Diana Weynand: The Female Defensive End's Playbook for Life

What do you do when people keep telling you who you are supposed to be?  If you're Diana Weynand, you rewrite the playbook.

Long before she became an author, speaker, and advocate for women's empowerment, Diana was carving out a career in music, and television production. Then she did something few people would ever imagine-she strapped on football pads and stepped onto the field as a professional football player for the Los Angeles Lazers in the Women's Professional Football League.  

In this inspiring conversation, Diana shares the twists, turns, setbacks, and bold decisions that shaped her journey. We talk about what it takes to leap into the unknown, how to keep moving when fear shows up, and why some of life's biggest opportunities arrive disguised as challenges.

She also offers her perspective on creativity in the age of AI, the importance of protecting your unique voice, and how to stay relevant while remaining authentically yourself. At the heart of our conversation is the philosophy behind her book, Lipstick Football, and the eight life principles that helped guide her path: Leap, Immerse, Play, Shine, Track, Initiate, Condition, and Kick. Whether you're navigating a career transition, chasing a dream, rebuilding confidence, a parent with a young athlete in sports or simply looking for encouragement to take the next step, Diana's wisdom delivers both inspiration and practical takeaways.

This episode is a reminder that courage isn't the absence of fear-it's the decision to move forward anyway and sometimes the biggest wins in life happen far beyond the scoreboard. 

Don't forget to watch us on Youtube and subscribe to the Mama Bear Podcast, share this conversation with a friend who needs a push, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show. 

Transcript

Welcome To The Den

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey there, Mamas. Welcome to the Mama Bear Podcast. I'm your host, Nina Shea, affectionately known as Mama Bear. And here in the Den, we celebrate strong women, courageous journeys, meaningful conversations, and the moments that shape our lives. Whether we're talking about sports, family, faith, beauty, business, or purpose, this is a space where wisdom is shared, hearts are encouraged, and every story matters. So come on in, get comfortable, and let's talk. Joining me today in the den is an extraordinary woman whose story makes you stop and think, now how in the world did she get there? From breaking ground in the world of television production and technology to suiting up for the Los Angeles Lasers in the Women's Professional Football League to authoring what has become one of my new favorite books, lipstick football. She spent a lifetime proving that there is more than one path to success. And sometimes the road less traveled is exactly where you're meant to be. She's consistently taken the leap into spaces where she wasn't expected, wasn't guaranteed success, and certainly wasn't handed a roadmap. She continues to move the chains for women in uncharted territories, making an impact through her speaking, mentoring, and her latest book, Lipstick Football: a guide to successfully calling for life, resilience, and pursuing your dreams with purpose and confidence. Mamas, I'm so excited for this conversation. Please join me in welcoming Diana Weinan to the Mama Bear podcast. Hi, Diana. I am so glad you are here. How are you this morning?

SPEAKER_01 2:00

I'm so good. Thank you so much, Nina, for having me. It's really an honor and a pleasure to be part of your con ongoing conversations.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

So with the Mama Bears.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

So thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Oh, you are so welcome. And just let me start by saying how much I enjoyed lipstick football. It is so witty, so inspirational, educational, and it's just full of practical life lessons. And I can't wait to jump into the chapters, the principles, the cracked marble, and all of the wisdom that's packed into this book. But before we get into how you got here, I think it's important that we get to know the woman behind the message. So if you could tell us a little bit about little Diana.

Little Diana And Early Detours

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Where did she come from? And how did she get to this fabulous place with all the amazing things that you're doing?

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Oh, thank you so much. You know, we all have journeys that have these very sort of eccentric kinds of detours sometimes. I grew up uh loving music, um uh joined the band. I was a big sportster, I was always on baseball, basketball, tennis teams in high school. And um then decided to go into music and then decided uh not sure that I want to be here at this time, and so I switched and went into film and television and into media. I got a second master's in that, and um, and that's basically what I built my career on. Uh, and I had a film and television training business as well as producing, directing, and editing for different shows. I was Barbara Walters, supervising editor, and uh just had had great fun doing some different things. Um very reflective of some of my principles, I have to say. It's like finding out what felt good, finding out where I felt like I could shine in that moment.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Uh-huh. So that's such a rich background. And you know, you you you've done so many things and and shattered so many ceilings. And one of the things that I love about your book is that it really isn't just about football and your journey in football. As you said, you had uh quite a career in film and television, and I wonder um what was that like working on the Tonight Show and with Barbara Walters and um all of the technology and training back background that you have. What initially drew you to that industry?

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Well, um it's interesting. I fell in love with songwriting when I was studying music, and I I took my reel of songs to Nashville, and I wanted to step into the uh songwriting field, and I realized it was just um a little uh tough in terms of knowing of having control over what I might be able to achieve. The decisions were always not unlike the film and television industry when you pitch projects. It's it's not always your choice whether or not you get to take the ball and run. That choice is in other people's hands. And that sort of didn't sit well with me. It's like, no, I I want to be in charge. Uh I want to uh be more in charge, at least, of my own career. And um, and so that's part of why I switched to media because I was already I was a photographer, uh, I enjoyed audio recording and audio mixing and editing. So uh there were in writing, there were all these things I love to do. So when I decided to step aside from music and then go into media, it's like, well, wow, there are all these things I love to do. And uh I I remembered uh a quote, uh, happy George Bernard Shaw said, uh, happy is the man whose uh whose habits uh are his work, you know. So basically, if you love what you're doing as though they're um um not habits, but hobbies rather, sorry, that your hobbies or your work. So that's where I felt myself. It was just in this wonderful flow of doing lots of things, little things that I love doing, and I happened to be good at those. Um, yeah, and and that led me into a uh a full career of um in the film and television industry. And then I then after a uh a good long while I decided to give back and uh and started fighting for climate change and uh joined Al Gore's organization, Climate Reality Project, and became chair of the um here in in Los Angeles, one of the local chapters, and built that up and got some recognition for the work I did there. So um it was another little leg of my life journey.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Wonderful. So that's another that's something additional uh that I didn't it didn't have in my notes, the the political side, but I can only imagine because you've built your life, um, your life goal has been to teach people, and you just have a knack for taking something that seems to be intimidating and a bit complex and making it uh easy uh or at least um relatable

