EP:040 Spinning Records to Sobriety: Kelly Reverb's Life Story

Ever been fascinated by the thrilling world of DJing and the music industry? Ever wondered about the challenges and the highs that come with it? Join us as we sit down with Kelly Reverb, a seasoned DJ from Dallas, Texas, who offers a unique perspective on this world. Kelly, who started his journey at the world-renowned Bill's Records, walks us through his musical voyage, his experiences with his group Southside Reverb, Hard Kiss Brothers, and the lost skill of DJs today.

We continue the conversation, shedding light on the dark side of the music industry that often goes unnoticed. Kelly opens up about his struggle with addiction, the impact of drugs and alcohol on his life, and how he found solace in podcasting during his recovery. His transformation from a raver to a DJ, getting signed to a record label, and his track being featured in a film are just a few highlights of his journey. Kelly also discusses the importance of destigmatizing addiction, a subject that affects people from all walks of life.

Kelly's journey doesn't stop at overcoming addiction. We explore his life post-recovery, the tools that aided him in his journey, and the lessons he learned. He shares how sobriety has improved his relationship with his wife and how he managed his mother's passing and being the executor of her estate. He also delves into the importance of finding one's purpose and offers insights on how to change the world. This episode is a testament to the power of personal transformation and the freedom that comes from breaking free from addiction - a truly inspiring journey of resilience, courage, and personal growth. Join us on this enlightening episode of the Drunken Worm Podcast.
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:19

Hey guys, are you looking for a backstage pass? How about a behind the scenes look at this podcast. I have exciting news for you. Starting October 1st, we will be opening the doors to the Drunken Worm Podcast and letting our listeners join in the fun and conversation. Check out the different ways that you can support this show and gain access to exclusive content, such as free Drunken Worm Podcast merchandise for one full year, being an exclusive community where you can talk to other members, vote on upcoming show topics, hear exclusive audio footage from interviews each month, receive a personal shout out on an upcoming episode and stay up to date with the Drunken Worm Podcast monthly newsletter so that you can stay informed about upcoming guests, show topics and community news. With four different pledge options to fit any budget, you can flex your power and become a super fan today. Alright, guys, and welcome to today's episode, episode number 40 on the Drunken Worm Podcast.

Speaker 1: 2:17

My name is Carl, the host of the show, and I got a great show lined up for you, guys, and welcome again to season two. This is our second episode for the season and we're starting to get into the fall season as well, and we have the holidays coming up, so we have a lot of great content for you guys coming out on the Drunken Worm Podcast and I want to remind everybody, if you're new to the podcast or you've switched over from our Facebook group, please hit that subscribe button, and what that's going to allow is it's going to allow you to get notifications when we have new episodes posting and that way you can stay up to date with all the great content that we're going to be putting out over this next season. And again, our new style for this season right now is we're doing one episode a month, so every the first Tuesday of every month we are going to be putting out a new episode and you are listening to the second episode of season two, episode 40. And we just a lot of really, really good guests coming in. Today's guest is from Dallas, texas, and we're going to bring him into the show here momentarily. Also, I want to remind you guys if you can, please give our show a rating. This is going to allow other people to find the show If they're on their podcast subscribing apps and they want to look up recovery podcasts. When you guys give us a rating out there, it bumps us up and allows other people to start finding the show and they can also experience what you're experiencing, which I hope is that you're enjoying the content that we're putting out there for you. You can visit our website at the drunkenwormpodcastcom. You can also visit our Facebook page and our Instagram page at the TWD podcast on Instagram and the drunkenworm podcast on Facebook, and I want to thank everybody for taking the time and listening. I've gotten a lot of messages from you guys asking when we're going to start the show up again, and so I'm just so happy to be back behind the microphone talking to people on recovery, talking to really great guests and hearing their amazing stories about how they've found sobriety and also, you know, what they're doing now with their lives. So again, we have a really great guest for you lined up today. He's coming in from Dallas, texas, and, without any further ado, let's get on with this week's episode.

Speaker 1: 4:53

Welcome to the drunkenworm podcast. Each week, I will be bringing you dynamic content that will educate and inspire. This podcast was created to talk to mental health professionals about addiction, recovery and their own personal stories that can help inspire us to become better people and live healthier lives. And again, welcome to episode 40. My name is Carl, the host and creator of the drunkenworm podcast, and I hope that all of you guys are having a fantastic day. Maybe you're at the gym listening to us on a treadmill, maybe you're on your way to work, but I hope that you guys are making the best that you can out of this wonderful life that we've created for ourselves, now that we've found sobriety or maintaining our mental health. So our guest today is a DJ, kelly reverb, and he is coming in from Dallas, texas. He also has a podcast called the pink cloud and with Lone Star Productions, so I want to bring Kelly into the show. Man Kelly, welcome to the drunkenworm podcast, brother.

