Ep 23 🔫Armed & Dangerous⚠️ : 🐴The Phantom Ranch Ranger🤠

The Grand Canyon is a place of connecting with nature, finding one’s center, and in this rare account, airing one’s grievances. In 1968, newlywed and rookie Park Ranger Mel Heaton was tasked with an impossible undertaking…to disarm 5 hostile men…by himself.

CHARACTERS (in order of appearance)
García López de Cárdenas
Alonso de Cárdenas
Francisco Vázquez de Coronado
Pedro de Tovar
Pedro de Sotomayor
Pablo de Melgrossa
Juan Galeras
Hopi Guides
Irvine Cob
Henry Long
Clarence Dutton
John Wesley Powell
Havasupai
Ralph H. Cameron
David Rust
President Theodore Roosevelt
Henry Harvey
Mary Jane Colter
Spanish Conquistador
Martin Luther King Jr
Robert F. Kennedy
Park Ranger Mel Heaton
Federal Marshal
Jesus
Apollo 8 Crew
Frank Borman
James Lovell
William Anders
Apollo 11
John F. Kennedy

LOCATIONS
Llerena, Corona de Castilla
La Puebla del Maestre
River Tizón
Cíbola
Zuñi, New Mexico
Tower of Seville, the Giralda
Spain
Öngtupqa
Colorado River
The Grand Canyon
Phantom Ranch
Garden Creek
Indian Garden
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Santa Fe Railroad
Bright Angel Trail
Grand Canyon South Rim
Vietnam
France
Czechoslovakia
Russia
North Kaibab Trail
Moccasin, Arizona
The River House
Pipe Creek Rest House
FBI Park Ranger Training
Silver Suspension Bridge
South Kaibab Trail
Grand Canyon North Rim
California
Florida
Moon

LINKS
https://youtu.be/4JjADNAn5g4

CREDITS
Based on an account written By Carolyn Heaton Grygla
Wild West Whistling Duel, Copyright 2013 Iwan Gabovitch, CC-BY3 license

Transcript

1 🎙 García López de Cárdenas was born in Llerena, Corona de Castilla, second son to Alonso de Cárdenas, 1st Count of La Puebla del Maestre. 

Garcia, as a Spanish conquistador, was attached to the exploits of Francisco Vázquez de Coronado. Expeditions, including one led by Pedro de Tovar, had heard reports of a large river (named Tizon) northwest of Cíbola (which is 13 miles south of modern day Zuñi, NM). 

Cárdenas was dispatched in September 1540 by the General stationed in Cíbola…with the express mission of locating such a river and returning within 80 days. Pedro de Sotomayor accompanied him to record the event as a cronista (or historical chronicler). After some twenty days of marching in a northwesterly direction, Lopez was successful; 

2 🎙 (Garcia) Alright, lets set up base camp here for the night. Tomorrow we’ll commence explorations. And Pablo de Melgrossa, i want you and Juan Galeras aaaaand you to go into the canyon and find a route to the River Tizon. Get some rest, from the looks of it, you’re gonna need it. Si Garcia

(Soldier) “Senor Cárdenas, we need water, the descent is so precarious. We might have made it a third of the way down. We are battling sheer Ledges and vertical drop offs, and rocks that are bigger than the great tower of Seville, the Giralda. Lo siento, No es posible Senor”

3🎙 Its more than likely that the Hopi guides knew routes to the canyon floor, Their reluctance to lead these foreigners to the river is understandable. There’s a greater chance of them taking these conquistadors on a hunting expedition for Jackalopes. After 3 days Garcia’s band found difficulties in reaching the River Tizon owing to the sheer vertical distance down from their position. Tizón, is a word for "firebrand", and was the common term in Spain for sword. The River Tizon flowed at the bottom of an unimaginably massive expanse of ravines, gorges, gullies and chasms. The locals referred to this location as: Öngtupqa (ungtoopka)

The men of Cárdenas were suffering from dehydration and After several days of failed attempts to descend to the River Tizon, known today as the Colorado River, his party was forced to return to Cíbola. García López de Cárdenas is the first known European to see the Grand Canyon.

No Europeans visited the canyon again for more than two hundred years.

4 🎙 With Millions of years of geological history, and thousands of years of human settlements…the Grand Canyon is now more than just a spectacle or a place to call home, it is one of the wonders of the modern world. But everyone experiences it differently. 

For example:

(Typing sounds) Irvine Cob of the Saturday evening post wrote, “you can stand their gazing down the raw, red gulett of that great gosh awful gorge, and you feel your self-importance shriveling up to nothing inside you.“ 

(Writing sounds) The south western writer Henry Long said the Grand Canyon gave him a kind of “cosmic vertigo” and made him feel seasick and sleepless.

