The Reluctant Heart

What happens when the dating pool shrinks but your standards don't? In this refreshingly candid conversation, Kelli welcomes special guest co-host Robert "Bigfoot Bob" Dominguez for an unfiltered look at dating in later life and the courage it takes to stay true to yourself while navigating romantic possibilities.

Robert shares his personal journey of remaining deliberately single while fielding well-intentioned matchmaking attempts from friends and family. He articulates something many of us feel but rarely admit: the desire to experience that unmistakable "bolt of lightning" connection rather than settling for comfortable companionship. His story about backing out of a date with his fourth-grade crush reveals the complexity of timing, chemistry, and knowing your own heart.

The conversation weaves through dating app hesitations, relationship red flags (speaking negatively about family members), and green flags (consideration for others) that signal compatibility. Robert's perspective has been profoundly shaped by his health challenges, giving him a unique appreciation for life's simple pleasures – from walking on gravel to taking showers independently – while making him thoughtfully selective about who he might share his life with.

What emerges is a powerful narrative about contentment, patience, and the underrated value of waiting for the right connection rather than forcing relationships that don't feel aligned. Robert's loyalty, self-awareness, and willingness to admit when he's wrong highlight qualities that make for lasting partnerships whenever the timing is right.

Whether you're actively dating, taking a break, or happily coupled, this episode offers wisdom about honoring your instincts and finding fulfillment regardless of relationship status. The question isn't just whether you've been together for decades – it's whether you still like each other after all that time.

Ready to rethink your approach to relationships? Subscribe, leave a review, and follow us on social media for more authentic conversations about navigating life's complexities with humor and heart.

MAGIC MIND CODE: BEST MAY

magicmind.com/oobb

Transcript

Introduction to dating when older

Speaker 1 0:01

Hey everyone, Welcome back to On Our Best Behavior. I'm your host, Kelly, and today we are diving into a topic that's equal parts hilarious, awkward and totally real Dating when you're older. Joining me today is a very special guest, co-host Robert Dominguez, also known as Bigfoot Bob. Why Bigfoot? Well, he's been spotted once or twice in the dating world, but no one's really sure if he's real or just a legend.

Speaker 2 0:30

Hey Kelly, thanks for having me on.

Speaker 1 0:32

Did you like that intro?

Speaker 2 0:34

I did. It was awesome. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 0:40

I like to surprise people with a good intro, so all right. So today we're going to talk about the joys and pains of putting yourself out there. I'm going to ask you about dating apps and just modern expectations and why sometimes it's just easier to stay home with your dog and DoorDash.

Speaker 2 0:59

Yes.

Speaker 1 1:00

You don't even have a dog.

Speaker 2 1:02

No, I don't, but I would rent one, but I would rent one.

Speaker 1 1:06

You would rent one Easier than dating right, yeah. Okay, so tell me right now, in regards to romantic relationships, what does this chapter of your life look like right now of your life?

Speaker 2 1:22

look like right now. You know it's really really tough. I know Stephen's wife, blair, wants me to date more than anything, probably more than I do.

Speaker 1 1:33

Okay, I was wondering if you had some pressure.

Speaker 2 1:36

Yeah, she pressures me a lot to do it and I was actually supposed to go on a date last Sunday, yeah, but I backed out of it. But anyway, uh, we'll.

Speaker 1 1:47

We'll get back to that, but yeah, I have a lot of questions about that.

Speaker 2 1:50

Uh, yeah, that it's, it's really it's. It's tougher as the older you get, because you know, I'm, I'm a lot older than you are. Like you know what, I don't care, I don't care. I kind of do that sometimes, but I I find it harder as you get older because, like you, I don't want to settle for anybody.

Speaker 2 2:12

Okay, so, that's, that's the biggest thing. I don't want to settle and I'm very, very patient, but at the same time I don't want to play games. I don't want to play games at all with anybody. Anybody that comes with like a game or something. Okay, I'm done. I'm done, I see you later. So it is. I think it is. It is tougher the older you get, cause I tell everybody that the older you get, the harder it is to like like to date. So, um, I don't know, I mean I don't know. It's just it's tough for me and I don't, I don't go looking for it or something, but it's tough to find people like you know, like, cause. The interest I have is Bigfoot and the paranormal. There's not that many women in Bigfoot, like, like to begin with. There's tons of girls in paranormal.

Speaker 1 2:58

Yeah.

Speaker 2 2:58

But, uh, I don't do a lot of paranormal stuff anymore and I've told you before, cause, like Steven and I, we don't. We don't do a lot of that stuff anymore. But we don't call ourselves researchers and where we call ourselves cryptic sports entertainers. So we, we, we kind of go that route now. So, you know, we've been invited to go do stuff, but you know, a lot of times we have to turn people down and say, well, We'll go and report what you're doing, but we can't be a part of that because that's just I don't know. I kind of see myself as the media. Now, Is that weird?

Speaker 1 3:30

No, I don't think so. But do you have an interest to still be a part of that? Or is that where the barrier is? Is you really just don't have the passion for?

Speaker 2 3:40

that side of it, If someone were to reach out to me and we got to get back to dating. But if someone were to reach out to me and ask me for help, I would help them If they don't have any other avenue, Because I've had people reach out to me recently and they don't have a way to talk to someone Like their family members don't believe them, or their local law enforcement doesn't believe them and stuff. So if they come to me, I will help them. I will, I will coach them through stuff.