Speaker 2: 5:50

Hey, thanks for having me on oh yeah, you're absolutely welcome man, Absolutely. So it's actually this pink cloud.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Oh, okay, my apologies. So this pink cloud no problem.

Speaker 2: 6:03

I mean the pink cloud was that URL was already taken.

Speaker 1: 6:06

Oh was it.

Speaker 2: 6:08

Dang, I had to go with this pink cloud.

Speaker 1: 6:10

Oh well, I like that better actually.

Speaker 2: 6:13

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:15

So well, great Well, welcome to the show man. You and I had an opportunity to talk in length yesterday and I was so excited when our friend Brett introduced us from his podcast, and you've been on his show before and you have your own show that you do, which is an amazing show. It's on YouTube, and is there also an audio version of your show as well that you put out?

Speaker 2: 6:44

Yeah, it's actually probably on this format that you're listening to. Okay, so yeah, I use Anchor and it pushes to all of the major streaming platforms. Perfect, so yeah. And then if they want to find the YouTube channel, you just go to this pinkcloudcom and it will take you to the YouTube channel.

Speaker 1: 7:09

That's great man, all right, and I made a little show note there for this pink cloud. So when I read it off later on, I'm not going to, I won't put the pink cloud, okay. So, kelly, you're a person in long-term recovery. You and I also have kind of a similar background, being that we're both DJs. You started in the rave scene a little bit earlier than I did, but we have had some, probably some similar experiences with that type of industry and then now we're both in recovery. So why don't you give us a little background to yourself and how you've kind of come into your recovery now?

Speaker 2: 7:55

Okay, yeah for sure. Well, as far as like the DJing, I started the DJ probably around 88. That'll date me so. But right around the end of high school I started DJing and then obviously I found out that you could get paid and you could drink for free and it had all the perks of a dream job for me and you're playing music. So I kind of started off top 40, but I had always kind of had an affinity for what they now call EDM, but back then it was called like House Music and Asset House and then something called Breakbeat came out and so basically I was working at a record store here in Dallas it's kind of a world famous record store called Bill's Records and we were really connected to the music working at the record store.

Speaker 2: 9:10

And if you've ever seen the movie High Sedality, it's exactly like that. So a bunch of jaded, pompous kids working at the record store and just loving it. And we were it wasn't, we were pushing like Mariah Carey, we were pushing whatever was cool that week and then we had like a dance portion of that store. So basically I'm in contact with all the major distributors, like Watts and Nemesis and all that kind of stuff, and basically I was DJing and one day I had kind of an epiphany. I was, there was a record by a guys from San Francisco called Hard Kiss, hard Kiss Brothers, right. So I was sitting there and I was like, well, these guys are from San Francisco, you know how, you know, how do I know about them here in Dallas, texas? I'm like, oh well, through their production.

Speaker 2: 10:25

So then I started to produce, you know, records and that really kind of took off immediately. You know, like, as far as I, you know, the the first it was actually a group called Southside Reverb, because I wanted to kind of do the whole hard kiss brothers, you know, and then they go by, you know, robbie Scott and Gavin, you know, and so I wanted to be affiliated With my project. So of course I had to come up with a name first, so and I went with Southside Reverb, because Texas South, all that kind of stuff, and so I put out a release and and you know, actually got some attention from that release and then basically he honestly started touring. You know, once that release came out, and yeah, it was, it was pretty, it was pretty amazing and pretty, overnight, just that, that instant, you know, feedback and and Momentum gained from just one release.

Speaker 1: 11:42

Yeah, and you know, I'm thinking, I'm thinking to myself because the what? What year was this when you had that first release?

Speaker 2: 11:50

Probably right around 95. Okay, okay, so I think of a contingency plan. I didn't want to be, I didn't want to work at the record store for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1: 12:01

Yeah, and as much fun as that sounds, yeah, yeah, definitely having a contingency plan and, and you know, propelling yourself forward with a career DJing. But you know I have some experience also producing. I haven't actually Let me back up, I have some experience in the studio, sure. So you know I I'm going to Simon studio, dj Simon apex from subsonic underground recordings and seeing his studio. You know, even back in the early 2000s it was still pretty analog. You know a lot, of, a lot of Machines on the side with the computer set up to do like fruity loops, or if you give you my, if you go to my Facebook, there is a picture of my analog studio.

