Ep. 123 | One More Child | ft. Chip Parker, Valerie Sanchez and Sherrie Steadman

In today's episode, Astin Kahnk is joined by Pastor Chip Parker, as well as Valerie Sanchez and Sherrie Steadman with One More Child for a conversation about foster awareness. Listen in as they share what they do, discuss the need for foster families in our community, and provide ways that we can get involved and support children in foster care.

References:

One More Child

Isaiah 117 House

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Isaiah 117 says in a short cap is do good, seek justice, but take care of the widows and the orphans. And so that's what God has commissioned us with is to take care of these orphans.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

And so I think it truly is just such a humbling call of, okay, God, I trust that you know where this child is going and that you will protect them. Yeah. And bottom line, God knows what's gonna happen. Yeah. And I think truly our responsibility as a foster parent is to give that child the space to heal.

SPEAKER_03 0:29

That is your job, is to love them. Yeah. But we have to just trust that God knows where their next steps are and that while we have them, that we do enough.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Welcome to Let's Talk About That, the podcast where we deep dive into Sunday's message and explore your questions. I'm your host, Aston Kenk, and I'm excited to share this journey with you. Whether you're a longtime member of the Orchard or a first-time visitor, Let's Talk About That is your space to explore, reflect, and connect. Join us as we navigate the intricacies of faith, spirituality, and daily life, seeking to understand how the wisdom shared on Sundays can be applied to our modern challenges. So, grab a cup of coffee, find a comfortable space, and let's dive in together. This is Let's Talk About That, where the conversation about Sunday's message never stops. Well, welcome back to Let's Talk About That. The month of May is Foster Awareness Month, and Chip and I are sitting across from two ladies that are here to talk with us about that. Valerie and Sherry. Welcome. We're so glad you guys are here today.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Yeah. So why don't you tell our listeners just who you are and what you do?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah. So my name is Valerie. I am the supervisor for our area for One More Child's foster care program. Some of us or some people may know us as the Florida Baptist Children's Home. We're the same people. Okay, great. Same people. I have this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

If your birth date starts with a 19, it's the Florida Baptist Children's Home. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Gotcha. Okay. Right. That's me. And it cuts to the dinosaurs. That's right. And so we have been around for a very long time. This is kind of our area of expertise. We've done everything from adoption to group care to orphanages. You know, as the years have gone by, we've transitioned obviously into the model of foster care as the whole state of Florida has, or for the most part. And what we do is we provide Christ-centered services for vulnerable children and struggling families. Okay. And so in our realm of foster care, that looks like licensing Christian foster parents. Okay. So that is kind of my little niche in the foster care world. But obviously, we just are always in a need of just caring for children. There's always children to be cared for. And so that is that is kind of what I do. I am that in between is what I like to say. Okay. The state and the family. I kind of stand in the middle for them. Okay. Are you a Florida native? I am a Florida native. Okay. I grew up in South Florida. Moved up here to North Florida around seven years ago. Okay, very cool. Well, welcome to North Florida. Thank you. Glad to have you.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

Yeah, so important question. Grew up in South Florida, currently living in Gainesville.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

I mean, where are you at on a Saturday? Like, are we Miami or no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, where are we at?

SPEAKER_02 3:20

I am definitely not a seminole. And I am bye. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_04 3:24

That's your problem, Massive.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

I am a University of Florida, graduate. I am alum. And I am always at Ben Hill.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

Absolutely. That's what I'm talking about. That is what we're talking about. You know, this area is a little bit of a battleground area, but our live oak people who are the next county over in Suwannee County, now that's the real battleground over there, right? They're half and half.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

You see, I've also seen some like Georgia fans kind of sprinkled around. And, you know, that also hits me.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

We don't know anything about Georgia fans now. Nobody's looking across the camera.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Moving on. Ms.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Sherry, please tell us about you and what you do. Yes, thank you. So my name is Sherry, and I am a foster mom of about 14 years. Okay. And soon-to-be adoptive mom.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Wow, very cool. I love it. So, how did you get involved with One More Child?

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Yes. Um, so back when it was Florida Baptist Children's Homes, um, we seen that they were doing some fostering classes, and we thought, you know what, we feel a little bit of a tug and a nudge from the Lord. And so we just begin to check it out. And we actually were one of the very first ones to do a new pilot program that they were kicking off way back, well, 15 years ago, where you didn't even take them in as a licensed foster child, but you were kind of that in-between. So we took in children when there was like a struggling mom who she needed to get stability and she needed to get a job and she needed to get a home before those children entered into foster care. Okay. So we actually did that. And then once that ended, we kind of just transitioned into foster care. Okay. And we've been here ever since. Very cool. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04 5:02

And that's, you know, that's kind of neat because I didn't know that's where you started in foster care. So we we have, you know, a relationship with Miss Sherry. You know, we've known her for a little while now. Really, our connecting point is Lucas. So you don't know this Aston, but Sherry and Lucas used to work together. Really?

