Episode 7: New Year, New Me, New Intentions

The host, Femi the Divine, discusses intention setting, the difference between intentions and goals, and how to use both to manifest your best life.

Contact info - Femi the Divine

IG @divinehealingpodcast
www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
femithedivine@gmail.com

Contact info - Femi the Divine

 IG @divinehealingpodcast

 www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com

 femithedivine@gmail.com

Transcript

0:31

Welcome to the divine healing podcast. I'm your host, Femi the divine. And thank you. Thank you. Thank you for choosing to join us today. This is your first time listening. Thanks for pushing the play button. And if you are returning listener, welcome back. So before I get into today's topic, I just want to again, say thank you to everyone. Who is listening to the show that has provided great feedback. If you have some information that you would like to share with me, I will leave my contact information in the show notes. Please leave reviews on Spotify, on iTunes. Leaving a review helps the show because it allows us to be more visible so that we can be available to more listeners beyond. Also, if you're enjoying the show, when you found something positive that you took away share with a friend, maybe they'll love it too, but again, thank you for all of your support, all of your feedback. You know, like I mentioned previously, this is really a labor of love for me. This was something spirit nudged me to start to share with you all. If I'm able to help others by sharing what it is that I know, then that makes me feel good. So today's topic is going to be intention setting. So we have approached the end of the year. We only have a few more days left and I felt like that was a good time to bring up this topic. A lot of people set, what we know is new year's resolutions. As we roll into the new year, we think about what it is that we want to focus on and accomplish. In January. And how many of us have set new year's resolutions? And then we didn't follow. You know how you say you're gonna lose weight. You're gonna go to the gym. And the gym is all packed with everybody. Who's decided that they're going to get in shape and lose weight in the new year. And then in February, the gym is empty. We've all been in that situation. But I figured this was a good time of year to think about what it is that we want to manifest moving into the new year. And I'm going to talk about the difference between what an intention is versus what a goal is, why you should really be setting both. And then how do you go about doing. So an intention by definition is a thing intended, an aim or a plan. It basically is a commitment to yourself that you're going to do something. So declaration of your focus and it's something that happens in the present moment. Think of it like a mindset, a vibe, a feeling, a big picture, a broad concept. It's really not a guiding principle that you are. Intentionally doing something, something that's internally driven intentions are more about the journey. And the process, whereas a goal is by definition, a goal is the object of a person's ambition or effort, an aim or a desired result. So as you can see, both of those definitions have the word aim and intentions and goals are similar, but I would say they're more like apples and oranges because they are different. The goal is more of the destination of the journey. It's something concrete that you're working toward achieving. There's a stopping point. There's an ending point. Once you have achieved, whatever it is that you set out to do, you've checked off your box when you compare that to an intention? An intention is more, like I said, it's something more broad and it's something that's more. When we think about goals, some of you may be familiar with that acronym smart goals. The S is specific. The M is measurable. The a I've seen a couple of different things listed, actionable attainable, achievable. The R is realistic or relevant, and the T is time bound or timely. So when you're setting a goal, I mean, anybody can just come up with the goal. Let's say your goal is okay, I'm going to lose weight in the new year. Okay. Well, how much weight do you want to do? When do you want to lose it by, are you trying to lose it in three months? Six months by the end of 2022. Okay. How much weight? Okay. 50 pounds. Okay. Is it safe to lose 50 pounds in 12 months? How are you going to lose the weight? Are you going to work out and eat healthy? Are you going to work with a trainer? Are you going to go to the gym or you're going to work out at home? Like these are all things that you have to think about and then. Fall under that smart acronym, because if you really think about it, you've set the goal and it's specific. So I'm going to lose 50 pounds by the end of 2022. Okay. Well, you got your time in there. You got your specific in there. You got your measurable in there with the 50 pounds, the action. So it just that statement, that specific statement that I want to lose. Or I'm going to lose 50 pounds by the end of 2020. You have all of those things in there. The end of 2020 is the timing. If you've thought about how realistic it is to lose, is it safe to lose 50 pounds in a year? Okay, well, there's your realistic and relevant part. That's the, are the actionable attainable or achievable? Is the action of losing the weight? The measurable is the 50 pounds and the specific is the statement itself. If you look at that from an intention PR standpoint. Okay. So we know we want to lose this 50 pounds by the end of 2022. Right? Well, the