Building A Career In TV

SPEAKER_00 7:30

for people to understand, and and that's part of the book Lipstick Football. But um what was it like, especially being a woman, um charting those paths in in television in the way that you did? What were some of the greatest um triumphs, and then what were some of the challenges that you faced in that world?

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Well, uh that that's a really good question, and um you know, over over time, the disparity of men and women in the same field, uh same positions, we luckily have seen that uh shift a little bit. Um at the time I came in with a set of skills. I came into ABC, I was working at a local PBS station in South Carolina, and um I was directing and producing a national series, it was called Cinematic Eye, and um and I also edited my own shows because it was a non-union station and I couldn't find somebody at midnight to edit, you know, when I needed the editor when I was ready. So I learned to edit. I basically taught myself how to edit on a computer editing system. So when an opportunity came to break out of a small local station into one of the major networks, I went to ABC in New York as an editor. And I thought, well, they need editors, so I'll go as an editor, and meanwhile, I will get better at the technical skills surrounding television production, which will make me a better producer and director. So in my mind, it was a good investment, you know. And because I did have that set of skills, I, you know, I was put in uh to a lot of situations uh in terms of the uh editor uh for shows, Olympic shows, and um as as well as I mentioned, Barbara Walters and 2020 and some of the soap operas, a lot of different shows. Um and and so the um, you know, being a woman in that situation, at first they did a double take. I remember one time I was part of a three-person team that went into an editing session that started at 9 a.m. Well, I was the junior member, so I was back there handling the tapes or doing whatever the editors needed. So one editor shift ended about six. The second editor sits down and he goes from six to like 2 a.m. And then he's pooped and he steps aside. And I remember the producer was Robert Riger, and he said, Oh shoot, we were just getting to the good part. And so I said, I can edit. He was like, What? You can edit? Yeah, absolutely. So I sat down and he and I finished the program. Peggy Fleming. Peggy Fleming doing some wonderful teen. This was after she had won her goal, uh, gold medal. And uh he was delighted, and we went to the wee hours of the morning, and you know, and uh and that was a big surprise, and that started to open people's eyes a little bit, you know, like, wait a minute, what's going on here? And uh, even with Barbara Walters, uh, so often people would come in and get tired after one shift or whatever, and I went at least 24 hours. I was editing a Fred Astaire interview, I remember, and you know, the next morning it was I was still smiling. And you know, and I think that's you know, back to my prints, one of my principles is shine. And I think that's always just like such a good measure.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Smiling after you've put it all, laid it out all on the field. Are you still smiling? And if you are, then you're in such a great position because you have found where you shine. And so uh so that was really nice. Uh, and I did have times when asking for advice, should I do this or that? Um, some of the guys at the network were like, oh, well, you're a good teacher. So yeah, don't pursue producing because you're a teacher and women are good teachers. So I did run into that uh at times, that sense of you know, um stereotyping, wanting to keep me uh not small, because I don't think teaching is small at all, but wanting to keep me pigeonholed because you know I was a woman, therefore you'll be good at this and that. And so I ran into that and I again never really liked it when somebody sort of said you can't do that. That took me back to that that Nashville scene of like uh, we'll decide if we like your songs, we'll decide if your songs are good enough. And it's like, you know what, my songs are good enough, whether you choose to use them, that's another thing altogether, right? So we have to be careful who we listen to, I think, in life.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Absolutely. It's it's such uh interesting stories that you have, but you speak to these uh principles and that idea um or ideology in your book, how sometimes you might go in for one thing and you really weren't there for that. But if you take time and you better yourself and you open yourself up to new possibilities and opportunities, you never know what that would turn into. And so you do speak about pivoting, which I love how even then in the world of television, you instead of just you know sitting there and just waiting for someone else to come back to it, you said, I can do it, I can edit. And then you and then you actually, you know, proved that you were capable of doing that. So I do love that. But I have to ask you, in this world, excuse me, of technology and with AI and all that is going on right now, I just wonder um what is something about where the industry is heading that excites you? And then what are some of the things that actually concern you when it comes to the world of technology?

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Just technology in general?

