Episode 5: Learning to Let Go

The host, Femi the Divine discusses learning to let go of things that no longer serve you. This episode delves into how to determine when to let go. why to let go, and how to let go.

Contact info

IG @divinehealingpodcast
www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
femithedivine@gmail.com

Contact info - Femi the Divine

 IG @divinehealingpodcast

 www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com

 femithedivine@gmail.com

Transcript

0:31

Welcome to the divine healing podcast. I'm your host, Femi the divine. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to today's show. We are now on episode number five, but before I get into today's topic, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has listened over the past few weeks since I released the podcast. Thank you to everyone who sent me their feedback about what they thought. I have to be honest with you all. I was surprised at the. The amount of support I received the comments that I received from you all. Thank you to everyone who sent me a text message who sent me a DM who left me a comment. Who shared the podcast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This obviously is my first time podcasting, so I'm still trying to figure this thing out and also understand that this project was something that I was nudged to do by spirit. It fell out in a divination. It has to do with my destiny in this lifetime, which is to use my voice. A podcast was the avenue. That was provided for me to share what it is that I know with the world. Thank you to everybody who has sent me positive words of encouragement. If you are listening to the show on. Apple podcast on Spotify on any of those platforms that you're able to leave a review, please leave us a review and let me know your thoughts that helps the show to be more visible so that more people can listen. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to contact me. You can send me a DM on our Instagram page. You can send me an email. You can leave me a comment. I will leave the contact information and the show notes so that you all can get in contact with me. And just know that. This has definitely been a labor of love for me and a lesson in obedience, understand that everything that I'm talking about on this show, has been my life. These are experiences that I have lived. Nothing that I discussed on this podcast is anything that I have not personally gone through. I've not personally dealt with. this comes from lived experience. I'm not just on here looking down my nose, spouting stuff. And in the same to oppress people, like you all hear the stories and the anecdotes that I weave in, in these episodes, like this is me. I wanted it to be authentic. I wanted to show to be genuine. And I really just went into share my life experiences in the hopes that it would help someone. I hope that you are understand that. So now let's get into today's topic. Today we are going to talk about. Learning to let go. We're going to talk about learning, how to let go of things that no longer serve us, why we need to do that when to do it, how to go about doing it, when we think about the idea of letting go of things that no longer serve you, and I feel like that's more. Trendy phrases that's bumbling around now. It literally means releasing things in your life that are no longer in alignment with your wants and needs. It could be a person, it could be a place, it could be a situation. It could be a thing. It could be a belief system, but these may be things that we've outgrown, maybe they're things that are causing unnecessary. Pain or heartache or drama or strife, or, you know, just discomfort in your life. Or maybe it's just something that you're choosing that you don't want to deal with anymore. You don't want to keep that particular company anymore. By holding on to things that no longer serve us, we are doing ourselves a disservice. You may be blocking your blessings coming in because you're holding on to this small thing. But until you learn to let go of the small thing, the big thing can't come in. Also, you could be sending the universe mixed messages or spirit mixed messages because you're saying, okay, well I really want this, but I'm over here settling for that. So, so which one do, do you really want? Sometimes we drag our feet and we put off things and we procrastinate and understand that sometimes when you drag your feet and you take too long, the decision is made for you. So that means somebody else makes the decision. And that means that you've now relinquished your control in that particular situation. Why do we not let go of things that have run their course? I think the number one reason is probably fear. We're afraid of the unknown. We're afraid of the discomfort that may come from letting go of whatever it is. If it's a person or a relationship or friendship, maybe a romantic relationship, you may be afraid of being alone. Or you may be afraid of how your life is going to change without that person in it. You may need that person for support. You know, whether it's, physically, emotionally, financially, whatever the situation is. So fear, complacency, laziness, maybe we don't know how to let go. You may be thinking about time invested. Okay. I've been in this relationship X amount of years, do I really want to throw all of that away now? It could be in denial. 10 times we in denial and we don't realize that we need to let go of something we're just too busy holding on too tight, not being committed to your personal growth journey. Sometimes folks just standing there like a deer. Putting others in their needs before yours to know the reason why we don't let go of people, places and things. Sometimes we're not even focusing on what it is that we need or want Richard busy focusing on other people and our needs get pushed to the side. Our ego or pride may be in the way. I think that's self-explanatory and lastly wanting to be in control. But if you really think about it out of all those things that I just listed, they all really sound like excuses. I understand that as we grow and evolve our needs and wants may change, why hold onto things that are no longer in alignment with. Now, some of the things that we're going to talk about in this episode today, as it relates to letting go, you may need to sit down and soul search and think about what it is that you do want before you can even make this decision. And sometimes when you have situations that don't go the way that you planned or the way that you would have liked them to go. While you may not find out what it is that you do want. You may find out what it is that you don't want, so that will help you to become more