Even Clarence Dutton, the topographical engineer with the Powell survey in 1880, and a man who processed geological information better than almost anybody, used words like “dread”, “awe”, “shock”, “oppression”, “horror” to describe the initial sensation of gazing out over that sudden void, that sabertooth Jackelope of the mind.

Stegner, Page (1994). Grand Canyon, The Great Abyss. HarperCollins. p. 25. ISBN 978-0-06-258564-6.

5 🎙 Have you ever been to the heart of the Grand Canyon? García López de Cárdenas with his limited supplies was not able to travel there, or bathe in the River Tizon. What a pity. The heart of the Grand Canyon lies at a place called Phantom Ranch. 

The trail that Garcia couldn’t locate was originally built by the Havasupai people for access to the perennial water source of present-day Garden Creek. The Havasupai settled seasonally in this area, now known as Indian Garden (or Indian Gardens). 

Ralph H. Cameron settled on the canyon rim in 1890 and began improving the old Havasupai trail. It was at this time that the trail was extended all the way to the Colorado River.

Phantom Ranch turns 100 this year. This particular area first gained attention as a tourist camp in 1902 when David Rust begin the planting of fruit trees and cottonwoods and the building of a camp for visitors. In 1913 President Theodore Roosevelt stayed at the camp during a hunting trip to the north rim.

In 1922, the Henry Harvey company commissioned Pittsburgh native and architect Mary Jane Colter to redesign the area.

Because of the difficulty of bringing supplies to the canyon ranch, which hasn’t changed over the years, Mary used native stones and rough cut timbers and other local materials in construction. Many of her buildings are in use today.

Now over the years there have been thousands of visitors to Phantom Ranch. Initially it was only the well-to-do and elite who were able to afford that ticket over the Santa Fe railroad and then traverse the windy canyon trail by private accommodations to visit the heart of the Grand Canyon.

Today one can only get to Phantom Ranch by raft, by foot, or by mule. 

Now of those three options, Two-thirds of those who make the trek to Phantom ranch arrive on foot down the Bright Angel Trail. Which is a 13 mile windy canyon descent from the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. If you’ve ever made that trek, just know that you’ve done something a Spanish conquistador was unable to do. Now dont that make your sore feet feel better?

Atmosphere in 1968

6 🎙 Do you remember 1968, well I dont. But if you look it up you’ll see that it was a bit of a tumultuous year. 

1968 was the year of assassinations , protests, invasions, and lunar landmarks. 

1968 had a timeline of anger, grief and change.

With each week, it seemed, came another shock, another tragedy. 

In January and February problems enflamed in Vietnam

In April Martin Luther King jr assassinated

In May France falls into unrest and turmoil 

In June Robert F Kennedy is assassinated

In August Czechoslovakia is invaded by Russia

Of all the visitors to the heart of the Grand Canyon in 1968, there were a few ne’er-do-wells who quickly became infamous. And this is their story.

Sierra = South Rim District
November = North Rim District
Canyon = Inner Canyon District
India = Indian Springs Ranger Station Ranger

7 🎙 Ranger Mel Heaton was stationed at Phantom ranch that scorching summer of 1968. Married only a couple months prior he was anticipating a quiet summer with good pay…good enough to justify driving around the canyon to get home. The North Kaibab trails had been washed out with the winter runoff and spring rains, so they was closed. The only trails open to Phantom Ranch that summer were from the south rim. Which for Mel meant a 3 hour drive the long way around to his little town of Moccasin, Arizona. 

(Hot sounds, ravens, birds chirping, drinking water, deep breathing, creek nearby, creaky chair, crinkly bag, walking on wooden floor)

“Canyon 410, this is Sierra 100”

(Mel) “I could sure go for a snow cone today. Anything over 110 is just…well nothing good comes of it as far as i can tell.” 

“Canyon 410, this is Sierra 100 Do you have a copy?”

(Mel) huh whoever’s got 410 today is gonna be in trouble

“Canyon 410…..ah heck with protocol…..Ranger Mel Heaton, where the hell are you? We got a situation!”

(Mel) “Oh crap thats me!” 

(Mel clears throat)(talks into radio) “Canyon 410 go ahead Sierra”

“Canyon 410 where have y….never mind…Mel we got trouble.”

(Mel) Sierra 100, Im sorry, I was just eating a sandwich and didn’t realize…It wont happen again.”

“No…. not that kind of trouble”

“Whew, whatever it is, im sure I can handle it.”

(Sierra) “Five men with guns headed your way”, the voice clarified.  

(Mel talking softly to himself) “That’s one way to get a reservation at Phantom Ranch”

(Mel talking into the radio) “Can you repeat that…actually id rather not hear that again. (Clears throat) “Is that against the law?”

(Mel talking softly to himself) Maybe they’re afraid of rattlesnakes. 

