Teacher Healer - Education for Real Change

Lael Stone: Creating an emotionally safe school

May 23, 2022 Lael Stone Season 1 Episode 10
Teacher Healer - Education for Real Change
Lael Stone: Creating an emotionally safe school
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, I'm joined by Lael Stone.

Lael is an educator, TEDx speaker, author, mother, and parenting counselor. She is also the co-creator of Woodline Primary School, an innovative new school based on emotional wellbeing and connection. Lael is the co-host of The Aware Parenting Podcast and a sought-after public speaker who talks candidly about her experiences and her great passion; creating wellness in families through connection and communication.

Listen to me speak with Lael about her journey with Woodline Primary School and her dream for an education system that prioritises emotional wellbeing for teachers and students.

Your homework: 

  • Think about what opportunities you have in your current environment that would allow you to prioritise connection and emotional expression. If you feel you have these opportunities, what can you try now? If you don't, what might you be able to influence in your environment to create space for this?
  • Explore some of the resources below to learn more about trauma-informed practice or emotional expression.

Further learning related to this episode/references:

Learn more at teacherhealer.com

Music by Twisterium from Pixabay.

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00:00:01 Janine

Lael Stone is an educator, TEDx speaker, author, mother and parenting counselor.

00:00:07 Janine

She is also the Co creator of Woodland Primary School, an innovative new school based on emotional well being and connection.

00:00:14 Janine

Lel is the Co host of the Aware Parenting Podcast and a sought after public speaker who talks candidly about her experiences.

00:00:20 Janine

And her great passion creating Wellness and families through connection and communication.

00:00:26 Janine

Listen to me speak with Leila about her journey with Woodland Primary School and her dream for an education system that prioritizes emotional well being for both students and teachers.

00:00:47 Janine

Hi Lael, welcome to the Teacher Healer podcast.

00:00:50 Lael

Hello, thank you for having me.

00:00:52 Janine

I'm very excited to have you and hear a lot about your school that you started now.

00:00:59 Janine

You've come to education through an unusual pathway compared to other teachers, which gives you a unique insight into children.

00:01:06 Janine

So, do you want to just fill the listeners in on your journey?

00:01:10 Lael

So it's it's.

00:01:12 Lael

I mean, I'm not a formally trained teacher, but I've pretty much been teaching my whole life and and if I go back way, way, way.

00:01:18 Lael

Back to the.

00:01:19 Lael

Beginning I guess of when I first started working with children or other humans, it was when I was.

00:01:25 Lael

When I was 19 and I started my first company, I'd I'd finished high school.

00:01:30 Lael

I went and traveled for a while, came back and I actually started a business as a children entertainer many years ago, and this was way before the Wiggles was even.

00:01:40 Lael

I was telling you how old I am now.

00:01:42 Lael

So I used to go to peoples houses and then send their kids for their birthdays and then my team grew.

00:01:49 Lael

Then we used to put on big shows and pantomimes and school holidays.

00:01:52 Lael

And and I spent nearly seven or eight years with that business that I had, which was all about play and connection with children.

00:02:00 Lael

So you know, I I often really do believe that.

00:02:02 Lael

Nothing is wasted in what we do in our lives.

00:02:04 Lael

Like every job we have every experience we have.

00:02:07 Lael

You know, folds in somewhere in the big picture, so for seven or eight years I I pretty much just played with children and my job was to entertain them.

00:02:15 Lael

But it was also just to create connection and get kids involved and all that kind of stuff.

00:02:20 Lael

And then I actually became apparent.

00:02:22 Lael

And then once I became apparent, I was like, oh God, I don't wanna.

00:02:24 Lael

Play with other people kids.

00:02:25 Lael

I'm just having to play with my own.

00:02:27 Lael

And so I I actually ended up closing that business, and then I actually started working in the field of childbirth, and I became a childbirth educator and.

00:02:36 Lael

And so Ashley was.

00:02:37 Lael

Teaching again, but to adults.

00:02:39 Lael

So I was teaching adults about birth and then that moved into working a lot with adults around trauma and particularly parents.

00:02:47 Lael

And babies that had had trauma so started working in that field doing a lot of counseling.

00:02:51 Lael

I was also running workshops at the time and then my work from there kind of then moved into towards parenting and so again I started teaching workshops or parents on on how to be connected.

00:03:03 Lael

Parent and using play for connection and listening to feelings and all those kind of things.

00:03:08 Lael

So it kind of you know.

00:03:09 Lael

I was teaching and it was evolving.

00:03:12 Lael

Just through my own work, mainly for parent.

00:03:15 Lael

And then probably about maybe four and a bit years ago.

00:03:19 Lael

Now one of my clients who had been working with for a few years and she was talking to me about how you know, discouraged she was with the schooling system, one of her kids was about to start prep and and she's like, you know, I just.

00:03:31 Lael

I don't like how they use these punitive measures.

00:03:33 Lael

With the kids.

00:03:34 Lael

And you know, he he can't move his body when he needs to.

00:03:37 Lael

And and you know, I was just listening and I'd heard this so often with parents I'd worked with.

00:03:42 Lael

I'd witnessed it with my own three children.

00:03:44 Lael

And she said to me, gosh, I wish we could just build a school based on all the philosophies and things that you've taught me.

00:03:50 Lael

And you know my first response was, well, I've got no idea how to build a school, but then she just said to me, look, you know she has the means and the funds to make it happen.

00:03:59 Lael

And she said, what if you know what if we did it?

00:04:02 Lael

Like why not?

00:04:03 Lael

Why what?

00:04:04 Lael

If we created a school where all the things you've taught me exist and so.

00:04:08 Lael

Do you know it was one of those things?

00:04:12 Lael

It was one of those opportunities that come along in your life and you.

00:04:15 Lael

You know, often you go, but like, I don't know how to do this so this feels truthful or not.

00:04:18 Lael

This is too big.

00:04:19 Lael

This is too big and I kind of sat on it for a month or two.

00:04:22 Lael

'cause I was just like I can't do this.

00:04:24 Lael

I don't know what to do and then I don't know.

00:04:25 Lael

It's just one day I had this random thing happened.

00:04:29 Lael

And I just.

00:04:29 Lael

Thought, well who am I not to do this?

00:04:31 Lael

It just takes one person to be brave and courageous and try something different and see what could happen.

00:04:37 Lael

So I was like, OK ma'am, let's do it and and then I kind of was like right?

00:04:41 Lael

I'm going to need support and I'm going to need guidance and make consultants and so I kind of put the word out there to just follow whoever turned up around people who did know you know how to.

00:04:52 Lael

Build schools and.

00:04:53 Lael

And at the same time as well as doing this, I was actually also working in secondary schools.

00:04:57 Lael

Teaching sex education.

00:04:59 Lael

So that was another thing that I offered as part of my kind.

00:05:01 Lael

Of parenting toolkit. I was teaching parents on how to talk to the kids about sex and then I was working with teenagers from you, 7UP, to a year 11 on pleasure based sex education, relationships, intimacy, well being all that kind of stuff.

00:05:14 Lael

So I was actually in the secondary schools teaching as.

00:05:16 Lael

Well, so all of that kind of formed together with Mel.

00:05:22 Lael

And then we set out on the.

00:05:23 Lael

Best of OK?

00:05:23 Lael

Well, what would we want our school to look like and and really for me it came back to this trauma informed lens.

00:05:31 Lael

Turns around, it's very hard for children to learn if they don't feel safe.

00:05:36 Lael

So how do we help children feel safe in their bodies?

00:05:38 Lael

How do we help them feel safe to be who they need to be?

00:05:41 Lael

How do we help them unpack the baggage that they may be carrying?

00:05:44 Lael

Whether that's 'cause they've had a really rough morning at home, whether

00:05:47 Lael

It's because they've.

00:05:47 Lael

Got a new sibling?

00:05:49 Lael

Whether it's because.

00:05:50 Lael

They're feeling really.

00:05:51 Lael

Anxious about learning whatever it is.

00:05:53 Lael

How do we look at it through the lens of connection?

00:05:57 Lael

Of trauma informed practice of creating safety for these children and giving them choice and autonomy.

00:06:04 Lael

Because my absolute fundamental belief was when kids feel safe, then they're learning, you know increases and it becomes possible for when there's passion and there's excitement.

00:06:15 Lael

And then there's choice and autonomy and all those.

00:06:17 Lael

Many things.

00:06:17 Lael

So, so that's how it kind of started to come about.

00:06:21 Lael

So it took us nearly three years till we opened the school.

00:06:24 Lael

So I sat down in the beginning Rd.

00:06:26 Lael

Every policy for the school and then you know I had some wonderful amazing consultants and and people to support and help us to really get it over the line and help us get really clear on what it is.

00:06:37 Lael

That we wanted, and what we were aiming to.

00:06:40 Lael

Do so yeah, we I worked on it for a really long time and then other people came involved and then we started to build our team.

00:06:46 Lael

Amazing principal who.

00:06:48 Lael

Who really believed in what we were doing and and has now taken it?

00:06:51 Lael

You know, forward into the next level and it's actually you know when I go to my school now I look and think this is even better than I dreamed it to be.

00:06:58 Lael

It's pretty.

00:06:58 Lael

It's pretty wild.

00:07:00 Lael

Uh, so that's kind of how it came about.

00:07:02 Lael

You know it's building.

00:07:03 Lael

A school is a really tricky thing.

00:07:05 Lael

There's a reason why not many people do it because it's hard.

00:07:08 Lael

It's really hard, and it costs a lot of money, and it takes a lot of time and a lot of grit and come.

00:07:15 Lael

But it's it's incredible.