Speaker 1: 12:56

But I love that though, because, like you and I were talking about, you know, you and I started DJing in the age of vinyl. God, that sounds so strange to me, but the age of vinyl, right and and now, you actually had to have a skill set. Right to actually mix exactly, you had to train your ears.

Speaker 2: 13:17

It was an actual acquired talent.

Speaker 1: 13:20

Exactly exactly and you know, and and going through that whole process of teaching Myself how to do that but also teaching myself about Cubase and, you know, producing beats and everything like that. And I'm, I'm, you know, not even an intro person on producing beats, so that that wasn't anything that really like took off for me. But I did some classes in college on it and and everything. So I understand the mechanics of the computer system. I just wasn't good at producing the, you know getting the synth and also the plugins and stuff like that, sure, when I was doing it. But you know, just this whole era I feel is like this lost skill that DJs. Now, you know, you have all these young kids coming up and like, now I'm a DJ and I think the whole, the whole Paris Hilton effect.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Yeah, you know, I'm like, wow, I mean let's put them in front of two turntables with some vinyl and they, they wouldn't know what to do, you know.

Speaker 2: 14:29

Oh, yeah, so yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's definitely kind of become Like mainstream and, like you said, everybody can be a DJ. So yeah, it's like I don't hate on that, but it is nice when you're going to see a person for an actual talent, right, right, I mean skill at which which you can still have that talent and skill you know electronically. But it also opens up, you know, to Two people that actually might not have done the time right, you know, right, may not have done those, what is it?

Speaker 1: 15:08

10,000 hours yet 10,000 hours of the grind behind the turntables and right you know have, knowing when you have to replace your needle or putting. Did you ever put like a Nickel or a penny on on top of the the head just to keep it like if it was a Unbalanced turntable and you couldn't really get it balanced? Did you ever do?

Speaker 2: 15:36

that, yeah, yeah and hope you did?

Speaker 1: 15:42

you turn into MacGyver right, exactly, exactly which is a great show, by the way. Now now we're really dating ourselves.

Speaker 2: 15:51

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 15:54

So yeah, man, but you know just this whole industry and and I know that we're kind of breaking away from the recovery talk, but but it's not often that I get to talk kind of shop with people on the show that are in recovery. We had the episode I giving thanks with Simon apex and Queen B there, you know a power couple right there in the hardcore and breakbeat scene but you know, but it's it's really great to see, and I went to an event with Simon and I would say like 80% of the people that I knew prior are now like sober and Either working a program of recovery or just right abstaining from, you know, drinking or using drugs, and sure, well, that's a funny.

Speaker 2: 16:44

That's a funny thing because you know it is one of those Job hazards, that that was kind of unlisted, that I mean me personally. I didn't sign up to be an alcoholic right. You know, I always like to say that Alcohol is the ultimate slow play. So if you're a poker person, you know it's. You don't realize that it's happening until all of a sudden. Yeah, it happened.

Speaker 1: 17:21

Exactly, exactly. You know the same with drugs because, like my, my whole thing was uppers ecstasy and you know I started raving as a raver and not as a DJ and so that was like that was the whole, like draw to the party was Okay, great. What type of pills can we take to enhance?

Speaker 2: 17:42

our experience. And I never little drug history. Actually, mdma was popularized at a club start club here in Dallas really. Yeah, so that's where it really kind of took off came out of the laboratory and some Psychiatrists discovered her. He didn't actually discover the element, but he'd, you know, kind of popularized it here and they used to actually Go around with trays of ecstasy and just hand it out.

Speaker 1: 18:11

What? Yeah? Yeah, that's like yeah. Did you see the movie formula 51?

Speaker 2: 18:17

I have not.

Speaker 1: 18:18

Oh my gosh, was Samuel Jackson and he's this, um, this drug dealer. I don't think he's a drug lord, but he's a drug dealer. And, um, God, it's this great rave scene where he's like holding up this bag of ecstasy pills and he's like I'm going to free your mind with with this pill, and now I'm going to set you free, and he reaches into the bag and he like throws ecstasy out into the crowd. Um, and I actually they they made a remix of it, using that vocal um as an intro to one of the songs that I really like, and so I used that as on um one of my mixes, as kind of my intro. Um, and I was like man, just, it's a really good movie.

Speaker 1: 19:05

If anybody is out there and wants to see a great Samuel Jackson movie. He wears a kilt the whole time. Um, he has golf clubs and he has a mean golf swing when he hits people. Um, but, uh, yeah, it's, it's actually a really good movie, so I will have to check that out. Yeah, Absolutely, Formula 51. Um, so, yeah, man, so okay. So now you've kind of started playing out and, um, enjoying yourself, yeah, man.

