235: We've Expected Too Much from Pastors - and Underestimated Everyone Else

I've been told more than once that the real leverage point in a church is the pastor. Get the pastor healthy, and everything else will follow. I don't buy it. 

In this episode, we're talking about why pastors matter, why ordinary people matter too, and why healthy churches are usually built by lots of people growing, participating, and taking ownership together.

In this episode, we're talking about:

1. Why we've put so much pressure on pastors
2. The role ordinary people play in a healthy church
3. What shared ownership actually looks like
4. Why participation matters more than observation
5. How healthy churches are built together

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Transcript

235: We've Expected Too Much from Pastors - and Underestimated Everyone Else

​[00:00:00] 

Laurie Graham Ertl: Hey, hey. Welcome back to the Small Church Ministry podcast. Today, we are wrapping up the series, and although we've definitely talked about volunteers, the focus for June wasn't really a series about volunteers, at least not primarily. I really wanted to talk about influence, and that's what we've talked about over the last few weeks. That the most influential person in your church might not be the pastor. I know some of us think that, and some of us may have never thought that, depending on your church culture and how you grew up. 

Oftentimes, the pastor is the highlight, and in some churches, really not. I had friends who, grew up in churches where there [00:01:00] wasn't one person to do the sermon or one person wasn't considered the pastor, that people took turns doing the sermon that Sunday.

And we talked a little bit about the, sometimes the separation that happens with hierarchy between the leaders and the little people, the people who are getting developed and the people who are just volunteers. Now, you may not experience that in your church, you may have.

I'm talking about things that are very common in many churches. We might not all have them all, but most of us have at least seen these in places. We talked about last week why great volunteers need a whole lot more than spiritual gifts, and I get so frustrated when we focus on, you know, we're developing volunteers, and we do a gifts inventory, but then we never teach skills, 'cause skills can be taught.

And underneath all of this, the big idea is, or has been, that healthy churches are shaped by a whole lot more people than we realize, But this brings us to today's conversation, because [00:02:00] if these things are true, that influence is distributed, that healthy churches are shaped by a whole lot more people than we realize, where does the pastor fit and where do we fit?

Like, what responsibility belongs to the rest of us? Now, pastors matter a whole lot, and healthy churches were never supposed to depend on one person. I've seen churches on each extreme and on every continuum in the middle, whether it's everything depends on the pastor, a pastor makes all the decisions, or I've seen congregations also that are very congregationally led, right? Where the pastor really doesn't matter. Like, who is sitting in that position, doesn't matter that much. Like, we'll be fine either way. And I don't think either of these extremes is good, and on the continuum, we're all on that somewhere. I think we could all agree that pastors matter a lot. Leadership matters, direction matters, vision matters. Healthy pastors make a huge difference. Most of us can think of pastors who encouraged us, pastors who challenged us, pastors who helped us grow.

[00:03:00] Pastors matter. It's not the question. The question I wanna talk about is how much are they really responsible for? And I think this is where we've gotten ourselves into trouble sometimes. There's a lot of pressures, pressure that we've put on pastors. And I'll also say that I've also seen pastors put a lot of pressure on the people, the people and the pastors. So back to Small Church Ministry, as we celebrate our six years in Small Church Ministry, I started this ministry to equip volunteers, because I saw the lack of ministry skills in, most people in small churches.

Like, I had been in big churches. They hired experts everywhere, and so I really was like, "Oh, my gosh, what if we, what if we helped everybody develop skills? Like, the Sunday school teacher and the person serving coffee and the person doing the church bulletin. Like, let's develop skills everywhere," because I saw how much of a difference that would make to the pastor, to serving, to [00:04:00] serving well, to sharing the load, to more effective ministry.

Now, over the years, so back in the Small Church Ministry context, over the years, I have been told more than once that the real leverage point in a church is always the pastor 100%. This usually comes up when people hear what we've built here at Small Church Ministry, because a lot of ministry organizations are focused almost entirely on pastors, the organizations that help churches grow or pastors grow or focus on development for churches or non-profits.