SPEAKER_03 5:18

And where was that? At Glenn Baptist. Okay, okay, very cool.

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Yeah. And, you know, I'm sure Lucas is Lucas, wherever he was at. But Lucas said, Hey, I got somebody you need to meet, you know, and it was Miss Sherry. And it's because that, you know, pilot program for the Florida Baptist Children's Home, One More Child, of transition care has kind of launched you into the ministry that you you also serve with now, which is the Isaiah House, okay, which is over in McClane, and it is a transition home for kids being placed in the foster care system. And so that's neat. I didn't know that, you know, it kind of all started there and then went there, and that's what you're doing full time now. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_04 5:57

You never know what God has for you. You know what? I will second that.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

That's all right. So, like we mentioned, the month of May is foster awareness month. What is something you would love to like just tell our listeners about why it's important for us to kind of have this conversation around foster care awareness?

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Truly, I think just bringing awareness to just this brokenness that is in our communities. It is right here in Columbia County, Suwanee County, whatever county you're listening in, there are children who have experienced brokenness. And unfortunately, that may have led them to be removed from anything and everything they've ever known. Yeah. And so the awareness we truly want to bring forth is like, hey, there is a need. And these children may have like the need to go into foster care, where are they gonna go? The the state of Florida has all these rules and laws and stuff about who can be a foster parent and what it takes to get there. And so starting that process, if it is something the Lord is like tugging your heart on, is just so important because of you never know when those numbers are gonna go up, if that makes sense. Yeah. And unfortunately, like some of the trends we've been noticing is younger and younger children are having to go into group homes because of the lack of families, the traditional family. And so that is something truly that just breaks my heart. Why is a 10-year-old having to go to group care when a 10-year-old should be someone that is easy to place, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Can you tell me what is it? What is a group home?

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Yeah. So a group home is kind of in a way what an orphanage used to be, obviously a lot smaller numbers. And so it is a ratio of about I would say somewhere between like 10 and 15 kids to an adult, which is obviously not ideal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

And it's all ranges of kids at this point. You you said usually ideal, what I guess what older children would be probably a better that would be better fit for them for seeing younger kids. Okay, gosh.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Yeah. So we're seeing a trend of, hey, we used to have these hard lines of, you know, a child under this age is not going into group care to be with some of these older kiddos with some like more challenging behaviors. And they're just getting younger and younger, which is heartbreaking, truly. Because a 10-year-old's in elementary school, they're not in high school listening to high school topics, if that makes sense. Yeah. So that's truly where like the message I truly want to drive home is like, hey, this is happening right here. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I can provide some numbers if you're a numbers person.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

Oh, I'm always a numbers person.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Sure. I uh and these numbers are like DCF numbers. These are pulled straight from the reports from March. That's the last available numbers. But out of Columbia County, there are 159 children in care. Wow. Currently.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

And that's f like foster care in general. Okay, gotcha. Correct. What is like what's the, I guess like you may not know this, what's the youngest that you have? Oh, zero to 18. So like newborns.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Correct. Kidddos leaving the hospital street into foster care. Yeah. I think just for some context, the state of Florida is a state where the minute there is an exposure to substances, that child is removed from the care of their parent. Oh you we could find that in the hospital as soon as delivered. Correct. Gotcha. Yeah. And so a lot of the cases that we see, I would say, I I can't give you a percentage, but when I read these reports, you know, it's always, hey, substance use.

SPEAKER_05 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Along with, you know, other things that can come with that. But once that is present in the state of Florida, it is an immediate removal from their care. Okay. And so that's where we see the youngest babies coming in.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

Yeah. So that number that you shared, is that the number of kids that are from Columbia County in care or the number of kids in foster homes that are in Columbia County? Because I know that's the desire to put those, put them at homes in their county, but it's not always possible.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

