Is it possible to live out a dream career while still mothering young children? And being a stay-at-home mom. We think so it's kind of the premise of the show, but it is not easy. And today we have a guest who found her dream career in standup comedy. When her first done was still in diapers. Three kids later and she has been featured on Nick mom.
Disney Babel up late
Edinburgh fringe laughing, skull comedy festival.
Jimmy Kimmel's comedy club in Las Vegas and was recently chosen. To MC and perform in the C S CLA Gilda gala.
And we met Zoe through, listen to your mother, Boulder, the show that gives motherhood a microphone. This is the mother plus 📍 podcast. The show where we believe that motherhood shouldn't stop us from following our dreams and our passions.
Today, we talked to Zoe Rogers about how she went from actress to stay at home mom to thriving standup comic. We dig deep and to the glaringly obvious lack of women in the standup comedy industry and how Zoe made it, her mission to bring more diversity to the stage, leading her to the creation of the Boulder comedy festival.
All while staying a pretty devoted stay at home mom.
Wait until she explains how she would write the standup comic lineup in cran or roll into her house late after a show only to wake up early the next morning to get back to momming. This woman is something else. She's the kind of woman who makes you remove the excuses from your own life. When you see what is possible, if you really, really want something.
Please join me in getting to know and getting inspired by Zoe Rogers.
hi Zoe.
How are you doing? Hello, how are you? Good. Good to see you again. It's good to get the band
back together. Yeah. We got the band back together. We've missed you and this helps a little bit with our listen to your mother withdrawal
I'm so happy to see you guys again. I have to say, that was like such a cool experience and like so. Different than what I usually am doing and it was very like nurturing and yeah,
I think it'll be, I think it'll be really fun after everyone has heard like kind of what your usual work vibe is, to like contrast that with this community of.
Creative women supporting each other. So that little spoiler alert at what's, what lies ahead. Yeah. But, um, this is gonna be a good one. Okay. Well, we always start with the basics. Before we get into all the fun, fascinating, cool stuff we're gonna talk about.
Yeah. Let's just get to know you a little bit. Can you tell us about
your family, your immediate family, and where you live? Sure. , we have three kids. It's me and my husband, and we have a 17 year old and almost 14 year old, and an almost six year old. So we have elementary, middle, and high school, and we just, we just moved from Louisville to Lafayette.
, in Colorado.
Cool. You really are pulled in a whole bunch of different
directions right now. Yes. When we moved here and I went on the mom groups, I was like, can you talk to me about good schools in the area?
Like we were just moving to Boulder. We knew we would be in the Boulder area. And, uh, one of these sort of sassier moms wrote down like, well, are, what do you want? You need to give us more to go on. Like, do you want elementary? Do you want middle? Do you want high school? What do you want? I was like, all of those.
I need all of those. Yeah.
All of the above. Mm-hmm. Oh man. You're in it. Okay, well, let's talk about your career. How would you describe your career right now and what did you do for a living before you had kids?
Pre-kids. I was an actress and so I did a lot of auditioning and I did like, Little part I did like, um, commercials and some soap opera stuff.
Ooh, what would he, we
have seen you in. Yeah.
Yeah. Tell us, tell us. What? Um, all my children like,
okay, all my children like circo, which year? Like,
I need details. Oh, oh my God. I'm gonna try to remember it was, was I pregnant when I was filming that? I don't remember. It might have been like the early two thousands.
Oh my God. I bet I saw
you on all my children. I'm gonna scream, how did I not know this about you? It was sort of like when Eunice casually dropped. Oh yeah. I was a backup dancer for Eminem in the Super Bowl, and I'm like, how have you bitches been hiding all this stuff from us? Oh, that's nice to me
too.
What?
See?
Okay, so, all right. Sorry. We'll stop fangirling. Okay. But
any other folks? Yeah. No. My sister and I were, my sister and I used to watch all my children all the time. We'd watch all my children in little house on the Prairie and they came home from school. It an odd of things somehow balances. Right.
It was like, here are pioneers and here's something that's really probably age inappropriate for you guys. Um, but we would watch that. And then I remember telling her, I got on all my children and she was like, shut up. Um, and it was just little parts here and there, but it was still fun. And I gotta see people that I'd watched on tv, you know?
So that was fun. But then when we had kids, I, we moved to LA from New York. Thinking I could still work cuz I was still in that delusional head space of like, yeah, nothing will change. Mm-hmm. Um, and I was like, I can't go on auditions. I can't drive to Burbank with a tiny baby and go on auditions like last minute.
I can't pull people at a preschool. I can't miss pickup. So. I didn't work for a while. I was just kind of a stay-at-home kind of. I was the stay-at-home mom. I was the parent cuz my husband, uh, was in law school and then he was a practicing attorney. So it was me for, I wanna say six years. Um, and then I took a comedy class and it changed my whole life.
