Satisfaction Factor

#40 - Life After Diets

June 29, 2022 Naomi Katz & Sadie Simpson
Satisfaction Factor
#40 - Life After Diets
Show Notes Transcript

This week, we're talking all about life after diets! We often hear mantras in mainstream body positivity like "you're not a number on a scale", and those can be great entry points into breaking out of diet culture. But they only tell us what we're not. Often, when we've spent a lot of time within diet culture, our diet & exercise choices become part of our identity. We identify as "the healthy one" or "the fit one." And, if that's the case, imagining a life without diets can feel really scary & complicated! So, today's episode is all about how we can start figuring out who we are if we're not dieting. We're talking about: why it's important to separate behaviors from identities; how diet culture can disconnect us from who we really are; and some ways to start exploring our personalities, values, and preferences outside of diet culture. Plus, we both share some of our own experiences with finding life after diets!

And if you're interested in starting to reimagine your own life after diets, the waitlist for Naomi's new & improved 1:1 Intuitive Eating & Anti-Diet coaching is now open! She'll be opening 3 coaching spots next week, and the waitlist gets you first dibs on those, as well as 10% off your package price if you choose to sign up. Join the waitlist - with no obligation - by clicking here!

You can stay up to date on all things Satisfaction Factor by following us on IG @satisfactionfactorpod!

Here's where to find us:
Sadie Simpson: www.sadiesimpson.com or IG @thesadiesimpson
Naomi Katz: www.happyshapes.co or IG @happyshapesnaomi

For this episode's transcript, visit: www.satisfactionfactorpod.com

Referenced in this episode:
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Beauty Redefined

Naomi Katz:

Welcome to Satisfaction Factor, the podcast where we explore how ditching diet culture makes our whole lives more satisfying. Welcome back to Satisfaction Factor. I'm Naomi Katz, an Intuitive Eating, body image, and self trust coach.

Sadie Simpson:

I'm Sadie Simpson, a group fitness instructor, personal trainer, and Intuitive Eating counselor.

Naomi Katz:

So before we dig into our topic today, just a couple of quick things. First, I wanted to let everybody know that the waitlist for my one to one Intuitive Eating and anti diet coaching is currently open. We're gonna put the link to that in the show notes. And later this week, I will be opening three of those coaching spots. There is absolutely no obligation to joining the waitlist, but it does mean that you will get first dibs on those three spots, and you'll get 10% off of your package price if you do decide to sign up. So again, I'm gonna put the link for the waitlist for my one to one Intuitive Eating and anti diet coaching packages in the show notes. So feel free to jump on that waitlist, if that's something you might be interested in.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, and after listening to this episode, it really might be something that you're interested in, because we are going to dig in today about life after diets. And that is something that is a- it's a pretty broad topic. But it can be a really challenging thing to navigate, and doing that work with a coach can be very, very, very helpful.

Naomi Katz:

Picturing what life is like after diets can be like weird and hard. Just having a space to talk it through and do some exploration can feel really supportive to people sometimes.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

Kind of the inspiration for this episode is I've been thinking a lot lately about the, you know, quote unquote, body positivity mantras of things like you're more than a number, or you're not your dress size, and things like that. And I think that these kinds of phrases are really helpful when we're first starting to break the hold of things like the scale, or clothing sizes, and stuff like that. I think they can be an awesome entry point. But I also have been feeling like they're missing something. And what I've realized is that they only tell us what we're not.

Sadie Simpson:

Oh, my gosh, I have not even thought about that. Those things in recent years have felt a little not relatable to me too. And I've never even considered that they- they tell us what we're not.

Naomi Katz:

I love that you also have felt like something was a little bit off with these.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah. I think that's what it is. I think it's that they only tell us what we're not. And a lot of times, when we've spent a ton of time and energy within diet culture, we kind of find that we've almost like adopted diet culture as part of our identity. Meaning we're the healthy one, or we're the fit one, or something like that. And we'll expand on this a little bit more later. But our conversations tend to focus around our diet and our exercise routines. We spend a lot of mental capacity thinking about food and workouts. We might even spend like actual time doing things like meal prepping, and researching healthy recipes, and substitutions, and, you know, all of that kind of stuff. And so when we make the decision to ditch diets and ditch diet culture, I think sometimes we feel a little bit lost as to what's next in our lives, what we do with ourselves if we're not doing these things, and who we are without diets. And I think that phrases like you're not a number on a scale are great, but they don't actually help us figure out what we are then. So today, we're going to kind of dig into how we can go about, like, basically- and not to sound too cheesy- finding ourselves after we ditch diets. We're going to talk about sort of how we can answer that other part of the question- like, if we're not a number, then what are we? We're going to really just dig into the nuances of life after diets.