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yes. I mean, or or even say, like with television production, um, in the way that you uh worked, because it would seem as though with AI and all of the new technology, uh people are not necessarily sometimes those talents aren't valued in the same way, or the opportunities are maybe fewer and far in between because there's the the the machine, there's the technology that that can do it for you, there's the the program that can do it for you. What do you think about those types of concerns? Or, you know, do you see it as something that's amazing that we've always needed?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Well, I've always felt technology was amazing, and that's because I was, you know, in front of a uh a video tape machine and hearing the clickety clacks back in the days when we actually used tape and actually used machines. Today we don't, today we use digital files. Right. And uh so just that actually going through

Earning Respect As A Woman

SPEAKER_01 14:50

that process to go from um, you know, we used to have linear editing where just like film, you you know, you had to cut something open in film if you wanted to insert a shot or a scene. And now it's just all done digitally, you don't even think about it. Um, you know, a young editor today probably is most of them are probably not even aware of where we've come in that process. So I'm a big, I I I really appreciate uh the technology quite a bit. Um I happen to uh uh appreciate AI and what it can offer, and I am very careful with AI that I don't come to it with an attitude of what should I think about something? I come to it with a sense of here is what I think, here's what I know, and is there a different perspective on this? You know, and so it I think it's good for that. It's good for opening up how we see things. We can't always see beyond a scope of what we create. And so I like to, I like that challenge of making something that I've come up, uh come up with more applicable, uh broader, uh deeper. Um and uh, you know, sometimes um sometimes you you know, like if you were uh collaborating with somebody, you know, somebody gives you a different take on something. And uh so I really I enjoy I enjoy that aspect of it. Uh that is the way that that I occasionally use it, but I again I have to be careful that I don't go to it too soon. I don't want it to usurp my own creative spark. Um and so I really hold tight to that, I really protect that and um and you know foster that. That because that's what makes me unique and makes each each person unique. So that's what I would suggest if somebody's going into that, is like, yeah, sure, check it out. And just you know, make sure that you can give yourself the permission to choose not to accept what they come back with. You know, it's not the gospel truth, it's just it's just a collection of possibilities that they happen to get to very quickly. And and that can sometimes be an advantage, um, depending on what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Right. And I love how you embrace that um because uh it it really is where we are today. And with someone with your particular your skills and your creative um abilities to be able to incorporate that as opposed to you know just kind of back off and say, no, I'm I you know I can't deal with it. I'm not uh into that. It um it only helps you to be better. And you spoke about uh challenges and accepting challenges, and that just kind of brings me to this next place that I just find so very amazing. It's the next chapter, and then I don't know exactly in there where everything fell, but I want to talk about uh that chapter in your life in your work that made me smile more recently, and that is your amazing, very creative book, Lipstick Football. I I I think uh this book really resonated with me in so many different ways. First of all, I know that it's the the framework that really stood out to me. And it's it's more uh less about football, but definitely a lot of football in there, but it's more about courage, resilience, uh, reinvention, and just following your passions to take you as far as you can go in life. And I just love that concept, lipstick football, and those eight principles that um I I know can help anybody face challenges and kind of realize their dreams. So tell me thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

I'm so glad you saw what I what I meant to contribute in this space. So thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Of course. So I want you to please share, because I had a great time reading it, and I know everyone else will too. But tell us what um what inspired this book, Lipstick Football.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Well, um, at first it was meant to be me teaching the game of football to people who don't know it that well. And a lot of that might be women, you know. They're you know, sometimes they'll go into the room and the foot where the football game is on. And some of them are hardcore and they know exactly what's going on. But a lot of uh a lot of you know, women and other people don't quite get the game. And what I learned um early on, um, if I can share this story, it's so it's it was so revealing and and such an um you know an inspiration for me to write the book. In 2008, uh the Super Bowl was in Las Vegas, and I happened to be in Las Vegas at the time, and I stepped in a few weeks before Green Bay had um had a had a playoff game, and their defense just sort of fell apart in the third quarter. And I didn't quite know the game well enough to understand what had happened. So I step into an elevator at this hotel in Las Vegas, and there's a guy wearing a Green Bay baseball hat. I thought, oh, here's my chance. So I say, uh I say to him, oh, hi, can I ask you a question in that game with Green Bay against whoever? I said, you know, in the third quarter, their defense just, you know, uh, what happened to their defense? And and he said, Oh, they failed to adjust. And I said, Oh, well, like, what do you mean? Like that was like I'm a curious person. So, like, for me, that wasn't quite enough. You know, it's like, give me, give me more, talk to me more about it. And what the weirdest thing happened, this guy, he could not talk more about it to me. He said, Well, and he got flustered, and he said, Well, you know, they simply failed to adjust. And then another uh, then then a person, another person, a guy walked onto the uh the a floor, the elevator stopped, and then they strike up this conversation and they're all over it. And I and I I'm somebody who when something happens, I go away and I go, wait, what? What just happened? What what was that all about? You know, and so I gave that some thought and uh and I realized guys can't teach women football because they experience the game in 3D. And women, it's in their DNA. You know, when they by the time their tiny hands could hold an object, they were given a football, right? They were taught to throw. And and that's how guys grew up, boys grew up with that as an opportunity, as an encouragement. Girls, hopefully, today's a little different, but you know, when I grew up, not so much. And so a lot of women uh grew up without what I call football DNA, it's not like in their blood, and so their experience of the game is more 2D and not 3D. And so when guys start to break down the game, and you mentioned in the intro about my crack the marble uh concept, which I just love, that's at the core of a lot of things I do, and it's part of my condition principle. That that concept, guys couldn't break it down enough to meet us

