On Our Best Behavior
On Our Best Behavior is a heartwarming podcast where Mom, Kelli and 16-year-old son, Maccoy delve into the complexities of school, life's struggles, highs and lows, and various challenges. With a blend of humor and sincerity, they navigate through these topics while sharing their own experiences and insights. Their conversations are not only relatable but also enlightening, offering listeners a fresh perspective on everyday issues. Alongside their engaging discussions, they welcome intriguing guests, adding a dynamic element to each episode. Tune in to join this duo on their journey of growth, learning, and discovery.
On Our Best Behavior
Single parenting: biology & beyond!
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What does it mean to step up when tragedy strikes? In this deeply personal episode, Kelli welcomes her first guest co-host, Robert "Bigfoot Bob" Dominguez from the Bigfoot Club podcast, for a conversation about unexpected parenthood and the profound journey of raising someone else's child.
When Robert's beloved sister Sandra died from cervical cancer, her final wish was for her brother to raise her son Stephen. Already a significant male figure in the boy's life, Robert transitioned from fun uncle to full-time parent overnight, navigating his own grief while helping his nephew through the same devastating loss. "I couldn't yell at him because he lost his mom, which was his only parent, and I lost my favorite sibling," Robert shares, revealing the delicate balance of discipline and compassion required in their situation.
The conversation explores how Robert made Stephen his absolute priority, even ending romantic relationships when partners couldn't accept coming second to his nephew's needs. Kelli relates with her own experiences as a single mom following divorce, and together they discuss the practical challenges and emotional complexities of single parenthood. There's particular poignancy when Robert describes watching Stephen become a father himself, completing a beautiful cycle of care and commitment.
Beyond the specifics of their stories, this episode offers profound insights about chosen family, sacrifice, and unconditional love. It's a testament to the truth that parenting isn't defined by biology but by presence, commitment, and the courage to step up when needed most. Whether you're raising your own children solo, caring for someone else's child, or simply interested in stories of remarkable human connection, this conversation will touch your heart and perhaps change how you think about what makes a family.
Welcome back to another episode of On Our Best Behavior. I'm your host, kelly, and if you're wondering where my favorite sidekick McCoy is, well, he's officially ditched me for the summer. That's right. He's off living his best life while I'm here holding down the fort. But don't worry, I've got something very special planned break. I'll be joined by some amazing guest co-hosts who are ready to step in, share their stories and bring fresh energy to the show. We'll still be talking about life lessons, laughs and all the good stuff, with just a few new voices, until our dynamic duo reunites next season. So buckle up, it's going to be a fun ride, let's get into it. Fun ride, let's get into it. You're listening to another episode of On Our Best Behavior, and today is exciting because it's my first episode with my temporary guest co-host, robert Dominguez.
Speaker 2Hey.
Speaker 1Kelly, aka Bigfoot Bob.
Speaker 2Hey, thank you for doing that moniker. That's awesome, I love it. And you all know Bigfoot Bob from the Bigfoot Club podcast, so I talked about it on my last episode that he was going to be joining me and here he is, so ta-da, I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1I was going to say I call you Robert when I'm mad at you and Bigfoot Bob when I'm not. Yeah Right, everyone knows five Bobs, but nobody knows a Bigfoot Bob.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1Unless they know you.
Speaker 2Yeah, I kind of noticed that this past week.
Speaker 1Guilty Guilty. Hey, I'm a girl and I get a little crazy sometimes.
Speaker 2You know it happens to the best of us, it's okay.
Speaker 1It's because I'm a strong, independent woman.
Speaker 2And so sometimes I struggle with that. I like that about you. I think it's one of the very many attributes about you that I'm drawn to.
Speaker 1It's a blessing and a curse right.
Speaker 2It is.
Speaker 1So today we are going to talk about being single parents, because that is one of the many things that you and I have in common, and I don't know have you and Steven done an episode where you guys have talked about this?
Speaker 2I don't think we have. We've talked about his mom a lot because his mom was my older sister and she raised me, so we talk about her a lot, but we've never talked about his dad or the process that we went through and like the changes that we kind of went through like together, because it was hard on both of us.
Becoming Stephen's Guardian
Speaker 1I guess I never even thought about Stephen's dad. Sometimes I feel this is really like rude, but sometimes I forget, like that the dads are as a single mom, like I just forget about the dad sometimes, right, unless you see a dad that's doing all the work and you don't see the mom there. But you guys have a really different situation. So I'm glad that you brought that part up, because it's going to go into my questioning that I have for you, mm-hmm. Okay. So my first question since you are Stephen's uncle, were you and Stephen always close?
Speaker 2Yeah, because I was Stephen's mom, which is her name, is Sandra. She was seven years older than me and she raised me. So I was always with her all the time and I was telling Stephen this, like the other day that I think I maybe got into two arguments with her, maybe the whole the whole time I've known her and I've always, you know, two arguments with her, maybe the whole time I've known her and I've always respected her a lot and I've always looked up to her. So I've always been in his life. So when he was born I was there and I held him whenever he was born and I tell him this all the time. He gets so upset whenever I'm talking about this but he had some of the fluid in his eye and his eye was really really like big and bulgy, so I called him lobster eye and he hates that. I know he's going to hear this goes oh you punk.