Sadie Simpson:

Yay. I'm really, really excited about this topic. And I think this is something that a lot of folks who are exploring what it means to disengage from diet culture- whether they're in the big beginning stages of that, or they've been doing this type of work for a long time- this is a big question and a big topic.

Naomi Katz:

Kind of just start us off, this conversation often makes me think of something that Glennon Doyle wrote in Untamed. Have you read that book?

Sadie Simpson:

I have not.

Naomi Katz:

So I was very skeptical about this book. I was like, I don't know if this is going to be my thing. This is, you know, a privileged white lady, right. I like really- I was afraid that I was gonna get Rachel Hollis vibes from it. Even though I've never heard anybody say that Glennon Doyle is like Rachel Hollis. But I just was like, oh, is this gonna happen? And then my neighbor lent me her copy of the book. And holy shit. It is excellent. It is a truly excellent book. So highly recommend. We'll put that in the show notes too. But there's a quote in Untamed that I want to share with you, and with our listeners, that I think really, really relates to this topic. So, quote, "Ask a woman who she is and she'll tell you who she loves, who she serves, and what she does. I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, a career woman. The fact that we define ourselves by our roles is what keeps the world spinning. It's also what makes us untethered and afraid. If a woman defines herself as a wife, what happens if her partner leaves? If a woman defines herself as a mother, what happens when her kids leave for college? If a woman defines herself as a career woman, what happens when the company folds?" End quote.

Sadie Simpson:

Holy crap. Yes. Oh, my gosh, that, right there, is like a selling point. I need to read this book. Because dang.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, that's how I felt about it, too. Like, when I read this, it really hit home.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

And I'm really seeing how these things apply to our relationship to diet culture too.

Sadie Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Naomi Katz:

It's worth thinking about how we talk about diets as identities, right? Like people say things like, I'm paleo, I'm gluten free, I'm vegan, and so forth. And it's like we're- we're claiming these things as who we are and as a description of our identity. And they're not. They're behaviors.

Sadie Simpson:

Well, that really makes me think of the professional dieter persona. And we talked about that a couple of months ago in our eating styles episodes. But a professional dieter, if you haven't listened to that episode, is somebody who has like done every single diet. And we all know that person, or maybe we have been that person, who is known in the friend group, or known in the family, as the diet friend, or the diet cousin, or the diet aunt, or whatever- the person who's always trying a new diet, or a new exercise trend, a new weight loss program- like that is just what they are known for. And that's exactly what this reminds me of.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, absolutely. And like, I know this isn't true for everybody, but I think some of us take that identity to the point where then we pursue careers in these things, and, like, shape our whole lives around them. I did that.

Sadie Simpson:

Oh, my gosh, I relate to that 100%. Because Me too. For sure.

Naomi Katz:

And like, you know, I think there's different ways that that can play out. You know, where like, I didn't really have a particular passion for anatomy, or biomechanics, or, you know, even like fitness, or all of that stuff, but I loved being associated with those things. And so I just- this is a very interwoven and complex thing for me, because I like, that's really what drove me to be a Pilates instructor, be a personal trainer, be a nutrition coach. And like, it's been something that I've had to unpack along the way, as I've stopped doing those things, and started being a person who works with people to divest from all of those things- from fitness, and from diet culture, and from diets, and all of that. Like there definitely was a point in time of reckon with the fact that I was letting go of this thing that I had really identified with for so long. And what were people going to think if I did that? literally started my career in fitness because of diet culture, because, you know, I wanted to get paid to exercise, and then I wanted to, quote unquote, inspire others to get fit, and do all this sort of stuff. And gosh, there's been so many times I've really had to question that identity, and, you know, just acknowledge where it came from, and how that identity has evolved. But I mean, that even goes back to that Glennon Doyle quote you just shared- that's still another identity that like I defined myself by- is my career path, and, you know, my education, and my titles, or whatever. So- God- so- just so many layers- especially for us, I feel like- but probably for so many people out there listening, of how this stuff is just so freakin interwoven and just intersecting in like every area of our lives. Yeah, totally. And I think it's very true- you know, obviously, you and I are people who have taken that extra step of building a career out of it, and, you know, really honing, not just our personal lives, but our work lives around that stuff, too- but, you know, even for people who haven't- who don't take that extra step, who- it's just like, within their personal lives, they're the healthy one, the fit one, the whatever- that's an identity. Like, that's how we're relating to other people. And anytime we're talking about how we're relating to other people, and how we're identifying ourselves within that context, it's going to be really hard to shift.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