AI Tools Without Losing Spark

SPEAKER_01 22:40

where we women were, at least on my team, in my professional women's football team. I stood there and I watched as guys would tell our coaches who were men would tell the women what to do, but without an explanation of why or why not or what the purpose or what the reaction, you know, that depth that I think women really absorb. They really like to understand that more than just stand here and hit this person, you know. And it's like, you know, so you know what I mean? And so uh so that that really struck, um uh, you know, inspired me to say, you know, Diana, you need to write the book because you can break it down, you can teach it in a language. And I've had people, even guys, who've read the book and said, wow, I learned something about football that I didn't know before. And uh uh and then a couple of reviews. It's like, wow, I don't know about that life stuff, but I sure learned a lot about football. You know, so so I think did do uh what my one of my goals was to uh explain the game in very simple terms so that anyone can get the game, can follow the game, and can you know be enthusiastic uh about watching it in in a group?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

So well you did that in such a fantastic way, I have to say. And then when you when you think about it, there are people who write books, they author books, and they offer all kinds of um suggestions and and tools to accomplish something, but who better to do this than someone who actually played football? Now that's one thing that we didn't really get to. How you got here to have this knowledge and experience in the world of tackle football? Because I really don't know, I can't say that I've ever spoken to a defensive end female, right? Or someone I have never had the uh pleasure of meeting uh a team manager. So I want to talk about your experience as a tackle football player on a women's football team with the um women's national football league? Professional football. Professional. Okay, so tell us first of all, what in the world just motivated you to get up and say, I think I'll go try out for a football team. How did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 25:21

Well, I grew up loving football, played street football with my older brother and his friends. Um then I was in the high school marching band and college, you know, hook'em horns, uh, longhorn marching band. Um and so I knew every yard of a football field because I was marching up and down it, I was comfortable around it and on it. I loved the smell of fresh cut grass on the field. And um so there was a real comfort level for me there. And you know, holidays would come and I would often pull out a football and get family and friends. Let's go out and you know, throw the ball. And so we go to the park and throw a football. So it was always sort of there in my back pocket. Uh always loved it. And uh and then when I saw that uh that Los Angeles was starting its first women's professional football team, I thought, why not me? You know, why not? And uh and I really wanted to uh I really wanted that quarterback position. I was going to the park and throwing and practicing and getting my arms stronger and stronger. And uh as you know, because you mentioned defensive end, uh I didn't get that position. That was not meant to happen in that particular uh time and situation. You know, the women were were younger, beefier, taller, and I was just this sort of shrimp. And um and and it made perfect sense that I didn't get that position. Um, but I still made the team, and I could have left and said, well, that's not, I don't want to play if I don't play that position, but that's not how I felt. It's like I'll do whatever I need to do to be on this team and show up in this way uh and um and and be part of this experience because it was a it was a huge first.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yes, absolutely. So you went, what were the tryouts like, and and how did you come to actually be on the team?

SPEAKER_01 27:27

So you've probably well you have because you're a mama bear.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Uh you know, you know, you've got the cones, the orange cones on the field, and you've got to do some zigzags, you've got to do that where you, you know, you go sideways down the field for a while, you've got to run out and catch some passes, and you've got to throw. They just really put you through all the drills that we're used to seeing um, you know, in in regular, you know, uh men or boys' football tryouts. So we did all of that, and um I don't know if there was a cutoff or if they took everybody they should. I wasn't sure about that. Um, but I was just there with that sense of giving it my all. I just tried so hard to just do my best at every possible position. And um

Teaching Football In Plain English

SPEAKER_01 28:20

and it turned out it turned out so well. It turned out so well that I didn't get the position I wanted because it forced me then to learn other positions. And there was a point where I got injured and um during one of the practices, and uh and and this goes back, I hesitate because it goes back to uh to the way guys coach at the time, the way they were coaching us, wasn't in a way where we were fully protected all the time. So I ended up going head to head with a gal who cleated, who I got cleated. I got under her cleat and had to go and have stitches. But what that did, that provided an opportunity uh because we had the about four uh male coaches and then the women players, and we didn't really have any organizational structure above that, like a general manager, someone who took care of us as a team. And so uh I realized that's what we needed, and as I was recuperating from uh my injury, uh I stepped into that role and became you know the general manager and started to uh to really lead the team in a way that uh was representative, you know, in the community, listening to their needs, being that sort of communicative, go-between with coaches and if there were problems or issues. And then when I was able to get back on the field, uh I got back on the other side of the line in defense, which I never thought I would have done, but defensive end, uh, and uh got to be that little pesky character that gets in the way between the quarterback throwing and the receiver receiving, and it's like, you know, I got to like just really um have fun, have fun interrupting the play. And that that was really a fun place, and it was a place that I shined, so that was really cool.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

