the next week . We'll be back with more on . Here's a question for you Is marriage overrated ? Why aren't people getting married anymore ? A new Pew Research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition .
Speaker 2Marriage rates are at their lowest right now . Is marriage really even worth it ?
Speaker 1More than half of marriages and having a marriage . They have married before , but it's why I didn't want to get married , so that's why it's declining . Why would you get married If you don't ?
Speaker 2if you want to have just one partner when you can have multiple marriage is stupid . Welcome to the married podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage and relationship podcast on the planet . We are your host , matthew , and Monica Powers . Aloha , baby , because we can finally spread the news . Yes , my beautiful wife signed me up to be on Willa Fortune without my knowledge and some way , somehow I managed to battle through auditions , get on the show and it aired this past week and we can finally say , after many years of want , we're going to Hawaii , we going to Hawaii . Yeah , yeah , ha ha ha ha . Hawaii is in the clear for us soon . Look , I got more of that . Look at this right here . Yes , hawaii , we're going to Hawaii . Finally . It's about time . I can't wait .
Speaker 1Now , when are we going ?
Speaker 2We don't know yet , but I gotta call us first . But yes , I was on . Willa Fortune won a trip to the Disney Resort in Hawaii . We get to go unbelievable .
Speaker 1Yes , never in a million years All expenses paid .
Speaker 2Yes , and I mean it's Disney . It's Disney , disney does things right . And it's Hawaii , something we've always wanted to go to and never thought we actually would , because we never had a honeymoon .
Speaker 1Well , that's what we wanted to go on our honeymoon .
Speaker 2Yes , but we never even had a wedding . So we had like a a lope slash mini wedding Wasn't a real wedding . I mean , there were two people in attendance . But here we are , 15 , going on 16 years later . We survived , we made it and we are finally going to get to go to Hawaii . What are your ?
Speaker 1thoughts . I mean , it took 15 years and two kids for us to get there , I mean to secretly sign you up for a game show . But hey , we are going .
Speaker 2We are going . It took Will a fortune to get us there , but we are finally going and I could not be more excited . We're gonna get to do all of the stuff you know hope I run into Kunu .
Speaker 1That's all I think of is some surf leaps For getting .
Speaker 2Sarah Marshall , get my Hawaiian name . I can't wait , it's gonna be so much fun . I don't know when we're gonna go yet . But Cashman and Lual Lual , think of that . I think it's the hula . No , it's the lual , it's the lual . But Cashman even asked . He was like , can we get a moral ? I was like , well , not necessarily , not quite , it doesn't quite work .
Speaker 1Just like that we have plans , that we have to do other things before .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean we have , you know , people to visit for Christmas and go out of town for Christmas .
Speaker 1What is it like in Hawaii on Christmas ? Oh , you go surfing on Christmas .
Speaker 2We have done that before in California , not in .
Speaker 1Cold water .
Speaker 2And it is cold water . You wear a wetsuit and you pee in your wetsuit so you don't freeze the death , because the water is like 55 degrees and and that's what we'll be doing next week .
Speaker 2Exactly . We'll be there next week and to do that , it's just so awesome . I don't quite know what to think of it . I don't know what my expectations are for it , but I can't wait . You know , I want to do the waterfalls , I want to see the volcano , I want to surf , I want to . I'm beginning to think do we actually have enough time to be able to do all of that ?
Speaker 1We might need to extend it .
Speaker 2Well then , that's on our dime and not on Willa fortune . I don't know how I necessarily feel about that , but excited to be back for this week's episode . Christmas is coming up quickly upon us . This will be oh , we will not have an episode the week of Christmas at all .
Speaker 2We're gonna be here . No , we won't be here , we'll be out of town . So we're gonna take Christmas off . We'll be back for the brand new year , so our next episode will actually come out 2024 . 2024 , this will be our last one for 2023 . And what a year it has been for this podcast . The growth it's seen , the impact it's made , the people that have reached out has been really humbling and amazing and crazy and unexpected all at the exact same time .
Speaker 1Do you have stats on that Cause ? I'm just sitting here shaking my head like yeah . I only know about the crazy amount of countries .