Most conferences are for pastors. Most coaching is for pastors. Most leadership development is for pastors. Seminary, education, a lot of that is for pastors. Continuing education is for pastors. I have had well-known authors, coaches, pastors, conference speakers, and podcasters question me over the past six years, [00:05:00] and I've heard questions like this: "Why are you spending so much time trying to develop volunteers? Why are you investing in ministry leaders who aren't pastors? If the pastor isn't healthy, none of that matters." I've been told that, probably by people you have read books from and listened to on other podcasts who are leading things. I believe they were well-meaning. I believe they think that's true, that it's a waste of time to develop volunteers if the pastor isn't healthy, that everything starts with the pastor.

What they were saying to me is that the real leverage is the pastor, not the people. I understand it. I understand the argument. I get it, and I wholeheartedly disagree. I don't believe it. I never did believe it, and after six years of serving thousands of people in small church communities, by and large, volunteers and ministry leaders who weren't pastors, I can tell you what I've seen.[00:06:00] 

One thing is this, a healthy pastor is a gift. A healthy pastor is a gift. I do not diminish or minimize the gift of having a pastor who is healthy. But the other thing I will tell you that I've seen is a church full of growing people is transformational. Transformational. And I think we've placed enormous pressure on pastors to become the answer to problems that belong to all of us.

Pastors are human. They get tired. They get discouraged. They get things wrong. They have seasons where they're struggling, too, and honestly, they don't have the capacity to develop every single person under their care. But you know who has responsibility for that? Each and every one of us. The church was never designed to rise and fall on one person.

Like, think about things that typically pastors are [00:07:00] expected to do, to preach, to lead, to counsel, to develop volunteers, to manage conflict, to recruit people, to cast vision, to care for families, to solve problems, to build culture, and somehow they're supposed to also stay healthy themselves and with all of their relationships.

And can I just say, that's a lot. In today's day and age, when many pastors are becoming bi-vocational Or have second jobs? It's even more so Pastors matter incredibly

But they're not the only people who matter. And honestly, I think, like, we have underestimated, many of us have underestimated our own role, but also the potential that every other person has to bring. Please, if you did not listen to last week's podcast on skill development or great volunteers, like, go back and listen to that.

We've got to quit [00:08:00] underestimating not only ourselves, but the people around us. Sometimes we overestimate what the pastor is supposed to do. We expect too much. Not always. I know you may have a different situation and I hear that. We're not all in the same place. But generally, and oftentimes, because I've seen pastors burnt out and pastors' families who are devastated by the way they were treated, by what was put upon them. We often expect too much from our pastors, and we've often expected too little from ourselves So what exactly do I mean?

I'm not saying that every one of us should preach sermons. I'm not saying every one of us should lead the church. I'm not saying everyone should become a ministry director. But I do believe that we underestimate the role that we play in the health of our churches be- because we don't have authority, right?

So a lot of times we think, we don't have authority, but even without [00:09:00] authority, we have influence, and with influence comes responsibility. This is the whole thing I close every podcast episode with when I say 'be a light'. I say be a light because I believe you can be, because I believe we all are, because I believe each and every one of us was created to have influence, not because we have authority.

It's not equal. You can have authority and influence. You can also not have authority and have influence. But with influence comes responsibility. If you're a volunteer or a ministry leader serving in some capacity, you might not be responsible for the vision of the church, but each of us is responsible for how we show up, each of us.

I'm responsible for how I treat people, and so are you. I am responsible for whether I keep growing or not, and so are you. I am responsible for whether I help solve a problem [00:10:00] or simply point out a problem, or walk away from a problem, or avoid a problem. I'm responsible for how I show up. So are you I'm responsible for whether I share what I'm learning or I keep it to myself like this is a trick of the trade that I've learned.

No. If I learn how to speak better, I want you to learn how to speak better too. I'm gonna share everything I've learned. That's what I've been doing. Most people in most churches have more influence than authority. Would you agree with that? Most people in more, most churches have more influence than authority.

