Ep. 135 | The Orchard Church Momcast | ft. Mary Beth Everett, Stephanie Littleton, & Danelle Bradow

In today's episode, Astin Kahnk is joined by Mary Beth Everett, Stephanie Littleton, & Danelle Bradow for another Momcast episode! Listen in as they discuss walking with Jesus in every step on your parenthood journey, as well what a faith-filled life looks like. Let's dive in!

Resources:

Screw Tape Letters - CS Lewis

Not a Fan - Kyle Idleman

If you have any questions about this podcast, or about The Orchard Community Church, we would love to hear from you! Visit our website at theorchardcc.org and fill out our contact form, or send us a message on Facebook (@IAmTheOrchard) or Instagram (@theorchard.cc). Until next time!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

If you are walking out a calling that he's given you, which is parenthood, you're walking that with him. So that means that you are doing this with him and constantly, you know, going to him in prayer and asking for his guidance and following, you know, the Holy Spirit's leading, that will deepen your relationship with him.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Just knowing that he's with you each step of the way and how those seasons change, but you know, to be able to experience it on all those levels is it just brings us back to that faith that's so important that he's there, even when maybe we're not fully committed.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

When you say prayer, it is our biggest weapon and it is the way that we still pour into our children's lives when they're across the country and you can't physically do anything. We have prayer, and I've seen time after time how that has come to fruition in their lives.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Welcome to Let's Talk About That, the podcast where we deep dive into Sunday's message and explore your questions. I'm your host, Aston Kank, and I'm excited to share this journey with you. Whether you're a longtime member of The Orchard or a first-time visitor, Let's Talk About That is your space to explore, reflect, and connect. Join us as we navigate the intricacies of faith, spirituality, and daily life, seeking to understand how the wisdom shared on Sundays can be applied to our modern challenges. So, grab a cup of coffee, find a comfortable space, and let's dive in together. This is Let's Talk About That, where the conversation about Sunday's message never stops. Well, welcome back to Let's Talk About That. Here we are with our final week of our July Momcast takeover. And man, the conversations have been so, so good. We have heard from our Brantford location momcast, our Live Oak Momcast, and last week we heard from our Lake City Momcast. So today we get to wrap it all up with all three of our locations on today. So, ladies, how's it going? It's great. Good, going, good. Awesome. Glad you guys are here. So we'll just kind of go around the table and just let the listener know who you are and what location you attend.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

I am Danelle Bredo. I am married to Pastor Robert Bredo from the Brantford location. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Awesome. Thanks for being here. I am Mary Beth Everett. I'm married to Chad Everett. We attend Lake City Location and we have three kids.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Awesome. I'm Stephanie Littleton, married to Eric for 31 years, and we go to the Live Oak location, and we have three children and one grandbaby.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

I love it, man. This is gonna be a good, good conversation. So yeah, so thanks again for being here. And I'm just gonna jump right into our icebreaker question. So, what is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

SPEAKER_00 2:55

I would say some of the best advice that I have received would be, you know, don't sweat the small stuff. So um, you know, I'm I'm a warrior. Me to you. I'm very much a warrior. And I know that I'm not supposed to be. And in Matthew 6, it tells us, you know, to do not worry. Don't worry about what we're gonna eat or what we're gonna wear. If God can handle, you know, taking care of the birds, then surely he can take care of us. And so whenever I I start finding myself in that situation of, you know, just stressing over small things, I have to remember God's got this, you know, and really our focus is to, you know, submit first to the kingdom of God and all of his righteousness. Then he'll add to all the things that we need. So kind of reminding myself to not sweat the small stuff. Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

That's good.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

What about you, Miss Stephanie? Well, my advice comes from Pastor Eddie. Oh, so wise, such a wise guy. Several years ago, I was struggling with a friendship that had drifted apart, and I searched out his advice to see if I should restore that relationship. And his advice to me was you may be a peach of a person, but not everybody likes peaches. And it's really good. And as a struggling people pleaser, girl, me too. That spoke to me, and I have really stepped into that. Not everybody has to like you. Yeah. And you are still a good person.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Yeah. That's so hard though to wrap our minds around that not everyone, you know, may like you, but you know, oh, that that's good. I'm I'm gonna put that one in the back of my mind. Thanks, Pastor Eddie.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