But it's so important because- okay, you know, like Glennon Doyle talks about, like, if a woman defines herself as a wife, what happens if their partner leaves- well, if you identify yourself as a clean eater, what happens when those food rules start to feel overwhelming? Right? Like, if you identify as fit, what happens if you get sick, or you're injured, and you have to scale back on your workout? If you identify a strong, even- especially if we're talking about physical strength- what happens if lifting heavy weights stops feeling good, or if, because of a sickness, or an injury, or something like that, you have to back off on the weights that you're lifting? Like, there's so many things that are variable here, and I think this plays very much into- we've talked before about the- how love your body for what it can do can be a little rough- and that comes into play here too. But ultimately, when we link behaviors to identity, it means that there's really no room for us to evolve or to pivot. When those behaviors stop working for us, it ends up where, if we decide we want to change those behaviors, we also have to change who we think we are. Like, changing our workout routine can change our whole sense of like who we are in the world. Oh, I am a CrossFitter, but CrossFit- like, I got injured. We love to talk about CrossFit. But like- but seriously- like, okay, I identify as a CrossFitter, but CrossFit is not working for me right now. Like, it's not feeling good, I hurt myself, whatever. What am I, if I'm a CrossFitter who's not doing CrossFit anymore? And I think that's the thing- that's the big difference between something that's an identity and something that's not- is like, is it inherent to you as a person? Or is it just something that you're doing right now? Is claiming it as an identity necessarily static? Or is it something that can shift, and change, and evolve without, you know, bringing up that whole sense of who the hell am I in the world?

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah. Man. We're gonna have like a major identity crisis as a result of this episode- like a collective identity crisis.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah. Sorry everyone.

Sadie Simpson:

It's okay. Join the club. I think something to consider here in this conversation of what is life after dieting is that- I don't know about you, and maybe you can share your experience- but I know for me, and I assume for a lot of folks, we don't just wake up one day and decide that like,

Naomi Katz:

I love it. Yeah, you know, I think that that's a okay, we're done. We give up dieting cold turkey. Like, I'm fed up, I'm never doing this again. And again, there may be some people out there who have been like, screw this, I'm never attempting any sort of weight loss program, any sort of diet, ever again. But yeah, definitely wasn't my experience. And even after I started practicing and learning about Intuitive Eating, there were still times, especially in the beginning, when I reverted back to some dieting behaviors. And I won't go into super detail, but specifically, like My Fitness Pal, and like tracking, and food journaling, and that sort of thing was just something that stands out in my mind, that I just- like I would learn about Intuitive Eating, I would practice some of the principles, I would practice some of the things that I read about in the book, but I just would always revert back to some of these behaviors that I felt like I had to do because of dieting- because of diet culture. And like, from a conceptual level, I understood what Intuitive Eating was, but I just wasn't quite ready to get rid of some of those tools of dieting. I wasn't ready to be done with it completely. I kind of was like toeing the line and felt like I could sort of, kind of straddle the fence, I guess you could say, I didn't really start putting the pieces together until I started to understand it from a broader, societal, systemic level- that like I was officially done. Like, I needed some of these foundational knowledge points, these entry points, these kind of, like, testing the waters things, just to- to get me in the door, I guess. But then I needed the bigger picture stuff to really, like, nail the- hammer the nail in the coffin, so to speak. I'm full of all kinds of little cliche phrases today. really good observation and a really good point, is that we don't figure out who we are without diet culture simply by not dieting anymore.

Sadie Simpson:

Right.

Naomi Katz:

Like, that's not a switch we flip. Where like, we're a dieter, and then we're not a dieter anymore. And that, it often takes like asking some bigger questions, and learning some bigger things, and digging deeper into the roots of these things, and all of that stuff to really help us find our way to who are we without diets, and being able to even envision a life as a non dieter. You know, we could just come back to Glennon Doyle again, because she offers like a really interesting perspective, and a really, I think, helpful way to look at like, okay, but then how do we answer that question? So I'm going to quote Untamed again, where she says, "To live a life of her own, each woman must also answer: What do I love? What makes me come alive? What is beauty to me, and when do I take the time to fill us with it? Who is the soul beneath all of these roles?" End quote. And I just think it's so powerful, because it's like, these are the bigger questions. Like, all of those things- like, there's not a single one of those questions that you could answer in a way that referred to the food you ate, or the exercise that you did.

Sadie Simpson:

Nope.

Naomi Katz:

There's not a single part of that question that you could answer in terms of your health status, or your body size. A little side note to that- just want to say that, like, I do understand that people identify as fat. And I think that's a little bit different. Because it's an identity that has such a large impact on how you are treated in the world, and your ability to move through the world, and things like that. It's really not the same as identifying as like the thin friend.

Sadie Simpson:

Mm-hmm.

Naomi Katz:

So let's talk about how we answer these questions.

Sadie Simpson:

Yes, let's do it. Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

So I like to start with- I know, this is really Because they're big questions. And it's definitely not the kind of thing where you can just sit down and be like, I'm going to just write out some answers. I mean, you can, like, silly, but I have found it to be like a thing for me, definitely- journal with those questions as much as you want. And I definitely feel like that could be supportive and helpful. Sometimes when we're just journaling about something, it can feel disconnected from our day to day life, it can feel which is, like, personality type quizzes and assessments. I've very high level, and less like, okay, but what does that look like in real life, and stuff like that. And, yes, that's stuff that you can also journal about. But let's talk about, just sort of day to day, what are things that we can do to definitely found that some of those have been kind of helpful, help ourselves answer those questions?