Oh my God.
I took a comedy class and it changed my whole life. Okay. So how long ago was that and how old were your kids at that moment when you took a comedy class that changed your life?
Well, I, I had run into a friend from high school from New York. When I was in LA I was pushing my son. I was like very pregnant, pushing my older son around the grocery store, and I heard this guy be like Zoe.
And it was this guy that I had gone to high school with and he was doing standup comedy and he was like, we have to have lunch. And every time we had lunch, I would tell him a story about. Like what was happening in my life. And he was like, you have to write it down, you have to do it on stage. You have to take the standup class that I'm taking.
And at the time I was like, dude, I barely made it here to lunch. Like I'm not taking a standup class. I have two young humans that are like attached to my person at all times. Yeah. And then my younger son sort of broke up with me with nursing. Um, I've never heard of called that. Like, I thought he would nurse for like my older son nursed for like three and a half years.
And so I thought that's what would happen with my younger son. But he didn't. He had, he just was over it. Yeah. Um, in like 18 months. He was like, I want cups. I want what my brother's having. I don't want to have anything to do with you. And I called my friend like bawling and I was like, it's like it's the last thing that only I can do and I feel like I'm being broken up with and I don't know what to do.
And he was funny cause he was like, well, what better time to take a standup class? Mm. So there it is. So I took a standup class and yeah, it was like the first thing I'd done for myself in such a long time. And I think I. I highly doubted whether or not I should be in the room because everybody else was like, I'm so-and-so, and I've done 10 years of improv and eight years of stage combat and ex like all these very impressive things.
And I was like, I'm Zoe, and this is the first class. I've been in without bubbles and a tumbling mat. Um, and I was sort of like, do these people really care what I have to say, right? Do I really have anything to say? Um, and then it became kind of the only place in my world where I've really felt heard. Um, so I got really into it.
Um, and I noticed an absence of women and
I started even, even then, even in the class.
Well, I mean the class was, what did the class, half class probably had like four, like four women and six men, so that's better. Okay. Than most shows. But I noticed when I went out to do, I did the show after class and then I got hired, do a couple other shows, and I just noticed a real absence of women and that like, I was like, how am I gonna get good at this if I'm not able to get.
Booked. Like every woman I knew was doing five minutes once a month and I was like, how do you grow like that? Like, don't you have to do it more than that? And so I started producing shows in like wherever anybody would give me space. Um, very undesirable spaces, just so I could get up and I could get other people up and we could, you know, so I did that.
I, it was sort of like a necessity thing. What, what did that look like practically speaking, when you still had the young kids and you went from, I can't even get to this lunch, barely to. Producing comedy
shows with young kids. It was
crazy. Yeah. That was really, my husband and I were like ships passing in the night.
Mm-hmm. And um, I had a friend who for a while would call me the crayon lineup because I never had pens, but I would always have drawing paper. And so I'd write the lineup in crayon cuz I always had crayons. And I would say like, okay, here's the lineup. Trying to be professional, putting it in front of people that I was embarrassed to ask to do my show in the first place.
I'd be like, amazing. Here's the lineup in lime green crayon. Um, that's amazing. And my friend was like, yo, Zoe is this, is this crayon right now? And I was like, it's nice. We all work with the tools we have and I have a lot of crayons. Um, yeah. So it was. And I would come home by like 11 ish and then get up with kids in the morning.
Like all the comics would be like, we're going out drinking or we're gonna do whatever comics do after a show. And I was like, yeah man, I gotta go home and make lunches. So, um, have fun. You know, it was just a very different existence. I. Yeah, and
like I just, I really respect that because obviously it sounds like your husband had
to be very supportive of the fact that you doing this not, not necessarily meant less time with the kids, it actually meant less time with them because Yeah.
Or with him. Sorry. Because it's that after the kids go to bed time slot, Yep. Exactly. Yeah. And he was really, that was our only time together. You know, when you're, you're both falling asleep and you're like, no, no, I wanna hear about your week. You know, like, you're so tired. Yeah. But I think he felt like I was coming home more fulfilled.
Mm. And happier. Um, yeah,
Marker
I would say that standup comedy cut into my crying on the bathroom floor time. Cause I feel like that I was just super overwhelmed and, um, I just felt like, I love being a mom, and it's like that changed my life long before standup. But I felt very unheard and very judged and like I couldn't be real with people and it was hard to connect with people because there was so much judgment and are you this kind of mom or are you this kind of mom?
And I was like, can't we all just kind of fall apart with each other?