00:07:17 Lael

You know, it's one of the things that I'm the most proud of.

00:07:20 Lael

What we've created at Woodlynne primary, which is.

00:07:23 Lael

Our beautiful little school.

00:07:24 Lael

So yeah, it's that.

00:07:26 Lael

That's kind of how I came to it, and it's interesting actually, and even my principle says is to me.

00:07:31 Lael

She's like many people who have been teachers and have been in the system.

00:07:35 Lael

I think because we're often indoctrinated into systems and we don't even realize, I think because I wasn't part of that system.

00:07:41 Lael

I could look at it from a different angle so I would come to her and go.

00:07:45 Lael

Could we do this?

00:07:47 Lael

And what about that?

00:07:48 Lael

And she'd be like, Oh yeah, that's a good idea.

00:07:49 Lael

We could try.

00:07:50 Lael

These so we.

00:07:50 Lael

Could try it that way.

00:07:51 Lael

And so there was something amazing in the innovation of it, because I wasn't necessarily well.

00:07:57 Lael

This is how it should look, you know.

00:07:59 Lael

And I understood that we had to incorporate the curriculum.

00:08:01 Lael

And I understand about all the other elements that are at play, but I think because I was coming from a different angle, you know then we had the opportunity to create something pretty awesome.

00:08:13 Janine

It reminds me it's like the perfect example of what Elizabeth describes as the Hummingbird person.

00:08:18 Janine

You know, he cross pollinates from different industries and I in backgrounds is cool.

00:08:22 Janine

I I think you're right, I was on Twitter the other day and there was a teacher as we all do.

00:08:28 Janine

It's like, Gee, I wish I could just stop my in school and he is how the curriculum would look like and we all have that dream.

00:08:34 Janine

But I just think it's fabulous that these kind of landed on you rather than you chasing it.

00:08:40 Lael

Yeah, well it was one of those things I think you don't often get handed an opportunity that says, look, I'll fund what you believe and go.

00:08:49 Lael

For it because you know, for a lot of people, and I've spoken to so many people since we opened would line who were like, I really want to build a school.

00:08:56 Lael

How do I go about it?

00:08:58 Lael

And from people all over the world, I've spoken to about it and so many of them are like, oh, I don't know how to get the money in the funding and I'm like, well, if you don't have a property and you don't have funding, it's really hard.

00:09:07 Lael

Like that's a big piece of what you have to get first, and then there's all the other elements that have to line up around it around governance and policies and you know you're setting up your board and.

00:09:18 Lael

This the legals and you know find out just there's so many factors.

00:09:21 Lael

Seen it, you know, we can have this beautiful vision and idea of what the school is, and that actually becomes a smaller part of a bigger business that that it is is, which is what a school is.

00:09:31 Janine

Yeah, and I think I think that's the part that the teachers you know we'd struggle to accept a little bit as you have to be a CEO to start at school.

00:09:41 Janine

Really, don't you not just not a teacher.

00:09:43 Janine

And even though maybe they think they're the best people, there's just so much more going on.

00:09:48 Lael

There is so much and that's why you need a really amazing team and you know, I I speak to a lot of teachers and I'm like I love that you can see how it needs to look different and why it needs to change and that.

00:10:00 Lael

He's you know you're right on the money of why it doesn't work on some levels and how we could create change, and I think it is often said and don't give up.

00:10:10 Lael

There's small things you can do, and you know we're trying to turn a really big ship here, and it takes time, and so you know I feel my hope in my dreams.

00:10:19 Lael

Forward line is that we're able to.

00:10:22 Lael

Really beautifully document what we're doing and how we're doing it, and really create some research and study around how we're doing it so that it can be an example of how it could be done.

00:10:26 Speaker 2

Oh yeah.

00:10:32 Lael

And how we can do it differently?

00:10:33 Lael

You know that is really what I see like we already the team already Atwood line.

00:10:38 Lael

See my God, the shift in the children and the change within families and what we are creating there.

00:10:45 Lael

And now you know, like how the world works.

00:10:47 Lael

We need to create some evidence to say see this is this is how it could be done in a different way.

00:10:52 Janine

I love that you're doing that.

00:10:53 Janine

That's so great so you can pay it forward and help people.

00:10:57 Janine

Sort of, you know, do it again and learn from the lessons that you guys are learning.

00:11:02 Janine

So that's.

00:11:03 Janine

Brilliant good on you.

00:11:05 Janine

And so I'm just wondering, like in terms of like a student experience, going through would line primary.

00:11:14 Janine

You know what would that look like on a day for them?

00:11:16 Janine

What is the set?

00:11:18 Lael

Yep, so.

00:11:19 Lael

Uh, we really invite kids to come early. Like you know, we we have. The kids can come from 8:30 and play, so we have the most beautiful grounds. We have swings trampolines. We have animals.

00:11:33 Lael

Often this one staff member always feeding the animals in the morning so kids can come and join in with that if they need to.

00:11:39 Lael

We really encourage kids to come and connect with their mates.

00:11:43 Lael

Most of the team is outside there to connect with the kids in the morning.

00:11:48 Lael

So we kind of don't really want the just quick drop off with five minutes to go.

00:11:51 Lael

We want them to come and connect an anchor and kind of land for the day.

00:11:55 Lael

So then you know our day starts with circle time, which a lot of schools do, which is really just about connecting in with how everyone's feeling.

00:12:01 Lael

So we have small class sizes.

00:12:03 Lael

We have maximum 16.

00:12:04 Lael

Kids in.

00:12:04 Lael

A class and we have one.

00:12:07 Lael

We call them guides at our school.

00:12:09 Lael

So we have a main guide who's a teacher and then we have an assistant guide in each classroom.

00:12:14 Lael

And the assistant guide is there for support, but they're really there.

00:12:17 Lael

Is that emotional holding?

00:12:19 Lael

If children have got some stuff going on?

00:12:21 Lael

The one of the biggest focuses on in our school is on emotional awareness and on helping children to find.

00:12:30 Lael

You know their center or to be imbalanced so they can learn, so we are really big on that.

00:12:35 Lael

If a child has started the day and they're feeling tight and they're anxious or there's something going on our our goal.

00:12:42 Lael

Is to help kids to be able to identify it.

00:12:43 Lael

This is how I'm feeling and This is why.

00:12:45 Lael

I need so when kids don't necessarily have the ability to do that then we see it in their behavior and that's when they become really disruptive or they can't listen.

00:12:54 Lael

Or they're you know they're picking on other kids or all that kind of stuff, so our philosophy always at the school is to look behind the behavior so our guides, job assistant guides job is really just to be tuning.

00:13:05 Lael

Into the kids.

00:13:06 Lael

Seeing how they are so that if a child is having a hard time, we can be like, hey, let's go outside and have a quick swing.

00:13:11 Lael

Let's go jump on the trampoline or let's go see the cows.

00:13:14 Lael

Or let's go feed the pigs or let's let's go for a walk.

00:13:18 Lael

Let's have a chat.

00:13:19 Lael

Let's do something that can help them offload whatever is going on for them so they can come back into balance.

00:13:24 Lael

So we usually start with with a special time.

00:13:28 Lael

Sorry, just with you know several time in the morning and then you know one of our other biggest pieces of our school is really around choice and autonomy.

00:13:36 Lael

So we have whatever our is, our kind of provocation.

00:13:40 Lael

We we change them every two weeks and we work with the Australian curriculum at our school we have the.

00:13:45 Lael

First hour and a half really of inquiry and that's where children can choose how and what they would like to do around their learning.

00:13:53 Lael

So we have all different stations set up.

00:13:55 Lael

Since replay we have creative play and we are a play based learning school as well, so most of it is done through.

00:14:00 Lael

Like we we work with.

00:14:04 Lael

Having a photographer and having two reporters, so depending on what the provocation is, the kids will go and ask questions of other other kids.

00:14:12 Lael

They'll go and document with the other children are doing, and we swap that around each day.

00:14:15 Lael

And then we have our focus children.

00:14:17 Lael

So the guide gets to focus in on one or two children that day.

00:14:21 Lael

To really just, you know, measure how their learnings going what.

00:14:24 Lael

They need more support with all those kind.

00:14:25 Lael

Of things so.

00:14:26 Lael

Particularly, our morning is really around giving children the choice to learn in the way they want to learn and and be able to move around the classroom and all those kind of things so.

00:14:37 Lael

And we see that that works really beautifully.

00:14:39 Lael

Of children will naturally migrate to what makes sense for them and what how they want to learn.

00:14:43 Lael

And then there's often lots more interesting inquiry that comes from that.

00:14:46 Lael

Now I've done this.

00:14:47 Lael

What about that?

00:14:48 Lael

So it really is trying to give and set up spaces we haven't most amazing leader of learning at our school, Rachel, who really so intentional in setting up the space.

00:14:57 Lael

Using our classrooms to create that interest in the.

00:15:01 Lael

Curiosity for children to go a bit further with their learning, so we usually do that for the morning and that usually kind of incorporates our literacy elements.

00:15:10 Lael

Then we usually have our break.

00:15:13 Lael

So again kids go outside for recess.

00:15:15 Lael

We don't really call at recess, but and you know we have big sandpits kids kids.

00:15:20 Lael

Kids can take the shoes.

00:15:20 Lael

Off they can climb trees.

00:15:22 Lael

They can, you know, be as long as it's safe.

00:15:24 Lael

And we also talk about, you know safety elements and how, how high you can climb the tree.

00:15:29 Lael

What we can do, all that kind of stuff.

00:15:30 Lael

We're building materials there for kids to build with.

00:15:33 Lael

You know, it really is about they can get dirty.

