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Making aligned choices in business isn't about only doing the things that set your soul on fire. Business success still requires living in the dirt before you can make it to the dreamy clouds, but social media these days are making it seem like we should just manifest our business out of thin air and that if we are "hustling" we are doing it wrong.
In today's episode we uncover the truth behind why we are all "death-gripping" our businesses and how to learn to let go as you tap into your feminine energy. We also talk about the necessity of maintaining your version of the masculine mentality around showing up and getting shit done. Its a balance that's difficult to master, but with practice (and our suggestions) we think you'll be feeling more inspired to stop comparing yourself to the millionaires and their yachts and settle into the exact place you are in your journey right now with confidence and ease.
Connect with us:
Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please leave us a short review on iTunes.
If you found value in our content, we'd love to connect with you. Please email us at landon@l2fitness.com to see how we can help you refine your message and design your business to support the life you want to live.
Click Here To Join The Momentum Lab Community!
Making aligned choices in business isn't about only doing the things that set your soul on fire. Business success still requires living in the dirt before you can make it to the dreamy clouds, but social media these days are making it seem like we should just manifest our business out of thin air and that if we are "hustling" we are doing it wrong.
In today's episode we uncover the truth behind why we are all "death-gripping" our businesses and how to learn to let go as you tap into your feminine energy. We also talk about the necessity of maintaining your version of the masculine mentality around showing up and getting shit done. Its a balance that's difficult to master, but with practice (and our suggestions) we think you'll be feeling more inspired to stop comparing yourself to the millionaires and their yachts and settle into the exact place you are in your journey right now with confidence and ease.
Connect with us:
Did you enjoy the episode? If so, please leave us a short review on iTunes.
If you found value in our content, we'd love to connect with you. Please email us at landon@l2fitness.com to see how we can help you refine your message and design your business to support the life you want to live.
Hey there and welcome back to the unfiltered coach podcast. I'm your host Laura and I'm here with Landon and today we are addressing our question that we got from one of our listeners about how they're getting really frustrated with the advice that they're[inaudible]. I've been seeing around trusting your gut and following your heart when they're just starting out in business and this is not helping them make money. So we wanted to dive into this topic and combine it with our perspective around how the industry is shifting from a masculine energy to more of a feminine energy and the positives and negatives we see in this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think this is going to be a lot of fun to dive into because you'll, even if we go back to the school system, you start to see people that are being told to, you know, go find a major to, you know, go and find a career. And there's people that just don't know what they want to do. And I think when you start to come back to being told to, you know, chase happiness and doing these sorts of things, we don't always know what that means exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's kind of disempowering because there's no tangible action steps always associated with it and so I loved her perspective and I loved her question because she was like, Laura, there's these million errors telling me to trust my gut and follow my heart and rainbows and butterflies are going to appear and I'm going to make all this money. I just have to be patient. And she's like, I have rent to pay. Like I can't just wait for my success to show up on my doorstep because I followed my heart and I loved that because it's so true. We're seeing such a shift towards the feminine energy in business, which I love, but it's also a little bit uncertain and not always actionable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100% I think you nailed it on the PR on the head there. When you said it's not actionable, trusting your gut, following your passion, you know, doing what makes you happy. Well that might be playing video games. You know, there's not always a tangible step. And I think it's very easy to speak in, you know, kind of in a philosophical fashion with a lot of this stuff. And it doesn't really give you guidance. It may inspire you, but it doesn't necessarily give you direction all of the time of what you actually need to do. What that next step is. Okay, I'm going to follow what makes me happy. Cool. I'm gonna go take a nap. Why do I do? Yeah. So, and not everybody, and we have to understand that not everybody in this moment is going to know what the overarching vision is for them at this point in time.
