233: "I'm Just a Volunteer" Might Feel Safer. But It's a Myth.

"I'm just a volunteer."

That one phrase - one we've all heard and many of us have said - reveals a bigger problem than we realize. 

In this episode, we're talking about what happens when churches concentrate growth, development, and learning into a handful of people while everyone else is expected to simply help. We'll explore why healthy churches aren't built by a few highly developed leaders.

In this episode, we're talking about:

1. Why "I'm just a volunteer" may reveal a deeper belief
2. The hidden cost of reserving growth for a few people
3. Why staying small can feel safer than growing
4. How healthy churches develop people, not just leaders
5. What happens when more people learn, grow, and take ownership

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Transcript

​[00:00:00] 

Laurie Graham Ertl: Hey, hey, welcome back to the Small Church Ministry podcast. We're all about serving, leading, and building healthier churches with the very real people that we are. Busy lives, lots going on, most of us bi-vocational, volunteering with other things that take up a lot more of our time, and still, we love the Church.

We love Jesus. We believe that the Church is important, that it is the hub of transformation, or at least it should be, and that's what we talk about here. So this month is a little special, because Small Church Ministry is celebrating six years. Starting last week and over the next couple, I'm [00:01:00] sharing some things that I believe really, really strongly.

It's fun just to be able to say, "Hey, this is what we believe. This is why we're here." Last week, we talked about influence, and we talked about how the future of the Church isn't sitting necessarily in the pastor's office, that influence is a lot more distributed than we realize. And today, I wanna go a little bit deeper into something, and I think that many churches have accidentally or unintentionally created a bit of a hidden hierarchy, in some places not so hidden, and not necessarily a hierarchy of power, but more a hierarchy of growth or development or a hierarchy of who gets equipped, at least that's what I wanna talk about today. 

One of the clues is a phrase that many of us had heard over and over again for years, which is, "I am just a volunteer." And every time I hear it, I think, "Oh, no," because I don't believe that. And I think sometimes when we hear the phrase, "I'm just a volunteer," or we even say the [00:02:00] phrase, "I'm just a volunteer," we think about that being related to humility or what we have to offer, but there's something much deeper in that, and there is a belief in there, and I believe it's costing us and our churches a lot more than we realize.

Because the problem isn't that people think they matter less. I think the bigger problem is that we've started acting like it. And there's a couple layers to this, so we're gonna talk about the Church, and we're also gonna talk about us, us as people, us as the volunteers. But again, that phrase, "I'm just a volunteer," have you ever had an idea, and kept it to yourself because you assumed the leaders had a different track or they knew what they were doing? Or maybe you thought nobody really needs to hear or maybe even wants my opinion. 

Maybe you've decided that something isn't your responsibility, because it's not my responsibility to fix that or, to lean into that because that's, " I'm just a [00:03:00] volunteer. I'm not on the elder board. I'm not in a staff position." Or maybe we wait for somebody else to solve the problem, and this is exactly what happens. Most of us would never say, "I don't matter"- Most of us would never say they don't matter, but we might say things like, "I'm just helping," or, "I'm just teaching the kids," or, "I'm just a greeter," or, "I'm just running slides. I'm not in charge. I'm just a volunteer." And honestly, I think the word just does two things. First off, it minimizes our significance, and second off, it releases us from responsibility. Because if I'm just a volunteer, I don't need to speak up, and I don't need to grow, and I don't need to learn new skills, 'cause I'm just a volunteer. Or I don't need to have the difficult conversations or address the [00:04:00] elephant in the room because I'm just a volunteer. Or I don't need to help solve the problems because I'm just a volunteer. Now, maybe when you heard me mention hierarchy at the beginning of the podcast, you might have thought this podcast was about the hierarchy that, that the people at the top create, keeping people just volunteers, because we have talked about that before, it happens. 

But I'm really talking about two layers here. Sometimes we keep ourselves as volunteers because it feels safer. Do you know what I'm talking about? Now, maybe this is you, and maybe you're a church leader or the pastor, and this is a really great thing for you to understand or to see or to have a little empathy for.

Because if I can call myself just a volunteer, it does feel safer. Growth is uncomfortable. Different, difficult situations is uncomfortable. Difficult conversations is uncomfortable. Responsibility is [00:05:00] uncomfortable. Influence is uncomfortable. Most people doint- don't avoid growth because they're lazy. Most people avoid growth because it asks more from us, and we might already be spent.