00:15:36 Lael

They can get their hands in stuff like you know.

00:15:38 Lael

And I think the beauty of having a smaller school is that if we find the children are really engrossed in their play, we will extend recess or lunch to be longer.

00:15:47 Lael

You know we have these great sand pits and sometimes the.

00:15:49 Lael

Whole school will come.

00:15:50 Lael

To the sand pits and make these amazing sand cities.

00:15:54 Lael

And there's all these incredible you know negotiations going on and leadership.

00:15:58 Lael

And it's just extraordinary to watch.

00:16:00 Lael

And we're like, why would we stop that?

00:16:02 Lael

Because there is so much learning going on here within these elements, and it's fascinating to watch what the children as a collective move towards.

00:16:10 Lael

And move away from so there'll be times where it's all about the sand pit and all about this.

00:16:15 Lael

And then there'll be times where it's all about something else.

00:16:18 Lael

And it's fascinating to watch where the the children take the play and where it where it moves to.

00:16:24 Lael

Then you.

00:16:24

I love that.

00:16:25 Lael

Yeah, yeah, it's really.

00:16:26 Lael

It's beautiful to watch.

00:16:27 Lael

And so and you know, as as a team, you know we.

00:16:31 Lael

We are always tuning into where the children are and really a big part of it is saying to the guy.

00:16:35 Lael

Sides if you are out there on play supervision like you know, just watch what's going on.

00:16:40 Lael

If you feel that there's something you know, wait longer.

00:16:43 Lael

We don't have bells.

00:16:44 Lael

We have a singing bowl at our school too, so and usually the children will go and get the singing bowl to let everybody else know that it's time to come in so you know little things like that are quite beautiful and then usually.

00:16:55 Lael

We would do on a standard they.

00:16:57 Lael

Would kind of.

00:16:57 Lael

Usually do our numeracy then, and we're trying to learn numeracy outside.

00:17:01 Lael

If we can.

00:17:01 Lael

So wherever we can do learning outside, we.

00:17:04 Lael

So, and that will often always incorporate nature sticks.

00:17:07 Lael

You know, ladies, things all that kind of stuff, lots of measurement, all all the beautiful numeracy where kids often don't even know that they're doing maths.

00:17:14 Lael

But that's how they're learning, so we really try to incorporate it with as much outside play if we can.

00:17:19 Lael

And then depending on the day we have specialists we we do oslon at our school we also have.

00:17:24 Lael

Performing Arts we have visual arts. Then we have PA. So depending on what days we've got on, sometimes we'll have special.

00:17:30 Lael

Plus, you know then we have again a long lunch break and then in the afternoon we do a different kind of project based learning or passion based learning or whatever is the theme or stuff we're working on.

00:17:42 Lael

So our older kids at the moment they're building, they're going to build a tree house at school, so they're designing the treehouse and we've been working with builders and they're about to go on an excursion.

00:17:46 Janine

Oh cool.

00:17:51 Lael

Go and see some construction staff and you know we've got a lot of beautiful parents at our school who are builders so you know, really, wherever we can bring hands on practical learning.

00:18:00 Lael

That's what we want to do with the children, and we also have, you know, a big one of our key values is on environmental responsibilities, so we incorporate that in is all our learning, so I'm.

00:18:13 Lael

I'm very proud to say for a whole school we usually have one bag of rubbish awake.

00:18:17 Lael

That's all we have at our school.

00:18:18 Janine

Oh no amazing.

00:18:19 Lael

So we recycle everything, so most of all our food scraps go to the animals and then we recycle our plastics and cardboard and all that kind of.

00:18:27 Lael

Stuff so you know we have a big push on environmental responsibility and also incorporating that into our learning.

00:18:33 Lael

So we do a lot of in virus stuff and we also have a really strong connection to indigenous culture and learning too.

00:18:40 Lael

So we're very blessed to have one of the most amazing indigenous teachers he's apparent at our.

00:18:47 Lael

School and so will often come and do you know stuff around our culture?

00:18:51 Lael

You know the land that we live on.

00:18:53 Lael

We're really close to the Yueyang, so we get to go and do incursions and stuff there.

00:18:57 Lael

Oh sorry, excursions there and it really is about again how do.

00:19:01 Lael

We we're we're.

00:19:02 Lael

Creating a bushtucker garden at the moment as well.

00:19:04 Lael

And how do?

00:19:05 Lael

We really connect into those indigenous roots and and not, you know, and really doing it well, like really incorporating it into.

00:19:12 Lael

To all our learning.

00:19:14 Lael

So that's kind of a bit of a snapshot of what we do at the school.

00:19:18 Lael

You know we look even simple things which were very important to me in building the school is really around choice and autonomy for kids that.

00:19:25 Lael

That sometimes children are hungry and they need to eat, so we always have grazing platters every morning.

00:19:29 Lael

So some kids will come into school in the morning will come and just chop up vegetables or fruit with one of the guides.

00:19:34 Lael

Everyone brings a fruit or vegetable to school everyday we have grazing platters so they chopped up in the morning and then they're in the classroom for the children just to eat in the morning if they want so.

00:19:44 Lael

It's just all fruit and vegetables.

00:19:45 Lael

So that's always there for the kids in the morning.

00:19:48 Lael

You know they have toilets that are just right besides their their learning spaces, so they they can just go when they need to come.

00:19:55 Lael

You know they can drink when they need to.

00:19:56 Lael

They're allowed to move around, you know we, we just have general guidelines.

00:20:00 Lael

Which is, you know when we're trying to give you instruction we really need you to sit and listen.

00:20:03 Lael

To those that they will always give you the choice and autonomy when we need so and really again when we when we can give children choice to do something we will, you know we say this to kids.

00:20:13 Lael

Sometimes we have to move as a quote from, so we're doing this, but and what I think they've learned over the years, the year and a half that we're there for the kids that have been there, is that, yeah, yeah, there is lots of choice.

00:20:23 Lael

And they do get to feel autonomous in what they're doing, and sometimes we have to do stuff together, and they've learned how to integrate that.

00:20:30 Lael

And you know, we find it works quite well. And and our philosophy is to for child's not wanting to learn or they're having a hard time, then we're asking the question what's going on for them, and that's why we have extra staff.

00:20:41 Lael

To be able to lean in to see what's going on, you know to be able to help them, so we have, you know, a lot of boys in our school who really learn beautifully through their bodies in their hands and sitting down and writing and reading is really tricky.

00:20:54 Lael

So how do we incorporate their learning in stuff they're interested in?

00:20:58 Lael

So we do construction and building.

00:21:01 Lael

And movement and lots of stuff, particularly for for kids like that that actually, do you know, learn better in those ways so it's it was, you know.

00:21:08 Lael

The the philosophy.

00:21:09 Lael

Is really trying to get to know these children go?

00:21:11 Lael

Who are you?

00:21:12 Lael

How do you learn best and how can we support you to be the best, most magnificent version of yourself?

00:21:18 Janine

That just sounds like heaven.

00:21:21 Janine

It's so nice I'm I'm just wondering like how it sounds quite different to usual environment.

00:21:28 Janine

So how do you prepare your guides?

00:21:31 Janine

For for existing in this space?

00:21:34 Lael

Yes, look, it's.

00:21:36 Lael

It's tricky because and and our guides will also attest to this is that most schooling environments are punitive, which means.

00:21:46 Lael

You must be good, and if you're not good, I'm going to put your name in the board.

00:21:49 Lael

If you're good, I will reward you.

00:21:51 Lael

And you know.

00:21:52 Lael

There's many, many problems that go with that, like if you want to know more about that, you just can look at the work of Alfie Kohn.

00:21:58 Lael

He has written many books and explains it beautifully around the issue with punishments and rewards, and so the trick with that and we found that with the guides is that you in a situation like that you are.

00:22:11 Lael

Using your power over the children.

00:22:12 Lael

To get them to do.

00:22:13 Lael

What they want and.

00:22:14 Lael

Really, what we're doing in those moments is saying to the children you must be good, and if you're not good, we're going to withdraw our connection or our attention or our love from you.

00:22:22 Lael

And so the philosophy that I work with with our our guides is that children naturally want to feel good and they naturally want to feel connected to us.

00:22:32 Lael

And this is the same in parenting.

00:22:34 Lael

They want to do the right thing.

00:22:36 Lael

No child feels good hitting another child.

00:22:38 Lael

No child feels good.

00:22:40 Lael

You know, screaming or you know, having a hard time.

00:22:43 Lael

They're doing it on some level because they can't help it.

00:22:46 Lael

Or there's a need that's not being met.

00:22:48 Lael

There's something in the way, and so really how we work with that is connection always has to come first so that when an adult is deeply connected with the child and the child feels connected and feels scene, they are more likely to want to cooperate.

00:23:01 Lael

They're more likely to to be respectful or those kind of things, and.

00:23:06 Lael

So you know preparing our stuff at this has been tricky because many of them have had to do a lot of unlearning.

00:23:11 Lael

You know many of them have been taught in the.

00:23:13 Lael

Schooling system well, this is.

00:23:15 Lael

How you do discipline in a classroom?

00:23:17 Lael

And usually it's about.

00:23:18 Lael

I'll give you a warning and then it's this.

00:23:20 Lael

And then it's that.

00:23:20 Lael

And then I'll take something away from you.

00:23:23 Lael

So you know teachers are like well, what do we do with?

00:23:27 Lael

Well, we work on the relationship but also we have like a four step process that we work within our school which is really around when kids are out of out of balance or misbehaving.

00:23:37 Lael

What we do you know?

00:23:38 Lael

So the first step is always is there in need that's not being met there?

00:23:42 Lael

Do they just need to move?