intention is going to be all of the small things that you do that help you along the process of achieving that goal. If this is my goal for 2022, so when I wake up in the morning, my intention for that day, maybe. To plan my meals for the day or for the week to fix a healthy breakfast, to create a meal plan. My intention may be to go to yoga class, to go for a walk to lift weights. But think about all of the little small things that you may need to do that may not necessarily have an end game. I mean, going to my yoga class you're I can check the box off for that, but eating a healthy diet, there may not be an end point on that. That's a lifestyle change. I don't see people setting the intention to eat healthy. And then later on down the road decided, you know what, I'm not going to eat. That does doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, you may shift and change your diet because you may find that one isn't working for you as well as another, or you want to try new things, but eating healthy. In general would be an intention. Maybe you're eating healthy without the intention to lose weight. It really just depends on how you look at it. But thinking about intentions as the small things that you work toward each and every day, that help you stay on track so that you can achieve your goal. Think of them like small wins. They help you to decide to stay in alignment, allows you to see progress. It keeps you motivated. Intentions are more of an ongoing thing as opposed to a goal being one specific thing you're trying to accomplish sometimes with goals, you may find yourself. Okay. I've set the goal that I know, for instance, when I was giving, before I got married, we were preparing for the wedding I wanted to lose. I think it was 25 pounds before the wedding. So that I could look good in my dress and you know, and the pictures and whatever else. I remember getting to the week of the wedding and I was four pounds away from my goal and freaking out and trying to figure out how I could lose these four pounds. The reality of the situation is this. Was that four pounds really gonna make that much of a difference? Probably not, but I was so stuck in my mind. And so hell bent on, I'm going to lose this 25 pounds that I spent so much time chasing after the goal that I really didn't enjoy the journey leading up to it. I feel like a lot of times when we just set a goal, it's like, you're chasing behind this dangling carrot and you miss the journey and the process because you're so fixated on the end result. But when you set intentions and, and obviously you can use both of these together and are honest and you really should be using both of them together because they go hand in hand. Maybe I didn't get to the point of losing the 25 pounds, but I lost 21, and looking at physical improvements, like obviously I, I looked better with 21 pounds lighter than I did when I started and appreciating the journey. One thing that you can do. Especially when you're working with goals like that, like that's why a lot of times you see folks taking weight, loss, pictures, they do a before and after, or they take pictures along the way, because sometimes it's hard to see your progress with a lot of things, not just weight loss every single day. And if you're looking every single day and you're weighing yourself every single day, keep in mind a watched pot, never boils. There may not even be enough for you to see every single day, but just know that if you keep continuing and plotting and moving forward, you will see. Small wins when you go back and you look at your photos and that type of thing. I think about intentions as being more of the planting, the seed, and then watching the seed grow as opposed to, you know, running behind chasing this dangling carrot. I hope that makes sense. But you should be setting intentions and goals together. Now, is it possible to have an intention without an end game or a goal? Yeah, I mean, just like we just talked about, okay. I want to. Eat healthy. There may not be an end game with that. Can you set a goal without an end point? No cause what are you really striving toward? That's tangible. Just something to think about. So now that we've talked about what our intentions, what our goals, how they're similar, how they're different, why you should do both, let's talk about how to go about setting them. The first thing you want to do is sit down and think about what it is that you really want get clear on it right down. Jot down, whatever comes to your mind, you can come back and make a formal statement if you would like to, but just think about what it is that you want. Now that you've figured out what you want. The next thing you want to do is what steps do I need to take to get there? Break it down. Create a roadmap. This can be as specific or as broad as you would like it to be. I would think more specific would be better, but it depends on what it is that you're working toward as well. So in doing this, keep thinking about what resources do you need along the journey, and to achieve the goal at the end, do you need money? Do you need tools? What steps actually have to be taken? So let's say your goal is to buy a house. Okay. Well, you can put a picture of your house on your low vision board, but what happens between you saying, I want to buy a house and you actually obtaining it. There's a lot of things that need to happen in between, right? Maybe you need to save money for a down payment. Maybe if you're buying a house for the first time, you want to look at what kind of programs and resources are available, maybe. You need to check your