clear. Some of the things that we may need to let go of toxic people, places and things. You may have family members that are toxic. You may have to back up and take a break from them. Especially if you have people in your family, maybe they were abusive. You may need to just let that relationship go. That also refers to friends. Legacy friendships, you know, that friend that you've been friends with since you were in kindergarten and it's been your best friend for 30 years. Sometimes you grow apart from them. Sometimes you go in separate ways. And I have to admit, I do, like when I see folks that I went to school with, or they'd been friends, since they were small, I think it's beautiful when you can maintain a friendship that long, but sometimes you all just, you grow apart. You don't have anything in common anymore. But you're so busy holding on to a friendship that isn't serving you, and it may not be serving the other person, either lovers, obviously being in toxic romantic relationships. dead end and stressful jobs and really just anything in your life that you feel is not adding value. I know that was the level of measurement that I used when I made my decisions about different things. Is this thing adding value to my life, this not, why am I keeping it around? So why do we need to learn to let go? The biggest thing is to move on with our lives. We're still holding onto things. Causing us unnecessary pain or stress or strife, they're annoying they're outdated, they are time draws any of those things. They're not adding value to your life. You can usher out the old to make room for the new. Sometimes you just need to let the ball drop on something just for some breathing room or some for relief. There's not an alignment with where you're going. I mean, that's pretty self-explanatory I that sometimes we have to let go of things because their blockages or their hindrances to us moving forward by refusing to let go of these things, you are in your own way, you're holding yourself back. We all want to live our best lives, right? Why not change things that we can, why not make decisions that we are in control of so that we can move on and do the things that we want to do. You're probably asking, well, how do I know? It's time to let something go. I'm gonna give you some questions to think about. Some of these are going to apply to people, places, things, situations, et cetera, as far as people go. You already know what somebody's energy is kinda funky or y'all, haven't been vibing like that. And it's like, mm, I don't know if I really want to be friends with them no more or y'all have a falling out or something like that. How does that person make you feel? It could be a friend. It could be a coworker. It could be a family member. It could be a. Partner. How do they make you feel? Well, you know, you have to see them or you have to talk to them. What kind of feelings come up for you? If you're feeling dread? If you're feeling fear, if you're irritated, you don't feel like dealing with them. Those are signs. How did they make you feel inside? Where do those feelings come up for you in your body? Do you instantly feel tense, you know, in your neck and your shoulders and your backs? That's something that is also a sign, how do they communicate with you? Are they mean, are they nasty? Are they disrespectful? How do you feel after having an interaction with them? Are you about to simply no longer on the same page? Maybe what it is that you want, what it is that that person wants out of their relationship has changed. And it's just not the same. That may be a reason for an amicable split. You never know. Are your needs being met? Is it a one-sided relationship? There's the ones out of relationship and you're the person doing all the doing and the giving and the other person is doing all the taking that's imbalance. That's not fair to you. Do you feel that this person or relationship is adding value to your life? What are you getting out of it? Is it a reciprocal relationship? Are you getting out as much as you put in. Are you able to be your whole and complete self with this person? That is a big one for me at this point in my life. If I can't be my whole incomplete. So then we don't need to have a relationship. As far as I'm concerned, as far as situations, places and beings go again. How does it make you feel is this particular person plays the thing causing you stress? If, so why are you still holding onto it? Be honest with yourself. Think about that. You may not even know why, but think about it. As far as belief systems go, are these self-limiting beliefs are these things that are replaying in the loop in your head from when you were a kid, things you were taught by your parents, your teachers, whomever are these beliefs. So in alignment with your personal code. So again, as we grow and evolve, our beliefs and values change. Are these things that you're holding on to for dear life? Are they even in alignment with what it is that you think to be true now, maybe you need to let that go. Let go of archaic ways of thinking. Overall, the next three questions will this person place thing, et cetera, help you to elevate to your next level. If not, maybe holding you back and this time to, I go, next question. Is this person place thing adding value to your life is a relationship reciprocal. If not, might be holding you back is last question. If this person plays your thing impacting your health, your self-esteem or your self worth. Look at the answers to these questions, journal about these things. Be honest with yourself, weigh the pros and the cons of continuing this particular relationship or continuing in this situation, maybe working in this place, whatever it is, weigh the pros and cons carve out what it is that you truly need and want. What are your deal breakers? And then compare the list. Do you feel that the things that you have written down in journaled about are overwhelmingly negative and you don't feel like overall? This particular person plays things. Situation is a good fit for you anymore. That means that it's time to let it go and move on. Letting go and moving on. It's never an easy thing. It just isn't, again, remember sometimes we're scared. Sometimes we don't have a plan in place. Sometimes we don't know what's going to happen from here. Sometimes we're lazy and don't feel like putting in the work of dealing with it. Easier to stay where we're unhappy, moving on is never easy, but it is necessary for growth in our lives. Growth happens in darkness. If you want to get down here in these trenches and do the work that you need to do, be prepared to be uncomfortable. Take your time, read over the things that you've journaled. To