I feel like that's maybe like our pseudo motto. Can't we just all fall apart together? Yes, yes, yes. I
love that. I felt like I would try to do that with moms I knew, and it was always kind of met with sort of some abrasive response. Um, whereas when I did that in comedy, I would hear people be like, yes.
Like I would be like, does anybody else have no idea what they're doing? Is anybody else googling their way through life? Just me. Um, and people would be like, yes. And I was like, okay, good. They're my people. Yes. Yeah. I felt like people were afraid to be vulnerable and real and talk about. What, what was hard for them.
And then when I would get on stage and I didn't know these people and they didn't know me, they would talk to me for like a half hour afterwards and be like, I love the thing you say about like not sleeping and not knowing what you're doing. And you know, it's probably really sneaky
what you're doing because it's like when you puree vegetables and put them into ketchup or spaghetti sauce, you're like, you're like giving people validation and meaningful connection disguised as comedy.
Yeah, it's like, it's like it's the one-two punch. Like I'm gonna make you laugh, but I'm also gonna give you something that you didn't know you were looking for when you came here tonight. Right. That's
such a good way of putting that stuff. Vegetables in the right. Exactly. Where it's like, this is good for you, but you think it's pudding.
Totally. Did you, did you avocado in it though? Yeah. You'll
never know. It's a sweet potato brownie. Eat it. Um, and did you, have you just continued to produce comedy shows or did anything shift again at some point?
Um, I think. For me, I, I was doing it out of necessity to keep getting up and, because other people, you know, part of it is the mom thing.
A friend of mine was offered a space, um, and he contacted me and was like, they offered me this space, but like, I don't really wanna do it. And he was like, and I realized I'd have to get people there and coordinate. And that's just a lot of things like. To juggle and I thought, who could do this? A mom. And so he like gave me the venue.
He was like, do you wanna do this? And I was like, yes. And it was, it was a lot of me like biting off more than I could chew before I was ready to do it, but not wanting to say no to an opportunity. So I was like, yeah, I'll drive out to WeHo at six o'clock on a Sunday to do a. Standup show in a lesbian bar.
I love that. Um, with four people. That'd be awesome. Wow. Right. And so we did that for like years and then it was the back of an Irish pub. And initially it was just to get me up and to get friends up and to see what other comics we're working on. But then it changed because. I started getting booked on like real shows, which was awesome.
But also I was always the only woman and we were in Los Angeles, so a very diverse population and like zero reason to have eight straight white guys in the same hoodie. On a show. Right. You know what I mean? Um, and yet here we are. And yet here we are still, it's like Groundhog Day, but like misogyny, um, yeah.
White misogyny.
Yes. See, I
Go ahead. No, I know. So seeing that made me be like, cuz then I'd go to all these shows and all these mites, right? And I'd see really funny people and I'd see them in other shows and be like, why isn't this dude or this woman performing all the time? Like, I don't understand. Why am I seeing the same eight straight white.
Dude faces when there are these funny people out there. Like it's not an absence of talent, what's going on? So I would start asking these people to do my show and I'd be shocked when they said yes. Um, and I just sort of put this emphasis on like, well, what if I, what if I consciously booked my shows so that I felt like everybody was represented and like the same way that I needed to be heard, um, that these people were being heard and like people in the audience.
Felt like they were represented on stage too. Right. And it was not hard. You know, like Uhhuh, there was such an abundance of people and I would do it and I would simultaneously get pushback and also be able to like affect change. So I'd have people get nasty with me, but then I'd have one or two people book the same comics the next month.
And I was like, yes. Yeah. So I was like, okay, so this is how it works. Like you do it, somebody says, oh, it can be done. I'll do that too. Um, and people, you know, I would be like, listen, putting one person on your show who's not a straight white guy, um, is not really diversity. You know, like, uh, you could have shock.
Aw. You could have three women on a show. You could have a whole show of women. You could have a whole like, and so I started doing that to be like, how much can I move the needle? Yeah. Like, how much can I effect change? How much can I demonstrate to people like, Because I would hear such garbage answers from producers where they'd be like, well, I tried to book women, but they cancel last minute.
And I'm just like, oh, bullshit. What are you talking about? Or they'd say, well, I tried to have diversity. Uh, but you know, sometimes people aren't available. And I'm like, how often are people not available? Like they're available when I ask and I'm booking a show in the back of an Irish pub that smells like urine, so I'm pretty sure they'd be available for you.
So I kept, I started producing out of that too, to be like, how do we change things like, How do I show people like, this can be done and you should be booking this person. See these names on my flyer? You should be booking them next month. And I'd hear from people like, Hey, so-and-so booked me. Like, I guess they don't know that your show's in the back of this Irish pub.