Speaker 1Of all the stories you have to bring that one up.
Speaker 2So I like held him whenever he was born and my sister it was, you know, her first child and she was super hungry and they, like you know how the doctors tell you don't eat. Oh I do and she didn't eat. So she goes go to McDonald's, give me a double, give me like a Big Mac, you know fries, you know apple pie. So I had to sneak it into the hospital and I and I gave it to her.
Speaker 2and then she gave me the baby Steven and I was, I was like holding him while she was like eating and stuff. So it was kind of funny.
Speaker 1When I had Mackie they told me the same thing, like you can't eat right, because what if you need a C-section for some reason? And then you, if you're going to get the anesthetic. You're going to get the anesthetic. You're going to vomit if you eat. So that's why, and so I was so hungry because I went in. I was induced with Mackie and so I went in at like 6.30 in the morning and he wasn't born until 5.44 in the evening, and so I hadn't eaten anything and I was gestational diabetic when I was pregnant.
Speaker 1And so as soon as he was born, they're like do you want to hold your baby? And I'm like no, I want a Pepsi, like full flavor Pepsi Go get me one that is so funny Give me the sugar.
Speaker 2So did you eat anything afterwards?
Speaker 1So then, right, everything was closed and I was really craving Pepsi which I did get my Pepsi because vending machines but I was also like super craving fruit, like I just really wanted fresh fruit. And there was there's this really great place near the hospital that I delivered called Bob's Produce, and they were closed, and so then I never got my fruit. I didn't eat I don't think I ate anything that night, I just had my Pepsi and then I pouted, because that's what I do when I don't go.
Speaker 2You're such a soldier Because, like Sandra was, like she was hangry and she goes, go get me something to eat. Now I go, I can't bring it in. She goes bring it and I go. Okay, so I brought it. What?
Speaker 1are they going to do?
Speaker 2Yeah, I brought it and so I've always been in his life and like um, my sister, would you know, she would call me when he was like 10 or 11 and he wasn't like he, he didn't come home from school. He was playing freeze tag in the very front of the school and she called me and she says he's not home and I was working security at the time so if I left I lost money. So I would go and pick him up and I said why is? Why is your mom calling? Why is your mom calling me? And I was always in his life, I was always. I wouldn't say I would, I would punish him all the time, but I was, I was his male figure, so you were always kind of like an authoritative and fun role, so that didn't have to evolve or change once I spoiled him so much, so he got, he got, like he got, uh, super nintendo.
Speaker 2She's got playstation one, two, three, four. He got them all through me, uh.
Speaker 1So I spoiled him a lot so when he knew you were mad, it was in trouble.
Speaker 2Yes, like it was serious because I, you know, I'll tell him. You know, even like to this day day, his kids will question whenever he's punishing them. And he looks at me and he goes I never questioned you, I go. No, you didn't. So as soon as I would tell him one thing, he would just do it. I said you're not playing video games today, you're doing your homework, you're going to eat, take a shower, do your homework and go to bed. He goes, okay, and he would just do it. So he was a really, really good kid.
Speaker 1I think that generational gap right Like. I do believe I think Steven is my age-ish. He's probably younger than me, but I feel like we didn't. It was like you. I feel like when I was a kid it was speak, when you're spoken to be seen and not heard, and no means no, and nowadays it's just not like that.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Which there's pros and cons to that.
Speaker 2Yeah, His kids ask questions and I tell them like I don't butt into his parenting at all, Like I spoiled his kids and that's it. But every now and then I go hey guys, I'm just trying to help you out, Probably should listen to your dad, okay, Okay. And I'd go, hey guys, I'm just trying to help you out, Probably should listen to your dad, Okay, Okay. If you want to make it worse, keep talking, Keep talking. Back, I tell them.
Speaker 2They go okay. Uncle Robert, you know they'll like listen from there. I go okay. I'm just trying to help you out.
Speaker 1So did your relationship change with Steven once he lost his mom.
Speaker 2Yes, it did, Because it was really tough on both of us. Because, number one, you know, I was in my late 20s, early 30s, whenever she passed and I was so immature and I didn't know how to budget and whenever I was hungry I would go see her and I didn't have any money. She'd give me money and so I didn't know how to budget anything. And then whenever he lost his mom, I couldn't yell at him because he lost his mom, which is his only parent, and I lost my favorite sibling and we were both suffering and so I couldn't really punish him or yell at him. So it was really tough.
Speaker 2The first, I think two years was really tough because his grades had had suffered a little bit because of that and, uh, it was just really really tough. I would just talk to him constantly and I would talk to his teachers and email his teachers, and so it changed dramatically because I was like I was always like authority with him. But then I had to just reel it back a little bit and not get so worked up for stuff, Because you're both grieving you know, too, so you're trying to figure out your new situation.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And then you're also grieving. Both of you are grieving a huge loss.