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, same. I have definitely found a lot of even in just recognizing some commonalities about how I move value in some of the more well researched, evidenced-ish based through the world. ones, but also, you know, like, BuzzFeed quizzes too. I'm not gonna hate on a BuzzFeed quiz to tell me which Golden Girl I am either.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, I love a good Buzzfeed quiz, for sure. And also, there's- there's other things. Like, we've talked before, I think we're both really intrigued by the Enneagram, and like the insights that you can get through that. I have definitely learned some stuff about myself, figuring out my Enneagram type, and then also talking to some people who are well versed in the Enneagram, and hearing their input on like some of the like subtypes of my Enneagram, and stuff like that. And really seeing, like, how it speaks to things like how I handle conflict, and how I handle relationships, and even like self care, and self protective behaviors, and things like that. Like, it's been really, really interesting to learn some of this stuff. And it's not even learning- like it is, but it's recognizing myself in it. The other thing that I have found so interesting is astrology. Just simple stuff about, like, oh, I'm Taurus, sun, Cancer moon, and Leo rising- like I am these things. And while this has definitely been something that mostly has been more of like a- just a fun thing to know about myself, even there, there have been some things where I've been like, oh, I recognize that trait in myself. And sometimes it's- like, it's a trait that maybe I have judged in the past, and now recognize as like, oh, maybe that's not something I have to judge, maybe it's just something I can be aware of. And I can see there's some commonality in it, like it's not isolating, this is clearly like a common trait of some people. And using that knowledge to just be more tuned in to how I handle certain situations and stuff.

Sadie Simpson:

That's awesome. Until probably a year ago, I just thought that there was just regular, like, signs- like Leo, Cancer. I didn't know about any of this, like, sun, rising, moon, whatever. Like, I still obviously don't know a lot about it. But until I started seeing people post their stuff on Instagram stories, I was like, what is all this? And clearly, I still don't know what it all is. But now I'm curious to know what my other astrology things are. I don't even know the right words to use to describe it. But now I need to figure this out.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, it's a star chart. That's what you- you have your star chart done, and they look at the day you were born, the time you were born, where you were born, and stuff like that. And that's actually how I found out that I was not, in fact, an Aries, I was a Taurus, is because of the time and location on the day that I was born pushed me over that cusp line.

Sadie Simpson:

That is wild.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah. So those are a couple. Myers Briggs, obviously, is one that I think is really, really well known. Do you know what your Myers Briggs is?

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, the last time I took the Myers Briggs-

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, I am an ISFJ. like I had teetered between a couple of different ones for a while- it was like just one letter different. I don't really know what that means. I guess it was just my mood when I took the quiz. But ISTJ is the- like, the different combinations of

Sadie Simpson:

Oh.

Naomi Katz:

That's interesting. letters of that I have gotten most recently. What about you?

Sadie Simpson:

That makes sense. Like ISTJ- T is the thinking, F Or do you know? is the feeling.

Naomi Katz:

Oh my god. Yeah. And that is-

Sadie Simpson:

I see that.

Naomi Katz:

Whoa.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, but the little bit that I know about it, I know those are two of the- like the words.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah. And it actually makes sense, because we are a lot alike, but I think that's the big thing where we differ, is that I tend to be guided more by feelings, and like sensing- well sensing is one of the other letters- but like, I tend to be guided more by feeling, and you tend to be guided more by like facts, and-

Sadie Simpson:

Yup.

Naomi Katz:

-stuff like that. Oh, my gosh, that's so interesting.

Sadie Simpson:

Very much so.

Naomi Katz:

You know, there's a ton of these kinds of quizzes and assessments. I know Clifton StrengthsFinder is one. I've never done that one. I don't really know anything about it. But I know it's a big one that people use a lot.

Sadie Simpson:

It's a good one. I've done that one years ago in a work situation- like all the co workers took the StrengthsFinder, and then we had like a retreat about the whole thing. But it was- it's really good because there's a lot of resources out there around it- like, there's a whole book about it, to where- and then there's probably a workbook too- where you kind of find your top five strengths, and you sort of learn about it, and work through it individually. But then also how those strengths can show up in a partnership, or in a team, and how you can bring those strengths to the table. And it's- it's really good.