I love that. And shine, of course, is one of the principles um in your book in lipstick football. And it's just it's it's so wonderful to uh hear and and sh to hear your experience in that you just thought, you know what, why not me? And you tried out for the team, and even with the ups and the downs and having to pivot, you still found a place where you could can contribute and and a way to better yourself in every situation by learning something new and just by being there to support and be uh take a leadership role, you know, with others. And and me, yes, as you said, being a mama bear, I know what that's like, you know, from from five years old, uh, you know, having to be there and talk my son through different positions. And okay, if this is not working out right, you you gotta go and you gotta, you know, give it your all over here until you until you get your footing, and then you know, you settle into something that is really meant for you, something that you're good at, and something that other people appreciate and and you know take advantage of from you. And I and I love um the fact that, like you said, I know men will learn from the principles in your book and just the the education on football. Because I have to tell you, I've watched my son, he was a wide receiver, and he played at UCLA, uh, played for the Sooners for a season and the Utah Youth, and he played for a season in Japan professionally. And so I um I know what that's like for you to to kind of you know get in there, do do the best that you can. And sometimes there are just um there are things that can, you know, kind of get in your way, and you have to figure out how to how to make these work. And so that's another thing that I really took from lipstick football is how to um develop those plays based on your particular skills, your talents, and then how to work towards getting to that end zone. So I would love for you to tell us about the principles, the eight principles of lipstick football.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Oh great, I love these. Uh and it it I have to be honest, at first I was thinking I was just gonna write a book primarily for women and um and and and teach the game. And as I started writing, I just started becoming aware of these driving principles that were at play uh in my experience in the game. And then I started seeing them as universal, it wasn't just me. And it wasn't just a go through start to finish and you're done, like a ladder. It was a cycle, an energetic cycle that you go through. Uh, and that and it just it just became uh a different way. As I said, sometimes I'll like step back and say, wait a minute, what's the deeper thing here? And uh, and I really I I really felt this is it for me. This is what football gave me, this set of principles where you know I can watch the game and I can see any one of these principles uh at play. So uh the principles are uh they the I use the word lipstick as an acronym. Uh-huh. So L is for leap, I is immerse, P for play, S shine, T is for track, I is initiate, C condition, and K is kick. And they they break out into two sets. And so, like a game of football is two halves. So the first set is lips. And the lips principles are about working internally. Where what do you want? Where are you positioned? How do you sort of see yourself? Are you ready to step into that position or do you need to learn more? It's all about you deciding to step onto the field, about you deciding to pick up the ball and run with it. Uh, and um, but without that sense of where are you going and how are you going to get there? It's just that first, you know, where do you want to go? And and that's why I call it the sort of an internal process. And then the second half is tick, uh, the track, initiate, condition, and kick is all about, all right, now you've got the focus of what you want to do, uh, your dream or aspiration. Now let's get it downfield and into the end zone. Let's win this game. And how are we going to do that? Uh so uh so you know you you you gotta have a good game plan, then you have to initiate plays, um, and you have to condition yourself so that you become a master of your thoughts and actions in this situation. And uh and and then you need to find ways to kick yourself forward. So um so that's the that's the lipstick principles, and uh I see them uh today. They keep evolving in terms of their depth and their meaning for me, and today I see them very much as as a cycle. Um anything you're doing, you're somewhere in that cycle. And the benefit of knowing the cycle, it's like if you're driving in snow and you get stuck, and if you add more throttle, if you push, push, push, you're just gonna dig yourself in deeper, right? Your your tire's gonna spin, you're not gonna go anywhere, right? So if you know about snow and getting stuck in snow, you know you have to stop that and and then like dig out some snow and add some debris or you know, little twigs or whatever to create traction for you to get out. And so that's what I think understanding the principles is it provides you a structured cycle so you don't get stuck. If you find yourself in a particular phase, I think I'm in the phase of immersing, let's say, or whatever it is, or or initiating, let's use that. So you you've been initiating plays, you're doing things, you're out there doing things, and and you feel like, well, maybe I'm not getting it done somehow, or I'm not getting it done as effectively as I hoped, or I'm not getting the right results. Well, then the next principle is condition, which is all about mastery. So now you look at your regime, now you look at your habits, now you look and like clean up your act, let's say. It's like, is there something that you're doing that you could improve? Can you improve a habit? Um, you know, can you can you do better uh in in terms of of reacting to something? Um, you know, just just having control over your thought process. Uh, in my uh conditioning chapter, I talk about uh what I call the action evolution. And and that's like, you know, if you're not happy with what you see or what you see yourself doing, or the results of that, it doesn't just happen at that end. You've got to like go back and say, where did this begin? It began with a feeling, which turned into a thought, which turned into something you voiced. I'm no good at that, maybe you say, or when will I ever learn? You know, that's you sort of beat yourself up sometimes with some some negative talk. And then that turns into an action. And so um, so it it's it's interesting, and it and that's the section where you just really master what you are doing in order to dial up uh your you know your your level of play. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

So yes. All

Why Not Me And Making The Team

SPEAKER_00 38:40

all eight of these principles really spoke to me, and I learned so much. And I was going to say that, you know, in watching my son play football all of these years, I mainly focused on him. I I watched what he did, how he ran the route, whether or not he he messed up on the route, it was at a fumble. Uh, how did he jump into the end? So I I focused on everything having to do with him as a wide receiver. And although I saw all of the boys on the field, I couldn't have told you all of the positions and exactly what they were supposed to do. So, what your book did for me is it really did open my eyes to so many things. First and foremost, how to really, like you said, to look at yourself, envision, and and be able to decipher between your dreams and your goals and to set a path for you to be able to accomplish that. But I literally found myself taking the book and putting it down, which I I so love, and I got all my little notes here. And so I put it down and I pick up my notepad, and then I start drawing those circles and putting those positions down. And now I'm like, okay, there's the center. All right, so the center, he's gonna snap, then he's gonna, he's gonna help lock, and he's on the front, and there's the five guys, the two guys here are the guards, and then you have the the tackles. And it's so funny because my son came downstairs um one day and I said to him, I said, what are the positions on the O-line? And he said, he just looked at me, he says, Okay, so you have your center, you have your guards. I was like, I got this thing after all these years, I'm watching you and all it was so good. And I was like, That was my goal. It it I really learned, and I thought it was great how you incorporated the two. And and and that just speaks to um your incredible ability to teach people, but to really meet them where they are. And and I do believe, like you said, there are women who may not know the game of football, but they actually can learn while they're learning new ways to be able to better themselves, be the best version of them of themselves. And then men too, who actually know a little something about football, but they really are learning everything from the referees and you know what they're called and what their jobs are and how you move the chains. I loved it. I totally loved it. And so it it really meant a lot. And I I have to tell you that the leap principle, which is the first principle that you speak to, um that really resonated with me in starting new chapters myself, and sometimes being hesitant to jump into something because or leap into it because I'm just not sure, I may not feel as confident. And I love how you brought this all together. And I just wanted to ask you, why do you feel that women sometimes struggle in the way that we do to take that first step? I mean, I know everybody does, but you know, talking about women, what what do you think are some of the the biggest challenges that you see us facing?

