Episode 10: Birthday Blessings

The host, Femi the Divine, discusses birthday blessings, how to avoid birthday blues, intention setting, celebrating yourself, and truly enjoying your solar return.

Topics Discussed - birthday, holidays, celebrations, champagne, setting intentions, intention setting, joy, peace, happiness, self care, self love, living your best life, ritual, creating rituals, pampering yourself, traveling, etc.

Contact info - Femi the Divine

 IG @divinehealingpodcast

 www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com

 femithedivine@gmail.com

Transcript

0:31

Welcome to the divine healing podcast, where we discuss inner healing, work spirituality, and pushing yourself to live your very best life. I'm your host family, the divine. If this is your first time listening, thank you for pushing the play button. And if you're a returning listener, thank you for joining us again. So this week I'm going to do a little bit of something different. It's an alignment with some of the things that we talk about on the show here, but today's episode is going to be a bit short, I guess it would be considered a mini-sode. But before I get into today's topic, I want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me and provided amazing feedback to let me know that you're listening to the show, you're enjoying the content, you're learning things, and you can relate to what I'm talking. Thank you to everyone who has reached out with feedback. If you've reached out to me directly via text message, email, Instagram, Facebook, wherever it is. Thank you all for listening. It warms my heart to know that you all are finding something valuable in the information that I'm sharing. So I had a birthday two weeks ago. My birthday was on three, three. I am a Pisces through and through, and I was blessed to turn 36. On 3, 3 22. So that's exactly what I want to talk about today, birthday blessings. So I know for a lot of folks, birthdays can be a bit difficult. We think about birthdays as a lot of times, they're starting a new chapter. So a couple episodes ago where we talked about the new year and setting intentions, I talked about how sometimes a lot of people set their intentions versus okay. We do that whole new year's resolution thing. But then for some folks, their new year where they set their intentions, it's actually their birthday because it's the beginning of a new chapter. You're making your solar return or another year around the sun as people like to say, but it's, it's, it's a fresh start for a lot of folks and that doesn't have to be on January one. It can be on your birthday. Really. It can be on any day you want it to be, but I know I've always. New year, new me, that whole thing. But then I also have things that I want to accomplish as it relates to me moving into the next year of my life, into the next chapter. So this year will be chapter three. But on the flip side of that, what happens is a lot of times, as we get close to our birthday, a lot of folks experience what's called birthday blues. I don't know that was something I experienced for years. I think this year, it may be last year when I turned 35 or the first two years where I honestly felt like I'm good, I'm in a good place. I'm feeling content with where I am. And the reason that happens is a lot of times, as we get closer to our birthday, it's a reminder that another year has been. And maybe we haven't accomplished all of the things that we wanted to in the past year. Maybe it's a milestone birthday. Maybe it's dirty 30. Maybe it's. I don't know if there's something for 35. I think my hashtag was 30 fine, but I think I made that up. But 40 is normally a big one. I remember 25 being a big one and a lot of folks do that whole quarter life crisis thing around 25. And normally from millennials, 30 is a big one. There may be 40 as you get older, 50 and so on and so forth. If you're a blessed to see those years, because let's be real about it. Everybody is not blessed with the ability to grow old and the society that we live. But you may actually begin to feel sad as you approach your birthday from an astrological standpoint, there's a period of time before you get to your day of birth, where that is the lowest point of the astrological chart. And it's because you are completing a cycle. So it's that last little bit before it turns over and start again, I'm not an astrologer, but that's something that I've read and I've come to understand on a basic. So it makes sense that folks may be kind of feeling low as you are approaching that, solar return, but you may be thinking about all the things that you didn't accomplish in that past year. You may be thinking about, oh man, I'm going to be 30. And I thought I would be so much further along, or I thought I would be here and I'm not. And I know a lot of times we get caught up in. People's highlight reels. We see everybody on social media and they appear to be doing so well and so wonderful. And they're buying houses and cars and they're getting married and they're have their families and their businesses. And that's not to say that those things aren't true because for many people they are, but also keep in mind that a lot of times we only see the high points in