Speaker 1:Totally agree. Totally agree. I think it's important to understand that we need to have a balance of both the masculine and the feminine side to business and to life. And I just want to back up real quick and dive into what masculine and feminine even really means because when we're speaking about energy you bring to your business, I think most recently we've seen this shift towards living in abundance and following your, uh, what your heart is telling you and living in alignment and making choices from that place, which is awesome. Previous to this there was a massive masculine push around hustle and grind and show up and work 15 hours a day and do what it takes to get to your success and also great. And I think that because people swing to one end of the pendulum or the other is where they get into trouble and we really kind of just need to meet in the middle and have a good balance of both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree. When you, you know, when you read me the question, the person that immediately jumped into my mind was Gary V and I think, you know, from a large public standpoint, I feel like he has a very large platform and a message that really fits this question very, very well for years and years. And years he was known for the hustle. And recently over the last year or so, his message has taken a big one 80 into happiness, positivity, gratitude, you know, passion. But when you really get down to kind of the intricacies of his message, he has always been talking about that. But for a very long time he was very pushing you forward into doing the work. Yeah. And I think this is kind of where you have to find, you know, a little bit of a deeper understanding of what is being told with these messages because the polarizing effect of the opposite ends of the spectrum. It's the, yeah, the extremes are what get us in trouble. But sometimes it needs to be the extreme that's told to somebody to actually get them to take action. So if you told someone that, okay, in order to be successful, you should, you know, structure your day and like actually do some things. But when you like preach that you need to hustle, you need to bust your ass. If you tell someone to work 16 hours, maybe they'll actually work eight. Do you know what I mean? So it's, you know, that extra push might actually get that person to take the first step. Right. But it gets taken to the extreme and then everybody is kind of drawn into that and then they find themselves almost too far gone.
Speaker 1:Right, right. Totally agree. I think we need to pull back from both ends of the spectrum and and start to like pull from the hustle side and the masculine energy inside of taking messy action, being willing to take risks, putting yourself out there, being relentless, being resourceful. Like I sort of see those skills and traits as a masculine energy and also pulling from your feminine side and going, does this align with what makes me happy? Does this fit into the life I want to live? Do I feel good doing this or is this just burning me out? Like really tapping into yourself I think is the message there and understanding that in the beginning you're going to have to do things you don't love. You're going to have to like, you can't just start a business and expect it to be rainbows and butterflies from the beginning. And I think this is exactly where I'm messaging online now is really negatively affecting new coaches because they come into this space and they're like, I'm only making decisions from a lot from an aligned place. I'm only working with my ideal clients. I'm chasing my flowy free life and if it doesn't fit into that, then I'm not doing it. And you, you're shooting yourself in the foot, you have to get messy, you have to get dirty, you have to live in the dirt for a bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. The, the message now has almost created a false perception that it's not hard. Whereas before when it was very hustle grind, you knew it was going to be hard. You knew what you're expecting. Yeah. But then people started to expect that feeling like shit all the time. It was the normal.
Speaker 1:Right. And that's wrong. Yeah. You don't have to, you don't have to feel like shit all the time. You can apply that hustle mentality but also balance it out with self care and you know, holding space for what feels good in your life and understanding where you're at and meeting yourself where you're at, but also knowing where you're going and what you want to work towards.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing and you know, we need to understand both ends of the spectrum. We need to understand where we're at in our business, where we're at in our journey. Yes, when we're in the early stages, we can't expect that hustle mode to last three weeks or a month. It might last a few years, but you need to understand what the overall vision is, what you're working towards, and even if it's foggy, you need to have something that you're working towards,
Speaker 1:right? A feeling or an idea of the life you want to live, even if you don't know how your business is going to support that yet. Like what do you see for yourself in 10 years? Where are you? Who are you with? How are you spending your days? And just having that vision in your mind can help you start to make aligned choices but still be okay living in the dirt like we said, and really just pushing for what you want and not allowing this idea of only being allowed to make choices from an aligned place to cloud your judgment around getting shit done. Right. I think that's one of my biggest takeaways for people who are sort of caught in this pendulum is what are two to three strategies that are going to be your major players in moving your business forward right now? Maybe try and break it into like a six month period or a 12 period. What are two to three major strategies that you are going to triple down on? Because I think what happens is people in the beginning when you're talking about, okay, great, I want to build this business, I want to do it from a place of