6. Feeling Stuck in Your Healing Business? These 8 Saboteurs Might Be Why

When you're building a business that aligns with your purpose, your inner world will speak.

Sometimes loud. Sometimes subtle.

Often through patterns that have kept you safe in the past… but now quietly hold you back.

In this episode, I’m sharing 8 inner saboteurs I often see show up for myself and my clients, like overwhelm, perfectionism, hustle mode, and the student, and how we can gently meet them, learn from them, and start working with them instead of fighting against them.

This is for you if you’re ready to create more flow in your work and life, without forcing, fixing, or pretending. Just honest awareness, aligned steps, and spacious support for who you are becoming.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro
03:25 - Saboteur 1
05:38 - Saboteur 2
06:49 - Saboteur 3
07:54 - Saboteur 4
08:59 - Saboteur 6
10:55 - Saboteur 7
11:39 - Saboteur 8

Let’s name what’s in the way, so you can remember what’s possible.

And if you’d love extra support, the priority list for my Healing Business Online Foundations is now open.

It’s a beautiful offering designed to help you launch your healing business online with a website, emails, and booking system that attracts clients so you can do what you love and get paid for it.

Join the priority list here: www.fridakabo.com/foundations

Watch the video version on my YouTube channel: Healing Business Podcast with Frida Kabo

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 3:25 Saboteur 1
• 5:38 Saboteur 2
• 6:49 Saboteur 3
• 7:54 Saboteur 4
• 8:59 Saboteur 6
• 10:55 Saboteur 7
• 11:39 Saboteur 8

Transcript

0:00

When we trying to do something new, when we are building business, when we're doing the things that we really want in life, well, things come up. We see patterns, and we're holding ourselves back because it doesn't feel safe. It's new. Our brain is lazy. It wants things to stay the same. So it's trying to help us and trying to get things to stay the same. So our sub saboteurs are popping up. Like a Jack in the box and telling us, no danger. Danger. Don't do that. When in reality it's just because we haven't been there before. So it does feel a bit scary and that's okay. Welcome to Healing Business, the podcast for healers, practitioners, and intuitive business owners who are ready for more flow, abundance, and impact. I'm your host, Frida Cabo business coach, healer and bridge builder. I'm a suite living in the bush in the far north of New Zealand, supporting clients around the world to grow businesses that truly work for them. In this space, I share conversations, practical insights, and a touch of magic to support you as you step into your next level, whatever that looks like for you. Are you ready? Let's begin. Today I want to talk about self salur, what they are and how they are holding us back, and I want to talk about eight specific ones. But first, what is a self saboteur? A self saboteur is something that is holding us back from doing what we really want. It's those thought patterns or unconscious beliefs that are holding us back from doing what we really want. It's things that we learned when we were kids and it actually kept us safe. So I'm feeling a huge gratefulness towards these self s saboteurs, and I will show you a way of turning it around to become self helpers as well. So why are we talking about this? Well, when we trying to do something new, when we are building business, when we're doing the things that we really want in life, well, things come up. We see patterns, and we're holding ourselves back because it doesn't feel safe. It's new. Our brain is lazy. It wants things to stay the same. So it's trying to help us and trying to get things to stay the same. So our sub saboteurs are popping up like a jack in the box and telling us, no danger. Danger. Don't do that. When in reality it's just because we haven't been there before. So it does feel a bit scary and that's okay. So how can we become aware of these and turn them around to become self helpers? Well, to become aware of them is a great first step. I started working with the self helpers or self saboteurs. When I first went into personal development and my journey of finding what I wanted to do with my life, it was an eyeopener. I understand if you have heard this before, it's not new. It's something that quite a lot of people talking about, but I encourage you to stay open and just stay with me and explore this with me, like there will be some new information that you haven't heard before. All right? So when we look at this, it's actually about putting a name to the pattern of what we are doing. So that we can identify it and also become aware of it. For example, the first one, the first example that I want to talk about is overwhelm, and that's quite common. We go into overwhelm because it protects us, and then we can ask ourselves, what is this protecting me from? If there were no overwhelm, what would I do? Overwhelm is one of those where you just feel like there's too much to do. You dunno where to start. Your nervous system is just overloaded and there's a difference between overwhelm and overstimulation, but also a good distinction to do there is this overwhelm that I'm creating, that I'm choosing maybe, or is this overstimulation because the music is on and the kids are screaming and like, you know, they're mu too much stimulating me, and there's different actions to do that. It's also to become aware of the overwhelm and of the pattern that is coming up for us. One question that has helped me look at this in another way is to see, okay, what is overwhelm? What's the choice? What would I do differently? So overwhelm. If it's a self saboteur, then it's just here to protect me. So we can tell it, well, I don't need protection right now'cause I really want to do this. We can take one step. And it's gonna be safe. Okay, thank you for protecting me, but I'm gonna do this anyway. So really think into what is it showing you when it shows up and what do you need? But most of all, what is the smallest step? And this is something that come back to over and over again.'cause yeah, my selfs, salur and my self helper want me to go into overwhelm to keep me safe. There's always more to do. Right? What if I come back to here and now and take one smaller step that I can do right here, right now, then I would choose something else than overwhelm, right? Sometimes that is to go for a walk in the forest. You don't have to be an action item and more, and it can be just take a few breaths and just relax and then see with new eyes, what is it that needs to be done. Another common. Self saboteur is the perfectionist. What does the perfectionist do? The perfectionist wants everything to be perfect. He's afraid of being judged and, and I'm just saying what comes up for me with this selfs saboteur, there might be other things that comes up for you, right? How is being a perfectionist keeping you safe? We can ask where do I actually need the perfectionist? And we can give it a task. So I want this to be perfect. I. You can focus on that, right? Just play with it. What is something that you really need the perfectionist to do so they can focus on that and you can focus on what you want to do. And also there's the 80 20 rule that I love and that I'm using quite a lot. Is this 80% okay. And if it is, it's okay because no one will notice the rest of the 20%. Is it 80%? Okay? Is it not? Then let's. It can actually be our self helper by keeping us on track and keeping that high quality that we want to have, but that doesn't need to be everywhere. We can just choose where we want to use it. Another one that is quite common is the procrastinator. By giving them these names, we can become more aware of them. The procrastinator waits with everything until the last minute. It doesn't start, if it doesn't have a deadline. It's also trying to keep us safe. At some point, it was really beneficial for us to wait. Maybe we waited and then we didn't have to do it with a procrastinator. We can use that to help us set deadline. We can use the procrastinator as a self helper to really tune into and prioritize what is important in this moment.'cause the procrastinator doesn't want to do anything if we see it in another