So I have two things, but they're not nearly as deep as the that's okay. We're here for it. As either one of those. So I have a really hard time answering in absolutes, like absolute type questions, like the best or what's my favorite, whatever. So, but I did have two things come to mind. So one comes from my dad. He said this to me, and I've also witnessed him say this to other people. And it's in relation to speaking about hard things that you may have to do. And not hard things that you may have to do like just one time, but like a season of something hard or a season of something uncomfortable. And he will say, like, you can do anything for a year, or you can do anything for a month, or however long that that thing, you know, could potentially last. You can do anything for a year. And relating that to parenting, I think that that is really comforting. Yeah. Because with parenting, you can walk through some really hard seasons or just draining seasons. Like y'all talked about the trenches a lot, and there's a lot of different trenches in parenting. So whether it be like the sleepless nights season of parenting or the toddler tantrums season of parenting, you can do anything for a year. And things are gonna be so much different a year from now than they are in that moment. It really is just you can do anything for a year or you can do anything for a month or however long it's lasting. And then the other one of you know, very not deep at all. But I saw an ad for a sign either on it was either Facebook ads or Instagram ads or something like that, where it was a sign and it was meant for like somebody's office or bedroom or whatever, and all it said was everything is figure outable. That stuck with me because truly everything is figure out.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

And it'll be okay. It might not look like you thought it should or would, but you're gonna figure it out and it'll be all right.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

Yeah. Oh man, those are good, ladies. All right. So what are just some tangible ways that you and your husband stay on the same page when it comes to doing life together?

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Well, about eight years ago, we started dating each other again. I love that. With a purpose and intention, and the night of the week has changed, but it's always every week. Okay. It is is a very high priority to us. And so that is our time to touch base, to reconnect, to have fun. I love that. Uh, we like to do sport or just eat out, take walks, whatever it is. It's our regular meeting with each other. I love that. And we both look forward to it.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

Yeah. What are some fun eating places you guys like to go to?

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Oh, we're kind of boring.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

I'm always curious because like now moving back, I need to know what are the places to go.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

So we base everything off of dessert. Oh, desserties. I love that. DW Blacksmith has really good desserts. So that's a go-to. Yeah. I love that. That's good.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

What about you, Meribeth?

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Yeah. So we are, I feel like just coming out of the like super busy, physically and time-draining era of parenthood. Our oldest is 12 and our youngest two are eight. And so we're out of the just constantly being needed. And also, like, there is a little bit, I do see what's the right word? Where you feel bad for asking people to watch your kids. Yes. We're finally like out of that where they can, you know, pretty much more independent. They're more independent. If we want to go on a quick date, we can. But talking about something different, a way that we just stay in communication is we texting is a wonderful thing for marriage and communication. I feel like we stay in constant communication, especially with y'all's crazy schedule. Schedules. Yeah. My husband's in law enforcement. And so for the majority of our marriage, he has had a wacky schedule. And so we stay in constant communication throughout a day with texting each other. Small things like, hey, what do you want for dinner tonight? Yeah. Hey, this thing happened or whatever. It's really great because generally, before we see each other in the evenings or whenever the one person gets off work, we already kind of know what kind of day that they have. That's good. Yeah. I already know if he's had a rough day at work before he gets home. So you're not going to bombard him with 57,000 questions. Yeah, yeah. It helps with a lot of things. Yeah. He already knows what kind of day that I've had before we see each other for the first time. And so I think that that helps too. And then obviously making sure that you're taking time, whether it be on a date night or if you're not in that season of life yet where you feel like you can get away regularly after the kids go to bed, sitting down, making sure you're having conversations about what's going on with your kids, what's going on with your marriage, dreams that you guys have together, like dream together still. Celebrate when you accomplish one of those dreams and then pick something else to dream about and to work towards and to talk about. I think that's really important.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

Yeah. I love it because I feel like so meeting Brandon's very much a dreamer. And before marrying him, you know, mine was like, get married and be and be a mom. Yeah. And that was it. And so now he's gotten me the all right, like, what do you feel God is calling you to more than that? So sitting down and talking about dreams is something we've recently started doing. It's been so fun to hear, all right, what does God put on your heart? What does God put on my heart? How do these things merge together?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

And Chad and I actually were just talking about, I think we were talking about it with my sister-in-law recently. And he kids with me a lot because he more so I think is a dreamer than I am. And I'm a very like practical, let's take action, all the things. And so he was saying that I tend to like if we're just talking about the possibility of something, by like the next day, I've got like a game plan. Like, okay, XYZ, have you thought about looking into this? Or I'm sending him links and this, that and the other. Like he was he was joking that hold on the phone. Like he was joking recently that if, you know, he just happens to mention, like, say we're watching like a UFC fight or something like that, and he just has happens to mention, you know, I've been thinking about maybe getting into UFC or that. Like the next day I'm like, have you called this Jim? Or I found this one in Jacksonville or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

Oh, that's awesome. What about you, Ms. Dennell?