Speaker 1 4:12

But it's hard to find people that in that field and to date, you know, it's just that's kind of what I was getting at Like maybe that would be a good gateway.

Speaker 2 4:18

It's really tough. So, uh, I don't know, I think when I was younger, I don't know, I think when I was younger, I was attracting, for some reason, older women. And then it was like older women were attracting.

Speaker 1 4:31

Oh, you liked those cougars.

Speaker 2 4:33

Well, I didn't date any of them because I just thought it was unprofessional to do that while you were helping people. So I don't know. I just didn't see it that way. But now it's harder to find the people you know, people like you know to date or something I don't know.

Speaker 1 4:50

Well, the dating pool is smaller right. And a lot of people have baggage, yep, and so that I think that makes it challenging because there's not as many fish in the sea and then you have to decide if you can put up with their baggage yeah, yeah, that's, that's very, very true.

Bigfoot and dating challenges

Speaker 2 5:12

So I'm I'm not on any dating apps at all so okay, I was gonna ask you that too, if you were no have you, have you ever I think I was back when, uh, the girl that I met, that steven, didn't like when we talked on on the last the bad, angela the bad, yeah I've met her on a date I can't remember which one it was, but I met her on there and we went on a couple dates and we just started hanging out and stuff. So, yeah, that was the last time I ever done it.

Speaker 1 5:41

So yeah, I feel like so. My friend Emily, she's like a serial singlist. She's been single for I don't think I've ever seen her like in a relationship. That's not long distance. So I'm always like, oh, let's do your dating app. Like this will be super fun, Like why wouldn't you want to do that? Like get on there, that's got to be so much fun. But I think the biggest problem with that is I've had some time to think about if I wanted to put myself on a dating app. And it's terrifying because you get so much creeps and so much ick and so much people who just want sex.

Speaker 2 6:21

Yeah.

Speaker 1 6:22

And when, especially when you're older. For myself, anyway, like I want stability and I want somebody who's established in their life and someone who has their shit together and somebody who's okay with 525 chickens. So that might not be easy to find, just like somebody who's into Bigfoot yeah.

Speaker 2 6:51

You know it's, it's just tough, I mean I was like I was saying earlier.

Speaker 1 6:53

I was supposed to go on a date last, yeah, but I I backed out. So tell me, what I want to know about that is how, how did that happen? How did you schedule a date?

Speaker 2 7:01

okay, this is. I really hope she doesn't listen to this.

Speaker 1 7:08

Chances are slim Chances are slim Cause she cause we.

Speaker 2 7:10

she wants to reschedule. Yeah, and it was on Father's Day, it was. You know, how do you?

Speaker 1 7:15

feel how? How do you feel about the reschedule? Are you open to it?

Speaker 2 7:20

I, I was. I was talked into it by several of my female friends. She didn't pressure me as much, but it was weird because, okay, I've known this girl since I was in elementary.

Speaker 1 7:35

Okay.

Speaker 2 7:36

And she was dating one of my friends. That was like the toughest guy in the whole school and she was like the prettiest girl in the whole school and I was like in fourth grade so she broke up with my best friend and you know, and then she, like, the following year she transferred to, like you know, some other school and she reached out to me whenever I was sick, whenever I was sick, and she went up to the hospital to see me and she was seeing Blair's post about whenever I was. I was getting better. So she showed up and she was really nice about it and she's still very, very, very pretty and a very, very nice person. It's just, you know, she reached out to me recently and she said that she was ever since we she we had met in fourth grade and she was in love with me.

Speaker 1 8:22

Oh, that's really great.

Speaker 2 8:24

Yeah, but I I didn't know how to take that. I go wow, okay well.

Speaker 1 8:28

Because you really liked her back then.

Speaker 2 8:34

Yeah, I liked her, but I knew she was going out with my friend Guys have guys.

Speaker 1 8:37

you know, this guy code Bros before hoes.

Speaker 2 8:42

I wasn't going to say that.

Speaker 1 8:43

I got you.

Speaker 2 8:46

So we don't date like your, your best friend's girl, we just don't do that, you don't double dip.

Speaker 2 8:51

No, no, okay. So and then she told me that she told me that she's always been in love with me. And I go, I didn't know, I didn't know how to take it. I go, wow, I wish I'd have known it back then. But she's a really good person and she's really sweet and she's really, really pretty. But I don't know, this is really dumb of me. I know, whenever I say this, some of my friends will say, well, that's really dumb, but I wasn't feeling it. And when I go out with somebody or I want to feel, want to, I want to feel nervous, I want to get my you know, my palms sweaty Right, and I want to feel like I've been hit by, you know, like a bolt of lightning, and I just didn't feel it and I think I think she deserves better. I think she deserves somebody that will give her equal attention, and I don't know if I could give it to her right now. I don't know. Hopefully your listeners are not going to send you bad emails.

Speaker 1 9:53

No, I think that's fair. But, my question is like okay, so you had feelings for her a long long time ago? Do you think that maybe seeing her, I mean, I think you should give it a chance, because maybe there is some chemistry that could kind of get picked back up that you kind of forgot. That's there, right, or it could ignite your spark.

Speaker 2 10:13

Or I could go out, like on this date, and if I don't feel it, then we can just, you know, stay friends and be cool.

Speaker 1 10:21

And then you'll know right, you won't wonder.

Speaker 2 10:24

Yeah, I think I know, but I think most, mostly, I think you're probably like the fifth female friend of mine who's told me you should go and just see if it's there.