credit. You know, maybe you need to see how much you're going to be approved for. Maybe you need to think about where you want to move. What zip code do you want to move in? What kind of house is it a row house? Is it a townhouse? Is it a single family house? Is it a condo? So these are all things that you want to think about with. Basically make the declaration that this is what I want, and this is what I'm working toward. What steps come in between that you need to take to get from point a to point B also thinking about, is this a short-term goal or a long-term goal? What short term to you may differ from what's longterm to somebody else. But again, somebody who maybe is trying to lose 20 pounds, that could be short-term compared to somebody who's trying to. I don't know, a hundred pounds. Do you need any additional education or do you need to take classes? Do you need to go back to school for something? Maybe your goal is to finish your degree. Okay. Well, what do you need to do to get back enrolled in school? You probably need some money for that. You probably need books, you probably need to apply some places. Right? So all of those things are steps if you don't know what they are already, take some time to research those. Do you need additional help? So could that be. Coaching or mentoring or something like that. Maybe if you want to start a business, that's your goal? Do you need a business coach? Do you have friends that have their own businesses and maybe you're going to spend some time with them and pick their brain, maybe ask them to be your mentor. These are all things that are going to go into your roadmap. Once you figure out what it is that you want and how to get from point a to point B, you're going to create your roadmap so that you can move on to the next. We talked about short-term versus long-term. Is there an ending point? Okay. So what do you need to do regularly as a part of the process? So here's where your habit stacking comes in. You are intentionally doing things every day or every week or every month or whatever it is that you've set to be regularly to help you get to your goal. Things that help you to stay on track and that you're in alignment with. So for instance, if I know that. I'm trying to say, I'm trying to save money. My intention this year was to save money and the goal is to save, I don't know,$5,000 by the end of the year. Okay. You've divvied out how much money you need to save every pay or every month or however it is, you choose to work it out. Okay. So what are you doing every day to make sure that that money is being funneled into your savings account? Or you're not spending it on necessarily. Are you cutting out coffee and making coffee at home? Well, my intention is to save money by cutting out unnecessary spending. Then maybe the intention is that I make my coffee at home every day and that I eat at home more. Sometimes they're just small things that we do each and every day to help us along the way. Once you figured out what you need to do regularly as a part of the process. So again, we're talking about, you know, maybe that's her meal prep. Maybe cutting out the unnecessary spending every day and checking our bank account just to make sure, you know, we're on top of our spending or maybe if your goal is, to finish your degree. I mean, are you going to your classes and doing your homeworks and stuff like that? You want to do things habitually so that. It becomes second nature so that it becomes effortlessly and that'll make the journey to the end goal. More pleasurable for you. Instead of me running, chasing behind this dangling carrot, trying to lose these 20 pounds. The next thing you want to do is to release. I've set my goal. I've declared. This is what I'm going to do. I figured out how I'm going to do it. I've gotten my roadmap. Now I'm going to release that request into the universe. As long as you stay on track with your habits, with your intentions, you will reach your goal. If this is what you set out to do, and you've accurately determined the steps that you need to take release it, have faith and believe that it is going to happen. Don't doubt yourself. Don't beat yourself up. If it takes longer than you anticipated, if you are actively trying and doing and putting energy into it, there's no reason why you can't achieve it. I think a lot of times we sell ourselves short because keep in mind that a watched pot never boils. So we're so worried about, oh, I'm not doing this or I'm not doing that. You know, isn't going to happen. Is it coming? Like for instance, I was speaking with somebody and they were talking to. Manifesting money. And then they said, I hope I don't have any resistance. Well, damn you didn't just shot the damn girl dead in the water. Why would you declare that you're going to do something and then turn around and say, oh, I hope it works. I hope it happens. That type of thinking that type of mindset is not in alignment with what it is that we're doing. Why even waste your time. If you're not going to believe in yourself and have faith that you can achieve, whatever it is that you want to achieve. So just sometimes we have to take a step back and check ourselves and think about our mindset. One thing that drives me, batty, you ever hear people say that phrase about their kids? Oh, those are my broke low best friends. Why would you put that on them? Don't be calling them broke. We talked about speaking things into existence. I think in episode number four, be very mindful of the language that you use. Don't be calling your kids broke, whether they're broken out, that's just not, we'll say