Speaker 2There's a lot of countries . I'm not gonna dig into all the nuts and bolts of the stats because non-stat people will be like off . No thanks , don't wanna listen to that , but it's been more than we've ever gotten , more than ever expected , oh yeah .
Speaker 1I remember getting the email now .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's been way more about . We won't talk the numbers , but it's just it's like doubled in , triple in growth over the last couple months and it's it's pretty , yes , just like the last couple of months . It's been really , really cool to see . So we want to thank all of those people who have put up with us for this long and have let this last as long . I don't know how many episodes we're at total , you know , maybe close to 50 or so .
Speaker 1I don't know . I just know that the last email I got was saying that there were more downloads last week than ever .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , it's been . Each week's been more and more and more and more . So just thank you to all of the people who , like , seriously , have put up with us and somehow are still listening , cause , realistically , after a couple of episodes , people like these bozos are no good , they're not going to listen to them and be done . So it's been awesome . So continue to do that . Share the show like it . Review it interact with us all of those fun things .
Speaker 1The more people that are continuing to listen , which I still don't know why . But I don't either , but they're here , it's like , the more people that listen , the more cameras you get around here .
Speaker 2Well , listen it's . We have a very dear friend , mr Adam West , who has said listen , if you want , if you're serious about this , then do it . You know , don't just kind of somewhat do it . If you're going to do it , then do it . So you know what let's , let's jump all in and see what the Lord wants to do with it .
Speaker 1He wants you to write a book .
Speaker 2Well , listen , this is where we're at right now . God , if that's what you want me to do , then you better lay it out there for me , because Let me get find a book .
Speaker 1I'm going to throw it at you . Yeah , please don't . Holy spirit's going to hit you .
Speaker 2Listen , he will work through other people , but I feel like that may be just a little bit of of of Monica induced right there , not necessarily a holy spirit ?
Speaker 1Not a little bit , it's 100% 100% .
Speaker 2So , yeah , I don't know who knows where this will go , but it's been a fun ride so far , and looking forward to 2024 and see where it goes from there because it has exceeded our expectations
. I don't know what to expect for Hawaii . That's coming up and that's why I wanted to talk about expectations in the marriage and we kind of touched on this a few times before . But I think it's important to talk about and to fully understand expectations , because expectations should be set , cause how can you reach where you need to go if you don't know what your expectations are ? I mean , if you get into a marriage and you don't know what your spouse is expecting of you , the way the marriage is going to operate and how you're going to be , you may not be able to to hit those marks , or you may think that they want something one way , but it's actually another way , and so unless you talk about it and do it , then you know you're not going to make it .
Speaker 1This is . I'm probably going to get backlash from this .
Speaker 2Oh boy .
Speaker 1Now , but this was also before . This was our BC days , you know , before Christ .
Speaker 2Yep .
Speaker 1My theory was , having a relationship is no different than buying a car . So now you can just order cars online , Not like you can't order brides or you know people online .
Speaker 2You can also . You know , there's this , the thing called Tinder , and all those and everything . It's just right there it's just bam .
Speaker 1Well , yeah , but the car is delivered to you without even seeing it . You don't know , you know .
Speaker 2Let me see pictures of it . You're like , oh , that looks good . I think I look good in that car .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm saying you can do that with you know , the mail order bride type of thing .
Speaker 2Yep , that is a real thing .
Speaker 1But I've always been , you know . Maybe you should test it out before you buy it .
Speaker 2Oh , totally .
Speaker 1Maybe that's the same in a relationship , because you don't really know somebody until you live with them , not saying , hey , go out and live with all the people before you marry them . I mean that's frowned upon .
Speaker 2It is frowned upon ?
Speaker 1Yes , but you don't really know somebody until you are living with them .
Speaker 2That is true , but I again , I think that's a lot where the real conversations and being an authentic truth and authentic true you has to come into play , because you know the biggest reason why you don't want to live with someone before you get married is because you know , according to the Bible , you don't need to , let's say , give away all the petals of your flower , as you once said , to a room full of middle school and high school students , but you don't want to give away all the petals of your flower because it'll stink .