Speaker 1 10:37

And if it isn't, then it's not there. And I have one friend Do you feel like you're ever going to have like the spark to want to date somebody, or do you feel like there's just nothing there for you right now?

Speaker 2 10:50

No, I, I, I want to say, I want to say there is Um, but I, I don't know. Uh, if it's, I don't, I mean I, I want to like really bad, like, cause, like, whenever I was going through physical therapy, one of the guys that was doing physical therapy on me I was just joking with him he says he, he, he, he comes to me and goes what's your goal, you know? And I told the other guy that I wanted to walk and so I told this other physical therapist I go, I want to get married. And he goes okay, let's work on that, let's get you up and walking so you can walk down the aisle and get married.

Speaker 2 11:27

Oh, what a bad story I just told him that Because I told the other physical therapist I said I want to walk. And he goes okay, let's work on that. So this other guy comes to me and goes what's your goal? I want to get married. So I was kind of told the boys want me to get married. So. So I've kind of told like the boys want me to get married too. And when they were really little I said I used to say to them I go, um, cause I wasn't living with Steven at the time, I was just going there on the weekends and I said I go, I wish I can be with y'all. He goes you can, you can just move in with us. That's what the boys say. And I go. I said, but what if I have to go to work?

Speaker 1 12:08

I go go to mommy and daddy's job.

Speaker 2 12:10

And I go. What if I want to get married? Get married on the sidewalk, that's what they would tell me. Get married on the sidewalk, they got you taken care of.

Speaker 1 12:18

They're like, hey, whatever you need, Uncle Robert, we got you.

Speaker 2 12:21

Yeah. So I asked Sebastian because I'm watching a girl wrestler. He goes hey, uncle Robert, do you like her? I go. Yeah, I go, I really do. He goes, maybe you can get married on the sidewalk with her. Oh, maybe. So cute. So that's how they think now. So get married on the sidewalk.

Speaker 1 12:42

I love that. I hope one of them gets married on the sidewalk someday.

Speaker 2 12:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's. I don't know, it's just um. So I think I think you're like the fifth friend of mine that said go on a date with her. I have one female friend, uh, lindsay.

Speaker 2 12:58

She told me he goes if you're not feeling, feeling it, don't do it. You have to be in the right it's just like this podcast, right like you have to be in the right mood and in the right mindset, otherwise it's not fair to either one of you, right? Yeah, I kind of think that because she's she's a really she's a really really good lady and I think she deserves somebody that's going to give her a lot of attention. And I'm not sure if I'm that person so I just don't.

Speaker 1 13:23

so that's what I don't understand. So, as a girl, I know that men and women think so much differently. So, as a girl, I don't understand how I don't even know how to really say this but like. I'm trying to get my words together. So have you? So when you guys started talking and she reached out to you, did you ever feel like, oh, maybe I could date this girl, or has that never been there?

Speaker 2 13:49

I don't think it's ever been there. To be honest with you, I, I, I thought she was really beautiful and like fourth grade.

Speaker 1 13:56

And what changed? What changed for you that you are feeling it? I don't know.

Speaker 2 14:01

I guess, getting sick and then getting better, and then my whole perspective on a lot of things changed. I used to be very passionate about comics and I'm not anymore and so I used to be passionate about the Cowboys and the Mavericks and the Dallas Stars and I used to bid my will. Whenever they won, I was in a good mood, and when they weren't, I was in a bad mood. Now I don't even care. I don't care about that, I go whatever. I just want to experience life and be happy.

The almost date and lightning bolt feelings

Speaker 1 14:34

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Speaker 2 15:24

It should and I don't know why it's not so. It kind of in a way, I guess it kind of bugs me a little bit that I don't feel as passionate about it. You know, I think I will. I don't know when You're just not there yet. Yeah, it may not be today or tomorrow or next week, but I think, maybe I don't know, because you must feel like you're fulfilled.

Speaker 1 15:49

Yeah, I mean, you're not lacking anything that you're really searching for that.

Speaker 2 15:55

Yeah, I think you're right. I've. I told steven, like I've told steven a bunch of times. I said I don't know why I came back, I don't know why he brought me back, but whenever I do see it I'll know. Yeah, I don't know when it is, or whatever the situation is. I think I'll know. So I don't know. That's just how I feel about it.

Speaker 1 16:18

So, so you're not really putting yourself out there. You're not doing dating apps You're not doing, you're not going out and mingling. So it's just kind of like if it falls in your lap, it's meant to be.

Speaker 2 16:29

You know I've gone out. I've gone out with friends. You know I've gone out with like a couple of ex coworkers and I've hung out with them and and just went, you know, to go have dinner and stuff like that. But you know I wasn't wasn't really looking for it, so I wasn't trying to get hooked up with anybody or I don't know. It sounds weird.

Speaker 1 16:49

Well, I admire that because, as a woman, there's just like I had said earlier, like it's so hard to weed out all the creeps. Yeah, I mean guys are creepier than girls.

Speaker 2 17:04

Yeah, they can.

Speaker 1 17:05

Do you agree?

Speaker 2 17:06

Yeah, Cause like if for example, I always tell them like you know, you know all my nieces, this I go. If a guy looks up, you know he looks from your feet all the way up, just up and down, then watch out, because that's kind of creepy it is yeah, it's almost like they're looking at you like a buffet or something. Yeah, I don't want to be no buffet, but I don't know the last serious girlfriend I had was, you know, the policeman or the police woman, the? Good Angela. No, that's, uh, Elaine.