Correct. That is precisely the problem, is that we have counties where there are more kids coming into care from. Obviously, we serve 13 counties within our two court circuits that we cover in this area, but there are 159 kids in foster care coming out of Columbia County. That does not guarantee that they will be placed in Columbia County.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Yeah, I know that that, you know, it is a challenge in itself for our region, like here in rural north central Florida, because our per capita kids going into the system is much higher than our per capita families who are willing to foster. Like there, it's just disproportionate. And that and that really hit home for my wife and I. My wife, you know, is a teacher here in the county, and she teaches at a charter school. So it is a, you know, voluntary school that you can attend. It's a lottery system of how you get in, but like there's no buses that run there. You know, there's requirements of the kids and the parents to stay in the in the school. And there was a girl in one of her classes who was in a foster home, but was being moved into another home. And there was just a season of panic of, am I going to stay in the community? Is this family gonna be willing to, you know, let me stay at this school because it requires so much more of a family who's taking them in? And so it was just kind of that moment of how unstable life can be for kids in ways that we don't think about. And especially, okay, you're moving to a new home, but there's no homes in your community at all. So even if you're in a public school that is driving a bus and picking you up, and there's no guarantee you get to stay with your teachers, your friends, which are maybe the only people that you have a long-term stable relationship with. And so that's why having foster homes in those communities, I think, is just is so important to let kids stay at home.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Yeah. For context, in Columbia County, currently, One More Child has four licensed families.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

And three of those full.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

So it really puts into perspective that when you look at, and obviously this is just like Christian foster families who have like chosen to be licensed with one more child. But when you look at like obviously the faith side of it all, which is like why One More Child stands in this ministry aspect of foster care, is okay, well, now you're looking at four families who have chosen to dedicate their foster care journey to say, hey, this is my mission field.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

And I commit to sharing the name of Christ with the child that comes into my care. I commit to taking this child to church every Sunday. I commit to, if they are of age, taking them to youth group or taking them to Iwana or whatever the case may be of the local church, is like, hey, I commit to doing this as my mission field. And, you know, I've seen truly such beautiful things come of this. I think one of my most powerful, like, dang, I'm doing what the Lord has intended me to do in my life, is I sh there's, you know, children that come through my desk all the time, unfortunately. And I knew of this family who was fostering within my church. And I had known this sibling group, I knew their story very well. You know, there's just those stories that really stick with you of like, dang, this is really broken and really sad. And it was this group of three siblings, and then I knew that the younger two had been able to be kept together, but I knew that the oldest one had not been able to be placed with her sisters, and I knew where the two little girls were placed, but I didn't know where the oldest was placed. And it just so happened to be that I uh walk into my church on Sunday morning and I'm like, you know, this sibling group has been on my heart all week. I'm like, I've been hearing about the younger two and what's going on. And I sit down for service and I look up at the baptistry and I hear a name that sounds so familiar. And I'm like, why does that name sound familiar? Why does it sound familiar? And I look up, and who do I see but the oldest sister of the youngest two little girls that are in my church getting baptized? Why? Like just a couple days after being moved for behavioral issues.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

And that's why we do this, right? Is to see these kids who had no hope or may not have known Jesus before coming into care, who are given this opportunity and now I'm gonna be praising God with her in heaven. Like and it's this kid who has come from so much brokenness that now has this hope. Yeah. I I get to hear you talking about this because of a family who chose to say, hey, we commit to this, we commit to to showing this child the love of Christ. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:39

Yeah, that's pretty, that's pretty crazy. One of the things we say at the orchard is it just so happens, never just happens. You know, there's no coincidences when you serve a sovereign God. That's that's an amazing story. I I know that, you know, the idea of foster care is incredibly intimidating for a lot of families. But, you know, Sherry, you that was something that you and your family said yes to and stepped in. So I'd be I'd be interested to just hear from your side of things, like what led you to that point of being able to say, okay, I don't know that we're ready for this, but we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

Well, I guess it's just really growing up in a background where we were serving in church our entire lives. My dad was a deacon, and when the doors were open, you were at church. And so just knowing that that calling on my life is to serve. Yeah. And you just continue to walk in faith daily in your life, just wondering, okay, God, what is it that you have next for me? And when he just puts somebody in your path, sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and trust that God's gonna work it all out. I always tell people that one of the most dangerous places you can be is comfortable. That's good. And foster care is definitely uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:49

And so there is nothing easy about it. There's nothing easy about saying yes to a child you don't know. There's nothing easy about them entering into your home, interrupting your routine, your family dynamic. But there's something so beautiful about that saying yes and watching what good God does in the process.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Really, it's just taking a leap of faith and just trusting that, okay, God, if this is where you have us and this is what you're calling us to, then you're gonna equip us and we're just gonna keep walking forward.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:17

So that's kind of what we did. We just jumped all in and 14 years later, here we are. And the journey has been exciting. There has been lots of ups and downs with it, but I can literally think back to every child that's ever come in our doors, and we sowed those seeds that needed to be sowed.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