Speaker 2Yeah, and also at that time, whenever he graduated, we, we both moved to Tulsa. I just thought a new city, a new thing, should it should happen for us. And you know, we we did it and it kind of bonded us together, because we're like we were really dependent on each other now, because we didn't have any family there.
Speaker 2So I said okay, so it got really really he and I got really close and then we like moved back, like two years later, uh, to the dallas fort worth area, so and then after that was good, you know, and uh, we, we like finish each other's sentences sometimes and like we like his wife, his wife will see us arguing and thinking we're arguing, we, we're really not. We're not arguing, that's just how we are.
Speaker 1It's your dynamic.
Speaker 2Yeah, so he's cussing at me, I'm cussing at him, but we're doing it like in accents or, like you know, like a Japanese accent or a Russian accent. That's just how we do it, you know.
Speaker 1You almost have like your own language because, you've been together so long.
Speaker 2So yeah, so we, we just do that and uh, you know I can't. Whenever, whenever I got really sick, I knew that he was pretty concerned and I was really, I felt really bad. I go, I'm sorry to put you through that. So, uh, cause I know you know he, you know, cause Stephen's gone through so much grief and his mom, you know my dad, his stepbrother, his sister, his best friend, so he's gone through a lot of grief and so I try to be, I try to, you know, tap dance around that sometimes.
Speaker 1Give him some grace yeah.
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Speaker 2It was seven of us. I was the baby, and so my mom and dad were working constantly. They were constantly working because my mom held two jobs, my dad held three and so they were constantly working. So they weren't in the house, like you know, parenting us. I know she's going to hear this and get mad.
Speaker 1I parent you. She was doing what she had to do. I mean, that's way better than not doing what she did, and you know you have to do what you have to do there. I said you know, again I like but, uh, yeah so.
Speaker 2So my sister, she, she kind of raised me and she would take me a bath, make sure I ate and make sure I did my homework, and then put me to bed and then wake me up and then get me ready for school. So you know, she's one of the best people I've ever known and I used to tell her when she was on her deathbed. I said I used to tell her go, let me trade places with you. And she goes no, I would never do that. I go, I go just let me do it. And she goes, no, can't do it. She was a she's a great lady and you know I think about her all the time.
Speaker 1So what did she die from?
Speaker 2Cervical cancer.
Speaker 1Oh, my God. She was more afraid of seeing a doctor than dying, than going, yeah, so I work in women's health and so sometimes that's what we see is the people who have cervical cancer or breast cancer A lot of times. I haven't been in for 10, 15, 20 years and it's.
Speaker 2Checkups and stuff.
Speaker 1You can look at a cervix and tell like it's not good.
Speaker 2Yeah, so she was. She was a tough lady and you know she was tough and I respected her a great deal because, like she raised like three kids by her, so she was a single parent too, and I was always there. I was, I tried to be there for her, Like I she would. She would buy groceries and I'll tell you this quick story She'd buy groceries and like I, would.
Speaker 2I would alphabetize her, her cans, Like I would just put it like a you know, I would just do it, because that's just how I am. And then the fall OCD.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2A little bit OCD and like the following day, she would give it to her neighbor. Everything that I worked on, she just gave it. She gave the food to like to a neighbor because she felt that they needed it more. And I go what a, what a sweet lady. I go, sandra, I. I organized all that stuff because they needed it.
Speaker 1You can organize it next time, yeah so, but yeah so okay, I was going to say so, the transition. So Sandra dies, and now what happens to Steven? Did you guys have a conversation? Was there a will, a trust? Steven's?
Speaker 2dad. Yeah, there was a will and I had to go to court to finalize it, and then I was going to child support court after that with his dad, and so I was dealing with his dad and I think I was the only male that was in the court, the court seating. They would put you in a waiting area before I guess the sheriff, or I forgot what it's called the judge, like the officer of the court, would come get you.
Speaker 2You know they'll say, hey, you're up on the docket. So I was the only male in there just sitting in this way with you know, just full of women, and they would tell me because, honey, you're in the wrong room. I said, no, I ain't. No, I ain't, I'm here to get money too.
Speaker 1Yeah right, it's not cheap to have a kid.
Speaker 2No, no, so. So yeah, right it's, it's not cheap to have a kid. No, no, so his dad just wasn't involved in his life. His dad, uh, his dad was not involved in his life.
Speaker 2And then steven met him when he was seven okay, and then, um, he met steven and then just left, never came back. You know, met him one time. If he knew how cool steven was or how great of a person he was, he's just missing out because Steven's a great dad, he's a great, you know. He's a great nephew, he's a great son to Sandra and he's just, he's just a good kid. If I had a kid that was half as cool as he was man, I'd be alright.
Speaker 1So was it hard to be a mom and a dad.