00:23:43 Lael

Their bodies, do they need to go and sit somewhere?

00:23:44 Lael

Else do they need to go to toilet?

00:23:46 Lael

Do they need something to eat?

00:23:47 Lael

Like is there in need and once we meet that need then that can you know they can often feel better?

00:23:52 Lael

The second thing we.

00:23:54 Lael

We always look for is.

00:23:55 Lael

Do they need more information.

00:23:56 Lael

So some children really need information and when they don't have that information it can make them feel quite anxious.

00:24:02 Lael

You know for some children you could just say right?

00:24:04 Lael

We're going over here now.

00:24:05 Lael

We're doing this and then they're like, but what what?

00:24:08 Lael

And how long for?

00:24:08 Lael

And we don't normally do this on Tuesdays.

00:24:10 Lael

And what does that mean and?

00:24:11 Lael

So we wherever and always we are always giving information around why we're doing what we're doing, how we're doing it, how long will be doing it for so that those children who need information that can make them feel more settled or or comma in there being so, and that can also be with learning.

00:24:27 Lael

It could be that if a child is having trouble, it's like OK.

00:24:29 Lael

Do not understand.

00:24:30 Lael

Can I explain it to you?

00:24:31 Lael

Another way, let's give you more information.

00:24:33 Lael

So firstly, we're looking at uh, need second, we're looking for information.

00:24:36 Lael

The third thing we look at is, can we be playful and brings them?

00:24:40 Lael

Connection to what's happening.

00:24:41 Lael

So if a child is having a hard time, perhaps they need a little bit of playfulness.

00:24:45 Lael

A little bit of silliness that allows us to connect him with them that helps them feel.

00:24:49 Lael

Ah, OK.

00:24:50 Lael

There's someone on my side, and then the fourth thing that we do is we set a boundary or a limit for a child if they are having a hard time.

00:25:00 Lael

Where we might have to set up?

00:25:01 Lael

No, I'm not willing for you to do that.

00:25:03 Lael

I'm going to have to move you over here, you know, let let's go and visit one of our other guides 'cause I can see you're having a hard time.

00:25:10 Lael

It is not a punishment.

00:25:11 Lael

It is not shaming a child, but it is setting a limit.

00:25:13 Lael

With the understanding that if they push up against that limit and they get angry and upset, then we welcome their tears.

00:25:19 Lael

We welcome their feelings because we look at it as then being able to offload or unpack some of the big stuff they're carrying so they can come back into balance.

00:25:28 Lael

So we usually work with those four steps.

00:25:31 Lael

It isn't as easy as just saying right.

00:25:33 Lael

If you don't stop, you're not going to go out for recess.

00:25:35 Lael

You know, when the bell.

00:25:36 Lael

Things right, it's not as easy as that.

00:25:39 Lael

It takes time and it takes energy and it takes a lot more from the guides to build that relationship and focus on connection to do it.

00:25:48 Lael

And that's where we also have an assistant, and in the room is because sometimes it's very.

00:25:52 Lael

It's too hard to be teaching 14 other kids if one child is having a really, really hard time.

00:25:57 Lael

And that's why we always are looking to have some extra adults around to support them if they need with whatever is going on.

00:26:03 Lael

So I think for many of our team there was a lot of unlearning that had to happen around what they had.

00:26:09 Lael

They've done it.

00:26:10 Lael

You know we I do a lot of training with them around these philosophies and these understandings we check in about it.

00:26:16 Lael

A lot of the time we keep asking what worked for you.

00:26:19 Lael

What didn't our principle is amazing so you know every week in our meeting.

00:26:24 Lael

She's like what worked, what didn't.

00:26:26 Lael

What do you need support with what?

00:26:27 Lael

Some other ideas and the team are really brilliant at sharing their ideas.

00:26:30 Lael

Around OK, this child that doesn't work, but this works and this is what I found and I used this playfulness here and that was brilliant and and I set a limit here and then.

00:26:38 Lael

This child had tears and then what I noticed is here.

00:26:41 Lael

So there's a lot of talking collaboration around.

00:26:44 Lael

What are we seeing?

00:26:44 Lael

What works?

00:26:45 Lael

And what doesn't?

00:26:47 Speaker 2

So I.

00:26:49 Janine

Have a question then?

00:26:52 Janine

There's like a lot of teachers leaving the profession at the moment with due to overwhelm and what they might term, behavior, management issues, et cetera, et cetera.

00:27:03 Janine

Do you find that your teachers are?

00:27:07 Janine

Sort of, what better?

00:27:09 Janine

Adjusted are they.

00:27:10 Janine

Are they feeling happier in this kind of space?

00:27:15 Lael

I think one of the key components for me when I built this or created this school was we have to support the adults in order to be able to do what we want to do with the children.

00:27:26 Lael

It's impossible to.

00:27:29 Lael

To turn up and this is from a parenting lens as well as a teaching lens.

00:27:33 Lael

It's impossible to turn up and hold space for kids feelings and be playful if you are exhausted.

00:27:40 Lael

If you haven't had enough sleep, if you are under resourced right, it's very hard for a teacher too.

00:27:48 Lael

To connect and be playful and do all those things when they're like I'm going to get through this curriculum or I've got to do this data I've got to do this.

00:27:54 Lael

I've got to do that, so we come from the angle of it is relationship first, learning second, so you know a lot of what we've also seen is is some of our teachers like I got.

00:28:06 Lael

I don't feel like I'm hitting this part.

00:28:08 Lael

Or I don't feel like I'm being able to get delivered this part of the curriculum, and then we go.

00:28:11 Lael

OK, let's remember there's learning happening everywhere, and where else are we seeing the learning?

00:28:16 Lael

Not just in this you've ticked this box, you tick this box and.

00:28:19 Lael

Box, so it's been really great for them to be able to look at it from a different lens and go.

00:28:24 Lael

Actually, I'm seeing lots of learning here.

00:28:26 Lael

It just may not look as conventional.

00:28:28 Lael

What it is what it is.

00:28:30 Lael

So my philosophy is 100%. We have to support our team in order to be able to do the job that we want them to do.

00:28:38 Lael

So what that looks like is lots of checking in how are you feeling?

00:28:42 Lael

What's going on?

00:28:43 Lael

We welcome tears from our staff, always like some coming.

00:28:47 Lael

I'm really overwhelmed and we're like sit down and have a big cry and will listen to you.

00:28:50 Lael

And well done for being really vulnerable and feeling it.

00:28:53 Lael

And how do we help you and what can we do and what do we need to do to support you so you know it is so much around?

00:28:59 Lael

How do we help these adults feel supported so they can do the job they need to do so?

00:29:05 Lael

You know, I know from and I'm not a teacher working in a school classic leak, but I know from many.

00:29:11 Lael

You know conversations with our guides there like this doesn't happen enough.

00:29:14 Lael

Of course we don't get the support that we're needing and and so for me, you know my role in the school because I am on the board and I am the director of vision for the school.

00:29:23 Lael

But my role really is to support the leaders, so I support our leader of learning.

00:29:27 Lael

I support our.

00:29:28 Lael

Being God, I support our principle and my job is to go and listen to their feelings.

00:29:32 Lael

So I'm like tell me all the things that are hard, have events complain, get it all out.

00:29:37 Lael

How can I support you?

00:29:38 Lael

What do you think that's teaching you?

00:29:39 Lael

So my job is to support them.

00:29:41 Lael

Their job is to support the team.

00:29:42 Lael

The team job is to support the kids so it it's not perfect 'cause we don't live in a perfect world, but.

00:29:48 Lael

And you know, we've only been open for a year and a half.

00:29:50 Lael

If we are learning what works, we are constantly tuning in with our staff, saying what feels good, what doesn't?

00:29:57 Lael

How do we support you?

00:29:58 Lael

What do you think we need to do and and because we're in new school, we're constantly evolving and we're constantly still asking the question.

00:30:04 Lael

How can we do it better?

00:30:06 Lael

You know what does work, what doesn't.

00:30:09 Lael

What is the possibilities here?

00:30:11 Lael

So I think it it for me.

00:30:13 Lael

It comes back to people.

00:30:14 Lael

It comes back to connection, comes back to nourishing the team so that they can do the job we want them to do and are willing to do it because it's not as it's an extra ask often to teach or or you know.

00:30:27 Lael

To turn up in this way.

00:30:30 Janine

Yeah, 'cause I'm just wondering, like, UM, we've sort of growing up in a world where expressing your feelings in public is not really a done thing, so I just wonder if you come up against teachers who really struggle with children being expressive in class and.

00:30:47 Lael

Yeah, well, I guess we don't hire teachers who aren't comfortable with that, so it's so funny.

00:30:53

No happens.

00:30:54 Lael

Like even in our interview process, you know the questions we ask I guess.

00:30:59 Lael

Aren't standard questions, but they are all about, you know, doing your own self development work.

00:31:04 Lael

They're all about reflection.

00:31:06 Lael

And most of the people who come to interviews end up crying in the interview.

00:31:10 Lael

They all go Oh my God, I'm so sorry and.

00:31:11 Lael

We're like, oh.

00:31:12 Lael

No, that's brilliant.

00:31:14 Lael

We're like we just like.

00:31:15 Lael

Tick well done.

00:31:17 Lael

Uhm, we're very clear feelings or our priority at the school for everybody.

00:31:17 Speaker 2

With her

00:31:21 Lael

For teachers, for for, the guides, for the parents, for their children like we welcome.

00:31:26 Lael

Because the more we lean into feeling it and process it, then the free we are to be who we need to be, and so it's modeled.

00:31:34 Lael

So a lot of even in our training is all about connection and sharing and vulnerability.