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Well, Robert and I have been married for 24 years. Oh. We dated for five years before we got married, and we have two kids. So we're at the age of 17 and 20, soon to be 17 and 20. So yeah, we're we're kind of at that stage as well. As, you know, we can we can go on a date around volleyball games. Yeah, you know, around the schedule. Around the schedule. But, you know, we still have kids at home, but we're also borderline of that empty nest. And so it's really kind of pushing us to really soak in every moment that we can because we know that changes are right around the corner. And you're just we're just savoring every moment of family time. But but both of these ladies just each had a word that really just stuck out to me. One was intentional and one was communication. So good. And I think that that's that's the key for Robert and I has been that intentional communication. You know, it's not gonna happen just by chance. Yeah. Um, that we would just really have to be intentional about the communication, whether it be a text, whether it be a phone call. And, you know, Marietta, you mentioned just knowing before you get home kind of how the day has gone. And that does, that is so vital, I think, to a relationship, knowing what you're gonna walk into and you know, how to respond to that. And so just really just setting that time aside every night before we go to bed to decompress with each other, to get a game plan for the next day and go over our schedules. Okay, where are we gonna be? What are we gonna be doing, you know, and and just you know, not having any surprises come up because we have had the chance to talk about it and pray through it and go to bed with a solid foundation that's been set underneath us? So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

No, that's so good. All right. So, how do you ladies integrate your faith into your workplace or daily interactions with people? Because we're people all the time, and you know, here at the orchard, we've really been talking about being that informal missionary. So maybe let me rephrase the question. How can we be an informal missionary in our workplace and with our daily interactions with people?

SPEAKER_02 12:56

So, one of the ways that often comes up in daily living, just being out and about, is the opportunity to pray for people. And so usually one of my first thoughts in the morning as I'm waking up is Holy Spirit, lead me in what I say and do today. Yeah. And I shouldn't be as surprised as I am sometimes by the opportunities. And I've gotten better about being obedient in the moment. That's so good. When that opportunity is presented, stepping into it and stopping and putting aside whatever fear might come up or thinking somebody might think ill of me in some way. And usually people respond very positively to can I pray for you or help in in that moment. And so just embracing that because I'm asking for it, I ask God to break my heart for what breaks his. And so if you're looking for it and available for it, he will ask you to do it.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Yeah. I've had those opportunities where I've prayed and God has, or I'm listening to a song and God brings someone to my mind. I've been trying to be a lot better about as soon as God puts that person in my mind, shooting them a text. Hey, you came across my mind, or hey, I heard this song. I'm praying for you this morning because I feel like that is so important when people know, like, hey, like, or like I had a friend from years ago that popped to my head, hey, bottle at you today. And she was like, Oh my gosh, I needed to get a text. Exactly. And again, his timing is always perfect. Yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Yeah, that's great. Just being at the school, I I have a lot of opportunities to pray for, you know, and it and I find myself just in that continual prayer. God walk with me. Yeah. God, you know, these students need to feel your presence. Let me be an encouragement to them. And I find that that's probably one of the biggest things is when I'm sitting with students, is probably the encouragement. Yeah. As far as the workplace, I'm really blessed to work with a lot of Christians. And so that's that's nice. I don't take that for granted. Another thing, you know, is just I guess I go back to that word intentional again. But, you know, yeah, that looking for who needs that extra encouragement. And so whenever I I I go to work, I try to also remember that, okay, God, I'm going to work for you today. That's good. I'm not working for man. Yeah. When I sign in, I'm signing in as a missionary. And a lot of people, you know, look at at teaching and and there's a lot of things that come to mind, you know, with, well, you get the summers off, you get this, you get that. And and, you know, but it's it's kind of challenging at times. And, you know, so it's not always the positive workplace that I would like for it to be. So, you know, there's definitely times that I fall short and I'm humbled in that.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

And so I just have to kind of take each day with a reset and say, okay, God, you know, again, what would you have for me to do today? And just living that life of, I guess, just to put it as Robert always says, that, you know, we have to live a life above reproach. Yeah. That everything that we're doing, everything that, you know, that we're claiming to be has to be so that people can look and say, yes, they're they're walking the walk, they're talking the talk, and that kind of thing. Their walk matches their talk. Yeah. And so there's that accountability that comes into play every single day. And do I have perfect days? No. Do I fall short? You know, I'm constantly humbled in that. But just being aware that I'm working for God, not for man. That's so good.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Yeah. That's good. What about you, Mary Beth?

SPEAKER_01 16:28

This was kind of a hard question for me to think about at first because I work for the church. Yeah. So when I'm thinking about, you know, my faith in the workplace, and I'm just like it's kind of built in. Like it's which is really, really cool. And I do not take for granted, not one single day. So I'll kind of phrase it kind of how you were saying, just being out and about, just living my life. I try to be joyful, even if sometimes I don't feel joyful.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

When I'm interacting with strangers, especially for whatever reason, I really feel compelled to if I am interacting with someone who's checking me out somewhere, a waitress or someone who is working at a store or whatever, I really feel compelled to just be very kind and nice to them. Yeah. I'm very quiet and not a talker by nature. So I'm I'm not gonna have a conversation with them. Typically, I'm not. I just don't, I'm not a small talk person. I'm not like that. But I want my interaction with them to be joyful and kind. I want to look them in the eye. I want to thank them. I want them to feel different from interacting with me.