Speaker 2: 19:36

Speaking of movies, I mean I get, I get so far, um, I'm from being self produced, right, and putting out these first couple of releases, uh, and then I'm getting, I like, honestly, I got hit up for a movie that had Mark Wahlberg in it and then it was going to go through, but then they decided to change the soundtrack to like AOR, which is album oriented rock, so they went with more of a like a Bush format that movie. But they never paid me. So who cares? But? But so I get signed to this label called ESP sign, which is based out of Holland, but then New York, uh, they have a, you know, an affiliate in New York and they, uh, you know, they start doing their thing and their parent company is actually Roadrunner Records, uh, which is like typo negative and stuff like that. But so so on ESP son, I end up, uh, you know, they say, hey, we want a single single.

Speaker 2: 20:42

Goes really well. And then, of course, you know, they usually do a three single with a with an album you know, like if things are going well. So we end up doing a full album. But one of those tracks actually gets licensed to a movie which is called the Blade by Wesley with Wesley Snipes. So my track is in there. Um, and if it's like right when he pulls up his blade at the end, uh, that's my track. Wow, just fun fact. But I was like, well, why we're talking movies?

Speaker 2: 21:21

Yeah, yeah Well that's so, yeah, and I'm like, um, you know, I'm doing all that, um, um, uh, you know, and the whole time I'm I'm traveling, so from like 95, and I'll say till about, you know, 2005, 2010,. You know, I mean probably from 2005 to 2010,. It starts to taper and I start to kind of go oh shit, but, um, but as far as the you know, traveling and stuff like that, um, you know, it was just, it was my job every weekend and uh, you know, obviously everybody can probably relate to being a little bit of a nervous flyer, you know. So, um, you know. That being said, hey, there's an easy solution for that. It's a little something called alcohol, you know, and the funny thing is, is I, honestly, I, you know, you were talking about mental health earlier, or you had mentioned that in the beginning I actually suffered from really, really bad anxiety. Um, and you know, when you have your first panic attack in the Pittsburgh airport, mr Aka, mr Rogers neighborhood.

Speaker 1: 22:39

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:41

And you're, you're 25, and you think you're having a heart attack, and you know you haven't done anything. And then you go, you know, and at that time I was flying, you know, first class, so you know I barely make it, you know to my, to my plane, and then you know I'm like they're serving cocktails, so of course, okay, well, I'll try, you know, I'll take one. Hey, and guess what? Man? It worked.

Speaker 1: 23:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:13

And then all of a sudden, there's a learned behavior. Hey, anytime, anytime you feel anxiety or anything like that, just throw a little vodka at it and you know you'll be good.

Speaker 1: 23:29

Absolutely yeah, yeah. And it was like that for me, with the ecstasy too.

Speaker 1: 23:34

It was, you know, like this learned behavior, that like, oh my gosh, you know, music that normally probably would have driven me crazy initially, like became tolerable and enjoyable and this new experience and you know, I remember thinking to myself sitting on this in this warehouse it was called TELIC and it was, you know, in the heart of Oakland's warehouse district and Oakland is definitely like not the best place to be like hang around at like two in the morning in general. But you know, and and I just remember, you know, sitting there thinking to myself like how could life get any better than this?

Speaker 2: 24:21

And I'm in a cuddle, puddle on the floor.

Speaker 1: 24:24

Exactly Dirty ass warehouse yeah right and life is good, life is great, man, or? You know, I was standing in front of. Like you know, they have towers of speakers in this warehouse and so you're just sitting in front of the speakers, you know, and and.

Speaker 2: 24:39

I used to play a spot called home base.

Speaker 1: 24:42

Oh yeah, home base in.

Speaker 2: 24:43

Oakland. And I used to play for it. It was ghost tribe. I used to play for them all the time. Okay, yeah, so shout out ghost tribes.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Yeah, and home base. Wow, home base is like that's that was so home base, home base.

Speaker 2: 24:56

Basically a home depot was abandoned, or or just warehouse space, and they used to have just ragers all the time.

Speaker 1: 25:05

Yeah, yeah, home base was one of the great, great places out there. I think Telleck kind of picked up after home base, you know, dissolved because I don't know if they tore it down or whatever happened to that spot. But yeah, some really great. You know underground, you know underground spots for raves and you know what now we call EDM music. So yeah, man. So tell me, at what point in your life did you realize that? Hey, this is probably like I need to make a change.

Speaker 2: 25:43

Yeah, okay so. So, like I said, it's kind of starts slowing down and I mean I'm, you know, like, I've got, you know, moving. You know some tracks and movies. I'm also producing my stuff on my own label, lone Star Records. That's going well, everything is going great.