Speaker 1 17:41

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 17:42

Yeah, so she, uh, she was she was yeah, eileen, there you go.

Speaker 1 17:47

You remembered man I do remember you were good. Yeah, I pay attention. I'm a girl, I pay attention.

Speaker 2 17:53

But she's like, she was a like, like a super, super independent woman and I think I was attracted to that. So I don't know. So she was strong and she was very opinionated about stuff and I really dig that. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 18:10

But she was too independent for you because she couldn't handle being number two to Steven.

Speaker 2 18:17

No, no, no, that was the bad Angela. Oh no, that was the bad Angela.

Speaker 1 18:19

Oh, okay, that was the bad.

Speaker 2 18:20

Angela Eileen loves Steven, but she worked too much.

Speaker 1 18:24

She put her job first. Yes, yeah, that's what it was she wouldn't show up because she got stuck working.

Speaker 2 18:29

Yeah.

Speaker 1 18:30

So that was too independent for you at that time in your life.

Speaker 2 18:34

Yeah, I really think I needed more of her. So I think it was. It was really tough to get her to open up and talk about stuff. It was like like pulling teeth, you know, kind of like, kind of like I'm talking to a man, you know, I'm fine, I'm fine, no you're okay, you know stuff like that.

Speaker 1 18:53

No, yes, no, yes, no.

Speaker 2 18:55

Yeah, so it was pretty tough and I needed more and I didn't get it, so I left.

Speaker 1 19:02

Do you know if she is she in a relationship now?

Speaker 2 19:05

You know, I don't, I don't ask that question, I don't really know.

Speaker 1 19:10

You don't creep on her social media.

Speaker 2 19:12

She's not on Facebook, she's never believed in Facebook, and I don't still talk to her son, but I don't, I don't, uh, I don't ask about her.

Speaker 1 19:23

So yeah, and he doesn't bring it up like hey, okay, he knows me, he knows me really well.

Speaker 2 19:26

So I think one time he asked me one time about it, I said hey, dude, that's between me and your mom, so we laid down some boundaries so, so, but he's a really good kid.

Speaker 1 19:36

I wish, I wish he was my kid, but he's not oh you're so sweet yeah, he's taking on everyone's kid, I have to look at my doorbell because my dog is going crazy and I'm like you got food coming, I'm out there.

Speaker 2 19:50

No remember, I made dinner but um, you got dessert coming it's just a family, just a family walking by, so get this story.

Speaker 1 19:57

So my neighbor texted me yesterday and she said this is is totally off topic. But she said it's a good story. But she says, hey, somebody's about to knock on your door, don't answer it. And I was kind of like I never answer my door anyway, unless I am expecting somebody or I know who's out there.

Speaker 2 20:13

Right.

Speaker 1 20:13

And that's why I love my ring doorbell, because you don't have to like peek, you can just look on the camera. And so I'm like okay, and then I heard like literally 30 seconds later, someone's like banging on the door and my dog is very vicious pit bull and he seems very scary, so I like that and he's like barking. Hey, what happened that? You told me not to answer the door and she said that the same person was knocking on her door. They didn't answer and the guy tried to open the door and come in and she said usually the door is locked, but Logan, who's Mackie's buddy, had left out that door and of course his mom and dad were home. So he didn't lock the door. And I said well, what did you do when he tried to come in? And she said that she just like hurried up and shut and locked the door and then her husband went out there and was like you need to leave or I'm calling the cops.

Speaker 2 21:06

Wow.

Speaker 1 21:21

But like we just had this really big thing happen about two weeks ago here in like our community, where this guy kind of went.

Speaker 2 21:23

Short long story, short kind of went.

Speaker 1 21:24

AWOL, had this list of like 70 people that he wanted to kill like politician people Did? You see it here, and he dressed up like a cop and knocked on people's doors in the middle of the night, looked like a cop and then was killing them.

Speaker 1 21:33

But there's a couple of survivors that are at like the hospital that I work at right now that had like seven or eight close range close range gunshot wounds that lived, so like the hospital was on lockdown for a long time where I work and stuff, but anyway. So it's super crazy. So we're like nobody answer your door at all.

Speaker 2 21:53

Yeah.

Speaker 1 21:54

Even if I see it's a cop at my door, I'm calling 911 and asking why they're there. I'm not answering my door.

Speaker 2 22:00

I don't blame you. I don't blame you at all.

Speaker 1 22:01

There's no reason for anyone to be at my door.

Speaker 2 22:04

No, and I love that you and your neighbors are close enough where she can warn you.

Speaker 1 22:10

Yeah, we look out for each other, for sure.

Speaker 2 22:12

That's awesome. I love that I've been no, just kidding. I love that I've been no, just kidding.

Speaker 1 22:16

Back to dating. On that note, meet people on the internet, but don't open your door.

Speaker 2 22:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. I think I was asking my new boss I think he's been married like 40-something years and I told him I go, how long you been married? He goes, oh, 40 years. But I've known her like 47. I said, man, I think if I put all my girlfriends together it wouldn't even make 47 months. He was, he was laughing Cause he asked me the other day. He asked me cause, like he always, like for some reason, he he shows me what his wife makes him for lunch and dinner. He'll show me a picture of it and it's so good. I go. Why didn't she just make a YouTube? Because I've told her that but she won't do it. He shows me every day what his wife made for dinner and stuff. He goes are you seeing anybody? And I looked at him for a long time. He goes. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked go. No, that's fine. I mean I.