alignment, but I also have to pay my fucking bills. They aren't sure what to do because alignment isn't paying their bills yet yet. Right? So choosing these two to three strategies and committing to consistency there will prevent you from hopping around to all of these random strategies and shooting yourself in the foot. Because you're doing that from a place of scarcity. It's almost like a panic, right? Oh my God, I have to pay my bills and this like meditation, manifestation, alignment shit isn't working for me yet, so I'm going to try this and then I'm going to try that and then I'm going to try that and it, it clouds our focus and it pulls our clarity from us. So I think chasing alignment while also ruthlessly pursuing those two to three key strategies consistently over a long period of time will get you where you want to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree. I agree. And I think we see this with people in the early stages of their business. Yes. The most difficult concept to get across is patience with execution of the basics. Yeah. And you know, I was just jotting down conscious patients. Yeah, you need to be patient enough to put the time in on the things you know will work. But you have to be aware and conscious enough to not waste time on something that isn't working. Right. So we've talked to people that, you know, they understand that outreach is important for their business, but they will send 10,000 shitty DMS and then continue to complaint over and over and over again that it's not working. But they needed to refine the strategy. But they weren't conscious and aware enough to do that. They just kind of kept checking the box and hitting their head against the wall with something that quote unquote should work. Right. But their intention behind it wasn't where it needed to be. So you need to be conscious and patient to be able to execute. Yeah. I think it's so, so important, especially when you're getting going. Yeah. You have to execute.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I think that's where you can also start to tie in that feminine energy. Like you have to execute, you have to take action, you have to do the strategies that kind of suck in the beginning. But there's a million strategies. You guys, there's so many that you can use to grow your business. So maybe choose two to three strategies that you enjoy a little bit. You know what I mean? Like you don't have to hate it if it's not working for you. Move on from that strategy in pick one to triple down on. That's actually going to bring good energy to the table. Right? If you're showing up just to check the box, that's probably not a cornerstone strategy for you. Or you need to adjust your mindset around it and pull your head out of your butt and actually start executing with the energy you need to so that you can make that strategy successful.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You can't just not do it because it's hard. So often we're simply drawn and distracted away from the thing that we should be doing. Yeah. We want to do what's easy. Yeah. We want to do what's comfortable. We don't want to be uncomfortable. We don't want to leave our bubble, but that's where growth happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah, totally agree. I think it's just, it's really valuable to become more self aware around that. Like what's feeling good and if something's not working, take the time to look back on yourself like what am I doing wrong? That's maybe something that I can personally adjust because 9.99 times out of 10 the strategy isn't broken. Right. It's you that you need to reflect back on and say, okay, is this a good strategy for me or do I need to try something else? If it is a good strategy for me, but it's not working, what do I need to adjust mentally or emotionally so that I can be more invested in this and actually make this possibly work better. Right. It's just a whole iterative process.
Speaker 2:I agree. I agree. And if you aren't sure, simply ask for help. Yeah. There's so much free information. Information on these strategies is not the issue. If you're in our community, we'll tell you the strategy, you need to use it. That's not the issue. Yeah. You know that information is out there. It doesn't cost any money. Yeah. Having somebody walk you down the path and guide you and hold you accountable is what costs you the money. Yeah. Because we know information isn't the issue. If you look at weight loss, the information is out there. Yeah. You know, every research is Mike. Most of them are freely available. The information is out there. It's the accountability and implementation of it that is the most difficult part about it. But I also want to, you know, caveat this with, you know, and even Gary V says it, if you are, you know, a stay at home mom or dad working, are you working nine to five and you make 40 grand a year and you're happy you've won. Yeah. So I also think it's important to understand what you're working towards, what fulfills you. Because a lot of this it's, we kind of have these unrealistic expectations. Some people feel that if they're at a certain level, that regardless of if they've checked the boxes of what they need to have, that it's still not good enough. So I think it's important to kind of have these evidence markers or success markers of what we're actually working towards. Yeah. Because sometimes we're a lot closer than we actually think.