Naomi Katz:

And yeah, so there's a ton of these things. And I

Sadie Simpson:

Yes, we do. want to be really clear that the goal of this is not to then choose one of these things and have it be your new identity, or to, like, let any of these assessments define you themselves. It's really more just a way to- it's just a way to recognize traits about ourselves, maybe recognize some values that we're holding, recognize some ways that we move through the world. And then, you know, we can choose to lean into or away from any of those things as we live our lives. But it's a kind of a cool way to just- it can tune us in a little bit to some personality traits that we have. And again, personality traits- not necessarily behaviors, not necessarily identities- but just traits that we may have, and that may impact other choices that we want to make in our lives. I think another really good place to start is to just start thinking about things that maybe we've been holding back from doing until we lose weight, or things that we've been holding back from doing because of diet rules, or things like that. And we all have those things.

Naomi Katz:

So I mean, we're talking about trips, we're talking about activities, we're talking about- I mean, just like a million things.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, yeah. Oh, gosh. Well, getting pregnant. I mean, I've heard people say, oh, I can't get pregnant until I lose weight. I can't start dating. I can't have certain medical procedures. And some of these things may not be internalized, they may have been things other people have expressed to us- like medical procedures, specifically, but that's a whole other topic, and a whole entire episode that we could go into that. But gosh, even taking a group exercise class- this one comes up a lot, because we'll have people come into a gym or a facility where I work at, and they join, and they're eager to get involved, but something is holding them back from participating in a class, like a yoga class, or a Zumba class, or a cycle class, or water aerobics, whatever. Because there's a perception that you have to lose weight or, quote unquote, be fit before you start a group class. Another big one is pictures, either taking photos of ourselves, whether it's, I mean, just a headshot, or a full body shot, or being in photos with other people, and not feeling like we have to hide part of our bodies behind our kids, or like, pose a specific way, or turn in a specific angle. That's a- that's a big,

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, totally. And I think that that's one- I feel big one. like I see a lot of posts about that as it relates to moms, especially- that just so many moms are out there, like, so in the grasp of diet culture, that they're not in their own family photos. That- I just- that breaks my heart.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

It just breaks my heart. And so yeah, things like- especially if who you are outside of all of these other identities is a person who loves your family, and who enjoys your time with your family, and all of that stuff- like being able to be present in those moments is a really big thing.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah. Well, and I think that is just such a generational narrative that just gets passed down, and it becomes this thing that we embody. Like, oh, we have to either get in the back of the picture- and when I say we, I mean like moms- moms have to get in the back of the picture, they have to hide behind the kids, they have to pose their kid like in front of their thighs, or in front of their stomach, or a place that they perceive as flawed. And I mean, I can remember hearing that come from not just my mother, but other like mothers around my mother's age. Oh, get in front of me, I don't want my stomach to be seen in this picture. And then, like I can remember hearing my grandmother and other people my grandmother's age saying that thing. Like, it's just such a common narrative that gets passed down, that it becomes normalized that we have to be, one, ashamed of our bodies in pictures. And then we have to continue this cycle of like saying that in front of our own kids, to where they believe that has to be the truth. It's just it's a whole thing.

Naomi Katz:

Most definitely. And I definitely have memories of those same kinds of conversations and stuff, so that is for sure a generational thing. Um, I also want to stress there's a difference between mother being your identity, and identifying as a person who loves and enjoys their family.

Sadie Simpson:

Mmmm.

Naomi Katz:

I think that's a different thing.

Sadie Simpson:

Mm hmm.

Naomi Katz:

I think there's a lot of nuance in recognizing that those things are different. If your identity is mother, your- your identity only exists in relation to somebody else.

Sadie Simpson:

Mm hmm.

Naomi Katz:

If your identity is a person who loves and enjoys their family, it's more about the feeling. It's more about your relationship to the experience. Like it doesn't stop existing if something about that family changes.

Sadie Simpson:

Oh, my gosh, I love that so much. And I think that's a really important clarification.

Naomi Katz:

I didn't wanna sound like I was, like, just writing off moms here. Like, that's not- that's not what we're doing.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

You know, another real, like, common one that comes up in, like, things that we hold back from, is our clothing choices. We've talked a number of times about stuff like that. And obviously, there are limitations to clothing choices in larger bodies, and especially as you go up the scale of larger bodies. But there's a difference between lack of accessibility and things that we have written off as not for us because of our bodies. And so, you know, is there something that you've always wanted to wear, but haven't because you just felt like it wasn't for your body? You know, this is the time to start thinking about, like- you know, a lot of times our clothing choices are expressions of our personalities, and so we can almost think about that as suppressing an aspect of our personality, or quieting our personality, when we actively choose not to make those clothing choices because we think they're not for our bodies, or something like that.

Sadie Simpson:

Oh, yeah. Well, that makes me think of another one, too. Haircuts.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah.

Sadie Simpson:

How many times have you heard somebody say, oh, I can't get that haircut because my face is too round, or I can't get that haircut until I lose weight, or something like that.