And I have an um an amazing story I would love to share. Let's hear it. So our very first foster child was two years old. Valerie knows where I'm going with this. Yeah. And so she was our very first placement in our home and sweet little girl. And so we had her for about probably a little over a year, and we fought for the best for her, just hoping and praying that she would not be returned into the same circumstances. But whenever you foster, you always know going into fostering that reunification is always the goal.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:05

And so there's a lot of ways that we'll go with this conversation. But as a foster parent and as a new foster parent, all you see what comes in that door is this precious little child. How can you not fall just immediately follow the and so she was not a child though that liked to be hugged or that liked to sit in your lap and be cuddled because she hadn't had that. Yeah. And so that was hard because you knew that there was this wall up that she was not able to be loved in the way that you felt like you needed to love her. At two years old. At two years old. Because she had already seen and been through so much. Oh, that breaks my heart. And so it was a difficult year of just meeting her where she is and not thinking that you can transform her into a child she should be, but just simply just showing up and just loving her. Period. Just loving her. And so we ended up fighting a battle for her that we felt like we needed to fight. And so we did everything we could, but God's plan was for her to go back home. And so that was 15, 16 years ago. And I say we've been fostering for 14 years, but this was really well, no, I take that back. That was about 13 years ago. And so more recently in the last year and a half, two years, we got a phone call and we were asked if we would take in a 15-year-old teen, and it was the same little girl. Stop. Really? Yes. Wow. And so we hadn't had contact with her in that 13 years, and God chose to bring her back at the age of 15 years old. And so you can imagine if the two-year-old that was in our home and how traumatized and the trauma that was already existing there, to now I'm seeing a 15-year-old who's been back in the same situation. It was definitely eye-opening, definitely challenging. But it's miraculous what God does when you just say yes. And that was a hard yes to bring a teen in.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Especially when I have children that's younger. But I couldn't not say yes to her.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

Because there was already something special there. And I thought, God, if you've brought her back to my door, there's a reason. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:03

And so that 13-year gap, I lived with a lot of guilt as a foster parent that I didn't do enough. That I maybe didn't fight enough for her. And because as a foster parent, because you do sometimes get blinders on and you do just see the child that's in your home, you forget that there's parents. You forget that this is ministry. And your job is to be praying for those parents, to be befriending those parents. Your goal is to help them walk a better walk so that they can be reunited with their child. But sometimes we as foster parents get those blinders on because all we see is that little one that's in our care. And so it was a really hard lesson that took that long to learn that wait a minute, I didn't do enough, not just for her, but I didn't do enough for those parents. I should have been different. I should have been what the Christian walk is supposed to be to those parents. I should have shown them love. I should have showed Jesus to them. And so literally, this entire journey, it took that long for me to realize, oh my goodness, there's something so much bigger in this picture of saying yes. But I have been able to see that she gave her life to Jesus while she was in her home, our home. Wow. And she did go back to the same home again. But I just got actually word last night that she's come back to church, to the church that she gave her life to. So that for me, I did my job.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

And I don't have to live with that guilt that the enemy allowed me to live with. Yeah. Did I do enough? Absolutely I did enough.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Did we fight enough for her? Absolutely we did. But that's where the enemy likes to sneak in and tell you that you're not worthy. You didn't do enough. Because he would like to steal that joy from us of being foster parents and planting those seeds. So that's a lot. That's a mouthful. But it really is so rewarding because we don't always get to see a picture like that. But when God does give us a glimpse of something, yeah, it just makes it all worth it. It makes the hard days worth it.

SPEAKER_04 20:57

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think that though has to be, you know, just from from my seat as a dad, right? And as I I love coaching. I've coached, you know, youth sports forever. So, you know, I was joking I have like a ton of kids between student ministry, coaching, you know, whatever. But man, that I I think as a foster parent, that would have to be the hardest part, knowing that sometimes these kids don't go back to ideal situations. How how do you how do you walk through that knowing that there is only so much you can do as a foster parent?

SPEAKER_03 21:29

So can I speak to that really quick? Absolutely. So I tell people all the time, if you love them so hard that you grieve them like a death when they leave, you did your job. Because that's that is your job is to love them. Yeah. And to love them so hard it hurts when they leave.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

But we have to just trust that God knows where their next steps are and that while we have them, that we do enough. So yeah, it never gets easier when you see one go home, especially to situations that you still know are not ideal.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:58

But they're coming. That lesson again that, but there is parents. So what if we could make that time that they go home, we could make a relationship with those parents, yeah. Continue walking that journey with them as well as that child. It's just a bigger picture to it. So my job as a foster mom really doesn't end when the child leaves. It really gets a little bit tougher and harder. Yeah. Because how much could I wrap around those parents and equip them and help them so that they can be the best that God created them to be, so that that home can be a better environment.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