Usually, authority is held by less people than the majority, right? Somebody's an authority, other people are not. But influence is still responsibility. If you've served in a small church for more than a minute, you know that being part of a church means a lot more than [00:11:00] attending it. It means helping to build it, not by doing everything, not by becoming the pastor, but by taking ownership of the things that belong to us, by the things that we can do, by the places we can grow.

And if we care about the future of our church, then we're part of building it. Once people start thinking that way, church culture changes. You've probably seen it. But what if more people just realized they mattered? 'Cause when I say we've expected too much from the pastors, I don't mean that the solution is to start demanding more from everybody else.

I'm not saying we should point fingers and saying, "You need to quit sitting there. You need to step up." I honestly think that's part of the problem, 'cause most people aren't refusing responsibility. Many people simply don't realize how much they matter, and a lot [00:12:00] of times our churches have helped shape that belief.

When decisions are made behind closed doors, when all decisions are made behind closed doors, when only a handful of voices are heard or even invited to be part of sharing, when ministry is presented as something that professionals do, right? Like, this is what our ministry leaders do. This is what the person that was hired to do. This is what the pastor is hired to do. People eventually start believing that they don't have a lot to offer. This doesn't have to just be with paid positions either. This is one of the reasons our planning parties are such a gift to so many churches, because we have ministry leaders, like, let's take Women's ministry for one.

We have a corps of Women's ministry leaders and they're like, maybe there's three of them at your church, and they're exhausted, and they're tired of planning things that nobody wants to come to, or that nobody they say they want, but then they don't show up. And they're tired of doing all the work themselves and they think [00:13:00] nobody wants to help and nobody can, and then they have a planning party and go, "What?"

Like, all these people come out of the woodwork. They wanna share ideas. They wanna be involved, and it changes everything. But when ministry is presented as something that just a handful do, like they're doing ministry for us, they're planning the programs and we're supposed to come. They're planning the service project, and they're looking for volunteers.

People eventually start believing they don't have as much to offer as they do. They've spent years believing ministry belonged to the pastor or the staff or the board or the ministry leaders or the core volunteers or the people with titles. This is what we've been talking about all month. There aren't any little people in the church.

That hierarchy of importance or value that we've created, whether it's visible or invisible The goal is not to shame people into doing more. The goal is to help more people discover that they matter, that they have influence, that they [00:14:00] can grow, that they have something worth contributing. And I wanna say that this is what the small church has to offer that many other sized churches do not.

We're small enough to individualize. We're small enough to make sure that person's gifts can shine. It's a gift that we have, that every single person really does matter. We don't have the budget to hire the worship expert, so we need to develop people around us. We can, it's a gift.

Think about what happens when somebody realizes that they have something worth contributing, that a volunteer decides to learn a new skill and they can add something to the ministry or the small group or the Sunday school class. Or think about what happens when a church member speaks up with an idea that obviously they hold dear, and it's actually valued and considered.

What happens? [00:15:00] Think about what happens when somebody takes ownership of a problem instead of waiting for somebody else to solve it. "Hey, Pastor, by the way, this was happening outside in the parking lot, and I took care of this weed or this, you know, infestation. I just wanted to let you know I handled it."

Isn't that beautiful? Think of what happens when somebody shares what they've learned with a friend or a ministry team, and all of a sudden this team is growing in different ways to lead and relate to each other and, like, work through conflict. And the pastor gets to look over and go, "Wow, that's really good." I didn't have to step in.

Think about what happens when somebody who thought they were just helping begins to see themselves differently. This is how churches change. This is how churches change. Not because everybody suddenly works harder, not because we recruited the best volunteer, not because somebody is uber talented and finally stepped up. [00:16:00] Churches change because people begin to understand their value and learn skills and be part of something bigger than themselves.

The future of our churches doesn't change when one person becomes extraordinary or we find that one extraordinary pastor. Our churches change when ordinary people, more ordinary people, realize they matter. This is literally what we've spent six years doing here at Small Church Ministry, not building superstars, not creating experts, not convincing everybody to become a ministry leader or a pastor. Just helping more people discover that growth is not reserved for pastors.