Speaker 2: 26:03

And then that thing called the MP3 comes out and you know vinyl sales tank and there's not that tactile, you know, advertising that people get in their hand every week, you know from going to the record store and seeing your name. So then it starts to wane, you know, and I'd like so, you know, any good DJ and to keep the party going and to not get a real job. You know, I mean I just start, I start falling back and I start doing, you know, just more local stuff. Yeah, so I've got enough of a name to still, you know, go and get the cool gigs and and play, you know, here in Dallas and then occasionally play out on the road, but you know still enough to do that. And then you know, just progressively, I would say, from 2010. 2015,. You know I have to start getting creative. I'm starting to start doing eBay and other stuff.

Speaker 1: 27:11

And.

Speaker 2: 27:12

I mean I'm also having you know jobs in the meantime, like I've done sales and stuff like that, because hey, it's a nice thing to have insurance.

Speaker 1: 27:22

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:23

So you know, but I start doing that, but like, probably I mean, but the entire time I mean think about this. So from 18 to, you know, 45, you know, I've been drinking pretty steadily and having that, having that knowledge that alcohol is going to fix whatever the problem is. And then also, when I say I was working sales, it was a sales job from home. So you know, captain's got the drinking light on all day, yeah, yeah, so made for some interesting sales calls.

Speaker 1: 28:03

But then Nope, we lost you there. Can you hear me? All right, we're going to work on getting Kelly back on the show here just momentarily. All right, now we got Kelly back. Welcome back, yeah. So yeah, that was weird man, exactly, exactly, so you were talking about.

Speaker 2: 28:39

You were talking about doing sales, yeah and yeah, and it just becomes a part of your lifestyle. It's not a problem, you're still making money and everything's good. And then it just basically I say that drinking wasn't a problem until it was a problem. It was like the answer until it became the problem.

Speaker 1: 29:11

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 29:11

Yeah, because I mean it really got bad starting around 2015,. It was daily drinking. How long can you keep up daily drinking? How long can you write that ship? Because that's all you do. I mean, when you're drinking, you just drink your way out of it. Yeah, you learn like, hey, okay, there is something to having that beer the next day when you're hungover, yeah, but so I was doing that and it just got to be where. It was a daily thing. And obviously the tailgating I'm still DJing and stuff, but the tailgating before the DJ gig starts a little early, which is pretty much all day. And then it gets to a point and this is like pre-COVID to where I started blacking out that DJ gigs. So it was just like, and blacking out, you get to where maybe one time, oh okay, yeah, it was a blood sugar thing. But then it's just like, oh yeah, this guy's got a problem.

Speaker 1: 30:28

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 30:29

So you know, I mean I just had to sit in that misery and be on that treadmill, you know, like for a good, I don't know, probably like three years where I was doing that and obviously I didn't want to go to rehab, I didn't need rehab you know, but thank God my wife was spurring me on to go to rehab and I was like, okay, well, I'll go, but I'm not going to do any of the legwork. You got to find the rehab for me and I guess I'll go.

Speaker 2: 31:17

So, you know I mean the thing is is I went did the rehab and you know I had 30 days, you know where I went in and I was glad I did that over just a medical detox, because it gave me a little time for that, you know, brain fog to clear Because honestly I was going to get out and then I was going to be able to drink like a normal person.

Speaker 2: 31:49

Yeah yeah, you know, but when you're in there you hear so many tales of people you know. Yeah, good luck socially drinking you know, yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:03

So then it just became kind of a numbers thing. Like at that end of 30 days I was like I was like, well, look, you've given alcohol, you know, a good 25 years of your life. And by the time, by the way, when I went into, when I went into rehab, I was fully diabetic. So I gave myself diabetes, I was having to give myself insulin shots and all this stuff. But in that 30 days I got to wean off of insulin shots. So that tells you something about my alcohol intake. You know that I can basically bring on the onset of diabetes.

Speaker 1: 32:46

You know yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 2: 32:48

So, so that, so that clears up and I'm like, hey, let's, you know, let's, give sobriety just a little bit of a chance. You know we've, we've, we've given alcohol 25 years, 30 years of our life. You know it was a good ride, you know. But you know things are starting to fall, you know, fall apart with that in your life. So, you know, let's, let's make a responsible decision here. And so that was July of 2020. So that would be July 12, 2020. That's my sobriety date. So you know, we're two years and some change.

Speaker 2: 33:34

And you know, once, once I got sober, you know, I'm just like my sister was actually doing AM radio and I was like, oh well, hey, let's start up this, you know. And then they moved to podcasting and I was like, well, you know, I mean, how fun would that be? Kind of, probably like your thought process. You know, let's, let's get out there and spread that message. And, you know, maybe, maybe, people will, you know, learn and also also to destigmatize. You know it, because, honestly, some of the best people I know are heroin addicts.