decide if it's a situation where you can let it go and move on, or if it can be salvaged, if it can be salvaged, get a plan in place, write it out. If it's a situation where, want to move on, but maybe right now it's not easel for whatever reason, maybe you're in a relationship and you need to make provisions to move, or you have children. You're trying to find a new job, but you want to find a new job before you leave. The one that you're on. Think about what steps you need to take, write them down, get a plan in place. If those are things that you need to do first, take your time and do them because you want to do it right. Or you want to do it with the least amount of disruption to your life. I said all of that to say, just keep in mind that life is too short to be unhappy. None of us came here to settle, to be complacent. Nobody gave it a little miserable ass life. So if you're still holding on to past situations, past relationships, even if you're not even in those things anymore, but you're still mentally holding on to those things. It's timeto let that stuff go. Then people didn't go on and on about their business, that job to hire somebody to feel your seat and you solo. Hemming and hawing about it. Let that stuff go. If you need to write everything down on a piece of paper that you want to release, do that you can take it and you can burn it. You can rip it up. You can burn it and flush the ashes down the toilet. You can take it outside and throw the ashes into the wind. You could throw it into a body of running water. You can take it to a dumpster, however you feel they need to dispose of it. Say a little prayer, say I released whatever it is on this paper, do what you need to do and be done with it. Sometimes mental blocks hold us back more than physical blocks. To be honest with it, mental block, probably holding. A lot more often than physical blocks do. It can be very difficult to retrain your brain. When you have a loop that's been playing for years and for years and for years. And because you have bought into whatever is on that loop. Sometimes that allows us to be in situations that are less than ideal in situations. Where have we been in our right frame of mind? We probably wouldn't have gotten tangled up into, or maybe we would have put our foot down in the beginning. And if some things in the bud, you know, there may, maybe it wouldn't have spiraled out of control. And now you're trying to figure out what it is that you want to do, but understand that holding on to things that are not in alignment with where you're going, that does, this does not make any sense. If I know I'm shooting for the stars. Why I'm still worried about what's going on down here on the ground. We go onwards and upwards, not backwards. I don't know about y'all, but I didn't come here to be mediocre. And neither did you. I'm not going to continue to say in situations where my needs are not being met, where we're constantly arguing and going back and forth where the other person is making demands that their needs are met, but they're not being reciprocal in meeting mine. I've been in situations like that in the past. We probably all have, but at this point in my life, never again. This journey may not meet easy. I understand that you always have to do what's best for you and putting yourself first will always, always be worth it. You are no good to anybody else. If you cannot take care of yourself and if your life is cluttered and full of things that do not make you happy that do not serve. There are not uplifting you that are not propelling you forward, then baby, they got to go. Remember that you have the power to change your life. You can manifest whatever it is that you want in this lifetime, but in order to do so, you must do some things that maybe you don't want to do. Maybe you don't understand. Maybe you don't feel like doing. Maybe you think they're hard, but just know when you come out on the other side, it was. For the greater good. You have to let go of the old, to make space for the new, make the commitment to doing the inner healing work necessary so that you can live your best life. That's the whole point of this podcast. We've talked about this, but we're on episode number five. Make the commitment to your self. We only want people in our lives that are supportive and uplifting who make us feel good. Who cheer us on? Who teach us new things. Again, we only want jobs that are supportive and uplifting, and maybe you got to go ahead and start your own business just to get that going. But at this point in my life, I want everything to come with ease and grace finding what not life full of struggling. Takes back of your life, look at what is working, look at what isn't working, make the necessary adjustments that you need to make. Maybe you can shift some of those things that aren't working around. Maybe you can make some corrections, just like some of these situations that we discussed in this episode. Maybe initially you're thinking that you need to let go of that person, that place, that situation, that. Because it's stressing you to hell out, but maybe after thinking about an assessing the situation, having some conversations with the other party, making some changes and putting a plan in place, that particular connection is salvageable. That's something to think about as well, but you have to get to the point of understanding that this is not working. Something has to give and being able to. Assess that, and then once you conduct your assessment, then you can determine what it is that you need to do from there. So I know this episode is quite a bit shorter than some of the other ones, but for some reason, this was heavy on my mind this morning. I originally had another topic that I wanted to talk about this week, but for some reason, this came to the forum. We've talked about what it means to let go of things that no longer serve us. We've talked about why we often don't let go of things, knowing that they're not in our best interest anymore. We've talked about how do identify when you need to let go of something and the why I gave you journaling exercise that you can do to reflect on the task. We've talked about the process of moving on and that pretty much wraps this topic up how to learn to let go. I hope you found this information helpful. Again, if you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on iTunes on Spotify or Stitcher. You want to send me a message directly. You can do that as well. I will put my contact information. The show notes before I go, I will leave you all with today's affirmation. I affirm I release any and everything that is not in alignment with my greater good. Thanks for listening. Bye-bye