Please hear me on this. Like, offering growth to everybody doesn't mean that everybody's gonna take it. We have busy lives, every single one of us, whether you're a pastor, ministry leader, or you call yourself just a volunteer. But the same belief that protects us from responsibility often keeps us from significance, too.

I wanna say that again. The same belief that protects us from responsibility often keeps us from significance, too. Now, if you have anything in your heart or your mind or even on the back of your neck with your hair standing up that says, "No, this has been an unhealthy place for me. Church leadership is something I'm trying to avoid on purpose because of my experiences in the past," [00:06:00] I know, understand, and have experienced my own, and I would say a lot, of dysfunction in churches.

We talk about this throughout so many things we do at Small Church Ministry. In fact, we have a pastors conference coming up on July, is it 25th, 26th? I can't remember the date, but it's a Saturday. Watch for it. Registration will open right after the Fourth holiday weekend. But we talk about healthier church cultures, and we believe we can get healthier.

We believe that serving as a leader or a ministry team member in a church can be healthy, and exciting, and fun, and encouraging, and an opportunity for growth, and friendship, and family-type relationships. We believe this because we've seen it. But if we don't participate in it, we don't have a chance to change that or to benefit from it.

And, you know, one of the things [00:07:00] about being just a volunteer, like, one of the, I don't know, maybe unseen parts is yes, a lot of us participate in it, right? You know, maybe we've had church hurt, and we stay back, and we just wanna be a volunteer, or maybe we don't believe we have the potential to give more than that.

Like, there's so much on a continuum here. But I also wanna talk about the fact that our churches often reinforce this belief, and this is where if you're a leader, if you're a pastor, if you're part of the church system in any way, we've got to think about it because this isn't just an individual problem.

It's a church culture problem. So many times I've heard pastors or leaders or people who are, like, those core members of the church, the people in the church who are holding it up, those volunteers, blaming consumer Christians or people sitting in the pews, and we blame them for being just a volunteer or not serving at all.

But I wanna tell you, I believe our systems reinforce that. It's not just an [00:08:00] individual problem. It's also a church system problem, so both and, not one or, the other. So let's talk about this development gap because this is something I have noticed not just in six years of serving small churches through Small Church Ministry, but honestly through decades of being involved in churches.

Many churches do pretty good at developing leaders. Like, a lot of churches have a leadership development plan, or they have staff meetings where it's not just paid staff but, like, they call every ministry leader a staff, and you get together for trainings. Um, the leaders at the top, maybe they get to go to a conference now and then.

Many churches do a pretty good job developing leaders. But most do a terrible job at developing people. People, all the people. Like, think about who gets equipped typically in most churches. Who gets training? Who gets a budget to buy books? Who even just gets [00:09:00] the books out of their own pocket because they've been encouraged to?

Who gets conferences? Who gets coaching? Usually, if anyone does, it's the pastor. It's the staff. It's the ministry leaders. It's the people at the top. If you picture a church with a pyramid with people at the top where there's less people at the top, just like a pyramid, than there are at the bottom, I wanna flip this upside down.

Now, the pastors, the staff, the ministry leaders, they are so important. They matter. The coaching and training and development that they get, it matters. I am not criticizing that or trying to lower that. But here is my question: What opportunities exist for everyone else? Now, let's be fair, as I mentioned earlier, even if opportunities exist, it doesn't mean that everyone takes them.

Growth asks something of us. It asks for time and energy and vulnerability. Oh, anytime you're learning a new [00:10:00] skill, I go through this all the time, with my businesses and so many other things. But, like, when we grow, when we wanna learn something, when we declare we're gonna learn something or commit to it, it takes so much vulnerability, 'cause there's always a chance we're gonna fail.

Growth asks a lot of us, and not everybody wants that. Now, I actually believe we all do want that in different moments and different seasons, but we may not want it at the same time. But I want you to know that there's a lot of children's volunteers who want to be better teachers. They struggle with it.

They want to understand child development better. They wanna understand how to speak to a parent better. There are a lot of small group leaders who would love to facilitate better conversations to get better participation. And I know 1,000% there are tons of worship team members who want better skills, whether it's communicating, speaking out loud from the stage, or even in their instruments, their actual ability to play and sing better.

There [00:11:00] are tons of people who call themselves just volunteers who struggle with conflict, whether it's avoiding it or confronting it too harshly or ineffectively. There are church members who wanna become healthier emotionally. Like, where do we go for this? Does the pastor in a small church, let me just say this.