Speaker 2Because it'll stink . But you don't necessarily want to do that . And the thing is we're saying that out loud . You did it was fantastic , but you don't want to do that because if you live together , you know you are , you're going to have sex , you just are . We're not good enough to be able to hold ourselves like oh no , it'll be fine , we can cuddle on the couch .
Speaker 1Yeah , right .
Speaker 2Not going to happen . But so , yeah , I mean you know , understanding the expectations and being authentically you , that's . That's a way to not test drive every single car that you see that may catch your eye before you actually purchase it , Because you know how much the salespeople hate that , no good . But we need each other and that's kind of the biggest thing is you know we need each other because culture has told us today that you don't need somebody .
Speaker 1You can have multiple , multiple somebodies .
Speaker 2You can just for your own pleasure , but that you don't actually need somebody , that you're independent enough and you're strong enough .
Speaker 1You're a strong , independent woman , and who needs a man ?
Speaker 2Exactly , and even being kind of have the same mentality . I don't need a woman , I can have this and I can do this and I can do that . And here's the truth , and I think about with us if I did not have you , yeah I'd be okay , I would make it , but I wouldn't thrive , true , I wouldn't be either .
Speaker 2I wouldn't be where I'm supposed to be , I wouldn't live out my purpose , I wouldn't be the person that I've become today without you . And it's goes back to the beginning , when God created man and woman and Genesis . You know God was creating the , you know the earth and all of this crazy , amazing things .
Speaker 1And every single day it's like that was awesome Creating more he created , and it was like you know what that's good , until it wasn't .
Speaker 2That's awesome , that's fantastic . Look at , look what I did today . And then he creates man . And that's the first time he said , oh whoops , that's not good . And we've seen like America's funniest home videos and we've seen videos on social media of man doing dumb things and I think you know that's probably about about what it led to because man , we're stupid sometimes and we need . That's why he created Eve . He's like it is not good for man to be alone , because when we're alone we do something stupid , we get bored in our minds just off into the wilderness and we lose our minds and we act stupid .
Speaker 1Well , I mean same thing with girls .
Speaker 2Oh well , that's what I'm getting at . We need each other . Women you need a man , yes , men you need women . You simply do Because , yes , you can survive and you can get by without them .
Speaker 1But and I've said it before- you can't live with them , but you can't live without them .
Speaker 2You're right , and I've said it before there are things in this world and in our lives men are superior at to women , and there are things that women are superior at to men . It's just the way that it is . It's why we need each other .
Speaker 1You don't see a man having a baby .
Speaker 2You can't and I don't care what .
Speaker 12023 and all these people say what you identify as is not what you are no listen I there is no baby coming out of your pee , and I'm not talking about urination .
Speaker 2Well , I you know .
Speaker 1If that's okay , it's going to only come out of a V or it's going to come out from a person who has a V . They go and cut them out of their stomach . Yes , because women no person that has a pee is going to have a baby .
Speaker 2No , you can't , because your body was not made to . I don't care how much you want to . I don't care if you try to will to exist , it does not matter .
Speaker 1Those expectations will never be met .
Speaker 2It's not going to happen .
Speaker 1It's not .
Speaker 2Period .
Speaker 2Ever , it's like me walking into our bank and say , hey , I identify as a billionaire , so you need to treat me as a billionaire and give me billionaire type of money to do what I want , because I feel like I should be there . I'm sorry , that's not the way the world works , it's just not so . Having those expectations , I mean , come on , get out of here . You got to be brought down to earth just a little bit . So when it comes to the marriage and it comes to the relationship and the husband and wife , the expectations men have for their spouse and the expectations that women have for men , and we've touched on these kind of , you know , before , as far as men go , I mean , we want , we want to be respected , you know , we want to have a partner , we want to have companionship , we want to have a friend and sex is one of them . We do .
Speaker 2It is an actual need for men and that is an expectation in the marriage . And you know , go back and listen to the sex episodes . There's plenty of them . We've talked about it plenty of times . That needs to be laid out because we've learned that . You know , for some people it may be once every two weeks , it may be once a week . For some people it may be . For some people it may be three , four , five times a week , just kind of depends . It may be every single day , I don't know . But you need to have those expectations . But , men , it is a need , we need to have sex and , ladies , if you're not providing that to your man , you need to .