things like that. Or, you know, you're trying to manifest love and you want a man to come in your life and then you turn around and say, men ain't shit. Well, I don't know. Do you want the universe to send you an ancient man? Cause the universe can decipher between the, I don't want or not. They just heard ancient, man. Do you mean. Be mindful about the things that we are thinking, the things that we are saying out loud, we make our declarations in the present as if they have already happened. We don't hope we don't wish we we achieve, we obtain, we attain shifting your mindset alone. Trust me. That will put you in. The next thing we want to think about is just simply staying in the course. So reinforcing regularly, staying on track with our habits or intentions or things that are small things that we do each and every day to help us stay on track, because it can become frustrating when you feel like you're working hard at something, and you're not seeing progress right away. And sometimes that's just how it is. You're not going to see progress right away, but don't feel encouraged. Don't feel discouraged. Just stay the course. So if you need an extra boost, if you need to give whatever it is that you're working towards them energy, some things you can do set reminders to help you stay on track. We've talked about that before. It could be something as simple as setting an alarm on your phone. Posting up what it is that you're working toward as a reminder, that could be posting your vision board on your wall, in your room. So you see it every time you work up, that's a form of visualization. You can meditate, you can literally sit and visualize yourself, if your goal is to buy a new car, visualize yourself driving down the road and that sucker, you know, maybe do you need an accountability partner? So we've talked about, losing weight and going to the gym. Do you have a gym buddy and you all text each other and hold each other accountable about going to the gym on there? Or if you're working with a trainer, same thing. I remember working with the trainer and she would text me and check in. Did you do your workout today? Did you do this? Did you do that? I'll be honest with you. That drove me freaking batty. So I probably wouldn't do that no more, but that might work for you. I found it easier, to work with the trainer in the gym and have them on my behind, in that regard because I paid my money. So I'm not going to show up and lose it. And I'm going to work through this hour workout or whatever it is, but that helped me to stay. We talked about visualization with the vision board, but also think about maybe it's a journal. So something I picked up from Marshall's a couple of weeks ago, I'm working on, getting my finances in order. And I found a money journal and it was kind of like a workbook it had pages in it where you can write down, your daily spending your bills, your income for the month, that type of thing. You could put your goal. Literally there was space for writing goals in there. So that's something that. We talked about taking pictures. So again, if there's something that you're working on, you want to, you can't see progress right away. You can take pictures periodically and look back at your pictures and you'll see the progress. Maybe creating a chart. So something that kind of fits into this whole small wins thing. If anybody follows Dave Ramsey, one of the methods that he teaches to pay down debt, I know that's often a goal for people to be debt free to pay off debt is the snowball method. Basically the way that it works is you line up your debts based on. Either the lowest balance to the highest or the highest interest rate down to the lowest. And then you throw all of your money at the first one and tackle it. And so if my smallest credit card bills say the balance was 500 and originally dependent. I don't know,$50 a month. I keep paying back$50 a month, plus whatever extra money I have toward it. When that one's paid off, I take all of the money that I was paying on the first one. And then I now attack the second one. And then you go down the list until you're done doing it. Like that allows you to see small wins instead of just putting one big balance at the top. So I don't know, maybe you got to pay$25,000 that looking at that big 25 may seem daunting. But when you break it down and you think about, okay, well I paid off my first one. I checked that one off. That's a small win. So now you move to the next one. So that helps you to, get your feelings invested into the journey instead of looking at, oh my God, I have to pay off$25,000 of debt. And that seeming, insurmountable. And even if you want to do it that way, maybe create a chart or like, A bar and then you call her in, okay, well now I'm up to 500. So I'm calling up to 500 next month. I'm up to a thousand, I'm covering up to a thousand and then eventually you get all the way to the top of the bar is now at a hundred percent, you've paid it for a hundred percent of your debt. Now you owe$0. That's a visual aid type of thing. If you're a visual person, you may find that. Something else you may want to think about, if you are a metaphysical practitioner, like I am and you practice candle magic or you work with moon cycles or any of those types of things, you can sync your intentions up with the moon cycle. So if you know me personally, or one of my friends, you know that I will shoot messages out, Hey, it's a full moon. Hey, it's a new moon. Hey, it's 11, 11 portal. That ain't folks know today's a good day to set intentions. When the moon is in a certain space that allows additional energy. So