

SPEAKER_02

It sucks that it's not but like it's not right and I think a lot of people go into it and I hate to say it but this is a this is a make some money really fast kind of thing. So it doesn't matter what I want you just give me the first person who comes to the door and then you're at the end of it you're left like really and I feel like that plays a lot into a lot of postpartum yeah if you don't set like I went in with my mindset of this baby is nothing of mine this is no DNA to me my husband I want to grow a happy healthy safe baby but at the end of the day this baby is going home with this family and I just need to make sure that this is a good family and if they still want a relationship at the end of this great if they don't great I just I need you to be honest with what you want from the get-go with me because I can't get myself oh they do want a relationship and then get to the end and they're like okay thanks for the baby or we're done now or me going with the mindset of I know that I can't have contact with you after this because it's gonna be hard for me and then at the end you're like we want we want you to know we want you to come visit we want so I feel like you have to know that from the beginning and you have to make that very clear um and just don't don't budge.

SPEAKER_00

Right completely agree and I hope people take it to heart because it's great advice.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah it is great it is lovely.

SPEAKER_02

I wish you the absolute best and all the silly thoughts for your sticky thoughts thank you guys so much it's a pleasure you guys are so fun oh you're so sweet thank you you're great this you are fun I hope you come back for your second story yes please I would love to come back anytime you guys want me oh amazing we we always we always welcome Dublin parents to come on with you have to they have to stay for a while they have to stay listen so that is funny and I'm sure they would because she is already like her mom is like ready to move over to North Carolina and be here for this whole journey and I'm like off the brakes a little bit that's hilarious. She's just like that's just how we are like that's how our our village is and they said one thing to my husband on our Zoom call that made him laugh and I I'm like I don't think they meant that like how we would say it. She was like if we're in the delivery room and we're in just tell us to piss off and we'll just kind of like and I was like I don't think that means what that means okay yeah okay we love it. But I'm sure they would love to they are so open about their journey um and they are phenomenal so yeah while they're here they'll be here for a month before my baby's passport gets here so we'll have to we'll have to come on with you guys.

SPEAKER_01

Well that invitations open yeah okay yes I will I will sneak it in there and let you guys know there you go okay well you have a beautiful journey and um we will we'll we'll follow you on your journey I I hope it goes the way you dream of absolutely thank you guys so much yeah thanks for coming thanks for joining us yeah absolutely anytime thanks guys have a great day have a great night bye bye oh my gosh how fun yeah it's great journey wow yeah amazing I love that I do I think it's great I think it's great I do I just love the happy stories I mean I'm just thinking guys I just think you guys you know it's it's great when you have when you're it's maybe I'm just so no I don't want to say cynical but like just been through a lot and like a lot and like it's so great when a first time surrogate has such a beautiful journey and then they're like don't it again because so wonderful yeah first time because you don't know what you don't know like if you just and then boom it all just kind of kind of plays together.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah so great advice from her too thank you Lindsay that was really awesome stick to your gut and stick to what you want and you'll get it again.

SPEAKER_01

I couldn't agree more great advice wish somebody had told me that on my third journey but not um if anybody has any questions or stories that they would like to share please feel free to reach out to us on Instagram at stop periods at period surrogate or at our email at stopperiodsitperiod surrogate at gmail.com has been another edition of stopsit surrogate with Kennedy and Ellen thanks everybody by before we wrap up we want to give a huge thank you to our sponsors at Northwest surrogacy center New York surrogacy center paying it forward surrogacy their continued support helps us share real stories that educate our community and connect families through the incredible journey of surrogacy thanks so much for tuning in to Stop at surrogate where every story matters and every journey is worth sharing.

SPEAKER_00

We'll see you next time if you enjoyed this podcast be sure to give us a like and subscribe also check out the link to our YouTube channel in the description and be sure to also check out our children's book My Mom has a superpower sold on Amazon at Etsy