Speaker 1: 34:16

You know, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 34:18

Yeah, I mean honestly, it's funny to say that. But you know, it's just that one component and it doesn't make them a bad person.

Speaker 1: 34:28

Yeah, it's, it's really, really true. You know that the destigmatize and to look at people in a different manner. I remember working at Duffy's and we had this doctor that would come in and he had the slideshow and he would throw images up on the slides and everything and and he would say, okay, now, which one of these is the alcoholic? And it was like I think one of them was like a president, another one was an actor, you know, and blah, blah, blah, blah, but and then one was a homeless person and kind of the moral was that everybody would pick the homeless person over the president or over this actor that was. You know that they felt was like, well, I mean, we didn't hear anything about an alcohol problem with them, but you know, this person sitting on the street with a sign obviously has an alcohol problem.

Speaker 2: 35:31

Well, I mean, on my show I've had like Brian Cuban, which happens to be the brother of Mark Cuban. So you know, I mean, right there, it shows that drugs and alcohol do not discriminate. Yeah, you know, I mean you can be.

Speaker 1: 35:50

There are plenty of people that are completely miserable and and rich, yeah, yeah, I mean, and it's very apparent nowadays too there was a recent court thing with a very famous actor and his girlfriend or wife, Right.

Speaker 2: 36:09

That was very recent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, jd might be navigating his own problems.

Speaker 1: 36:19

Yeah, right, but you know. But, like you said, mental health and addiction. It doesn't discriminate who it latches on to, and right, it can affect any of us and it affects a lot of us. And the sad part is that a lot of us don't get the help that we need to treat these diseases, that we have Thinking that you know, hey, well, I can just stop doing it, or you know, but but that only solves a fraction of the problem. Stopping solves a very small fraction of the problem. But then now we're looking at bigger problems that we need to address in order for you to maintain your survival.

Speaker 2: 36:58

That's what they say. Like I thought quote the other day that was, like you know, quitting drinking is the easy part. Yeah, sitting with the feelings, you know, sitting with your feelings.

Speaker 1: 37:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 37:12

You know, and being able to navigate, that is the tough part.

Speaker 1: 37:16

Yeah, which you?

Speaker 2: 37:18

know, obviously, in my case, you know, I mean I don't know how much more time we have, but you know, I mean, when I got sober it didn't, it wasn't all of a sudden. You know all unicorns and rainbows because I had a couple of loved ones pass away. You know, in my sobriety, you know which it's like I don't know is that you know, it's just where you learn to take life on life's terms and you, you learn to be, you know, okay with those feelings of discomfort. And you know, hey, it's part of life to feel anxious sometimes and it's part of life to feel sad sometimes. You know, and that's all we're trying to do as addicts and alcoholics, or, you know, as we're just trying to mask what you know, what you know, our feelings, and basically kind of dictate and put us in a comfort zone.

Speaker 1: 38:24

Right.

Speaker 1: 38:25

So, yeah and and yeah I it's. It's so interesting I. That's why I love talking recovery, because it really is this, this conversation that we can have that a lot of people can understand. But even you know, and a lot of people have to go through and and just by talking about it and letting people hear stories like yours and hearing about the successes that we can have after we come into a program of recovery, you know is is uplifting and and with my story I really latched on to podcasts as part of my recovery, to one of my recovery tools coming, coming doing my outpatient rehab with Kaiser and well, and I love how you say that because you know I'm, I celebrate multiple pathways.

Speaker 2: 39:20

You know, like, of recovery, because obviously there's your, your, your 12 step, which I'm a huge fan of, but it's not always a fit for somebody. So you know CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy, you know there's, but all these things and what you said, like your podcast, it's, it's think of your recovery, you know as a toolbox, so it's just another tool in your toolbox and you know the more tools you can have then, the more you know circumstances, you have those tools to address that situation Exactly.

Speaker 1: 40:01

Exactly, and you know I always tell my clients. You know I'm giving you tools to put on your tool belt, but it's up to you. If you want to use those tools Like you have the ability to reach over and grab it. But if you choose to, that's, that's your decision, and I can't make anybody use their tools. I can only present them to them and say, okay, now you know, if you want me to teach you how to use the tool, then you know we can.

Speaker 1: 40:28

we can do that, and so you can perfect and become better at using these tools and navigating your feelings and coming up with positive coping mechanisms versus these negative coping mechanisms that we would use right, using or drinking to Well and you said something important there.