Does the pastor have time to help in all these situations? Do they even have the expertise necessarily in all these situations? I have known pastors who've come to us and said, "Okay, I don't even know what to do when the youth leader says they need help. I don't know kids. I don't know youth. I don't know neurodivergency."

Do not think that your pastor is unwilling to help when, first off, they may not have the skill set, but second off, they are doing so much. In a small church where there's not a staff that has a separate person that handles community and outreach and pastoral counseling and all sorts of things.[00:12:00] 

Sometimes people say, "The pastor doesn't care that I need help." No, I don't think that's typically the truth. I think the truth is, is they don't have time, and sometimes they don't have the knowledge base, and they don't have the energy or the capacity to hold up every area of ministry. That's why the church exists. That's why individuals exist. So why do we keep pouring into the pastor's growth, not saying it's not important, please hear me, but at the expense of anyone else growing in their skills? The pastor is still expected to keep growing, of course, and they should. They should. This message isn't anti-pastor. It's not anti-leadership. This is pro-development of all people. This is pro-growth for everyone. This is pro-people at every layer. And honestly, what I'm talking about supports the pastor in such a beautiful, upholding way that we're not just holding up the pastor's arms. Like I love that picture from the Old Testament, I really do.

Okay? [00:13:00] You know, where you have these two people holding up the arms, right? But when the pastor doesn't have to do and manage and deal with every element, elephant in the room because the people who serve with them in different areas know how, can do it effectively without calling the, you know, the five alarm fire, "I need you, Pastor, I need you, Pastor. I need you, Pastor," one of the easiest ways to create an unhealthy dependency is to concentrate learning into a handful of people We have done that in most of our churches. Healthy churches don't just develop leaders. They develop people, all people. And honestly, this truth is one of the reasons that Small Church Ministry even exists.

Six years ago, I had a question I couldn't stop asking, and it wasn't how do we get more volunteers, how do we recruit better, or how do we get pastors [00:14:00] to do better or to do more? The question was: how do we broaden ministry development for everyone, for volunteers, not just the few people who can get away to a conference or start pursuing a degree in ministry?

How do we broaden ministry development? Like, if everyone is far more capable for growth, and they are, than they have been told to expect, either from their own hearts or from other people, how do we get them there? Like, what would happen if four people in your small church were developing serious, effective ministry skills, or 20 people were growing in empathy and good conversational skills or the ability to resolve conflict instead of just calling it out and telling somebody they don't belong here?

What if people who were leading meetings at your church, whether it was elders, ministry leaders, committee heads, what if all of these [00:15:00] people who led a meeting knew how to structure meetings and plan them so that they were participative and impactful, so that people actually wanted to come and gather instead of leaving saying, "Well, that's another hour I can't get back in my life," " All the meetings that could happen in emails?"

What if all the people who led meetings or gave announcements at your church were skilled at this, and the things that we did led to transformation? What if Sunday school teachers really understood child development and neural diversity and tips to engage all the kids, even those who are bouncing off the walls? And small group leaders not only learned great facilitation skills, but what if small group leaders also learned how to develop the next small group leader without the pastor having to start a campaign for developing small group leaders? Can you imagine, like, if ordinary people were skilled in communication and facilitation and emotional health and volunteer leadership and even their [00:16:00] own life management of boundaries and capacity and knowing how to be healthy?

Like, can you imagine a church, where everyone on the elder board knows how to facilitate productive conversations and they honor all the voices in the room, including the pastors. Where ministry leaders know how to navigate conflict before it becomes a drama. They don't have to involve another leader. They actually get it. Or a church where people know how to disagree without causing a stink or leaving the church. All these things, not because the pastor got better, or you got a new pastor, or you got more people in who knew what they were doing, but because the people who are there got better. Like, can you imagine this?

The healthiest churches that I have seen, hands down, have not been the ones with the most talented [00:17:00] pastor, and I have seen a lot of talented pastors. The healthiest churches that I've seen are the ones with the most growing people, the ones who invite people into more growth, the ones who are training up lay leaders, not as just a volunteer, but as people who are becoming the potential that God created us all to have.

Do you know that every single one of us can learn skills to speak better publicly? Every single person in your church, including the one who only comes on Christmas and Easter, can learn skills in empathy and caring for people, in hospital visitation, in facilitating groups, in giving announcements. These aren't gifts we're just born with. They're skills. And six years later, after starting Small Church Ministry, I believe this more strongly than [00:18:00] ever, that growth shouldn't be reserved for pastors or staff or people with titles, that growth shouldn't be giving someone a title. Like, a lot of times we think we've graduated because we got a title.