Learning isn't, like, kept in a special safe for leaders or for people with a title. Influence isn't reserved for people who have [00:17:00] been given authority Healthy churches grow when more people discover they have something meaningful to offer. It's like understanding our own worth and not stopping there.

It's understanding our own worth as individuals and growing, exploring, being curious, not trying something and failing. We all fail the first time we do anything, or typically I do. We need to learn skills. Yes, we need to grow in character. Yes, we need to grow in heart and our motivations, and we need to grow in skill.

Too often, we have overestimated what the pastor's responsible for, what they should do, what they're in charge of. We've outsourced our own growth, and we've underestimated or undervalued what every person has to offer. [00:18:00] If you have spent the last few episodes of this series, like, realizing you matter more than you thought, I hope that happened for some.

That's great. I hope it's true for you, because your church needs you. Your gifts matter. Your growth matters. That next one skill that you want to learn that you know would make a difference, it matters. Your influence matters. If you are the pastor listening, I hope you're hearing something, too, that you don't have to become the answer to every problem.

You don't have to develop every person yourself. You don't have to build a healthy church alone. We all need each other, and I hope every single one of us is also thinking of the person that sits down the row from us, or grabs the coffee behind us, or walks in the doors in front of us. Whether [00:19:00] they're actively serving, or they're coming in as volunteers, or they've been quiet and you're not sure why they're not more involved, this isn't about getting people to do more things, or about making them see, or about blame or shame.

This is about helping all of us, each of us, realize how much we matter, realize our influence, realize our significance, because that is how God created us to be. He created us each to be a light. A light. A light is small, a light is fragile, and a light has incredible influence.

And again, just last day of our sixth year anniversary offer. You can join the Small Church Network today for just $6 for this first month. It's a special deal we're offering. Get it? Year six of our anniversary, $6 for one month. Come [00:20:00] join us. It's normally $29. Just come check it out. Check out and see if it's a benefit to you.

We'll get to have a conversation, just you and I. You'll get some coaching calls, a master class, a live Q&A, all within 30 days. You'll get some resources that you can use personally as well as sharing with your church, and you'll get to be around a community of people who are committed, not just to their own personal growth, but also to building healthier churches together.

So go to smallchurchministry.com/network and sign up before midnight tonight. The discount is already applied to the button there. And if you're listening to this episode past today, join the network anytime. Come join us, $29 for one month. Get coaching, get community, get some friends. Check it out. It is well worth the value.

So the link again for that is smallchurchministry.com/network. It's also in the show notes. And one more thing, registration opens next week, so this is kind of a save the date, for our first ever event created specifically for pastors. [00:21:00] It's called Leading Well in a Small Church. Our events are free and online.

This event is happening on July 25th from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM Eastern Time. Make sure to do the time zone conversion. But this is a free online event designed specifically for pastors serving in small churches. And if you are sick of talking about numbers, pastors, and marketing and church growth, so are we.

This conversation's gonna be really different. If you are a pastor and this month's series has resonated with you, if you've been thinking about shared ownership and healthy leadership and developing people, building a church that doesn't depend on a handful of exhausted people maybe, you'll wanna join us.

And if you are not a pastor, would you please share this episode with your pastor? This conversation matters, and it matters a lot. So thanks for spending this month with me. If you haven't heard the past couple podcast episodes, you'll wanna go back and catch them. They kind of all go together, and they're important. They're important to me. They're [00:22:00] important to the reasons that we developed Small Church Ministry, and I think you will enjoy hearing some of the foundational philosophies that we have if you're newer to our community. So thanks for being with me in the last six years of Small Church Ministry.

Thanks to all of you who have spoken, who have written for the blog, who have been part of our online events, who've been in the network, who've had the conversation, who really help build the community inside our free Facebook group. Like, there is so much. This ministry is not built on a superstar team, I will tell you that. There are a few of us doing some of the behind-the-scenes grunt work, and there are so many other people, that we never could have built this without you all. So, thanks again. Thanks for being here. Thanks for being with us. Again, join the network, smallchurchministry.com/network. Link is in the show notes.

Until next week, be a light.[00:23:00]