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree with that. I think it's valuable to reflect back on that quarterly, like where am I at? How am I feeling? Because it gets, it's so easy and we have got caught up in this so many times where we just lose our way and we just get caught up in execution. And that's the masculine side where it's just head down, hustle mode and we forget to pick up every now and again and say, Whoa, I'm actually really proud of myself. Like we're doing really good, we're doing great things. I feel really good inside of what we're building or the complete opposite, right? I need to adjust something. I'm not feeling good. Right? And so constant reflection and iteration in that way is also massively important. But I think that also ties into like being okay with letting go of the desk grip that you have on your business to allow yourself permission to reflect on these things and be open to the answer. That sucks, right? Like we, we for so long had a massive death grip on our business and we were just like, hustle, grind, push, push, push. Until one day we let that grip go and realized, okay, things need to change. Like this isn't actually what we want anymore. And that's a hard answer to come to because that requires a lot of backpedaling and iteration and mindset work and you know, it's a shot to the ego.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I think you have to be willing to take a step back to take two forward. Yeah. I think it's so important because we expect there to be this linear, you know, progression of our business. We expect that we're just going to continue to make more each month. You know, and it's no different than a weight loss client. Just expecting the scale to go down in a linear fashion. And you know, that's why we track weekly averages. That's why we zoom out and look month to month, not week to week cause it might go up one week and then the following week. But then when we look over the last three months, they're actually down a significant amount of weight. There's always going to be so many more factors that are coming to play here. But we need to realize that sometimes the vision changes. Yeah. You know, for so long we thought that we wanted to open up multiple facilities, create, you know, create a community in our city. And that changed at that point in time, everything we were doing and creating was building that and then it changed. And that's totally fine. Yeah. We have to understand that what we're working towards is going to evolve. We just simply have to allow that process to happen. So I think the biggest thing is you have to take ruthless action. You have to be patient and know that, you know, quote unquote, and you can put it in whatever eloquent terms you want. It's going to suck for a while. Like it's not necessarily going to be super fun to get your first 10 clients. No, I'm sorry. Some people it might happen a little bit easier. Some people are going to have to, you know, fight and grind for every single client. Just like we, everyone's had that weight loss client that feels like they look at, you know, carbs and gain weight. Yeah. You know, there's people that just have to grind a little harder than others, but if you're truly in this for the right reasons, you have to be willing to, but you have to be aware enough to periodically check in and reflect on what's going on. Yeah. But you have to be willing to grind, but you also have to understand that you can't do that forever and you have to check in with yourself and understand where you're going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. I think that's the perfect way to explain how to let that death grip go because it's so easy just to get caught up in never giving yourself room to breathe and never giving yourself the opportunity to say this doesn't feel good anymore, or something needs to change. And so I love what you said about that. I think that's perfect. Um, ultimately, like you said, the big takeaway is be willing to put in consistent effort on two to three strategies that are driving your current vision forward. But check in every three or four months with yourself. Give yourself the ability to let that Deathgrip go. How are you feeling? What's working, what's not working? What are you measuring your success by? Do we need to pull yourself away from being influenced by certain people online so that you have the ability to come back to that alignment? So it's finding that balance between your masculine and your feminine energies and how you're allowing that to guide your business, but it's not living in the clouds thinking that just manifesting your business is going to actually make it appear for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Because we've seen people that have been so enthralled by the masculine side of things where it's just hustle, hustle, hustle, get, get a client, get a client, get a client, get a client. And even with monetary success, they're not happy. They stopped doing what they're doing, they get burnt out, they stopped showing up, and then they come to us and we need to take a step back. We need to work on other things so that that side can accelerate on its own as almost a byproduct. But we've also worked with people in the past that have been so far on the other side of the spectrum that they have no clients but they're not almost willing to just grind a little bit. So anything. So what I think that comes down to though is I don't necessarily think it's wrong. No, I think you simply have to become aware with the tradeoff. Yeah. If you're not willing to do X, you can't expect Y. And if you're not willing to do X and you don't expect Y, then I'm not mad. Yeah. So I think, but you, the person has to be aware of it and be okay with it. And when the awareness isn't there, then it's very difficult. Cause you're kind of in this, in this tug of war trying to get them to understand you can't just have them keep hitting their head against the wall. But if they're aware of it, then it's okay because there's going to be a tradeoff. Yeah. You know, I was talking to, you know, if you're, you know, you want to not work on weekends, right. But you're not willing to put in extra hours through the week. Yeah. Well then you have to accept that your business may grow slower. Yeah. If you're okay with that, perfect, then that's fine. But if you're not okay with it, something has to change. Right. And I think that's the biggest thing. I think that's where this big, there's this big dilemma in terms of, you know, strategies and this and that and the other thing because people are trying to put up these, I'm not going to do this because that doesn't align with me, but they're not willing to accept the trade off of it.