SPEAKER_01 42:07

You know, I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Um just in in my own personal journey. Um, and you know, things happen over time and it comes up, you know, at different times, and you uh remember it. And sometimes we like to think that things that happened a long time ago don't affect us today. But I I realized that when I was young, I had what I'm coining a few psychic whacks. A psychic whack, you can almost imagine what that is, right? I mean, you know, a physical whack might be somebody slapping you, but a psychic whack is even worse because it's not attached to something physical. It's something where somebody shuts you down, somebody blocks you, somebody says no, or not good enough, or you know, just something, and and my memory was of me being this young, creative, little sensitive person doing something that felt joyful to me and getting shut down. And so so I've been looking at that as it relates to leap. And I don't think I'm alone. I think a lot of women, because we're sensitive creatures, we're sensitive souls, right? And so I think a lot of women probably have had an experience where they may have experienced some kind of psychic whack where they were told, no, not good enough, not whatever enough. Um, and when you start to think about leaping, I think there's a little bit of a haunting of whatever it is that may have happened, maybe you're aware of it, maybe you're not, but something might be in the way, and like almost like a Little smoke. It might be as like as ephemeral as smoke. And that's between you and the leap. And so, you know, to leap is really to in you know to really just say yes and do it, and then figure out once you get to the other side of saying yes, then figure out what you're gonna do about that. Um in in my book, I I talk about leap as having two parts, that inner, very inner, inner saying yes, and then the external, where the universe sees you do something because you said yes. But the thing is that I've noticed is that whenever you leap, and and I this is where I introduce the concept of offense versus defense in football, whenever you know, everybody lines up, you know, to the line of scrimmage, right? And everybody's perfectly still. And if anybody twitches before the ball is hiked, a penalty, a flag comes out and there's a penalty because they they moved, and you're not supposed to move until the ball is hiked. And uh, and I just thought that was very interesting, and that to me is like the stillness be while you're making the internal leap to say, yeah, I think I'm gonna say yes on this. And then when you hike the ball and take that leap, there will always be a reaction. So in football, once the once the center hikes the ball, and once the you know the ball goes into motion, the defense is after you, right? There's that front-on, you know. Uh and and that's I think what happens in life. I think the moment you decide I'm gonna do this, uh, and you take a first step, something might happen. Is it the universe testing you? Is it the universe saying, ah, how much do you want this? Let's just have some fun and let's see if Nina really wants this or not. You know? And and I think a little bit of that happens, and it's a good little testing ground to say, no, I want this, I want this. But the sooner we can first of all, anticipate that's gonna happen. Anticipate that once you say yes, once you take a leap, some kind of defensive force will happen, will come at you, right? And that the sooner you then move into the next principle and the next stage of the cycle, immerse, that's where you get grounded. That's where you now start to understand and learn and figure out. Well, I just leaped. Where am I? Where does that put me now? What do I need to know to feel comfortable in this new space that I've leaped into? So leap sometimes sounds like you know, a simple first step. I feel it's complex and uh and you know benefits from that sort of bigger picture, you know, of what of what you're getting into. Right. Does that make sense? I mean I think it's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

No, it makes absolute sense. And I think what you know from what you're saying too, sometimes you don't know the direction, you're not sure exactly how to attack it, you know. So taking that leap, that leaf of faith, can be challenging. Um, you know, just because um you can always jump into something, but I guess a person that really is um thinking in a smarter way, uh, would think about how to go about it. You're gonna set a plan, just like a game plan, as you speak of. So if you're a coach, you you don't just get out there and say, okay, well, we're gonna figure out how we're gonna get to that end zone. You you have your players, you you you have, okay, what's gonna happen if this happens, if this guy comes from there. And so there are so many things that you have to think about that I could see where that would cause anyone a bit of the concern about, okay, well, where should I go from here? And so taking that leap um is a bigger challenge sometimes than once you get in it and you start moving, and then you feel, okay, all right, so I'm going this way. All right, well, I'm gonna go that way. But but it's all uh challenging, you know, sometimes just doing anything living. You have to get up in the morning and you have to think um positive thoughts. You have to, you know, set your plan for the day or set your plan for the week or the month. And so I see, you know, how it can be challenging, and I appreciate that you thought enough to say, okay, I'm not gonna just tell you this is how you get from the 20-yard line to the 60-yard line. You really thought of ways to help a person stop for a moment and and figure out, okay, if is this the direction I'm going in? And yes, I'm going to expect that there is going to be opposition, you know, that safety is gonna come up, that that defensive, that DB is over there. And so I'm gonna think about ways to maneuver so that I can get to where I want to be ultimately. So I I just appreciate all of the thoughtful uh context and how again you made it easier for someone to see it. And just taking these principles from football really does help a person say, okay, because we we all know what the tackler, you know, what his objective is, right? And we all know what the running back, what his objective is, as well as the quarterback. So when you think about it in those terms, you can see how you can actually apply that to your life. So I totally get it. I do.