(Sierra) “Canyon 410 Hikers reported that they were threatened at Indian Gardens”…More static….“hikers reported incident to the Ranger Station as soon as they were on the Rim”.

(Mel talking into radio) “Sierra 100 Did they just threaten? Or did they actually…..?” he asked. 

(Sierra) “Affirmative, no shootings… yet.  Just threats. They were putting guns under their chins and asking the hikers if they believed in Jesus.  The people didn’t know whether to answer yes or no.  They were terrified.”

(Mel talking to himself) Well aint that some point blank proselytizing 

(Mel talking into radio) “Sierra 100 What do you want me to do? You know I’m a posse of one today.”   

(Sierra 100) Mel, they’re coming your direction now, we need you to take away their guns.”  

(Mel talking softly to himself) “I’ll bet you do, would you like French fries with that?”

(Sierra 100) “we’re stopping any further hikers until this is resolved.”  

(Mel) “Okay”…..“Do I answer YES or NO if they ask me the Jesus question? What’s the safe consensus?”

(Sierra) We’ll be there to back up soon as we can.  Stay in touch.”                                                              

(Mel) “Canyon 410 clear”

8 🎙 (Mel) well that can’t be right (tap tap tap) 114 degrees Fahrenheit.

(Mel) “Canyon 320 Indian Gardens, this is Canyon 410 you got a copy?”

(IG Maint.) “Loud and clear Canyon 410, is that you Mel?” 

(Mel) “10-4 its me, Can you give me a location on these 5 guys that are just north of you.” 

(IG Maint) “Sure thing. Lemme get on top of the water tank with my radio and I’ll get you their location.” 

(Mel talking to himself) This might go against all odds, but Ill be danged if I wanna engage in a Phantom Ranch shootout in this blistering heat. I dont wanna be famous for that. Just gonna leave this gun here in the desk. 

(IG Maint) Canyon 410, this is Canyon 320 at Indian Gardens…I can see em. They are headed your way…Still on Bright Angel Trail…over.

(Mel) Thanks Canyon 320…I’m clear

9 🎙 There was no radio signal where Mel was going, so he set the radio on the desk…. Without weapon or communication Mel set off for a location the rangers refer to as “the River House”….located at the base of the Bright Angel Trail. 

Today the River House is known as the Pipe Creek Rest House, and It was there he figured he would have the best chance to confront, apprehend, arrest, detain, whatever. Honestly he didn’t know what he was gonna do. Or even what he could do. This scenario wasn’t covered in the FBI’s Ranger Training he had received with the rest of the new recruits at the south rim. His federal firearms carry permit wouldn’t be of any use today.

It was about a 15 minute hike to the River House. Mel crossed the silver suspension bridge, and hurried towards the bottom of the Bright Angel Trail where he came across a few exhausted hikers whom he gave vague details that there was a “situation” and they needed to go directly Phantom Ranch.

Mel stood there at the River House looking over the sandy beach and cool Colorado river, then looked behind him up the trail, he had a distinct impression to hide out in the rocks to the east of the beach at the rivers edge. 

(Mel softly talking to himself) “I wonder if I should just….Hide behind the rocks? Oh yeah, boulders are stronger than bullets…good idea.” 

(Heavy breathing and heart beat sounds)

“Calm down Mel, You got this…..Good grab its hotter than a $2 pistol down here today. Heck of a day for a shootout. This job aint worth taking a bullet for, especially in this heat. I’d probably die from a heat stroke before I could bleed out. I wonder if one way a dying is better than the other. Guess Id rather not find out.”

(Drunk raucous laughter in the distance) Here we go…them boys sound sauced up. I just hope they are as hot as I am. 

(Gunman 1) Alright. Praise Jesus. Im feeling sun blitzed. Time to cop a squat in this chill river water. 

(Gunman 3) Hey dudes put your guns and clothes on this rock. That hike was a drag. Lets swim for a bit. 

(Gunman 2) Friggin, Far out, This feels groovy on my tired feet.   

(Cheering and shouting, they jumped into the cool river water.)

(Mel whispering to himself) “here goes something…”

Mel darted out from behind the boulder, and in one quick motion scooped up all of the guns.  The men in the water froze, mouths agape. 

(Mel) “Hi boys. Had a bit of fun on your way down didnt you? You can pick these up from the Federal Marshall on the South Rim”, 

Mel beat a hasty retreat to the Ranger Station, (running) where he continued to keep an eye on the now gun-less desperadoes.  

(Mel talking to himself) Looks like they werent bluffing. (Dumping ammo out) Just gonna unload these and lock em away. 

…gonna put my own gun back on now. 

(Gun noises)

Oh, i almost forgot…

He pushed the signal on his radio set.  “Sierra 100, this is Canyon 410…I got the guns…over” 

(Sierra 100) “how?”

