Your Journey, Your Decisions: Standing Firm Amidst the Storm of Life

Imagine having a target on your back, just for living a pure and happy life. It's a reality I've faced, and in this episode, I share how the pressure of making life-changing decisions can often make those around us uncomfortable. But, let's make it clear - We refuse to sink! Drawing inspiration from Sarah Jakes, we learn to confront our issues, navigate through growth and acceptance amidst challenges, and stand firm in our decisions - regardless of other's opinions. 

The journey of resilience is not a smooth ride, but it's unique to each one of us. We delve into the deep end, dealing with the rough waves that come with personal growth and life-changing decisions. As I share the story of my recent relationship's end and its impact on my growth, we also discuss how Sarah Jakes' teachings inspire us to live unapologetically for ourselves. So, let's sail through the storm of life together, embracing change, and living for ourselves. Don't let the uncomfortable gaze of others deter your voyage. Remember, you are the captain of your ship.

Chapters

• 0:02 Refusing to Sink
• 12:42 Navigating Growth and Acceptance Amidst Challenges

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome back everyone to this Is Me. I am Marilyn. Podcast. Happy Sunday, bless Sunday. I just left church and I am feeling amazing. I'm on my way to go food shopping. I'm sitting in a bit of traffic, so I just wanted to take the time to let and pour out what's been happening.

Speaker 1: 0:29

Alright, so last podcast was how do I know, or how do you know, if you're healed? I mentioned that I was in a new relationship. I am no longer in the relationship. It's okay. I'm doing okay. You know.

Speaker 1: 0:49

It served its purpose. For the moment of that moment of my life, there are no regrets. There are no regrets in how I handled it, or you know. But what that relationship did was, you know, I was happy. While it lasted, I was extremely happy. There's no ill will against the other person, you know, because they are a great person, you know. Whatever, but today I want to talk about having a target on your back.

Speaker 1: 1:30

I listened to Sarah Jakes a couple weeks ago. She was doing a sermon and the topic was pushing through Are you just pushing through or are you pushing through your bullshit? And essentially the message was that when you're trying to break generational curses, you will always walk around with a target on your back and while sometimes we tend to just get through life and just push through life, are we pushing, actually facing our trials and tribulations? And sometimes we just push through it and just try to avoid it and just move on from it because we don't want to be confrontational, but sometimes you have to push through it to get the answers to in order to fix it. So in church today it was refuse to sink. Walk with me here. I know I'm just trying to give everything into contents and how it's in my head. I'm just trying to put it out.

Speaker 1: 2:36

So my being in that relationship was more of an issue for everyone else around me than myself, and I was just so confused as to why, the moment I started living and being happy and pleasant you know, making decisions for myself as I should because I'm a grown ass woman it started to create drama around me, not within my relationship, but the drama around me. So I was just so confused as to what was the meaning, what was the purpose, what was the beginning of the problem? What was the beginning of the problem? Because I made a decision for myself that made me happy. It shook those around me and I couldn't process it and I couldn't understand why the decisions that I made in my life, why are the changes that I make in my life are disturbing other people. And it took a couple weeks for me to like just process and replay and what's happening and while I should have been focused on my relationship and enjoying all the good things that were happening, I was being distracted by the noise that was around me.

Speaker 1: 4:13

Because that is how the devil works. It's like the moment you find peace and the moment that you find happiness in your life, you're changing yourself, you're growing within yourself. It disturbs the people, but why is that? Certain people are friends with you, are in your life, because they find a connection with you in that they see something in themselves, in you or at that given moment that you're going through your life and they're able to bond with you. They're able to have a trauma bond with you. So the moment that you start making the decisions in your life for you to be happy, the change is not uncomfortable for you. The change is uncomfortable for them because I know in my life I'm destined for greatness. I know in my life that God has seen me through everything, all the good things and all the bad things that have happened to me is only because God has set it up that way for me.

Speaker 1: 5:37

I am a type of person that if I am not growing year after year, then I feel like I am not living. I am a type of person who takes a step back and reflects on thyself and questions thyself how is this serving me? Is this, does this serve a purpose? What are the pros, what are the cons? Excuse me, and you would think that the people who are around you you don't need. I don't need yes, ma'ams, by no means do I need none of the people around me a yes ma'ams, or I don't expect them to be, you know. But you need to listen to how people move, you need to listen to the words that they speak, because the devil comes in different forms and because I have always been a pure person, because I have always been a loving person, because I have always been a person who has made the decisions for myself, despite what anybody thinks and, ironically, not everyone is like that and because of that comes some sort of hate, jealousy, envy that, although you may not have anything in life, as long as you live pure and happiness, that is enough to shake and to bother people. Where am I going with this?

Speaker 1: 7:09

Today's message was refuse to sink. Last week's message was a target on your back because when you're destined for greatness, people may not understand the conversations that you're having. People may not understand the decisions that you're making for yourself and your life, and that they're not supposed to. If you're having conversations with people and they don't understand what your vision is, that's awesome, because it's not their vision to see. So today's message was refuse to sink. And boy oh boy, refuse to sink because others have an opinion of what you choose to do with yourself. Reuse to sink because things aren't going how you plan it. You have a plan, god laughs.

Speaker 1: 7:56

Refuse to sink because those people who try to keep you where you were in your past don't understand the change in the growth that's happening in your life now and they keep trying to bring you back there and continue to remind you oh, will you with this last year or you with this? Refuse to sink, refuse to accept, like these people, I don't have to deal with them, I don't have to allow them to continue to remind me of where I came from or what I've been through. If you can't change with me. If you can't accept the change with me, then they are no longer serving you. Don't be afraid to change. Don't be afraid to leave people in their place to put them in their place. Don't be afraid to grow. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to say F everybody and do what makes you happy because, for whatever reason now I know the reason don't be afraid to do whatever it is that makes you happy, because the devil comes in any way, in any form, to try to throw you off and make you and create this doubt in your head that what you're doing in your life that is serving you, that is fulfilling you, is wrong. I had seen them.

Speaker 1: 9:37

There's like a meme going around is like what's an unserious generational curse that you want to break, and I forgot who tweeted it and I responded doubt and everyone just kept commenting under doubt. The generational curse that I want to break, or that I have been breaking, is doubt. The generational curse that I've been breaking is not being able to trust myself. I trust myself, I trust the decisions that I make while my, while the people around me, I. I don't expect them to go along with what I say or whatever, but I expect for them to trust that the decisions I make for my life are serving me.

Speaker 1: 10:37

Man, I don't know if I'm spitting it out the way that it's like all over my my, in my head, but the last few weeks have been I've been very quiet, I've been very to myself because I've I've been feeling like I'm in this weird space of transition where and I don't know if it's because I'm exiting my 30s, soon entering my 40s, and I am just like in a place where I'm growing and I'm feeling it and God is just trying to like speak to me and and show me certain things, and in different ways. And I've just been quiet because I've just been listening and watching. And by doing that, when you just kind of go silent a little bit and you just take a step back and you just watch the stuff that is in front of you, is happening in front of you, and the things that in your core and your gut you're feeling but you don't want to like believe it, that's God giving you the vision and telling you like be obedient and walk in the path that I have set for you and trust in me and trust in yourself that what I am trying to show you is true. It's good on this side of the wall. It's good on the side of the wall when you make the decisions for yourself and you don't care what anybody has to say about it. It feels good on this side of the wall when you have been through the trenches, you have been through the rock bottom, and I see myself in the mirror and see how far of common, yes, with the support, with the love, but also with trusting myself, and that the decisions that I've made for myself have brought me to where I am today.

Speaker 1: 12:42

So I'm excited to see, like the the season of shedding that I'm in. I am in this season of growing, in this season of shedding and the season of acceptance. I've accepted that I have a target on my back and and I think that that was a missing piece that I didn't understand like I want to see you do good. Why don't you want to see me do good? I want to see you do be happy. Why don't you want to see me be happy? But sometimes is you know, it comes back to I want you to do good, but not too good. I want to be able to be friends with you, but in a place to where I'm comfortable with being friends with you, because your growth and your transition is starting to make me uncomfortable, because the only way we were able to be friends is with the relatability of the trauma bond that we both shared, and because I didn't allow that trauma to take over me, to control me, to continue to live in that space. We no longer have anything to bond over man.

Speaker 1: 13:57

I've always told you I'm a praying woman, that the successes of my life, the health and wealth that I have and I'm not talking about monetary is all because of God and he has spoken to me and he speaks to me. And if no one has ever showed up for me, he has always showed up for me. And with everything that's been happening in the last couple of months, with the sermons that I have just been thrown at me, it is like it's coming, because when you are in your moment of greatness, that is when the enemy comes everywhere and it is like dodgeball and those balls are just whoo-hoo and I've just been like ducking and jumping and just trying to like Lord. What is happening? What did I miss? But I didn't miss anything because I was silent enough and was able to take a step back and see what's happening in front of me and understand that God is saying stay the course, remain consistent, remain faithful. Receive. No, believe, what is it? Receive, believe, receive, believe, pray. You know how it goes, man. And so I went. My phone overheated so it shut off. I'm like, oh my God, please, I hope everything's safe, but it did so.

Speaker 1: 15:32

My message to you today live for you, despite how anyone disagrees, how anyone has an opinion on it. Everybody's going to have an opinion on what you do in your life. So you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. But as long as that whatever decision you make for yourself in your life is serving you and serving it in your soul and is fulfilling your soul, be unapologetic, for it Doesn't matter how long you've known somebody, doesn't know what history you have. If you are questioning that person, if you are feeling that that person is like shaking your spirit by what the words that are coming in their mouth, believe it, because at the end of the day, this is your life to live, and should nobody tell you, judge you and essentially have an opinion on the blueprint of your life. It's your life.

Speaker 1: 16:35

And if you feel like why is this happening to me? Why is this? I'm living righteous. I'm living in my purpose. I'm living the way that I want to live. As crazy as it sounds, misery loves company. Watch who you keep around you and know that if you live pure and peaceful, that you will always have a target on your back. That is my message for you today. I hope I helped someone. I hope that I explained it the way it was in my head, because that was all over the place. But thank you for hearing me out. As always, I will talk to you soon.