Ep 13: The hidden family patterns shaping your business

What if some of your business struggles didn’t begin in your business?

In this episode, Frida explores family constellations and the hidden family patterns that can shape how we relate to money, visibility, success, belonging, confidence, and growth.

Sometimes what looks like a business problem has much deeper roots. We can carry experiences, beliefs, stories, patterns, and loyalties that didn’t begin with us. And sometimes, when success starts to arrive, a part of us may choose belonging over success.

Frida explores how becoming aware of these patterns can create more choice and freedom, while also reconnecting us with the resilience, creativity, strength, and resources within our family story.

She leaves you with a simple question:

What might you be loyal to?

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Transcript

0:02

Welcome to the Healing Business Revolution, a podcast about meaningful work, healing, visibility, and building a life and business that works for you. Together, we'll explore what it means to create, lead, and grow in a way that feels sustainable and true to who you are. I'm Frida Cabo, and I'm so glad you're here Hi, and welcome back to the Healing Business Revolution podcast. My name is Frida Karbo, and in this episode, I want to share about family constellations and how they can reveal the hidden family patterns shaping your business. After completing my facilitator training and now facilitating constellations for a few years, I've noticed the power of it, and just seeing the patterns that keep appearing. Whether someone comes because they're struggling with money, visibility, confidence, pricing, burnout, or grow their business, very often the challenge isn't the business itself. Sometimes the business is simply revealing something much older. And today I'd love to explore that idea with you and to introduce you to that idea. So if you've never heard of family constellations before, don't worry, you don't have to understand everything today. I simply invite you to stay curious. So in family constellation, we look at the different patterns that are showing up in our lives and looking at the loyalties of where they belong. And if we translate that into a business constellation, well, just like the family is a system, the business is also a system, so we can apply the same things there. And quite often, what comes up in our family system also comes up in our business system. And sometimes I know I went into representing someone's boss, for example, and I really felt like her mother. So we also tend to recreate our family in our business or what we're lacking in our family in our business. It's really good to be aware of these things. A business constellation isn't about predicting the future or analyzing your marketing strategy. It's a way of exploring the hidden relationships, loyalties, and unconscious patterns that influence how we show up in our work. Because none of us start our business with a complete blank slate. We all carry experiences, beliefs, stories, patterns, loyalties, and many of those things didn't begin with us. Family Constellation invites us to gently ask, "What else might be influencing this?" And it's not to find blame and make it not our own fault, but it's to create that awareness, because once we see the patterns, we have more choices. So there are certain themes that comes up over and over again, like money, visibility, success, belonging, loyalty. At first glance, they seem like business problems."I can't seem to raise my prices." "I know I should be more visible, but something stops me." "I've reached a certain level, and now I keep sabotaging myself.""I work constantly, but never quite feel safe." These can absolutely involve practical business skills, but sometimes they have much deeper roots. So imagine two children growing up in the same family. Money's always tight. Their parents worry about bills. There are arguments about finances. The children hear things like, "We can't afford that. We have to be careful. Money doesn't grow on trees." One child quietly decides, "When I grow up, I'm gonna make sure my family never has to experience this again." They become ambitious, hardworking, successful. Building wealth becomes a way of creating safety. And the other child experiences the same home but reaches a completely different

conclusion: 3:57

"Money creates stress. Money changes people. I'd rather have less than lo-lose my connection with the people I love." So as an adult, they may undercharge, avoid growth, or unconsciously step away whenever more success begins to arrive. Same family, same experiences, two completely different relationships with money, and neither response is right or wrong. They're simply different ways of trying to create safety and belonging, and the same can happen with visibility. Perhaps somewhere in your family history it wasn't safe to stand out. Perhaps being seen meant criticism or exclusion or danger. Your nervous system may still carry that wisdom today. So every time you go to post on social media, record a podcast, launch an offer, speak on stage, a part of you quietly says, "Maybe it's safer if we stay invisible." Not because you're lazy, not because you lack confidence, because another part of you is trying to protect you. And sometimes people genuinely want success. They've invested in courses. They know exactly what to do. But every time things begin to grow, something happens. They procrastinate. They change direction. They stop showing up. They convince themselves they need another qualification. It's easy to think, "What's wrong with me?" But what if the better question is, what might I be loyal to? Because in many family systems, belonging has always been more important than success. If becoming more successful feels like leaving your family behind or becoming different or somehow creating distance, your unconscious mind choose belonging every single time, even when your conscious mind desperately wants to grow. And I really want to emphasize something. Family constellations are never about blaming our parents or blaming our ancestors. They were shaped by the system they belonged to as well. Most parents did the very best they could with what they had. This work isn't about finding fault, it's about understanding, because awareness creates freedom. And one of the beautiful things about constellation work is that it's not only about uncovering what's difficult, not only about focusing on fixing or what's the trauma, it's also about reconnecting with what supports us. Perhaps your grandmother carried extraordinary resilience. Perhaps your grandfather had incredible creativity. Perhaps generations before you survived things you can't even imagine. Those strength lives in your family story too. Constellations help us reconnect with those resources, not only the burdens. One thing I hear is, "My parents weren't entrepreneurs. I don't have anyone in my family having their own business." But looking back on all your ancestors, you probably had some. And- We can really tap into that resource, and maybe there was something happened there that you need to be aware of as well so it doesn't hold you back. For example, my great-grandfather who was an entrepreneur and an inventor, and he and his dad and his brothers started this business and became very successful, and it's actually still alive today. But there was something happening with the brothers, and they fell out. So I can really tap into that entrepreneurial side of my great-great-grandfather and also become aware of the patterns that might hold me back there. And just imagine all the ancestors that stand behind you, all the resilience, the tenacity, the struggles, but also the successes and the love that is there. If they hadn't made it, if they wouldn't have been there, you wouldn't have been here doing what you do now. So feel that support behind you and know that it's there. So I'd love to leave you with a simple reflection. What patterns keep repeating in your life? Not only in your business, but in your relationships, your work, your finances, your confidence. What keeps showing up even when you genuinely want something different? And instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" try asking, "What might this pattern be trying to protect?" Or,"What might I be loyal to?" Notice what happens when you ask that instead. Notice what arises without judgment, just curiosity. Because curiosity creates space, and space creates new possibilities. So if today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to invite you to join one of my monthly Healing Business Constellation workshops. They're gentle, practical, and deeply insightful. You don't need any previous experience. Whether you're navigating visibility, money, confidence, or simply feeling stuck, these sessions offer a different way of understanding what's happening beneath the surface. You'll find the link in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here. If this episode sparked something for you, I'd love it if you share it with another healer or business owner who might need to hear it.

Until next time, remember this: 9:15

some of our business struggles didn't begin in our businesses, but with awareness, compassion, and curiosity, they don't have to define our future. I'll see you in the next episode. Thank you for being here. If this conversation resonated with you, you're welcome to join the Healing Business Revolution Letters for weekly reflections, conversations, and updates. You'll find everything at fridakorpo.com. Until next time.