So you're able to have contact with the parents during while that while you're under their okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

It's all up to your choosing.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Oh, okay, very cool. So you can really build a relationship with that mom, with that dad. That's really, really cool.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

It is honestly so encouraged. And it's honestly been so encouraging to me to see even someone local here in Columbia County. She just is someone always I always think about when it comes to reunification. She really stepped into that role of like, hey, I'm gonna minister to this mom. And she had these children in her care when, you know, time came and it was like, hey, it's looking like these children are ready to go back. And they were like, okay, when she had a conversation with the mom, and I was like, hey, what are you what's missing? What is missing for you to get your children back? And she was like, Well, I'm missing stable housing. That is all I'm missing for So there's a certain criteria they have to what we call conditions for return. Gotcha. And so she was like, the only thing I have left to meet my case plan is stable housing. You know what this foster mom did? She said, Okay, sounds good. She sent her listings in the newspaper, Zillow, yeah, left and right links and said, Hey, here, like I think these are all between your budget. Go look at them. Wow. And then even when a step forward after all of this had taken place where the mom was like, Hey, the best place I could find housing was about an hour away from here. That foster mom said, Hey, don't you worry about it. I'll drive these kids to you. And so she committed to driving an hour each way once a week to make sure this mom could get the time with her children that she needed to be able to get them back for good. Wow. And that's that's truly what it means to love on these parents and and to to just care for them in the way Christ cares for us.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

It's truly the only way. Because if you have resistance on every side, how are you planning to succeed?

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

And so I think it it truly is just such a humbling call of, okay, God, I trust that you know where this child is going and that you will protect them.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

And uh bottom line, God knows what's gonna happen. Yeah. And I think truly our responsibility as a foster parent is to give that child the space to heal.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Right. So you're taking them from a situation where it was hectic. It was, we didn't, whatever the circumstances may have been, there was a lot of just trauma inflicted on this child. And it's an assumed thing when they're coming into care. And so when you as a foster parent, give that child the space to heal. That's all really they're we're here to do. Yeah. Is to make them feel loved and like have that space to heal, everything else just starts falling into place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:10

Yeah. I think that's that's incredible. I mean, honestly, I wasn't aware how much contact and help you were willing or able to give to the biological parents in those scenarios, because, you know, I don't think that's something that you think about a lot when you think about foster care, but it it is, you know, not just for the parent, but it's for the child, right? Because if the goal was reunification and it should be, then you want to help that as much as possible. All right. So question that, you know, it may be kind of an elephant in the room with a lot of people, but it's been my experience, like not being a foster parent, but pastoring foster parents. I know, Valerie, in your role with this state, like you're between the state and the foster parents. And sometimes working with a system is frustrating. And you see brokenness in the system, but it's the system that you have to work within. How do you like balance that out? How do you process that out saying, hey, I know the system's not perfect, but it's what we have. So let's let's use it as good as we can.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

I think truly what I tell my foster parents in difficult situations is like, hey, all you can do is uh share what you know about this child. You, in the time you have cared for this child, have become somewhat of an expert in their day-to-day. You see their behaviors when they come back from therapy. You see their behaviors when they come back from visitation, you see the heartbrokenness when their parent doesn't show up. Share that. That is all we can do as truly like in our spaces. What we can do is advocate for this child. And after that, it truly is just faith. Like there's no other way to get through it than God. Yeah. Truly, because it is not something, and trust me, I see that like the brokenness in it. Yes. But there's all you can do is advocate and share your side of things, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 27:10

Yeah, I I think just I would imagine, you know, again, not as a foster parent, but pastoring foster parents, that the the challenge is like, hey, I know you're frustrated with some of the system, but you can't let your frustration stop you from what you feel God's calling you to do. Because just because you can't do everything you want to do doesn't mean that you haven't been able to do anything. Yeah. You know, you have been able to move the needle and just shared a cool story about, you know, that full circle moment. Sometimes you get those, sometimes you don't. Doesn't mean God's less sovereign. But, you know, I I know that that is a has to be a frustrating part of the job is just kind of seeing, man, I wish we had a better system in place. But I guess we would all say if our world wasn't broken by sin, we wouldn't need that in the first place.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

That's right. That's true. Well, and you know, we have different resources. That one of the goals that we at Isaiah 117 house and just me with networking with different organizations, like we have a foster and adoptive parent association. Okay. So I sit on that FOPA board and just letting our foster families know that you do have a community, you have support. That's so good. Um, yeah, and educating them. And then that FOPA board fights for changes.