light. The procrastinator. Might actually help us by having us wait for new inspiration or for something else that is meant to pop up. So it's not always a saboteur. Ask yourself, why am I procrastinating? Is it because I don't want to do it? Is it because I'm waiting for something to drop in? So that's what the procrastinator can help us with. That was three Number four. So the fourth one that I want to talk about today is the hustle mode. That can actually be a selfs saboteur. We go into overworking, overdoing, doing all the things. It can keep us very busy, very productive, but it stops us from doing what we actually want from looking at that bigger vision and taking those biggest steps that we really want to do. Oh, I really need to do that, but I have to do this first. I want to work on my dream, but not today. It's keeping us in the routines. It's keeping us busy. It's keeping us satisfied because we can check things off and do things really out there hustling. If we are not taking those aligned, bigger actions and not allowing ourselves to relax and letting those insights drop in, then it's a saboteur. We can use that effectivity and the hustle to aim towards where we want to go. Also remember that if we want to leave space for new ideas and new visions and new insights to come in, and the sixth one is the people policing. So instead of working on our vision, instead of working on what we actually want to do, we go into people policing mode, answering clients or family, or just doing whatever everyone else is telling us and forget about what we want. Our bigger vision is. That's also protection to stay safe and not doing something that would ruffle the feathers of someone else and putting down that boundary. It is actually teaching us where we need to put down boundaries. This is a pattern that has kept us ourself. At some point, we needed to please someone to get what we wanted or to survive. Now we can become aware of that pattern and see that it's not serving. My highest purpose or the full potential that I'm here to create in this world today, where can I put down the boundary? How can I serve these people in the best way possible? Not necessarily people pleasing, looking at the bigger vision and looking at these things once and for all and see how can stepping into my business, stepping into my purpose, serve my family more than what I'm doing right now? How can I stepping into my purpose, stepping into my business, serve my clients even more? Or how can time for family serve my clients even more? Shift the thinking by really looking at it and turn it around. Like, oh, I don't have time for family.'cause I have to deal with the clients, otherwise they won't be happy. But if we turn that around, okay, I am really taking time for my family right now so that I can serve my clients. Even more. Even better in the future. Set down the boundary and communication that supports that. I could talk more about that, but let's stop there and we have the counterpart to that independence. The independence to do it all by myself. I can do it. I don't have to have anyone else helping me. That's also a type of self-sabotage.'cause we need other people. We need other people to support us in life. It's a community, it's humanity. We need other people to survive and thrive. We can't do it all, all on our own. It's a team sport. And then we can choose how much and and boundaries and stuff. But not getting help is actually self-sabotage. So really look at that independence. Where do you need it and where don't you need it? All right, and the eighth and last one today is the student. I see this with many of my clients and I've been there myself and sometimes still am. We want to learn as much as possible and that's awesome and that's great, but it can also be a self s saboteur. So how is it a selfs saboteur? Well, if you feel like you always have more to learn and if you are always learning, then are you really using what you're learning and, uh, getting out there in the world with your vision and your business and helping people? Not always. So really check yourself there. How much are you learning and is it a self aperture or is it that you actually need that thing that you're doing right now? I'm a life learner myself. We have different stages of learning as well. We learn by learning, learning by doing, and learning by teaching.'cause when we learn and read a book, we learn about it, then we do it. We learn even more by doing it because we have to adjust and all those things. And then we can teach it and then we learn more layers again.'cause we don't have all the same experience. Right. So really with the selfs saboteur, the student. It's a great thing to have, but also check yourself that it's not holding you back from your vision, from doing what you really want. So that was the eight selfs saboteurs that I wanted to talk about today. There's many more, and you can create your own. You don't have to know if it's a self saboteur or not. You can just see, okay, this is what I'm doing. Can I put a name to it and see where it belongs and what it's trying to protect me from? And how can you turn it into some self helper? How can it help you instead? All right, so the questions for today. I've given you a lot of questions already I feel, and and lots to think about. So if you have these self avatars, write it in the comments. If you're on YouTube, go. If you're not on YouTube, head over to YouTube and just write in the comments. If you identify with any selfs, saboteurs, or that I mentioned, or if you have any other that you're working with. How it's your self helper as well. I would love to hear that. Alright, so the questions for today are one, identify, one self soer that is holding you back from what you really want to do. Can you see one, one that I mentioned, or if there's someone else, and the second question is, how is it supporting you? How is it keeping you safe? What is it that this self stro is telling you? And the third question is. How is it actually a self helper? How can you turn it into something that can support you instead? Hope that was helpful. I'm looking forward to hearing from you in the comments. Have a beautiful day. Talk to you soon. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe so you don't miss what's next. And if you're feeling inspired, I'd love for you to share this podcast with a friend who's on the same path. You can also find me on Instagram at Frida carbo or head over to frida carbo.com to learn more about how I support healers and intuitive business owners like you. Until next time, stay grounded. Stay open, and keep trusting your magic.