(Mel) “Just waited until they went swimming”, he said, “it’s a pretty hot day down here.” 

(Sierra 100) “Roger that” (static) “I don’t know what to say, except...good job.  The rangers should be there any minute”.  

(Mel) “Thanks, things are pretty quiet now.  I’ll drop the guns off on my way out”, said Mel, “I don’t think these guys are going to be giving us any more trouble…Canyon 410 clear”.  He disconnected.

10 🎙 Mel walked out to the porch and could see the shaggy-haired quintet slowly making their way from the river, across the silver bridge and towards Phantom Ranch.  He saw them come sulking in and followed them to the ranch porch where they were drinking Cokes. 

As the men glared at him Mel noticed that One of them stood at least 8” taller than Mel. He was scruffy, dark, and significantly larger than this rookie ranger. But Mel had the only firearm now. 

(Walking towards Mel)

(Mel whispering to himself) “All right here we go”. 

“Do you believe in Jesus?” the man demanded loudly. 

“Yes I do”

“Well its been a real treat getting to meet you fellas.” 

“I don’t expect that you boys want to spend your time at the Grand Canyon in jail, so I wouldn’t bring any more attention to yourselves if I were you. (Silence) Good choice.” 

(Mel) Here come the replacements

(Replacement Ranger 1) Mel, you ok? What the heck? How did you…?

(Mel) aaaw, it was nothing. Just on a hot streak of good luck I guess.

Much relieved that an armed standoff had been averted , the overheated rangers took off their hiking boots and plunged into the rock lined pool.  

11 🎙 Mel threw the pistols and ammo into his backpack atop his pile of things, and set out at a steady trot up the south Kaibab trail. This small town country boy, turned gun slinging park ranger, had done his share of hiking in his 25 years of life up to this point, he’d eventually trek from south to north rims a total of 26 times. With his best time being 6.5 hours. On this summer afternoon in his eagerness to get home to his new bride he topped out on the south rim in 90 minutes. Which he had done more than once. When he climbed out onto the rim his mountain goat hiking abilities were far overshadowed by the arsenal he delivered to the Federal Marshal. 

(Ranger 1) Good Laws Mel. 

(Ranger 2) What kind of magic trick did you pull? 

(Ranger 1 ) I just cant believe you did this without even a shot fired. 

(Mel) Just a hot streak of good luck I guess. Or something…Look…I gotta hit the road. Good luck with those fellas. I hope they just skin out without incident. 

The slight sense of awe in the air was making this preferradly behind the scenes ranger uncomfortable, so he headed out the door, and across the parking lot to his light green Chevy chevelle.  

“Take a look at the VW bus over in the corner”, called the ranger who had been handling the crisis from the rim.  “It belongs to your outlaws….California…..go figure”. 

Mel threw the backpack into the car, and pulled out.  He paused to take a look at the dirty and dented VW bus.  There were peace signs painted on it in various nondescript colors, with a bumper sticker proclaiming that “ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU” next to a dusty California license plate (must be more force than by faith). There was something that looked like a dried out rat hanging from the rearview mirror.  Mel looked closer.  It was a rat.  He thought it might be good to steer clear of whatever religion those rough looking boys were preaching.  

Ranger Mel Heaton was sure glad his shift ended WITHOUT a bang. 

(Truck door closing, startup, into gear, drives off)

12 🚀 🎙 Not everything that happened in 1968 was tumultuous, tragic, or inclusive of misled pistol packin Jesus freaks. It just so happens that on Christmas Day in 1968 the world watched the MOST broadcast television program ever. 

In the time it took the exploration party of García López de Cárdenas to attempt ascent in reaching the depths of the Grand Canyon, the crew of the Apollo 8 spacecraft flew from Florida…to the Moon. In the next 20 hours of their flight they would orbit the moon several times. 

The world came together for one transcendent moment that December of 1968, the United States accomplished something that no other human had ever done in history, a spaceship was launched into outer space, Frank Borman, James Lovell, and William Anders crewed a spacecraft that left low earth orbit, it was the first human spaceflight to reach another astronomical object, and that object, the moon, was orbited 10 times.

It wasn’t just network ratings that were shattered that day. It was also the first time humans ever witnessed…and photographed….an Earthrise. 

Apollo 8's successful mission paved the way for Apollo 11 to fulfill U.S. president John F. Kennedy's goal of landing a man on the Moon before the end of the decade.

(President Kennedy’s words)…

It just so happens…that 1968 played a vital role in helping to propel the late President Kennedy’s out of this world aspiration, into reality…

(President Kennedy’s Man on the Moon before the end of the decade)

Excelling, and inviting others to look up to that example, is always a better way to get folks to look to the Heavens, to look to the moon and beyond, to come to Jesus. No Pistols required. 

“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”