Speaker 1Somebody else is going to do it .
Speaker 2And someone else will , and because , again , men are stupid , they will seek that out because it
is a need . Now , men , that does not mean your woman should just jump on you because it's a need that you have . I mean , you can't just walk in from work , pop yourself down on the couch , stick your hand in your belt , buckle like Al Bundy , drink a beer and expect to be desirable , like she's going to jump your bones because , well , that's my need . Come on , man .
Speaker 1Think of it this way . I don't know why this just came to my brain with all the episodes of sex that we've talked about . No , you cannot jump into it .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 1You have to think of your woman as a oven . You can't just put something in that oven and expect it to be hot and heated up .
Speaker 2Preheat that sucker . There's a preheat setting .
Speaker 1That has to be done .
Speaker 2So , man , you got to put in some effort .
Speaker 1Preheat that woman .
Speaker 2Preheat that oven before you .
Speaker 1And when that timer goes off .
Speaker 2yes , You'll know you're like ready and set and ready to go .
Speaker 1She is , and yeah , she's ready to go now , no matter where you are or not .
Speaker 2Well , men get there in a matter of a second . I mean , it takes nothing for men to get there . But those are expectations that men have and when it comes to the respect part is let your man fail , like let him fail at doing something , and be there to support him through it , rather than telling him how wrong he is and how he can't do anything right and how he chews bad and how he can't do this and he can't do that . He's got a mama .
Speaker 1He does , he don't need another one .
Speaker 2He's looking for a wife .
Speaker 1Have I ever done something ? I've ever been your mama .
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 1I never wanted to be your mama .
Speaker 2I never wanted you to either . I can't feel those shoes . That's weird . We don't want that , but that's I mean . Those are some things that men expect from their wives . Now , on the flip side , women expect things from you too , man . Yes , you have to actually do something .
Speaker 1Do something . If you want some , do something .
Speaker 2You've got to actually do something . Women are looking for affection . That's one big thing they're looking for is affection , and they're looking for affection not to lead to sex .
Speaker 1Yes , not everything has to be about sex .
Speaker 2And actually it doesn't need to be . You need to cuddle with your wife and hold her hand and give her a hug and give her a kiss and just let her cuddle with you without expecting sex out of it . It's not about that Now . Could it lead to it ? Sure , and that's a reward Awesome . But come on , it's not what you're . It's not . She wants to have affection . She also wants to have security and know that you're there to protect her and help provide for her and be a huge part of her .
Speaker 1Safe haven .
Speaker 2A safe place for her . She can go and she can spill her heart to you and spill her guts to you and talk about the things that are going on . She badly needs that . And ding , ding , ding , the biggest thing that she needs , as everyone needs , and we don't do it enough . You've got to talk to her .
Speaker 1Communication .
Speaker 2You have to talk to her .
Speaker 1Why are people okay ? So if it makes sense now that public , like public speaking , is everyone's biggest fear , it's like the number one they would rather die than do public speaking .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1What happens when you're so afraid to talk , maybe not even in public , if you're afraid to talk to your friend or your parents or your spouse ? What happens when there's no communication ?
Speaker 2Well , bad things happen when there's no communication .
Speaker 1Obviously it's gonna kill every relationship .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's gonna destroy it . My thought is , the reason why we get to that and why we are scared to actually just talk to your spouse , is we have this stupid fear of what may happen and being judged . And how are they gonna react to what I'm about to tell them ? How are they gonna feel ? And 99 times out of 100 , it's never even close to near as bad as what we built up in our mind , but we have this fear that it's gonna happen and it ruins it . I mean you have to . You know those are definitely . I would say every woman expects that out of their husband .
Speaker 1Absolutely .
Speaker 2They expect affection , security and good communication .
Speaker 1And it goes , but- . It's like seeing a new poll , but- .
Speaker 2And it goes both ways . Like ladies don't say you're fine when you're not .
Speaker 1Everybody knows that's the oh God .
Speaker 2But it happens so much Because a man's thinking is like if I ask you hey , baby , what's wrong , you say fine , our again dumb brains . It's gonna go like oh okay she's fine .
Speaker 1She said she was fine .