Speaker 1 23:21

I love that you're asking me a personal question was he loaning his wife out to you?

Speaker 2 23:25

no, no, no, I think he was just wondering if I, because I think he cared about me and I think he oh, does someone make your lunch for you too? Yeah, yeah, or just like or just have conversation about you know, your, your other, your other partner and stuff. So I told him I go. No, I'm actually I'm single. He goes, I'm so sorry. I go. No, no, it's fine, I was wasn't offended by it I'm single by choice, buddy, yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 23:52

So I don't know, I think I kind of like it, you know, I think, uh, my other I have. I have, like, like you know, the, the boys that I see all the time, and I have another set of twins that I go see. They're 14, but they don't. They don't want me to date anybody because they think if I date somebody I'm not going to have time for them.

Speaker 1 24:13

They don't know you well because that's not like you at all.

Speaker 2 24:15

I know it's not your character. Because I was telling them I was going on a date and they go oh no, you can't go on this date. No, you need to call her and tell her you're not going to go. And you know, I ended up not going because number one, I didn't feel it and it was on Father's Day.

Speaker 1 24:32

So I go no, I'm not going to do it. Bad time for a date yeah. So tell me, I want to know red flag for you First date red flag. Or talking to somebody before you even go on a first date red flag.

Speaker 2 24:44

Red flag. Hold on. Let me see here. You know, I think if they talk bad about their family, you know, like their mom and their dad or their siblings or whatever, that's usually a bad sign. That's usually. That's probably. That would probably be me in like two months. They're going to be arguing with me about something and talking bad about me, or something.

Speaker 1 25:07

Well, yeah, I see what you're saying. At first I was like what, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Red flags and green flags in dating

Speaker 2 25:10

I think, I think, I think that's a red flag, because if, if you talk bad about your siblings, you know they're going to talk bad about you too, or just argue with you or just not have good character what's? A deal breaker, deal breaker would be.

Speaker 1 25:34

They didn't like Bigfoot. That's a good one. You know, I like that a lot about how about you? Red flag for me is I was gonna deal breaker for me. I was gonna say what I was gonna say is a deal breaker, not a red flag smoker yeah drinker yes um. Red flag for me. Somebody who talks negative about past relationships, current, like you said, current people, co-workers, people in their lives, like just have a lot of negativity, is a big red flag for me. Green flag for you green flag.

Speaker 2 26:20

Um, I'd probably uh a very like bigfoot yeah, that, that bigfoot's one wrestling's two.

Speaker 2 26:30

Oh yeah being very considerate. I I really like. I like I don't know why I'm just really attracted to people that are considerate and uh, so it shows, it shows character to me. I think it shows character, shows, uh, that they're, that they're just an all-around good person and I don't know. I just really, really like it. There's a co-worker of mine or an ex-co-worker of mine. She's probably the most considered person I've ever met and, uh, she's such a sweet person. If she was single I would, I would ask her out big time, but but she's not so uh, but uh, I said so, here we are I know yeah yeah, square one she, she's.

Speaker 2 27:15

I mean, she's the type of person that would go and like, decorate like your cube for like birthdays and stuff like that anniversaries, birthdays, stuff like that, and she's just a. She's just a great person. You know she, she makes actually, she makes all my, all my um, merch stuff oh really yeah, she did the, the mouse pads and all that stuff mackie, I took a really good picture of the merch that you sent me the sidebar right here and Mackie was really excited.

Speaker 1 27:43

He goes how come there's two mouse pads? And I go well, if you want them, you can put them together and make a really big mouse pad for your game. And he's like, yeah, I want to do that. So he was so excited.

Speaker 2 27:56

Did he really? Yes, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 28:01

Because he wants a really long one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I had ordered him one on Etsy, but then the guy never shipped it, so it was a big nightmare.

Speaker 2 28:06

But anyway, well, it's good that I stepped up for that.

Speaker 1 28:10

Yeah, no, he loved it.

Speaker 2 28:11

Good, good, good good.

Speaker 1 28:14

What is a quality in yourself that a partner would be appreciative of?

Speaker 2 28:19

I'm very loyal, I'm super loyal me too.

Speaker 1 28:22

I'm that way too, like even in my friends I'm like do we love them or do we hate them?

Speaker 2 28:26

like I just need to know. Yeah, I always say I said, do I need a super kick him or what super kick candidate or no super kick candidate if you love him?

Speaker 1 28:35

I love him. If you hate him, I hate him like ride or die.

Speaker 2 28:38

Yeah, I'm very loyal because I just think, you know, I hear all these stories about people cheating and stuff. I said, man, if I'm going to do this much work to be with somebody, I'm going to be with them, and it just boggles my mind how people cheat and I go. Come on.

Speaker 1 29:00

Okay, i'm'm gonna play devil's advocate for you on this. So what if you are married, okay, and you are having a lot of marital problems and I'm not saying this is right, I'm just playing devil's advocate, right and let's say your partner has a gambling problem or a drinking problem or a drug problem or abuses you and you start seeking something more outside of that, because it's hard to just leave a relationship yeah, so. So you're asking me if that's okay well, I I'm just saying do you think there's exceptions?