people's lives. And they may or may not broadcast the lows. Now I do know some folks on my timeline who broadcast the lows as well as the highest, but I mean, that's be realistic about it. Most people only are sharing their good news and their high points. So that's why we describe it as a highlight reel. You never really know what's going on in somebody's life. You never really know what's going on behind closed doors. They could be putting on appearances, trying to make themselves look better for the gram. That's why you have to take everything that you see with a grain of salt.'cause you could be sitting over here. Upset tag, man. I thought, you know, so-and-so was doing this and this and this, and you really don't even know if that's the case. Don't get caught up. Comparison is the thief of joy. Do not let it still yours. You want to compare. Yourself to somebody, compare yourself to yourself, prepare yourself to where you were before. And if you're not where it is that you want to be, okay, don't feel bad about it. Let's take a step back reassess and think about what things we need to do to get where it is that we want to go from. Nowhere. It is that we want to go where we need to take some time to sit back and figure that out as well. Sometimes we worry about. Maybe, we don't have any plans. I mean, we don't have any money or maybe, we don't have any friends around to spend our birthday with or a family. We may be worried about spending it alone. Some folks may appreciate taking a self care day and spending their birthday by themselves. But I think in our society, we think birthday, we think party, we think celebration. So that translates to being social and being social. It can be a variety of things we may be thinking about just the number, we may be sanding and well damn, I'm getting old. I'm getting the before. There's a wide variety of reasons why you may be experiencing birthday blues. You could be thinking about past birthdays that went horrible or date birthdays. You didn't get what it was that you wanted out of it. Maybe growing up birthdays were not a memorable experience for you. But remember, as an adult, you have the power to change your life. You can change it into anything that you want to change it into. So, what I want to talk about today is, if you're a person who normally experienced his birthday blues, or you found yourself in that place, which I found myself in that place in plenty of years past, we're going to talk about what you do to change it. We're going to talk about how you shift your mindset as it relates to your birthday. So as opposed to thinking about it as, okay, I'm coming up on another year and I haven't accomplished this and that. Well, let's think about all of the things that you're going to accomplish in this new year, because your birthday is a fresh start. That's the first thing we're going to do. Think about it as a fresh start, because it is, it's a fresh start. It's a new chapter in the book. You're turning a new page. So if last year didn't go so great or didn't go the way you wanted it to what are we going to do? What are you going to do in this next year to change it so that you'll have a better outcome. Sit down and think about that. Write in your journal, reflect about it. If there are things that you need to do, maybe you want to start a business. Maybe you want to learn a new hobby, take some classes, do some research, start to get things in place so that you can prepare to be successful in your new. Remember that your birthday is a time to celebrate. Now, the way that you choose to celebrate may not be the way that somebody else chooses to celebrate. I'm a Pisces. We like to party. Usually if it's my birthday, I'm going to roll up in a sequined dress with Tiara on and I'm going to want to drink champagne and eat all of the foods. That's what I like to do that does not mean that that's how you have to celebrate your birthday. Some people may want to go on vacation. I know with COVID, we haven't really been able to do that. That was something that I wanted to do. I wanted to go on a vacation and then do all of the things that I previously described while on the vacation. But unfortunately with COVID, you know, restrictions and things like that, and just, me not. Feeling comfortable traveling out of the country for my own safety. That was something that got put on the back burner this year, as well as last year, last year when I turned 35, I opted to book a hotel room. So I did a staycation thing and a couple of my girlfriends came over and we had a little party, only invited a few people because again, COVID but I had a good time. I wore my favorite color. If you know me, you know, when in doubt wear pink. Forever faith. And we got dressed up. We all wore pink and we popped bottles and we had charcuterie boards and we have food in the room, was the room was nice. I bought the really nice suite. And we had a good time celebrate your birthday in the way that it is that you want to celebrate it. If you want to invite other people, feel free to invite them. Don't sit around and wait for somebody else to plan something. That was the mistake that I made earlier and probably in my late twenties and early thirties, sitting around, waiting on