Speaker 2And then she's mad because you didn't . You said you were fine , that's what we hear , so you have to . You know it goes both ways . So let me ask you this question .
Speaker 1Oh boy .
Speaker 2We have expectations of our spouse . I have expectations of you , you have expectations of me . Hopefully I'm doing a fair job , at least of meeting those expectations . But I know if I'm not , you'll gladly tell me about it , and not in a nagging like , hey , you suck , you need you know- .
Speaker 1I'm not gonna write them all down and give them to you in a bit In a very proactive way .
Speaker 2So , what expectations do you have for yourself and your marriage , like ? What expectations do I have , like , what are my expectations for me in this partnership and in this marriage and in this relationship ? Cause I speaking on my behalf . My expectations for me is to one , make sure I'm hitting these expectations that you have daily , to make sure that I'm there , that I'm present , that I'm not grabbing my phone while you're trying to talk to me . Just , you know , doing whatever texting , emails , scrolling , none of that but being present , Cause I think that's one big thing and that's an expectation , a high expectation I have for myself To be able to disconnect from work or from the other stuff and actually focus and be in the attentional about the time that I'm spending with you . That's another expectation that I have for myself . So I just wanna ask what are expectations that you may have for yourself within marriage , or what should people be asking themselves ? You know , what should my expectations be ?
Speaker 1What am I ? Give me another way to phrase that Cause I don't think some people understand expectations
.
Speaker 2Like what , what , how ?
Speaker 1I see , okay , here's a list . Let's check all the boxes .
Speaker 2In other words , being able to clearly define my role and my responsibility in this partnership . And how do I do that ? To show up , show up .
Speaker 1Just show up , that's both sides .
Speaker 2I guess more than half the battle is just be there , just show up .
Speaker 1Nobody thinks that deep , or they wanna think deeper , but it's not that deep . I mean , just show up , be there , Not here . Here when you see eye to eye I know some people have a really big fear of looking people in the eye- but you shouldn't with your spouse . Not with your spouse , cause you supposed to be doing other things with your spouse , and why would that stop you making eye contact ?
Speaker 2I really like that . Just show up , just be there . It's amazing what consistency and just continuing to be , Even whenever you're tired or you've had a rough day or you've had a rough time , rough few weeks man , just continuing to show up day after day after day , can go go such a long way .
Speaker 1So because if you're gonna continue to show up and you're gonna be there , the expectation is you're still gonna be there . I know things happen . We're never at 100% and like when I had all the surgeries- Right . Some days I was not even present because I was out of my mind on medications or anesthesia , you know .
Speaker 2This is true .
Speaker 1But guess what ? You still showed up , even when I didn't even know you were showing up .
Speaker 2I think that's I think that may be one of the most important ones is just continue to be there . Yeah , because when you're gonna continue to be there , and that way it is known that you're going to show up and that you're there . It's gonna be perfectly fine .
Speaker 1And if you're still there and you're not necessarily doing what One expects the other to do , that's the next thing is the communication You're able to say hey well , can you help me ? Like , our kids are always there , they will not go away , no matter what . The nice way for me to say is hey , can you make yourself useful ? Yes , make yourself useful . I'm really good at delegating .
Speaker 1Absolutely , you most certainly are can you help me with this ? But , in a very nice way of saying it , you're doing a great job . Can you also help me do this ?
Speaker 2and boy can that be encouraging for anyone to hear you know that and be like , oh well , they want me to be a part of this , they want me to be here . That can go such a long way . So you know , you're going through that , you . You're trying to explain your expectations and what you're looking for out of your marriage . What are some things that that we need to do when expectations aren't met ? Because I think there are a lot of times and of course , it's easy to say , oh well , we need to talk about you know , we need to , we need to go therapy , we need to have counseling . We just we need to talk about it . We did , I think , even in those situations when you do talk about it and you do , you know , go through all of that Expectations still are not being met . No , so what ? What are things that that can be done to ? You know , especially trying to push through when you're not getting what you're . Maybe you've gotten before out of the marriage .
Speaker 1I think you need to take a look at yourself . Okay if Expectations are not being met , you need to sit down and do an evaluation on yourself . It's just like Workplaces do evaluations on their employees , right ? If they're not meeting those expectations , they're not going to keep them around .