And I was like, no, they don't. They just saw your name on a flyer and assumed, you know, go for it. So that was kind of my way of affecting. How to get more women on shows, how to get more diversity on shows. And there would always be angry people who would like get snippy with me. But among the sea of angry comments would be two or three people who were like, okay, I'll bite.
Who should I be booking? Yeah. And I was like, great. I'm so glad you asked. Man, I love how confident you are about that cuz I feel like everything you say is right or is wrong and you've done all the right things. But I would be the kind of person that would just kind of fold into it and be like, well this is just the way it is and I don't wanna stand up to these people just cuz that's my personality.
So Well, and sometimes good for you. I did have moments where it was like, And this isn't even one specific person. This is like several different people where I would do a show, it would go well, and I would, the producer would say like, thank you. We'd love to have you back. And I'd be like, I'd love to come back anytime.
And then I'd see them like step over to two other guys and be like, so next week can you come and do you know a set? And I would be like, I'm available next week too. I'd love to come back. And they were like, well, we already have a woman next week. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I had a guy say to me, cuz name's this comic.
And I said, oh, I love her. She's great. I would love to work with her. And uh, he was like, well, it's not lady's night. And I just wanted to be like, this woman is, you know, If you write a book, man,
it's called, it's Not Ladies
Night. Yes. And I, I was like staring at him and I had this moment where you have to choose sometimes it feels like between saying the right thing and being able to continue to work.
Yeah. And that was wow. Like I wanted to be like, this woman is like, 22. Um, she is, you know, a lesbian. She's biracial. She lives in a different part of Los Angeles, like she's from Detroit. I, I'm, I'm like a married woman with kids who lives in San. The chances of us having any overlap in our material is probably pretty slim.
, it was just one of those things where I was like, What? Like he was like, I think that would be redundant. And I was like, um, Have you seen her? Because she and I don't really have any overlap.
Like we're very, and speaking of
redundant, have you checked out
these other dudes? Yes. I wanna be like, are you the same guy that put eight straight white dudes in the same hoodie on stage for 90 minutes, who talked about how bitches are crazy and they get high in their mom's basement? Cuz that was redundant.
Yeah, that was a little
redundant. Um, yeah, I guess every night is bro. Dude's night. Yeah. Um, I just, when we, when you, when you did your piece that listened to your mother, you gave us a little bit of a glimpse of, I mean, you're describing what you've encountered to us, but like what I loved about your piece is that you really showed us the vulnerability.
Of how that made you feel. And so as we were talking about like the community of these beautiful, powerful women cheering each other on it, listened to your mother. Yeah. Tell us a little bit, like, I love how you took action in what you've done to move the needle slightly, but how did, how did that feel?
Tell us about the, that sexism in your industry and how it felt to you.
It felt like it was one of those things where I guess I thought, I don't know. I mean, I, I felt like. I, I knew this was still a thing, but then when I encountered it I was like, how is this still around? Like how am I dealing with this in like the two thousands?
Like how, how are these people? Like, it was like these dinosaurs of right, of people where, and it could be little things, and this isn't little, it's just compared to some pretty blatant stuff. Um, like a guy getting up on stage in. Talking about like, like all these comments about like there, there was a guy I worked with, and this could be many people, but who would get up on stage and had a joke about taking a girl home who was so drunk that she peed on his mattress and I was sitting there being like, Hey, just quietly you're admitting to a crime on stage.
So like someone who loves you should probably tell you not to do that. And I'm not that person, but I'm letting you know. You're admitting to a crime on stage. You took somebody home who was so intoxicated, they couldn't consent to a sexual act like. That's a thing, right? Um, and yet this, this was, this guy got booked everywhere.
You know, guys who did things about hitting women or just would say things about like my boobs or another comics, boobs, like after they got off stage. And I just remember being like, Like, I'm not gonna give up cuz I'm not a quitter, but I shouldn't have to deal with this. So I would just like quietly file away who this person was, um, and be like, so if they ever message you to do a show, remember this is what they bring to the stage.
Like, and I was always confused by people who booked them because I was like, for 60 to 90 minutes, you control what is being said in a space. And what's going out into the world, and you're gonna book this, this like archaic, right? Um, dinosaur, like woman hating. Like, first of all, it's not even new, it's like syndicate garbage.
Like I could finish this joke except that it would karmically haunt me. Um, you know, it was just horrible, horrible stuff. But then it would also be guys being like, oh, are there two women back here? Or like, Comments. I remember I got featured on something and I was so excited and one of my friends sent me a thing saying, congratulations.
Don't read the comment section. And I was like, wait, what? And when I scrolled down, it was all like, I don't understand. There's a woman with a microphone and she's talking to me. Am I supposed to listen? Is she a waitress? Is she bringing me a drink? Yeah. And it was just one of those things where I was like, whew, I'm just not gonna, I'm just not gonna respond to this.