if you know anything about moon cycles within a month, the moon is going to cycle from a black or a new moon all the way up to a full moon. And then it'll come back down to. The new moon. It goes in a cycle every month, and then it, between the new moon and the full moon, you have additional cycles. When the full moon is becoming smaller and going back down to the new moon, that's called the waning cycle. And when it's growing from the new moon up to the full moon, That's the waxing cycle. So if you are trying to release something, which we didn't really talk about earlier in this episode, keep in mind that an intention doesn't have to be something that you are attracting, and it could be something that you're working on removing as well. Getting rid of debt would be removing right? Losing weight would be removing, but maybe trying to save up money to purchase something or buying a house or buying a car, you're attracting something into your life. So thinking about when you are setting those intensive. In a month, you have one full moon and you have one new moon. So maybe when I'm trying to attract something, you can say, I'm trying to attract money for something. Most likely, I'm going to start on a new moon and allow the energy to build up as the moon grows. And that energy goes toward my request and vice versa. If I'm trying to remove something, maybe I'll start a full moon and the. You know, continue with the process as the moon becomes smaller until it goes back down to that new moon. You can definitely sync up your intentions with astrological events. I know a couple Saturdays ago, we have the last full moon of the year, and I know I sent folks a message like, Hey, write your stuff down. Today's a good day. So that's just something to think about. I talked about this in past episodes. I'm a metaphysical practitioner. I don't, that's not really what this podcast is going to be about. I think I may start a Patrion or YouTube or something else to discuss those kinds of things. I just don't think this is the proper forum for that. If you want to message me about that, feel free to do so. The last thing we want to do after we've set our intentions and our goals, and we've been actively working toward them, being intentional with all of the things that we're doing each and every day and plotting away, trying to get to our goal. Don't forget to check in and reassess periodically. May be, stepping on the scale and seeing how much weight you've lost using your measuring tape to measure around your waist, checking your savings account, to see how much money is in there. If you're eating healthy for medical reasons, maybe reassessing is checking in with your doctor to see how you're doing, but you do want to take a step in and reassess at some point, depending on how long you've given yourself to achieve that goal, because maybe you need to make an adjustment. Maybe things are moving faster than you thought they would. That's great. Maybe they're moving slower than you thought they would. Maybe the plan that you have in place needs to be tweaked. You need to make some changes, but it don't feel like just because you've committed to this one thing. Like I committed to losing the 25 pounds and didn't make it by my deadline. Don't mean that doesn't mean that you can't change it. You may decide that once you get into the process of, you know, working towards something that that's not really even what you want. It may be going back to the drawing board and working on something else. Sometimes we have to do something to discover that is really not what we want. And sometimes, getting into the process of it will reinforce that this is what you want. This is a good fit for you, but don't be afraid to take a step back and reassess, take a look at your progress. See what's working. See what's not working. See where you can make changes and improvements. And also keep in mind that. You can set intentions and goals at any point in time. I know first firstly, the year it's often. A popular time to do so because folks are in this new year, new me, new year's resolution type of mood. Another time people often set intentions is on their birthday because your birthday comes in. It's like, you're moving into this next chapter. I prefer to set my intentions for my birthday. But I've done both. It really just depends on, what works for you. And sometimes it's a random Tuesday in may and you decide you need a fresh start and want to set an intention. Do what works for you. But I thought that it was timely to have this discussion because a lot of times we be rolled into the new year with a fresh start new year, new me, new intentions. So hope that made sense for you all about the difference between intentions and goals, why we should be setting both in how they work? And how to do so. Thank you all for listening. I hope that you found some information in here that's useful and you can use it as you set your intentions, if you're exciting them between now and first of the year, this coming weekend, or at any point in time, if you're listening to this and you decide that you have something that you want to work towards achieving, you can set your intentions at any time. You can set goals for yourself at any time, you may find it more helpful to use both together because it'll help you to stay on track and enjoy the journey from the moment you set the intention to the moment that you achieve the goal in the final destination. So before I go, I'm going to leave you all with the affirmation as always. I affirm I live my life with intention. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye