The Pick Me Hoe Is Still In The Picture - And is Doing As She is Told

Ever been blindsided by the person you trust the most? This episode unfolds my personal story of betrayal and the painful reality of my ex-husband's double life. As I recount my experiences, you’ll hear how I grappled with shock, manipulation, and the two-faced antics of a narcissistic partner. But more than just a harrowing tale, this episode reveals how I've learned to stay calm, disengage, and protect my children. It's a raw insight into my journey, my struggles, and how I'm finding healing in the most complex of circumstances. 

Transcript

Navigating Betrayal and Healing Process

Speaker 1 0:01

Alright , guys , welcome back to this Is Me . I am Marilyn podcast exclusively . As you all know , I started this podcast as a diet diary and a way for me to just vent and put out my thoughts . In this particular channel , I have dedicated to venting about the personal issues that have gone and transpired throughout my marriage , my relationship , my divorce and what I'm still dealing with today and on my main channel . A few months ago , I think it was probably like February , I submitted excuse me , I uploaded an episode , the betrayal of my husband's best friend , which was one of the most downloaded episodes to date . And now we ask ourselves is the trifling , disgusting friend or , excuse me , pick me hoe still in the picture ? The answer is yes . And how do I know that when my children go over there ? You know I'm giving a little bit too much right now because I want to explain what has occurred in series , month by month , year by year .

Speaker 1 1:14

But you know , my ex husband has been on bended knees when he found out I had a boyfriend , has not known how to do it . He knows crying , basically at my ankles , begging . He'll do anything he has to do to get his family back , just begging and pleading and just trying to , you know , swore he was going to therapy on his own . Yeah right , he wasn't going to therapy . What he was doing was reading me , stalking my new life , observing me . So he , can he conform to the new meat to try to fit into my picture , to say , hey , listen , I've grown , I've supported you all . During the meanwhile he was still living the same lie and double life he has always been living . So my ex husband has never been used to taking care of the kids on his own . So when he used to take the kids I was I found it a little bit shocking . Like man , you learned how to handle the kids on your own . Because , listen me by myself is a lot . And ladies , we know how the men is . They only have a few hours in them . But I'm not the type to interrogate my my children will . Obviously , you know is only the three year old . I don't do that . But I do ask them how was your day ? How was daycare ? What did you learn ? You know , because it's important to keep the kids memory , muscle memory and stuff like that .

Speaker 1 2:43

And I don't know this week , the other day , I'm just like hey , how was your weekend at daddy's ? And he was just like kind of ignore me . I'm like , well , did you have fun ? Are you okay ? Did something happen ? And he was just like ignoring .

Speaker 1 2:56

If you know my son , you know he's very talkative . And I said , well , did you play ? He said yes . I said , well , who did you play with ? And he was like Nana and daddy and it was like very matter of fact , open club , open , shut . It was just like fear or just I don't know . I found it just .

Speaker 1 3:15

I was uncomfortable with his response . So I said Rome , did something happen ? You know , were you told not to tell something to Marilyn ? He's like trying to distract me . He's like , look , mommy , look at the TV . Oh my god , look at Spider-Man .

Speaker 1 3:29

The first of all , the fact that a three-year-old is trying to distract me from like , oh my god . I hope this lady does not ask me again because you know like I don't want to lie to her , but I also . I said Rome , who else did you play with ? He said her name . He said fine , fine , and said the trash's name and I said , okay . I said , but don't lie to mommy . You know I didn't recommend him for it because he's three .

Speaker 1 4:00

I am still healing , I am still trying to not allow the situation to get to me , but you know , when it comes to your children , it's a very sensitive topic . A narcissist will suck the air out of you . A narcissist will try to . They are vampire energies . They will do whatever it is to stay in your face to use the kids . He constantly calls me for the stupidest thing or texts me . It's how do you handle it ? You do not engage . If they call you , just simply reply with the text Is everything okay or the children okay ? When I have my kids , I do not respond and I instantly was fury inside One because now you're teaching my kids it's okay to lie and lie to mommy or keep things from mommy , which is omitting is also considered a lie . He is basically continuing the narcissistic pattern in the same household of which he was raised , same thing his mother used to do to him .

Speaker 1 5:34

And second , because this trash , this pick me hoe , is still around my children . She will always remain around my children because she is the one . She is the supply that feeds his energy , his ego . She's the supply that is going to admire him and the moment he gets rejected from somebody , he's gonna just call her and she's just gonna be there with her tongue out and her tail wagging like the pitiful dog that she is . So , since I have to remain , tentose down , not engage , I do it here , I bitch here and it feels good just getting it out because he is not worth my time . But this is my journey . This is my healing journey . This is how I cope .

Speaker 1 6:33

It is a daily and constant thing to try to bring yourself up , to remind yourself . You know , when the shit happens to you , you almost want them to pay , but you quickly learn , like that is when I , when I left and everything I know by no means was like revenge . I have to get revenge on him . No , no , no , no . That is God's job . I did my part . Now I have to fall back and let God do his part , and I know God is handling him .

Speaker 1 7:07

Okay , don't think that the person who hurt you walked away clean . They are going to hurt and suffer 10 times worse than you did , and it's hard . It's hard at the heat of the , at the , at the heat of the moment . So , just because you know you , you want to take shit into your own hand . But we have to be smart about this , we have to be bosses about this . We have to be women of class and don't let them see you sweat , don't let them see you angry , because by doing that it's giving it's feeding their ego and thinking that they want , and while you're sitting there pissed and angry , they're just eaten , chilling watching TV .

Speaker 1 7:54

So I leave this here , I vent and now I can go on through my day because I just have to remind myself that they will forever live miserable . She will forever sit there and be useless and worthless , like she is putting herself out there to be , and I do not feel sorry for her . They both need help . They're both sick . For you to sit there in my face while sleeping with my husband playing with my kids , that is sick . That is not my job as to what happens to them in the future .

Protecting Children From Narcissistic Parent

Speaker 1 8:33

At this juncture , it's a matter of protecting my children , making sure that they do not are not subjected nor become a victim of a narcissist at the hands of a narcissistic father , parent who's just using the children to control me , to clock me , to see what I'm doing . So we are sticking to the schedule , nothing more , nothing less . Stay grounded , staying . You believe they will use your weakness . The weakness are the kids . But remember to remind yourself , to remember the bigger picture and what their intentions are . So , all right , that's all I got for now . As always , thank you for tuning in and I will talk to you soon .