And my son saw it and it was so cute cuz like it, it was upsetting but it was also very nice cuz he was like, I saw that you got featured on that thing. But then there were all these guys that were saying like, They didn't understand why you were there and like they were, they were saying you didn't write your joke and like that, you stole your joke.
And I was like, how did I steal a joke about you vomiting at the mall? Like, how did I, I was like, there's YouTube footage of me telling that for years before it worked, I didn't steal it. Um, but he, I was like, they're just people that attack you online because they feel threatened. By a woman having a voice and he was like, well, I wanna write back and say like, no, that is her joke.
And that was me that threw up at the mall. And I was like, don't, don't do this. Like I feel like I borrow lessons. From things I say to them for me, like if there's a kid who's not nice to them at school, who's like perpetually making their life miserable, um, while I quietly behind the scenes try to handle that, I'll say to them like, you know, you have 16 other friends that you can focus on.
What about your friend who shared their lunch with you? What about their friend who said they liked your art project? So I try to do that for me where I'm like, don't focus on the guys who. Can't stand that you're simultaneously female and are driven. Um, focus on the other friends that are like, how can I help you?
You know, I like what you're doing, but you know, I think
we want, we want to be shocked and outraged about the, the woman hating. Mm-hmm. Because we want to believe that it's extinct, and it's just that shocking, and it's just that problematic. We want to feel the sense of outrage, like I can't believe that's still happening, but deep down, we aren't shocked.
We're outraged. Mm-hmm. But we're not shocked because if we really open our eyes, I think we will see how much the population still doesn't know how to cope with talented, powerful, driven women and how many men. Hate us for that. Oh yeah. And you can't accept it. And so it's not shocking. It's not horrifying.
We wanna be shocked because I think we wanna believe that as a culture we're better than we are. That we've evolved more than we have. But there is still a. We're, we've got so far to go,
you know? Oh yeah. Yeah. And kids will, kids will bring that up to you. And cuz they're so direct, you know, like my, my son will be like, well why does this person have a problem with you?
There are other people who do what you do. What is the problem with you if you've never had an issue with this person? And I'll be like, well I don't know. Maybe they just have an issue with me that I don't know about. And he's like, but I don't understand. Other people book shows, other people do this.
Other people run comedy festivals. Why did people push back with you? And I turned around cuz I was. I was short on time. I had to get my daughter to bed and I also had to finish with a, I had to help my middle son with a homework project, and I was loading the dishwasher, and I turned around and I was like, why do you think?
Mm-hmm. It's like, because you're a girl. It's like, Yep. Exactly. Yep. I was like, because their mommies didn't love them as much as I love you, love them. I have these moments where I wanna be like, what is your mother like? When people are terrible to me, like as adults, I wanna be like, I bet there's two sides to this story.
Like,
you know, I, for a while when my oldest was in middle school, I considered writing a book called Comebacks for my daughter's eighth grade classmates because like I could have filled a book Yes. With all the like brilliant one-liners. I had, you know, Oof. It's hard when you have all those feelings and you don't know where to where to put them.
I do have to ask, have you
read Bossy Pants by Tina Faye? I love that book.
Yes. I feel like a lot of the stuff you talk about there isn't
as shocking to me just because she touches a lot on sexism and comedy. So, um, great, great, great read. If anybody wants to read.
It used to be one of my favorite books, um, just because it's been so long since Oh yeah. I love that book. I think it's terrific. Yeah. All right, so let's talk about the Boulder Comedy Festival. Yes. , let's start with what is it, how you got the idea and how it has evolved since then.
Um, well, it is a festival that highlights women in diversity in comedy. Um, and I got the idea many years ago when I was still living in LA and booking a show in the back of an Irish pub. Um, and I, that smells like urine. Yes, that smells like urine. Uh, where people would get so drunk that they'd get on the stage and see if the bathroom was on the stage.
They'd like try to get past the comic and be like, is this the bathroom? So I was sitting there watching. A really good show where I was like, these people are so funny, like they should be performing. Other lets your incented venues. Um, I was thinking like, I love doing this. I love putting together like a diverse show with women and different voices.
Wouldn't it be cool to do this as a festival? Because at this point in my life I was getting to do festivals, which was awesome. Um, but I. They were predominantly white and male. Um, and I was sitting there being like, you know, there's, it's not for a lack of talent. Like this could be done, but it really couldn't have been done in LA because it was so saturated and I couldn't have gotten a venue.
And at that point I was, I. Pitching a show called Token Straight White Dude that was, uh, a diverse show with one straight white dude every month. That was it. Oh yeah. That's funny. No venues wanted any part of it. They were all like, they would throw their hands up and be like, no, no. That sounds divisive and political.
And I was like, God, that
isn't that comedy. And also like, I'm sorry, has that ship not sailed by your current choices?
Yes. So I wound up doing it in the backyard of a neighbor's house. I was, I went over for tea and I was like, this is a nice yard. How do you feel about me hosting the comedy show here? I love it.
And we do that. And it got slammed by Breitbart. And my husband was like, very freaked out. He was like, there are lots of angry guys, like saying things online and we have children. And I was like, yeah, yeah, but I'm still gonna keep doing it. Um, and I, I was, I, I really wanted to do something. That highlighted diversity in women as a festival, but I knew it couldn't happen in la.
And um, when we moved to Boulder, I started working with Dairy Art Center and they are, They're great.
That's where the first listen to your mother Boulder shows. Um, we, but then we outgrew them because the venue was too small for Listen to Your Mother Boulder. But it's a beautiful space. I love it. Yeah.
And the
people who work there are like, so supportive and they brought me in to run their monthly comedy show and to emphasize diversity. And so I came in and started doing that and a couple months into it, I said to them like, If I were to do this, um, could I use the, the monthly time for this festival?
And they were like, yeah, we could give you the whole weekend. You know, we, we support you and back you. So I reached out to friends of mine. And just sort of said, if I did this, would you do it? And they were like, yeah. So I was able to have a lineup of funny, talented people with credits, um, from New York and LA that were gonna come and do the show.
And that's kind of what it came out of. And after that, I had people who reached out and said like, can we be a venue? Would you do a show here? Can we sponsor you? And it was amazing. It was really cool. Cause I felt like. I want this, but I don't know how many other people feel the same way I do. And then when we did the first one, it was so nice to get that feedback from the audience of them to be like, thank you.
And it was a lot of people who'd stopped going to see comedy shows cuz they were like, I just didn't feel represented. Nothing they were saying resonated with me, but like I would come out for this. So I love it. And it's been three years so. And we
And how often
does it happen? It's once a year. Every June.
We're usually towards the end of June. Um, and in the last two years we've partnered with without Boulder County for to do, I always wanted, I used to run a show called Karmic Comedy, um, where every month we would work with a different organization and we would give a portion of the ticket sales to the organization and we could target it towards, you know, their board members and their audience, you know, um, And so I wanted to bring some element of that into this.
And I had, um, a comic who knew somebody at Out Boulder County and connected us. And so we did two shows for them, or Saturday night shows were fundraisers for out Boulder County. And then this year we partnered a. With, uh, Colorado Native, which is a native comedy showcase and it benefits Native Arts, uh, which is a different charity.
So I was like, I'd love to be able to bring all these things together. And so it's been, it's been really cool to sort of see how it evolves and people who sort of come out and say like, how can I help? And have you considered this idea? And I'm like, yeah, that's a great idea. Let's do it. I love it. Well, we'll put the information in the show notes for everybody, especially in the Boulder, Colorado area, who's interested.
Yeah. In attending. Yeah.
I kind of wanna combine the, okay, so let's talk about the importance of having an identity outside of motherhood. Um, and I kind of have two questions. How has that identity outside of motherhood concept been part of your life? And did you ever want to be a full-time stay-at-home mom?
I think I was not comfortable having, I moved from New York to LA and I didn't know anybody, so I wasn't comfortable leaving my kids with somebody I didn't know. I'm just too anxious of a person. And, um, so I was a stay-at-home mom for a long time, but I felt like this really made me a better mom having something validated me, cuz like you can be, Terrific at being a mom, but never, no one like sits down and says like, you handled this really well.
Mm-hmm. So we're gonna give you a raise and more responsibility. Yeah. You know, the people who need that kind of validation struggle the most being a stay-at-home mom, and that is me too. And I feel like nobody ever said, nobody's thanking me. Yeah. Kids don't do that. They're just like, I'm hungry again.
Yeah. Um, and you're like, but I just fed you so well. I will, I
will argue that my 11 year old, uh, said to me, you're doing great, mommy. The other day when I cleaned up the projectile vomit all over my other daughter's floor, so I, I did get that.
I get, I get those things. You, Sophie. Yeah. It was really rewarding.
It's interesting sometimes where people are like, good job. Thank you. Like, like, cause we try to do like the roses and thorns like they do in kindergarten. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And we try do like, what do we appreciate about so and so? And yeah, I've got a.
Story about that. I'm gonna send it to you. I read it at one of our, listen to your mother's shows.
It was about our Family Wellness night, and I titled my piece, the Anti-Feminist Agenda of Family Wellness Night, because I found that most of the roses directed at me were all about my acts of service and caregiving and how I made other people's lives better rather than about any actual innate qualities that I myself possess as a person.
Yes.
So yes, and they're changed. Tell me how that works. It isn't how they work, you know? It's like this really demanding job. But there's not, and it's very important, but there's not a lot of recognition or validation. And so to go and do something where somebody was like, oh, good job. I liked this joke. I liked how you did this.
Would you like to come do this other show? I was like, I'm gonna live off this for a week.
And the stay-at-home mom part did is, is that something that you
thought you wanted and then when you were in it, you realized it didn't work for you or
you knew you were For me? Cause like the childcare, like not wanting to leave your kids with someone like that's totally, but like,
Yeah.
What I, I, I did have a great babysitter for a while, but I was always working at night for the most part. Mm. Um, I mean, now I'm like going to farmer's markets and flyering things and, you know, meeting with venues and stuff like that and bringing kids along to be like, help me carry this A-frame. But, um, yeah, I think I, I don't know that I considered that my mom was a stay-at-home mom and I think I thought, I don't know.
I think I thought I would be working, but um, it just wasn't realistic to be like, oh yeah, I would be auditioning for something and off for three months, filming and leaving. It wasn't really anything that sat, it wasn't, it was, it wasn't anything that I knew disagreed with me until I was confronted with it in the moment and I was like, oh, I don't think this is gonna work for me.
So it's mainly been a lot of like me working at night. And, um, my husband working during the day, like hearing my kids talk about it is funny cuz they'll be like, and then mommies leave around dinner. Aww. And they do, you know, breakfast and lunch. It's like you had
the best of both worlds and the worst of both worlds because it was like you were a stay-at-home mom and a working mom.
Like you were li you were like, you were like spider-man. You had a
double life. Yeah. Yeah, it was both. It was I, wow. I looked really shady at one point, cause I was dropping my son off for kinder. This is my second son, and they were doing those half days and it was far from our house and I was working at night.
I was doing standup, so I was getting home at like 11 and then getting up at six to make breakfast and fight people about putting shoes on. So I would just drop him off and I would sleep in my car and then take him off. Oh. There was no point in driving back. And I remember one mom at this school, um, being like, are you the woman that sleeps in her car?
She did not. I was like, what is this really about? Um, I was like, I think I'm just tired and I live far away, so I don't wanna get on like the floor. Yeah, don't ask me to explain
myself, please. Yeah, I guess I'll go sleep in a target parking lot next time, so as to avoid the judgmental
looks. It was one of those things where I was like, who is that helpful for?
I'm like, were you a mean girl? Is that what this is? Right. That's good material for your next standup show. Right there. Stand up. Right. Uh, mom. Guilt. My favorite subject. Do. Do you experience mom, girl? Especially in the beginning. Yes. When you're like, look, I'm gonna do this husband, I know you're on board, but all the time, am I on board?
Yeah. I. Yes, I experience it now, you know, but certainly then, and I remember it was kind of cool. My husband sent this nice precedent. His mom was a working mom. Both of his parents worked. Um, and he had said to me one night when I was going out to something, cause my older son was like, I don't want you to go.
I want you to stay with me and read to me and get me to bed. Which was like a rare thing cuz he always wanted dad and now he is saying this. And I was like, um, well, I mean, It's gonna take me two hours to get there, but I, um, well, let me, uh, and my husband came over and he was like, no, mommy's time is valuable too.
She agreed to be somewhere. She gave somebody her word, she made a commitment. And she has to go, but you'll see her tomorrow and you can get that time with her tomorrow. And I was like, I feel like I should stay. And he was like, I don't think so. He was like, I think you need to send a message to them that mom's time is valuable too, and that when you make a commitment and you give somebody your word, that means something.
And he was like, so he always does this thing where he goes, so go be funny. Like regardless of what's happening, someone's throwing up on the floor or whatever, and he's like, go be funny. So, Yeah, I mean, I feel the guilt a lot. I where my kids will say, I miss you or, and then I feel bad and I check in. It's like when you drop them off at school and I'll text him and be like, is everything okay?
And he is like, yeah, she's completely fine. She forgot about you the minute you left the house. We're reading like 15 books. And um, but yeah, it is that thing. And I don't know, I mean, I asked my husband, I'm like, do you have guilt for that when you have to go do something? And he was like, no. Right. Okay. I do.
It was like it keeps me up at night and makes me think they're gonna be talking about it. In therapy, men are the best consultants for mom guilt because they're like, I don't know what you're, talk what? Like reality, just like, no, you
have to do this. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, our motto is feel the guilt and do it anyway.