Speaker 2It was. It was Cause I was, you know, I'm sure you can relate to this Cause. It's like you know, I at the time I wasn't ready to be a parent and I was kind of thrust into it and like, uh, steven and I were with Sandra whenever she was, gave her last breath and she asked me to stop. You know, know, take care of steven, make sure he sees the. You know his brother and sister, because he, you know he had, he has uh two like a younger brother and a younger sister. He goes make sure that he sees victor and ollie. And she told me, stop drinking. And I go, okay, I promise. So I haven't drank since then and so I've kept him involved with his, with his other siblings, and but yeah, it was, it was pretty tough, it was pretty tough for me and I don't know, it's actually his first time I actually talked about that.
The Challenges of Single Parenthood
Speaker 1So it is hard because for for me I mean for you at least at least you're a guy and Steven's a guy, but for me I don't really understand a lot of what McCoy is going through as a teenage boy. I only know what I think I know right, and so that's kind of like a and he has a dad and whatnot that he sees, but I don't think that his dad talks about that kind of stuff at all or I talk about that kind of stuff a lot, so you just hope that you're doing the best you can and hitting the right things.
Speaker 1I was telling him about this situation where I found out that my friend was telling me that she ran into a friend she hadn't seen in a long time and the friend was telling her that her 17, she just found out her 17-year-old daughter was 18 weeks pregnant and the father of the baby is 15. So I was telling this to Mac and Mac says to me Mom, that's too late for plan B. And I'm like how the fuck do you know what plan B is Right?
Speaker 1We've never talked about that he hears it from the crowd, so then I had to have this long conversation with him about plan b and like do you know plan b is not 100 effective? Do you know you have to take plan b within a really small window do you know? Even if you take plan b, you can still have a baby like plan b is like really plan z, because you should protect yourself and she should be protecting herself and there really shouldn't be a reason for plan B.
Speaker 2Yeah, I know, I know by by listening to your podcast and I'm I'm, you know, you know this about me. I'm a great fan of your podcast. You're pretty open with Mackie about stuff and sometimes he sounds like he does. He's not ready to, ready to hear these questions and he goes. You know he goes. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1I think that's just like divert, Like I don't want to talk about that yeah, yeah. He's been, I have, I have been this kind of mom his entire life.
Speaker 2I mean.
Speaker 1I haven't changed at all. I've, it's the one thing my mom did with me that I'm really grateful for is she was always super open and talked about things, and if you had a question or if somebody, if you heard a word and you didn't know what it meant, or kids were talking about something and you didn't know what that meant, like it was okay to come home and say, hey, I heard this today at school. What does that mean?
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1Just so that you weren't put in a stupid situation and then kind of peer pressured into doing something you didn't want to do because you didn't even know what it was, or just looking. If you look stupid in school, you get picked on.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1You did back then. I don't know. I feel like the kids are just everyone just doesn't care about anyone else anymore, which is probably okay to stay in your own lane. So I just feel like the more education I can thrust at him, hopefully he absorbs some of it uh, I was gonna ask you about with your situation, I mean being a single parent.
Speaker 2You know how hard was it for you to just deal with like everyday stuff, like bills, mackie, because, like your mom was still alive at that time, right right Was she was she taking care of him too.
Speaker 1So my mom, so I got divorced when Mack was six and my mom watched Mackie for the first year of his life and then she's like he needs to be around other kids.
Speaker 1So he was in daycare, Um, but I feel like by the time I got divorced he was in school. So, right, daycare wasn't a huge issue. He had an iPad and so I would say you have to FaceTime me when you get home from school every day so that I know you're safe, and you have to FaceTime me every morning before you're going to go to school so that I know you got up and got to school. So that was okay. And then in the summertime my mom would help me again so that I know you got up and got to school. So that was okay. And then in the summertime my mom would help me again so that I didn't have to pay for any kind of daycare or anything like that. So we just kind of made it work and, to be honest, when I decided that I wanted to get a divorce, I didn't care if I had to live in my car, because I was that miserable.
Speaker 2Wow, I have to applaud you because you know and I hate putting this stigma on most women, but most women would just deal with it and just stay, and I applaud you for making a better, you know a bad situation into a better situation, even though at the time it probably didn't look that way.
Speaker 1I just got to the point where I was like, if I I remember thinking like I was folding Mackie's laundry in his bedroom and I was just thinking like if I get sick with like some kind of chronic terminal illness, who's going to take care of me? Not this guy. And I just thought like I don't. My parents got divorced when I was 26, and that was a nightmare Trying to they. You know, my mom was like I just waited until all my kids were grown up, because then it would be easier, because then you guys had like everything you wanted and you got to live in a big, beautiful house and blah, blah, blah and like that sucked.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Talk about trying to parent your parents Not cool. No, so not cool. So I was. I didn't want to end up like that and I felt like when I was 32, I still had time to find love and to find a happy ending and for Mackie to see a healthy relationship yeah, I think at any age when you divorce, it's it's never so, it's never a good time, but I asked Mackie, like, do you remember when your dad and I were together?
Speaker 1And he says I just remember you guys yelled at each other a lot, but that's really all I remember.
Speaker 2Wow, that's not a good memory, no.
Speaker 1But I mean, at least he didn't remember a lot of the other stuff that he could have.