SPEAKER_04 17:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

And I think that that is kind of how I try to live my life out and about. That's good.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

I've even recently been trying to call, say them by name. If they say, hey, I'm I'm Mary Jo and I'm your waitress. Oh my gosh, thank you, Mary Jo. Or, you know, I recognize Steven's tag. Thanks, Stephen, so much. Again, trying to, like you said, see them as a person, not just I know what they're their job. Yeah. That's so good. Well, what is one book, obviously besides the Bible, that has significantly impacted your walk with God?

SPEAKER_02 18:17

I can't narrow it to one book, so I have two.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

I'm here for it.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Okay. The first one is The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

I don't think that's mine. Sorry, I took it off. Okay. Screw tape. I've heard of this, but I have not read it. It's on my TBR list that I've never. TV. Oh, TV. TV read. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

What does TBR mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

It's so good. Well, I'll let you expound on that one, but I also really, really love Not a Fan by Kyle Eidelman.

SPEAKER_05 18:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

So you said it was not a fan. Not a fan by Kyle Eidelman. I've never heard I've heard of Screw Tave Letters, but I haven't heard of this one. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Here for it. It it was virtually life-changing in the way you I would say so too.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

You go ahead. No, you go ahead. Yeah, absolutely. It's going to be slightly different for you then for me. So yeah, tell me about these books.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

For me, it was stepping into becoming a follower of Christ. Right. Knowing Christ and understanding who he is and his character and and all of the things about him. And it became more about following and it lays it out very sympathetically.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

Which book is this? The screw tape letters or not a fan.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

Yes. Okay. So that's what I liked about that one. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

So I'll kind of piggyback off that and then you can round us out with the screw tape letters. Yes. So Not a Fan by Kyle Eidelman was recommended to me by my sister, actually. And I she had just read it, I think, like with her small group at church. This is when they lived somewhere else. So I read it and it actually took me a really long time to read it because it was very convicting. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

See, it's not a fast read. It's when you want to sit and marinate. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

And I think I I've even gone back and reread it. I'm six I read it. I read it originally in my early 20s. Okay. And it was life-changing. I do have to say it's it's all about not being just a fan of Jesus, but a follower of Jesus, which is so different.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

And I've even found that it has kind of shaped how I talk to my kids about the Christian life. Whereas, you know, before I say before I didn't have kids at this point in time, but I could see how, and I do notice that this is how these things are phrased sometimes is when you believe in Jesus, you XYZ, X, Y, Z. When you believe in Jesus, you live this way or that way. And I don't say it like that intentionally when I talk to my kids. I say, when you follow Jesus, you live this way. We don't we do or don't do XYZ because we follow Jesus, not because we believe in Jesus. Because believing in Jesus and following Jesus are very different. That's so good. I love that. It's a great book.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Go ahead, Stephanie, and introduce the other and I'll piggy deck. Screw tape letters.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

Yes. So the screw tape letters are a fictional conversation between demons and the devil. Okay. And uh it's very well done in the fact that uh it kind of puts you in in this realm of this the spirit realm, which I think Western culture especially doesn't recognize. Yeah. But it's very real. Yeah. And the way that he does it is is just so perfect because uh you see the conniving and then the the intention and the way that he schemes and we on this side think, Oh, this is a good thing. And and that's often what Satan does is take a thing and turns it manipulates it, yeah. And it's just very well written. Okay. And understandable. And I agree. C.S.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Lewis is phenomenal.

SPEAKER_03 22:05

My husband bought like a whole slew. It was like something about grief. I think the screw tape letters might be in it. So I might need to dig those off his bookshelf.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

I think just the awareness of, like she said, the spiritual realm. Yeah. That sometimes we or I maybe lose sight of that it just brought an awareness of the schemes that Satan will go to that maybe it looks good, like she said. Maybe it's something we wouldn't think, well, that's of Satan. Yeah. But I was really convicted, not only for myself, and and just being aware of the tactics that he will scoop to use, but as a parent reading it, it's like, oh my gosh, this is what my kids are facing too. And so just being aware of that from a parent point of view as well as personally, it just brought another level of prayer of how I pray for my kids and what I need to pray for my kids in that spiritual realm because, you know, he's he's just the perfect imitator. That's all he is, or not perfect. There's nothing perfect about him. But he's just an imitator. Yeah. He tries to imitate God. And he's done that since day one. And the things that he will do to try to connive us into believing that this is of God when it's really not, is just eye-opening. Yeah. So another book that I was thinking of, and I know this is very controversial. There's a movie out, and you know, and that kind of puts things into play whenever you see it. But the shack. And the only part that really, really stood out to me is when, you know, the spirit is dealing with them and he says, okay, you want to be the judge and sit in this judge seat then. Yeah. And that's so convicting to me because so often we want to fall in, or again, I want to fall into judgment of others. But do I really want that responsibility? No. Yeah. You know, whenever they turn and they say, okay, you're the judge now. Which of these two people do you want to send to hell for eternity? Yeah. You know, which of your children? I cannot make that decision. And that's not what God wants. He doesn't want his children to go to hell, you know. So it just again, kind of controversial, and I get that, but just that little snippet that can come from that book of the shack is just like, oh, you know, anytime I start to to think about judgment, that comes to mind. I don't want that responsibility. That is a God thing. You know, who am I to judge? Yeah. But those two are very thought-provoking and yeah, I might have to throw those in my Amazon cart.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