00:31:39 Lael

And you know, in order to be a team that works together, we need to feel safe with each other.

00:31:42 Lael

And that comes right from the principle all the way.

00:31:44 Lael

Down you know beautiful principle, Claire.

00:31:47 Lael

War has shared and cried in front of the team and and everybody has, you know, and we just see that is really normal and beautiful.

00:31:54 Lael

So it is an environment that is deeply supportive, and you know if if a staff member walks into our principals office and they're like.

00:32:03 Lael

I'm I'm not coping.

00:32:03 Lael

I'm having a really hard day and they burst into tears.

00:32:05 Lael

She goes brilliant sit down, let me get someone to covey class.

00:32:08 Lael

I'm here, I'm listening.

00:32:09 Lael

Let me make your cup of tea.

00:32:11 Lael

Let's move it because when you feel seen and heard then you're going to feel better to go back to doing what you need to do.

00:32:17 Lael

'cause we know and I know this.

00:32:18 Lael

From all my.

00:32:19 Lael

Work with children over the years when we are pretending that we're OK.

00:32:22 Lael

Children know it, they feel it, and it doesn't feel safe for them.

00:32:26 Lael

We rather have an authentic adult with children saying hey, I'm having a hard day today, but I'm still able to turn up and be here then kids are like ah good.

00:32:35 Lael

OK, my my inner barometer that was telling me your uh.

00:32:38 Lael

Off is actually on the money and that makes me feel better.

00:32:42 Janine

That's really interesting, actually.

00:32:46 Janine

Yeah, I just I can't even imagine that the blessings that those teachers must be feeling because it's not like it's not happening anyway.

00:32:52 Janine

Like I know like we can't pretend teachers don't cry in the course of their work.

00:32:57 Janine

My first year, I think I cried under my desk every second day.

00:33:01 Janine

So to have that support I just wow, you know, good on you guys.

00:33:07 Janine

I'm sure there are many people who are going to be listening to this who got a few tears peeking out of their eyes at the moment.

00:33:14 Lael

Just thinking about that, having that in their school.

00:33:18 Lael

So yeah, that's really lovely.

00:33:20 Lael

I think you know for me what was so important in building this school is that it had to be authentic and.

00:33:28 Lael

That if we are going to stand for trauma informed education, if we are going to make a stand for deep connection and encouraging children to be who they need to be, then the adults have to model it.

00:33:42 Lael

And the.

00:33:42 Lael

Adults have to live.

00:33:44 Lael

But and so you know the team that we have all the the stuff that we're wanting to attract.

00:33:52 Lael

Have gotta be people that are willing to do their own work.

00:33:54 Lael

They've got to be people that are willing to look at their shadow.

00:33:57 Lael

There's got to be people who are willing to be vulnerable because we can.

00:34:00 Lael

Only you know, I I know this in my work we only take people as far as we're willing to go ourselves.

00:34:05 Lael

And even though this is about teaching and educating children, there is this whole emotional social element that is also part of what a teacher does, and so if we want to do that well, we also have to be in tune with ourselves to know where we sit within that.

00:34:22 Janine

I just love this.

00:34:23 Janine

I just I feel like if this was done more and more broadly that.

00:34:30 Janine

The social shift that might occur across the generation would just be sort of extraordinary.

00:34:36 Lael

It is to me is the answer of moving forward as a planet.

00:34:40 Lael

You know the work I do with parenting.

00:34:42 Lael

Uh, you know for many, many years has been around.

00:34:45 Lael

How do we create more connection in our families and.

00:34:49 Lael

You can use tools.

00:34:50 Lael

By listening and playing and all that stuff, but unless you're willing to look at your own crap as an adult, you're only going to.

00:34:57 Lael

It's only going to band aid so far like we as humans have to do the work on our own stories in our own wounds.

00:35:03 Lael

Because if we don't, we just unconsciously pass that on to the next generation, and so the more adults that we have that are willing to lean into looking at their own shadow looking at their own work and their own store.

00:35:14 Lael

Freeze, then they're able to turn up as more compassionate humans, and they may be able to turn up as more compassionate adults to model that to children to teach them what empathy is to to tune into them in a whole different ways.

00:35:27 Lael

So if we can do that in the home and then again our reason for building the school was Mel and I, you know, Mel was like I want, what happens in our home.

00:35:34 Lael

To be continued at school, I want to be able to drop my child at school knowing that they're going to be held, and that if they're having a hard time, there's going to be an adult who's not gonna tell them to suck it up and get on with it, or who's not going to dismiss them or he's not going to make them wrong, but he's going to sit there and say, hey, you're having a hard time and I'm with you and you're doing a good job.

00:35:54 Lael

And so we wanted it to continue from hopefully what we hold in the home into our education as well, so that it isn't a disconnect.

00:36:03 Janine

It's just so powerful though, because I just you wouldn't.

00:36:07 Janine

You wouldn't be happy watching your partner treat your child with some of the ways that teaches through, and you know.

00:36:12 Janine

And like you said, it's sort of not their fault.

00:36:14 Janine

In some ways it's a system they've inherited.

00:36:16 Janine

It's what they're taught at school.

00:36:17 Janine

It's what they experienced at school.

00:36:20 Janine

It's been passed down for generation upon generation from generation.

00:36:24 Janine

And it's really hard to unlearn and relearn something new.

00:36:27 Janine

But but that idea of being able to send your child to somewhere where they're feeling safe and connected, it's really it's what every parent hopes foreign wants.

00:36:37 Janine

But isn't it amazing actually what we tolerate because we don't feel like there are too many other options.

00:36:43 Janine

'cause I know they're our parents sending their kids to school everyday knowing that.

00:36:47 Lael

Totally, that was.

00:36:47 Janine

They're gonna get Belson yelled at today or.

00:36:50 Lael

Yeah, that was that was me with my three children like I have a 22 year old and 19 year old and a 14 year old.

00:36:56 Lael

And I feel like and again, it's just the system.

00:36:59 Lael

I have no blame.

00:37:00 Lael

I absolutely believe teachers are doing the best job.

00:37:02 Lael

They know how you know, I know so many of them are like.

00:37:05 Lael

I don't this.

00:37:06 Lael

This feels broken to me.

00:37:07 Lael

I don't know how to fix it.

00:37:08 Lael

And change it.

00:37:09 Lael

You know it's it's, it's a bigger systemic issue.

00:37:13 Lael

That what we're dealing with and I watched my children navigate schooling in that way.

00:37:18 Lael

And I was just at a loss.

00:37:20 Lael

Was like all I can do is be there at the end of the day to help you unpack what happened to listen.

00:37:24 Lael

To your feelings.

00:37:25 Lael

About it to.

00:37:26 Lael

Give you insight into what may be going on in that bigger picture to really help them have emotional intelligence and understanding around how the systems work and what that looks.

00:37:37 Lael

Like and what's really interesting, you know my my beautiful son he works at would line now and he's there really to support a lot of the boys physically.

00:37:47 Lael

And you know, and when you know we do a bit training without guides and I was sitting down with my son saying, you know, this is how we work with behavior and this is how we do this.

00:37:54 Lael

And this is how we do that.

00:37:55 Lael

And he looks at me and he's like mum.

00:37:58 Lael

Of course, that is that's the only way to do it, right?

00:38:00 Lael

And I remember looking at anything.

00:38:01 Lael

Thinking oh man, he knows this in his cells and he's being because that's how we've raised him to not be punitive to not to shame, but to always go.

00:38:09 Lael

What's going on for you?

00:38:10 Lael

So his natural state is to do that with the children naturally, and then he works as a disability support worker as well.

00:38:16 Lael

So he's really beautifully attuned to kids, and when they're having a hard time and what I've witnessed.

00:38:22 Lael

With him is that he doesn't have to do a whole lot of unlearning, because he's already known what it feels like to be responded to that way, and then it's naturally passed on.

00:38:32 Janine

That's so nice 'cause I was just while you were talking before he started talking about him.

00:38:36 Janine

I was wondering, I'm like, gosh, your kids are grown like, I wonder if there's an element of disappointment that.

00:38:41 Janine

They've missed out on.

00:38:42 Janine

This store that you've built or whether lead.

00:38:44 Janine

Done it earlier or yeah.

00:38:46 Lael

Yeah, well they did say this to me.

00:38:47 Lael

Why, why couldn't you would fill this meaning like I know and my youngest, who's in year nine at the moment she's like, can't you build?

00:38:53 Lael

Mia High school.

00:38:54 Speaker 2

Like you know I just.

00:38:55 Lael

Want everything you do there.

00:38:57 Lael

I want in a secondary school and you know, she's she's currently going to a Catholic, you know, school and you know she's coming up against all those elements of.

00:39:04 Lael

Punitive discipline and this this and this.

00:39:06 Lael

And you know what's beautiful though is she can see it.

00:39:08 Lael

She's like this doesn't mean I'm a bad person and this is the only way they know how to control kids like she's got insight into it.

00:39:14 Lael

So it kind of rolls off her, but for a lot of kids they don't.

00:39:17 Lael

And then you know that it sets up that story if I'm good or I'm bad.

00:39:21 Lael

I'm not smart, I'm this.

00:39:22 Lael

I'm that, you know there's all those elements.

00:39:24 Lael

To go with it, and again I I really want to emphasize, I know everyone is doing the best job.

00:39:28 Lael

They know how right we.

00:39:30 Lael

We're working in a system and we're working in a paradigm that hasn't yet moved.

00:39:35 Lael

You know, it's still strongly in this behavior.

00:39:38 Lael

Paradigm that just says when you're good or reward you when you're bad.