Naomi Katz:

Talk to me about my bangs. I had had bangs two other times in my life before now. And both times, I immediately regretted it because I felt like it made my face look too round, or some other stupid diet culture narrative. And it's so funny, because now that I have bangs again, and I don't have those narratives, it's like my favorite haircut I've ever had in the world, and I like can't imagine going back to not having bangs, even when they're sweaty in the summer.

Sadie Simpson:

Yes.

Naomi Katz:

That's a great one. And it's, you know, again, like expressions of personality. And so, like, if part of letting go of diet culture means that we can also start letting go of narratives about which bodies are allowed to wear certain haircuts, or wear certain clothes, and stuff like that, then that's actually an avenue to reconnecting with some expression of our personality. And then similarly, you know, we can spend some time thinking about the things that we maybe used to enjoy before we started letting diets and weight hold us back. Now, for some of us, maybe there was never was a time that diet culture wasn't a thing for us. Or maybe it just goes back so far that we don't remember what we might have enjoyed before that. But for some of us, this is something that we can spend some time thinking about. You know, Sadie, you and I talked about, in the beach body episode, the- you know, going to the beach, and going to the pool, and being in bathing suits, and stuff like that- how, like, we both love that, and we both had really complicated relationships with it for a really long time. And like I personally avoided it as much as possible for years.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah. Well, and even other things that maybe people have enjoyed in childhood, or teenage years, or young adulthood, or whatever previous versions of themselves- things like dancing, or swimming, or riding a bicycle, or just some of these like fun, playful activities, that sometimes we feel like we can't do anymore- things that we feel like our weight, or diet, or whatever holds us back from participating in- activities that actually have given us joy at one point, and could be something that can help us like reconnect to our bodies, and reconnect to a type of movement that we really actually like.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, absolutely. Lindsay and Lexi Kite from Beauty Redefined- I don't know why this is the first thing that came to my mind- but they talk a lot about how when they were younger, they both were really big swimmers, and, like, that they absolutely loved swimming, that they both just felt like it was fun, and it was enjoyable, and it was just- and they felt powerful, and they felt good. And that it wasn't until they started to get a little older, and their bodies started to become more of a focus of conversation and concern, and then all of that stuff, that like they got to the point where they stopped swimming altogether, because being in a bathing suit was not for them. And it's so interesting to think about that. Like, and that now that they have done all this deconstructing- and, you know, they have a book- the book is called More Than A Body- and I think they have a podcast, and a whole business based around this. But one of the things that they both reclaimed as adults who had healed their relationship with food, and their bodies, and stuff, was swimming, and how it was just this- like it like opened up this world to them again, that they had been disconnected from by diet culture.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah. Yeah, I've done some of those values assessments

Naomi Katz:

Core values work can really come into play here too- doing the kind of work to, like, just actually identify what are our core values. You know, we talk a lot on this podcast about how part of what makes our lives more satisfying, and part of what plays into self trust, and all of that stuff is how things- is doing things that align with our values. And like, sometimes doing that requires us to actually take the time to identify what our core values are. There are lots of assessments for this online. Like if you Google core values assessment or core values work, you'll get like a ton of- like, and it doesn't have to be anything complicated. It's usually just like a worksheet with just like a whole bunch of words, and the idea is to go through and like circle five or 10 that really resonate with you, and then to like narrow with clients I've worked with in the past, and I think it's a those down to three to five that you would say are your core, and stuff like that. That's like the most basic version of this kind of core values work. And it can really, again, help us to figure out, like, what's in alignment with those values, what's not in alignment with those values, what activities can we be doing more of or less of to align with our values. My- like, I've done core value work, and I've come to the conclusion repeatedly, in multiple different versions of core value work, that my highest core value is connection. That's been helpful, especially in terms of noticing the ways that like diets and diet culture have mostly worked to disconnect me from people, and then being able to take that information and use it to, you know, lean on, as I'm trying to rebuild those connections with people, with myself, with society, with community, with all of these things. really valuable tool for folks to utilize, especially when they are ending their relationship with diets, and disengaging from diet culture, and examining life after diets. Because it is really helpful to recognize where do your values lie? And do your values lie with the pursuit of intentional weight loss? Because I think it's a great way to kind of solidify with how our values alignment intersects with doing this type of work, and just on a broader level. Yeah, definitely. It's the what do we actually want out of our lives. Like, a lot of that comes from what do we value. And I know, that's kind of vague, like I- you know, I gave the example of like valuing connection- but like, it's just going to be so different for everybody that, like, it's hard to really get into specifics. But yeah, it really can be very, very impactful. And it can also actually really help in terms of having some resilience to diet culture, too. Because, again, like we've talked about a few times, like when we come up against diet culture thoughts, and beliefs, and stuff like that, checking in with our values, and how those things align with our values, is one of the ways that we talk back to that and that we resist being pulled back in. And you know, really, the big thing- the biggest thing- that helps us figure this stuff out is trial and error. It's not pretty, but it's true. We're gonna try stuff and we're not gonna like it. We're gonna try other stuff and we are gonna like it. In a lot of ways, this goes back to the whole redefining failure thing, where trying something and not liking it is not necessarily- like that's not necessarily a bad experience. That's not setting us back in figuring out who we are, and what we want, and all of that. In a lot of ways, trying stuff and not liking it is kind of how we hone in on what we do like. Yeah, it's information. It's information. I