Speaker 2 29:43

Yeah, there's always exceptions to stuff like that. It's not black and white all the way, it's just. You know, I think there's certain situations and certain people and certain characteristics, because this person, this scenario, wants to stay loyal, but still it doesn't like the way they're being treated and they're trying to seek out stuff, I think it's okay.

Speaker 1 30:12

Well then, I don't think you're trying to be loyal anymore at that point if you're starting to seek something else out.

Loyalty and relationship challenges

Speaker 2 30:16

Well, yeah, you're right, but I think there's certain situations, Because whenever I was dating the bad Angela, Eileen came back in my life and Eileen and I we didn't do anything physical at all, we were just talking. And Eileen and I we didn't do anything physical at all, we were just talking and I decided that I didn't want to be with the bad Angela anymore and I just told her. I said I don't want to be with you anymore and she got very angry and then we broke up and then I got back with Eileen.

Speaker 1 30:51

Because you were already having an emotional connection.

Speaker 2 30:54

Yeah.

Speaker 1 30:55

See, I think that happens.

Speaker 2 30:57

Yeah, so I think hopefully I've answered your question. So I think certain scenarios it's acceptable and sometimes it's not. Would I do it? I don't know if I would.

Speaker 1 31:10

I mean, that's just me, because if I'm not, Don't you think the goal is to find a partner who, if you're having a problem with something, you guys can work it out together?

Speaker 2 31:22

Right.

Speaker 1 31:23

And not let it get to that point.

Speaker 2 31:25

Right, right, yeah To to work it out, cause I think you know the one, the one, the other quality that I have and I'll say this, I never brag about myself is that I, that I will admit I'm wrong about something. I will always do that and I would just say look, it's my fault, I'm sorry, I'll do better. Blah, blah, blah, and I've always done that. So I think, if I was in that scenario, that I would try to help it or try to fix it some way, and if I can't, if they're not willing to do it, then there's not much I can do.

Speaker 1 31:58

That's the hard part is if you're not both, if you don't both have that um good quality, then it can be a struggle.

Speaker 2 32:07

Yeah, so I think it's um, you know the the ultimate goal is to be happy and the ultimate goal, I think, if I was in a relationship with somebody, I used to always tell I think I told like the bad, angela, I go. If you're not happy, you need to go because I don't want you to be with me. I don't want to be Florence Nightingale. I don't know if you know that reference. No, I don't. It was like in. I think it was World War I or World War II. It was a. It was like in I think it was a war one or war two. It was a nurse by the name of Florence Nightingale and it was, uh, I think it was a pilot that had got shot down. He was burned and then, uh, she felt sorry for him. So she married him cause she felt sorry she wasn't in love with him.

Speaker 1 32:47

She just felt sorry for him.

Speaker 2 32:49

So I, I refuse to be Florence Nightingale. So if people don't want to be with me, I don't want them with me. Just go and be happy with someone else, because I think that's the worst to be with somebody.

Speaker 1 33:01

I think another hard part about relationships is that people stop putting in the effort, and you have to constantly put in the effort for a good relationship to thrive. This is something else I was going to ask you. When you were saying that your boss was asked, he was saying he'd been married for 40 years or whatever. Whenever people tell me like oh, it's my wedding anniversary 20 years, 25 years, I'm like do you still love each other? I always ask that because-.

Speaker 2 33:27

I love that.

Speaker 1 33:28

Do you still like each other? Because there's so many people who are in really long relationships that are just like they've been there so long. They just hang out.

Speaker 2 33:35

Yeah, I want to. I, I, I believe in fairy tales and I, I, I want to be in that. I want to be in that so bad, because, like, when I was younger I wanted to have kids so bad, and I didn't get to. You know, I didn't get that chance. So I think I would want to be in a relationship where I just love them forever. I mean, I know that's such a cliche to say that, but really that's what I thrive for or want, and that's why I kind of don't want to go on this date, because I'm not feeling it, because I want to feel like I got hit by a bolt of lightning. So that's what I want and it's not there. And she's such a good girl, I really love her. I just want the best for her. I don't know if I'm it.

Speaker 1 34:26

And maybe the time is just off, and maybe it is just not meant to be.

Speaker 2 34:30

It's timing. Timing is everything. So I think I've met lots of girls bad timing and it just never worked out. So I don't know. I think I, I think God has me exactly where he wants me to be, so to be in certain people's lives, You've been really good about that, about just being content. Yeah.

Speaker 1 34:51

And good and happy and optimistic.

Speaker 2 34:54

Yeah, you know, I think you know whenever you know, whenever you can't feed yourself or whenever you can't walk, you kind of appreciate a lot of stuff and I appreciate a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1 35:06

Effective yeah.

Speaker 2 35:07

And you know, just like walking on gravel. I mean that to me. I find that glorious, I love it. Walking on the beach, I love it. You know the beach, I love it, you know just stuff like that. Or just taking a shower by yourself.

Speaker 1 35:22

The things that you take for granted every day. I'll tell people sometimes that have like a, you know they're in like a walking boot, or you know they broke their leg. It's like you don't realize how much you depend on that body part until you can't use it anymore.

Speaker 2 35:46

Man, I would love to go to your hospital and talk to anybody, about being like getting the willpower back to do something or just wanting to motivate people. I would love to do that because I've told the hospital where I came from. I said anytime you want me to talk to someone, just call me. I go up there and talk to them.

Speaker 1 36:03

Watching was off the charts and like to be able to be like I saw the Rock wrestle like that's badass.