Speaker 2Well, I'm glad you got yourself out of that situation. It all he could have.
Speaker 1Well, I'm glad you got yourself out of that situation and it all worked out.
Speaker 2Yeah, I think I think this is me and I know you're going to. I think you're doing a great job and I know I'm not in that state with you, but just to hear you know your concern for Mackie on your podcast and and how you try to help him and while you're doing a podcast, because I imagine it's like that off scene too, so so but uh it is, it is right.
Speaker 1But like, when you're doing a podcast, you're, you're on and you're. It's funny because I got I was doing a podcast by myself the other night and then I was on the phone and the person I talked to they're like you're still using your podcast voice. I'm like, I'm sorry, like it's a thing, right you have to, like, get in a zone and then it takes a while to get kind of back out of the zone.
Speaker 2And.
Speaker 1I mean I do struggle with depression and sadness and getting in ruts, and so sometimes you know it is a struggle and but Mackie has told me he's like, mom, don't be a victim, Like you can make it a better day. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to be that person where my kids don't tell me not to be a victim. Yeah, and I think he's over over dramatizing the situation, but he does like it slaps me in the face like get your shit together yeah, I think, uh, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2I think before I got sick, I was always depressed a lot. I had some times where I just break down, you know, just by myself. But as I've gone through that illness and I've gotten better, I don't know I think I'm just a really positive.
Speaker 1It's almost like you had a second chance at life.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm very optimistic about stuff and I I say I say this, and Steven hates it. I say it's not personal, it's just business, because people are not in the business of Dominguez, then if they don't want to be in my life, then they don't want to be in my life. I'm okay with it. If they can't, if they want to great, they don't great. So I'm going to keep trucking and I'm going to keep moving. So it just doesn't True.
Speaker 1Because people that you have to like beg to be there. They are toxic, it's not it's not worth it.
Speaker 2Yeah, I had a. I had a roommate that was on my show. I'm not going to say her name, I'm not going to say her name, but she was on my show. She was on my first three seasons of my show and then when I got sick she was absent. She didn't go see me in the hospital and I thought we were friends and we were never romantic or anything like that. But I just thought she was my friend and she wasn't around and she spazzed on me and I go okay, well, I'm not going to take it personal, it's business.
Speaker 2So, business of Dominguez, so she's out.
Speaker 1Sometimes I think, like before my mom died, I didn't know how to deal with death and people that were grieving or sick or what to do or what to say or how to act. So sometimes I do give people some grace in that maybe they just don't know what to do. And so they take a step back because that's the only way they know how to manage it for themselves. But I think you learn a lot once you go through something terrible, but it's I think you learn a lot once you go through something terrible.
Dating While Raising Someone Else's Child
Speaker 2It's tough, cause like I, you know, I lost my dad and there's not, and he died at no three and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and I wake up sometimes I said, man, I got to call dad. Oh wait, I can't, cause he, you know, he's passed about them a lot and I think about my sister a lot. I tell people who actually deal with grief and stuff I said whatever I'm going to say to you is not going to help you. It's only time that's going to help you. And then you're never going to forget. You're never going to forget about these people If they're really close to you and they hurt, if you're being hurt by their absence. It's always going to be that way, but it's just time it's going to help it, but it's never going to go away. So that's just what I say.
Speaker 1I always tell people too. Sometimes you have to ask for what you need, and it's okay, because if the right people are in your life, they're going to respect that and they're going to step up. But people don't always know what you need and what you want, and sometimes it's space and sometimes it's suffocation and sometimes it's somewhere in between. But it's okay to vocalize what you need. Right, yeah, I'm down with that, and we always need food and we always need a clean house. So feed us and clean our house.
Speaker 2And feed the bunnies and the chickens.
Speaker 1And do all the farm chores. Yes, no I really like doing that, so don't take that away from me. No, no.
Speaker 2If it makes you happy, then do it. You know, what always gets on me is writing. I like to write stories and that's just how I am. And I was collecting, like I was collecting a bunch of comic books and I I don't know anymore, I don't know if I told you I sold them all.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I just sold them all Cause.
Speaker 1I Do you regret that.
Speaker 2No, I, I, I don't care about deal. I just look at things differently. I'm a big Cowboy fan, a big Donald Stars fan, a big Mavericks fan. I used to live with they won or lost, and now I don't care, I go. You know what? It's cool? It's just a game. It's fun to watch, it's entertainment, right.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's just business yeah.
Speaker 2You're going to start saying it too. That's, it's just business. Yeah, you're going to start saying it too. So that's just how I look at stuff now. So I just, you know, you know, being a single parent is doing all that I said, man, that's, that was really hard. That was really hard. You know, going through my, my procedure, that was really hard. But, man, you know, stephen used to ask me all the time my mom's calling me steven, and I tell her all the time I'm doing a show and she'll, like, she'll still call me. But, um, she, uh, you know, he used to ask me all the time because do you think you want to have kids, you know, and I go no, you were enough, you were enough.
Speaker 1so because he, was he, uh, was he a cock block for you, like, did he prevent you from having a relationship in your own?