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, yes. I'm a big fan of- this is gonna sound super pessimistic- but I'm a big fan of recognizing what you don't like, in order to find what you do. So yeah. think that's such a big thing within anti diet work and within Intuitive Eating, is recognizing that so much of the stuff that diet culture and, like, you know, dominant culture thinks of as like failure, or as wrong, or any of that stuff is just- like it's information, everything is just information. Yep.

Naomi Katz:

What's interesting is the trial and error stuff might sometimes actually apply to things that we thought we

Sadie Simpson:

Oh heck no. That's a necessity. liked because it fit our diet identity. It's very similar to like how we sometimes convince ourselves that we like certain foods because diet culture says they're good, or whatever. Personally, camping and hiking falls into this for me a lot. I want to want to like it. I really, really do. You know, we live in a place where hiking and camping is a thing that people do. Also, Ben loves it. And I convinced myself forever that I did like it. And I think largely that was because it felt like it was, quote unquote, healthy- that it was aligned with my identity as like healthy, and fit, and whatever. But man, the more I let go of those identities, the more I realized that every time I do it, I like it less. You know, having said that, though, like I said, Ben loves it. And connection is my highest core value. And so we're working on finding ways to do it that I don't hate. And so this kind of also involves looking at that question of like, how can I make this comfortable for myself, like we talked about in the beach body episode. Where like, I used to think that it was cheating to camp with like an air mattress, or, you know, something like that.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, well, turns out I agree. And now, not only do we have an air mattress, but like, we're looking at van options, and stuff like that, to make it more accessible for both of us to enjoy the experience. But again, you know, that required trial and error. That required deconstructing some diet culture narratives, looking at what my values were, and like there was a- there's like a lot that went into figuring out that, like, okay, I don't love this, and part of why I don't love this is because I'm uncomfortable, and I deserve to be comfortable, and so how can we make that happen? Like, it's- it's a lot of deconstructing.

Sadie Simpson:

I went through so many various phases where I attempted to be a runner.

Naomi Katz:

Oh my god. Yes.

Sadie Simpson:

Like, I would do couch to 5k. And then I'm gonna do it for about two weeks. And then I'd try it again, like six months later. So many times, because I was convinced that I had to run, I had to be a runner, I wanted to get outside and run because everybody who ran is fit, and they're cool, and they can do all these marathons. I never wanted to do a marathon. I don't know why I said that. But they just did all these runner things. And that was one of these cold turkey things, unlike disengaging from actual dieting. I can like vividly remember one of the last or the last time I attempted to do couch to 5k. I downloaded the app. And then, like the next day, I deleted the app off my phone and said I'm never running again, done. And I never ran again on purpose.

Naomi Katz:

I love that. That's awesome.

Sadie Simpson:

It is- it's trial and error. It's another- just- there's a million examples that we could talk about of just different things that you just have to try. You just have to hate it, or you just have to love it. You just never know.

Naomi Katz:

Totally. And, you know, there's- there's more to that too. So like, those are examples around like physical activity and stuff like that. But I think a really good example of this is, Ben and I, when we first moved from Boston to North Carolina, we moved to a town called Boone, which is about two hours from where we live in Asheville now. It is a much smaller town. It's- and we lived pretty- we lived like half an hour outside of that town, very rural. And man, we tried to make that work. You know, we- we thought it was what we wanted. We- we thought we wanted to be more rural. We thought we wanted a smaller town. And I have established my core value is connection, and I had a really hard time finding connection in this place. I had a gym that I loved. I worked out all the time. There were many ways in which I could have convinced myself it was the right choice for the wrong reasons. But being able to see that I was in a place where I had no connection to people, and I wasn't feeling that connection, allowed us to make the choice that, like, you know, we should move to Asheville instead. And we've moved here, and found tons of connection, and- and like society, and friends, and, like, it feels like it fits, and all of that stuff. And so, like this plays out in ways that are not directly related to food and exercise also.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

I think- when we talk about like that the big dial mover is trial and error- I think that can sound hard when we're coming from diet culture, where diet culture likes to have an answer for things. You know, diet culture is like one quick trick or one weird trick- like it's very one- it's just- it's a follow these instructions and get to where you're going. But in Intuitive Eating, in life after diets, and all of that stuff, there isn't an answer that someone else can give you. It has to come from internal reflection, and then trial and error. Like that's the really the only way to do it. And then, because some of this is like deep deconstruction and exploration, sometimes it can be helpful to work with a coach or a therapist on this stuff. You know, depending on the level of the deconstruction, sometimes working with somebody who is a licensed therapist is the right choice. But sometimes a coach is the right choice, whether that's a life coach, or a mindset coach, or an Intuitive Eating and anti diet coach. If that is something that you want support in, it is absolutely something that I do support people with within one to one Intuitive Eating and anti diet coaching. And so, you know, again, just a reminder that the waitlist for those three spots that I'm opening at the end of this week is open, and you can access that waitlist in the show notes to get 10% off of any package price, if you decided to sign up.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah.