00:39:42 Lael

I'll I'll, you know, take something away from you and you know that's where we still are in the world and we we need to shift the needle a bit a lot.

00:39:49 Janine

You know it's it's yeah a lot it.

00:39:52 Janine

It's funny 'cause I remember standing there as a teacher and there's days when you feel powerless and I was reflecting on that this morning for some weird reason I had a teacher dream last night that was quite a pleasant one, but sometimes I have this sort of nightmare.

00:40:03 Janine

Where I'm like completely powerless and they're just running Riot and I know I stood in front of a class like that and I'm literally searching through my tool kit for different strategies like let's try this off this one first and see if there is more.

00:40:14 Janine

They'll do the silent waiting.

00:40:15 Janine

They'll do this or do this, and then eventually you get to the point where you're like I have nothing else left but to punish or to yell or to.

00:40:20 Speaker 2

Yes yes yes.

00:40:23 Janine

You know, guilt them or whatever else it is.

00:40:25 Janine

I'm disappointed whatever else you when you know that they're so effective and they were.

00:40:31 Janine

Then it becomes really easy just to pull out that reliable old one that.

00:40:34

You're like well.

00:40:35 Janine

They know I don't do this one very often, so when I do it, I'm serious you.

00:40:38 Janine

Know and they'll stop.

00:40:40 Janine

But it's it.

00:40:42 Janine

It actually does break.

00:40:43 Janine

A little bit.

00:40:44 Janine

Of your heart on the inside to have to do it because you know you've tried all the other things and you get to your wits end and you don't have.

00:40:46 Speaker 2

Thank you.

00:40:50 Janine

The the structure.

00:40:51 Janine

Around you to know what's better, you know.

00:40:56 Lael

And look at our school when that happens.

00:40:59 Lael

'cause it still does, we set our guides, take kids outside, just drop whatever you're doing.

00:41:04 Lael

Go outside, go let them run, go get them, take their shoes off.

00:41:08 Lael

Let's all just reconnect like don't keep pushing like move and shift and or call in some help or.

00:41:16 Lael

Don't you know when we get into the point where we're wanting to yell or we're wanting to do this, it's when we need to take a pause and we need to shift the energy of what's going on.

00:41:24 Lael

Here and you know we, we have.

00:41:26 Lael

We're fortunate enough that all our classrooms have outdoor elements to them that when we often do take them outside and we go, right, you need to go climb from trees or you need to do that.

00:41:35 Lael

The beauty of nature holds a lot of the children to help them come back.

00:41:38 Lael

And we also then tune into what is going on collectively as a group.

00:41:42 Lael

Now this last term.

00:41:44 Lael

That we've just all lived through has been much.

00:41:47 Lael

Massive and I know not just at our school, but for many other educators.

00:41:51 Lael

I speak to the behaviors being huge, right?

00:41:54 Lael

Because this is the first full term children have done in two years, but well, particularly.

00:41:57 Lael

For our kids down here in in Vic.

00:42:00 Lael

And so I also believe you know, because I work with trauma, there's a lot of kids that have got PTSD and parents.

00:42:06 Lael

They don't even realize they have.

00:42:07 Lael

There's a lot of needing to build safety again, there's a lot needing to build connection commune.

00:42:12 Lael

Maybe all the kind of things that we've just lived through the last two years are turning up and they turn up in the classroom.

00:42:19 Lael

And so there's going to be testing as in, the kids are going to test the limits and the boundaries.

00:42:23 Lael

There's going to be a lot more feelings that are popping up, so we have to be super.

00:42:27 Lael

Super compassionate and we.

00:42:29 Lael

Have to be really gentle with what's happening with the kids and super gentle.

00:42:32 Lael

With the team as well, because they're living through.

00:42:35 Lael

You know this whole other unprecedented time.

00:42:38 Lael

Which is which is peppered with trauma everywhere, and so that makes it super super hard.

00:42:44 Lael

So I think you know we we what we've just come through too, is adding a whole other dynamic in element to it.

00:42:51 Janine

Right, and I guess the temptation for me is to ask if you have any secret tips.

00:42:57 Janine

I don't know if you do, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

00:43:00 Lael

Around helping the children to me.

00:43:02 Janine

Around how to help teachers cope during this period of time?

00:43:06 Lael

Yeah, so well again I come back to you know and like trauma is.

00:43:11 Lael

I guess my work and so it's it's individual for any everyone.

00:43:16 Lael

But what helps?

00:43:18 Lael

And you know, this is kind of the bigger picture.

00:43:20 Lael

Two what helps us move trauma?

00:43:22 Lael

Reason we feel safe.

00:43:23 Lael

So when the body starts to feel safe enough, it will start to release what's going on and that's why we often do see a lot of tears at our school because tuition will come.

00:43:31 Lael

They feel that sense of connection, safety and then the feelings come out right and we don't see that as wrong.

00:43:35 Lael

We see that is beautiful.

00:43:36 Lael

We see that as as a gorgeous work that we're doing there to help the kid.

00:43:40 Lael

Kids then feel better.

00:43:41 Lael

We're not there to be the children, therapists, and we, but we are there to witness and watch and just hold if we can.

00:43:48 Lael

And then if it moves, it moves.

00:43:50 Lael

Come in a standard classroom.

00:43:51 Lael

Again, I would just come back to you.

00:43:53 Lael

How can we create more connection?

00:43:55 Lael

How can we do more listening?

00:43:56 Lael

How do we help the kids move their bodies in ways that feel stuck sometimes?

00:44:01 Lael

I mean I, I get asked often to go and do training with teachers, but I I I am really hesitant to do it because I feel like.

00:44:10 Lael

But I'd be offering them is a band aid because their system isn't set up to do it in the way that we.

00:44:14 Lael

Do it and it often won't work because when you have 26 kids in your class, you can't sit and listen to one child feelings.

00:44:22

Right?

00:44:22 Lael

You just can't write or many schools don't have the options to go outside and take the shoes off and connect with nature, or there isn't sensory things that children can do to move their bodies like you know there's a.

00:44:34 Lael

There's a whole lot that's missing in the infrastructure to support what we probably know that children need.

00:44:40 Lael

And so I you know my my heart really breaks them because I can see that they're working in situations that are super challenging because they don't have the tools or support they need to support the kids in the way that they know.

00:44:52 Lael

They probably could.

00:44:54 Lael

So you know, at the end of the day always just come back to this connection, listening where we can.

00:45:01 Lael

You know it's it's never doubt just one adult getting down low looking a child in the eye with compassion or with kindness.

00:45:08 Lael

A gentle touch like just those things matter.

00:45:12 Lael

Children feel them.

00:45:12 Lael

They feel safety, they feel connection and that when children sense and feel that they're more likely to seek that out when they're having a hard time.

00:45:23 Janine

Yeah, that's it's all true.

00:45:27 Lael

I wish I could give you a 123 magic do this, but I I think it's bigger.

00:45:30 Janine

Yeah, no, you're right.

00:45:32 Janine

Yeah, like if.

00:45:33 Janine

The systems aren't there and the infrastructure is not there and it does make it tough.

00:45:37 Janine

So I'm I'm sorry teachers.

00:45:38 Janine

It looks like some of you are going to be stuck in a little twilight zone where you know you just gotta keep battling on with what you have.

00:45:45 Janine

But if you can implement some of that stuff you know do do try and good luck.

00:45:51 Janine

Uhm, so let's let's.

00:45:53 Janine

Flip this around to a bit of a positive, more positive energy here now.

00:45:57 Janine

So do you have any favorite stories of success that you want to share?

00:46:04 Lael

I have I have many from what we've witnessed, UM.

00:46:10 Lael

You know, for us successes things like, UM, one beautiful little girl who came to our school this year who started was starting to feel upset in the classroom.

00:46:20 Lael

Wanted to go for a walk with one of the assistant guides.

00:46:23 Lael

And the system guy just said let's go for a walk and say what's happening and they stay burst into tears and they said at my old school I was never allowed to cry or feel what I was really feeling.

00:46:35 Lael

And and here I am, and so can we just walk.

00:46:38 Lael

And can I just cry?

00:46:39 Lael

And this guide was like yes and so she just walked and cried.

00:46:43 Lael

And then they laughed. And it was maybe 5-6 minutes. All they needed was connection and safety. And then she went.

00:46:49 Lael

I feel better and then just went back into the classroom like to me that is a huge success that this child is learning how it's safe for me to feel what I need to feel.

00:46:57 Lael

I can seek out support and then I can.

00:47:00 Lael

Move it up some.

00:47:02 Lael

You know we teach the children a lot about when anger comes up, or when things feel really tricky.

00:47:06 Lael

That often behind anger is usually powerlessness or sadness or worry.

00:47:11 Lael

And if we can hold or we can, you know, find a Safeway to bring that anger, then we can reach behind that and feel what we're feeling.

00:47:20 Lael

Underneath, so we've had beautiful openings from the children around.

00:47:25 Lael

I feel that I'm not smart in this way, or I feel worried about this, or we've been able to sit with them in their anger and move past it to to get to some of the beautiful stuff underneath.

00:47:36 Lael

Uhm, we had this beautiful story of this little one in foundation who just whenever they were starting to do some writing.

00:47:44 Lael

Our beautiful guide was telling me this little one would always go.

00:47:47 Lael

I'm tired or I need to have a nap or she would just always look for anything to not have to do it and so she resisted and resisted for weeks and weeks and weeks.

00:47:55 Lael

And then when when the guides had some space one time and this little girl, you know we're gonna do, we're gonna write the letters in your name.