Speaker 2He's going to hate this. He's going to hate this. There was, there was a girl. I'll just, I'll just say her first name was Angela and he hated her. He hated her with a passion. He hated her with a passion and I I cause, like whenever, whenever I first met her, you know, um, sandra had just passed and I would. I was telling her I go, I go, steven is the most important thing in the world to me. I go if you don't mind being number two, you know we can make this work. I go, if you're okay with that, we're good. And she said, okay, yeah, I'm good with it. And she wasn't. So you know I would drop everything for Steven. You know, whatever he needed, I would take care of it. And you know there's sometimes I didn't go out with her because I was dealing with Steven and she didn't like it and he hated her, he hated her. Laugh.
Speaker 1I think that that is like the most honorable thing. Like you want a good person yeah somebody who puts their like nephew that is now their son first. If you don't respect that, yeah, get the fuck out.
Speaker 2Steven was right yeah, because, like, she wanted to get married, she wanted to have kids, um, but I go, uh, you know I couldn't do it, I, you know it's, you know I couldn't do it, you know it's. So you know if cause, like, and I dated another girl named Angela, and every time I talk about Angela he would say the good Angela or the bad Angela.
Speaker 1And I would just laugh. Well, that's good that there was a good one for a little bit, yeah, so yeah, there was, there was a couple.
Speaker 2There was a couple girls that I had to give up because Stephen didn't like them.
Speaker 1Way to go, stephen, but you know it's all good.
Speaker 2I think I'm on the path where I'm supposed to be anyway. So I thought a lot of times I was brought back. I don't know why, but I'll figure it out and when I see it I'll know it.
Speaker 1That's true. I like that. All right. I have a couple more questions, even though I know we're at the 30 minute, because you know I knew we'd talk forever, so I had to try to tell you to keep it short.
Speaker 2But here I am.
Speaker 1Blah, blah, blah. Did you and Steven ever drift apart, Like when he got, when he graduated high school and like started living his own life? Did you guys ever kind of drift?
Speaker 2No, not at all. Whenever, whenever he got Blair pregnant and then they had the kids cause, I told him stay with me, you know I'll pay for everything. Save your money, get you a vehicle, get you a place, and then you can move out. And he was like I had lived by myself before. And so whenever he and Blair and the kids finally moved out, they bought a car, they had a down payment, they saved some money, they moved into an apartment. I think he was worried about me, that I was going to be by myself.
Speaker 2Because you hadn't been for a long time for a while and I go and I told him. I said I lived by myself before you were born and I can live by myself now, I'm good. So no, we we've never drifted apart, we like we, we would talk every day and text each other every day and send memes to each other every day. So, uh, I don't know, I just I'm not going to say he's my favorite nephew, but he's my favorite nephew, but I just love him to death.
Speaker 1I don't think you even have to say that out loud.
Speaker 2We all know I just love him so much and I would do anything for him. So I told him if something were to happen and I would protect them and I would draw someone's attention while he escaped Him and the boys escaped.
Speaker 1Take a bullet, yeah, I would.
Speaker 2I would do it in a heartbeat for him. So he's just, he's such a good kid and you know he's my legacy, so you know.
Speaker 1What's it like now seeing him as a husband and a dad and a grown man and having his own family?
Speaker 2I'm really proud of him. I'm really proud of him and I, I I've told him this, I go, I don't say this enough to you, but I'm really proud, and um, and then he'll like cuss at me afterwards, cause he wants to, he wants to, not, you know.
Speaker 1Don't get too. You know sappy.
Speaker 2Yeah, because I still hug him, like he I mean, I'm sure, mackie's the same way you know because, like you know, he might not be, but when Steven got to an age he didn't want me hugging him anymore.
Speaker 1Oh, mackie knows he has to and he'll be like mom, are you going to go to bed soon? Do you want a hug? I'm like, yeah, you better get your ass over here.
Speaker 2Yeah, because I still hug Steven, even if he doesn't like it, and I'll kiss him. And then I'll just hug and kiss him and his kids are going, because I hug and kiss his kids a lot. I love his kids so much.
Speaker 1Just don't do it on the lips and it's fine.
Speaker 2Yeah, of course, but he's like screaming whenever I'm hugging him.
Speaker 1He'll remember that forever, and he will. He will really appreciate it someday.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1He's got to act tough. You know, it's just what. That's what you guys do.
Speaker 2I don't not anymore.
Speaker 1I know Well, not you, but did you ever?
Speaker 2When I was in Oak Cliff. Growing up in Oak Cliff, it's a rough part of Dallas, so you had to be. Then you were tough yeah you had to be tough and I hated being tough. But you know, I know I'm tough because you know I came back from the dead.
Speaker 1Yeah, not many people can say that, nope.
Speaker 2So but but yeah, Do you ever feel that way about you and Mackackie? Are y'all dressed in the park because he, because he games a lot and hell.