SPEAKER_04 28:17

Fapa, foster and adoptive parent. I'm trying really hard not to laugh when you say FOPA board.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

That just sounds that that is a fun name for a board. It is fun. I say it so much thinking everybody knows what it means, and I'm just like FOPA, FAPA, FOPA. And moving on. Yeah, that's right. I'm just glad that the kids at the daycare don't hear that because that's all they'd be saying all day. Fapa. They'd be like that six, seven things. Yeah, it would become annoying. But just giving them those resources and tools that, you know, that is when it does get to be a struggle and you do feel like the system is failing, but you do have things like FAPA that assist with that and that you can take your concerns to, and then they can help work out, you know, what can we do? Because we do, like she was saying, we have that care caregiver input form that we tell all the things about the child and what we see, and that's what the court looks at. But as a foster parent, one of my goals, my personal goals, is to equip foster families in our area with just the knowledge that, you know what, you're not alone. You're not alone. Sometimes it feels like you're out on an island all by yourself. Yeah. When you get into fostering, sometimes you lose friends, you lose family because they don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

But you know what? It's a calling. Yeah. And sometimes people don't understand that if they're not ministry-minded, especially, but you're not alone. There is support here and there is community. And it's just getting them involved in that to know you do have a big support group. You just need to know where to go and who to look for.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah. Now I have a question for you ladies. What does the process look like for someone who maybe wants to become a foster parent, feels a calling? Like, what does that look like? Like how long is the process? I want kind of all the details if you're able to give them.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Sure. So there are a few, you know, requirements as for the state of Florida. Number one, you have to be at least 21 years old. Okay. You have to be able to prove that you're financially stable. Okay. That looks different in everybody's circumstance. And you have to prove that you have the space to care for the child, right? What we do is we show the state, hey, your home is a safe home.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

So there are trainings to equip foster parents truly. And you know, what does it mean? What does trauma even look like?

SPEAKER_01 30:26

There's a lot of like background things they have to have like classes take before they can even jump into that, or do they so it's about between 21 and 28 hours of training.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Okay. These can be split up in different ways. Most of these happen internally at One More Child. We provide these classes. Obviously, there is no cost attached to being a foster parent. Oh, I didn't realize that. Okay. No, I mean, uh if you're having to buy a lock to lock up your medication and things like that. But you know, like there is no cost to trainings, there is no cost to any of that. And if there is a cost, you know, there is always assistance. Yeah. But obviously passing a background screening first and foremost, then going through these trainings. These trainings are meant to equip us, you know. I can't go through every scenario and say, hey, you know, if a child does this, do this. Yeah. But I what we do is kind of give an overlay of, hey, this is what a child's brain and this is how they're thinking when they've gone through what they've gone through, the loss, the separation, the trauma. And so we try to equip our parents as best as we possibly can, kind of from like a national training point of view. Okay. And then once we start that process, it kind of simultaneously starts what we call the homestead process. And so someone will go out to your home and say, okay, great. This is awesome. This is what needs to change in your home for the state to deem it safe. Okay. And then we'll come by a second time and say, okay, cool. Now all these things are in place. I'm going to take some pictures of your home and conduct like a brief interview to kind of just get the family get to know the family better. Obviously, there's some paperwork attached, um, which we are trying to consolidate as much as possible. My always paperwork. Oh. I said this to you three times. And no, we we really do try to to minimize the amount of just hoops to jump through. Yeah. But, you know, it's truly just being able to prove, hey, this is a family that is stable. This is a family that can care for a child, and they have the capacity to do so emotionally, in their motivations, and obviously in the physical aspects of their home. And so that's kind of what it looks like as far as a timeline goes. I truly I've seen everything. And it's it's not it only so much depends on us. Okay. And so much depends on the state. And so I've seen it take three months. I've seen it take four months, okay, five months. Okay. Obviously, like from the start of training to licensing. Gotcha. The goal is it takes a hundred days.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

You can't see my face, I guess, as a podcast, but I am making a face and and there are, you know.

unknown 33:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Fair enough. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

It doesn't always take a hundred days.

SPEAKER_04 33:07

Like when I tell my wife I'm going to get something done, she doesn't have to remind me every six months.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:11

We'll get a handle, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:12

So, how could if someone maybe didn't necessarily feel the calling to be a foster parent, how can they also support the foster care community?