All right. So how are you ladies able to navigate friendships while being busy in motherhood, busy being a wife, just busy with life?

SPEAKER_01 25:00

So I'll go first. I am 12 years into motherhood. So I've had some a little bit of trial and error in this. And I'm also coming out of, like I said earlier, the just like the neediness, you know, era of parenting, which is very different in a season and important. But I think when you stop trying to keep your idea of friendships in the same box that it was in pre-kids, it really helps in your friendships post-kids. Okay. Just giving your friends grace, giving yourself grace. Yeah. When you find friends who give you grace and who don't expect things from you that you can't give in that season is really special. And I think I've come to to see that the friendships that I have made post-kids are very deep and lifelong friendships. That's good. And I really think that that is because and again, I'm 12 years in. So you know, we we've and my good close friends are in a similar season of parenthood than I am, which helps tremendously because you get each other without even having to talk about it. Yeah. You know, but I think when you allow yourself to view friendships differently because they are going to look different, that that really, really helps. Yeah. And I think I already said this, but just to reit reiterate, give yourself grace. Friendships are wonderful and a needed thing, but depend not really depending on your season. It always is the most important thing, but your family unit is more important.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

And you are going to go through seasons where that is where all your time and attention needs to be. And that's okay. And you can still have friends go through that season with you. And they they may be in that same season at the same time as you, which that has happened with a few of my friendships, where like we both are just like, I love you. Let's like, yeah, how you doing? Yeah. Type thing, texting back and forth. We hadn't seen each other face to face and whatever, you know. But I think giving yourself grace, giving your friends grace, don't take things personally and recognizing and realizing when it might be a season when you really need to pour all your time and attention into your family. And when you may have a friend over there who might be in that season that maybe she's not talking about, but she's in a season where she needs to pour all of her time and attention into her family and letting that be okay and having friendships that can withstand all those different changes.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Yeah. That's so, so good. Yeah, I know I'm in that season of life where I might have 90 plus unread text messages in my phone because my time and energy is into my kids. So I love those friends who are like, it's okay. I'm like, hey, it's been three weeks. Like, all good. I'm like, thank you for the grace that you've given me because I did read your text message. I just had to keep it on red because life be life in. Yes. Yeah. What about you ladies?

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Well, I'm very blessed with some great friends. I've had some friends from childhood that were still able to get together from time to time. We it takes a lot of work. Yeah. It takes a lot of scheduling. Yeah. You know, when we're in different cities and uh not long ago, different states even. Wow. But sometimes it's that quick text. Sometimes it's just a hey, I'm checking in. Yeah. And then, you know, as Mary Beth mentioned, you're also going to have friends that, you know, with with kids, especially playing sports. You know, a lot of my friends are those that I spend games and hours in the gym, you know. And so keeping it all in perspective is really good. I like that idea that sometimes it's family. Yeah. And, you know, the friendships are are icing on the cake. And when it happens, that's great. Sometimes it does. And we can get together for, you know, a a time to have dinner and to share and to catch up and encourage each other. But other times it's just a quick text and hey, I'm thinking about you, praying for you. And so I think just being flexible is so important. And that grace that you mentioned, Mary Beth, you know, understanding that we're all in this together and that we just need to have that encouragement.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

Yeah, that's good. What about you, Stephanie?

SPEAKER_02 29:33

Well, I'm in a slightly different stage of life where I'm practically an empty nester. We're nest adjacent. And so I have a great deal of free time. And what I'm learning recently is that I need to do a better job of balancing that and still maintaining my priorities at home. I'm a fun person. I like to go and do, but I still need to make sure that I prioritize my family, even though they don't need me for much anymore. Yeah. I I need to make sure I have that balance at home. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

Yeah. No, that's good. All right. Well, all of us around the table are moms. So, what would you say is something or many things that you learn from your mom that has helped you in your own motherhood motherhood journey?