00:48:03 Lael

You know there's some letters in your name, and this little one was like I don't want to do it and the guy just said, you know what I'm gonna sit with you and I'm going to sit with you for as long as you need and I want you to tell me all the things that feel hard.

00:48:13 Lael

About it, and she's like I can't do it, and I'm not.

00:48:16

Good at it.

00:48:17 Lael

And she was big tease and be crying and and I just set them like I hear you and she didn't try and convince her of anything different.

00:48:24 Lael

She didn't try and fix her, she just went.

00:48:26 Lael

I know it's really hard doing things that feel challenging and I'm just right with you and we will.

00:48:31 Lael

You know, I'm here and so.

00:48:34 Lael

You know there was like 15 minutes of complaining and crying and I can't.

00:48:37 Lael

And then she picked up the pencil and she wrote the.

00:48:39 Lael

Tiniest little P.

00:48:41

The corner of.

00:48:42 Lael

Paper and the guide was like, oh, I'm gonna take that as a win right?

00:48:46 Lael

And then the next day or two she came back in and she said.

00:48:52 Lael

You know 'cause this little girl would just refused to write or hold a pencil or anything, and then the next day she came in and she said, how do I spell doctor Doctor Dark because that's what I did on the weekend and then wrote this full sentence, right?

00:49:03 Lael

And and the guide was just like wow.

00:49:04 Lael

This is a child who wouldn't even write a letter, wrote a full sentence and then they were doing some sharing at the end of the day.

00:49:11 Lael

What was the best part?

00:49:12 Lael

Of your day and this little girl goes writing.

00:49:14 Lael

I love learning so much.

00:49:15 Lael

Writing is amazing.

00:49:17

The guide was like.

00:49:19 Lael

But she was saying she was telling me this story going.

00:49:22 Lael

It was such beautiful evidence about sitting in the uncomfortable with them, and to say I know this is hard and I believe that you'll do it.

00:49:29 Lael

And I'm right with you.

00:49:30 Lael

You and she moved past those feelings and now she's just writing non-stop.

00:49:34 Lael

She's like she can't get enough of it, so you know, it's and and there's many things.

00:49:38 Lael

I think many stories we have like that where it's about.

00:49:41 Lael

It's not trying to fix a child, it's not trying to convince them they can do it, it's about meeting them where they're at, making it OK and.

00:49:50 Lael

Offering the possibility of, you know, I believe that you can when you're ready, so we've seen that with kids, with writing with reading with so many things that.

00:49:59 Lael

Many children will resist to me 'cause they're worried they're going to get it wrong.

00:50:02 Lael

They don't think they're good enough at it.

00:50:03 Lael

You know, we talk about failure at our school is just like a first draft like no one gets a first draft, right?

00:50:08 Lael

We all just.

00:50:09 Lael

Keep trying so.

00:50:09 Lael

We model failure heaps we we model how we mess up we we talk about how we make mistakes all the time because we're learning and we're doing it and and again we're here.

00:50:10

Right so.

00:50:19 Lael

Languaging from the kids, even when they're building the sound city and stuff.

00:50:22 Lael

That's OK, it didn't work.

00:50:23 Lael

Let's try it again.

00:50:24 Lael

This way let's.

00:50:25 Lael

You know there is.

00:50:26 Lael

Again, we're trying to help the children understand or learn.

00:50:29 Lael

You know, is that we're all.

00:50:30 Lael

Learning and and.

00:50:32 Lael

And we just we give it a go and we see what happens.

00:50:35 Lael

And we reflect on it and and so you know, there's there's many, many stories like that of children that have been really resistant with their learning or worried.

00:50:43 Lael

And then they move some of their feelings and they move some of the stuckness and then.

00:50:46 Lael

It's just it's.

00:50:47 Lael

Brilliant, so there are many, many, many beautiful stories you know that.

00:50:53 Lael

Yeah, that we keep seeing and hearing.

00:50:55 Lael

Yeah and not only that.

00:50:56 Lael

I think kids who came to a school that were very quiet perhaps very shy.

00:51:01 Lael

I'm very, you know, just wouldn't speak up, you know, and now they're up there in front of groups of kids talking and running, reading sessions and doing all sorts of stuff that perhaps they wouldn't have before and parents reflecting back to us just going.

00:51:15 Lael

Man, I can see their spirit coming alive and we're like, yes, that is what we want.

00:51:22 Janine

Unreal great stories, thanks.

00:51:24 Janine

They'll do you have any like resources for the adults that they can maybe access if they wanted to dip their toes into this trauma informed me.

00:51:36 Lael

So I I have worked a lot with a a way of parenting called Aware Parenting which is developed by Doctor Aletha Solter.

00:51:43 Lael

So she wrote a book called The Aware Baby, which wouldn't necessarily be a book that, if you're an educator, you wanted to start with.

00:51:50 Lael

Uhm, she's got a great book called Cooperative and connected and that really talks about listening to feelings and what gets in the way for children when it becomes the behavior or cooperating or connecting.

00:52:03 Lael

So a lot of my work is influenced by, you know, our natural innate healing ability that we all have to process feelings and emotions.

00:52:11 Lael

When we don't.

00:52:12 Lael

We then learn to repress them, or we turn them into aggression and and that's what we see on the outside.

00:52:18 Lael

So when we can learn to express our feelings in healthy ways, we feel more balanced.

00:52:23 Lael

We feel more connected.

00:52:24 Lael

You know our capacity to learn increases so so elite soldiers work has definitely influenced me and.

00:52:32 Lael

Then what I've done?

00:52:33 Lael

I think Alfie Cones work is beautiful.

00:52:35 Lael

His books, unconditional parenting.

00:52:37 Lael

His book punished by rewards.

00:52:39 Lael

He's got books on education, which are brilliant, so I'd definitely recommend reading reading his work as well.

00:52:47 Lael

Even even the work around nonviolent communication, Marshall Rosenberg, his work or books around communication and talking, and all those kind of things can also be really, really powerful.

00:52:59 Lael

You know, for me, like I do a lot of work and I work mainly with adult educators and parents on what I call

00:53:06 Lael

In printing, which is basically all the messages and imprints we received as children.

00:53:11 Lael

That we believe to be true that we often then keep repeating, you know as adults, so our belief systems around trust.

00:53:17 Lael

I believe systems around anger or feelings or relationships or love or money or those kind of things.

00:53:24 Lael

So for me I run courses and workshops on how we get to unpack.

00:53:30 Lael

What are our imprints?

00:53:31 Lael

It serves us what doesn't and then how that turns up in our relationships.

00:53:35 Lael

Which equally is how it.

00:53:36 Lael

Turns up at work as well.

00:53:38 Lael

So there's a lot of beautiful stuff out there.

00:53:41 Lael

I love the work of Doctor Goble, Marty who.

00:53:44 Lael

Who has a documentary called The Wisdom of Trauma that I highly recommend every adult watchers.

00:53:50 Janine

Yeah, saying that one blew my alarm.

00:53:51 Lael

I think you can access it for free sometimes.

00:53:54 Lael

Or yeah, it's amazing and and that really is.

00:53:58 Lael

What he talks about in the wisdom of trauma, as to why we have addiction and pain and illness and all that kind of stuff.

00:54:03 Lael

The work I do with parents, and particularly what we're doing that would line to me, is the antidote to that.

00:54:08 Lael

So if we don't want our children to have to keep repeating these patterns, generational patterns.

00:54:13 Lael

If we want our children to grow up and not have addictions and, and you know dysfunctional relationships, then it starts now by listening to their feelings by connection.

00:54:23 Lael

By how we educate them all those kind of things.

00:54:26 Lael

So for me, when I watch the wisdom of trauma.

00:54:28 Lael

I just sat there going.

00:54:29 Lael

Yes, this is what this is exactly why I do the work we do too so that we don't have to get to that.

00:54:34 Lael

Place so I.

00:54:35 Lael

Highly recommend that documentary.

00:54:36 Lael

It's a really.

00:54:37 Lael

Good one to watch.

00:54:37 Janine

Umm, and I think for the literary nerds as well. I think they discussed this in elders Huxley's the island.

00:54:45 Janine

I don't know if you've read that, but like it's a bit of a tough read, but the the concept of this sitting with the feelings and if you fall over and scrape any, tell the story to someone a few times over.

00:54:46 Lael

That no, no.

00:54:54 Janine

Until you stop.

00:54:55 Janine

Sad about it, it's really nice.

00:54:59 Janine

Thanks for that.

00:55:00 Janine

Now I want to just explore what?

00:55:04 Janine

What your wish for education is.

00:55:08 Lael

Let's be.

00:55:11 Janine

I like the big ones.

00:55:12 Lael

So, uhm.

00:55:16 Lael

Why is my wish?

00:55:17 Lael

I wish that we we focus on the child, not the data.

00:55:22 Lael

I wish that we create systems.

00:55:26 Lael

Oh my goodness, I don't know if you can hear that there's some very very loud cockatoos outside my window screaming.

00:55:31 Janine

Make sure it's coming.

00:55:31 Lael

I'm sorry.

00:55:33 Lael

It's just like wait, yeah, sorry.

00:55:36 Lael

Uhm so OK, we was like ah yes about the child, not the data I.

00:55:45 Lael

I would I would love.

00:55:48 Lael

Our our teachers to have more understanding and training and support to be who they can be so they can turn up in teaching the way they want.

00:55:59 Lael

So I think our system needs to change massively.

00:56:02 Lael

It needs a huge overhaul.

00:56:03 Lael

I think we need to support our teachers way more than what we do 'cause I just.

00:56:07 Lael

Do not think they get.

00:56:08 Lael

The recognition support the understanding, the holding that they need.

00:56:13 Lael

I wish for education that we.