Speaker 2: 40:47

You know you cannot make somebody want. You know you cannot make somebody want to be sober or want this. You know, yeah, and it's that whole law of attraction, you know so absolutely, absolutely, man.

Speaker 1: 41:04

So tell me, tell me, kelly, what is your life like now that you've that you're working on a program of recovery, you're sober, and what does that look like for you Now?

Speaker 2: 41:16

Well, I mean, obviously I tried to keep you know I'll hit a meeting every once in a while. I mean, I like to, I like to stay connected and I think community is paramount in recovery. You know, being part of a tribe, whatever that tribe might be, yeah, I think you know, and the beautiful thing about it is you and I, even though we have, like you know, connected routes with music, but now we can, I can go. Hey, dude, I know that feeling of desperation, right, I know that, that feeling, but, but now, you know, for me it's doing doing the podcast which I just relaunched, like two, three weeks ago.

Speaker 2: 42:06

Yeah, I took a sabbatical because my mother passed away and she was a bit of a hoarder, so that guess who gets to clean up her room? Okay, this guy. So about, you know, 2800 square foot house, yeah, but you know, and I also got my RSPS, which in in Texas, is a recovery support peer specialist and so it's kind of like a recovery coach, if you will, okay, and so I got that and that is actually a license that you have to get. You have to go through a certification, actually not a license, but so you know, I mean a lot of positive stuff. And then I, you know I get to be there. You know I got to be there for my mom when her, you know, life partner of 30 plus years, passed away. And then you know, I get to be there for my sister now, and you know the being the executor is not a fun gig, right, yeah. And especially when you've got, you know, 40 years of stuff to unpack.

Speaker 2: 43:26

Yes, yeah, but other than that, I mean honestly not to, not to put a Debbie downer on it. I mean honestly, you know, life's great. I mean my wife with my, my relationship with my wife, it's much better, you know. And then I'm. The exciting thing to me is I'm not in that prison that I accidentally locked myself in. Yeah, you know, I'm not in that prison of alcohol. Like I can, I can actually go here and go. Okay, well, hey, I'm going to drive to Austin, you know, which is three and a half hours, and not even think twice about it, whereas beforehand I was like, okay, well, let me get a full bottle of vodka and you know the correct mixers, maybe a little vitamin water to, you know, so I can navigate the road trip with a steady buzz you know, yeah, and, and, and, all that planning and always having to have that vodka on me, you know, and have it at the ready, you know which, which is a hell of a place to be when alcohol, you know, becomes your job.

Speaker 2: 44:45

You know what I mean. Yeah, and, and, and your job is to, you know, keep that. You know, keep that certain level of buzz or comfort.

Speaker 2: 44:56

You know that you're used to yeah, absolutely and just being free of that and and actually, you know not, well, not being diabetic, I mean, that's, that's a bonus. Yeah, you know not, and I, I also used to wake up. You know I have sleep apnea, so I used to wake up when, because I would obviously be Hammered drunk. You know, maybe take a little xanax with that, right, and and then I would wake up and I would be, if you can imagine, like the feeling of waking up and drowning. Yeah, you know, I mean, I was there, dude, I was, I was basically choking and I would do that, you know, two, three times a week and I mean dude, I could have died.

Speaker 2: 45:46

Yeah easily easily yeah it's and it's just, it's just To be away from that and to be removed from that and to be able to function. I mean that's you don't realize you know how, how I, how freeing that is, you know, until you've been in that prison and then you, it helps you to appreciate life more. So I'm not really that bummed that I had that problem. I mean, now it puts things in perspective and now it gives me that, oh my god, I am free. You know, of those chains, of that bond, yeah, absolutely, man.

Speaker 1: 46:30

Um well, dude, it's been so great having you on the show and I've I've really enjoyed our time together. Um, we're gonna do some rapid fire questions. How do you feel about that man?

Speaker 2: 46:42

It sounds good. Yeah, I'm excited.

Speaker 1: 46:44

Okay, awesome, all right. Excited and nervous, don't be nervous. So so just just give me the, the answer that comes to you the quickest. All right, okay, all right, guys, and it's time for a rapid fire question section Right now with kelly reverb. So, kelly, what is the best dish that you can cook?

Speaker 2: 47:11

I Good, yeah, well, I make a mean omelette.

Speaker 1: 47:14

Okay, an omelette, oh, that's a good one. I like, I love omelettes, man, all right, have you? Have you ever written a song for someone?

Speaker 2: 47:23

I I have made mixtapes. That's how old I am. I have made mixtapes for girls back in the day Okay, all right, okay, and I also. I also sample people in songs as Easter eggs. Nice, dude, nice I just put a little subliminal in there and go. Hey, by the way, that's your message that you left on my answering machine. That's back back when we had them right, exactly, that's awesome, all right.