SPEAKER_02 30:21

My mom does something that we call supposing. Okay, tell us more about it. And supposing is essentially just thinking the best of people. And so I'll give you an example. If I am driving and somebody cuts me off, and I think, oh, what are I doing? They drive terrible. Yeah, yeah. I know. My mom would say they might have somewhere really important to go. Somebody might be sick, and then trying to get and she creates these stories. She supposes, and it's so full of grace. And it's something that I'm trying to learn. My sisters and I tease each other because we're starting to sound more like mom, but it's such a good thing. I love that we're supposing a lot more. And it it comes out as loving others. That's what it owes.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

So yeah, she does a great job at it. Especially if you I think of like a mom that has like young kids that, you know, or or even a dad could even take that. Because sometimes, you know, we can let our little road rage show every now and then. Literally having that lens of switching it, of like, okay, maybe they do have somewhere to go. Or again, supposing I like that. I'm gonna I'm gonna keep that little nugget of knowledge in there. I might be using it later this afternoon when I have my kids in the car, in the car with me. I love that. What about you ladies?

SPEAKER_01 31:32

So I learned how to rest without guilt from my mom. And I I did have to kind of think about this because I have a great mom. She's wonderful, she was a wonderful mom growing up. She is even, I don't even know how, but an even more wonderful mom as I'm an adult. She just, Katie and I talk about a lot how she cares for us well as adult daughters. But I did learn, like from watching her in my childhood, I learned how to rest without guilt. And in the moment, I obviously wasn't realizing that I was learning that from her. But something that she always did, and I'm sure she didn't do this when we were babies and toddlers, but you know, into adolescence, you know, elementary age on, she laid down for nap time herself. Bid for her every day. I want to say it was at like 2 p.m. It was a space specific time. Like we knew, and we the house was silent for an hour. Okay. And it wasn't in her bedroom where we could still, you know, care. It was slap dab in the middle of the living room. In the middle of the house, the house got quiet, it got dark, she laid down and she was off limits for an hour every day. Like, do not disturb. Do not disturb. And it was just a known thing. Like it was a known thing. We knew mom's laying down, she's taking a nap, she's resting her eyes is a lot of things. We use that term. My dad and my mom use that term. I'm gonna rest my eyes for a little bit. But like our home didn't fall apart because she took time every day to lay down and rest. We didn't feel like she loved us any less because she was off limits for a specific time during the day. And I don't know. I think just years and years of watching her do that helped me be able to rest and not feel guilt over it. So good.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

That that's great. I love that. So a lot of people, at least in Brantford, will know my mom. And so there's my brother and my mom and I, and growing up, and and she was basically a single mom for many years. And so she she was a really hard worker. She taught me that that hard work is important and that it pays off. And so I think just seeing her in so many roles, because she was that single mother that would work two or three jobs to kind of make ends meet. So the importance of that, and then the just the importance of relying on God that He's gonna provide. You know, the power of prayer, just I guess her her spiritual walk, all those years when we were younger and seeing her be able to overcome has just been remarkable. Yeah. And so, you know, whenever I look at my mom, there's actually quite a few things that I look back and say, that's that's because of mom. That's the foundation that I have that's coming from her. So very fortunate to have the mom that I have.

SPEAKER_03 34:27

Love your mama. She's she the best. All right. Well, what does it look like to redefine your purpose and your identity as your role in your family shifts?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Well, I'll go ahead and talk about with my kids being the ages they are at 25, 22, and 18. And this is an active conversation we're having in our household between my husband and I because things are already looking different. And having been a stay-at-home mom for so long, okay, we're talking about what will this look like for and so this past year we've made some changes. I've started a new, I can't say career because I'm not employed full-time, but it is a passion. I love that. And it's something to have direction for the next the next several years going forward. We don't refer it refer to the next stage as retirement. I love it. We call it phase two because we are just depping. Retirement sounds so old. Yeah. We're just moving into phase two. I love it. So phase two looks pretty specific for me in that I'm stepping into a new form of ministry with Fit Church. Okay. The Orchard has been so kind to give me space over in Live Oak to do that. What is this Fit Church? This is the first time hearing of it. Fit Church is a weekly get-together where we do body weight exercise and we have a short devotion and time of prayer. How cool is that? The combining of my two passions.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

I love that. So phase one, pour it in, pour it into your kiddos. And now phase two, all the giftings God's given you, you're able to pour into your community. That is so cool. Fit church. So have to what I'm gonna dig some deep. So, like what days of the week? If someone is listening, is like this is your jam, how can they get connected?

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Yeah, Tuesdays at 5 30 at the orchard location. In in live oak, correct? In live oak. Okay. Oh, yes, live oak orchard location. Okay. And we will resume as school starts back. We took July and a little bit of August off.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

I love it. So Tuesday, 5:30 Orchard Live Oak. Do they need to bring their own weights or weights already prepared? It's body weight only. I love that. Oh my gosh, how fun. I may have to go check that out on Tuesdays now. I love it. All right, what about you ladies?