I don't think that's our graduation. The healthiest churches are not built by a few highly developed people. Now, I want you just to consider that because oftentimes we think of the most highly developed skillful people in our churches being the ones who have the mic or are on the platform or are the ministry leaders, and I just wanna say this is not how healthy churches are built.

Healthy churches are built by lots of growing people. I have been in church situations where there is an elder, a volunteer, somebody on hospitality, somebody on a security team, even in a small church, who honestly are some of the most developed people in the church. Title and development should not [00:19:00] be equal, should never be equated I have been in churches where the person who facilitates the healthiest conversations is actually mentoring the pastor a little bit in how to respond in a way that leaves people less defensive, and it's not seen as a stepping on my toes or overstepping.

No pastor, no leader, no one person has all the skills. This is the beauty of the body of Christ, is that all of us have something to offer to each other. It's not just top-down, and I believe this is 1,000% biblical. I understand authority, I understand submission to authority, I understand leadership, and I understand that every single one of us has incredibly more value than most of us give credit to [00:20:00] The reality that every single person is my superior in some way.

I really believe that. If you're the pastor, do you believe that every single person in your congregation or in your community in some way is your superior? I know roles are different. I know responsibilities are different. But can we help people develop healthy? 'Cause even though we all have skills and talents and things that are like, this beautiful thing that could be developed, we also have all these things that are bad about us or harmful or we haven't developed in a different way.

I don't mean bad about us like shameful, I just mean things that are skill areas to develop, things that we stink at. Like, maybe somebody has this beautiful way of communicating, but they're incredibly impatient. Can we help them develop? No. Maybe they're not ready to be in a leadership position, a role, but that doesn't diminish their value I [00:21:00] really believe if we develop the people in our midst, in our family groups, in our small churches right now, the impact would be far greater than finding more volunteers.

Can we please stop thinking that's what we need? Like, what if God really has provided everything you need to do exactly what He wants you to do right now? What if that includes the people? What if we don't have to wait for more volunteers? What if the idea is to develop the people that God has put in front of us?

This is hands down the main number one reason that we have spent the last six years developing, building, and making the small church network better. The Small Church Network is a community of people who say, "We wanna be a light in our small churches. We wanna develop. We wanna grow. We wanna reach the potential that God has for us."[00:22:00] 

And it's not mostly pastors. It's mostly volunteers. It's a children's teacher who's been teaching for years. It's somebody who's in charge of their church vitality, like renewal committee. It's someone who's 70 and someone who's 35 and someone who's 50 who's been in ministry for a long time. It's someone brand new that just got handed the children's ministry position and is saying, "I don't even know where to start."

Some people joined last month who had come to our Burnout Recovery event, and they wanna get healthier. These are mostly people who would've said, "I'm just a volunteer," who don't believe they are just a volunteer before If you have never tried the network, the Small Church Network, you've never joined it, this is totally your time. This is it.

Let me tell you what I've seen happen over the past couple years. Honestly, somebody just quit a ministry that they've been in, [00:23:00] that no one was allowing them to quit, that they never should have been in, to start something new that they're so excited about and already picking up traction.

I've watched pastors and their spouses get completely renewed and change the culture of their church from a culture where they expected the pastor to do everything, to a culture where people are developing ownership, taking ownership, being supportive, and learning new skills to lead things. I've seen people in our Small Church Network learn boundaries and staying in ministry when they thought they were gonna quit 'cause they were so burnt out.

But they learned how to communicate differently and are even changing their church culture because of what they're modeling. I have seen so many before and after stories. When I get on coaching calls with people in the network, sometimes I just smile and I say, "Do you remember how you used to come to these calls?

Like, you were stressed out and anxious all the time, and now you're [00:24:00] helping to coach other people who are exactly where you were." These are people who would have said, "I'm just a volunteer I think one of the most favorite things that I've loved watching happen are people who used to avoid conflict or kinda shy back, and now they're leading the difficult conversations in a way that builds better relationships, that preserves relationships, instead of calling people on the carpet and dismissing them.

They're literally teaching their church leadership through modeling, not through taking over, not through stepping on toes, but they're teaching skills in their churches to everyone because of what they're learning and what they're practicing. It's not because of a title. It's because they grew. And that's what six years of Small Church Ministry and the Small Church Network has taught me, that growth changes people and growing people changes churches.