everybody else, you might end up with nothing, take charge. If you know that you're going to go about set up something, I would set up a birthday dinner. Or I usually like to go to brunch. And I sent out an invite to my friends and whoever came came, and we had a good time something I used to do in my early twenties was I would spend the day pampering myself. So that day was for me and I would go and I would get my hair done and I would get my nails done. I would go out to lunch or go to dinner, or sometimes, someone would take me out as a treat for my birthday. Sometimes I would go by myself. But that was just something that I chose to do on that day. Now that I'm a little bit older, I find that I don't want to spend all day in the nail salon and there's a lot on my birthday cause y'all know that can take all day long. So I usually do those things in the days leading up to it, but I still, maybe do my brunch thing. The past few years, I've been going to the spa on my birthday. So doing a different type of pampering, having a massage, having a facial, having a body scrub, having lunch there, doing the whole spa day thing. So that's been my favorite thing to do. I didn't do it last year because the COVID, I didn't feel comfortable, but the. A few years, that was something that I did. And that was what I opted to do this year. I went to the spa and I sat there peacefully and quietly by myself with my thoughts. And I relaxed turned my phone off. I just enjoy the peace, the quiet and the solitude celebrate your birthday. However it is that you want to people are not mind readers. If there's something that you really wanted you, if you want to do it by yourself, go ahead and set it up. If you want to do it with some other folks. Invite them as a group. If folks want to take you out and do things with you or have a party or whatever, they can do that in addition to, but you take charge of the situation and decide how you will celebrate your birthday in a way that pleases you and will make you the most happy and make you feel good. Something different that I did this year was I actually set an into. So set an intention for how you wrote your birthday to go. I set an intention. I spoken incantation over my candles and my incantation and started with my 36th birthday was beautiful. And then there was some other stuff that I wrote after that. And I don't remember off the top of my head right now, but it was, and I had a great time. I did all the things that I wanted to do and anybody else who wanted to spend time with me, they only enhanced what I already had planned. I spoke up about what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to brunch. So someone made lunch reservations and I went, we did that. I wanted to go out for drinks and for dinner. So a good friend of mine, he made arrangements for that. We went and we did that. One of my coworkers took me out to happy hour. She wanted to go out and celebrate. And so we went and we did that. Normally. I spend the day at the spot. So I did that that day and I treated myself to dinner that evening at a restaurant close by the spa that I normally like to go to when I'm in that area, I treated myself to dinner on that particular day. And then I came home and arrested. Cause I was tired after the spa. It was good and relaxed, I went to someone else's birthday party. One of my coworkers, her birthday was the day before mine. She had a birthday party during that weekend. And I went to that and I had a great time, but I set the intention. That my birthday was going to be beautiful. I set the intention when I spoke it, I spoke it as if it had already happened and it truly came to fruition. Maybe that's something different than you want to try set an intention. You can set it to different anything in life. It doesn't even have to just be your birthday. We've talked about this over and over in these episodes, you set your intentions for what it is that you wish to accomplish. The next thing you may want to try, create an annual birthday ritual. I talked about how I like to go to the spa, but maybe there's something that you want to do every single year. One thing for me was to go to brunch. There's a particular restaurant here in town that I like called me. Shirley's I go there, usually on my birthday for breakfast. Sometimes someone goes with me. Sometimes I go by myself, depends on how I'm feeling that year I go and I. You don't have to do this, but I always order the same thing. I go there for a buy you omelet. It has shrimp. It has andouille sausage. I go there. I have a buy your omelet with grids and I'm a Mosa. That's my annual birthday ritual every year. Find something that can be an annual birthday ritual for you. Like I mentioned a moment ago, maybe it's getting your hair done, getting your nails done, whatever, whatever it is, something that is meaningful to you. Maybe it's trying something new or somewhere you've never been maybe trying a new restaurant. Maybe it's gone on a trip to somewhere. You've never been create a birthday ritual, put it in place, planning in advance for your. You already had plans. Everything is mapped out. It'll go smoothly. You'll have a good time. Maybe it's just spending time with your family and your friends. There's