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Yeah. I think truly the local church is such a big answer to this. It's wrapping around the families that are doing it and being able to support them and say, hey, shoot, you have court this week. Don't worry about dinner. Here's a casserole for this week. Yeah. Or, oh my goodness, you are in over your head on laundry. Give me a basket. Again, being the church. Right. Being the church, precisely. Or maybe not even having to ask. And just recognizing these needs locally. It's it's being the church, truly. Um I've seen, you know, hey, parents night out. And the local church is gonna say, Well, we'll bring in our like child care. Y'all go have dinner and come back and pick your kids up. Okay. That I would say is like the best way to get involved. Um, Sherry, I'm sure you have a million other ideas.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Those things are just for a foster family, it's transformative because there is so many days that you do lose hope, especially when you're in the thick of watching the system fail, feeling like it's failing the child. And sometimes all you want is somebody just to see what you're doing because it often does feel alone. It shouldn't, but it does feel alone. And I'm a huge component of random acts of kindness. If you hear that there's a foster family that's got the stomach bug, just drop off a basket of Lysol and chicken noodle soup. Yeah. That for that family, no words were spoken, but you see me. Yeah. You see how hard this is.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Because this is a very hard ministry.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

Super hard. So, yes, just being the church, being the hands of feet, and not being asked or told to, just showing up.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Is huge. And it keeps foster families holding on, saying, Okay, this reminds me why I said yes. It helps me continue. It sustains me because they do feel like somebody sees the hard that they're going through. Because as a foster mom, just as a mom, period, but as a foster mom, those late night rocking when you're holding that baby in your arms and you're praying over it and you're singing, oh, I could cry talking about it. You feel like nobody else sees you. We know God's there. We know he sees what we're doing. But when you see this helpless baby who didn't ask for this, who didn't choose what they're going through, and you feel like, what else can I do for this child? It seems very lonely and feels very lonely. Yeah. I mean, as a mom, just even the husband doesn't know that we sit and cry, you know, because our hearts are broken over these children. Yeah. But just knowing that somebody else is there just to see what you're doing because it's so tough.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Yeah. I mean, I just think as you're saying that does, gosh, what an honor it is to get to love someone's child while they get to heal. That's a that's what immediately came to my mind is like almost like foster care is providing a safe place not only for the child, but also for the parent to get the help that they need. And the fact that you get because I I have a I have a nine-month old. So late night crying, holding them like uh resonates with me. But like I couldn't even imagine just the the heaviness, but also the beauty that it is to hold someone else's baby and be like, man, I get to love this baby right where they are, so this mom and dad can get the healing that they need.

SPEAKER_03 36:39

Well, and the neat story with that is so 13 years of fostering children with just the trauma and the removals, God allowed me the last year of our foster license to do cradle care, which is fostering newborns straight from the NICU. Wow. Um, that are up for adoption. Okay. And so the honor of being the first mama to those babies, yeah, picking them up from the NICU, which by the way is very weird when they need to wheel you down in the wheelchair. Oh, and you might have one this week, and then next week you go pick another, and the front lady desk is like, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. I didn't birth them. Yeah. It's okay. Funny story, we I picked up twins one day and one got released before the other. Okay. And so that's where that funny story, she's like, wait a minute, weren't you just here? And I was like, Yeah. She's like, it looks like the same baby. I'm like, they were twins. I didn't birth them. Yeah, just the foster mom. Yeah. But just the honor of getting to be that first mama and that first one who they hear sing to them and pray over them and love them and rock them. And then when I get to meet that adoptive family that comes in and knowing that they know their baby that they've prayed for forever, yeah, was safe and loved and had a mama who cared for them, yeah, life changing. So hard years of fostering with trauma, yeah, to God allowing me to just see like a whole nother side. Wow. And just like realizing this is what the entire picture is about is just being there.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:13

In the gap. No matter what the gap looks like, whether it's parents that are working to get them back or whether it's parents who have prayed to adopt, no matter what, we're just there in the gap.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

Yeah. So maybe, maybe last question is, you know, I think Sherry and I are like jump in both feet, no matter what. Like I say, here for a good time, not a long time, right? Gets us in trouble. But say somebody's listening to this and foster care is on their radar. They're still praying through it, right? They're they're they're still, you know, seeking the Lord about what they need to do, but they want to kind of start dipping their toe in the water to see what this is like, to learn more. What are some good, like maybe initial baby steps that somebody could take?