SPEAKER_01 50:16

I do I want to just add because uh I used to think, and this is something, a clarity that football gave me for my life, I used to sort of think dreams and goals were the same thing. It's like, oh, I've got a dream or a goal, whatever, you know, interchangeable words. And in doing this work and uh evolving the principles, I I stopped thinking that way, and I've started to really separate. That's why I talk about lips and tick, and tick being that sort of the tick-tock of a clock. Now let's get this done. We're we're you know, that's all about goals. That's strategy. And some of what you mentioned, like why you might not jump, is because you might not know the strategy yet. And that that comes later. Um, what I love about the set of the first four principles is that they are meant to solely be about the cultivation and the planting of the dream. Of like be like, give yourself the chance to play with it. And the third principle play. I love the concept of playing with possibilities. I mean, that's what happened to me.

The Lipstick Principles That Travel

SPEAKER_01 51:30

And in my, I had to give up being a quarterback, and then I and then I needed to play with possibilities. And and I didn't know, I didn't have a game plan at that point. I didn't know the strategy. I had to give myself the time and the freedom to just be in that space and uh and and feel my way through it uh until I found the place where it clicked and where I started to feel like I was in flow. And then I could start thinking about all right, let's do a game plan and let's move forward. So I like to protect those first four, the process of those first four principles. And so I may have led you astray by talking about how complex leap was. It can be very simple in terms of that inner voice saying yes to it. And I encourage, I encourage that yes because what's the net that's holding you, you know, they say leap and then and the net will appear, right? And in the principal cycle, the net that's gonna catch you is immerse, that principle. Like, oh, gotcha. What do you want to learn? Where do you want to, you know, who do you want to talk to? What mentor do you want to have? Let's get you some help, let's let's put you in this class, let's sign you up for for something, you know, whatever it is, um, you know, immerse has got your back to get you to the point where you now have the confidence to play with possibilities, which then of course lead you to experiencing where you shine. So I love that.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

All right, I love that. And I just think you you give um in your book the roadmap to to that other principle to shine, because when you really do, when you take the leap, as you say, and when you immerse yourself in something and you learn and you take it all in and you are about it, you know what I mean? Instead of just you know wanting to do it, you are about it. Um deter. That's the perfect way to put it. Yeah, so you, you know, then you know, now you're ready. When you put all those pieces together, you're you're ready to shine. And I love uh that that word and that principle shining. And I think about the opportunities that are available for young women today. You know, I am such an advocate for young athletes, and it comes from my days of being a sports mom, and then just for caring about kids and and and having concern for them having children of today, having the ability to be able to learn these concepts in play and and the ways that they can apply them to uh their their life when it comes to education, when it comes to so many things, and especially with young girls. We we really do need mentors, and that was my first introduction to you. That was uh when I saw you speaking. You were the keynote speaker at the Boys and Girls Club of uh the West Valley, um, speaking to young women at the Tea Talk about these principles and how to apply this to uh their lives. And I really do love that about you and and about us as women, how you know that is our that that's our job, you know, that I think that is our purpose here on life, and that is to be able to encourage, uplift, and and support someone else. So I wanted to ask you since you've had a front row seat to uh watching filming and uh excuse me, women in football, and you've seen how things have evolved. I I wonder how you've seen the physical training, mental preparation, and overall development of female athletes changing over the years.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

Well, I don't have a front row seat so much in that I am not like actually coaching um girls in a sport. Um and and what I I can say is that there's a lot of really good work being done to provide more opportunity for girls and women in sport through uh organizations like Women's Sports International, uh Lily Jean King's uh Women's Sports Foundation, um, Beyond Sport is working with uh Dick Sporting Good and Under Armour to provide grants to for girls to do flag football. Uh so I I love that um these opportunities are being developed and offered. Uh, with girls' flag football, that is becoming pretty big. Uh there are like now 20 states that have put uh girls flag football on their sport offerings uh for girls to be able to sign up. Uh it's now part of the NCAA, uh the Collegiate Empowering Sports for Women uh program. Of course, it's going to be in the Olympics in 28 for men and women. So that's cool. And the NFL is doing a lot with uh with girls' flag football. And even like our local teams, the LA Rams and the Chargers, sort of have adopted and put together uh girls' flag football teams. And it's a really good uh match. It's a it's a wonderful sport uh for girls because you know it's a smaller team rather than 11, you know, that there's like you know a smaller group, like five, I think, and they have and it and it's more about strategy. It's not then there's not like a front line where they're gonna like throw their bodies into it. Um although I did feel uh that when I played um when I played professional tackle football, there was something empowering about putting my body on the line and holding, you know, that phrase, hold the line, hold that line, hold that line. Um that was meaningful to me. And I think just as a metaphor for women to be able to hold the line and protect themselves uh in a physical way, to feel that that physical strength, courage, and resilience as they were pushing through to get something that that they truly wanted. So in terms of the physical workout and stuff, for someone playing um girls' flag football, for example, I don't I think it's probably um not the same kind of physical workout or strength because the game is is a little bit different and coming from more of a strategy um you know focus rather than you know um but uh but I'm loving what I'm seeing and it's never enough.