Speaker 2 36:10

Is this your uncle from Florida? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, okay, okay, um, so is the rock, your your celebrity crush no, I don't really have one you know, boring, I know not one person or actor or no, like I don't know.

Speaker 1 36:28

I don't know if it's like my age or just where I am in my life, but I just like don't have the oomph yeah every once in a while, like like I'll get. Like sometimes I'll say and you know what, I'm not going to edit this part out, robert but I'll say like, oh, that thing in my vagina just happened, and that's like where you get like the zing and the tingles and I'm like I don't know where that came from. Must be ovulating, because that was not on my radar.

Speaker 2 36:54

gotta say who is that who is that?

Speaker 1 36:57

but let me tell you, the last time that happened was a long time ago, when travis kelsey was like just getting like on the map before he was dating taylor swift yeah and like they would show him like out on the field and I was like whoa, who is that guy? But now like his hair is weird and his stash is weird and don't you listen, you can have him taylor.

Speaker 1 37:18

Um, sometimes I'll fall asleep to it because, only because I wanted to hear him talk about taylor. So like I was trying to like, fast forward, to get to like the taylor parts, because I do like taylor swift yeah um, but I was really disappointed. I listened to one of their recent episodes and I got really pissy because they were nominated for like kids choice award best podcast and I'm like this is not a kid's podcast it's not kid friendly it is not kid friendly.

Speaker 1 37:46

They say fuck more than I do like. How is no? No, you can like the best sports podcast, but you are not kid friendly I like it. I like it whenever you cuss well, I do a lot I think, I do, I think a lot everywhere like I never really filter myself down, so I get the wide eye a lot like whoa you know, I think I've texted you that a couple times.

Speaker 1 38:10

I like, because I'm I'm like, I'm like driving, listen to your podcast and you're cussing, I go I like when other people cuss and I just feel like it's the way of the world, like it's pretty normalized now. I mean, I hear a lot of people at work, like when people are talking to me, like not my coworkers but patients like they'll say the word pussy, they, they say they use all these crazy words that I have to hear, you know and they'll you know, and I just okay.

Speaker 1 38:44

There's some words I don't use, like I don't use the P word in reference to vagina, I just don't like it.

Speaker 2 38:47

It's fine If you're calling someone like a wuss, that's fine.

Speaker 1 38:49

Um, I also don't use the C word. I think that's really too far, but a lot of people use it Like it's.

Speaker 2 38:57

you know the word, the good for them those aren't on my radar but fucking shit always, always going to be on the radar I think I think I've heard you say that on your on your podcast before the p word yeah because don't say the c word the c word yeah no we don't say the c word mom, I'm not going to tell you that I know.

Speaker 1 39:15

He's like what's so bad about the c word? I'm like do you know what it means? And he's like no, and I'm like well, it's the most derogatory word for a vagina when it is on its period.

Speaker 2 39:26

And he's like yeah, what, why did?

Speaker 1 39:30

you tell me that and I'm like because you asked you can't use the word enough. He's been better. He's been with his summer break. He's been a little sleeping all day, up all night.

Finding contentment and life appreciation

Speaker 1 39:46

And so we've been trying to kind of rearrange his sleep schedule to be back to a normal person. And yesterday was Sunday and I woke him up and I said hey, it's really early, I know it's only 830 in the morning, but I need to clean the house and go to the grocery store and if you could get up and help me, I can get it done so much faster. And he did and it was great. And then he even drove me to the grocery store and drove me to all the places I needed to go, and now he can almost take his license test because I think he only has three hours left.

Speaker 2 40:15

Nice.

Speaker 1 40:16

Yeah, that makes me so happy. And he was like telling me mom, I know I've really been annoying you and I'm really working hard on not being like that. I go yeah, you're I go. You're Mac annoying me.

Speaker 2 40:29

Cause I think I think I've texted you before. I said how's Mac sauce and you go annoying me.

Speaker 1 40:34

He's annoying me Sometimes. I'm just like, well, even like tonight, we're eating dinner and he's like mom, can I have seconds? And I'm like, yeah, of course, you have as much as you want to. And he's in the bathroom, he's in the kitchen making his plate and I'm eating dinner in the living room because we're watching prison break, you know. And he's in the kitchen. He's like I'm like McCoy, why are you making barf noises? I'm trying to eat and he goes. Well, mom, I like the way it sounds and I go. Well, I don't.

Speaker 2 41:00

I like the way it sounds.

Speaker 1 41:04

It's not cute.

Speaker 2 41:06

You know, I think whenever Stephen was younger and he gave me an answer I didn't like, like, I would say I go hey, did you do your homework? He says, well, my friends came. Friends came over, and if I didn't like it and he knew I didn't like it I would say the same thing over, I go. My friends came over. And he would go okay, you don't like that. Okay. So so now, whenever his boys do that to you know, say something to me. I say it back to them and they go okay, uncle Robert, you don't like that. That's what I always do. I used to do to him all the time, stephen, and he hears me saying it to his boys. Now he goes okay, I do remember that.

Speaker 1 41:43

I'll do that to Mac too, and he'll be like, okay, okay, okay, okay, because I'll keep doing, okay, yeah yeah, yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot, isn't it.

Speaker 2 41:55

Yeah, so I really enjoyed your last episode With Emily.

Speaker 1 42:00

Yes, yeah, she's fun. She's been my best friend for a million like 17 years, maybe A long time.