So [00:25:00] let me just briefly tell you about the Small Church Network. It is one of our paid products. So if you've followed us for a while, you know 90% of what we put out there is free, and it is excellent. I tell people all the time who come to our online events, and they're like, "I have never been to an event this good in person or online."

And I'm like, "Yep, and this was free. Can you imagine what we give if you pay?" So one month in the network is typically $29. We have a special deal going on right now. But I want you to know what happens in one month, because in one month, you can experience three different group coaching calls every single month.

You have an opportunity to get on a group, group coaching call, three different ones. There's one practical ministry masterclass every single month, and it is practical, it is hands-on, it has an application, and it has a resource with it that's not just for you, but we also talk about that transfer energy or learning to your church or your ministry team.

So we teach you how to take it back and share it with your ministry [00:26:00] partner or your team teacher or your pastor or your ministry team or your leadership team if you are the pastor. There's also a live Q&A where you can bring real situations and real questions and get real-time advice right now for exactly what you're looking for.

It's individual help in a single month. I just had somebody reach out to me through a Facebook message and she's like, "You know, I really need your advice on this," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, "Listen, there's only so much advice I could give through Facebook message. But if you wanna join the network, even for one month, just for one month and then quit, you literally have an opportunity to get on three coaching calls, not just hear from me, but for other people who've been in ministry a long time.

You'll get a masterclass that you can apply and take back to your church. You'll get a Q&A. You have a members-only community with other people who are like you and committed to growth, individual feedback and support, new friendships, new connection in just one month." All of that happens every single month. Growth shouldn't be reserved just for pastors and ministry leaders.[00:27:00] 

Most of the people in the Small Church Network who pay out of their own pocket because they want personal growth. They just wanna learn, and they're transforming themselves and their churches because they are.

Okay, so here's our anniversary offer. I mentioned this is our sixth anniversary celebrating Small Church Ministry. So through June 30th, through the end of the month, you can join the network for just $6 for your first month. Get it? Anniversary six. We're giving it to you for $6 for your first month. Now, normally, again, it's normally $29 a month. Honestly, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, if you've been nodding along, if you've been thinking, "I probably should work on that," or, you know, "Maybe I should learn more about that," or, "I should probably do something with all this," this really is your moment, not because the network is magical, but because growth is a choice, and sometimes we need a place to practice it, and the best place to practice growth is with others who are going in the same direction as you.

So come [00:28:00] to the coaching calls. Bring your questions. Join the Q&A. Learn alongside other people serving in small churches, and experience it for yourself. Like, if everybody really matters, everybody deserves opportunities to grow, and this is a good one. So if you wanna join the Small Church Network this month for the anniversary deal, $6 for your first month, you can cancel any time.

It's no hassle. Just go to smallchurchministry.com/network. The link is also in the show notes.

So, all right, let me just recap our show from today. The word just does a lot more than just minimizing our role. It minimizes us, not just our role, and often it helps us feel safer because staying small feels safer.

So both on the church side of we minimize people when we talk about volunteers and we create this hierarchy, whether it's invisible or visible, and as people, we minimize [00:29:00] ourselves and the significance and the impact we can be having. Churches often concentrate development on too few people. Healthy churches develop people, not just the leaders.

Healthy churches are built by lots of people who are growing in skill, in health, in everything that they're doing together. So this week, like, pay attention to every time you hear the word just, like I'm just or it's just, and notice we don't say just about things that are important. So we need to quit saying just about ourselves.

Ask yourself this too: Have I been minimizing my significance, or have I been minimizing the significance of someone else in my church or on my team? 'Cause every single person is worth our time and worth development and growth. Or how about this question? Have I been settling for less growth than I'm actually capable of?

We really [00:30:00] believe in ministry that is fun and filling and enjoyable and healthy, and we believe that is possible for everyone because God says it is. We also know that there's a lot of churches and organizations that struggle with this, and we believe that every single person involved can have an impact on their culture.

If healthy churches are built by lots of growing people, what exactly should people be growing in, what they could be growing in? We're talking about skills, not just spiritual gifts, not personality, but skills. Learning practical ministry skills might be one of the most overlooked ways to strengthen a church.

Thanks for spending time with me this week. Again, check out the link. Join us in the network anytime. You can go to smallchurchministry.com/network to join us [00:31:00] there. It's an amazing community. If you wanna get in on the deal, and it's still June, go and grab it for $6 for your first month. Jump in. You'll love it.

So all right, again, until next week, be a light.