83. Flashack: The "S" Comes Before "R"

This episode is a flashback of the first episode of Upskill Talks, one of our most important episodes. Lead Upskiller Michel Shah shares the most transformative experience of her career that forever changed her professional journey. 

As leaders, we are often measured by our results. Yes, but when we focus solely on the metrics and the measurements that determine success, we lose sight of the personal stories that shape the human experience of our employees and team members. 

UpSkill Keys

• Trust, empathy, and understanding drive better results
• How to understand your team's experiences and challenges for stronger relationships
• Valuing individual stories and unique needs 
• Looking beyond the numbers 
• Balancing results with investing in your team's growth and well-being

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Transcript

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This episode is a flashback of the first episode in Season two of Upskill Talks, one of our most important episodes. Lead Upskill or Michelle Shaw shares the most transformative experience of her career that forever changed her professional journey. As leaders, we are often measured by our results. Yes, but when we focus solely on the metrics and the measurements that determine success, we lose sight of the personal stories that shape the human experience of our employees and team members. This flashback episode reminds us how to build more meaningful relationships between us and the people who show up for us every day. Welcome to Upskill Talks, I'm your host, Michelle Shaw, lead Upskill at Upskill Community. Upskill Talks is a podcast for leaders, leaders who are actively seeking innovative and creative ways to interact. Lead themselves and others in every episode through real life stories and enlightening conversations, we will explore the challenges and opportunities real leaders face in today's everchanging workplace. We will present you with real strategies. For you to leverage your soft skills and produce transformative results. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let us begin. Over 20 years ago, I had a leadership role within a sales organization. In addition to that role as the top personal producer, I was designated to coach and help others set goals and hold them accountable. At that time, if you shared a goal you wanted to achieve with me, all I wanted to hear the next time we meet was that you got it done. I also had my personal goals to meet and the team to lead. We drove results and exceeded sales targets 75% of the time. One day my sales director called me aside and said, you are my most outstanding producer, and I want you to continue to run up the scoreboard and teach others how to do that. And there's one more thing I want you to do. I want you to lather before you shave. What did he just say to me? Lather before you shave. Wow. Is he suggesting that I'm not caring or empathetic with my team, that I should watch how I deliver the feedback? What's wrong with telling it just like it is? Isn't he the one asking me to grow the numbers? Okay. I am a tad bit confused here. I was born and bred in Jamaica, raised by a village, anchored by a pack of powerful matriarchs. My mother, grandmother, and aunts, excuses were never welcome, and they let you know I wasn't able to do it. Girl, cry me a river. I can't. Of course you can't because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. I couldn't finish. Tough luck. I've got time. Come back when you're done. I was raised to find ways to get things done. They always told me, if you knock on one door and the answer isn't there, keep knocking until you find the right door. All the answers you seek are on Earth. In my early career, this was the approach I took as a sales leader. When someone didn't meet their target, I didn't feel the need to waste my time with them. I used to tell my team, R comes before us, so let's talk results before stories. I could literally feel my stomach tightening when people launched into a story when I am expecting to hear about the results. So when my director suggested that I lather before I shave, I was shocked, offended, and deeply disappointed. I was getting outstanding results with that approach, so I felt justified in how I did what I did. I later learned that people were nervous to meet with me, wouldn't tell me the whole truth, and would go to great lengths to plan what they would say to me when they didn't meet their targets. Lather before you shave. Really caused me to pause on reflection. I was like a bull in a China shop focused solely on the results side of the equation. That's not the type of leader I thought I was and certainly not the type I wanted to be yet, even after becoming aware. I was hesitant to shift my approach. I felt that lathering would waste my time, give the impression that I'm open to excuses. It would drop the standards. Results would decline. That wouldn't be me. People already knew who I was. Bottom line, the results were working, so I felt my system was working. So why should I change it? My ego and I struggled with this for a while before I reluctantly and slowly modified my approach, ego in toe. I didn't even want the change to be noticed. It took a while to get my chin off the ground, lick my wounds, and revisit my approach. In subsequent sessions, I dedicated time to finding out how their month went before discussing the results I said I was experimenting with what would happen if S came before R, if we shared stories before the results. I shared some of my experiences over the month and they shared theirs. So many connections were made. So many strategies and tips were shared. I got a true understanding of their efforts. And so much of what I had missed all along became obvious. The immediate response to this slightly modified approach I call it was very encouraging. People started to say that they didn't want to let me down. I was surprised by that. Like, wow, this lathering thing works. I noticed that people felt better about themselves, trusted me to tell me the real challenges they were encountering, and I was able to identify some root causes and actually provide targeted supports. Not only did I get better results, I started to feel better about my work and myself. It felt easier, less stressful. I felt like I was really helping others. People began to open up to me even sharing mistakes they were making that would never happen before. They started seeking my help to close tough deals they were working on, based on experiences we shared in our meetings. I, they started reaching out to celebrate successes. I especially remember Jonathan who struggled to hit 25% of his targets previously. He shared that my support helped him achieve 85% of his target for the first time, and he called to celebrate it. I remember being invited to participate in social gatherings and many of them began to share personal stories with me. This lather before you shave approach that my leader recommended, gave me far more in my, in my role than I imagined. Better relationships with others for sure. My team felt better about what we were doing together, but we uncovered hidden challenges in the sales process that we were able to address at the branch level. We built momentum and improved results right across the branch. This shift to the human side of the equation has been the most impactful shift of my career and personal life. I admit that I still have a lot of work to do every day. I've grown through several versions of myself, and it's becoming more natural to me. With practice, I still care about the results and I care about people in a context defined by challenges with who we are and who we work with and how we do it. It's so important for us to go beyond broad categories and theories to learn about people, both as members of departments and groups as well as, At the individual level, theories about groups miss the details that stories tell about the individual. Get to know their individual needs. This helps you to demonstrate an understanding of who they actually are. Show the empathetic side of you. That skill, which is on the tongue of every person today, you will gain their trust, be better able to serve them, and you'll inspire them to produce better results. I share this story because I know what you're doing today may very well be working really well for you. And you may have great results, you may be successful with the approach that you're taking, and you may see no reason to change it. No need to learn about individuals that you serve. No need to find out about their stories, and certainly you have no time for any of that want. My story demonstrates is that there is a human side to the equation that has meaningful data to inform your process and results. In addition, it gives you intel that helps to address the root causes of some of the big challenges that you're facing today and struggling to find solutions for. This is particularly critical in our current climate. I recognize that we are all at different places on this journey. But tomorrow's leaders will have to be both able to manage relationships with people, relationships with machines, and relationships and interrelationships among people and machines. So it's understandable that in a world defined by this level of complexity and uncertainty, it can sometimes feel like you need to boil the ocean. You may feel like you wanna throw your hands up, but there's a way. What you need are strategies to eat this elephant one bite at a time. One key strategy is to engage meaningfully with others to build your capacity, their capacity, and the capacity of entire organizations or groups based on your sphere of influence. And that's why I'm super passionate about Upskill Talks. This opportunity to share relevant stories, insights, and inspiration with you weekly to help you upskill your game. Thank you for listening to this episode of Upskill Talks. We bring you new episodes every Monday. Please take a moment to subscribe. Leave a five star rating and a written review at Apple Podcast or follow us on Spotify, Google podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. Don't forget to share Upskill talks with other leaders like yourself, so they too may gain the skills and insights to produce amazing results. Please go to upskill community.com to review show notes, and learn how you can join a community of leaders from across the globe. Collaborating to lead in a more meaningful and impactful way. I'm your host, Michelle Shaw, and again, thank you for joining me on this episode of Upscale Talks.