00:56:19 Lael

That we get.

00:56:20 Lael

Children back to tuning into who their innate spirit and nature is and how do we foster that so they can be the best versions of themselves?

00:56:29 Lael

And so we give more opportunity for learning in ways that makes sense to them, whether that's moving their body, using their hands, reading, teaching other students.

00:56:39 Lael

What they're learning.

00:56:41 Lael

Whatever it is, you know learning by themselves, whatever it is that they need to take in information.

00:56:47 Lael

I think that we need to overhaul the curriculum so that we teach them stuff that is relevant for being a human, and that that has real world learning in it so that.

00:56:57 Lael

That when children learning something and they understand why they're learning it, not just because that's in the textbook, and that's what we should do.

00:57:03 Lael

So I feel like that would make a massive difference again to the children that understanding the why, so they're not just regurgitating information back to you and then completely forgetting it.

00:57:13 Lael

They're not learning, they're just basically telling you what what we're you know meant to.

00:57:18 Lael

What they think we need to hear?

00:57:20 Lael

Uh, there's many elements I I think we need to play way more.

00:57:24 Lael

I think we need to be connected in nature more.

00:57:26 Lael

I think children need way more choice and autonomy.

00:57:29 Lael

I think they need to move their bodies and they need to move their bodies and eat and they need to eat and go to the toilet where they need to eat meat, not when.

00:57:35 Lael

They need to I.

00:57:36 Lael

Think we need to give them more freedom to be who they need to be.

00:57:41 Lael

Because if we want to raise a generation of critical thinkers.

00:57:45 Lael

Then we need to treat them as such.

00:57:47 Lael

We need to give them the.

00:57:48 Lael

Opportunity and space.

00:57:49 Lael

To be there, so I know that's huge and that's a big difference.

00:57:53 Lael

But I think now is the time.

00:57:56 Lael

Now is the time for change.

00:57:58 Lael

I think we've just lived through a really interesting time in history where we've seen where a lot is off track.

00:58:05 Lael

And how do we come back to what is going to serve us as a planet?

00:58:08 Lael

And as humans, and I think the way we treat children the way we educate children is the most critical thing we need to do because they are the future.

00:58:19 Janine

Yeah, that's beautiful though and it's so great that you're you're already walking that path.

00:58:25 Janine

You know towards that dream that you have for education so.

00:58:30 Lael

Look, we are trying.

00:58:31 Lael

It is not perfect.

00:58:32 Lael

You know we're a year and a half in.

00:58:34 Lael

We learned so much we constantly like that didn't work.

00:58:38 Lael

That's good, you know that we are not perfect, we are.

00:58:41 Lael

We are so willing though to learn and lean in and do it differently, and I think that's what's exciting.

00:58:47 Janine

That is hot with that of.

00:58:47 Lael

That we've got.

00:58:48 Lael

This yeah, opportunity to go.

00:58:50 Lael

What could it look like and how can we keep evolving?

00:58:54 Lael

And coming back to this center point again and again and again, which is the whole child?

00:59:00 Lael

Where are they in this?

00:59:02 Lael

How do we help them feel safe?

00:59:04 Lael

How do we?

00:59:05 Lael

How do we help them connect to who they truly are?

00:59:08 Lael

How do we help them learn to express that you know?

00:59:10 Lael

How do we help to raise these brilliant humans that can hopefully clean up?

00:59:14 Lael

A lot of the mess that we've created on this planet.

00:59:18 Janine

Yeah, gosh, I'm sorry.

00:59:21 Janine

Speaking of which, my last question for you.

00:59:23 Janine

Wow and I ask everyone this.

00:59:26 Janine

Because this is the Teacher, Healer, podcast, what do you think is the potential for education to heal the planet?

00:59:35 Lael

I think it's it's vital. I think it's 100% there. I think you know, for me in the work I do so much of it is about the family unit and how we treat our children, how we respond to our children, what we model to our children is so important and so.

00:59:54 Lael

I think on one level the family unit is the biggest influence.

00:59:59 Lael

But then next to that is education and the amount of hours or child spends.

01:00:04 Lael

Perhaps in education is really really important.

01:00:08 Lael

So who are the adults?

01:00:10 Lael

That are influencing them.

01:00:11 Lael

What is it that we're teaching them that influences them?

01:00:14 Lael

You know, I absolutely believe that it has a huge part to play in creating healing, but I think it's US adults that need to do the work first.

01:00:23 Lael

You know we need to do the work on ourselves.

01:00:25 Lael

We need to question a lot of what's going on.

01:00:28 Lael

You know?

01:00:28 Lael

I think we need to create the change.

01:00:30 Lael

So that our children can then come through and do it differently and and look, you know, I've seen that with with my own children.

01:00:38 Lael

Uhm, just in in doing the work for myself or in in parenting, in a certain way, really inviting their feelings and emotions and and encouraging us to be the best with who they are.

01:00:50 Lael

I definitely see it.

01:00:51 Lael

My two adult children.

01:00:52 Lael

So far.

01:00:54 Lael

They're they're deep empathy and compassion for humankind is innate.

01:00:58 Lael

They don't have to work.

01:00:59 Lael

At it, it just is.

01:01:00 Lael

Is because that's what's been modeled to them, or that's what they've experienced, and I think that's what we need to do with adults.

01:01:08 Lael

We are the guides and the teachers and it it's about how to be an incredible human is what they're watching and learning.

01:01:16 Janine

I love that idea of the word guide and everything that that means.

01:01:20 Janine

I think there's a lot of reflecting we can maybe do around that term as adults, not just as some teachers.

01:01:25 Lael

Totally, yeah, there's there's, uh, there's nothing I'd love to just share with you, which is whenever I do.

01:01:26 Janine

You know how adding one?

01:01:30 Speaker 2

Yeah please.

01:01:32 Lael

Training with a team or anything, I always ask the question.

01:01:36 Lael

Who was your favorite teacher or who influenced you the most?

01:01:41 Lael

And UM, everybody, when they share their stories, talks about one human who saw them, who they felt seen by who connected to their spirit, who encouraged them.

01:01:53 Lael

When no.

01:01:53 Lael

One else did.

01:01:54 Lael

Who went out of their way to?

01:01:56 Lael

Check in with them.

01:01:57 Lael

They that every adult talks about that one teacher.

01:02:01 Lael

Who either inspired them or made them feel seen?

01:02:03 Lael

And I'm like, OK, that's what you're remembering your not going.

01:02:06 Lael

This one taught me how to do maths really well.

01:02:09 Lael

All this person you know made science experiments really fun.

01:02:12 Lael

Like you know, and maybe there is some of that there, but.

01:02:15 Lael

It was about the human connection.

01:02:17 Lael

That's what they're.

01:02:17 Lael

Remembered, and so I think for any teacher listening.

01:02:20 Lael

Don't underestimate how powerful your human spirit is in connecting with a child.

01:02:26 Lael

What impact that has like?

01:02:28 Lael

That's that's one of the greatest things you have here.

01:02:31 Lael

We may not be able to change how the system runs or the policies or those kind of things just yet.

01:02:38 Lael

But what you do have control over is.

01:02:40 Lael

Your deep connect.

01:02:40 Lael

Chicken with with others, and that that doesn't cost anything.

01:02:45 Lael

That is just time and that is openness and willingness to look someone in the eye to see their spirits, to encourage them to keep being magnificent.

01:02:56 Lael

You know, that is what we can all do.

01:02:59 Janine

Gorgeous and I think like if you're willing to dig into that topic, more listeners cantune into my episode with Julie Hasson who she writes some books on.

01:03:09 Janine

That exact thing how we remember our teachers and and I certainly have my own story.

01:03:14 Janine

So shout out to Miss Stanfield.

01:03:15 Janine

You're the one for me.

01:03:17 Janine

And you know it and.

01:03:19 Janine

And yeah, so I just I actually just wanted to check back in a little bit with your vision for the healing of the planet.

01:03:26 Janine

Do you have a bodacious bold vision of what that looks like?

01:03:30 Janine

Uh, healed planet, because we've done our job here.

01:03:37 Lael

It's big, so for me it would be for all humans to feel safe enough to feel to know that anger and sadness and vulnerability is just as valuable as joy and happiness and passion.

01:03:55 Lael

For me, healed Planet is 1 where we own our stories where we don't project our pain and hurts onto others.

01:04:01 Lael

But we ask the question, what is this about for me and what am I feeling and what do I need to lean into?

01:04:08 Lael

For me, healed planner is humans that remember who they are connecting to their spirit.

01:04:15 Lael

And don't look outside of themselves to to make themselves feel like they're OK.

01:04:22 Lael

You know, and I think that for me stems back so much into how we were raised, because many of us were taught to.

01:04:26 Lael

Be good boys.

01:04:27 Lael

And girls and the message we get within that is, if I'm good then I'm lovable and I'm OK.

01:04:33 Lael

And so we spend most of our lives looking around going.

01:04:35 Lael

Does this make me good?

01:04:36 Lael

Do you approve of me?

01:04:37 Lael

Have I got enough money now?

01:04:39 Lael

Am I successful instead of actually?

01:04:41 Lael

Is knowing that the truth is that we are all enough?

01:04:44 Lael

Purely because you.

01:04:45 Lael

Were born you are.

01:04:46 Lael

Enough, yet we all have to work really hard to remember that or to even know that that exists as a possibility.

01:04:55 Lael

So for me it is about a healed planning is about everyone coming home to themselves.

01:05:04 Janine

Gorgeous thank you.

01:05:07 Janine

Thanks for showing up today.

01:05:09 Lael

My pleasure, thank you for having me.