Speaker 2You're exactly right .
Speaker 1So if something in your relationship , then you're just it's , you're not getting it . You need to take a step back . What are you really doing ? Are you really showing up ? Are you really taking the words that they say and Just holding them in , and then you just build up this animosity towards the other person ? But having that animosity is it holding you back ? Because if that's holding you back , you're obviously not meeting expectations .
Speaker 2That's really good . It's really good because it's really true , because and not saying you're the full reason as to why things are not happening the way you want them to or the way you need them to , but most times you're probably playing part in that .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , it could be just the way you say something . I've had to learn the hard way of me just telling somebody something why they might crawl in a hole and cry for days because of how I said it to them . I have no idea that came off the way it did . Right , because I didn't . So we talk about self-evaluation . But what if you do ? You know ? If your spouse still isn't listening to you .
Speaker 2They're still just not seeing your side . They still feel like and you still feel like you're stuck in it and you're just caring All the weight , and it's just like , and you still feel like you're stuck in it and you're just caring all the weight , and it's just , it just doesn't seem to be working .
Speaker 1What do you do ?
Speaker 2Yeah pray . Bam . That's exactly what my notes say .
Speaker 1Are you ?
Speaker 2serious Pray , pray , pray hard , like fervently play constantly and period you're exactly right , because people go through pain and trauma and depression and and in different seasons , and more or less of hey , what am I not getting out of this ? Yeah , it sucks right now , mm-hmm , but man , pray , pray , pray , pray . How hard for your spouse .
Speaker 1But not when it gets that bad . You should pray for him all the time .
Speaker 2Well , you , absolutely you should , but eat when it gets , when it gets harder . You got to pray even more harder . You have to pray with them and and ask God , you know what ? What do you need from me here , like how can I interject , how can I help in this , how can I support them through this , to make them the spouse that I know , you that create , you , created them to be ?
Speaker 1those words Right there , or what need to be said , not . Can you change him to do this ? Can you change her ? Can you make her Better at this ? She's no good at this . You're doing nothing but negative talk .
Speaker 2Yes , how can I ?
Speaker 1pray here . How can I lift them up ?
Speaker 2Yes , god , you use me .
Speaker 1Yes .
Speaker 2God use me .
Speaker 1I'll go . I don't like to do . What are the Bible plans ? You know the Bible app , so I can't stand letting people know my business , unless it's just out there .
Speaker 2I'm on the same page .
Speaker 1Right , but when I do Bible plans , the first thing it asks you when you start is this you visible to by myself ?
Speaker 2By myself . You know why Is it private or private ?
Speaker 1Cause people make too many assumptions , because the Bible plan that I'm currently on is how to pray for your spouse or my actually it's husband . So if somebody would just see what's going on there , they talk , they do marriage counseling , they have the pop of what .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's exactly what happens . But , at the end of the day , it's , it's , that's my time with the Lord . Yeah that's , that's between , and we don't share those .
Speaker 1I don't even know what you're reading Now . I know you do the Bible year by year , and I'll do different ones . I've got no idea .
Speaker 2Now , if you're , if you're doing one together with other people which can be helpful sometimes like hey , we're gonna just tend to one helps keep us accountable to continue to do it .
Speaker 1But oh wait , I gotta catch up on like three days .
Speaker 2Yeah , boom , boom , boom , boom , boom , boom , boom , boom , and that's kind of how it goes . But yeah , absolutely why ? Because that's the time between you and the Lord . But that's the question that asks is God , where do , how do I do this , God ? Where do I help my spouse in this situation ? And then I'll also ask is where is that ? Where's your spouse's relationship with Jesus ? Where does that currently stand ? Because we talk about the triangle and the husband and the wife at the bottom . The closer they get to God , the closer , the better they are in their faith , the closer they get together , and it works every single time .
Speaker 1We are prime example of that .
Speaker 2Yes , the closer we've gotten , the more we've grown in our faith , man , the closer we are . I mean , I feel like we're all like right there right now , but I know there's more levels to it .