Speaker 2 42:05

Yeah, it's not like I had a really, really good time talking.

Speaker 1 42:08

Yeah, yeah, we do, we do.

Speaker 1 42:11

We had met, so there's three of us best girlfriends me, Emily and Jen and Jen used to live close by us, but she moved like 40 minutes, 35, 40 minutes away, which isn't terrible, but we just don't see her as often and anyway, her mom still lives close to us and so a lot of times her mom and her mom's friend, they're widows and they're like 70, but they'll go to this local bar by our house and a lot of times it's like, you know, like it was like tap takeover last weekend and so, or last thursday when and then so emily and I met them up there, went to tap takeover and we're like what's tap takeover? And they're like, oh, you know, it's just like a a vendor comes in and they have a bunch of free swag and so whatever they had like t-shirts and hats and and whatever and so we had gone up there and then mac and his mac had texted me and he's like where you at?

Speaker 1 43:03

and so I'm like, oh, we're up at the boulevard. And so him and his friend came and they had been at mcdonald's, which is like across the street from there, and uh, he came in and everyone was laughing at him because he had like put a bunch of his leftover chicken nuggets in his pocket and then he would just randomly pull one out and eat it. And people were like what are you eating? Where did you get that? He's like McNugget. Oh my God, child.

Speaker 2 43:24

That's him.

Speaker 1 43:25

That's not mine, he does not belong to me. I don't know whose child that is, but he can't be in here.

Speaker 2 43:31

Put nuggets in his pocket.

Speaker 1 43:33

I was like where did you get that he's like out of my pocket. I'm like, oh my god. And then he had them all loaded in his pockets with nuggets.

Speaker 2 43:40

That's like a poliodonamite putting tots in his pocket. Give me some tots.

Speaker 1 43:49

Give me some tots. And then what does he say to the llama? No, tina, these are my tots, can't remember how that goes, but it's funny.

Speaker 2 43:58

Yeah, actually the boys love that movie too.

Speaker 1 44:01

It is good I haven't watched it in a long time. It is a good one.

Speaker 2 44:04

It's kid-friendly.

Speaker 1 44:05

It is kid-friendly, Super kid-friendly. You know what? In nowadays generation and world? It's kid-friendly because there's a lot worse shit going on.

Speaker 2 44:14

Yeah.

Speaker 1 44:16

Alright, you ready to wrap this up?

Speaker 2 44:19

I am.

Speaker 1 44:20

Thank you for listening to another episode of Honor Best Behavior. Thank you, robert, for being my special guest co-host, and more to come. I jotted down some ideas on some topics that I have for the future, because I'm always like, hey Robert, what should we talk about? I'm usually driving. Hey Robert, what should we talk?

Speaker 2 44:37

about. I'm usually driving whenever you ask me that too, and I'm like don't text and drive. No, I don't Focus, I stop, I stop.

Speaker 1 44:44

Do you ever text me and it's like hi, kelly is driving. She can't return your text right now because I'm that person who has that on my phone.

Speaker 2 44:54

No, I actually stop Because I stop and I text Because that's just how I am too. I got to be safe, Safe yeah.

Speaker 1 45:03

You almost died once. You can't. That only gives you so many chances.

Speaker 2 45:06

Right, right, right. I'm not a cat.

Speaker 1 45:09

I was just talking about, like I was saying something today about when I was going to my brother's house, like my thing today about when I was going to my brother's house, like my GPS took me a weird way because I was just saying like the fastest way.

Speaker 1 45:20

And then it took me a really weird way that I had never gone before. And I'm like, and I was like saying like, oh, it's God's plan, because I probably like missed a bad car accident, or like, if I'm late, like one day last week Mackie unplugged my coffee pot, so then it didn't automatically make my coffee, so then I had to sit there and wait for it to make my coffee and I'm like, oh, it's God's plan, he's making me avoid something. So I always say that. And so somebody was like so you're using God as a scapegoat for your forgetfulness and being late? I'm like, no, I am grateful for God's plans. He's saving my life.

Speaker 2 45:52

I love that. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 45:55

And I'd rather be late than never show up.

Speaker 2 45:58

Because that's what I tell people whenever I got sick. So my mom was. So I think I told you my mom was so mad at the hospital, yeah, and she wanted to sue them and I said no, what if God pulled me out of the street for a reason to humble me and to put me in his spot?

Speaker 1 46:15

He bitch slapped you.

Speaker 2 46:16

He did Get slapped you together. Dominguez.

Speaker 1 46:19

Dominguez, wake up so so, yeah, all right, well, I'm going to let you go, okay, and I'll cut that part out, I promise.

Speaker 2 46:30

Can I, can I, can I plug the podcast?

Speaker 1 46:32

Of course, yeah, okay, the podcast.

Speaker 2 46:33

Of course, yeah, okay, so if you want to listen to my podcast, or the podcast, it's On Our Best Behavior I thought you were going to plug the Bigfoot Club?

Speaker 1 46:45

No, you already have 10,000 listeners, you don't?

Speaker 2 46:47

need anymore, so I just want to plug yours.

Speaker 1 46:51

Okay, well, thank you. Follow us on social media. I'm going to post some sweet merch pics that Robert sent me, and I'm trying to post more pictures, so it's going to be worth your while to hit that follow button. Like follow, share, subscribe five star review five star review. Alright, robert, you don't have to go anywhere, but I'm going to hit stop on the recording.