Speaker 1No, I won't let. That kid is attached to me good I one time. We had a meeting one time and they were like talking about like we've been talking to mac about his plans after high school. If he wants to go to college, if he wants to get an apartment, blah, blah, blah and I go. Did he say he wants to live in college? If he wants to get an apartment, blah, blah, blah and I go? Did he say he wants to live in his mom's basement forever? Because that's what I want?
Speaker 1no one should want that yeah, I'm like okay, but you know, sometimes we'll see people like sleeping on the um, sleeping on the bus bench and and whatever. Or I'll see people at the gas station and I'll say like if you don't get your shit together, that's going to be you, it's going to be you. Or you see that guy, he's not crazy, that's math. That's what math will do to you. He's like mom, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2You know, it was funny when, I think Steve and I had gone with my ex, we had gone to Snoop Dogg Korn Lincoln Park concert and we were on the grass and there was this group in front of us. One of them had overdosed and she started convulsing and her friends just got up and left and he looked at Steven was like 12 or 13 at the time. He looked over to me and goes what's wrong with her? I said that's what happens whenever you're on drugs. He goes Uncle Robert, I'm never going to do drugs. So the paramedics came, they picked her up and, you know, wheeled her out. But I had to take advantage of that situation and that way he didn't do drugs. You know he doesn't. He doesn't do drugs, he, he rarely even drinks.
Speaker 2So yeah but uh, but yeah, he's, he's pretty good kid and and I'm pretty sure you know the way, the way I hear the podcast max max good kid too.
Speaker 1So he's got a. He has a good, kind heart, yeah, so that's really important to me. He has good manners, he knows where and when things are okay. So, yeah, I'm proud of him. Every time I go to conferences they always say you have such a kind son. He's always polite, he's always respectful, and that means the world to me, because I always want him to treat people well and be kind and know how to treat women and know how to have a healthy relationship.
Speaker 2So do you see him being like a good father?
Speaker 1You know we talk about if he wants to have kids and he doesn't know.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I really want to be a grandma someday. So he better, he better, and I say you can wait until you're 30. That's a great age, or wait until you're sure. Wait until you've been with somebody for a long time. Make sure that they're the one, because sometimes things are worth the wait.
Speaker 2Yeah, I tell my nieces all the time I go. This is it's not foolproof, but I go. You got to do it without asking. You have to observe the guy how he treats his mom and his sisters.
Speaker 1Don't ask the question.
Life After Loss and Finding Peace
Speaker 2Just see it If he treats his mom and his sisters with a lot of respect, then he's going to do the same to you, right? If he does, if you see him yelling at him, that's going to be you in about two years, yep. So, um, totally out of people's control too.
Speaker 1But I think that kids, males raised with all females or all sisters, tend to have more empathy.
Speaker 2Yeah. Yeah, I agree Because, like Sandra, she was on me about stuff like that and uh, I don't know. I just respected her a great deal as a parent, as a sister, so I never wanted to disappoint her.
Speaker 1When you died for a little bit, did she say you get your ass back down there, You're not done.
Speaker 2You know, whenever I woke up I didn't know what happened to me and my one of my brothers said hey, did you see dad, did you see Sandra? And I looked at him confused and my other brother was like you know. He was doing this with his hand over the over the neck.
Speaker 2So he asked me after, after I was able to like talk and stuff, he said do you do you know what happened? I go, I go, no. He says you died for seven minutes. And, um, did you see mom? I mean because it goes, did you see sandra? Or dad? I go, no. And I was. I felt like I was in a dream, like I had just fallen asleep, and I woke up and you don't remember anything.
Speaker 1I don't remember anything.
Speaker 2I'm like I steven, and I talked about this on the podcast and I actually broke down because I told him. I said, man, I man, I go. What, if you know that scares me, because you know people talk about seeing the light or whatever, or seeing heaven or something I go, I didn't see anything, I go. What does that mean? Does that mean that I'm not a good person, you know? And he says, he says no, I don't think of it that way, and what he told me just reassured me and I was really softened by that.
Speaker 2But he says what if grandma not grandma? He says grandpa and mom knew that if you saw whatever you were going to see, you wouldn't want to come back. True, and they made you forget it. So you can come back and I go, okay. And then I felt at ease after he told me me that I go, man, he's giving me wisdom and I'm supposed to be giving him wisdom, and so it's supposed to go both ways yeah, so um do you ever have like dreams now where it's like feels almost like a surreal experience, but didn't.
Speaker 1But you know, I didn't really happen.
Speaker 2I had dreams. I had dreams about my sister right after she passed and I would always see her For some reason. We were at an airport and she was on the upper level and there was no way to get to her. And I would tell her go, stay right there, stay right there. And I would run to an escalator 30 yards down and I would go up and I would run to the spot where she was at and she was gone. And I would always have that reoccurring dream, like right after she passed, and then my, my father, whenever he passed. He was, he was, he was.
Speaker 2He died in the hospital and my mom wanted to sue the hospital and she left. She put me in charge of all that and I was getting stressed about it. I was getting all the paperwork, trying to find a lawyer, and I had a dream that night that my dad walked up to me. I couldn't see his face but I knew it was him. He put his hand on my shoulder and he says let it go. And the next day I told my mom. I said I'm not going to pursue this because dad told me not to and she was so mad at me. She talked to me for like two months, but you know, that's the only thing I could. Hopefully I answered that question.