SPEAKER_00 58:39

Absolutely, I agree with you there. And then there are just a few uh organizations like the Play Equity Fund and LA 84, which I really do applaud uh these foundations, all that they are doing to support youth in sports and understanding how important it is for children to be well-rounded, to be able to adjust and um and find some some joy in in this life because you know we had a lot of fun going outside and playing, as you say when your family would get together. You grab the football, and it was something that brought you together. It was something that you learned from, you learn how to work together as a team and just and just had some good old wholesome fun. So I want to ask you just a few questions, and they're gonna be little quick, you know, almost like rapid fire, and I'd like for you to just give me um your your opinion. Um, what lesson from football do you wish every young girl could learn before she enters adulthood that she's a rapid fire?

SPEAKER_01 59:55

This is a little rapid fire.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:01

They're a little longer than rapid fire questions. Okay, so what do you think is the most important lesson that a young girl or any child can learn from the game of uh football?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:14

Yes. Uh the the power of team, of teamwork for sure. Uh how to take the lead. Okay. Uh so the leadership training uh aspect, how, as you've mentioned, how to pivot, be able to pivot, how to develop your sense of principles, how to know what matters to you, and how to defend that fiercely. Uh, one quick little story in my experience playing the game as in the general manager role, one of my duties was to make sure we had somebody who sang the national anthem at the top of every game. One game that singer dropped out, and I kid you not, the girls refused to start the game. Oh, okay. Did not want, and that that threw me. It's like, wait, what what? And then I realized they were bringing, they

Girls Flag Football And Closing Advice

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

were bringing this professional level of play. They were showing up with this bar of professionalism, and part of that for them meant that somebody sang the national anthem, and they did not like that that was skirted over. Uh and I was so admired so much their their standing up for that that I went and found somebody to sing. I negotiated. I said, How about this? How about we open the second half with someone singing the national anthem? And they said, Okay, we'll go for that. And that's what we did. But you know what? Together as a team, they knew that mattered to them and they defended it. Okay. I think that's what sports can do, and that's what football can do, is it can bring out a fierceness of defense. Yes. Even though in life, you know, the idea is for us to be on offense and go follow what we want. But at the same time, we also have to defend, we have to hold the line about what matters to us.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:12

Okay, I love that. I love that answer. And so another question is what advice would you give parents who are trying to support a young athlete without getting consumed by the outcome? Because as you put in your book, you gotta take yard by yard to get to the end zone. So, what advice would you give to a parent to support their their young athlete without being so consumed with that the end zone? So uh I think two things with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

One is is that uh you know that that the scoreboard that matters is the one in your heart. Okay. It's the internal scoreboard, right? It's are you having fun doing this? Are you shining when you're on the field? Uh it it matters less, especially I think at a student level, whether the team won as to whether they learned something on the field, they learned something by coming together, practicing, and playing together. So I think that's one thing is to uh is to make sure they're in flow with the sport and with their effort in it. Um and um and then the other thing is to lean into, and this is my condition principle, lean into mastery. Is is the student and is there you know a child uh showing up in a way that they don't have the support to really raise the bar on their own uh their own ability, you know? What's happening there? Are they holding back? Are they not getting the coaching support they need to really develop and evolve? You know, because that's a whole other thing, is this and that's what I learned in a practice, piano practice room. You can show up for three-hour practice, but unless you're applying yourself and breaking it down and cracking the marble to make sure you are actually practicing what matters, you might miss out on you know, uh scoring and miss out on that gaining yardage concepts.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:26

Yes. I I love that. Diana, I can't thank you enough for taking the time out to sit with me and to share um all of these valuable nuggets and to really be um an inspiration as you have been for not just young people, um, young athletes, but for women, for men, and for really championing um the call for us to be the best versions of ourselves. You know, when I think about my son playing uh or running track, we uh had to familiarize ourselves with with your personal best. And by doing that, you become a better competitor because you really are focusing on yourself, what you can do to be the best version of yourself. And the better you get, the better you are to compete in life and just to be able to live and accomplish those things that you really want to accomplish. So I thank you for sharing so very much. Um, it's been such a great conversation, and I know that anyone listening is going to um get as much out of it as I did. So I I really want to thank you. I know we can talk so much more about the mental health aspect and so many other things when it comes to athletes, but I think today we really did cover um what what it takes to really sit down, develop a strategy, and to just go forward, leap, and just, you know, in the end, you're gonna you're just gonna kick and you're gonna make it happen. So I thank you. I would love to share information uh a little later. We'll go ahead and we'll put something up on the workshop that you have coming up soon. And um this has just been an incredible conversation. I just thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:26

Thank you so much, Nina. I love your enthusiasm. I love what you've done by talking to uh to women in this space. It's I I've always envisioned that this is a conversation women need to be in and to own the space and and carve it out for themselves and not be an afterthought to it. So I really appreciate you raising it up and holding the space for us to uh to talk about this.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:48

Of course. And we will come back and we'll talk again. But in the meantime, absolutely, I just want to say thank you to everyone watching and listening. This is the Mama Bear Podcast. I'm your host, Nina Shay. I've had the best time talking with my wonderful guest, Diana Winen. And I I just thank you all for supporting. Remember to like, share, and subscribe on our channel on YouTube, the Mama Bear Podcast. And we'll see you in a den too.