Speaker 1:Right, right. I love that. I think on the complete opposite and to people who are so used to that hustle mode, like this is totally me to a T started our business from that hustle perspective and is now trying to transition more to an aligned place. It's really hard to live in that alignment all the time without feeling guilty, without being hard on ourselves, without feeling like I need to work more. Right. Cause that's just so ingrained in us. And I catch myself in this pattern constantly where if I have like three hours free in an afternoon and I want to take a nap and I totally could, um, I feel bad about it. I'm like, no, I'm just going to fill my time doing random shit because that makes me feel better than actually living in that space that I fought so hard to create. Like I wanted to forever build a business where I could just work when I wanted and not work when I didn't want to and you know, live my life the way I wanted to live it and take a nap if I want and, right. But when you get there, if you're still used to hustle, hustle, hustle, all the time, it's really hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree. I think it's so, it's very common for us to see people that are working towards that freedom but won't actually allow themselves to take it once they get to the point where they can.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah, totally. I feel that a lot. It's a constant work in progress to really come to a place where I have to consciously tell myself, you can do this. Like you're allowed to take an afternoon off and go meet a friend. Like this is what you spent 10 years working towards. Take it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if you're not at a point where you can do that but you want to do it, just understand you won't get all of those things done and accepted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's okay. Like lose the guilt and just meet yourself where you're at. You're choosing like you have a choice, you're choosing one over the other. So if you're going to choose to go meet friends for lunch instead of working on your business, just be okay with it. How's the new day?
Speaker 2:And then just understand what would you tell your client? Yeah. If your client wanted to have a piece of cake at a birthday party and it didn't line up with their immediate goals, you would tell them half the cake. Just understand it's okay, don't feel guilty about it. Have the cake. You might not progress that week, but that's fine. In the grand scheme of things, we have to start taking that and implementing it. In our business.
Speaker 1:It's almost like flexible, flexible business. Right? Like have the cake, but then tomorrow maybe like skip the carb at lunch. Right. So make up for it. You know, you can do that in business too. If you want to take that afternoon off. Maybe you work Saturday morning when normally you want to take your weekends off. You can't have both potentially if you want to keep progressing that week or just come to terms with the fact that you're not going to progress that week. Right. I think we need to come to terms with what is my nonnegotiable and how can I make that work with my life and being flexible to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It was just, you know, we were, we're currently undergoing a development of like eight courses and we wanted to start the redevelopment of that back in July. Yeah. And the day we started, it just was not in the cards and we beat ourselves up a lot for it until we just said, we're pushing this right now. Yeah. And then it's okay. Yeah. Pushing that, what that means is now those are not going to be done for an additional two or three weeks from when we wanted to have them launched. Yeah. But we accepted and understood that fact and that's the most empowering thing you can do is make a decision and not feel guilty about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally agree. I really love this topic. This is a great one. Thank you. To my client or my follower who suggested this one. This was an awesome one and I think so many people can relate to this because there's so much polarizing information out there and opinions out there about this and I think just like everything in life, the truth is in the middle, like the truth is not in the polar ends of any spectrum. The truth lies in the middle. And if you are more of like a masculine type energy right now, if that's how you're approaching your business, how can you start to bring a more feminine energy in? Do we need to start doing a brain dump of what your future should look like and what feels good to you and how you want to live in alignment and what that even means for you. Or if you're living this flowy life right now but you're not moving your business forward as fast as you want. What masculine energies do we need to bring into your lifestyle so that you can start taking more action and start building momentum there so that you don't just end up leaving this business behind because it never became financially feasible for you to live the life you were trying to live. Right? So just meeting yourself where you're at and having a really hard conversation with yourself would be step number one and then two, like if this business is not financially supporting you right now and you have bills to pay and you have rent to pay and like this is, this is causing you more stress than anything. I don't think there's anything really wrong with getting a part time, job, part time, temporary aid to support you financially to remove that stress so that you can build your side hustle. You know, there's financial stress is so exhausting and all consuming and so if you can alleviate that in a small way, I don't think there's any shame in that. I think that there's a lot of shame around it online where you have be all in and if you're not, you're not taking it seriously and whatever. Right. I don't believe that. I think like do what you have to do to feel good so that you can take ruthless action and bring your best energy to your business and then just know that that's not a longterm play for you and have an end date. Like I'm going to get a part time job until January, 2020 and then I'm giving my notice. I'm going to give myself that grace period. Right. Or whatever you need to do. But I think that would really help people just kind of open themselves up to what is possible for them.
Speaker 2:I agree. You just have to give yourself the space to figure it out and do what you need to do to make it happen. And there's nothing wrong. We need to remove this facade of things. This is the right way or this is the wrong way. No, it's not black and white. We need to remove the dichotomous thinking around our business. Yeah. But you know, I think just if you can come back and take away just one thing from this episode, I think you're going to be far better off than you came into it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Thank you so much for being here. If you want to be a part of our little family, head over to momentum lab.community and request to join. We teach in there all the time on topics we don't cover on the podcast. And so we would love to see you in there and just continue this conversation. We'll see you soon. See ya.[inaudible].