Speaker 1: 47:49

Uh, what is the movie you enjoy quoting the most?

Speaker 2: 47:54

Oh my god, probably, I don't know, I find myself quoting. Probably I would say, uh, I'm a big fan of office space.

Speaker 1: 48:03

Okay.

Speaker 2: 48:04

Yeah, okay, space. Does anybody know that Mike judge?

Speaker 1: 48:07

Yeah, office space is great man. Yeah, that's a great movie, all right.

Speaker 2: 48:13

Yeah, I quote movies all the time, and and the shining.

Speaker 1: 48:16

Oh yeah, that's the Classics classics, all right. Um, let's see, have you ever gone viral online?

Speaker 2: 48:26

Have I ever gone viral online? What do we consider viral? Where's the threshold?

Speaker 1: 48:32

Something that has taken off online unexpectedly.

Speaker 2: 48:37

I have Not, but there is hope. I mean, you know it's funny about, about music. I kind of have already gone viral, but I went viral. I went viral analog. Yeah, yeah because it's, it's amazing to think and I I am so grateful that I mean millions of people have heard my music and and maybe even today, maybe how many people are watching the blade.

Speaker 1: 49:04

You know right.

Speaker 2: 49:06

I mean, it's just amazing that my music Uh is out there in the world and you know I'm just fortunate to have that. So, uh, I don't know if that answered your question, yeah man.

Speaker 1: 49:17

Yeah, most definitely. I love that answer actually. All right, brother, all right. And the last question I ask all of my guests on the drunken worm podcast is who is your favorite disney character?

Speaker 2: 49:30

That's a good one. Uh man, I I have always liked Little jiminy cricket vibe.

Speaker 1: 49:43

I'm going deep. Nice, nice. There's a great DJ out here, I can tell you why?

Speaker 2: 49:47

but I I've always liked him. I just always liked his storytelling.

Speaker 1: 49:51

Yeah, that's great man. There is a great DJ out here in the bay area called jiminy cricket. Um back in the early 2000s and he was a great storyteller of music. You know um a really good mixer, uh great uh turntable, turntable stylist, um Good scratch.

Speaker 2: 50:10

You know kind of, so can I put you? Can I do it to you now?

Speaker 1: 50:13

Yeah, man, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 50:15

Here it is rapid fire.

Speaker 1: 50:16

All right I always love to.

Speaker 2: 50:17

I always love to ask this question. Okay, sir, and you can use this in in every day, any day, with your clients, or whatever. But uh, just as a tail end. Okay, if you could be god and you could change one thing, what would it be? I'm of course I already have my answer.

Speaker 1: 50:42

If I could be god and I change one thing um anything, wow. It's a head scratcher right you know, I would probably, I would probably make fentanyl A drug that was never created and could never be created.

Speaker 2: 51:03

Uh, okay, that's not a bad, that is not a bad. Uh, that is not a bad juxtaposition right. Would you like to know my answer?

Speaker 1: 51:14

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 51:16

I would say, uh, you know to to give humankind More of a sense of purpose, or what their meaning is, you know, or what they're, you know what's what's my purpose in? Yeah, because I think if a lot of people have that, but I mean, you know, it's also one of those things that, hey, it's fun to find out what your purpose is to, right.

Speaker 1: 51:43

So yeah, oh gosh, that's a really good question.

Speaker 2: 51:47

I like that question Um wow, feel free to use it.

Speaker 1: 51:51

Yeah, that's deep man, that's real deep. Yeah, wow, okay cool.

Speaker 2: 51:57

You're gonna be thinking about that.

Speaker 1: 51:59

Yeah right, I'm gonna go to work and ask all my co-workers, like, if you could be god, what would you change? Like Right, um, you know, huh okay. Okay, yeah Well, cool brother. Well, because it's been amazing having you on the show. I really appreciate you taking the time this morning and and coming on and and talking shop with me and talking recovery with me and and letting us get to know you a little bit.

Speaker 2: 52:23

So yeah, and if I could just push the show, this pink cloud, just go to this pink cloud, calm, please hit subscribe. Um, and that's the youtube channel. But we're on all other streaming formats and all we're doing is just trying to help man. It's what I like to say. It's infotainment.

Speaker 1: 52:43

Yes, infotainment, oh, I like that. I think we've just created a new genre. That's great, man Well awesome.

Speaker 2: 52:55

Well, thanks for having me on man. I really appreciate it so and definitely we will stay in touch after the ship.

Speaker 1: 53:00

Yeah, most definitely.