SPEAKER_00 36:45

Well, just thinking about my purpose, you know, I think God definitely gives us all a purpose in life. And I don't know that that's necessarily redefined. However, I think our identity in Him is always solid. We are children of God, hopefully raising children of God. And, you know, that cycle is going to continue, whether they're in the nest or out of the nest or adjacent nest or wherever, you know, off to colleges. We have to kind of maintain that purpose of I'm raising children to be lovers of God. Yeah. You know, to just pray for them to fall in love with God and to follow Him. So that piece of it, I think, is going to always be my purpose. But as far as maybe the role that I'm taking in their life, that's going to shift for sure. So, you know, as I look at getting ready to take those errors out of the quiver and shoot them across, you know, I've always told my mom, you know, she's kind of been that mentor to me. And I say, you know, the roots part is really easy. Yeah. It's the wings. When you have to give them the wings, that, you know, you have to just you just have to trust that the foundation and the roots that you've given are so solid that when the winds blow, that that that roots gonna hold strong. And so I'm I guess I'm I kind of at that point that my prayers are are starting to shift into, okay, God, I I pray that, you know, I have been faithful in the roots now as I I shoot that arrow out, Lord, just be with them, protect them as I know you will because you love them more than I do. But it's it's a strong step of faith as we get closer to that emptiness. And, you know, this last little bit that I can give as much foundation as I can, but eventually, you know, the roots are turn into wings and let them soar.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

And I would add to that when you say prayer being just a little ahead of you, it is our biggest weapon. And it is the way that we still pour into our children's lives when they're across the country and you can't physically do anything where I have prayer. And I've seen time after time how that has come to fruition in their lives. Yeah. So it's encouraging to me to have that still.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, that's so good. Especially, you know, as mommas, I think, like you said, our best weapon is just pray. Like pray because I I you know, it you you hear all this, you know, when someone does go through something really hard, it's like, what can I do? It's like, oh, just pray. I'm like, oh no, no, that is like the best. Stephanie's like, uh-huh, yeah, that's like the best thing. So I love that you ladies like that is your like number one. Like, yeah, you you're continually praying for your kids. For sure. Yeah, I love it. What about you, Mary Beth?

SPEAKER_01 39:29

So I'm not quite as far along yet. We are out of the keeping them alive phase phase of parenting, which in the moment feels exhausting, but man, the mental exhaustion that comes with the like actual child rearing. Like, yeah, oh man, they're really being formed and shaped and you know, yeah, yeah. And I do feel like I feel like more than ever they are consciously and subconsciously watching us how we live our life as followers of Jesus, how we respond, how we talk about things with them or talk about things when we're in earshot of them. I think are I'm very aware of that right now. And I'm then I'm also with my oldest, like my heart, uh my mama heart is starting to like, you know, just break a little bit. It's it's a wonderful thing to see. He's a boy, and so he's entering into soon teenage years and young man, all that stuff. So naturally he's you know, drifting more towards his dad, which should happen. I I know, and I love to see it happen too, because I I love to to watch their relationship change and grow and you know, all that stuff. But you know, I can feel him pull away. It's hard. And then I know, you know, it's just the little ones still, you know, mama's still number one, number one. But and again, it's just such a bittersweet thing because obviously I love to watch that happen, you know, for my husband. I know, you know, I just I love to watch that happen for and for my son too, you know, to watch that happen for the two of them. But you know, that you feel the pull literally. I do feel like it's physical. Yeah, it's like a physical twinge of pain to watch happen. Yeah. But beautiful at the same time. It's it's so strange. Yeah, it's motherhood. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

Well, awesome. Well, as we start to kind of wrap up this conversation, what would be some tangible ways you continue to grow just a deeper relationship with Christ and make time with God a priority when it feels impossible?

SPEAKER_01 41:49

Okay, so I'll go first. I think for me, kind of adopting an as-you-go mentality when it comes to my relationship with with Christ and not just confining it to when I'm sitting down and being super intentional with studying scripture or just like really deep in prayer, which obviously those things are very important. But I think also my prayers when I'm doing the dishes, when I'm driving, when I'm vacuuming, those are important too. And honestly, a lot of times those are my most vulnerable prayers and my most honest prayers. And that grows and deepens my relationship with Christ, even though it's not quote intentional. It is, but it it doesn't feel that way a lot of times in the moment. I still feel guilty sometimes if I'm like, I haven't set aside specific time today, or you know, I've only done it like twice this week, where I like intentionally had time to really dig into scripture or to really get deep in prayer. I do still feel a little guilty about that sometimes, but I do remind myself that I have those, quote, unintentional times throughout my day. And thinking about it as an as you go, as I'm living my life. Because also, you know, as I'm living my life, not only am I having those prayers throughout my day, but also like in normal daily life, I find myself anxious, I find myself worried about this, that, or the other, and stopping and asking the Holy Spirit to help me renew my mind. And he does. And that's one more time that he's come through for me. That deepens my faith and that deepens my grows my faith and grows my trust in him. So, you know, coming out of the super, super busy, super needed era of motherhood and into the, I do have more time now where I can be more intentional with my time, but still recognizing the just as I go through daily life, really living my life with Christ, my whole life, not just these specific times.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