Yes, yes. I mean, no, there was, there was one, God, I can't remember what it was. I think I had just gotten back. I, I had two back to back trips to Iowa and, um, I wanted to go to yoga this one night and Sophie really wanted to watch a movie with me. And I was like, yep, I'm, I, I've been gone a lot. I will watch this movie.
And then the next time I wanted to go, To yoga. She was like, well, I was hoping we could have family movie night, but somebody's going to yoga. And I was like, that is a guilt trip. That is passive aggressive. Um, no peace out.
Yeah. And I think it's good for them.
Zoe, can you tell us more about the Boulder comedy festival? Has the festival already happened? When does it happen?
No, it hasn't. It, um, perfect.
Plenty of time. We are June 21st through the 22nd, and our show on the 21st is sold out, but the remaining eight shows have tickets. That's amazing. We have booie, we have two Booie brunch shows. Um, because I, I was like, I, I would love that concept. You have the rest of your day to yourself. So it was like, let's try this.
So we have, um, a Saturday boozy brunch and a Sunday Booy brunch. We have a Friday, seven o'clock show, a Friday, nine o'clock show, a Saturday, seven o'clock show, a Saturday, nine o'clock show, and a Sunday boozy brunch. And Sunday, seven o'clock and, um, Yeah, we've got funny people from Netflix and Comedy Central and Late Night and incredible local headliners.
We have Chris Bryant who just released an album called, uh, gender Reveal, um, which is like all about being like neurodiversity and growing up gay and the South and being non-binary and. Has experienced a lot of like censorship with the album. And so I was like, you come, you headline, you sell your album at Boulder Comedy Festival.
I was like, I love it. That's amazing. I amazing. You're experiencing a lot of hate, but none of that is here in Boulder. It's all love. Here, please come. Mm-hmm. So yeah, it's, we've got tickets online@bouldercomedyfestival.com and a great diverse lineup of very funny people from all over the country. Cool.
I'm definitely gonna be there for at least one. I, I, my book writing trip starts at the end of June, but I'm gonna be able to get to one before I go. So should go together, Stacy. That'd be fun. Yeah, that would be fun. Can, where else can we find you?
Yes, Zoe. Um, I do the monthly show at Dairy Arts. It's called Dairy Comedy.
Um, and I perform all over the place, so, Hey,
tell us where your website, or are you on Instagram? How can we follow you so we can keep up on your, on your shows and stuff?
Yes. Um, I'm at, at Zoe Rogers Comedy, um, and Zoe Rogers comedy on Facebook and has a website, um, that has a lot of shows and dates and yeah, I'm all, I'm all over the place, so.
Sweet. We'll
link, we'll link to you everywhere. You guys want Zoe in your life. She is. Oh, thank you. She's such an inspiration that when I heard her. Perform for the first time. I was like, hi, please audition for Listen to your mother. Thank you. And she did. And thank goodness she brought the house down.
She's part of our, she's part of our life now. And, um, yeah. Zoe, you're amazing and I feel proud to know you and I. Oh,
thank you. It's a mutual feeling. Thank you. Congratulations on the Boulder comedy for us. Oh, thank you. Congratulations on listening to your mother. You're doing awesome things. Thanks.
As a side note Stacy and I are exploring this idea that we've tentatively called Mother plus the mic.
Because talent shows aren't just for your kids or take back the mic. What we want is for moms who have a talent, whether it's singing or reading their poetry or reading their essay or doing standup, that they get to take the stage and basically just. Intimate crowds at local bars and places like that where we have like a 90 minute show where moms are up there doing their thing and, and Yep. Finding that thing that makes them feel like them with like a supportive crowd around them. And we want it to be, like I say, talent show because it's not just like a whole bunch of poets or like, everyone's gonna read this and, and it's not motherhood themed, it's just.
The mom is the one who's bringing, like, you bring the talent, we bring the mic, kind of a thing, right?
Now you guys know, we've been working on behind the scenes and I just extemporaneously presented it to you.
I think it sounds
phenomenal. Yeah. Well, you like, you were such an inspiration in that regard because you were like, this is a need that needs to be filled.
These are people who have talents and I wanna give them this container and this space and the mic to shine their light because other people aren't doing it. And it seems like a lot of the time we have to take matters into our own hands because the world is not going to advocate for us. We have to
advocate for ourselves.
Yeah, you have to. If you don't like the way things are, change it. Start your own game. Start your own game and don't let being a
mom stop you. Yes. Oof. Okay. On that note, I feel like that, that mic drop, um, yeah. All right, sweet. Thank you, Zoe. Thank you for your, you do,
thanks for
making been so awesome. Okay,
you. Bye Zoe. Bye guys. Have a good, have a good rest of your day. Yeah, you 📍 too. You too. Bye.
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