a wide variety of ways to do that. I know in my family, we always went out for birthdays. No matter whose birthday it was, we always went out to. From childhood up until now, I went out to dinner. I went out to brunch with my parents this year. It was my dad's birthday, too. We went out to brunch. In past years, you know, we've gone out to dinner. It just depends on the timing and the situation. But my family birthdays were always a big deal. So we always went out for everybody's birthday. Another thing that is fun to do on your birthday, take advantage of birthday freebies. A lot of times you sign up for mailing lists for stuff, and then you get something free for your birthday. Like Starbucks gives you a free coffee. I know don't get donuts, send you a free coffee. I think Panera send you a pastry. Cold stone gives you a free ice cream. There are all kinds of things that you can sign up for. I know there's a list circulating around the web because I remember seeing it before I signing up for all of those things. But take advantage of birthday freebies. You can go out and have lunch, get you a snack, get your coffee, get your ice cream, whatever, just because it's your birthday. Just remember. And I know this episode is kind of lighthearted and I might sound like I'm all over the place, but just to remember. That your birthday is your own personal holiday. Treat it as such spend that day, doing whatever it is that you want to do. If you work, maybe take the day off. I never, ever, ever work on my birthday. I always take that day off. Even if I took it off this at home, as you know, I'm not working that day. I get one day at a 365 days. That is personal to me. So I'm going to spend it however it is that I want to spend it. If that means shore my ass and turn it up, there are lots of what it means. If it means sitting in solitude and getting some rest, it can mean that too. It is your own personal health. Spend it the way that you want to spend it. I spent so many years and past years being disappointed and being upset because I had expectations of other people on my birthday. I expected my husband to do certain things. I expected my family to do certain things and then opposite left sitting disappointed and upset because I didn't take charge of the day and celebrate it the way that I wanted to don't allow yourself to fall into birthday blues. Every birthday is a blessing. We don't know if we're going to make it to our next birthday. One thing we've learned through COVID I think is life is too short. Too many people have left here in this past two years and they probably did not imagine that this would have happened. Every birthday is a blessing. Every day above ground is a blessing. You get one day to celebrate the day that you were born. So that's exactly what. Celebrate it, however you see fit, whatever that means to you, whatever makes you happy. I'm going to run down the tips real quick. Again. Look at it as a fresh start, as a blank slate as a new chapter, be optimistic, be positive and look forward to the things you're going to accomplish in your new year. Be happy. Don't worry about all of the things that you didn't accomplish and how old you are be happy because every birthday is a blessing. So celebrate each and every one. Think about setting an intention for your birthday plan, things in advance and do what it is that you want to do. Maybe try creating an annual birthday ritual, but most important. Have fun and enjoy yourself. So I know today's episode is a little different than what we normally discuss, but you know, it's Pacey season and anybody who knows me knows I'm always here for Pisces party. My birthday is my favorite holiday next to new year's Eve. And at this point in my life, I'm going to spend it doing the things that are. Last year, I remember having an epiphany about finally feeling like, it was my first birthday alone after separating from my husband and finally feeling like I'm content with where I am. I'm happy. I'm at peace. And I'm looking forward to what 35 will bring. And this year was even better and amazing. Because I made the decision to celebrate myself in the way that I saw fit. So I'm sharing this message with you all so that you can do the same. Don't get caught up in birthday. Blues COVID seems to be ramping down, so we'll have more options and opportunities available to, as I know, some of us. Probably two, maybe three COVID birthdays, where options were limited. I know the first year, right before it happens, I remember going out to brunch with my girlfriends that Sunday on the eighth, and then the 15th I worked at the bar always worked on Sundays for the day party. And that was the last day I worked because on the 16th that Monday, everything shut down. Last year I talked about, I did this vacation and this year I did a variety of things. I didn't go and vacate like I wanted to, but that's not right because next year will be. Once again, thank you all for listening. I hope you found this episode uplifting and it was little different than what I normally do, but thank you for listening. And before I go, I will leave you all with an affirmation. As all I affirm, I will celebrate every single day I have above ground. Thanks for listening. Bye-bye.