SPEAKER_02 38:56

So we host no commitment whatsoever, but we host information sessions every Tuesday night at 7 p.m. Is it via Zoom or like in person? Via Zoom. Okay. If it is something y'all want to do in person, we can more than happily do that. But they are on Zoom statewide. And so it kind of gives you a glimpse of like, hey, this is what you could be signing up for. And these are kind of the next steps, these are the requirements. You know, it really goes in depth of like, oh, this is what the state asks for, and this is what our timeline looks like. It just walks through that, explains kind of one more child as an organization. And those are available every Tuesday. If that is something that does not work for you, I I mean, feel free to reach out and we can work something out. But that I would say is uh the most logical next step. Okay. Is to just learn more and and go from there. Obviously, uh factor of being licensed with one more child is pastoral reference and and making sure that that family is involved in the local church. Yeah. So just, you know, those are all things to be asked. But I would say that that's the lowest commitment.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

You know, let me just figure out if this is in, yeah. Right. Yeah. Now, how would someone get access to that? Because I'll I can put a little link or something inside the show notes that they could click on the link or go to it for if they wanted to attend one of those T zooms. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

So our website is onemorechild.org. Okay. You'll be able to find it on there under foster care. But I mean, I can send you a link. That would be awesome. Yeah. Attach it. Absolutely. That'll be a quick either QR code or whatever you'll need. Okay. I can get that for you.

SPEAKER_04 40:35

What about you, Ms. Cher? Any like good baby steps for somebody who's thinking about this, you know, praying through it?

SPEAKER_03 40:42

I'd say if they know of a church that is highly involved in foster care, connect with them. Okay. Maybe reach out to somebody who is a foster parent or has been on that journey. I mean, they can always connect with me. But I love just sharing the story and and just sharing the testimonies that come from that so that they can see that it's not all hard. There is so much good. Yeah. There's so much good. We don't want it to be, you know, ever focused as a negative thing. But the reality is this was never the state's job. It's always been the church's job. Yeah. And so it's time for us to step up and take back what God we're supposed to do. Yeah. And so they can even reach out to the Isaiah 117 quick plug. Okay. House. Yeah. And I'll send you that link. But they can even reach out there and just see what we're doing to support foster care and how we get involved. And then, of course, we can share how, from a foster parent's perspective, the next steps would be and what you would do. I think all of those things are just good ways to begin to dip your toes in. And again, at the end of the day, jump feet first. Yeah. You're going to be colder if you ease your way in. You just want to jump in. You're been to the spring.

SPEAKER_04 41:45

You know how it works, right?

SPEAKER_03 41:46

That's true. Because the reality is, like our verse for Isaiah House, the verse Isaiah 117 says in a short cap is do good, seek justice, but take care of the widows and the orphans. And so that's what God has commissioned us with is to take care of these orphans. Yeah. And so biblically, this is our job to take care of the orphans. So if you have questions about that, just know that this is what God is commissioning you to do. And so why would we not? Yeah. I I mean, of all people, trust him. Yes. You know.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

Yeah. You know, verses that we always go back to is always James 127. True and undefiled religion is caring for the orphans and the widows. You know, if you just look up the word orphan or widows in the Bible, it it brings you to all these things of or these verses and places in the Bible where God demands say, hey, care, care for these people who are are clearly struggling and in a vulnerable time. So just truly stepping up as the church. And, you know, this is ministry at the end of the day. This is a mission field. You're you're caring for a child who's who's made in the image of God. Yeah. And just doing that wholeheartedly, not being scared to get attached. You know, that's yeah. So is what we're asked is like, how do I not get attached? And it's like, no, we want you. We want you to get attached. Please love that child. Love that child as if they were your own. Take them everywhere with you, please.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

Like they are no different. And that's probably one of the most favorite things that people say is, I don't know how you do that. I couldn't do that. I couldn't get attached. It's like, no, yes, you can. Yeah. I mean, do you want to go through that? No. But again, at the end of the day, your job is just to love them. Yeah. And it's gonna hurt when they leave, but that's okay. You did your job and you did what God has called you to do.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:26

And one of the things that we say, you know, around the church is that God does not give us hypothetical grace for what might happen, you know, if we are ever there, but he gives you grace for the moment when you get there. Yeah. So you don't know what you would be able to do until you're in those shoes. And that grace for the moment, that new mercy for that morning, yeah, is what you have then.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Yeah. Well, ladies, thank you so much for jumping on and just making us aware what May is. And yeah, I just hope and pray that yeah, you feel the nudge or just even curiosity on what foster care looks like, how you can. Get involved, check out one of the reference links that we have listed. And yeah, jump on a Tuesday call. Call Miss Sherry and just yeah, ask the questions. But again, ladies, thank you so much for being here. What a great conversation. For the listeners, we will catch you guys next week. Have a great week. Thanks for joining us for this episode of Let's Talk About That. We hope it encouraged and challenged you as we continue to grow on this journey of faith and embrace community together. If you have more questions, thoughts, or feedback, we want to hear from you. Be sure to reach out to us through our social media or visit our website to stay connected. If you found today's discussion meaningful, don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Until next time, we hope that this episode inspired you and will keep Sunday's message at the front of your mind. See you next week.