Speaker 1Well , we keep saying all we've always said man , if people could just be more like us , everybody would just be so happy , but the world would be kind of boring .
Speaker 2It would be a little boring . I mean gotta love the drama , right .
Speaker 1Well , there are way too many of those out there but there's even more that don't know Jesus .
Speaker 2Yes , and that is at the end of the day , is your relationship evenly yoked . Yes , that's . Couldn't have said it better myself .
Speaker 1Is it ? If it's not , that .
Speaker 2If it's not , that's where you start .
Speaker 1That's where you start praying .
Speaker 2One . Where's your individual relationship with Jesus ? Where's your spouses ? And , hey God , what can I do ? How can I help my spouse here ? How can I support them ? How can I help my spouse get closer to you ?
Speaker 1How can they see you through me ?
Speaker 2Because for a lot of people it'll be difficult and it'll be a tough time and they'll be going through it for three , six months and it'll just be one of those difficult times where in the valley and things are hard , and you may kind of think and say , well , I'm not equipped enough to do this , I can't do this . My family's full of divorce . It's a generational curse . I'll never get out of it . And I mean we have the opportunity , because everyone has generational curses in their family . This is the opportunity to be the curse breaker .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2It's a decision to make .
Speaker 1If we are reading the same Bible . All things are possible through Christ . All things that are within his will , and he's not wanting your marriage to end in divorce .
Speaker 2No , he's wanting it to thrive for the kingdom , to thrive for others , to thrive for him . And it goes back to Isaiah , chapter six . It God says well , whom shall I send ? The king's dead ? Whom shall I send ?
Speaker 1Send me , I am here . I am Every time it's me .
Speaker 2Here I am Because so much we expect we go through something difficult . We expect God to show up and perform that huge miracle Every single time . Like God , I need a miracle right here , and there are times where he will perform the miracle . He'll show up and he'll part the Red Sea . He'll show up and he'll take that mountain that's right in front of you , that's insurmountable , and he'll move it to the side where you can get through . But that's not what usually happens . Most of the time , God will show up and even though you're out of shape and you're tired and you've never been through something like this before and you see no end in sight , he's saying no , let's get the hiking shoes on . We're about to go up this mountain . We're gonna go together . We're gonna go up this mountain . He's saying I'm not gonna part the sea , but I'm gonna give you these tools to be able to build a boat . The boat's probably not gonna survive , but you will .
Speaker 1Yep .
That's having a muster seed of faith .
Speaker 2Having that type of faith and that type of mentality towards your marriage . There's nothing that can't be overcome . Absolutely not , and that's , I think , the biggest problem in marriages today is the missing piece of Jesus .
Speaker 1Everyone is over the top selfish . Yeah , I can't understand . If yeah , what's the point of being married when all you want to do is fulfill things for you ?
Speaker 2Yes , self-fulfilling pieces of the marriage which ain't gonna work . It's not .
Speaker 1There's no us in you .
Speaker 2No , there's not . And at the end of the day , but there's us in Jesus .
Speaker 2We ended there . That's it , and that's it at the end of the day , that it's the faith in Jesus , knowing that he can pull you through your marriage . He can pull you through that circumstance , he can pull you out of the fire and out of the storm , because he did it before and now you know , hey , he did it once and , yeah , this looks hard . We haven't gone through this yet , but he got me through the last one , so I know that he'll get me through this one also .
Speaker 1What's the song ? I've seen you move , you move the mountains , and I believe I'll see you do it again . Do it again , and he will again and again Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over .
Speaker 2And if you'll take just a second to sit down and reflect back on all those times that he did bring you through , that you know , all those expectations that we have in our marriage , telling you number one , jesus , number one . If you set that to be your expectation and that your main goal , your marriage will be taken to heights you never , ever , could imagine Come on , pastor , let's get out of here .
Speaker 2God , I really love you , we're so thankful for what you're doing , we're thankful for the platform for this podcast and we just we give it to you . It is yours , it belongs to you and you just use it However however you want . For whoever needs it , god , just we pray that you're able to get it to their ears , to their eyes , just to be able to see what it is you can do , not just for marriages , not just for relationship , but for us as individuals too . We love you and we thank you in Jesus' name amen .
Speaker 1Play ball .