That's so good.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

That is, that is. That is that's what I think about whenever I think about quiet time. It's just doing life with God. You know, it's not just a specific moment. And I think as we go through all these phases of motherhood that we've sat here and talked about today, there's going to be times that you're going to dive into the word. There's going to be times that you're reading Bible stories to your kids at night. That's a kind or yeah. You know, there's going to be times that you are sitting and going through a deep study. And then there's going to be times that you're just constantly in communion with him and talking with him and just doing life. Yeah. You know, I think about the the picture of marriage and how, you know, Christ says that the church is his bride. And, you know, just the role of husband and wife. And I look at that as my I, you know, being part of that bride of Christ that I want to spend time with Robert. Yeah. I want to know how his day went. I want to for that relationship to grow, I want to talk with him. And we're going to sing songs together, you know. And that's the same thing that God wants. Yeah. He wants just that relationship to say, hey, you know, share with me about your day. Yeah. I know it. I see it. But you when you talk it through with him, yeah, and you put it into words and you're just whispering those prayers, whether I'm walking into a classroom or if I'm driving down the road. I mean, just knowing that he's with you each step of the way and how those seasons change, but man, what a ride. Yeah. You know, to be able to experience it on all those levels is is, you know, it just brings us back to that faith that's so important that he's there. Yeah. Even when maybe we're not fully committed. Yeah. You know, he he's the one that's there.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Yeah. As you're talking, as both of you were talking already, I was thinking, you know, so often that, you know, daily quiet time can become a checklist. But when you're doing life with Christ, it's like you totally forget about that checklist. It's just becomes second nature to you to where, you know, yes, it's important for your kids to see you reading your Bible, but also Maybe as you're watching, you know, doing the dishes, praying, thank you, God, so much that I get to do these dishes or reading those Bible stories with your kids. I think that's what kind of dawned in my mind of as you were saying that of you you kind of forget the the checklist goes out the window whenever you're constantly, yeah, daily doing life with Christ. Right. That's good. What about you, Stephanie?

SPEAKER_02 46:20

Well, I'm reminded as you're talking how I felt as a young mother and the guilt that I carried because I couldn't have what I thought should look like a specific quiet time, even though I desired that. It just doesn't work that way when you're working around small children. Yeah. And it's a conversation I'm having with my daughter, who has a small child now, and she said, Mom, I don't know how to do this and I feel guilty and I want to do this. And and so the answer to that has been she and I will pick a book to study, whether it's a book of the Bible or a book to read together. And we'll give ourselves a loose time to meet with the understanding that it's okay. Your daughter is going to take priority in that some days and make sure she understands that it'll still be there and we'll pick it up the next time we can talk. That way she feels like she's getting something and not just laying it aside entirely. But that is that's a real struggle as a young mom. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:25

I love that you guys intend again, it's all about intentionality. You should make that time. I feel like that's a theme for this. Yeah. I do too. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

I love it. I was gonna say too, as you were saying that, and it's kind of piggybacks on kind of my mentality of just as you go, but also thinking about the fact that if you are walking out a calling that he's given you, which is parenthood, you're walking that with him. So that means that you are doing this with him. So you are deepening that relationship as long as you are doing it in a fashion where you are reliant on him or you are following his leading and you know that this is a calling that he's given you, that also deepens your relationship with him. And constantly, you know, going to him in prayer and asking for his guidance and following, you know, the Holy Spirit's leading, that will deepen your relationship with him.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

Yeah. Oh man, ladies, you guys are just wealth of knowledge. I love it. Well, thank you so much for being here today. And I know that this conversation is gonna bless our listeners so much. But that wraps up our July mom cast takeover. And we hope that all of these conversations have just been a blessing to all of you. If you have missed some of the other ones, I would encourage you to go back and listen to those. Just so many amazing women that attend the orchard that were able just to pour so much into these episodes. So I hope that they'll be, again, a blessing to you guys. But in the meantime, have a great week and we'll catch you next week. Thanks for joining us for this episode of Let's Talk About That. We hope it encouraged and challenged you as we continue to grow on this journey of faith and embrace community together. If you have more questions, thoughts, or feedback, we want to hear from you. Be sure to reach out to us through our social media or visit our website to stay connected. If you found today's discussion meaningful, don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Until next time, we hope that this episode inspired you and will keep Sunday's message at the front of your mind. See you next week.