Speaker 1Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Well, do you have any other questions for me or anything else you want to talk about?
Speaker 2Well, do you have any other questions for me or anything else you want to talk about? I just wanted to. You know, like I've said this before, I think you're doing a great job with Mackie and I just think of you as such a good person and I know. You know like you and me we go through these times when you know it's kind of troubling and stuff like that.
Speaker 1I just want you to know that I'm always there for you.
Speaker 2I just wanted to tell you that I know, so um, I appreciate you nope, no problem, because I I don't know, I just gravitated toward you and your podcast and I you know it's just so weird because I heard your podcast and I saw it on Facebook and I just tuned in and I really liked it. And now I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1I know I feel like we have really developed a strong friendship, so it is crazy how life works out like that.
Speaker 2Yeah, and so I was listening to, like Sarah Bignall's Yowie Central podcast. I always listened to my friend matt, I listen to my my friend wes anderson, I listen to my other friend, uh, porch manners. But you know you're right at the top, so and I've told them that, I've told them that, that you know at the time that their podcast was on top, but I just heard yours more and I go, man, you know, to get me through the day I was, I was listening to your podcast.
Speaker 1So well, thank you. Well, now you're a guest co-host for a while.
Speaker 2Anytime you need me, anytime you need me yeah.
Speaker 1So we're going to do future episodes together, for sure.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1And in the meantime, where can everyone find you or hear your podcast?
Speaker 2You can find, or whatever you want to tell them. You can find our podcast on onourbestbehaviorcom, podcastcom, social media and the web blog. Right, you have a web blog.
Speaker 1I meant yours you silly yes okay, this is for you to promote yourself.
Speaker 2No, I'm good.
Speaker 1Well, you can find Bigfoot Bob at Bigfoot Club, wherever you listen to podcasts and on social media Facebook and Instagram. Bigfoot Club.
Speaker 2Yeah, we're even on Alexa. So if you say, Alexa play Bigfoot Club, it plays it Sweet. Yeah, too sweet.
Speaker 1My Alexa. I don't like her, so I just unplugged her Did you really. Because every time she makes a noise, my dogs go crazy.
Speaker 2Does it make weird noises?
Speaker 1Like if somebody's at the door, it will be like bloop, bloop, bloop. Really or if somebody drives their car by because it's on that geo-fence or whatever, or if there's an update, then the dogs just think someone's at the door. If that, if she chirps at all, they think someone's at the goddamn door.
Speaker 2No one's at the door. Hey, I wanted to thank you also for doing that. That soundbite for me.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, yeah, you're going to use it soon.
Speaker 2Yeah, Probably on our next episode we're going to. I was supposed to interview a moon girl tonight but she canceled on me because she was doing something else. So Steven and I are going to do an episode tomorrow on the Nazi bell, so have you heard of it?
Speaker 1aren't you doing like a cool witch lady?
Speaker 2yeah, the well the moon girl. We were supposed to do it tonight. She had some other things that she had to do. She's in the tarot cards. Yeah, she had some other things that she had to do, so she's in the tarot cards.
Speaker 1Yeah, and so we're going to interview her tonight, but next week we're interviewing Jocelyn.
Speaker 2She's got like over like 50 haunted dolls or something.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's creepy. So, that's like Annabelle yeah.
Speaker 2I think actually she went. She's from Tulsa and she drove down to San Antonio because Anna Annabelle was on a tour and so she drove down like I think two weeks ago and she showed pictures of her standing next to Annabelle.
Speaker 1So she was really like that'll be fun to listen, yeah.
Speaker 2I can't wait to ask her questions about that, so but but yeah, steven and I are doing an episode tomorrow on the Nazi bell.
Speaker 1Okay.
Random Thoughts With Kelly
Speaker 1Well we'll listen to that. Well, thank you for joining us for another episode of On Our Best Behavior and I promise I'll see you next week. Hey friends, quick update I'm adding a new little segment to the podcast called I don't know, random Thoughts, midnight Thoughts or Pet Peeves. With Kelly. It's exactly what it sounds like those late night brain spirals, random things I can't stop thinking about, or little everyday annoyances that just need to be said out loud, short, sweet and maybe a little unhinged, but always real. So stay tuned for these bite-sized moments sprinkled between our regular episodes.
Speaker 1Let's get weird. How come I have a queen bed all to myself, minus my two dogs that have to lay right on top of me so that I cannot move and I cannot be comfortable. Therefore I cannot sleep well at night. They're lucky, they're cute. Does anyone actually play Chumba Casino? Because they have so many commercials and their advertising budget must be huge. So if you actually play that game, send me a message and let me know. If One of my biggest pet peeves is when people who work somewhere think that they need to park up close to the building where clients or patients or customers are supposed to park, and I see that it's you, because you have a distinct bumper sticker on your car and I just feel like that's super lazy. Come on, people.
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