Naomi Katz:

Life after diets is like not just an easy thing. It's not a- it's not a switch we flip, right? But it is one of the reasons why we always say that ditching diet culture makes our whole lives more satisfying. Because it opens up the time, and the energy, and the mental space for us to explore, like, so many things that are just so much more fulfilling than just diet and exercise. And it allows us to really take the time to get to know ourselves, which is just not part of what we get to do when we're just all wrapped up in diets and diet culture.

Sadie Simpson:

No, I think that's the big piece of all of this is spending the time to get to know ourselves. And honestly, like that's kind of hard when we've been so disengaged from ourselves for so long, because we've been listening to all these outside sources and getting all this outside input. Tuning internally can be a real challenge. So I think it's it's worthwhile to do some of this work to examine who we are outside of diet culture, who we are outside of being a person who is always on a diet, or a person who's always doing a particular exercise program, or whatever. It's- it's a very worthwhile endeavor to kind of dig into examining who am I if I'm not a dieter.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, definitely. So Sadie, what's satisfying for you right now?

Sadie Simpson:

so we just got back from a family trip to the beach. And man, Trey and I had been married for nine years before we had a kid and had been dating and together for a long time before that, and we had gone on many of each trip and just kind of you know, lived our best life had so much fun doing whatever the heck we wanted to do for so long. Basically lounging around on the beach all day without having to cater to a child slash also watching whenever we wanted to on TV without having to watch cartoons or whatever. But in the last five years, going to the beach has just it has been a culture shock because we were not used to what life is like vacationing with a child. And you know, you always hear people say stuff on social media or whatever that whatever. You travel with kids it's it's a trip. It's not a vacation and that is very true. Like you're just relocating to another place but doing the same parenting stuff that you always have to do. But we felt like I feel like this year we were sort of making a turn to where we all three can really enjoy ourselves and enjoy vacation without it feeling like so much work and I I am so satisfied by that, like Trey and I were able to like sit on the beach without having to get up every five seconds. And like we were able to sit for like 30 minutes at a time without having to get up. And that was a huge win for us. Because our kid is older, he can entertain himself, he can play with other kids, it's not so much about safety risk of him escaping. And it was just so satisfying having that feeling of like, okay, we can do this, we can go on vacation, and we can all three have fun. And yes, it was a big turning point in our parenting life.

Naomi Katz:

Oh my god, that's so awesome. Reclaiming vacation a little bit?

Sadie Simpson:

A little bit. I mean, gosh, yes.

Naomi Katz:

That's so awesome. What's satisfying for you right now. So also related to our beach vacation I just got back from so I have a tendency to always be reading something that's like educational or personal development or something that'll help me in my coaching and stuff like that. But every year when we go to the beach, I usually ask on Instagram, and I find and I read fiction. And I usually will read at least one book all the way through while we're on vacation. But because I get so many recommendations, I have a tendency to four weeks after vacation still just be really sucked into fiction reading. And I am totally in that place right now. And I am loving it. It's so it's such a good reminder that I don't always need to be reading for productivity. And I am a person who has loved reading since I was a very small child. Like I started reading really young. And I just have been, I was a voracious reader growing up and like all through my adulthood. And like, really only made that switch to like constantly reading for productivity. When I stopped commuting to and from work and I started my own business. I just sometimes forget how much I love to read for pure pleasure. And so yeah, every year when I come back to that for a little while, it's just like, it's such a wonderful refresh.

Sadie Simpson:

Oh my gosh, I love that. I can't tell you the last time I read a fiction book for pleasure. And I like I used to love to read to Gosh, it's been I have no idea when it was but you're you're kind of inspiring me to go to the library and get some fiction books and read them because yes, that sounds so great.

Naomi Katz:

Yeah, it's it's a good time. Awesome. So if you would like to get in touch with us and let us know what your version of life after diets looks like we would love to hear that. So you can come get in contact with us over on Instagram at satisfaction factor pod. And just you know, let us know what all this deconstructing and work and like how life looks different for you after diets.

Sadie Simpson:

Yeah, and if you would like to support us and you're listening in either Apple podcasts or Spotify be sure to leave us a rating and review because this is what helps boost us up in the podcast rankings and allows us to reach more people.

Naomi Katz:

That's it for us this week. Talk to you next week.